Transcripts
EP. 174 Full Episode
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Leigh Ann: [: eflections and takeaways from: I cried the whole way home. [:So thank you so much kelly for helping facilitate and please enjoy
[: for me in this time of a lot [:But it's become kind of my product of the year that I'm just like, oh my god, how can I get everyone to try this? So they have the latte powder, which I absolutely love and the dosage of saffron in the latte powder is the highest But they also have capsules that you can take that still meet that minimum dosage that has been studied And the capsules are a little bit, a little bit less expensive as well.
n the two of us. I know. And [: were a couple takeaways from: sn't going to be too much of [:Yeah.
Kelly Schmidt: Yeah. But there's also some things, uh, from last year, maybe to kind of highlight to your point, it's winter, it's a season of going inward. So perhaps we kind of start there and look back a little bit in order to kind of peek ahead.
Leigh Ann: Yes, exactly. Perfect. So with that said, one of the things I wanted, I think, to start off with is I know the audience might be aware, but last year was such a big year for me.
Highs and lows, right? Um, but the biggest one being my eight year relationship ended. I moved out, got my own place, um, and that was, although it was so aligned and I knew, as soon as, as soon as I moved out, there was such a peace and such a calm and it was as amicable and loving as any separation could ever be.
eeks is how, even though now [:What I really was talking myself through is just because I'm not activated all the time about this doesn't mean I've actually processed it. Yeah. And I think that was, that's important for all of us to acknowledge and hear because I do think sometimes people say, right, oh, just time heals. I work with clients every single day who will come in and go, Oh, well, yeah, but like I never think about that anymore.
ssing. And in fact, I see it [:Again, I'm not living in thoughts of that every single day, but I have these moments where maybe a song comes on or a memory comes up and it hits me so hard. Or for me recently, it's been acknowledging the sadness that's deep, deep there. And I'm like, okay. I, the last six months was about surviving. It was like the rug has been pulled out from under me.
I need to make sure my, I don't sabotage my business. I don't sabotage this PhD program I'm starting. I still like maintain my connections and my relationships. I don't just like fall off the face of the planet. Um, and that was just surviving. And that was, it's just powerful I think for me to even sit with that myself to go, okay, you survived, you got through the storm.
security and the grounding, [:Kelly Schmidt: Yeah. It's almost like you put it all in a box for a period and you're like, that's got to go away. You start to get an inner nudge, like, okay, I think maybe I could go over the box and like, maybe bring it out and look at it.
I don't even have to open it. Maybe I'm just looking at it. And then in a couple of weeks, I might like peek open a little corner and you just slowly start to get into that, that headspace of like, Oh, I've got the resources, you know, not even in like, not necessarily anything has changed, you know, like you, you've, um, I guess they just need to say like, you've still got the same life you lived, you know, three or four months ago.
It's not like, But you've changed, right? And Your capacity to kind of take a peek into that boxes is coming to you really natural.
astating that's happening or [:And I think that's a bit lofty, although absolutely, you know, even as I was going through it, I was trying to tune in and allow my emotions to be expressed and not totally repressed. But that was more about like, I'm just need to get these emotions out. And you know, in the work I do with myself and clients, it's.
It's much, much more than just emotional expression. It's what limiting beliefs are surfacing, what's getting ingrained in my psyche. And I just think it's more realistic for people to understand the reality of life is that oftentimes we're not going to be able to do the deep processing we need to do in real time.
Kelly Schmidt: It's
ivation, the intensity of it [:Kelly Schmidt: point, maybe you're processing how you're feeling in real time, right? You're getting things out of your system.
Um, you're allowing it to move through you. So it's not getting immediately lodged and stuck in there, but I don't necessarily go back to periods of big upheaval in my life and look back at my journal and think. Oh, that was, that was a great train of thought. I'm really glad I took that all the way, you know, like I think, I think the reality is that sometimes we have to go back and say like, okay, that's where I was.
And that was the reality of how it felt. And I thought I needed to do this or this was going to be true, but with time, something else has unfolded and I have a little bit more perspective.
Leigh Ann: Yeah. And I just think there is so much right. The unconscious is so vast. And I think there's so much that gets created in the unconscious when we're going through these things.
ng about it. And I was like, [:Can I actually do this life alone? Like, can I just be a successful adult who is trying to build a business and make impact and, and hopefully do big things. And I, I have some fears that I can't and it's sort of like. In the thick of that separation, those weren't the conscious thoughts running through my head.
