Speaker:
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YouMatter Song Lyrics: When
moving forward seems too much.
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When you feel totally out of touch,
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out the door, you find yourself.
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Curled on the floor.
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The thoughts swirl around
all jumbled and messed.
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Why is this brain so darkly obsessed?
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I've secrets.
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I've never confessed.
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Haven't told a soul,
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I'm depressed.
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A gentle whisper through the pain.
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Remember rainbows, follow,
rain breathe deeply.
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Hold on tight.
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Your hope will return shining bright.
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Embrace the now, release the past,
In forgiveness,, peace will last.
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You matter deeply, you're not alone,.
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Reach out.
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Let your strength be shown.
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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: My returning
guest today is David Amerland He's
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a writer who's focused on how human
behavior is shaped by modern forces,
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especially technology and how that shift
impacts our health culture and stories.
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After building a career in marketing
and publishing several successful
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business books, David Amerland expanded
into the wellness space with Built
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to Last, a practical Guide to Health,
longevity, and Intentional Living.
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The book immediately prior to
this was called Intentional.
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David is now also writing fiction
and exploring the emotional and
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psychological impact of modern
life through storytelling.
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I am thrilled to have David
as my returning guest.
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I know I always learn something new, and
this month is Men's Mental Health Month,
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which is why we are going to talk about
his book Built to Last and how men can
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specifically apply it to make things
better for them, to become more rounded,
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to be more vulnerable, to be more open.
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All the things that help you live
a balanced and healthy lifestyle.
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And so it's awesome to
present to you, David.
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Amerland.
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Good day.
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David Amerland: It's just a
pleasure to be here, I can tell you.
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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: It is wonderful
to have you here and I cannot think of
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anyone better to come on and speak to.
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, To me , it's like the whole person.
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This is men's Mental Health month,
and as such, I wanted to talk about
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men's mental health with some men
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okay, when I want to look deeper into
anything, David, you are the man I call.
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Okay.
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And that's deeper into my own psyche.
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That's deeper into search, that's deeper
into Google Plus, that's deeper into
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absolutely anything and everything.
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This, I will try not to embarrass you
too much, but I absolutely love you.
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The depths you go to in your subjects and
the breadth of what those subjects are,
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and you never fail to surprise and thrill
me with the information that you give us.
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So in light of it being Men's
Mental Health fund and very lately.
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You came out with your new book,
built it to Last, I thought.
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Well, here's a Marriage Made in Heaven.
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It says How to get stronger, healthier,
and happier at every stage of life.
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Now, this is of course for everyone,
but we're going to tailor our talk
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somewhat to men because I believe.
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Firmly that our mental health
really is dependent on our physical
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health and our emotional health,
and I know that you are the one who
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can speak to all of those things.
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So let's dive in.
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David Amerland: Okay.
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Where to begin from.
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Right.
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And you're absolutely right.
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The way we feel and the way we think.
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Is absolutely key to the way our bodies
and, and here's the reason for this.
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Feelings and thoughts tend to be kind
of immaterial in substantial things.
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We sort of have an idea, but
we can't really see them.
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We can't really grasp them or
sensational them, tend to be
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subjective to a large extent.
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However, nothing can ever
arise out of nothing.
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And the place where we
inhabit is the body.
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That body has substrate, it has
structure, it has cells, and it has
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networks, and it has neurochemicals,
and it has electro transmitters, it
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has neurotransmitters, and all those
things actually have a physical,
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existence, which is definitely measurable
and definitely makes itself felt.
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And out of the combination of those
sensations, we get our feelings primarily.
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And once we process those feelings,
those emotions, we get our thoughts.
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So if our home, if our body isn't
okay, then having the expectation
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that our feelings would be okay and
our thoughts are going to be okay is
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something which is a really tall order.
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So we always start with
the absolute basics.
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And , there's a saying which goes
back almost two and a half thousand
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years ago, mentioned grease, but they
said a sound mind in a sound body.
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And we sort of kind of accept it at face
value without questioning too deeply.
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But there's massive.
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Wisdom integrated into
that simple observation.
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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Absolutely.
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That's the basis
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of it.
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David Amerland: Yeah.
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Yeah,
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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: yeah.
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I, I'm just gonna interrupt you
here for one thing that a few, I
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don't know, a few times ago we were
talking, you were talking to me
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and explained that pain changes us.
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Completely.
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And that's absolutely true.
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And that's what led me when I started
reading your book, I was thinking,
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oh my God, that makes so much sense
that our emotions, our feelings, our
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the pain receptors, the dopamine,
all of that needs to have some kind
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of balance with our physical body.
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Because you're trying to walk
and there's a rock in your shoe.
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You can't concentrate, you
can't carry on a conversation.
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You can't walk properly because
you are focused on that pain
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from the rock in your shoe.
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It throws off everything else, and
that's a very simplistic example, but
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it does therefore make sense that.
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In the larger scheme of things when you
take, the long view, that only makes
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sense that all of those parts of us are
put together in a way that's balanced,
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that's functional, that's healthy, and I
don't think you can take mental health.
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Or physical health or emotional health
or even spiritual health and separate
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them and have you function properly.
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David Amerland: Absolutely.
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We can't.
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And the sad thing is, and this is an
obvious one, and we don't really think
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about it, we only talk about mental
health when things are already bad.
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We talk about physical health
when things begin to go wrong.
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And when everything's going relatively
okay without being necessarily, okay.
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Okay.
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We tend to ignore it.
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We tend to think, oh, it's gonna,
it's going to work itself out.
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And it doesn't.
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I mean, if you were an
athlete, for example, I.
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You'd have a physiotherapist and you
have a psychotherapist, and you have a
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coach, and you might have a dietician,
and all those people are there to
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make sure that when you push your
body and mind to the limit in order
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to increase your performance, then you
have to take specific steps to bring
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your body back down to baseline, to
get enough rest, enough refueling,
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enough repair, and then you have
to do the same thing for your mind.
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And we know that from a lead
performance and for the rest of
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us, we tend to ignore those things.
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We tend to think, oh, we'll manage, we
are okay because we're not breaking down.
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By the time we begin to feel that we're
breaking down, it's already too late.
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And this is the thing
we need to be aware of.
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I've discussed this with a friend before
who's, who teaches philosophy at one
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of the universities in Poland, and we
were saying that it's taken 6,000 years.
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To make sure that we have a civilization
that more or less guarantees
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your personal physical integrity.
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You're going to step outta your house.
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Nobody's going to attack you.
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We have encoded this into law.
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We have encoded into traditions.
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We have encoded into moral
structures, moral behavior.
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If by whatever sort of situation
you happen to be attacked, somebody
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will come to your aid because
that's the right thing to do in
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some way within their own capacity.
