Today's episode is all about ditching the idea that being busy equals being purposeful. We’re kicking off Season 8 with the fabulous Nicole O. Salmon.

Nicole's journey of personal growth through writing was marked by an initial struggle to accept her identity as a writer, a challenge she overcame by authoring a book that catalyzed her self-acceptance. She now leverages her experiences to guide high-capacity women in distinguishing between their capabilities and true callings, emphasizing the transformative power of pausing and reflecting on life's invitations. Nicole views writing as a tool for empowerment, allowing individuals to express themselves authentically, navigate challenges confidently, and stay grounded in their identity and calling. Through her writing and mentorship, she inspires others to embrace their authentic paths and confidently say yes to the lives they are meant to lead.

She's here to shake things up and confront that sneaky identity crisis many high-capacity folks face. Forget about cramming your calendar with endless meetings and to-do lists; what we really need is to reconnect with our true selves and build from a place of alignment instead of pressure.

Nicole shares her wisdom on how to cut through the noise and realize that you’re allowed to say no, set boundaries, and ultimately, embrace who you really are.

This episode is for you, if you are ready to unbox your clarity, courage, and calling!

If this episode resonates with you, then remember... SUBSCRIBE • 5-Star Rate • COMMENT • SHARE this Podcast!! 💚❤️🙌🏾🙏🏾

Book Recommendation: "Practicing the Way" by John Mark Cormer

Find Nicole Online:

Website: https://www.nicoleosalmon.com/

IG: https://www.instagram.com/nicoleosalmon/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicoleosalmon/

Find us online: https://linktr.ee/nkechinwaforrobinson

Great day, amazing humans.

Welcome to the Empowered in My Skin podcast where we have conversations that inform, inspire, and remind you that you matter.

This is the place where we share stories, wisdom, and experiences designed to help you live boldly, think empowering thoughts, and show up fully in the skin you're in.

I'm your host, Nkching Wafor, and I'm so glad you're here.

Now let's get into today's episode.

Oh, great day, amazing humans.

And guess what?

We are back season eight and our first guest.

Our first amazing guest.

And you don't need another planner, another strategy, or another yes on your calendar.

What you need is truth about who you are and what you carry within you.

Take.

Today's guest is here to disrupt the lie that busyness equals purpose and confront the quiet identity crisis so many high capacity people are living in.

This conversation isn't about doing more.

It's about coming back to yourself and building from alignment, not pressure or obligation.

So please get ready to unbox Clarity, Courage, and calling with Nicole Savage.

Oh, my gosh.

And I also want to say, repeat guest.

Yes.

Repeat guests.

Yeah.

For as long as you'll keep having me.

Yes.

So I do have to ask, because we're actually going to put your previous episode in the show notes so that people can go and listen because you're, you are, you are so.

You're so aligned with purpose and helping people really unpack that for themselves and what it means.

And so if I had to ask you, like, well, first question.

Let me get to the first question, then I'll go into that.

But what has been your most empowering thought of the day so far?

I am allowed to.

Ooh, that was smart.

I am allowed to tell you more.

Yeah.

I think that, you know, especially if you're, you're raised where you weren't given a lot of permission to do a lot of things that stays with you even into adulthood.

And it took me a long time and a, A lot of work to realize that I get to give myself permission to.

Permission to set boundaries, permission to say no, permission to change my mind, whatever it is.

Like, like, I get, I get to.

And that's really empowering for me.

So that I had that cross my mind today because I had an experience and I had to remind myself, like, no, you're allowed to do that, man.

Like, give yourself a permission slip.

I love that.

And, you know, I mean, in the work that you do, how, like how much of us are walking around and this might be just a like, but generally a lot of us are walking around with old cultural norms.

And, like, if somebody, like, I'm allowed to.

Does require you, in my opinion, I'm thinking almost like an unravel, like un unraveling what you've been used to, Right.

And so how could somebody really start to get there where they can say, you know what?

No, I'm actually allowed to be loud, you know, Right.

Yeah, yeah.

To play, to be heard, right?

Like, yeah, not heard, like, all.

So what.

What's the work to get us to.

I'm allowed to.

Yeah, it's big.

It's.

You say, like, how much of this, you know, do I see?

Or, you know, like, I wrote a whole book on this, right.

And the language that I use is.

Is unboxing, Right.

