Turning Trauma into Healing: A Deep Dive into Self-Love and Safe Intimacy

This heartfelt episode explores the journey from trauma to self-acceptance, emphasizing the importance of safe love, boundary-setting, and embodied healing. Honeybee shares her personal story of overcoming childhood trauma, building resilience, and cultivating authentic connections through spiritual and somatic practices.

In this episode:

• Honeybee's background and journey from trauma to her current coaching practice
• The impact of childhood family dynamics and attachment styles on adult relationships
• Recognizing and healing trauma stored in the body and nervous system
• The role of tantra, breath-work, and somatic practices in recovery
• How trauma influences perceptions of safety, love, and intimacy
• The importance of radical self-love, boundaries, and self-awareness
• Practical tools: box breathing exercise for grounding
• Embracing your body and sexual agency without shame
• The collective shift towards masculinity as protectors and nurturers
• Honeybee’s journey with spirituality, including her Christian faith and understanding of divine love

Timestamps:

01:05 - Creating a space for inclusivity and honoring diverse expressions of love

02:01 - Honey B's intention for the episode and prayer for divine guidance

04:31 - Trauma live in the body: understanding somatic memory

06:48 - Practical container: resources and a guided box breathing exercise

07:18 - Honeybee’s journey of grounding and self-empowerment

10:49 - Childhood trauma's manifestation in self-destructive behaviors

13:37 - The ongoing process of healing through boundaries and self-love

14:06 - Childhood experiences of pain and impact on sense of safety

15:02 - Shadows of emotional abuse and manifestations of unresolved trauma

17:25 - The lasting effects of dysfunctional family patterns

19:40 - Body image issues and shame conditioning linked to trauma

28:43 - The principle that hurt people hurt people: a path toward compassion

33:30 - An introduction to tantra and its role in healing and connection

40:10 - Soulful exploration through sensuality and self-reverence

41:35 - Honeybee Love Alchemy guided self-love practices and coaching opportunities

42:34 - The power of somatic healing and movement for trauma release

43:02 - Breath-work, grounding and resources for healing

44:41 - Crisis support resources and the importance of community care

45:11 - Guided box breathing for calming the nervous system

50:16 - Closing poem "She Stayed": Celebrating resilience and blossoming despite hardships

Follow Honeybee!

🌹Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/honey.bee.smooth/

🖥️ Website: https://www.honeybeelovealchemy.com/

🔥Ladies Awaken to your Radiance: https://www.honeybeelovealchemy.com/sensual-radiance

💌 Subscribe for the Juicy Emails: https://honeybeelovealchemy.myflodesk.com/emailpodcast

🎧Listen on Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/honeybee-unfiltered-this-is-me/id1884823916?i=1000755030292

🎧Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0ffx98FtVMjEoJtSFgny0Q?si=69d497586edf4f1f

🎧Listen on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@HoneybeeLoveAlchemy/podcasts

🫠Crystal Pleasure Wands 10% off code HONEYBEELOVE: https://waands.com/discount/HONEYBEELOVE?ref=wmbnyxfw

🥚Yoni EGGS: https://yoniegg.com/?ref=euyivmlz

🌀Radiant Health & Vitality with Spirulina: http://annarose.newphoenixrising.com

🧘‍♀️Meditate with me on Insight Timer App: https://insighttimer.com/Honeybee

Note:

If you or someone you know is facing a mental health crisis, contact your local crisis hotline or mental health services immediately.

The Central Coast Hotline is a free, confidential 24/7 mental health guidance, crisis, and suicide prevention line available to residents of San Luis Obispo and Santa Barbara counties. You can reach the hotline by calling or texting 1-800-783-0607

Resources & Links:

• The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk
• Nonviolent Communication by Marshall B. Rosenberg
• Insight Timer Honeybee Love Alchemy Channel

Hello and welcome. Join me here in the Poetry of Intimacy Lounge where we pour the tea, light the candles, and laugh at all the mess and magic of love. This is a poetic playground for intimacy where communication becomes art and relationships are treated like living rituals. You are not alone, my love. Healing your heart doesn't have to feel like a chaotic roller coaster.