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But nobody's going to be left
unmoved because it's been encoded
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in so many different layers for so
long, and that's taken 6,000 years.
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But that's just the outside.
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Nobody thinks about what's
going on inside each person.
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We think it's okay to yell at somebody
because we are full of anger or
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full of stress, and we externalize
it and we don't think of the impact
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that will have on somebody else.
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We are gradually.
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And encouragingly in the 21st century,
beginning to talk openly about these
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things, about our feelings, about how
we're impacted by the external world,
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about how our behavior impacts others.
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So this is the first step, and we
need to accelerate things a little
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bit so it doesn't take another 6,000
years before we get to the stage
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where we feel that we are responsible
for the mental and psychological
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health of the people around us.
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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah, please,
let's not take another 6,000 years.
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But to that end, 'cause we're
talking about men's mental health.
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David Amerland: Yes.
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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: I think
for so long you were seeing men
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having, the silent killer, the widow
maker, all these heart problems and
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things, because traditionally men
don't talk about their feelings.
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And don't have emotions other
than anger and satisfaction.
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Everything else was by the wayside,
and it's not something we probably
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most people think about, but for so
many decades, that was always the fear.
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I think honestly, that's why
insurance came about because the.
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Head of the household.
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The ba, the breadwinner was always
at risk and we put 'em there
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because men were meant to be silent
and strong and like hydro poles.
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It just be there.
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David Amerland: You're correct.
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A hundred percent correct.
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This is a stereotype that came about
gradually, especially in the West, but
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it's a global phenomenon to some extent.
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Of the strong silent male, and
I'm not quite sure how it emerged,
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but it does as a huge disservice.
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And if we look in the past amongst,
warrior tribes and warrior cultures,
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males, the strongest Warriors.
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Warriors to be leaders to be,
they had a space where they went.
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Through rituals to get in
touch with their emotions.
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They went through stages and phases
where they bonded and they opened
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up with their fellow warriors.
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So it was never in the past.
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Even amongst warrior cultures,
the strong silent type, this
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is one of these stereotypical,
western constructs in my view.
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Primarily came through popular culture
because we like the lone government.
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We like the strong silent male, the
Rambo type that comes and does, restores
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justice, that kind of thing, which is
entertaining for sure, but it feeds into
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the stereotype which doesn't actually
conform or even represent the way that
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our internal world actually works.
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And this is the problem.
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So if you keep it all in, you
isolate yourself, you put yourself
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under tremendous pressure, you feel
victimized, which is where the anger
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comes from because you need to somehow
turn the tables so you don't live
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in an in, in a sort of, perpetually
toxic environment inside you due
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to the stress of feeling a victim.
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And none of those things actually serve
very well in terms of behavior of men.
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And we're talking about men
in this particular context.
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There is unfortunately precious
little guidance on how you
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should behave in a modern world.
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Beyond that, you shouldn't yell, you
shouldn't lose control of yourself.
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You shouldn't, other things you
shouldn't do, which we usually
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translate as being emotional.
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And yet if we look at some of the
elite soldiers in training, they're
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very emotional with their brothers.
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Fellow soldiers, they're very
open about this because that's
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where their strength is.
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They go on missions where
they fear for their life.
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They have uncertainty, they have
definitely feel high levels of anxiety,
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high levels of stress, and they're
acutely in touch with their emotions.
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They don't dump and down,
they don't ignore them.
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They don't not externalize them.
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They share them, and that's how
they actually grow stronger.
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If we don't address what we
feel, then it controls us and it
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controls the point where we lose
control of our general behavior.
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Our executive function is overruled,
and then we get into reactive mode,
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and then basically every decision
we make is going to be wrong.
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And that escalates, and
escalates, escalates until
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things become really critical.
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If we acknowledge our emotions, if we
are in touch with how we feel and that's
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negative, as well as positive emotions,
then that leads us into position strength
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because we become aware of our internal
world, and that's the first step to
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actually making decisions that are not
primarily ruled by reactive behavior.
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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: It's
really interesting because.
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That very, the very nature of elite
soldiers and people during the war and
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that are entrenched in other countries
and what have you, are so open and sharing
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with their brethren, with their troop or,
whatever they call that pack they are in.
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It'd be interesting to look at
why that became a locked cabinet.
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It's, it does not translate when you put
the soldier back in day-to-day society.
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Yes, they share with their brothers at
arms, but they don't share with their
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spouse or their children or their parents
or it's like it, it is put in a box and
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it is locked and only can be seen, felt
or discussed with those particular people.
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And that seems, is that too
a western construct where?
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To go along with the strong, silent
male as much as being an elite soldier.
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And, you discussed like little bits of
this in a sniper's mind because Yeah,
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you have to be fully aware of what's
around you and how you feel about it.
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David Amerland: It's an
interesting question you bring up.
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And the problem in that
particular context is compound.
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The first thing is that when
you take a soldier from.
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Active duty where he has experienced
all kind of stresses with people
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like him at the same level.
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And you put him into civilian life.
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Now there's a communication gap.
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Things get lost in translation,
he speaks a different language.
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There is no shared culture, so that
makes it really difficult to open up.
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And on top of this very real problem
is the perceived problem that everybody
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sees him as a soldier with whatever
cultural misconceptions that implies.
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They don't wanna see him cry.
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They don't wanna see him break down.
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They don't wanna see him weak.
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They see him as a hero
of some description.
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So suddenly that person, whether they
are aware or not, understands this
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perception, understands this expectation
and the need to live up to it.
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So then suddenly they find
themselves isolated, alone,
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unsupported, misunderstood.
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I.
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On top of that, expected to perform
to some kind of different standard.
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That's a recipe for disaster.
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It's miscommunication from all sides.
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It's, it's on us.
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We have to understand that we all do
different roles in different contexts.
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We can have highly
specialized training for that.
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And once we're outta that context,
we are just another human being.
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And human beings alone
are inherently vulnerable.
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We're not designed for that.
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We design to network connect,
find where we belong, and
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actually function as a community.
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And this is where we, especially in
21st century, where we still have a
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loneliness, epidemic, epidemic going
on, where we still haven't fully
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understood the importance of supporting
and building communities and the
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standards and values that come with that.
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This is where we are going
wrong at a fundamental level.
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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: It's so sad
when we really think about this because
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really we're all after the same thing.
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We wanna be connected, we want to
be seen, we wanna be heard, we want
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to be together, but by, in a way,
forcing the military person to.
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Put on one suit while they are active
and then to come into a completely
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different, world, like, let's be honest
and try to fit or take off your suit and
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then try to fit into this world that is.
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I would think for all intents and
purposes, when you come out of the
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theater of active duty, everything
just seems so mundane, so paltry, not
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no import, it's not life and death.
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00:20:42
And would it be maybe right or
on the right track to say that?
