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Navigating Expectations and Perfectionism with Self Care and Authenticity
Episode 7724th July 2024 • The Fire Inside Her; Self Care for Navigating Change • Diane Schroeder
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Explore the personal evolution of Michele Johnston on this episode of The Fire Inside Her. Host Diane Schroeder sits down with Michele, who transitioned from a traditional religious upbringing to becoming a beacon of empowerment for women in midlife. Michele shares her experience of overcoming societal pressures and rediscovering her authentic self. Learn how she navigated the complexities of midlife rediscovery, empowered her children, and embraced self-care routines that evolve with time. Tune in for an inspiring conversation on reclaiming happiness, self-love, and breaking free from imposed expectations. Whether you're curious about personal growth or seeking motivation to live authentically, this episode is packed with insights to light your inner fire!

Michele Johnston was raised within the confines of a strict religious ideology that delineated a clear image of the perfect wife, mother, and woman. Influenced by her mentors, teachers, and above all, her mother, Michele formed a vision of herself as the ideal housewife, devoted solely to family and homemaking. This traditional path was something she eagerly anticipated and considered her ultimate purpose in life.

However, as she reached the age of 18, Michele began to break away from these rigid expectations. In hindsight, she recognizes this period of rebellion as the first time she truly connected with her own identity, distinct from the roles she had been conditioned to fulfill. Through this pivotal experience, Michele embarked on a journey of self-discovery, uncovering who she really was beyond the expectations placed upon her.

How to connect with Michele Johnston:

www.michelejohnstonspeaks.com

Instagram -

@fiercelyauthenticcoaching

How to connect with Diane:

www.thefireinsideher.com 

Diane@Thefireinsideher.com 

Instagram -

@TheRealFireInHer 

LinkedIn-

www.linkedin.com/in/dianeschroeder5/

Are you excited to get a copy of the Self Care Audio download that Diane mentioned?

You can get that HERE –TheFireInsideHer.com/audio

If you enjoyed this episode, take a minute and share it with someone you know who will find

value in it as well. You can share directly from this platform or send them to:

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Transcripts

We feel it is important to make our podcast transcripts available for accessibility. We use quality artificial intelligence tools to make it possible for us to provide this resource to our audience. We do have human eyes reviewing this, but they will rarely be 100% accurate. We appreciate your patience with the occasional errors you will find in our transcriptions. If you find an error in our transcription, or if you would like to use a quote, or verify what was said, please feel free to reach out to us at connect@37by27.com.

Diane Schroeder [:

Welcome to The Fire Inside Her. A brave space to share stories of navigating life transitions with authenticity, using our inner fire to light the way, and self care as our loyal travel companion. I'm your host, Diane Schroeder, and I'm so grateful you are here.

Diane Schroeder [:

Hello, fiery soul. Today's pod date is with Michele Johnston, whose journey to authenticity and self discovery is courageous. Michele shares her story of growing up in a strict religious environment, the pressures of early marriage and motherhood, and the pivotal moments that led her to reclaim her true self. I love her story, her energy, and her sense of humor. Authenticity, the importance of self care, and breaking free from societal expectations are core parts of our conversation. Michele opens up about her health battles, the emotional journey through her divorce, and how forgiveness and grace were vital to her healing. We talk about the complexities of change, the impact on family relationships, and how the universe plays a role in finding love when you're truly ready, not when you think you're ready. Now, Michele is a motivational speaker and empowerment coach.

Diane Schroeder [:

She encourages women to live their best lives, embrace their imperfections, and continuously evolve to be the best versions of themselves on their journey of authenticity. Alright. Hello, friend. Today, I am really excited to talk about someone who is as passionate about authenticity as I am. Welcome, Michele Johnston.

Michele Johnston [:

Thank you so much for having me. I'm super excited. Obviously, my energy is bouncing off of the walls today.

Diane Schroeder [:

It is. It's contagious. I'm not sure where you're located, but I can feel it through the interwebs all the way to Colorado.

Michele Johnston [:

We're not too far. I'm in California, so not too far fetched.

Diane Schroeder [:

Perfect. Perfect. Alright. Well, let's get started with the icebreaker question. I would love to know what your favorite go to junk food is.

Michele Johnston [:

Oh, wowzers. Okay. Actually, I made it sound like I actually had to think about it. Cake. Okay.