So with grace and curiosity, we explore the topics of Eros, soulful, storytelling, authentic conversations on becoming safer lovers, rooted in our truth, guided by God's blessings along the way. This lounge is a community where I invite you to be open-minded, and I pray you open your heart to how others relate to themselves, their bodies, and how they choose to love.

This is an all inclusive space where you are welcome exactly as you are on the beautiful spectrum of gender. Here it does not matter who you love because love is love, where there are no borders or walls built between countries, here we bridge the gap with reverence to different ways of living, to honoring life, a variety of culture and colors and communities from all parts all over this beautiful world.

I also invite you to subscribe to this email list down below to stay in the know for future episodes, in-person events, and retreats. You can also select which topics of love interest you in the email subscribe link below. So once you hit the follow or subscribe button to this Poetry of Intimacy Lounge, as always I invite you to like or comment, rate the show, help the algorithms further these codes of love to reach the hearts of those who seek support.

And with all that said, a little honey, a little heat, I am Honey B and I am honored to be your love and relationship coach in the Poetry of Intimacy Lounge. Woo. All right, all right, love. So here we are on episode two. Yes. Okay. I just want to say a quick little prayer to an anoint this episode because things are coming up.

in my mind and my heart already, thinking about what this could invoke in others. So I just wanna say a little prayer and

Lord God, I pray that this episode opens up the hearts of those that might feel close off or opens up the hearts to those that are feeling that they have been a part of a dregulating event or trauma in their lives, that my story may soften their hearts or that it this audience will have an understanding.

And in understandings to others in their lives, in their own lives, and other people in their lives that might be dysregulated or operating from places of trauma or dark spaces. And I just pray for the protection and blessing to all that listen to this. May their hearts be open. May their bodies, souls, minds be protected. And may you divinely guide this.

Podcast episode to those that need to hear it. In your holy name. All right, now that we got that out of the way, yeah, I've been feeling hesitant to record this one for good reason. Fear of what people might think about me, fear of the unknown, fear that I will be demonized for

my experiences and the thought processes of my life. And I do think it's important and relevant to the topics of love because most of us that have experienced any sort of trauma, and I mean any trauma on the spectrum, might be operating from those places of trauma, darkness. We might be showing up to love in our interpersonal relationships from a place of dregulation. Because the trauma is not

An event. Yes, events have happened. Complex trauma has happened. But what it is, is is it lives in our body. It is the memory of the feeling of whatever event, whatever thing that happened to you lives in the soma. And so we, of course, may not be conscious. It might be a subconscious thing that exists within us that.

Is operating in our bodies, in our nervous systems, how we show up to love, how we show up to relationships, how we react, how we repair, how we avoid, how we become anxious, all of it can surround some sort of event, whether it is super traumatic or if it's a small trauma that caused you to feel disconnection from yourself, your mind, body, and soul. So I think this is an important topic to tune into.

And I'm really grateful to have the mic and the space to and the just the feelings of protection and blessing to myself and my own nervous system as I talk about these things because I do hope that these conversations open up the floor for all of us to come together and have more of these opening conversations with those that we love in our life and even the conversations we have with ourselves internally. And as always, I'd like to share a little bit of an outline of what.

This is going to be about. This one is just me speaking, speaking about my traumas. So trigger warning to any suicidal ideation, gun violence, and emotional abuse, those are the topics that will be covered in this. So if that is dysregulating to your nervous system and it's not something you want to be a part of, you can make an informed decision and decide whether this space is for you. However, if you are curious, if you have someone in your life that is

And might be suffering, or you have internally suffered with some of these topics, then I welcome you with open arms and thank you for being part of this conversation. So the outline goes as follows. I am going to share my intention with this space. I'd then like to share some resources for you all and a practice that you can do, ending it with a two-minute box breathing that you can practice from anywhere.