And I think what's required is to actually just sit with those conversations very intentionally.

Like, I described that whole unboxing process as having three elements, right?

So having us sitting intentionally and thinking about, okay, what do I need to evaluate?

Right?

So like you said, some of those messages that I receive that I kind of hang my hat on, and I call it truth when it's not.

Right.

So what do I need to evaluate?

What do I need to elevate?

There.

There are some great things that, like.

No, that was true.

That stays with me.

And I'm going to add, you know, I'm going to add that to the toolkit and to the Identity Shaper.

But then there's the one that I think we struggle with the most, which is what do I need to elimina.

Yes, right.

And that one that we just started out talking about was.

Yeah, that notion that.

Funny.

Before we titled the book Courage and Confidence, one of the original titles that I played around with was the Making of Myths.

Inappropriate.

And maybe that's still a book in the making, I don't know.

But.

But it deals with like, it's the idea of when parts of you have been described as inappropriate.

Right.

So whether it's being loud, speaking, confronting, asking questions, at some point it shapes.

It shapes you.

But at some point you have to sit and consider should it.

And is it time for.

For some of those.

Those labels and those narratives to go so I can actually be who I was designed to be?

And last time we met, we actually did go through your book.

It was at the infancy.

I know you had.

You had sent me a copy and I appreciated it.

You were getting ready.

You were.

You were doing the work to tour.

Yes.

And so how has that.

How has that been since the launch and.

And all of the opportunities Because I think you're going to Atlanta, if I recall.

Yeah, yeah.

And you were doing Toronto.

Yeah, yeah, I was in North Carolina.

I was in a few places.

Yeah.

And then it came back home.

And how's that.

How's that been?

What isn't?

What is in.

What has come from sort of that release and who's.

It's incredible.

It's.

Yeah, it feels like it's.

Inwardly, it feels like a resurgence of the book because there's still so much that I want to squeeze out of it.

You know, it just feels like the book that keeps.

Keeps on giving.

It was.

So, you know, you launch, it's all of this excitement.

It quiets down and it feels like, did I even write a book?

But then there's this second win that comes, and there's a whole other, you know, there's a whole other wave of readers who get their hands on the book.

And the emails start to come in, come in, the interview invites start to, you know, come, come again.

And I think that's the beautiful thing about writing versus speaking.

I think written words like, they.

They just kind of have a way of continuously going and going, and.

And I've just been going wherever those words take me.

And what's been your biggest growth since the launch?

Personal because of the book?

Yeah.

Well, that whole experience, like, what you're.

I'm actually.

As you talk, I'm looking.

I. I know I have the book.

It's.

It was on my bedside table, but I pretty much think I brought it down.

I want to show the.

The listeners.

My biggest growth, ironically, I think, has

been

the acceptance that I'm a writer.

When I wrote.

When I started writing the book, I didn't feel like a writer.

I was a speaker.

I was accustomed.

There's my baby.

Hi, honey.

Hi, honey.

I was like, okay, continue.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think I accepted my strengths and my gifts as a spirit speaker, but I didn't.

I didn't really see myself as a writer.

And so the process of writing, writing the book, owning the messaging, honing in on the messaging, really brought me into the acceptance of that part of my identity.

I think that's true for a lot of us.

Right?

Like, we have muscles that we don't use a lot, so we don't think we're strong in that area until you have to work it and work it and you realize, okay, no, there's something.

There's something here.

Like, I. I went from writing a book kicking and screaming.

Like, it really was a kicking.

I think I even.

We Talked about that.

Like it's kicking and screaming experience now.

Sometimes my poor husband's trying to like get my attention and tell me something and I'm writing and I'm like, hang on, got a thought.

Must, write.

Must.

And, and I don't move.

Like I sit and I don't move sometimes for hours at a time because I'm writing and there's a flow and.

And that came from just saying yes to the book.

I didn't feel like that when I wrote one, but I definitely feel like an author since.

Since the book.

Thank you.

That.

So you work with a lot of, I'm going to say, like high capacity women and who are, who pretty much, I'm going to say are like have a cape, capable of doing almost anything.

And, and so how do you help them discern between what they can do and what they're called to do?

Because yeah, anyway, let me stop there.

What they can do and what they're called to do.

I think it's a process of elimination really.

That word called, you know, calling, we often think of spiritual.