Diane Schroeder [:

Perfect. Any particular kind of cake?

Michele Johnston [:

You know, kind of depends on my mood. But I'm usually a white on white kind of girl. Vanilla cake with white buttercream frosting. If you got 1 of those chunky roses, even better. Oh,

Diane Schroeder [:

I love it. I love it. You can't go wrong with cake. Perfect. Well, thank you for sharing that. And I guess we're just gonna dive right in because I I was stalking you on your website and your passion just, you know, and your energy just exudes from you. I wanna know a little bit about what happened to kind of incite this radical authenticity that you talk about and inspire people.

Michele Johnston [:

Yeah. Wow. Yeah. It's definitely a 180 kinda story.

Diane Schroeder [:

I love it.

Michele Johnston [:

My backstory is is that I was raised in this really strict religious ideology of what the perfect wife, mom, woman really should be. And so I had these teachers and these mentors and these women that I looked up to. And, you know, of course, my mom was up there on the pedestal too. And I had all these ideas of how I was going to be when I grew up, the type of woman I was going to be, and that housewife and the home I was going to create. And I genuinely felt like my sole purpose in life was to be a wife and a mother. And I was super excited and couldn't wait for that day to happen. That being said, like most of us, I hit the age of 18 and got a little rebellious. And that's that's when I actually, in hindsight, see that I tapped into who Michele really was for the first time in ever.

Michele Johnston [:

And, of course, all the red flags went up, and what the hell are you doing? Like, this is a completely opposite of what you've been taught. But I was truly and honestly living my best life. I was authentic. I was swearing. Oh, my gosh. Don't swear. You know? And I was just having the time of my life. And, you know, but those flags were going up.

Michele Johnston [:

And around the age of 20, I started getting that nagging voice in the back of my head saying, listen, you need to start thinking about settling down, getting married, and starting a family because that is how I was raised to think. And I was like, okay, okay. Yeah, I'm a little, like, unhinged here. Like, I need someone to reel me back in. And so I I found that young man that was quiet, conservative, and I was like, oh, perfect balance to this crazy redhead life I'm living. So I did. I got married when I was 23 and had my first of 4 children at 23 as well. And, life was complete.

Michele Johnston [:

I dove headfirst into those roles of wife and mom and didn't look back. Unfortunately, I was still trying to live up to these expectations. Okay. I got to this point. Now I got to create the perfect home, and I've gotta look like my house and my home life and my family is perfect on the outside too. So I was trying to put on this huge facade of everything being put together and perfection. But at home, I was not reaching those expectations. And, you know, to be honest, a lot of them I had were self inflicted.

Michele Johnston [:

You know, I had put them in my head. I needed to be this way. And I wasn't reaching those expectations. So then it would become self critical, and then I would become depressed and unhappy. And, of course, I take it out of my family, and then I beat myself up, and, you know, the cycle goes over and over and over. So, yeah, I was in this crazy cycle of trying to be Martha Stewart on steroids, and it wasn't working out for me. And it wasn't sustainable. It is so not sustainable.

Michele Johnston [:

I tried, and it was not sustainable. And, I was super unhappy. And it was coming out in my home, and I felt super inadequate and unworthy, really, because I'd beat myself so much to be a mom to these kids and this life that I had. And a real big pivotal point for me was when my youngest went off to preschool, and huge milestone for any mom, when all the kids are off to school and you have free time all of a sudden. Mhmm. But for me, I came home, did my chores, all that good stuff. And then I found myself sitting in the silence of my home going, what now? And I had my total, oh, shit moment because I didn't even know where to begin. I had completely lost myself in motherhood.

Michele Johnston [:

Mhmm. And I didn't have any hobbies outside of kids' crafts. I didn't have any interests. I was always devoted and volunteering and doing all the things. I had no idea what to do with myself nor where to even begin. Mhmm. And so that was a huge pivotal point in my journey towards rediscovering myself and, quite honestly, learning to love myself for probably the first time in my entire life.

Diane Schroeder [:

Yeah. That's tough work. That is. That is very, very tough work. Thank you for sharing all of that. If you don't mind me asking, how old were you when that happened, when you were sitting alone trying to figure it all out?

Michele Johnston [:

It was 2014 ish, so I was about 37, 38 years old.