You can do it from your car if you are driving. You can do it in your space. You could also save and pin it for later for when you want to sit down and actually close your eyes to really tune in. And then I will end it as always with a little bit of poetry to just inspire the arts and your heart. And you are always welcome to journal and reflect after you listen to this and leave a comment below if it really resonated with you because your story

might help shape someone's heart or just be a listening ear to someone else that might need this medicine in this now. So thank you so much for being here. And yeah. Whew, my intention. Let's start there. My intention with this space is because I finally feel ready to talk publicly about my timeline in trauma because that has led me to be

The tantrika, the sex, love, and intimacy coach that I am now, all those pains and sufferings, really awkward, wonky, interrelational, personal, relational, all the things from love to family dynamics, all of those awkward years, and still in 26 have gone up and down, up and down. And now I finally truthfully feel ready to share that because I feel safe in my system.

And I have developed a relationship with myself where outside factors, sure they might affect me. Sure, judgment still exists, but internally I am so grounded in my center and who I am as a person that I kind of have this collective F you. If you don't vibe, then it's okay. Like I am who I am as a person. And all of these things have shaped me to be who I am. And I also like to share, like, yes, I am sharing some personal stuff.

I might have family members that are listening. I might have friends that just have not seen or heard from me in a long time or don't know anything about my life up until this moment that they're listening to. That's also okay. May you have an opening heart to why stuff was awkward in high school, why things are and where my heart has been this whole time. And all of it is okay. I feel the blessing from God to share and I'm ready. I'm ready to just

Come out with all of the awkward, wonky, just yeah, hard to share things that happened internally for me. Because this, I'm sure there are many on this journey today, even you that might have felt some things in your heart or your mind where you were like, Whoa, that is not okay that I felt that, or whoa, it is not okay that I did that. And it's okay, you are forgiven.

As long as you start to begin to unravel and forgive yourself in that self awareness is really important. So man.

Where do I begin? I feel like it starts in the family home, in the family dynamic. I grew up in Chicago. My parents are still together and I love them so dearly. I have also hated them so immensely. I mean the hate was so strong that I broke picture frames, I ripped and tore photographs apart. I broke things that my mom had. I ripped things out of the car, breaking a a seat, ⁓

Like a gosh, there are so many things that I have broken in my home to release my rage, to release the uncomfortable, furious little girl inside of me. And the truth is, my parents had a tumultuous abusively, emotionally abusively relation with each other.

I do believe it sprouts from not fully dating each other and getting to know each other. As my mom grew up in Mexico, my dad was from Chicago. They met on his spring break to Acapulco, and it's a beautiful love story that then turned into like their first year of marriage. Dishonesty, disloyalty, ⁓ cheating, and then causing a lot of dysregulation between them. I don't believe they

Had the tools to learn about their attachment styles or how they show up in the world and might have not have had the support from their team or their family and started to live a life in darkness, which then became imposed upon me. And I felt this before my younger brother was born. The fighting in the home, the way they screamed at each other, the way I wanted to hide.

under the bed, the way I wanted to hide under my covers, the way I really felt an unstable dynamic in my home. So much so that as a child I felt unstable in my relationships. I clung to people that felt safe. I clung to anybody that gave me love and therefore turned into

romantic relationships and my anxious attachment style where when any man gave me love because I don't feel like I received it from my father, I don't felt I did not feel safe love with my dad. I clung to relationships and dynamics where there's sprinkles of love and held on so tight and their families and the men that I dated and their loving families. And I clung so tightly to those things so that when

The relationship ruptured or became broken, I was left in such disarray, years of healing, crying, puddles of my tears on the ground because I felt so alone. I felt like my own family didn't feel welcoming. I wanted to have a new family, a new dynamic, a relationship with a man that felt safe, but I didn't know what that felt like. And even as I speak this, I have forgiven my father.

But I still see the patterns. I still witness ⁓ through text message, through being in person. These things don't just go away. They've gotten better through my own regulation and learning how to breathe, learning how to love myself, learning that their dynamic is not mine to hold. I have had to create boundaries. I've had to step into my power and block or

not talk to them for several months or weeks just really to protect my peace. And it is sad because as a child, you don't necessarily you don't desire that at all. You ch you want to trust your family. You wanna feel safe around the people that are upbringing you. But as a child, I was so broken and hurt that I would hurt little animals. I would hurt

little creatures. I would take a little wooden stick and stab it through a frog in the forest to get a reaction out of the people around me because I felt so numb to pain. Actually the suffering that I had experienced internally was so painful that I wanted to inflict pain onto others, whether it was emotionally or physically. And I would go

To like Discovery Zone or Chuck E. Cheeses, and if I was in a tunnel with a younger child or someone smaller than me, I would pinch them or pinch their cheeks or pull their hair and then try to run away because I wanted to invoke some sort of pain to somebody else. And that is so heavy and hard for me to share. It's embarrassing. I didn't want to pull the tail feathers out of my parakeet in its cage.