We think, you know, someone's called to the cloth or something like that.

But the, in the original believe Greek, that word, the word is Kleitos and Kleitos means an invitation.

And so I think it's reminding those women to kind of pause and look at what is God, what is life inviting them to do right now?

And are they saying yes to.

Are they saying yes to that?

So whose invitation are they currently responding to?

Whose invitation are they currently responding to?

Who?

Is it the children?

Is it the spouse?

Is it a partner?

Is it the job?

Is it social media?

Is it, you know, in my internal voice, like whose yes am I currently responding to?

And I think that's a really good place to start with peeling back, you know, call, you know, versus.

Yeah.

Is there, is there, is there a linkage to.

There to intentional, like absolutely.

Being, being, being deliberate.

And.

And so much of the work that I do, like you said, is about intentionality.

It's about looking at my time, my energy, like just everything.

Like even in this season, the intentionality around my wardrobe, like, right, because I'm like I'm in a particular season.

I know what's required for me.

I don't need any disruptions.

Like I have about three or four of the same or similar two piece coordinate sets because I just can't.

I just think, yeah, I just can't.

I have some.

I need to be able to just jump into something clean and not overthink it.

Right.

And so there has to be a level of intention when you're operating at that level of, of output in your life, you.

Nothing can be wasted.

Nothing can be wasted.

My response these days is usually I don't have enough estrogen for that.

Like, I'm, I'm, I'm.

I have minimal estrogen, minimal iron, minimal, minimal.

There's capacity draw.

I'm watching my levels and I have.

And I spend it minimal time.

And I literally, I envision it like currency, like dollars in my hand.

And I decide like, like, how am I gonna.

How am I gonna.

Gotta be intentional.

And I think that that is so, so much.

I want to touch on like one, the first one that comes to mind when you said, like the coordinates, like coordinating how much like your outfits.

Right.

Like, as I, I get that as well.

Like, even when I'm traveling, people wouldn't know this, but I have, There's a certain amount, there's certain outfits that I have ready packing them.

They're going to Ottawa.

When I come back, they get cleaned.

Maybe they don't go on the next trip.

They go on the trip.

If you pay attention to the pattern, you'll see that I'm probably wearing this.

Yeah, but, but all of that, I learned that from my mother because there's something called decision fatigue.

Yes.

My mom is a master at this.

She has one winter coat, one winter boot, like one pair of jeans.

Like, yeah.

She's like, there's, like there's not.

Which jean is she gonna wear?

Here are her jeans.

That's right.

Here's the top she's wearing with it.

Here's the jacket she's putting on.

Here's the boots, and she's out.

She doesn't even have to think about it.

It's all she has.

And as we get older and as we get as more life happens, I believe that what you just touched on there is, is so value added about removing the amount of decisions that you have to make so you have capacity.

The other thing I want to ask you was because I kind of felt this in what you were saying, and I want to make sure if it's similar.

So as I think about, like the question about like how you help them discern what I can do versus what I'm called to do.

And I, and I like the distinction that you made.

Like, it's not, it's not sort of this godly call.

It's, it's, it's sort of, I think, what's calling what.

What's asked.

What's what's the ask of you and where is it coming from?

I also want to ask you, like, if it's in the context of paying attention to the things that exhaust you, right.

Like, like, you get to the end of your work week and you're just exhausted.

You know, is there something in some truth in there that potentially.

Like, back to that same question.

There was a lot you did over the course of the week that wasn't for you to do.

Mm.

And because you didn't take the time to, like, sort of think intentionally that you're like, what's your thoughts around that?

Absolutely.

I call it sweat equity.

Right.

Like, we don't consider how much sweat equity goes into getting something.

And when we are misaligned, the weight and the pull of life is that much heavier.

So if you think about our physical body, and I remember getting this.

This image after going to the chiropractor for the first time, like, if you've ever had any part of your body misaligned, spine, a wrist or something, whatever you have to do becomes that much heavier, that much more painful.

New pains show up as a result of the fact that I am misaligned.

So a huge indicator is that level of deep exhaustion that sleep does not cure.

Because when I am misaligned, life, it creates a.

It creates two things.

It creates a dis.

Ease.

And if.

If left for too long, disease.

Right.

So we definitely.

It's because it's not just that exhaustion.

It's often exhausted.