290
:
00:20:50
The, soup of hormones and dopamine
and adrenaline and all of those
291
:
00:20:55
things that you face on a daily
basis when you are serving.
292
:
00:21:02
Not having that in the real world then
forces you to find the real world.
293
:
00:21:12
Boring.
294
:
00:21:12
It's, beige, it's cardboard.
295
:
00:21:15
It's just so lacking and
that I think it's, yeah.
296
:
00:21:20
Boredom I think is the most
dangerous state to be in
297
:
00:21:27
David Amerland: it's interesting you
use the word boredom and essentially
298
:
00:21:29
boredom means lack of stimulus or
certainly a reduction in stimulus
299
:
00:21:32
that receive from the external world.
300
:
00:21:35
, We know for a fact that the people serving
in any capacity, even if they don't see
301
:
00:21:41
active duty, because of the constant task
orientated, very disciplined approach,
302
:
00:21:47
they have to, things have a different
baseline of arousal in their brain.
303
:
00:21:52
So when you put them into a problem,
their immediate go-to mode is to break
304
:
00:21:57
it down into tasks and tackle those
tasks in a sequence and bring about
305
:
00:22:02
the outcome that they expect to have.
306
:
00:22:04
And if they don't get the outcome,
they sort of tackle it again
307
:
00:22:06
and they do the same thing.
308
:
00:22:07
And, that essentially is , in a nutshell,
the kind of discipline that you get from
309
:
00:22:12
the military mindset where the whole
thing is that you are a problem solver,
310
:
00:22:17
some description, and you have to apply
that to the problems that you face.
311
:
00:22:22
We get into the non-military world
and things are a little bit looser.
312
:
00:22:29
The lack of focus is certainly
evident in that, you can
313
:
00:22:33
tackle several things at once.
314
:
00:22:34
Nothing seems of to be
of the same priority.
315
:
00:22:37
It's very hard to prioritize and
nobody seems to be aware of the
316
:
00:22:42
sequence of things to be done.
317
:
00:22:43
People will do things in a
haphazard, haphazard way.
318
:
00:22:46
Yeah, and certainly when I talk to
people who have come outta the military
319
:
00:22:50
and they're new to saving life.
320
:
00:22:52
They find it chaotic and they
can't understand how people
321
:
00:22:55
function in that environment.
322
:
00:22:56
Yeah.
323
:
00:22:57
That, again, is on us.
324
:
00:22:58
When we bring astronauts down
from space, there is a period of
325
:
00:23:03
decompression where they have to
get reintegrated into city life.
326
:
00:23:08
Why?
327
:
00:23:08
Because in space.
328
:
00:23:11
There is so zero room for error
essentially, and things are done in a
329
:
00:23:17
very rigorous, systematic, and disciplined
way, and that becomes their way of life.
330
:
00:23:23
And when they come back down to
earth, in order for them to preserve
331
:
00:23:26
their mental health, they have
to get reintegrated gradually.
332
:
00:23:30
And this is astronauts.
333
:
00:23:32
They don't have to face active duty.
334
:
00:23:33
Nobody's shooting at them.
335
:
00:23:35
They're not shooting at anybody else.
336
:
00:23:37
So now we take people who potentially
have been trained to kill, maybe placed
337
:
00:23:42
in a situation where they might be
killed, and everything that implies the
338
:
00:23:46
stress, the chaos, they have to deal
with the systems that have to apply,
339
:
00:23:49
the solutions that have to put in place,
and then we bring them to civil life
340
:
00:23:53
and think, you're outta the war zone.
341
:
00:23:55
You should be happy.
342
:
00:23:56
Yes, but they're also changed and
we refuse to acknowledge that.
343
:
00:24:00
And a lot of the problems that we
see is because of the refusal of
344
:
00:24:03
that acknowledgement, they're not
exactly the same as the rest of us.
345
:
00:24:08
They need help in reintegrating, and I use
the word help in a very, generic sense.
346
:
00:24:12
Yeah.
347
:
00:24:13
They need some systems,
they need some assistance.
348
:
00:24:15
They need some time.
349
:
00:24:16
They need some kind of
structure around all that.
350
:
00:24:18
And I know there are things they
can access, but again, it's like
351
:
00:24:23
they have to break down first.
352
:
00:24:25
And I think that's, again, in a
realistic situation, we have to
353
:
00:24:29
have , a problem when we could have
had a solution that would prevent
354
:
00:24:33
the problem in the first place.
355
:
00:24:35
Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: So technically
there should be a decompression
356
:
00:24:38
timeframe for people that serve.
357
:
00:24:42
And funny enough, as you were talking,
I'm thinking people coming out of jail.
358
:
00:24:49
Have something in place.
359
:
00:24:51
They have halfway houses and then they're
reintegrated somewhat into society, but at
360
:
00:24:58
least it's something between the complete
structure of the day and the evening and
361
:
00:25:05
night that one finds in jail and then
to be thrown out into the real world.
362
:
00:25:12
Yeah, no wonder the, rate of recidivism
is as high as it is because That's right.
363
:
00:25:19
Yeah.
364
:
00:25:19
There's just, there's no rhyme
or reason in the real world.
365
:
00:25:24
David Amerland: Yeah.
366
:
00:25:24
In that context, they're
institutionalized, which means essentially
367
:
00:25:27
what the brain becomes accustomed.
368
:
00:25:31
To specific patterns of operation,
specific stimuli to which they respond
369
:
00:25:36
and then suddenly they're placed in
an environment where those things
370
:
00:25:40
go away, where the structure around
them that supported them goes away.
371
:
00:25:44
They're on their own, they're
unassisted, they feel cut off,
372
:
00:25:49
they feel misunderstood, and
the situation is very similar.
373
:
00:25:53
And all these contexts we're
discussing, the problem is the same.
374
:
00:25:57
We fail to acknowledge changes which
happen internally because we can't
375
:
00:26:01
see them and we only address them
when they are expressed externally
376
:
00:26:06
through usually, antisocial
behavior or self-harming behavior.
377
:
00:26:09
You know, that kind of thing.
378
:
00:26:14
Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: If we
changed even our health approach.
379
:
00:26:21
To being proactive as opposed to
reactive and working on keeping us
380
:
00:26:28
healthy rather than making us well
again, which is where we're at.
381
:
00:26:36
And adding structure of, I realize
, it's not as cut and dried as that,
382
:
00:26:41
but basically , having a time period
like that, that, of an astronaut
383
:
00:26:46
having something that's that in
between time that allows to become
384
:
00:26:53
assimilated into regular life.
385
:
00:26:56
But I think part of it is we
need more structure day to
386
:
00:27:05
day just for humans, period.
387
:
00:27:10
Okay.
388
:
00:27:10
If you look at.