Diane Schroeder [:

And I asked that because I had a very similar not similar experience that you had, but a very similar, like, what the hell do I do now? Like, what what what is what is life? What does this mean? What do I like? What do I want? What's next? And Mhmm. I I call it the you know, that I was not only in rock bottom, but I found a trapdoor, and I was in the basement of rock bottom that I didn't know where to go with my life. And for me, it was authenticity that kind of was the compass to get out of it, and that was, you know, at least the starting point. So what did you do? What what was next when you realized, like, oh, man. You got some tough choices and a lot of, a lot of stuff to sift through.

Michele Johnston [:

Mhmm. Well, first, I have to say, authenticity being your compass, like, holy shit, really? That's like 0 to a 100. Like, that's the scariest piece, is to embrace your authenticity. Yes.

Diane Schroeder [:

It's it's It's good. You. Well, it's a journey. I, I found a lot of potholes along the way Okay. For sure. But I describe it as that was the glue, you know, for me, and I was a single mom at the time. And I was like, man, we've gotta figure this out because it wasn't sustainable. What I was doing was no longer working, and I was like, I might as well just try being me and see where that gets me.

Michele Johnston [:

Yeah. Well, and here you go.

Diane Schroeder [:

Here I am.

Michele Johnston [:

With my last child, I had become prediabetic, and I had chronic hypertension. So when I stripped everything down and realized I was bottom of the totem pole and what could I do for myself, you know, taking care of my health was kind of the obvious choice. And not only did that come with kind of nutrition and starting movement in my life, but it's when I kinda discovered the self love piece too and realized that in order to take care of myself, I had to love myself, too. So podcasts weren't a thing, really, at that time. YouTube was the thing. And so I started looking on YouTube for any influencer, any woman that her message, like, resonated with me. Like, I felt like she understood because, you know, to be honest, I couldn't talk to any of my friends because they were all in this world I was trying to leave behind. And I couldn't talk to my husband because, you know, men.

Michele Johnston [:

And, they usually don't get it. So, I was grasping for straws, looking for anything with self love, self care, empowerment, to help strengthen and lift me up. And so I started following my influencers. I started with my movement. And that's really how my self love journey started. As far as rediscovery, I stripped that down, too. And I was like, okay, what are my interests? What are I? Well, I always take our family's Christmas photos because I always have this vision, and no 1 else can get it just right, so I always do it. And so I thought, I wonder if there's a photography class in my area.

Michele Johnston [:

And lo and behold, our community college does adult ed, and they had a photography course. 6 weeks, low investment, boom, I was there. And I learned how to use my fancy camera. And then I was like, you know, I kinda always wanted to learn about stocks and training. What the heck? I signed up for another class. And these things had just started spiraling, and 1 thing led to opening the doors for another thing and another curiosity. And I started getting really curious about life and started what I like to call, wouldn't it be cool if list? I love it.

Diane Schroeder [:

I love it.

Michele Johnston [:

I was learning to love myself. I was taking care of myself, you know, health and nutrition, and then I was expanding my mind and learning new things and evolving and growing, and 1 thing led to another. And talk about 0 to a 100. I'm kind of that girl too. I was like, you know, the gym's fun and all, and I love lifting heavy. It's super, like, therapeutic for me. I'm going to start pushing my boundaries. I start getting too comfortable.

Michele Johnston [:

I'm going to do a fitness competition. Wow. And in fact, I did 3. And Good for you. So I was like, okay. So I call it my sister wife to hot wife phase. And 6, I have names for all of my phases. Yeah.

Michele Johnston [:

Oh, I love it. And I went from, you know, frumpy me to on the stage with my bling bikini and my hooker heels doing my thing. And it was, like, the most liberating thing I've ever done in my life outside of giving birth. And and it was fantastic. And the thing was, is that I at this point, I had become so protective of this energy and the positive vibe that I was creating and the leveling up. I didn't share it with anyone because I was so afraid people would bring in their negativity and pooh pooh everything. And so I did this competition, and then I got on social media. So, this happened this weekend, and all of a sudden, my social media blew up.

Diane Schroeder [:

Oh, wow.

Michele Johnston [:

Friends and women were like, how did you do this? And how did you do this? And you're so inspiring. And I started getting contacted from athletic companies and stuff like that. And I was like, wow. And that's when I first tapped into, I really enjoy supporting and inspiring other women, and I think this is what I wanna do.