And man, my head has been hurting or, you know, my digestion has been off or, you know, like, I'm bloated, there's aches.

Like, it shows up.

And we think our.

Our body is the issue, but what it really is is our internal and our.

Our.

And more specifically, our internal purpose, alignment.

So could the opposite.

Could there be another way of this as well, where you have women who are massively productive, right.

And achieving and not exhausted.

Like, they're on, like that, that.

That.

That dopamine hit every time they.

They hit a goal, they.

They land something or they get.

They get some type of reward for the work that they're doing.

But then when they.

When they sit in their.

When they sit in this.

In the.

In the quiet of themselves, they're like, what's the meaning?

Like, what am I?

Yeah, what's that disease?

Right?

It's that.

This.

It's that dis.

Ease and it's going to visit you.

So I think busyness is not the same thing as productivity, Right.

And I think that because we are busy and maybe things are getting done.

And again, it's whose invitation are you responding to?

Right, so who cares if you're ticking off things on a checklist over on this left column when really you're supposed to be operating in this right column?

Like, are you truly being productive or are you actually just super busy?

And so that gratification and that satisfaction that comes from taking things off, crossing, crossing them off, it'll visit you.

It visits you in your sleep.

For a lot of people, it visits you in those pauses.

And again, the dis.

Ease may not feel the same as it does for someone else, but that's why I said if left too long, the disease definitely.

Yeah, like, that's one we can escape.

So this productivity is productivity.

How do I add this?

Productivity 100 mean purpose.

Absolutely not.

Okay, so you could be productivity and still misaligned.

You could be productive and still misaligned.

You can be product and misaligned, you can be still and in alignment.

So I'm gonna say that again.

You can be productive and misaligned, but you can be still and be in purpose.

Yeah.

And because that truth exists for a lot of us, especially high capacity women, life does happen and it slows us down.

And we have to be still, not by choice.

And that stillness, because like I said, it visits us, right?

We start to question our identity, we start to question our value, we start to question our sense of self worth because we are used to, we're used to the equation of productivity equals purpose, which is not true.

Right?

So can I be still and still be convinced that I add value to the world and I not produce and still know that I am important?

Like, it doesn't change the price tag on me.

Wow, that last part, like, I'm not

on sale or on clearance because I'm not, you know, And I go through that.

I'm speaking from which I know, like, I'm not speaking as an insider being, like looking in from a window in windows.

I'm speaking from a very personal place of, you know, when life slows you, slows you down.

And like, when I'm used to writing and, you know, devotionals are coming out and the calendar is full and I'm speaking and it feels great.

And then, so what does it mean when no one's inviting me?

So it's interesting because in our B roll, we had a such a great B roll, by the way.

I came into this episode so refreshed and renewed and elevated.

You got to spend some time in the call.

But I mentioned that last year was a sneak peek, I think, to life's coming attraction.

And 20.

And I consider 20, 24 drought.

And so I'm thinking what you just said, because there was less activity, I was actually forced to sit in my stillness more.

It felt very uncomfortable.

Very.

Yeah,

but this is so.

This is so great because I did get through the year, but I sat in that discomfort wondering, am I still relevant?

Right?

You know, what happened to all the, like, gigs?

Like, am I still gonna get any?

What does this mean?

The fear of being, you know, irrelevant and forgotten.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's a hard one.

That is a hard one.

Yeah.

And I think there's a lot of.

I think that's what keeps people in situations for a really, really long time when long.

The.

The time to pivot and to turn and evolve is long past, right?

Is.

Is that need to feel relevant, you know, so we've talked about in boxing who you're created to be.

And what do women really.

What do women usually have to unlearn before they.

This is continually on.

It is some of that conversation we had about the things that we have to, like, move from, but to really step into that identity.

And I love the identity.

I could talk about identity all day long, but.

But, yeah.

What would that be?

I think the.

Their concept and notion around rest.

So I think it piggybacks on what we're just talking about.

I think that we've got a lot of work to do around how we see rest.

So many of us walk around with the belief that we have to earn rest.

Some of us come from backgrounds where we didn't see the women around us rest.

Some of us come from stories where rest was condemned, right?

You were told you were lazy if you rested.

Right?

And so I think that because rest is so.

Because rest increases a lot of things, rest increases, I always say, resiliency.

Rest increases creativity.

But rest also increases clarity.