389
:
00:27:12
I don't know.
390
:
00:27:13
I don't care.
391
:
00:27:14
Zebras or squirrels or whatever.
392
:
00:27:18
Even the animals have more
structure than we do it.
393
:
00:27:23
Life is not as chaotic as we make it.
394
:
00:27:30
David Amerland: Yes.
395
:
00:27:30
Which is bizarre.
396
:
00:27:33
Yeah, apex predators,
we have the privilege.
397
:
00:27:38
To function in any environment
we choose, and usually any kind
398
:
00:27:43
of animal has a very specific.
399
:
00:27:46
Environment.
400
:
00:27:48
And that environment creates structure
because it has a dynamic, it has seasonal
401
:
00:27:51
turns, it has times when the food is
plenty and times the food is scarce and
402
:
00:27:56
the water sources go in different places.
403
:
00:27:58
There is a structure which they
follow and that's part of their
404
:
00:28:02
life, part of their survival.
405
:
00:28:04
We are planetary dominant species,
so we have taken over the planet.
406
:
00:28:11
We function in a new
environment almost at will.
407
:
00:28:15
We can go to the bottom of the
sea, you can go to, , depth of
408
:
00:28:17
space and everywhere in between.
409
:
00:28:20
And we do that because of the
capability of our technology
410
:
00:28:24
and the power of our brain.
411
:
00:28:27
At the same time, we fail to grasp, but
every time we change environment, we
412
:
00:28:32
expose ourselves to potential stimuli
for which we are not really prepared.
413
:
00:28:36
And if we go back to the example of
the astronauts, for example, they
414
:
00:28:39
have tremendous training on earth.
415
:
00:28:43
On how to function in space.
416
:
00:28:45
They go into isolation chambers, they
go into suspended , gravity by either
417
:
00:28:50
falling from from, the atmosphere in
order to simulate wait lists in space
418
:
00:28:56
or living at the bottom of the ocean.
419
:
00:28:58
So we prepare them rigorously for
that environment where they're going
420
:
00:29:02
to live in for a very short time.
421
:
00:29:06
We don't take the same
kind of preparation.
422
:
00:29:08
For most of us, when we change
neighborhoods, for example, change
423
:
00:29:11
countries, and we have culture shocks.
424
:
00:29:13
Yeah, that totally amens us.
425
:
00:29:16
There is a phenomenon which has
been documented of westerners
426
:
00:29:19
going to India on an extended
holiday and losing their identity.
427
:
00:29:22
Literally, they forget who they
are, they forget why they exist.
428
:
00:29:27
It's a magical phenomenon.
429
:
00:29:29
So because the culture
shock is so profound.
430
:
00:29:32
Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.
431
:
00:29:36
That.
432
:
00:29:36
Yeah, that, that makes perfect sense.
433
:
00:29:40
The advent of social media, , that
had to chuck a whole bunch of spanners
434
:
00:29:46
in the works because none of us
had that kind of access to others.
435
:
00:29:56
The way social media made
everything so immediate.
436
:
00:29:59
Now, you and I have had talks before
about the good side of social media
437
:
00:30:05
and just what Google Plus did for us
and many other people on the bad side.
438
:
00:30:12
It came, it really did
come at us so quickly.
439
:
00:30:17
People didn't realize how
detrimental it could be to young.
440
:
00:30:23
Minds that are not fully shaped yet
to, children that don't have the
441
:
00:30:29
mental capacity to understand that
not everything they see is real.
442
:
00:30:36
And that's not even counting on adults
that are constantly being, having the
443
:
00:30:42
wool pulled over their eyes and getting
scammed and hacked and what have you.
444
:
00:30:48
I guess again, that's a very human thing.
445
:
00:30:51
We have the capacity, to be tricksters,
, to be narcissistic, to go after what we
446
:
00:31:02
want, often at the expense of others.
447
:
00:31:06
And that too, I think, plays well,
not just men's mental health, but
448
:
00:31:12
on the side of men's mental health.
449
:
00:31:15
It has to be a really big thorn in
the shoe of people who look at it and
450
:
00:31:26
immediately feel comparison, feel that
they somehow or other are falling short.
451
:
00:31:33
They don't meet the requirements
that they're seeing in front of them.
452
:
00:31:38
And because men are so silent.
453
:
00:31:43
Supposed to be strong, that
has to be a hell of a soup
454
:
00:31:46
that's going on in men's minds.
455
:
00:31:51
David Amerland: Absolutely.
456
:
00:31:52
And I'm glad you brought this up.
457
:
00:31:54
Social media is still new to us, , but
right now had quite a bit of time
458
:
00:31:59
under our belt to see its effects.
459
:
00:32:03
And it does a lot of good things.
460
:
00:32:05
It shrinks the world.
461
:
00:32:05
It breaks down barriers,
gives us access to knowledge.
462
:
00:32:08
It allows us to network.
463
:
00:32:10
It allows us to find friends when
finding friends is difficult.
464
:
00:32:14
At the same time, it produces
something called context collapse.
465
:
00:32:19
We find meaning in what we see because of
the context it actually takes place in.
466
:
00:32:25
And social media is fantastic and its
ability to take things out of context
467
:
00:32:29
and present them to us so we have an
emotional response to what we are saying.
468
:
00:32:35
But lacking context, we don't
understand the meaning of it.
469
:
00:32:38
So we end up reacting emotionally to
the stimulus without truly being able
470
:
00:32:43
to prioritize that for us, without being
able to understand what it truly means for
471
:
00:32:48
us without having the luxury of time to
process it and understand its impact on
472
:
00:32:54
us at a deep level, at the that level of
memories and knowledge and comprehension.
473
:
00:33:00
And that's the danger of that.
474
:
00:33:04
Every time we are exposed to any kind
of danger, we find ways to get rounded.
475
:
00:33:10
It takes time.
476
:
00:33:11
And we are still young in our use of
social media in that regard, but as
477
:
00:33:17
we are talking, we are probably the
last, our generation that is growing up
478
:
00:33:22
without having access to social media.
479
:
00:33:24
Yeah.
480
:
00:33:25
And the ones coming after.
481
:
00:33:27
Us and the ones after them will
evolve their own tactics and their
482
:
00:33:32
own defenses in order to reap the
benefits of what they use and mitigate
483
:
00:33:38
A lot of its bad impact at the moment.
484
:
00:33:41
The impact is certainly there.
485
:
00:33:42
It creates a lot of anxiety in young men.
486
:
00:33:45
I think it creates a lot of
confusion in adolescence.
487
:
00:33:49
Definitely the comparison factor is
one of the issues which you mentioned.
488
:
00:33:54
But those existed before in a smaller
form before we reached the digital domain.
489
:
00:34:00
And this has only amplified it.