But as I am quietly starting to dip back into that and go, what imprints, how did I come out of that? What, what did get stirred up in my psyche from that experience? Some of these things then start to surface. And I just think that is, that's why it's so important is we don't even realize the imprints it's having sometimes until.
and do that reflecting, you [:Kelly Schmidt: Yeah.
Leigh Ann: Like that could really hold me back. If I never allowed, you know, brought that to the surface and then workshopped it.
Kelly Schmidt: Yeah. So true. And do you feel like there's a, like a time and a place or a space or even a head space where you find these thoughts are coming to you most easily or most they're most accessible?
Leigh Ann: I think it's, there's probably a number of answers I can give to that. Sometimes I just find when you're just observing yourself really gently, right?
r. There were all these then [:Crying as often as I needed to, but for me, oftentimes it starts very subtly where it's just all of a sudden there's like a heaviness in me every day. Or again, um, there's a theme of a thought, like the thought starts to come up more and more like lately it's been, I, I feel really lonely or I feel really insignificant.
I feel really small. How am I going to, how am I going to make any of these dreams come true? And. Um, and for me that will be there almost like that inner self is just like, Hey, Hey, I've got something to say. And then the next day it's like, Hey, I've got something to say still. And for me it then is that intention of going, okay, these nudges keep coming up gently.
ce for much more to surface? [:Kelly Schmidt: Yeah.
Leigh Ann: What it has to say and what it needs to hear. Or sometimes it's, I'll do an EVOC session on myself to then allow more to stir up.
Kelly Schmidt: Yeah. So you take yourself seriously when those little thoughts come up. I think, first of all, that's a really important point because sometimes I think it's pretty easy for our internal dialogue to be like, Oh God, just come on.
Like, let's get a move on. Let's go. Or like you got this or whatever the case may be thinking like you can almost positive, like mantra self talk your way past it. Um, And then, you know, really taking the time to follow that thread wherever it goes, making space for it in the day. Yeah, I think that's
Leigh Ann: key too.
I think the reality, again, [:I so deeply want to hear more about this. I can't do that right now, but later tonight, I promise I'm going to make space for you.
Kelly Schmidt: Okay. I think we should pause there because somebody listening might be like, Oh yeah, I'm sure she does that. But the reality is that I know you really do that. I know that you are literally self talking that out.
ice, like the, like the, the [:And I think that that's. Something that maybe a lot of us aren't doing that could actually kind of maybe shift things. What do you think?
Leigh Ann: Yeah, I, I find it impactful for me. Is it a one size fits all? No, of course not. That might, that approach might not resonate with some people, but I just find when I think of my inner self, almost as if she was
Kelly Schmidt: Um,
Leigh Ann: another person in the room, I pay attention to her so much more because when you think about it, if you had a friend, if you had your living, breathing friend walk up to you like, Hey, I've been experiencing a ton of sadness lately.
we'd probably be like, Oh my [:Tell me about that. What are you feeling? What do you need to say? Or if it was that situation where it's like I'm running between something, you still probably would acknowledge them and say, Oh my gosh, thank you so much for sharing your heart with me. I want to show up for you. Yeah. I can't write in this moment, but later tonight, let's jump on a call.
We'll chat through it. And I just find when I approach my inner self as if she was another person in the room, I am much less dismissive, much more engaging, much more intentional.
Kelly Schmidt: And yeah, I
Leigh Ann: have full on conversations with that inner self.
Kelly Schmidt: I think that makes total sense. I mean, to be honest, I don't do that enough.
or them and no knocking that [:Taking the time to talk it out in our minds, like not only kind of slows us down, like calms the monkey mind, but it gives us a chance to be like, Whoa, actually there's something going on that I. I do want to pay attention to, and I am going to, because you're going to remember that conversation. You know, at the end of your day, you're going to be like, oh yeah, and then that happened.
Not just like, you were running and you blew right past it. Uh, so, I don't know, I think there's something really kind of critical about almost hearing your inner voice say the words.