Diane Schroeder [:

What a great journey. Yeah. That what a great like, that's such a a cool story. Much respect. That is so amazing.

Michele Johnston [:

Thanks. Yeah. I just I I Well, now I really, like, get off on pushing my boundaries. So I think it's an adrenaline rush junkie kind of thing. But, you know, the thing is is that when you're pushing your boundaries, that's where the growth is too. So I you know, it's scary and exciting and, like, all the feels all at the same time, this growth process that we're constantly doing in life.

Diane Schroeder [:

I love the story. So how did you also you know, you found your what you love, you found supporting women, and you really did this curiosity journey where you were. How did that translate to healing? And maybe healing isn't the right word, but connecting with the younger versions of you that were just driven to be a wife and a mom. And how did you hold those tensions? And I asked because I'm curious because I'm working through that right now.

Michele Johnston [:

I mean, there's a lot there and that it is emotional healing and trying to sort through, like, you know, releasing these stories and these narratives that you've been carrying your entire life. And there was a moment where I was sitting in church, and it was Mother's Day. And everyone was sharing about their mothers and how wonderful they are, and they looked up to them. And I was sitting in the pew, and I was crying. I was, like, literally crying. And not because gratitude or I was crying because, for me, Mother's Day amplified all of my shortcomings. And so I was sitting there crying because I was feeling such a sense of unworthiness, not good enough, you know, I don't deserve this, All these things, and I was devastated. And it took me a few days to kind of cycle through this depression bit.

Michele Johnston [:

And then I came out of it and I was super pissed off. I was super pissed off that I had been taught so many things and had so many expectations in my head that it made me feel like I wasn't good enough, and it pissed me off. And so I was like, okay, there's gotta be a better way because I am not doing this again. I am good enough, and I deserve to be happy. And so that's when I first started to, like, really kind of break free of the narratives that I had been carrying. And once I got through the anger and realizing it was not serving me, then I went into a piece of forgiveness. And more so for myself, not so much for the people that had, you know, mentored me and whatnot, but more so for myself and that person who I had been for over half my life. And I forgave her for only doing what she knew how to do, what she had been taught and learned how to do.

Michele Johnston [:

And letting her know that you're okay, you're enough, and you were and you were doing good enough despite everything. So once I forgave, then I was able to be like, okay, reset. Here we go. And I started my journey giving myself a shit ton of grace because it was just like being a toddler all over again. It was learning a brand new life and learning me for, like, the first time, who the heck was I, And getting into touch with me. And so it was exciting, and it was scary, but it was definitely, like, this huge process of emotions to get there.

Diane Schroeder [:

It didn't just happen overnight?

Michele Johnston [:

No, ma'am.

Diane Schroeder [:

Darn it. I mean, no. III joke with that. I think a lot of times we want it to be an easy fix, and then I often think when I look back on the hard times, that's where you learn the most, first of all. And, like, it doesn't stick if it's fast. You know? And and I think when you talk about anger, it it's like anger is like that bad boy. It's fun to hang around with for a little bit, but it's not a long term solution for really anything. And I it's important to feel it, though.

Diane Schroeder [:

It's important to feel all the emotions, and I love what you said about grace, just giving yourself a bunch of grace because that is the it's messy. The whole unbecoming, unconditioning, rebecoming, loving yourself, you know, still being a mom because it's not like you stopped being a mom or wife. So what did your family what was their reaction to this new you, for lack of better terms?

Michele Johnston [:

Well, super supportive, and everything was fine. But, as you know, with leveling up often comes resistance. Yes. So I did this competition, and I did it out of state. And I came home and, you know, everything was great. Everyone's super supportive. And the next morning, my husband says to me after the kids went to school, Michele, we need a chat. We need to talk.

Michele Johnston [:

And I'm like, okay, Cool. Let's talk. And we sit down, and he's like, you know, I'm super proud of you and all of your accomplishments and stuff. But, you know, I you're now you're on social media all the time. I know people are coming into your dance. I just need to know, where do I stand as your husband now that you've done this and you have all this attention?