But I was suffering. I was feeling like a caged bird. I was hurt, bleeding in my heart. I was not okay. I didn't like hearing the screaming and the things that they would say to each other. I didn't like hearing my mom be called stupid. I didn't like hearing my dad called an asshole, a fat fucker, and this a that a this a that like these words.

that you hear every single holiday that we would have would turn into a fight on the way to Nona's house, on the way back from Nona's house. I would be caught in the middle of just like needing to see whose side was right. Like, Anna, don't you see that your father does this? Anna, don't you see that this, this and that? ⁓ Anna, my dad.

Talking to me, like, look at your mother. She's depressed. She's crazy. She has problems. You don't ever want to be like that. Blah, blah, blah. And then actually see doors slam, pushing, grabbing of the phone, gr like that just just love. Love was there because my parents love me. And I love you too, mom and dad. And I know that this is really hard to share.

Because it's so personal. It is so personal. And it's embarrassing. Because I would be out in public as a little girl in elementary school, and my dad would start to raise his voice or you would see the crazy in his eyes, or you would see him grind his teeth and he's looking at you and he's telling you don't do that, don't don't say that. Look at this, do that. What are you feeling? Why are you so sad, Anna?

Tell me what you're feeling. Tell me what you're feeling, trying to force things out of me, trying to force emotion out of me to tell him how I'm feeling when he couldn't understand why I was crying. I just wanted to run away and hide. The truth was as a child I couldn't tell him you're the reason why I'm crying. You're the reason I feel unsafe. You don't have the words or the wherewithal to say those things. You just know that it doesn't feel good, that it feels

It doesn't feel safe. And I watched this all throughout my life, all the way to high school. Through high school, in my twenties, all the way to my thirties. This whole dynamic between how they related to each other has been so dysfunctional. And that to me is trauma.

I worried that my trauma wasn't enough to talk about, that no, I didn't have sexual abuse. No, I wasn't sexually assaulted. But it doesn't matter. Trauma, there's no it just it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. You can have trauma from one single event, from one thing that happened to you or was said to you. And that can live in your body for the rest of your life.

And honestly, this the way that I lived, I mean, going into high school, the relationships that I was in, I was really weird. I would drink and do really weird things, like stare or stalk people or send weird messages, just like not knowing how to relate in a loving, safe way for others. I became

An unsafe lover. I became completely deranged. I was not safe. I would lash out into rage. I would be hypersexual. I would be absolutely just not a safe person for my lovers. And any breakup that I had would be such a hang-up because the men in my life at that age would leave me. They'd say, I don't want a girl with daddy issues.

I don't want a girl who doesn't love this and that. And then they would say, I can't love you because you don't love yourself. Like, why can't you love yourself? And it was such deep feelings of not loving myself in my whole entire body, from body dysmorphia. From my mom telling me I should be more feminine, I should lose weight, I should do this, I should do that, you shouldn't wear that. You know, suck in your stomach. Just put in more put on more makeup. You know, do this, do that.

To men in my life telling me that my love handles were big and that they reminded me of this, this, and this, and that my genitals look like beef curtains, or that it looks like something someone threw up. So from a young age in my high school life, feeling like, wow, now my my picture that I sent my boyfriend at the time has now been shared.

with other people in high school is completely wrong. But dumb young kids are gonna do dumb young things. I felt so disconnected from my body. I thought I had to get a surgery to reduce the size of my labia because I felt like it wasn't good enough. But luckily I have done my research. I have talked to other women

I finally feel a connection to my yoni, to my body, and ⁓ there is so many beautiful genitalia from male to woman to intersect we are intersex. We are all born with the miracle of life. And it's not wrong. And it is my highest, highest desire that you feel safe in your body and your skin. And part of these conversations are to invoke that safety that you are not broken.