Leigh Ann: Yeah, I, I find it so impactful. And I think a lot of the clients I introduced that to find it really impactful as well. And the last thing I'll just say to that is it's impactful in a multiple of ways.
ty is. Many, many of us have [:We're reactivating it. Totally. But I also think it's so important because when we jump right in, when we try to positive, right, positivity is emotional bypass. It's fine. You're good. Just push through it. It's a great day. It's going to be okay. You're going to get through this. Again, like, I think that's negatively impactful for two reasons.
One, we're just totally dismissing ourselves and not attuning. But two, that inner self can't receive that message, I think, right? Otherwise it would work. Yeah. To your point, it would work. Yeah. I think of this, the analogy of like, If you're scared and you're trying to tell someone you're scared or you're stressed or whatever it is, but they cut you off.
going to be fine. It's okay. [:Kelly Schmidt: Yeah,
Leigh Ann: because you're not actually hearing me if you hear me first and I know you heard me and I know you know what's up and what I'm afraid about, then I'm going to be able to receive what you say so much more.
So I think that hearing of the self is so impactful, not just for emotional processing and attunement, but because once you hear yourself first, that inner self is then going to be open. To hear what you have to say back. Sure, sure. And actually able to receive it.
Kelly Schmidt: Yeah, and take it in and maybe make the shift from there.
n our lives. But the reality [:There are expectations. Like I was a kid and I needed more than, and kids deserve a lot. But now I'm an adult and I need to get it together. What would you say to that?
Leigh Ann: Well, I'd say first, why does being an adult mean we deserve less? Attention and care. That's a great start.
Kelly Schmidt: Yeah.
Leigh Ann: There's some sentiment there of like, well, now that you're an adult and you can control your emotions, you should, you should just get a grip on it.
l this thing coming up right [:And I think that, that is that emotional maturity of being able to go, I'm not going to let my emotions steer the ship. Yeah. But that doesn't mean that I shouldn't later come back and be really, really intentional about making that space. Right. to see, hear, respond to what's coming up.
Kelly Schmidt: And I almost wonder if by doing that it allows for more calm in the moment, you know, when you might be really activated.
If you actually like take a couple seconds to say, okay, I hear you later. We will promise. I wonder if that really does give a little, just the tiniest bit of relief that you can kind of, you know, press forward with whatever you need to do, um, in the moment.
ike, Oh my God, just get rid [:Just let go. Come on, move on. You need to focus. The heaviness lingers. And then, whatever it is, if I'm trying to do a podcast interview, that whole hour is like such, sometimes there's so much conscious effort that has to go into staying present and not letting that heaviness drag me down versus when I gently dialogue with that self really quickly.
And go, Hey, I see you, I want to hear you and I promise I'm going to make space for this later. It's sort of like, then it really can just flow right on through.
Kelly Schmidt: Yeah.
Leigh Ann: And then you come, you come to it later. So yeah. As long as you do right. Otherwise you do. And that, that also is so important in maintaining that trust and safety with yourself, right?
Is that you will follow through.
own. Um, you're more able to [:Leigh Ann: It becomes more and more soothing because there is more and more trust. Yes. Yes. Your inner self is like, Oh, you know what? The last 20 times this has happened, she really has come back to me. Yeah. So I believe her. So I believe, yeah, totally.
Kelly Schmidt: I'm going to take all of that to heart. Uh, I don't know about anyone listening, but I'm sure we can all resonate with, uh, with this experience.
And I think that's a really actionable exercise that we could all kind of take with us. That's amazing.
Leigh Ann: So with that said though, I think a part of coming into this new year, especially like January, February, this winter, I, it feels good to actually feel ready to go. And now I'm ready to excavate. Now I'm ready to look at some of this stuff deeply.
our point, like open up this [:Foolish of me to try to sit there and process that box of stuff when there's holes in my ship.
Kelly Schmidt: Yeah.
Leigh Ann: Oh, yeah. Yeah. I just say that because I'm, I'm weirdly excited. I mean, you know, I get so excited for this work because I know that on the other side of it, even though it's so hard and it's confronting and scary and heavy and painful at times, I know on the other side of it is so much peace.
And so much clarity and so much more alignment. And so, but it, so with that said, it just feels good to feel ready to excavate. Yeah, I was going to say, you must
ef is not linear as we know, [:You're not forcing anything. This is the right time. That must feel like a huge, it must feel like an accomplishment. It must feel like, wow, I did it. I got through and I'm, I'm continuing to move through.