And so when we don't have a healthy perspective on rest, again, it's piggybacking on what we're saying to two things happens.

It messes with our sense of perception and clarity, right?

But it.

But it also creates this.

This vacuum that we sit in where when we are.

When life does sit us down and require us to rest because we have this.

This unhealthy relationship with rest and ideas about rest.

It messes with how we see our life and our.

In our sense of worth.

So two.

Two things are happening.

Our clarity, right, Is.

Is being.

Is being clouded in our sense of.

And henceforth Our sense of identity gets clouded when, when rest isn't held in its.

In its rightful place.

It's so important.

God rested.

Yes, God rested.

I rested.

The creator of the universe rested.

And, and so, you know, we.

If I'm like, my gosh, if God kid could do that and model that, I believe he needed.

I believe he was modeling it.

I believe it was him giving us permission.

I have a question for you because I think the first thing that might come to a listener that's coming, and it's interesting because we actually did a.

An episode specifically on something I, I learned from Pastor Rick Warren that said don't rest from work, work from rest.

Yes.

So when we talk about rest, because for some people that might equal sleep, which it is.

Right.

Or might equal having to take a vacation or this, any other.

But when I am resting or when I'm taking rest, talk.

Can you talk to us about what it would feel like?

Because I think it could be personal for each of us, especially when you think about what he's saying.

I, I try to incorporate pockets of rest every single day.

Right.

You know, with it throughout my day.

Yeah, so what, what, like how.

What would be the tenants outside of sleep and taking a vacation?

Yeah.

Yeah.

So Dr. Sandra Dalton Smith has an incredible book called Sacred Rest.

I highly recommend it.

And she talks about the seven types of rest.

She's a medical doctor, therapist, all the things.

And she wrote this in this incredible book, and she talks about the different kinds of rest.

And yeah, sleep isn't just it.

We just think, oh, I got enough sleep, or I don't need as much sleep as the average person.

But it talks about, you know, the need to.

For creative rest, psychological rest, you know, and I, I know that I'm.

I'm misnaming them like this is not exactly how they're labeled in her book, but like, almost like a rest from technology.

Right.

And so there's a quiz you can actually do that kind of shows you the area of rest that you may be needing to focus on in the season.

And so I highly recommend people to grab the book or just run on over it.

You can do the quiz by going on her website, but we're not just talking about sleep here, but, you know, Psycho.

Yes, I touched on it.

Psychological technology, creative rest.

There's just so many other areas that we really need to be touching on.

And so, yeah, I'm glad that you brought that up because rest is not just about sleeping.

Some of us sleep and we wake up exhausted because it's not the kind of rest that we really need.

Our mind is not at rest.

Our emotions are not at rest.

And so we need to.

Again, that word intention.

We need to be intentional about identifying the kind of rest that is needed.

So much so that in like addiction recovery there is this, this acronym that is used called halt.

And in addiction recovery, part of what is taught is that anytime that you find you should never.

You should never.

You should halt if you find any of these things happening in your life.

And so you should.

You should never allow yourself to get to H is hungry.

Sometimes I say to my clients, like, no, you know, you just need a nap.

Okay.

No, never really should.

Just never too hungry.

Never too angry.

A angry.

L never too lonely.

And the T is never too tired.

So hungry, angry, lonely and tired.

And I think those lean into areas of rest in our life as well that we need to be paying attention to before this.

So I.

So this is.

So we batch our episodes.

So recording this on a Friday.

It's well before we publish because we batch.

We batch the season, but it's a Friday when we're recording this.

And interesting.

I had an amazing conversation with mine and my leaders to end the day.

And it was just laughter.

We like, I mean like my head was back.

I, you know, and, and, and it's so funny because I recognized that after that I took a call that started at 4:15.

We laughed probably from like 3:55 to like 4:16 because that was a minute joining late.

Love it.

And I, and I realize now that we're talking about this, my whole week I distressed like I don't feel any weight from the week.

And so laughter is a form of rest.

Because I think to your point, what you're trying to say earlier was my brain rested from whatever were all the circling thoughts of the things maybe I didn't get done during the course of the week.

My emotions, like there was no anxiety.

No like just laugh.

So laughter is rest.

Yes.

You know, anything.

Yeah.

I love, like anyway, so love that we're talking about this.

Wow.

Can't believe the time is ticking.

But I, I want to.