Diane Schroeder [:

And I was

Michele Johnston [:

like, what do you mean? Like, everything's the same. The outside's different, but the inside's the same. Mhmm. And, you know, long story short, a lot of his insecurities started to surface. Mhmm. And, you know, we tried to work through things for about 5 years, and what went from insecurities, it turned into controlling and ultimately psychologically abusive. Okay. And my parents and my family, everyone was super supportive from the outside because, you know, they didn't really see what was going on inside the home or the psychological, you know, stuff that was going on.

Michele Johnston [:

And so they did not see that part. So when I started talking about filing for a divorce and wanting out of the marriage, you bet I got the ox of the grass is not always greener on the other side. Yeah. Yeah. I finally got to a point where I thought I could handle it all on my own, but I needed the support. And I broke down, and I told my parents, like, everything. And then from that point on, like, it was team Michele, a 110%. That was quite honestly probably 1 of the darkest periods of my life because everything had been so fine, and I was doing so great, and I really wanted my husband along this journey with me and growing and just thriving together.

Michele Johnston [:

And that wasn't the case for me. So my marriage ended in a divorce. Mhmm. And so working through that was a whole other thing, and staying in my group was a whole other thing. But Yeah. Since I've been doing all this self love work and self worth work, when it came the day where I was faced with the decision of either choosing my happiness or going back to a place of stagnation, I was able to choose my happiness and move forward.

Diane Schroeder [:

That's beautiful. I love that. Congratulations to you. And and I I know that that is not easy. I don't talk a lot about my messy divorce, from the past because my son, he's still pretty young. I resonate with your story quite a bit. So that that takes a lot of courage, and my hat's off to you for doing that and choosing you and self care. And I think, you know, I don't believe that anything happens by accident.

Diane Schroeder [:

I think sometimes the medicine comes a little later. I wish that the medicine came immediately. Like, here's a tough situation. Here's the side note of how this is gonna help you in the future. Again, life doesn't work that way, but I, you know, I I would I would assume that the medicine in this for you is you started choosing yourself and creating this amazing foundation so that when you had to make a really hard choice, it wasn't that hard of a choice.

Michele Johnston [:

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, of course, you know, kids and all the things, and there was definitely times where I was like, is it worth it? Is it worth it?

Diane Schroeder [:

And Mhmm.

Michele Johnston [:

My mantras were, I deserve to be happy, and the universe has my back. And that's what carried me through, was just, if I'm not happy, then it's gonna trickle down to my kids. Mhmm. And so I got to a place where I was like, hopefully, I'm setting an example for them Mhmm. More than going back and being content and being unhappy and, honestly, passing on these generational traumas onto them. Amen. So we broke the cycle. Lady.

Diane Schroeder [:

We broke the cycle. Yes. Absolutely. And that needs to be celebrated more often, in my opinion. So congratulations for being a cycle breaker as well. So how does your life look now? Now now you've transitioned into, you know, being a badass, authentic human, what do you do now to inspire others, and how do you work with, you know, how do you work with supporting women?

Michele Johnston [:

So I life is fantastic. I mean, the kids keep getting older, but I'm pretty sure I don't. Duh.

Diane Schroeder [:

Of course not.

Michele Johnston [:

My maturity definitely doesn't. It still stays at, like, a 12 year old boy's own. But, you know, life is really fantastic. And, you know, as you know, when you finally tap into your true self and you're so aligned with your process and have so much self trust, it's amazing how things just kind of fall into place. Right. Yes. It's amazing how things just kind of fall into place. And, you know, quite honestly, like, I had my, you know, little ho phase after my divorce, but then I was like, okay, let's chill out, and let's just kind of work on yourself, you know? Because I had to heal from a lot of stuff, too.

Michele Johnston [:

And so I got to this place of being really okay with being alone

Diane Schroeder [:

Mhmm.

Michele Johnston [:

And really excited with the idea of have making my own choices and goals. And I didn't have to answer to anyone, and I could just I was getting super freaking excited. Mhmm. And then, like, 3 weeks later, this man drops into my life. Mhmm. And then I'll just you know? But, I mean, turns out, he's, like, my soul mate. He's, like, everything that I wrote down. I wanted Amanda to be and shout it out to the universe.

Michele Johnston [:

Mhmm. And, you know but that's kinda how the universe works. Like, when you least expect it, that's when it's gonna be given to you.

Diane Schroeder [:

Yes. When you're ready for it. Not when you think you're ready for it, but when you're really ready for it. And it's that letting go. I I love hearing this. It's similar how my husband and I connected. I did all the things. I made a list, and I just I let it go.