Leigh Ann: Yeah. Yeah. It, it really does. And, and I, for me, it's so cool to look back because the me from even three years ago, I think would not have been able to make it through that time.
Like. everything would have come crumbling down. And so I look back at the me from three years ago, two years ago, a year ago, who was so committed to doing the work because that work built such a strong foundation so that when devastation happened, the foundation I was standing on was so strong that it didn't, I didn't, you know, jump ship and end up.
he open waters. I still have [:Kelly Schmidt: yeah, it's a big deal. Good on you. It is. It is. I mean, of course I wouldn't wish it for anyone, right? Like we don't wish for ourselves an opportunity to prove that we've done the work, uh, ever, but, uh, when it does come, uh, what an amazing feeling to see all of that effort and intentionality bring fruit and light
Leigh Ann: to your life.
Yeah. And then you take that as that motivation to keep leaning in, in future stuff, right? I have now proof that that work leads to so many amazing positive outcomes. And so now I find myself here, like, at the start of another road of deep processing and excavating and knowing, Oh my gosh, the Leanne six months from now is going to look back and be so damn grateful.
, and I've already done that [:Kelly Schmidt: Yeah.
Leigh Ann: So worth it. Yep. Okay. So pivoting a little bit, there's two other things I want to talk about. Maybe I'll go to the sound bath first.
Cause this was also again, just, it's so fun to observe ourselves. And I feel like I'm constantly in this back and forth of living it and then observing it almost like I'm a third person watching myself and going. That's so interesting that Leanne responded that way to that thing. Um, what is that about?
What might be going on here? And then I'm actively in it, experiencing it. It's amazing. So I had, you know, I'm sure a lot of the audience knows I hosted that private sound bath for all of my clients and community, and it was amazing. It was beautiful. Lindsay is such an amazing facilitator with the sound baths and the singing.
people showed up, which [:It was amazing. I left from there to drive out to Corona for Christmas. So I had like an hour drive to myself. As soon as that sound bath finished, I cried the whole way home, the whole way home. And I want to talk about like the reflections and the insight came out of that because I had an hour to really sit with it and go.
n like two minutes because I [:We need to talk to Lindsay about this. And, and so after the event ended, I found myself feeling really disheartened and really like, Oh my God, people are going to think I was ignoring them. I just was spiraling. I was totally spiraling after that, like totally. Casting a shadow over such an amazing event.
And even as that was happening, I was like, Oh, you are totally upper limiting right now. This was such an amazing experience. You are on cloud nine. People were so thrilled to be there. Wanting to take pictures with me and telling me how much I've changed their life. And I think that was just so much goodness that it was really hard to receive that.
hat, and this is why I think [:Oh my God, I ruined it. People are going to be so mad that I didn't talk to them enough. They're going to be so disappointed. I totally let everyone down and I just let that stream of consciousness go. And I cried about that for a good long while. But then once that, that started to settle, what really surfaced beneath that was I am so blown away.
That 40 people would want to show up. And by the way, half more than half of my clients are remote. So there's a good chunk of people who couldn't have even gone even if they wanted to. And what really surfaced out of that for me was super profound because I realized two huge things. One, this is what I've been dreaming of for years.
Ever since I launched my [:And yet that has been one of those things that feels like an Everest for me of just, I don't know how I am going to achieve that. Yeah. So to be there and see all these 40 people and they were all engaging with each other and talking to each other and making connections. And I had some of the other practitioners who were there say, Oh my gosh, we've done so many events and these are really special people.
osh, yes, this, these are my [:Right. And then kind of to that end, this is going back even further, right? Since I was a little, little kid. Absolutely. Always, always dreaming of changing lives and making positive impact. And for most of my life, that felt like something far away further down the path of like, I just, I just can't wait to get there.
. I'm in it. It's happening. [:Is starting to come to fruition. And that's not to say that the dream is now over. Like, no, it's just the beginning. There's so many more places I want to go with this, but that was the first time actually, I think since launching my business and first time in my whole life where I was like, Oh my God, the dream is no longer some far off distant destination.
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to so many different toxins [:Kelly Schmidt: Yeah, it's like it lit a new little flame You know, kind of starting to burn in a new way that you're like, okay, and now we're bringing this to life and it's happening and I can breathe oxygen into that flame.
