In this episode we meet Henry who was commuting to work on his motorbike when he was involved in a crash with an SUV that left him having to make a decision about whether or not to have his leg amputated. We also hear from Mr Paul Harwood who is a Consultant Trauma and Orthopaedic Surgeon at Leeds Major Trauma Centre and Limb Reconstruction Unit. You can find out more about the work of the Leeds Major Trauma Centre here as well as more about the incredible work of Day One Trauma Support,

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Views and experiences shared in this podcast belong to the individuals and do not constitute medical advice. For medical advice please contact your pharmacist, GP or dial 111. In an emergency please dial 999.

This podcast was recorded and produced by Under the Mast– creative audio productions and was presented by Caroline Verdon

My leg was, felt like it was on fire.

I picked it up and it flopped like it was made of jelly.

True trauma tales, treating life changing injuries

at the Leeds Major Trauma Centre.

I had someone trying to put pressure on my ankle and I

remember looking at her and she had this panic in her eyes because

it wasn't stopping bleeding.

That was the only word I really heard, was amputation.

I just freaked out.

I remember saying that they're gonna take my foot, they're

gonna, they're gonna take my foot.

Hello and welcome to True Trauma Tales.

This is the podcast where we tell the stories of six people who were

treated at Leeds Major Trauma Centre following life changing accidents and

in this episode we meet Henry who was on his way to work on his motorbike

when he was involved in a car crash.

As well as hearing from him we also speak to Mr Paul Harwood who was Henry's

consultant trauma and orthopedic surgeon.

I was living Halifax and I just got a job.

Uh, at least city center working in the IT industry.

I'd worked in IT for about 15 years prior to that.

And I've been working my way up, managed to get this job.

And I've been commuting for the first couple of days on my motorbike.

And on the fourth day, beautiful day, clear as anything, nice

and warm in back end of June.

And I was going through on the A58 through Wyke.

And the speed limit had just changed from a 30 to a 40, and I'm still

doing just about 30 miles an hour.

And out of nowhere, an SUV pulled out in the side street.

I had just enough time to spot what was happening and say no,

no, no, no, no, about five times.

And that was that.

In the moment, I couldn't go behind the car because of the curb.

If I slammed the brake on, I would have gone straight into

the side of the car, which would have been, I think, a lot worse.

So I had to try and get around in front of it and hope that they'd spot me in time

enough to slam on and Uh, miss me, uh, they didn't, they didn't see me at all.

They actually sped up to pull out of the junction and hit me side on.

And my, my left foot was crushed between my engine and their engine.

I took the whole front of their car off and I rolled down the road.

But your brain does funny things.

The, that situation, and I like, I remember it all, but the moment of

impact, my brain went to slideshow.

I remember just a slide picture of bits of bonnet and bumper

and things flying in my face.

And the next, I've stopped rolling.

And I've, I've broken bones before, but this felt a lot different.

My leg was, felt like it was on fire.

I picked it up and it flopped like it was made of jelly.

So I thought, I'll just put that back down there, laid that back down on the

floor, and then there was this pool of blood that was getting bigger and bigger.

By this point, people have come over that were in the cars coming the other way.

And then it just got chaotic and you could see the fear on the people's faces.

I had someone trying to put pressure on my ankle and I remember looking at

her and she had this panic in her eyes because it wasn't stopping bleeding.

It didn't take long for the police and the paramedics to come and

control the scene and what not.

And once the paramedics were there.

Uh, everything got a lot calmer, strapped me all up, cut everything

off me as they do, and, uh, got me in the back of the ambulance.

But the paramedics were out of this world, they were next level.

If I remember rightly, he was, he was ex military, the main

paramedic that was treating me, and he was very good at treating me.

calming the situation, calming me down, and talking me through

what was going on and whatnot.

So, I'm very thankful for him being there.

And then, I vaguely remember getting to the hospital and thanking them as

they left me in a room full of people.

Then, that's when it goes all blurry, because they've obviously

put me under anaesthetic and put me to sleep to poke around all

that was left of my foot, really.

Were you in pain at that point in time?

Were you aware of the severity?

Uh, I knew something was very wrong.

Like I said, I've broken bones before.

You can't feel a break, really.

It's more the shock that sets in.

This was hot, fiery pain.

So I knew that it was a lot worse than any, anything that I'd ever done before.

So, yeah, I was very aware that something was bad, but I didn't

quite know to what extent.

And how long did it take for you you to then come

around and them to explain and you to be able to digest the situation.

So, after getting to the hospital, then being put to sleep,

they woke me up to Uh, to, to tell me what, what was going on, basically.

And I remember coming to, Mr.