That you have a beautiful body. And it's just getting your mind and your heart and your soul to align to that worthiness. And it does take work. First, it takes a willingness to see yourself that you might be thinking these harsh inner critic thoughts, that other people might be saying things to you that don't feel good, that don't feel safe, that actually make you feel less than. And it's important to realize.

That those people affect your nervous system. And if you yourself has felt that way or have suffered any sort of trauma where you feel disconnected from your body, first it's just that awareness that you are disconnected. That awareness is so important because the willingness to want to change and to do something different in your life, to begin to seek help or support, to begin to feel better, that is.

Such a journey in itself. Sometimes it could take years, sometimes it could take several months. But just know that you're not alone, that there are people out there that do have your back. And there are friends and communities that do accept and welcome you as you are.

I believe I realized that something was really wrong internally for me. When I was having a conversation, let's be honest, it was a fight with my mom. And when I was on the phone screaming, crying, shaking, pulling my hair, stomping my feet, yelling and saying, You guys are the reason for my trauma. You guys are the reason why I can't

Find love, you're the reason why I don't know what love is. I hate you, stop talking to me. I don't want anything to do with you anymore. I'm tired of it. Go seek therapy. Stop throwing all of your stuff onto me. Stop dumping it onto me. I can't take it anymore. I got off the phone, I laid on the ground. It was completely dark. I was shaking. I was sad, I was furious.

My own puddle of tears, the cold feeling on my face from the wooden floor to my tears, to my face, to my cheeks, that feeling that I felt. I felt alive in that moment because I could feel the cold wooden floor, the dark room, the texture of the ground. I can feel my entire body, just my heart.

beating so quickly on the ground, so dysregulated, suffering. And I said if I had a gun that I can hurt somebody right now and feel absolutely nothing that it would bring me joy to hurt somebody. That if I took the gun to my head, that no one would no one would care. Actually my parents deserve to feel the pain that I feel.

They would mi they would miss me, sure, but then they would realize how much damage internally I felt emotionally from the traumas, from the horrible things that have been said back and forth, from the screaming, the crying, the fighting, the pushing and pulling of dynamics, the unsafety I felt. When I sat there on the floor, I realized.

Whoa, that's a scary thought. You don't want to hurt anybody. But the fact that I felt absolutely no shame in wanting to get that gun that my dad had in his house 'cause he was a police officer. I knew where it was. I said, I can just grab it and I could do harm right now and I'd be okay with a smile on my face.

And that right there was one of the most terrifying moments of my existence. I said, something is seriously wrong, dude. Something is super wrong with you. You can't feel this way. You can't think this way. You'll end up in jail. What if you mess up? Taking someone else's life? Who are you? To think that way.

I knew in that moment that I had to figure it out. That I could I needed to do whatever it took to find a way out of this super dark place inside my body. I felt so unsafe in my own thoughts. I felt so unsafe in my mind. So unsafe that drinking was so much fun. Blackout drunk.

People having to take care of me, people having to hold my hair while I throw up in the bathroom. Just all the things that reckless, just reckless, recklessly drinking and driving because I don't care what would happen. I've been protected. Boy, have I been protected from angels, from God, and from

All of these powers that be that really, really wanted to bring me to safety and to help guide me into the light of my own love.

And it was finally in my 30s that I really started to unpack all of that. I tried to see psychiatrists, but they literally recommended a pill from day one. And I took it and I didn't feel good in my body. I felt really not at home. And I said, I don't want to rely on medicine. I don't want to rely on medicine. I have to figure this out. I have to figure this out.

And that's not to say that there are some people that really do benefit from antidepressants or different medications, especially me working within the community of people living with schizophrenia, bipolar. All of those things are real mental health disorders that sometimes need support. That is the truth. But for me, I felt like there was another path. I felt like there was another way to relate to myself. There had to be a way to heal.

That I can seek outside sources, that I can tune inward, that I could do this. I wanted to be strong. And it is honestly my ego. My ego really wanted to prove myself, that I could bring myself to the next level of tending to myself. And then there was the deep realization that hurt people hurt people. I had a deep realization that.