I, I want to get into a little bit about confidence.

Right.

It being to your work.

And so from your perspective, how does confidence rooted in identity differ from confidence built on performance and validation?

Yeah.

Because it's shifting.

Yeah.

And it can't it confidence that is built on performance or any of that stuff.

It can never be satiated.

Because what happens, let's say you're performing really well on a job and that Makes you feel good.

Well, what happens when you lose the job?

Job, Right?

Let's say your confidence is, is anchored in a particular relationship and that relationship ends.

What is that?

What does it do to your sense of self?

And so I.

Confidence, you know, an identity.

They're so linked together because performance cannot be satiated.

It's, it's like, you know, it's always moving, always changing, always demanding more, always.

Right.

Demanding us to do more, show up more, work harder, hustle, hustle, go, go.

And it's always changing.

And that if you talk about rest, nothing can, can bring us out of rest than, than that.

Then riding that kind of emotional wave and, and flux.

Like, am I good today?

Right?

Did I get enough likes?

Do I have enough follows?

Did I book enough gigs that I do enough?

Right?

And it's kind of like, did I, did I, did I?

And you're constantly panting and, you know, and chasing after something that can't be caught.

But when confidence is anchored in, in what you know, over what you do, that is powerful.

So that works well for people who are, who really understand their identity.

Because I still.

Because I do believe maybe.

And you work with clients whose identity is in their work, in their relationships, in there.

So you're really talking about an identity that's rooted in like, like God, I'm like.

Or something bigger than.

So, yeah, absolutely.

Something.

Yeah, something bigger.

And I think it's kind of.

It's an interchange, right?

Because like, I think about, there's this.

There's a story in the Bible about this woman at the well.

And you know, she's a bit of.

She has like a, you know, a ratchety history of being with all of these men.

And so she has to go at an awkward time of the day, like the sun is its hottest and no one pulls water at that time.

But she goes then, because the other women aren't there and she can kind of get water in peace.

And so this is where she, you know, encounters Jesus.

And so he starts talking to her.

He's asking her questions that he knows the answers to about who she is, right?

Like, he's like, so where your man at?

Right?

And she's like, well, actually, I don't have a man.

He's like, you, right?

Because even the one you're with, yours either, right?

They get into this really provocative conversation.

But what's beautiful is she starts asking her like, like, who's this man who's like, telling me about myself?

You know?

And so as she's getting to know him, she's as.

She's seeing more about him, she's seeing more about her, herself.

And so there's this beautiful exchange.

And so I think when I, when I say it's grounded in the knowing, you're absolutely right.

It's.

It's being rooted in something bigger than ourselves.

Right.

But it's also when I say the knowing, I want to give encouragement to the person who may feel like, but what happens when you don't know?

Like, I just don't know who I am.

Right.

For whatever reason, like life has happened and it's distorted it.

Crisis, grief, all trauma, all the things that, that shift us and shake us at our core.

This is why I believe in it.

I don't want to call it fake, fake it till you make it.

I, I'd call it faith it.

Faith it till you make it.

Right.

So there are some parts of who I am that I am not convinced yet.

I know them to be true in glimmers.

And so here's what I mean by that.

I always say to my clients, write down clarity when you get clarity.

So if you're listening to this podcast and you got a glimmer that in, in 30 seconds of this podcast, something came to you that was true about who you are, write that down.

Because there will be seasons that will shake you at your core, that will throw everything you thought you knew about who you are at out the window.

And you will need something to go back to that, you know, you wrote at a time with clarity and assurity and confidence that you can trust.

And for those who anchor themselves in something bigger, in addition to journaling those thoughts, it's the word of God and going back to scripture.

But in addition to scripture, I'm writing down what I'm learning and what as God is revealing truth to me, about me.

Because I don't believe it every day.

I don't believe, I don't believe.

I don't believe it every day.

But I gotta go back and I gotta remind myself.

Truth, not affirmations that we downloaded off of somebody's website that gives them motivation, but truth about me.

And, and, and it's, it's so important that we hear it.

And having it written down somewhere means this is, this is how empowering this concept is.

Having it written down somewhere is so empowering because it means I don't have to wait for someone else to, to tell me.

I don't have to wait for the right conference, right book, right podcast, right situation to hopefully hear something that's going to Give me strength.