Harwood was standing over me with another doctor.

He referred to him as his boss at the time.

And all I really took was amputation.

That was the only word I really heard.

I just freaked out.

You would, and I remember saying that they're gonna take my foot.

They're gonna, they're gonna, they're gonna take my foot.

And so because I was panicking, they, they said, what we'll do is we'll,

we'll, we'll make it structurally sound.

We'll get it.

We'll get it right to give you a little bit of time to process what's

going on and what your options are.

But he said, I, I will, I am going to have to go in and poke around, so

we're going to put you back to sleep.

I remember then I came to like on the ward in, in, in the bed

and I'd been in for surgery.

And they, what they'd done is to reinforce my leg there.

They put like scaffolding frame down one side to with pins to hold it all in place.

And that was basically so that I had enough time to.

Talk to the, talk to Mr.

Harwood, talk to the nurses, figure out a plan of what, what we wanted to

do, whether I wanted to keep it and try and save it or have it amputated.

Because it's such a, it must be such an astonishing thing to

take in, to, to think that three, four hours previously you were just on your

way to work and you had your day planned out ahead of you with things that you

were going to be doing and getting up to.

Um, All of a sudden you're being asked these huge, life changing questions

and it must have been extremely difficult to digest and just understand.

It's, it's, it's very messy.

Emotionally, physically, mentally, it's, you're all over the place.

Even the anesthetic from being in surgery, it confuses you for days.

It stays in your system for about two weeks.

So you're, you, after afterwards, your brains are just all over the

place and you get all emotional for no reason and stuff like that, all

that adds to the effect of finding all these, horrible things out, really.

Mr Paul Hardcastle: So it's really hard.

And I'm never sure from a patient perspective, how early

to introduce that concept.

So in Henry's case, this was a decision that we came to together.

There are some people who they don't have an option.

Some of the really severe injuries are not reconstructable, but one thing that

we've learned over the years, and it's not just our experience, it's other places of.

Collective experiences that for some people, whilst you can save a lip, what

you save isn't worth having, if that doesn't sound too harsh and is actually

more troublesome and people that have less function and more pain and are able to

do less and it's, which will complicate and that treatment is much longer than

actually a really good outcome from an amputation will almost always be better.

And so I always think it's good to try and introduce that.

Early, I do wonder if sometimes we get a bit overenthusiastic and whether it's

better to let the dust settle slightly before Henry's got a whimsical smile.

Yeah, don't hit me with that sledgehammer at the doorway.

But we try to introduce it early and talk about it as a treatment option

rather than thinking of it as failure of other things, if that makes sense.

So, traditionally, it often gets thought of as a last resort and it was,

it's only what you would choose if.

everything else has failed.

Whereas for a lot of people, it's a good option.

Instead of going down those very complicated treatment pathways, which

at the end of the day, often have high complication rates and high failure rates.

Henry, how did you come to make your decision?

So initially, I didn't like the idea of it at all.

I really freaked out with the whole idea.

But going back to what you're saying, it was good, I think,

to have that put into your head.

early.

So that is actually something that would be an option.

But I didn't have I didn't have that many options.

Really.

It was a mess.

It was a mess.

Yeah, it wouldn't have been a good idea to salvage it going through with

you about what you'd have to do to salvage it, especially sounded horrific.

Yeah.

And then I actually got visited by somebody from day one,

the peer support volunteer.

His name was Bob.

He was an amputee.

He tried to salvage his leg.

Cause he was in a crash.

He tried to salvage his leg for seven years.

And had infection after infection and had it amputated and was a lot

happier functioning a lot better to be able to do more stuff and get

out and about on his prosthetic.

And so that kind of helped me to actually say yes to do it was the, it was

actually verbally saying it, which was my major hurdle that I had to get over.

Um, I just couldn't do it and that just allowed me to go, okay, let's do it.

Mr Paul Hardcastle: I think is a great thing, which I know you now contribute to.

I think the ability to talk to someone, cause I can say what I

like, but I have never lived through that and the authenticity of someone

who's been through all of this, speaking to a patient, I think.

is really powerful.

And then we try to get people from the rehab, the amputation

rehabilitation service to come.

And I think we managed to get one of the physios to talk to you from that service.

We have a really fantastic group of clinical psychologists who can come

and it's not so much about counseling.

I think to make you feel better about it, it's about trying to help you make

a decision and understand how you're processing things and help you with that.

And we know that patients who.

Engage with that and we allow them to engage with that by giving them time.

Do cope much better.

with the event and then they do in rehab faster and improve better.

And I know, I do remember you had a real wobble the day afterwards, wasn't it?