And it's really becoming something which is magical to see. I almost wonder if your first reaction was almost like the, the ego part. That's like, but they came and I organized this. And what happens if I'm not there for everybody? Um, because that is my work. Right. And then. Of course, you know, they're there for a variety of reasons.
nector, um, Leanne. But then [:And so, um, it sounds like that, all of that alchemy just kind of like, really, well, it sounds like it was pretty overwhelming, obviously. Um, but you kind of moved through that from like, it's all on me to like, it's not all on me. It's actually, Something we are co creating together. These are my, my beautiful people and community, and I have more energy and passion for it than ever.
Leigh Ann: Yeah, totally. I mean, to that point of the ego, the thought beneath the thought was I, I didn't spend enough time with each person and. They're gonna then like, reject me or abandon me Right. Because
h every person there just is [:She has done so much for me. You know, it's so funny that like the stories we tell ourselves, um, yeah. In the moment. And of course like the pressure. Makes makes total sense just even for how much you show up for your clients It totally does but look at kind of the magic that happened even though you weren't You know kind of the one for every person there you held the space you created the magic And you kind of manifested the exact kind of community you've always wanted.
That's a miracle
Leigh Ann: Yeah, and it just Wow, I can't tell you The depth of the joy and the relief of like, Oh, yeah, because when you have a dream, there's always a party that's like, but what if it never happens? Yep. And so I, there was that part of me that I think in that moment was just like, Oh my God, it happened.
It's happening [:Kelly Schmidt: Oh, totally. Yeah. Yeah. Because I mean, I think that makes, um, perfect sense. And also to be emotionally overwhelmed, like maybe at first you're just like, I'm feeling a lot of things and I'm not even sure like why or where that happened, but it's pretty incredible to bring 40 people together around kind of a common shared thread.
e's a little glimmer for you.[:Leigh Ann: Yeah. A thousand percent. I mean, it was. It's such a gift for me. I don't think the people who attended even know how much that did for me to see them all there coming together. Yeah. It was so, so, so special and powerful. And now it's just, and I can receive that.
Kelly Schmidt: Yeah. That's a huge one.
Leigh Ann: Yeah. That's a huge one.
Okay. The other thing we're kind of bouncing all over, but it's just fun to share some of the, the takeaways is I, so this is like, so completely random and off topic of everything we were talking about, but it was such an interesting experience for me observing myself because I would say over the last year and a half, maybe even two years, I started to have this fear of flying.
n the turbulence hits, I get [:experience that before in my life. And so just last year, I was flying, I was flying to Canada, um, in November. And again, like sitting in the turbulence, so uncomfortable, so afraid, starting to have thoughts of like, I don't know if I want to fly anymore. And Um, in that, in that exact moment, I was like, okay, no, I'm going to figure this out.
I need to workshop this. I know this is not how I have always existed and I know there's something causing it. And if I workshop it and sit with it, I'm going to get to the root of this and be able to not live with this fear of flying for the rest of my life. That's too much. So literally on this flight to Canada, I'm.
ing there like in the middle [:I'd be like, yeah, well the plane could crash and if I died, that's okay. So then when I went beneath that deeper, okay, so why, why wasn't I afraid to die then? But now I am. That took me to what I think was the meat and potatoes of this, which is, well, I think before I really felt like I was living in my fullest capacity, in my deepest fulfillment, living to my fullest potential.
to was honestly this feeling [:And that's not even about like what's being achieved or how much money I'm making. It really just is about like, I know I have more within me. And and so really, I think what that boiled down to for me was if I were to die right now. I'd be really disappointed of like, ah, but I didn't, some of these things didn't happen.
And it's not because I was giving 110 percent and making headway on them. It's because I wasn't making any headway on them. And you know what was crazy is like the fear of the turbulence vanished completely.
Kelly Schmidt: In that moment. Pretty wild.
Leigh Ann: It's pretty [:Being able to identify, Oh, this, this is about a fear of dying and the fear of dying really rooted in feeling, um, dissatisfied with if I were to die right now, I would be dissatisfied because I am not living to my fullest potential.
Kelly Schmidt: And
Leigh Ann: that really is like my biggest fear. in life is to be on my deathbed and go, like, I could have given a lot more.