I can take it out and I can say it out loud and I can speak to myself and speak myself into the direction that I need to be going and the posture that I need to be standing.

Because you, you will not believe it every day.

And it doesn't mean you're not confident.

It just means that in this moment, I'm not clear.

Because confidence isn't a feeling.

It's a knowing.

And people ask me all the way, you're so motivated.

How are you so confident?

I'm not.

I am not.

I am clear.

I am clear about who I am, and I am clear about who called me.

And so if you ever catch me on a confidence, you know, kind of spree, it's, it's not because I think that I'm, I'm better and I got it going on and all of that, and you know what I mean?

It's, it's, it's not about that.

It's because I'm.

It's not about a feeling.

It's not how I.

About how I felt when I woke up that day.

I didn't feel it when I came on this podcast.

I wasn't feeling it.

When we connected, I wasn't feeling it.

But I am clear.

I am clear about who I am.

I am clear about the mandate.

And sometimes I go, I have, I have.

Lord help me, I keep saying it.

I'm gonna have to do it.

I have cassette tapes.

Don't laugh at me.

I have cassette tapes over 25 years old of recordings of just beautiful words of affirmation about who I am being said to me.

Beautiful, prophetic words that I go back to and listen, listen to in times of drought to realign me.

In my phone, I have notes that are dated.

It'll say the date, it'll say who said it.

And I go back and I read through them because I need something to re anchor me.

So this is powerful.

I know.

I've been talking for a while.

No, I think it's great.

I was actually just because so much about what you said, I just, I'm.

I'm double clicking on a couple of them.

But like I do every single month.

I do like.

So these are January and, And as I'm going through my day, it could be things I'm listening to or this, any other.

I'm writing them down.

And in the B roll, I think there was one that I said to you that came from Sarah, Sarah Jakes Roberts, where talked about my existence is evidence of God's faith.

And My ability that.

To navigate this life that you've given me.

But I think what's really important, Nicole, that I want to pull out from everyone is you have to do what she said.

Doing it in the days of clarity are so important.

Don't waste those seasons, because this too shall pass APPL to seasons of clarity and seasons of uncertainty.

Right.

And fear and.

And.

And scarcity.

And.

And what I love about that is that it.

It is always about having something in you to reach back into, to bring out when you need it.

Because if you think in a season of uncertainty and scarcity that you are suddenly going to be inspired.

Yeah.

To go and figure out some of this stuff.

You're not.

It has to already be implanted.

Yeah.

That's good.

Yo,

ma'.

Am.

You took me there.

It was not disturbing.

I was like, yo, preach.

Go on.

You took me there.

So I have to ask, please, just to show what's possible.

Yeah.

Please.

In your words.

Yeah.

I am.

Oh.

I am.

A force.

I am.

Oh.

Can I keep going?

Or you just wanted.

Did you see me?

This feels good.

I could.

Please.

I. I.

Go on, enjoy this.

I am a force.

I am a disruptor.

I am a strategist.

I am a shifter.

I am a builder.

I am.

And then.

Let's lighten it.

I am funny.

I am lovable.

I have to.

I say that that one is just for me because I gotta remind.

We were talking about this.

I gotta remind myself that I am lovable when the world tells me otherwise.

I am lovable.

I am deserving of love.

Yeah.

I love that.

I love that.

And it's funny, because I actually enjoy being a blessing to others.

And of late, just life has challenged that.

And I had to.

And I almost doubted that my name means God's gift.

All right.

And so I should be a gift in everybody's life.

But I recognize you're only a gift to those you're assigned it to.

And so I say all of that, too, because to what you said earlier and everything that you just said, there.

There's gonna be pockets of times where you're in a season or a moment as you were speaking, that I'm a strategist.

I.

You know, I am lovable.

Where you'll be in a situation where someone's trying to tell you otherwise.

Yeah.

And why it's so important to write.

Write those down and repeat them to yourselves all the time so that you can go back and recall it, not figure it out then to what they're saying.

Because I believe the Two can be true.

Yeah.

My.

My kind of mantra in this season is I believe me.

Oh, that's a big one.

I'm naturally.

Yeah.

I'm naturally a deeply introspective person.

Like, even as a child, like, if something happens, I'm always gonna start with me.

I'm always gonna start with not did I do something wrong?

But I try to look for myself in and what that creates.

And I'm an introvert, too, so what that creates, if you, like, live in that pocket too long, is you start to.