The people that do have the guns, that do gun violence, that shoot up schools, that hurt themselves, or big populations of people, or even someone that they have close to them, that whoever is holding that gun is deeply hurt and in pain, suffering. Sometimes I feel like trauma is the void of God's love. I feel like

It's a heaviness, a darkness, somewhere that light doesn't want to shine. It feels rotten. But with that realization, I think if most of us as humans understand that, that hurt people hurt people, that we can then begin to do the work. That when someone is really hurting, that that means there's extra love, there's extra care, there's extra attention.

And you yourself, if you are hurting, that you deserve to feel the love and affection that just because you're in a dark space doesn't mean that you're unworthy of love. It just means that you're in a season of life where you get to guide yourself to the deepest healing and connections with self that you can. For some people, it's a higher power outside themselves in the form of prayer, releasing all of the ego.

Edging God out, ego, E G O. Right? What do we do when we're so boastful or too much, we're too prideful to get help? You're just edging God out. You're you're you're coming from a place of ego. But sometimes when you see the humanness in yourself, that your soul has deep feeling, emotion, and connection to a source outside of us that

is so miraculous. Like God to me is the force that puts planets into rotation. There really is no real

Like science can't explain the miracles that happen, and miracles do happen, right? So believing that and trusting that your life is being guided to the right resources and to the right people. And also you, if you haven't suffered trauma, that you can still be a loving force in someone's life that might be experiencing so much dysregulation, that a simple smile to a stranger on the street, a simple that looks great.

Might brighten somebody's day.

We can change the world by making this place a more sex positive place with acceptance and reverence to each unique journey that each human holds here on this planet. It is my highest belief that we can do that as a collective, that this new thought patterns are emerging, that the men are becoming protectors, that they're starting to see what's happened to women for all these centuries.

And we can hold deep and tender loving places to the masculine in our lives.

So I'm saying a collective thank you for all of you that are here, that have stuck around, that are eager to learn how to be safer lovers, not only to the people that you relate to, but also to yourself. How can you cultivate such deep compassion and empathy for those around you that are hurting? Because trauma is real and it lives in the body. So whether you're feeling numb, triggered,

rage, deep depression, all those things sprout from something deeper that needs looking at, attention. And so with this work as a Vita coach, which Vita stands for the Vital Integrated Tantric Approach to Love and Intimacy, I have studied under Layla Martin and her nit lineage of learning has come from different sex of sections of

Classical Tantra to Neo Tantra, spirituality, movement, understanding the body, breath work, all of these things in combination with deep awareness and sorting things out with someone like a coach can be so helpful. I know that in the two years that I was taking my Vita coaching program, I had been in a relationship where I felt so triggered and traumatized and depressed and very upset.

And sort of blaming the world and outside sources. And I needed to look back inward again. So these practices, learning about what tantra is, learning about how to hold myself in deep reverence, living in the duality of all of life, all of it. How do I hold myself in deep compassion and presence? So to give you this simple definition of what tantra is, is

The practice of using your body, breath, energy, consciousness, a path to deeper connection within yourself, within others, and with the divine. So it's not a religion, rather it's a thought philosophy, a way of life. Tantra means the interweaving, the liberation and expansion of your life. That could include how you treat yourself, how you think, understanding.

The light, the dark, the sad, the happy, it's all interweaving. All of it is God. All of it is part of this system, this universe. It dates back all the way to ancient India, Hinduism, Buddhism, different flavors of Tantra. And it wasn't in textbooks. It wasn't written. It was supposed to be secret, passed down from Guru to disciple.

To understand these teachings, they were powerful. But now we've learned, we've passed the lineages on, it's come to morph to different styles and traditions. And when we talk about tantra in sacred sexuality, what we were referring to is the neo-tantra, these aspects of life that combine sexuality because of the presence that it invokes.

So when people are talking about sometimes when you hear the word tantra, you just automatically assume it's this sexual thing. So that is a common misconception that tantra is just sexual energy. However, that is one pathway within it because that is part of the interweaving of all of life's experiences. So when we're talking about it in Neo Tantra, that often includes breath work, sensual awareness, slowing down intimacy, conscious touch.