Yeah. Um, and therefore like created and Done a lot more. I think it's that I can have peace with, right? If I'm giving 110 percent and making headway sure I die before I achieve some of these things I know though. I'll still have peace of like, well, I did everything I could right? But when I'm not in the back of your mind, I'm not doing everything I could.
Yes.
Kelly Schmidt: Oh,
Leigh Ann: I don't know Yeah, really hard.
I mean I resonate I think a [:I think in my twenties, I was just a little less engaged with life. I was less like present to my own experience of it. Um, a little bit. Less paying attention to the voice in my head, my inner self, my subconscious, as you well know, um, but, uh, you know, I've come to you to get in tune with my subconscious and that has really brought a lot of new thoughts and sometimes new fears to the table.
he California freeways for a [:And I think I came to a very similar conclusion that I felt there was like something missing in my human experience that I had not achieved yet. And if I didn't ever find out what that was, it would be a big loss. Um, and I think it's something I still think about from time to time and also the fears will still pop up here and there, but I can always trace it back to that.
hink this, like, fear of the [:Or could you see yourself kind of having to have this conversation internally again?
Leigh Ann: We'll see. You know, that was my flight going to Canada. The flight coming back, I didn't have any issues at all.
Kelly Schmidt: Okay.
Leigh Ann: And I haven't had any issues since. Yeah. So we'll see. But, but also at the same time, and I think this is partly why the reflection is so powerful is if it does show up again, now I'm going to know immediately what that's about.
Yeah. Or at least. In part, what that could be about and go, Oh, am I feeling unfulfilled? Am I feeling like I'm not living my fullest potential? Yeah. And so now it's almost like a cue and that a cue to my brain of, Mm, here's what might be off for me if I do start experiencing it again. But, um, I think that's so much more empowering because, I mean, what a horrible feeling for me.
all of a sudden terrified of [:I love to travel. I fly very often and I'm not even 30 yet. So the rest of my life, I'm going to be dealing with that. And what a horrible thought, like what a really, really sad, heavy thought to be in. And so that reminder of, first of all, your brain isn't trying to sabotage you. In fact, it's only ever trying to communicate.
en me and Leanne, between my [:Right. So I, what do I need to do to repair that? That's not to say that that's something that causes a rift for everyone.
Kelly Schmidt: True.
Leigh Ann: Uh, it was for me, but I just think how, how much more empowering it is to approach those things in that way, rather than. Well, my mind's just suddenly turned on me. And now I have this fear of flying that I guess I'll have to deal with the rest of my life, but going, what is this about?
What is the deeper message or communication here? Because my subconscious is only ever trying to protect me from the place of like deepest love.
of it, you're just having an [:Um, it starts to take root, you know, and kind of grow, uh, legs in, in your mind. I think that people end up with, you know, deeply ingrained. lifelong phobia is just because maybe that initial point where it popped up, like nothing really happened. Right? We just said like, Oh, okay, I'm frozen. And maybe we didn't have the tools, right?
Or the, the knowledge or the know how of how to kind of walk ourselves through it the way you did. Um, but yeah, I do agree. I feel like
Leigh Ann: I think that's a really good point. Yeah. Because what happens is like when I work with people who have experienced panic attacks, now we have to workshop, not just the panic attacks and what's causing that, but then the fear and the hyper vigilance that comes in.
c attack, but I'm so anxious [:Kelly Schmidt: Oh yeah,
Leigh Ann: totally. I agree that the sooner we can jump on these things, the better because it can, it can become a, a bigger issue with more legs that need to be workshopped. And also with that said, it doesn't mean those can't be workshopped. It starts to, you know, become a bigger beast, the longer, the longer.
om the things that burden us.[:Leigh Ann: A thousand percent and just there is so much more peace and joy and alignment available to us than I think we oftentimes even believe we, I think when we have a lot of anxiousness or fear or sadness that is around us all the time, it becomes normal even though it's not. And so that reminder of no, that's actually not how our days have to be where there's just always this heaviness lingering or this subtle panic in the background.
That is not how your day to day has to be. Your baseline can be joy and peace and confidence and lightness. Um, and so if that's not what you're experiencing. Yes, no, no, that that is not what your day to day needs to be. It can be so different, but it's not just going to happen
Kelly Schmidt: magically.
e biggest thing here is, um, [:What's not looked at just builds really.