490
:
00:34:02
So in the past, we found ways
to guide people through that.
491
:
00:34:10
And I'm sure that through, the next
five years as we evolve, we'll find
492
:
00:34:16
very clear guidelines of how to navigate
the digital world as we grow up.
493
:
00:34:22
Without it impacting us the way it does.
494
:
00:34:30
Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.
495
:
00:34:30
Because I think, an awful lot of it is
scary and I'm already seeing with some
496
:
00:34:36
of my grandkids that Gen Z are, they're
finding ways to distance themselves.
497
:
00:34:49
To acknowledge that not all
of this is good, which I find
498
:
00:34:53
really interesting because they
do it better than millennials.
499
:
00:35:01
Millennials kinda had one foot in each
camp, and it depended on where they
500
:
00:35:09
chose to land, how much of it they find
good, and how much of it is difficult.
501
:
00:35:18
We, I don't think there has ever been
a generation that is I wanna say it's
502
:
00:35:24
almost like they're on rubber bands.
503
:
00:35:25
They keep going home.
504
:
00:35:28
Like
505
:
00:35:30
I, I didn't see that in generations before
me, and certainly not in my generation.
506
:
00:35:37
Okay, once you left home, that's it.
507
:
00:35:39
You're on your own.
508
:
00:35:40
Okay?
509
:
00:35:40
You're an adult, go do your thing.
510
:
00:35:43
And even Gen X, to, most extent
they've done that as well.
511
:
00:35:49
You, there are some that end up
having to go home again, but it's
512
:
00:35:52
not a consideration as with a
lot of millennials it is for them
513
:
00:35:58
a big consideration right now.
514
:
00:36:00
Trying to buy a house for
a millennial is a big deal.
515
:
00:36:04
Things are not what they once were.
516
:
00:36:07
And part of their life plans.
517
:
00:36:10
I hear an awful lot of young men
and young women who will, , through
518
:
00:36:14
my twenties, I'll just, when I
go to school, when I do whatever,
519
:
00:36:17
I'm just gonna stay at my parents.
520
:
00:36:20
And I don't think anybody in my age
group would have thought that was
521
:
00:36:28
viable, nor would their parents.
522
:
00:36:34
David Amerland: Absolutely.
523
:
00:36:34
I think
524
:
00:36:35
one of the thing, yes, I think one of the
things which are evident at the moment is
525
:
00:36:41
we're going through a transition period.
526
:
00:36:44
Things are changing.
527
:
00:36:44
They're changing fundamentally across the
board in so many different areas that it's
528
:
00:36:49
very hard to keep track of the effect of
all that change collectively is that it
529
:
00:36:55
increases significantly our perception
, of uncertainty about the future.
530
:
00:37:00
And for young people growing up
right now, the effect of that is that
531
:
00:37:06
they tend to sometimes lose hope.
532
:
00:37:09
And they certainly feel
under a lot of stress.
533
:
00:37:11
A lot of pressure.
534
:
00:37:12
I was reading a study carried out by
McKenzie, the McKenzie group from,
535
:
00:37:19
they used six and a half thousand
different respondents from five
536
:
00:37:22
different countries, and they looked
at Gen Zers and millennials, and
537
:
00:37:27
they founded Gen Zers in general.
538
:
00:37:30
Face more anxiety, face more
stress, are more acutely aware
539
:
00:37:33
of their need to access wellness.
540
:
00:37:36
They try to focus on their sleep.
541
:
00:37:38
They try to focus on their health,
and they're relatively young.
542
:
00:37:41
They're at, , they're very young.
543
:
00:37:43
They're at an age where generations
before didn't even consider those
544
:
00:37:47
things because they felt okay.
545
:
00:37:49
So this kind of self-awareness
and the willingness to reach
546
:
00:37:54
for some kind of solution.
547
:
00:37:56
I think it's extremely hopeful.
548
:
00:38:00
It's very encouraging.
549
:
00:38:01
We are seeing them put in place the
defenses, the strategies, the mechanisms
550
:
00:38:06
that will allow them to navigate
successfully in the years to come.
551
:
00:38:10
A world that right now appears
very chaotic, and this is
552
:
00:38:14
just the beginning for them.
553
:
00:38:18
Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah,
that, that's absolutely true.
554
:
00:38:20
An awful lot of the Gen
Zs, they do consider.
555
:
00:38:24
Mental health is not a
foreign concept to them.
556
:
00:38:28
And, taking time, yes, getting enough
sleep, taking time taking time because
557
:
00:38:34
you're starting to feel burnt out.
558
:
00:38:37
And the other thing that I, I find
really fascinating is exposed because
559
:
00:38:42
of everything else that has gone
before, none of them look at career
560
:
00:38:49
as meaning working in one place.
561
:
00:38:52
Hmm.
562
:
00:38:53
Which I find absolutely fascinating.
563
:
00:38:56
And , that brings me to
the book for the young men.
564
:
00:39:02
Okay.
565
:
00:39:03
There, there's stuff in here
that talks about like harmony and
566
:
00:39:07
happy hour and, all the additional
pieces that make for a good life.
567
:
00:39:16
Never before.
568
:
00:39:17
Like I find the book really interesting
because before when you got a book
569
:
00:39:22
that talked about physicality and,
and looking after what was phys ed and
570
:
00:39:30
you know, your body, making sure that
it functioned at its best and what
571
:
00:39:34
have you, didn't consider any of what
people might consider more esoteric.
572
:
00:39:43
Pursuits that really no one used
to consider your mental health.
573
:
00:39:50
No one used to consider,
are you happy enough?
574
:
00:39:53
Do you spend enough time every day
being grateful for what you have?
575
:
00:40:00
Do you have a meditation practice?
576
:
00:40:03
Do you do yoga?
577
:
00:40:04
Like what do you, what do
you do to decompress that?
578
:
00:40:08
All of these things are.
579
:
00:40:11
A little newfangled, and I love
the way it's all there in the book.
580
:
00:40:17
And as a matter of fact, like
on the back it says, stronger,
581
:
00:40:22
healthier, happier for life.
582
:
00:40:26
And I think that's such a,
583
:
00:40:30
such a timely concept to put
it all together because this.
584
:
00:40:38
Funny enough goes back to SEO.
585
:
00:40:41
Okay.
586
:
00:40:42
Years ago when we switched from
Boolean to contextual search, I
587
:
00:40:50
got in the habit of talking about
everything I did was integrated.
588
:
00:40:55
It had to be congruent.
589
:
00:40:57
You had to pull it all together.
590
:
00:40:59
And by that I meant
also your mental state.
591
:
00:41:04
And here the book is
addressing all of those things.
592
:
00:41:09
So it's
593
:
00:41:18
YouMatter Song Lyrics: When
moving forward seems too much.