Is it suddenly all crashed onto you?

And then you just picked up and went from there, I think was my sort of

recollection after the actual amputation.

Yeah.

So it was a shock to the system.

I remember coming to after the amputation surgery and I couldn't look at it.

Yeah.

Uh, I couldn't look at it.

All, all I could do was cry.

Anesthetic doesn't help with the, with what it does to you.

And, and then one, once got myself together a little bit, they were taking

me back up to the ward and a porter picked up my oxygen tank and he put it

on the bed where my leg would have been.

Mr Paul Hardcastle: Yeah.

Lost it.

It, I couldn't, my brain couldn't comprehend like what that, the feeling

of nothing being there where you put the bottle, obviously it's, it's

nothing This is their every day.

So they're not really thinking like that, but it was such a shock to the system.

But yeah, it took me, it took me a long time to, to get my head around it.

I didn't sleep at all.

All night was just crying and trying to get my head around it.

And I just couldn't look at it.

And the next day I was exhausted because I hadn't slept.

So they put me in a, they put me in my own private room just to get some quiet.

Cause you've got alarms going off on the show.

Mr Paul Hardcastle: Oh, it's a terrible environment, isn't it?

It's designed to stop you sleeping, isn't it?

Yeah, and every time, every Like, I've tried meditating

to try and calm my Calm my heart and my mind down a little bit.

But every time I relaxed and my heart rate got lower, my alarms went off.

So that would freak me out again.

And then set you off again.

And then it'd go too high.

And then the alarms had got, it was just a constant battle of alarms.

It was a nightmare.

And at a point as well, where I imagine you must have been

extremely aware of your own mortality.

Yeah.

Just, it completely changes the way you think about everything

and take everything for granted.

So how did

you come to terms?

Was it time?

Was it a combination of different people, seeing Louise, the therapist?

I just talked to everyone, anyone who'd listen, really.

I just whitter at everybody and it wasn't to get people's opinions.

It was just to get what I was thinking out.

Help me to help me process it really.

So just talking to people and then I dunno, I just went, it's gone now.

There's nothing to do about it.

So it was like once, once I got a wheelchair.

And I'd actually got out of the bed for the first time in weeks.

I was like, Oh, okay, let's, let's read it.

There is a world out there

Mr Paul Hardcastle: still, isn't there?

Yeah,

it's really says, I mean, I remember it was the, it was one of the

hottest summers we'd ever had, I think.

Mr Paul Hardcastle: Yeah, it was crazy.

Wasn't it?

I'd missed all the really hot weather from just sitting behind

this glass and this ward and just to get the wheelchair and be able

to go outside and get some fresh air that alone was a massive help.

Yeah.

And I think it's easy to look at things and say,

brilliant, you've had the operation now and that must be the hard bit over.

But a lot of people that we've spoken to have said that's almost

looking back in the easy part.

The work starts then, doesn't it, I think.

That would fall out of my hands, really.

Yeah.

But then comes the legal side of things.

Yeah.

Learning how you're going to have to change your life and do everything

differently for the first few months, just getting up, making a cup of tea.

It is a bit of a mission.

You've got crutches and wheelchairs to deal with and all your processes that you

do regularly, just completely different.

So you've got to re accept everything and figure out new ways of living normally.

And that's a massive thing, putting the legal side on top of that as well.

And it's a nightmare.

Yeah, a time when your brain is really not ready for documents

and hearings and all the rest of it.

How long did you stay in hospital for before you were

able to actually make it home?

And what sort of adaptations, if any, did you need when you went home?

So I was, I was on, I was in the hospital for 15 days.

Um, and my house was not appropriate to be on crutches or in a wheelchair.

You couldn't turn the wheelchair around in the hallway from the edge.

You had to go back and forwards.

I had to get out of the wheelchair to get on the sofa because you

couldn't fit it between the chairs to get in the front room.

They wanted me to sleep downstairs.

It wasn't appropriate.

And I wanted to go upstairs to bed.

I didn't want to change that routine.

And so I didn't change anything.

I just thought I'll leave everything exactly how it is and then

learn to cope with it and find different ways of doing things.

And I think that was a lot easier than, Actually making the adaptations.

Do you think that helped your mindframe as well?

Your mindset?

In the long run, possibly.

Um, I've worked in it.

I've always been a bit of a problem solver.

Um, and every day would chuck a new problem at you.

Um, so it, it, it, it, it.

I think it did help.

I'm a bit stubborn as well.

So that's,

Mr Paul Hardcastle: I think that really helps to be honest.

And were there things that you had on like a list of this

is, I cannot wait until I can achieve this, or I want to try and see if

I can do whatever, whether that was something new or whether that was

something that you had done previously.