Diane Schroeder [:

I released it, and I thought, well, if it happens, it happens. If not, I've got an amazing life, and I'm really happy. And then it happened, and I was like, great.

Michele Johnston [:

Wait. Wait. What? What? Well, there goes my group. I mean, we've been together for 5 years, married. Kids are fantastic. I have really, really embraced my authenticity. And, you know, quite honestly, like, my imperfections are just, like, make me exactly who I'm supposed to be. And, you know, these are the things that I work with women and speak about.

Michele Johnston [:

So I am actively a motivational speaker, and I talk about breaking through these societal expectations and embracing our imperfections as the unique qualities that make us who we're meant to be and living this life of self love and authenticity. I work with women on the side doing some empowerment coaching, and specifically with women that are starting this journey of rediscovery towards their midlife awakening, and just being there to support and encourage and guide them on their process. So super exciting things, and life is pretty freaking fabulous now.

Diane Schroeder [:

I love hearing that. That's so exciting. I'm very happy for you. How is your relationship with your kids now that, you know, you've moved past the super messy stuff? Mhmm. And I I ask this because I think there's a lot of fear for women when they are in that tough decision. Do I stay or do I go? And, you know, it's about the kids. What about the kids? And I have an answer for my son, but I'm curious to hear, you know, hindsight being the gift that it is. How are the kids?

Michele Johnston [:

Mhmm. Well, so my kids are 23, 21, 17, and 15. So so my 2 young adult children, you know, it's been really cool to watch them navigate life as adults, and, of course, there's learning curves. But they're both professionals. They've both kind of stepped into their positions in life or in the workplace, and they have a voice. And for me, that's super exciting because I never felt like I had a voice Mhmm. Growing up, and I always felt like I had to follow. I was a follower, not a leader.

Michele Johnston [:

And my children, all 4 of them, have come out and grown up to be leaders and to have a voice and not be afraid to share their opinion or what they have to say. A big piece is that there's a lot of communication between me and my kids that's super, super, super important, and nothing's off limits. Mhmm. They know their self worth. They know that they're important. They know that they deserve to be happy. They know that they're enough, and they know that they don't, like I said, have to follow people. They're okay forging their own path.

Michele Johnston [:

Mhmm. And I've always been 1 to tell my children, listen, you know, when you're 18, you don't know what the fuck you want. You know, you think you do, but you don't really.

Diane Schroeder [:

Yeah.

Michele Johnston [:

But I'm like, you know, I don't care if you do a vocational study, go straight into a career, do college, or what you choose at 18 or 25 or 30 may not be what you choose at 35, 40, 50, and that's okay. Mhmm. Like, no 1 is ever stuck, ever, ever, ever. And I I share this quote a lot. This is, like, my favorite quote by me. To my own horn, this is my favorite quote by me. 1 of the greatest privileges in life is the opportunity to continuously evolve. And I wholeheartedly everyone has a purpose.

Michele Johnston [:

Absolutely. Mhmm. And everyone has a purpose. Absolutely. But it's the people that get curious and want to know more and want to evolve. Those are the people that go on this journey, and they find their purpose.

Diane Schroeder [:

Yes. That is so beautiful, and thank you for sharing that about your kids. I I asked my son the other day. You know, he's in 6th grade, so 6th grade's a hard year.

Michele Johnston [:

Yeah.

Diane Schroeder [:

He's been he's aging me in dog years all of a sudden. But, you know, III think back to you know, I was such a people pleaser. I was like, pay it you know, I wanted to be seen. I wanted all the things, so good grades were a way that I made my parents happy. And my son does not have that quality. He He is so not a people pleaser, and I had this epiphany like, that's a huge gift. I'm so glad he's not a people pleaser. And while it's challenging at times, you know, I asked him, I said, do you ever feel that you're not loved or seen or supported? And he's like, no.

Diane Schroeder [:

He's like, I've got an amazing family who loves me and holds me up. I'm like, okay, that's a win. Now, please just do your homework.

Michele Johnston [:

Seriously. And it sounds like my youngest, I'm like, okay, if we can just get him to take his GEDs, like, to that age and like test out of high school, it's a total win.