594
:
00:41:25
When you feel totally out of touch,
595
:
00:41:35
out the door, you find yourself.
596
:
00:41:38
Curled on the floor.
597
:
00:41:48
The thoughts swirl around
all jumbled and messed.
598
:
00:41:55
Why is this brain so darkly obsessed?
599
:
00:42:03
I've secrets I've never confessed.
600
:
00:42:10
Haven't told a soul,
601
:
00:42:14
I'm depressed.
602
:
00:42:17
A gentle whisper through the pain.
603
:
00:42:21
Remember rainbows, follow,
rain breathe deeply.
604
:
00:42:26
Hold on.
605
:
00:42:27
tight Your hope will
return shining bright.
606
:
00:42:40
Embrace the now release the
past In Forgiveness, peace
607
:
00:42:47
will last You matter
deeply you're not alone.
608
:
00:42:50
Reach out.
609
:
00:42:50
Let your strength be shown.
610
:
00:43:01
When moving forward seems too much.
611
:
00:43:08
When you feel totally out of touch,
612
:
00:43:18
out the door, you find yourself.
613
:
00:43:21
Curled on the floor.
614
:
00:43:31
The thoughts swirl around
all jumbled and messed.
615
:
00:43:38
Why is this brain so darkly obsessed?
616
:
00:43:45
I've secrets I've never confessed.
617
:
00:43:52
Haven't told a soul,
618
:
00:43:57
I'm depressed.
619
:
00:44:00
A gentle whisper through the pain.
620
:
00:44:04
Remember rainbows, follow,
rain breathe deeply.
621
:
00:44:09
Hold on.
622
:
00:44:10
tight Your hope will
return shining bright.
623
:
00:44:23
Embrace the now release the
past In Forgiveness, peace
624
:
00:44:30
will last You matter
deeply you're not alone.
625
:
00:44:32
Reach out.
626
:
00:44:33
Let your strength be shown.
627
:
00:44:36
Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna:
optimizing the human
628
:
00:44:41
David Amerland: pretty much.
629
:
00:44:41
Yes.
630
:
00:44:42
I love the way you, you
brought it all together.
631
:
00:44:44
We have talked in the world of
business and even in, in SEO forever.
632
:
00:44:50
Yeah, about the who and the why, and we
said, if you don't know who you are as
633
:
00:44:55
a business, there's no chance in hell
that you're really going to find your
634
:
00:44:59
customers because you don't know how
to talk to them because you don't know
635
:
00:45:03
what to talk to them really truly about.
636
:
00:45:07
And if you don't know who you are,
then clearly you don't also know
637
:
00:45:10
why you're doing what you're doing.
638
:
00:45:13
And this is so fundamental in everything.
639
:
00:45:15
It's fundamental in fitness, it's
fundamental in mental health.
640
:
00:45:18
It's fundamental in happiness.
641
:
00:45:21
We certainly struggle, and this is
again going back to the men's health
642
:
00:45:26
thing, with our identity, we struggle
to understand who we are and when we
643
:
00:45:31
struggle to understand who we are.
644
:
00:45:34
We grasp past straws.
645
:
00:45:36
We try to become what the
world expects us to be.
646
:
00:45:39
We try to be strong.
647
:
00:45:40
We try to be silent.
648
:
00:45:41
We try to be successful.
649
:
00:45:42
We try to appear that, you know, we
have this material wealth and cold
650
:
00:45:47
veneer that we think people expect
us to have, and it's killing us.
651
:
00:45:53
It's too much effort.
652
:
00:45:54
It's unsustainable, it's fragile.
653
:
00:45:57
It will break at the first stress test.
654
:
00:46:01
So really.
655
:
00:46:02
The answer to most things
is to look inside ourselves.
656
:
00:46:06
And, uh, who we are is an evolution.
657
:
00:46:09
It doesn't stay exactly the same.
658
:
00:46:12
Parts of it do, but parts
of it constantly evolve.
659
:
00:46:15
And why we do things is also a
reflection of that evolutionary arc.
660
:
00:46:21
But the moment we are in touch with that,
then we are okay with the changes and that
661
:
00:46:26
gives us grit, that gives us resilience.
662
:
00:46:29
That allows us to bend and not break,
that allows us to navigate difficult
663
:
00:46:34
situations without falling apart.
664
:
00:46:37
It allows us to face uncertainty
without feeling crippling fear,
665
:
00:46:45
and it starts so simply by asking
ourselves, who am I really, truly?
666
:
00:46:50
And answering honestly, we can
all lie, especially to ourselves,
667
:
00:46:55
but the moment we are honest.
668
:
00:46:57
It's a game changer.
669
:
00:47:02
Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna:
Oh, that, that's so good.
670
:
00:47:05
So good and so true.
671
:
00:47:07
And in, in a way, it's funny, but
it does all come back to integration
672
:
00:47:17
without the physical piece, without the
emotional piece, the mental health piece
673
:
00:47:23
is never going to be what it should be.
674
:
00:47:25
And vice versa, put any one of them at the
top and all the others must come together
675
:
00:47:34
in a way to allow you to function well.
676
:
00:47:39
David Amerland: Yeah, absolutely.
677
:
00:47:40
And when you say function well,
I mean, what do we mean by that?
678
:
00:47:43
Really, let's quantify that.
679
:
00:47:45
We all have X amount of energy in us.
680
:
00:47:48
That's all it is.
681
:
00:47:50
Another amount of energy is allocated
into things we want to do, things
682
:
00:47:53
we have to do, and a little bit of
energy to deal with the unexpected,
683
:
00:47:57
which is kind of there all the time.
684
:
00:48:00
So if we want to function well,
truly, and we don't have any
685
:
00:48:06
more energy, this is all we have.
686
:
00:48:08
And the external world
is more and more complex.
687
:
00:48:11
So let's say part of the unexpected,
especially in our times, is going to take
688
:
00:48:15
more and more and more of our energy.
689
:
00:48:17
And we can't find anything extra.
690
:
00:48:19
So the only thing we can do is to lower
the daily energetic cost of existing,
691
:
00:48:26
and the only way we can truly do that
is by living our truth, by being us.
692
:
00:48:32
If you know who you are, you don't
have to mentally struggle all
693
:
00:48:35
the time to understand what is
expected of you and how to project
694
:
00:48:39
it because you know who you are.
695
:
00:48:42
If you know why you're doing the things
you're doing well, there's no struggle
696
:
00:48:46
on why should I do this or why should
I do that, or how to prioritize these
697
:
00:48:50
things because it's already clear to you.
698
:
00:48:53
And if we take something as mundane as
marketing, for instance, well if you
699
:
00:48:57
know who you are and why you're doing
things, you marketing message is simple.