To undo all the things about who you are.

And so in this season, I'm having to believe myself again, you know?

And when you say, like, remembering who you are and what's the response when someone hits me with something I don't believe, I don't agree with you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't come into agreement.

I'm introspective.

I'm not saying I'm perfect, but that I don't agree with you.

Yeah.

So this is a I believe me season for me.

Yeah.

And you're allowed.

What was it?

I'm allowed and I'm allowed to.

And now I'm full circle.

Right?

We just got this full circle.

I love it.

I believe me and I'm allowed to.

Yes.

So now I'm going to take you through our rapid thrivers.

Go for it.

Yeah.

So when you think of someone who inspires you, comes first to mind in this season.

Yeah.

Jackie Hill Perry.

Oh, who's that?

I should know.

She is a Bible teacher, rapper.

She's a few things.

She's a force.

Yeah, she's.

She's.

She's many things.

And yeah, I love how consistent she seems.

I say seems because I don't know her personally, but yeah.

A daily activity that helps you with your thrive.

A daily activity that helps me with my thrive.

Journaling a book that has helped you with your thrive outside of yours.

Because I will share yours the way.

Practicing the way by Mark.

Mark.

John McCormur, I think is his name.

Something.

I'll also share the book that you talked about earlier around Rest.

Yeah.

What is an app that helps you with your thrive?

Ah, strangely, like, I have an iPhone.

The health app.

The health app has been a big part of my thrive in this season.

And what is one misconception that people have of you is they see you in your thrive.

That I'm really serious.

Yeah.

Like, there's a.

There's.

There's this.

Like I said, I'm funny.

Like, there's this softer comedic side to Me that not everyone gets to enjoy nearly enough.

I think so.

I think that people think that I'm just really, like, serious and nose to the plow and, like, no mess around.

But, like, when you talk about laughter, it's.

I. Yeah, it's my go to.

Wow.

I love that.

Yeah.

And so where do we find more of you online?

Yeah, absolutely.

Just look for me by name.

Nicole.

O. Salmon.

I always say salmon is spelled like the fish.

And don't forget the O in the middle.

And I have a. I have a parting question to ask you before I do.

You are the first.

First guest of season eight.

No pressure.

No pressure.

No, no.

I think this is great.

And I'm actually.

So Stephen Bartlett does this thing that I was like, oh, you know what?

I'm gonna steal it.

But I don't think he does it live.

Okay.

It's either.

So I'm actually thinking I'm trying this out with you for the first time because you're the first.

So it's either a question.

Okay.

Or you get to share a piece of wisdom with the next guest that you don't even know who it is.

Okay.

So do you want to ask them a question that I'll ask them, or do you want to share a piece of wisdom that you'd like them to carry to pay forward?

Do I want to add.

This is good.

Do I want to ask them question

or give them a piece of wisdom that they can pay forward?

I want to ask them a question.

Okay.

What's the question?

What is something that you've had to either A, forgive yourself for or B, give yourself permission to do that has shifted the trajectory of how you live life now.

Thank you.

And for your final question.

Okay, finish this for me because in this season of Life, Yes, I am empowered in my skin when.

Oh, I am.

I've got to look at the camera for this.

Okay.

So I am empowered in my skin when I do not apologize for being who I am.

Oh, my gosh, I want to cry.

And you shouldn't.

I.

We're bringing you back, everybody.

She's going to be on an Empowering Bites episode.

We just have to figure it out because there is something that she shared.

It was on breakfast TV.

Was it?

Or CP24.

It was one of the street.

Huntley Street.

Huntley Street.

Huntley street.

That's right.

100 Huntley Street.

Yeah.

I really want to bring you back in for your wisdom, but I can tell you something.

Like I can spend time with you and feel.

Always feel renewed, refreshed elevated, ready to, like, fly.

Like.

Yeah.

I'm so grateful for you, Nicole.

I'm grateful for how you lean in on your skills and your talents and gifts unapologetically.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Always elevating, never shifting.

Like, you're just.

You're.

Thank you.

You're amazing.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yeah.

And to everyone that's listening, this is Sally, where I have to say, we're out.

Bye.

Bye.

Thank you for tuning in to the Empowered in My Skin podcast.

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And remember, empowered humans empower humans.

Until next time, I'm your girl and I'm out.