Emotional and energetic connection with yourself or with the divine or with your lover? How do we embrace all of life's aspects? How do we turn ordinary moments into sacred experiences? How do we feel fully alive in our body? How are we allowing the pleasure, the connection, and the awareness to coexist all in one?

So I do not claim to know all of the history of Tantra. And I deeply hold a reverence to the consistent learning that I am a student of these practices and a student of life. I also call myself a Baptist Christian because I grew up in that realm. I believe Jesus died on the cross. I believe

That there are miracles in prayer because I've experienced supernatural things that have happened. And talking about this on a podcast is a real edge for me. I'll tell you what. But here's the thing is that's my experience. And that's unique to me. So whatever you're going through, whatever you're feeling, whatever religion or thought philosophies that are happening within you, whatever orientations, whatever, however you love to love others.

All of it, we are so unique down to the fingerprint. It is all different. We are all so different, but we all come from one blood. So, how do we connect these pieces? How did these practices of Tantra help me become a better person, a better lover, a better daughter? How did these practices bring me to where I'm at as a sex love and intimacy coach? And I love sharing this because.

It is near and dear to my heart. I knew that I always wanted safe love. I think deep down we all do. We don't want to fight. We don't want to feel triggered. We don't want to go through the trauma or the drama. It is so exhausting. I think we all want to experience life as one big beautiful blissful adventure and enjoy it. We have this life. We are breathing. However, factors happen in our experience and

That really take us out of the joyous moments. And sometimes there are things out of our control that are imposed upon us. Could be verbal abuse, could be physical abuse. Sometimes it feels like we can't get out of these places physically or emotionally. So I'd like to offer some resources. There are, of course, are plenty of books out there. However, if you're trying to understand trauma in the body.

Book called The Body Keeps the Score: Mind, Body, and Brain and the Transformation of Trauma by Bessel van der Koek. Now, this book is triggering. It is. This could be great for people who are desiring to be coaches or therapists just to understand how trauma really works in the system. For those of you that are seeking to find help in becoming safer, more authentic communicators.

Another book that I have enjoyed is Nonviolent Communication, and that is by Marshall B. Rosenberg. So this right here is some of the things that I wish that I would have known earlier on in my relationships to nonviolent communication. However, I learned the hard way by losing people that I really loved by being broken up with, by being discarded, by being told

By others, like, hey, you're not a good friend. So those things are important to me now. And in this season of being a newbie, coach, graduated in the sex, love, and intimacy of the Vita methodology, I am so excited and elated to share with the Yoni Heaven folks out there that you can cultivate that deep relationship with yourself, with your Yoni, that your sensuality matters.

True sensual radiance isn't just captured, it's actually felt in your system. It lives in how you move, how you touch your life, and how you allow pleasure without apology. When you choose slowness over forcing, your body remembers its natural magnetism. So for all the Yoni Heaven folks out there, if you want to glow differently, glow honestly with your body and your radiance.

I invite you into Sensual Radiance, which is a 12 week journey with me. It is a one-on-one coaching private container, and we go deep dive. We use the Yoni egg. We use crystal pleasure wands. We use these things to cultivate a deep reverence with ourselves, especially if you're feeling numb, disconnected, you might not even know how to orgasm. You might not even know what turns you on. And some of these things are partly because of shame conditioning.

You not having a relationship, you not understanding your body, these things can be worked through. And with this desire-based coaching model with aspects of trauma-informed care, we really look at what is the resistance, the block in the body to allow yourself to slowly open up, slowly open up to those experiences, to hold yourself with deep love, compassion, and reverence.

So if this work feels a little electric to you or it feels like, ooh, what's this all about? You can click the Central Radiant button below and check out the offering. I will love to welcome you in. And currently I am offering a free session so that we can talk about those things that matter most to your heart, that matter most in your dating life, whether you are in relationship or not, cultivating the deep relationship with self.

Will allow you to be a safer lover to others around you, and your love life will improve on all fronts because you are unapologetically living in your pleasure, and pleasure is your compass towards the things that you desire. You will glow, you will become magnetic, and you will finally feel so alive, tingling with electricity and all of your body's experience. So I love sharing this part about my new.