700
:
00:49:00
You don't have to have sort of,
uh, brainstorming sessions and,
701
:
00:49:04
uh, focus groups and you know,
different trials and AB testing.
702
:
00:49:08
All the nonsense we go
through when we are not sure.
703
:
00:49:13
So let's break it down to the individual.
704
:
00:49:16
Give yourself the space required
to deal with the unexpected without
705
:
00:49:20
breaking by, making life easier for you.
706
:
00:49:23
Understand who you are,
structure your life accordingly.
707
:
00:49:26
Understand why you're doing those things.
708
:
00:49:28
Seek the clarity that comes with that,
and suddenly some things become easier.
709
:
00:49:32
Everyday living becomes
a little bit easier.
710
:
00:49:35
I'm not saying it's easy ever, but
it's easier, which means you have
711
:
00:49:39
margin now to deal with the unexpected.
712
:
00:49:41
That's living Well,
that's what you just said.
713
:
00:49:45
Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: It's so true.
714
:
00:49:45
And, and by finding out who you
are and then living into that,
715
:
00:49:55
it takes a whole lot less effort
716
:
00:49:59
and building something that you
think you ought to be doing,
717
:
00:50:03
what you think you ought to do,
and hating every moment of it.
718
:
00:50:08
Because then when you, when you need
some extra moments, you don't have
719
:
00:50:14
that reserve 'cause you wasted it
all trying to be this other thing.
720
:
00:50:20
And some of us takes a little
longer to figure that out.
721
:
00:50:25
But once you get there I will say
it's pretty cool to know who you
722
:
00:50:32
are and what you're capable of.
723
:
00:50:36
And more importantly,
724
:
00:50:39
celebrate that.
725
:
00:50:42
Celebrate
726
:
00:50:42
David Amerland: embracing who
727
:
00:50:43
Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: you are.
728
:
00:50:44
Celebrate knowing who you are and
celebrate the things that you know
729
:
00:50:50
you do well, because I've said
this forever, every single human on
730
:
00:50:58
the planet has at least one thing.
731
:
00:51:01
They excel at.
732
:
00:51:04
And it isn't necessarily what you think.
733
:
00:51:08
It may not be what you thought you wanted
to excel at, but the fact is there is
734
:
00:51:14
something that you are the very best at.
735
:
00:51:19
You know what?
736
:
00:51:20
Celebrate that.
737
:
00:51:25
David Amerland: I, I'll
definitely second that.
738
:
00:51:26
Absolutely.
739
:
00:51:28
Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yes.
740
:
00:51:28
Yay.
741
:
00:51:31
So in wrapping up our, our theme here, I
hope we, we did men's mental health, uh,
742
:
00:51:37
some justice here, but what are, let's
see, what are three things from your book
743
:
00:51:46
that you think it would be beneficial
for men to incorporate into their day?
744
:
00:51:55
Keeping in mind that, and it
doesn't have to be mental health
745
:
00:51:59
because everything we do that
integrates will actually help that.
746
:
00:52:05
David Amerland: Definitely.
747
:
00:52:06
Okay.
748
:
00:52:06
Just three things.
749
:
00:52:07
Okay.
750
:
00:52:07
Let's think about that.
751
:
00:52:08
The first thing is breathe more deeply.
752
:
00:52:12
We tend to get stressed.
753
:
00:52:14
We don't realize we're stressed.
754
:
00:52:15
Yeah, we take shallow breaths.
755
:
00:52:17
A cascade of events happens because
of that tightness in the chest,
756
:
00:52:21
less oxygen in the bloodstream.
757
:
00:52:23
More cortisol and bloodstream.
758
:
00:52:25
Cortisol affects us in so many different
ways from shutting down after a
759
:
00:52:29
certain threshold is reached the higher
analytical centers of the brain to sort
760
:
00:52:34
of affecting the body's energy pathway.
761
:
00:52:37
So we don't access the glucose we
do have, and we eat food and we put
762
:
00:52:40
weight on, and that destroys our
image of ourselves and how effective
763
:
00:52:44
we are, you know, all those things.
764
:
00:52:45
So all those things can be addressed.
765
:
00:52:48
By just breathing deeply
after every situation.
766
:
00:52:51
It allows us to decompress.
767
:
00:52:53
It allows us to be aware of our own body.
768
:
00:52:55
It allows us to feel in control,
which is very important and allows
769
:
00:53:00
us to be grounded in the moment
because we're taking deep breaths
770
:
00:53:03
and then slowly ex excelling.
771
:
00:53:05
So if we get into that habit.
772
:
00:53:07
That's a great thing to do and certainly
when we get into a stressful situation,
773
:
00:53:10
extra deep breaths absolutely nail it.
774
:
00:53:14
So that's one good thing to keep in mind.
775
:
00:53:16
Second thing, socialize, and I
don't mean go to parties, have
776
:
00:53:22
meaningful relationships with people.
777
:
00:53:25
Maybe you have one or two people in
your life which you prioritize because
778
:
00:53:29
their connection with you elevates
you and you in turn elevate them.
779
:
00:53:34
We know from countless studies now
that this impacts positively our,
780
:
00:53:38
our mental and physical health to
the extent that sometimes it adds
781
:
00:53:42
up to five extra years in our life.
782
:
00:53:44
That simple thing, find those people.
783
:
00:53:48
It's not easy.
784
:
00:53:49
You have to find a friend.
785
:
00:53:50
It has to be a meaningful connection.
786
:
00:53:52
You have to try and raise
them when they need raising.
787
:
00:53:55
Listen, when they need
listening, and also be.
788
:
00:53:59
Re reciprocate that by
being open in return.
789
:
00:54:02
Being vulnerable again is not easy, but
if you do, if you go into that effort,
790
:
00:54:08
you get rewarded in turn by finding
somebody who has your back and you have
791
:
00:54:13
their back and you feel way less alone.
792
:
00:54:16
That's the second thing.
793
:
00:54:17
So socializing.
794
:
00:54:18
Second thing, and the third
thing, fix your sleep.
795
:
00:54:22
It doesn't matter really, truly how
many hours of sleep you get a night.
796
:
00:54:27
I mean, it does, but let's say it doesn't.
797
:
00:54:29
Ideally, what does matter is the
quality of sleep you get in those hours.
798
:
00:54:35
So if you manage to get deep rejuvenating
sleep every night, you reset your mind
799
:
00:54:41
and you reset your body, and that's
a good basis to start a new day with.
800
:
00:54:46
Most of us go to bed, we check our
phones, we check our tablets, we
801
:
00:54:49
think about things we toss and turn.
802
:
00:54:51
We spend a couple of hours not sleeping
in bed, and then we kind of fall asleep
803
:
00:54:57
and our brain is already agitated.
804
:
00:55:00
We don't get good quality sleep.
