Chartreuse's Epic Rap Battle is a serialized comedy, audio drama. Listen for free on your favorite podcast platform such as Spotify, Apple Podcast, Sticher, and Amazon Music.
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Transcripts
Narrator:
In the nineties, four ladies started a rap battle in a Manitoba correctional facility.
Narrator:
This is their story.
Cuddles:
Hey girls.
Miss Minj:
Ah Cuddles , that was quick.
Cuddles:
Lady Ping Pong just has the best products.
Cuddles:
My legs are going to be silky smooth.
Miss Minj:
What you got there?
Miss Minj:
A new razor?
Cuddles:
Yep.
Chartreuse:
Oh yeah, yeah girl, you gotta have them razors. You know, you can't have them old razors.
Chartreuse:
You need them new razor, like a real sharp one.
Chartreuse:
I mean them old ones going to chop out your skin, you know what I'm saying?
Chartreuse:
Got to be new, got to be new.
Cuddles:
And I got a new toothbrush.
Miss Minj:
Yeah, look at that.
Miss Minj:
That handle's a bit pointy, isn't it?
Cuddles:
Oh, I hadn't noticed. Miss Minj: To be honest, it looks a bit like
Cuddles:
somebody sharpened it.
Cuddles:
You're right.
Cuddles:
That's so weird.
Cuddles:
It kinda looks like a shiv.
Miss MInj:
Yeah, you don't say.
Chartreuse:
Well, you know, it's always good to have a toothbrush shiv.
Chartreuse:
You might be brushing your teeth and out of nowhere, someone comes up and tries to cut you.
Chartreuse:
You know, steal your shit.
Cuddles:
Oh, I almost forgot.
Cuddles:
I also got this new comb.
Chartreuse:
Oh yeah, yeah girl.
Chartreuse:
You gotta have a comb over here too.
Chartreuse:
Can't have too many combs.
Miss Minj:
You know, the teeth on that comb look a little pointy too.
Miss Minj:
Almost like a saw or something.
Cuddles:
You don't say.
Chartreuse:
Yeah.
Chartreuse:
You know, that is true.
Chartreuse:
You could cut a motherfucker good with that shit.
Chartreuse:
I bet that shit cut right through bone . Cuddles: Now that you mentioned it, it does
Chartreuse:
seem a little sharp for comb.
Chartreuse:
Lady Ping Pong's got them good products.
Chartreuse:
You know, just last week I bought some pink flamingos off her.
Chartreuse:
You know, they really spice up my cell.
Chartreuse:
Make me feel like I'm in the tropics...
Chartreuse:
tanning my butt cheeks.
Cuddles:
She always has what I need.
Cuddles:
Did I tell you I ordered a fondue set.
Miss Minj:
Cuddles!
Miss Minj:
Are you fucking serious?
Miss Minj:
Are you mental?
Miss Minj:
You've bought a whole bag of shanks and shivs.
Narrator:
Chartreuse's Epic Rap Battle is an all new, serialized, audio drama.
Narrator:
Listen for free on your favorite podcast platform, such as Spotify, Amazon Music or Stitcher.