I, I really wanted to get back to driving because I was just cooped up.

I'd only moved to Halifax for work and I was just stuck in this box of a room.

I couldn't go anywhere.

So I had to wean myself off.

all the, the opiates and things to, so that I could get back to

driving as quickly as possible.

But then you've got the whole legal side of it that was still, that's

going on, that stops you from getting behind the wheel and things like that.

But again, back to driving was a big goal and that luckily

that happened quite quickly.

But, and

what did that feel like?

I,

it's just, it's freedom.

It's new freedom again.

It was, it was fantastic just to get out of my house that didn't

involve being taken by someone.

And you get a little bit of independence that even if it's just simply driving

and then coming home again, it's, you're not actually going anywhere, but, but

yeah, no, it was that feeling that

Mr Paul Hardcastle: you can, I think, isn't it?

The loss of independence, I think is something.

Patients really feel whatever treatment they select.

And you take it for granted, don't you?

I think that you're like, I can leave here now and go where I want.

I can go, I want to go here.

go there.

I might not do, but I can.

And that fee, I think you feel quite trapped.

Don't you?

I get that a lot from patients that it's a massive step once they can do that.

Cause it, because it's so dependent on other people for things, quite.

But it's quite frightening, I think.

I still have that a little bit.

I still take it for granted because I'll get, I might get

skin irritation or a blister.

Yep.

Can't put my prosthetic on and I'm back into being on crutches in a wheelchair

and then everything's gone back to being really awkward and annoying.

And then that's two, probably two weeks of where I'll just go, I

can't do anything for two weeks.

That

must be really hard, that constant back and

forth and back and forth.

It's, yeah, it's something I try and I don't really think about because

I don't, I don't like thinking about it.

And then all of a sudden it'll happen and I'll just, I get, because I've not thought

about it, it gets, I get really irritated, but it's always going to be there.

It's never, I'm always going to have weeks where I can't

put my leg on due to something.

And when it comes to prosthetics, what are the

conversations that are had and what are the options that you were given?

Um,

You pretty much, you get one for every day sort of use.

Privately, I've got, through the case, my, my leg that I wear most

of the time, to be honest, but it's my pimp leg, I train on it.

Um, that's quite rigid and it has a bit of a shock absorber in the middle that

allows me to box, allows me to weight train comfortably and things like that.

But then I've got a, I've got a walking leg that has, it's got an

electronic ankle, so it detects when your knee goes over your toe.

And it propels you forward like a foot would.

So I've got that for walking around on, which it does help,

but it has its downsides.

It's incredibly heavy.

Battery goes, you can't just dragging it around.

They're very expensive.

A new set of batteries, a pair of batteries is two and a half grand.

So it's.

And obviously they're only under warranty for a few years.

So it's not a financially viable option for the majority of people.

I probably won't end up with another one, but it, it's, it

depends what works for you.

I've the NHS one that I'm working on.

They're working on one that's a different system.

So it's a pin lock system so that it allows me to bend my knee.

Like 90 degrees because I'm on a suction system that involves

rubber sleeves around my knee.

So I can't bend my knee very much, which causes issues.

If I have to sit in tight chairs or if the back of the chair is too close

to you, if I have to get on a plane or public transport, it's really awkward.

Uh, I can't cycle because I can't bend my knee enough.

So that's what they're working on with me.

And it, it seems to be working quite well.

Through.

My private prosthetic center, I actually went on a day where we went skiing,

Chill Factory in Manchester, they take your prosthetic foot off your socket and

they put on a specially designed snow foot that clips directly into your ski.

So you've got one, one boot, one foot.

One that clips straight into the ski and that's actually got

a shock absorber in the ankles.

It was the first time I've actually had the sensation of

bending my foot since I lost it.

So that means you've got, the options are pretty much endless.

It's just who's going to pay for it at the end of the day.

And so what does your future look like for you?

That's a good question.

I don't know, to be honest.

I'm still trying to figure it out because the case is not long finished.

I'm trying to catch up, basically trying to figure out What I want to

do my career in it, that's pretty much gone unless I completely retrain

because of the way it progresses and new technologies are working.

And I don't think I want to work behind a desk again.

You, your priorities have changed after something like this so much

and me meaningless office work just doesn't really cut it for me anymore.

I don't know.

I'm doing, I'm doing volunteering with.

Day one traumas four.

We'll see where that goes that might that might end up with something more for me.

I don't know I'm, just trying to figure it out really

that's about all we have time for but thank you so

much for joining us If you want to find out more information about

anything you've heard today, you can find more details in our show notes