805
:
00:55:02
Change that button.
806
:
00:55:03
Your phone in bed shouldn't be there.
807
:
00:55:05
Your tablet in bed shouldn't be there.
808
:
00:55:06
And I know some people can manage it,
so when I say this in a prescriptive
809
:
00:55:11
way, impacts on them and they resist it.
810
:
00:55:14
But a lot of people cannot manage it.
811
:
00:55:17
So exceptions aside.
812
:
00:55:20
Let's make it a rule.
813
:
00:55:21
And then those people who
can't manage it well they can
814
:
00:55:24
definitely do with this help.
815
:
00:55:26
And those people who can manage it will
not feel severely deprived, I'm sure.
816
:
00:55:30
Absolutely.
817
:
00:55:31
So if you do those three things straight
from the book, you're going to feel
818
:
00:55:34
better in your mind, your body, and
your emotional and psychological health.
819
:
00:55:40
Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: That is so good.
820
:
00:55:41
And this is something maybe
a little different for men.
821
:
00:55:46
I find that.
822
:
00:55:48
I repeat three.
823
:
00:55:51
Well, one's a gratitude, one's a
clearing, and one's a what I aspire to.
824
:
00:55:57
Tomorrow I have three little
sentences that I just read through
825
:
00:56:02
every night before I go to sleep.
826
:
00:56:04
Now I am going to confess here
I have my phone by the bed, but
827
:
00:56:10
not for checking stuff because.
828
:
00:56:14
I didn't have my phone all morning.
829
:
00:56:16
I was, I was out and realized,
oh, my phone must have fallen
830
:
00:56:21
down between the seats in the car.
831
:
00:56:23
Like I don't really care at night.
832
:
00:56:26
I use it for meditations because
unfortunately I sleep with, you've
833
:
00:56:32
probably heard him because you
were only half a world away.
834
:
00:56:37
Uh, my husband snores
somewhat like a freight train.
835
:
00:56:40
And I started with earbuds
years and years ago.
836
:
00:56:44
Just, you know, like those things
that they give you to put in your
837
:
00:56:47
ears if you're standing in front
of a jet plane or something.
838
:
00:56:52
And it morphed into doing
my meditations overnight.
839
:
00:56:56
And we actually play music for the dogs.
840
:
00:57:01
It's calming music for the dog.
841
:
00:57:03
So that's why those are in there.
842
:
00:57:06
But yeah, I don't scroll before bed.
843
:
00:57:08
I don't scroll when I
get up in the morning.
844
:
00:57:11
It's not, it was never my habit, so I
didn't allow it to become a habit now.
845
:
00:57:19
And I think if a lot of people,
if you can't do it without
846
:
00:57:24
scrolling, leave it in the kitchen.
847
:
00:57:26
Leave it in the living room, put it
somewhere that you're not gonna get that.
848
:
00:57:31
That weird fake light.
849
:
00:57:34
In your face while you're trying to sleep.
850
:
00:57:37
'cause that's definitely
not useful for sure.
851
:
00:57:42
I have to say that first off, I'm gonna
do this now and see it without any, uh.
852
:
00:57:49
Without any, oh, there's a ring on there.
853
:
00:57:51
I'm so sorry.
854
:
00:57:53
I will add this to the
information down below.
855
:
00:57:57
In the transcripts, we'll tell you exactly
where you can get David's book built to
856
:
00:58:02
last, how to get stronger, healthier,
and happier at every stage of life.
857
:
00:58:08
And I honestly believe that
being happier is important.
858
:
00:58:14
I also believe that to
do all of those things.
859
:
00:58:18
It's our choice.
860
:
00:58:21
So step up, deep breath, deep breathing
is absolutely super important.
861
:
00:58:27
Socialize with the right
people for the right aim.
862
:
00:58:31
And the third one was except.
863
:
00:58:35
Except when you can't get rid of all
those things and get really good sleep
864
:
00:58:41
there.
865
:
00:58:42
I got all three.
866
:
00:58:43
David, I cannot thank you enough.
867
:
00:58:46
Once again for, thank you for giving
us so much to think about and, we will
868
:
00:58:52
return with David for sure because he's
always got wonderful things to say.
869
:
00:58:58
I'll make sure that all of the
information you need to get in touch
870
:
00:59:02
with David is right below along with the
transcript and I want everyone to pay
871
:
00:59:08
attention to Men's Mental Health Month.
872
:
00:59:13
Make sure that you try to see
and hear the men in your life.
873
:
00:59:19
Reach out and tell people
you are willing to listen.
874
:
00:59:24
I've actually told my husband and other
people in my life, I will duct tape my
875
:
00:59:30
mouth because I will listen, not talk,
but sometimes that's what people need.
876
:
00:59:36
They just need your ears.
877
:
00:59:38
They don't want your mouth.
878
:
00:59:40
And on that lovely note.
879
:
00:59:43
Thank you again, David.
880
:
00:59:44
I'm Elaine Lindsay.
881
:
00:59:46
This is suicide and forgiveness.
882
:
00:59:49
Make the very best of
your today, every day.
883
:
00:59:53
We'll see you next time.
884
:
00:59:54
Thank you very much for having me.
885
:
00:59:56
Thank you.
886
:
00:59:56
Bye-bye.
887
:
00:59:57
Wonderful to have you.
888
:
01:00:01
Thank you for being here for
another inspiring episode
889
:
01:00:04
of Suicide Zen Forgiveness.
890
:
01:00:05
We appreciate you tuning in.
891
:
01:00:08
Please subscribe and download on your
favorite service and check out S'S
892
:
01:00:12
YouTube channel or Facebook community.
893
:
01:00:14
If you have the chance to leave
a five star rating or review,
894
:
01:00:17
it'd be greatly appreciated.
895
:
01:00:19
Please refer this to a friend you
know who may benefit from the hope
896
:
01:00:23
and inspiration from our guests.
897
:
01:00:25
Suicide Zen Forgiveness was brought
to you by the following sponsors.
898
:
01:00:30
TROOL social media, the digital
integration specialists.
899
:
01:00:34
Let them get you rocking page
one in the search results.
900
:
01:00:37
Canada's keynote, Humorist, Judy Croon,
motivational speaker, comedian, author,
901
:
01:00:42
and standup coach at Second City.
902
:
01:00:44
Judy has been involved for over
a decade in the City Street
903
:
01:00:47
Outreach program in Toronto.
904
:
01:00:51
Do you have a story to share?
905
:
01:00:53
Do you know someone you think
would be a great guests hero?
906
:
01:00:57
Please go to SZF four two.com
907
:
01:01:00
and for our American listeners,
that's s zf four two.com.
908
:
01:01:04
Thank you for listening and we hope.
909
:
01:01:05
To see you again