Realm in the coaching world. So thank you for hearing of my offering. And just to bring it all together with all the other resources, I also wanted to share the last component that I think is beautiful before we jump into the breath work. I am also a huge fan of body-based somatic healing. As a dancer myself, I have been able to move my body in ways that have been able to release stored trauma.

I've been able to shake, breathe, burn it out through intentional movement. I think that's really beautiful in healing. Any retreat, any dance classes, anything that gets you to move the e-motion because it's energy in motion. So that somatic experiencing with gentle body-based approaches. EMDR is another evidence-based theory for processing traumatic memories.

And of course, other practices like breath work, grounding exercises, and the gentle movements of walking, stretching, and intuitive movement, playing some soft music, making playlists for yourself to set aside intentional so time to connect with yourself. And with the breath work, always that slow, intentional, regulated, down temple, grounding type of energy.

so that you could ground down instead of feeling activated, maybe slightly triggered. So there's so much to breath work. There's a lot of free resources online. And I also have an insight timer channel that you can find me on. So if you have the Insight Timer app, you can look for the Honeybee Love Alchemy channel and find some meditations there. I've actually loaded some for couples. There's some Yoga Nidras, there's some release negative thought patterns, there's some hand pan ones. So there's just an assortment there.

Also know that if you are in a crisis, a mental crisis, that I would totally suggest finding your local crisis hotline. Like here in San Luis Obispo County, we have Transitions Mental Health. We have the hotline that people can call, Mobile Crisis Unit, and it's somebody that can talk to you through what you're going through. So you're never alone.

I would say if you are anywhere in the world and you don't know the number of a mobile crisis unit, give a mob give it a little research. Save it in your phone. It might help somebody and you probably didn't even know it was around you.

And for the last bit of this podcast, thank you for being a part of this all. I am happy to close this out with the box breathing two minutes and a little poem at the end. So if you are operating a vehicle or just not in a space to do this, you can pin it for later. You can do this box breathing while you drive. It's just

really calming and relaxing. but I do suggest like any sort of breath work be done when you can give it its full energy and attention and it's just more powerful that way. ⁓ but you know I do box breathing in the car sometimes too. So with that said, I'd love to start this with taking a natural breath in and another breath.

And breathe in your natural rhythms for a moment as I explain. The box breathing is a way to breathe consciously in a down regulated tempo. So what we'll do is breathe in for four seconds, hold the breath for four seconds, exhale out for four, and hold the breath for four before we take in a new bit of air and repeat the cycle.

And so it's called box breathing because if you were to take an arrow or use your finger, you're just doing a shape of the box breathing. And it has four parts in this pattern. So as we do this, it will be two minutes long. And let's begin with the sound of a little chime.

Two.

Hold, three, two, one. Exhale out.

One, then hold the breath at the bottom.

Now inhale in three, two, one, and hold.

Exhale out.

⁓

Inhale, in

Cool.

Exhale out.

⁓

And

⁓

Exhale now.

Hold.

Inhale.

⁓

Exhale loud.

⁓

Inhale.

Then

Exhale loud.

Hmm.

And

your bride.

Exhale.

And hold

Mm.

Exhale.

Now take a deep breath in and bring it all the way to the tippy top and hold your breath when you get to the top. Recalibrating, realigning, feeling the peace within you.

In a gentle exhale, sigh it out, let it out, let it go, let it flow.

⁓ I'm so grateful that you got to practice this little two-minute breath work with me as this has helped me through my different traumatic experiences, or when the thoughts of trauma come in, or where I feel misaligned and wonky. I so appreciate the space to share my truth, my reality, and where it's taking me. And I'd like to close this out with a little bit of

Poetry and this one is called She Stayed.

She had every reason to close. Every scar said protect yourself. Every old love said you are too much. And still, she bloomed anyway. Not for them. For the woman who survived long enough to want to.

Thank you so much for being a part of this journey with me. I'm so excited to sprinkle more fun and playfulness in the next coming episodes. And thank you for being with me through this serious tone of talking about trauma. I appreciate you all so much. All is divine and all is on time.