Kelly Schmidt: And I think to piggyback on that, it's. It's not entirely based on your circumstances either. And I think that's a place I particularly have gotten hung up over the years. Like I can't have ease and joy and peace unless my circumstances line up just so. Um, and I think a lot of people, not just me, Leanne, other people feel that way too.
And I think it's an important kind of note here that. Um, there is a path to finding that peace and ease despite what might be kind of swirling around you.
Leigh Ann: Yeah. I mean, such a good point because, right, oftentimes the narrative beneath that, what I hear in that is an unconscious belief of, well, I can't have joy until.
ing really painful or really [:All the time. Now, is it true that if this thing were to change in my life, I could have access to more joy? Absolutely. Pursue the thing. But we don't want that narrative to our inner self to be, yeah, sorry. Just there's no joy for you until you. Make this much money or until you have this type of relationship or this job or live in this place It needs to be I have access to those things now And as I create more alignment as I unburden more of this stuff That's holding me down.
I'll have access to even more of that
think like, Oh, this is just [:The joyful nuggets that could be noticed and found are, I have like blinders onto them. Uh huh. A hundred percent. It's so sad. I mean, think about how much joy has just existed. around us and we're just blinders not paying attention, choosing to not allow joy into what may be very painful or challenging circumstances, but could be maybe a tad lighter, maybe, uh, have like little glimmers of hope in them.
And we actively turn away from them. Why do we do that?
Leigh Ann: Well, that that's unconscious bias, right? Where the subconscious is only ever trying to prove itself, right? So if you have, and then this starts to become self fulfilling prophecy and I'll, of. Like give that example based on what you just said. If I have a belief in my unconscious that I cannot be happy until blank, that is going to impact me in two ways.
's going to impact what I am [:There are moments of joy available to you, but your, your brain truly is not registering them because of this belief. The brain will go, Ooh, that doesn't match with this belief that I can't have joy yet. So I'm not going to take that in. I'm not going to receive that and like categorize that and really sit with it.
cause I believe it. And I am [:Kelly Schmidt: And I will speak from personal experience here, it is so hard to dislodge it.
You know, the, the longer it goes on, the harder it is to break out of that. So yeah,
Leigh Ann: yeah. It's actually a really great sign. To observe what is it? What do I find? What are the types of people, the types of experiences I feel I am attracting in or I am experiencing a lot of and vice versa. What is it that I want?
can't seem to get enough of [:Kelly Schmidt: That's a really valid point that I think we should all journal on tonight. Like, what are we seeing pop up in our lives on repeat that maybe we're like, why is this happening? And ding, ding, like that's right where the work is.
Leigh Ann: Completely. Yeah. Cause it's not, it's not just random, right? If you're like, why, why is this now the fifth boss in a row who treats me this way?
And it could be really easy to go, God, I'm just, I'm just a victim. I'm so unlucky. I can't believe I keep randomly getting bosses like this. And that's not to say that you're also fully responsible for that, but there can be something interesting there. I'm always about taking ownership. How might I be impacting this?
unconsciously keep choosing [:Kelly Schmidt: choose a dynamic with, you know, the best of intentions. It turns out to be one way and I don't make the choice.
to leave or to make a shift. I think that is the one that happens probably most commonly for people. It's like, we're not, maybe we're not intentionally, you know, you don't know what, what boss is going to show up or what scenario might be in front of you. And certainly there are things we attract, but I think there's a good chunk of things that maybe we in good faith walk into, but we do not in good faith walk out of.
We do. You know, and I, I think that's where the limiting belief really comes in. That's like, Oh no, no, no. There you don't get to make another choice. You don't get to risk it. You don't get to make a change. This is just your bed. And now you lay in it.
Leigh Ann: Yeah. Yeah. Well, completely. Right. And that's so often how the limiting belief shows up.
se something sometimes? Yes. [:Once that is there.
Kelly Schmidt: Yeah. Totally. Yeah. Oh,
Leigh Ann: this was good. I
I loved it. Very, very good.:Um, you know, you're going to be doing more thinking and personal excavating, and I'm sure we'll chat more in February and March, but this was a really fun little look back on, on the year and what you've come through. You've been so brave. Oh, thank you. Yes.
Leigh Ann: [:And thank you so much for helping facilitate this conversation. Always, always here.