Diane Schroeder [:

Yeah. Another, another human person said to me last week, he's like, just get him alive to 21. Really, that's your goal in life. Like, keep him alive till 21, and I'm like, I think I can get on board with that.

Michele Johnston [:

Yeah. Yeah. 10 more years. Okay. We got this. I can do that. I can do that.

Diane Schroeder [:

I'm over the hump. I'm over halfway there. Awesome. Awesome. Well, Michele, I really appreciate you spending time with me and my guests today. I'm curious to also know, how has your self care and self love process and kind of routine, how has that evolved with you? Because I'm sure it's not quite the same as it was when you first started. So if you wouldn't mind speaking to my audience, like, how it's okay for it to evolve and it doesn't have to stay the same.

Michele Johnston [:

Yeah. And, trust me, you will have your moments where you're like, I'm on fire. I got this all under control. I'm doing all the things. And then you'll have, like, weeks where, you know, life life happens. Mhmm. It's been happening to me. Quite honestly, it's been crazy, and it's been the hustle and busy.

Michele Johnston [:

And, it's been crazy, and it's been the hustle and busy and, you know, just all these things. But for me, it really comes down to taking time out for myself. And it's really, really, really difficult when things are crazy, and we difficult when things are crazy, and we have a tendency to feel like and want to do big things. Like, okay, I can meditate for 15 minutes. Well, I would love that, but I fall asleep. Well, I would love that, but I fall asleep because I'm so damn relaxed. So Yes. You know, for me, it's, my meditation is listening to music.

Michele Johnston [:

Music super soothes my soul and helps me process emotions, identifying things that work for you and things that don't work for you. You know, my self care, self love for, 1 day might be a piece a little piece of chocolate and a little bit of wine at the end of the day. It might be an hour at the gym. It might actually be able to sit through a meditation or do, tapping, EFT, or Yes. You know, listening to a podcast. You know, sometimes that's difficult to to give space to anything that's more than 15 minutes.

Diane Schroeder [:

Yeah.

Michele Johnston [:

So it's really like, you don't have to be consistently like, okay, this is what I have to do and structured and this and that because life isn't freaking structured.

Diane Schroeder [:

Mm-mm.

Michele Johnston [:

Really get in tune with what feels good to to you, whatever that looks like to you. Mhmm. You know, do what feels good and what makes you happy.

Diane Schroeder [:

I couldn't have said it better, so thank you for I am pretty sure you might be living in my brain or we might be doppelgangers in different states. So thank you for sharing that. I really appreciate it. And I do have I I lied. I have 1 more question for you. I'm curious to hear what your relationship is with religion now from how you grew up.

Michele Johnston [:

Yeah. For me, in leaving the church that I was in, the first thing I did was, again, strip everything down to just, like, the basic foundations of being a good person, contribute to society, help and support others. And that's really kind of my core belief system. I don't hold any animosity towards the church. That was a lot of, like, my forgiveness phase. You know, I had to forgive myself, but I also had to forgive the people that were only doing what they knew how to do as well. Now that I've gone through the process and gotten in touch with my own spirituality, I I kind of like to each their own. And I respect everyone in every church and every belief system, you know, as long as it's not doing harm to anyone else.

Michele Johnston [:

But, really, just be a good fucking human being. That's funny. Stand the note. Yes.

Diane Schroeder [:

Preach. Because that is that is the church I belong to. Just be a good human. Don't be a dick. You know, I I mean, we have all moods and moments, but at the core, like, act with kindness. I believe that is the intent behind all religions anyway at their core beliefs. Sometimes it just gets a little messy and they'll just get depressed. A little scared.

Diane Schroeder [:

Yeah. Awesome. Well, Michele, thank you so much for spending time with us and giving wisdom, and I will link your Instagram and your website into the show notes. And if there's anything else that you would like to add to throw in before we sign off, the stage is yours.

Michele Johnston [:

Ladies, listeners, audience, whoever is out there listening in, go forth and live your best life. You only get 1 life, and you deserve to be happy, and you are freaking enough.

Diane Schroeder [:

Another great conversation. Thank you for giving the valuable gift of your time and listening to the Fire Inside Her podcast. Speaking of value, 1 of the most common potholes we fall into on the journey to authenticity is not recognizing our value. So I created a workbook. It's all about value. Head on over to thefireinsideher.com/value to get your free workbook that will help you remember your value. Until next time, my friend.

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