In this episode, I'm joined by counsellor Julie Wales who has become known for her work with neurodiverse couples. You don’t need to have everything figured out from the beginning and Julie’s story is a reminder that your niche can develop over time, often by following what you care about and noticing the people who are already coming to you for help.
We talk about the role of blogging, networking and community and how small, consistent steps can help you grow a practice that feels aligned with who you are - even if you are terrified when you first start.
This is a really encouraging episode if you’ve ever wondered how to:
find your niche
grow your confidence over time
attract clients without feeling salesy
or become more visible in a way that feels natural
Takeaways:
How blogging can help clients find you
The impact of updating your website and speaking clearly to your niche
Building a private practice through networking and relationships
The value of community and support when building a practice
Why you don't have to feel like an expert to become recognised for your niche
Setting up in private practice? Download my free checklist HERE
Need ideas for how to get clients? Download my free handout 21 Ways for Counsellors to Attract New ClientsHERE
Keywords: counselling niche, therapist niche, private practice counselling, how to find your niche as a therapist, neurodiverse couples therapy, how to get counselling clients, therapist marketing
The information contained in Good Enough Counsellors is provided for information purposes only. The contents of this podcast are not intended to amount to advice and you should not rely on any of the contents of this podcast. Professional advice should be obtained before taking or refraining from taking any action as a result of the contents of this podcast.
Josephine Hughes disclaims all liability and responsibility arising from any reliance placed on any of the contents of this podcast.
Transcripts
Julie:
I went through it all and I thought, no, this website needs revamping. It looks. It looks sort of too old or still, I don't know.
And I thought, I went right through each page and revamped it and wrote it all out and I thought, no, I'm going to put About Neurodiversity on there, its own page. And as soon as I put that page, as soon as that page was loaded, oh, my goodness. The inquiries from Neurodiverse Couples. And that's.
That is really interesting. It was just waiting to happen, wasn't it? And that's most of my clients now. Neurodiverse Couples.
Josephine:
Welcome to Good Enough Counsellors, the podcast for growing a private practice without the pressure to be perfect. I'm Josephine Hughes, counsellor and creator of Therapy Growth Group, helping you get the clients you want and create the practice of your dreams.
rted working together back in:
Julie:
Wow. Gosh. I know.
Josephine:
It's a while, isn't it? And it's been a real joy to watch Julie flourish in her private practice.
I mean, she was already doing really well when she came to see me the first time, but her practice has changed.
So I thought it'd be really lovely to get Julie into the studio today to find out how things have grown for Julie over time and how she's developed her career and what she's doing next, because she's expanding. That's the lovely thing about Julie, you'll find as we go along. She's very modest, but she just gets on with stuff. So, Julie, welcome.
Julie:
Hello.
Josephine:
Hello. You're very welcome.
So, Julie, you know, I'd love to sort of help encourage people by showing them sort of like how far you've come, really, which might, you know, make you feel a bit like an imposter, but you have. So can you take us back to your journey to the beginning? What first drew you to working in
Julie:
therapy back in:
And then three months later, his sister was diagnosed with the same thing, but much differing degrees of, you know, he's more severe, she's milder.
From that moment, I decided to come out of the corporate world and change career because of the life experience, really parenting role, because things weren't just Your straightforward, neurotypical parenting then? It was something that we were new to and. And I wanted to meet with other parents really as well, to see what their perspective, what, you know.
Josephine:
Yeah. So tell us a bit. What did you do then? Did you go straight into therapy then, as in, you know, becoming a therapist or did you do other things first?
Were you more sort of working with other parents?
Julie:
Yeah, I did a lot of family work.
It was really weird because I'd spent about four years, four or five years at this point, getting lots of things in place for the two children at the time. They were both sort of primary school age and I was getting statements of educational need for the two of them. A lot of work.
It was like a project I went on. Lots of courses, Lots of courses. It was unreal.
And then I knew a lot of the voluntary sector and the statutory sector because I'd worked with these professionals with the two children for years. We went to see geneticists. I knew lots of things. It was really like a little journal of everything. Education. Yeah, it was an education. That's right.
So I. I saw this job advertised one day and I thought, oh, I would love to do that. It was a family support worker job with a charity, very small charity, working with parents and carers of children with special needs.
So I stupidly, whatever, applied for it and got the job.
Josephine:
Fantastic. I think we're going to say in the rest is history. Okay, carry on. So you got the job. Tell us, tell us what happened there.
Julie:
I was there about six, six, seven years. About seven years.
And the first sort of five years, I thought, great, we'd work them as families and then parents were coming to us because I would have to do some listening service for them, obviously, and help them with whatever was going on with their child, routines, boundaries, school, the lot, helping them fill in benefit forms. And there was parents starting to come to us and say, we have nowhere to go for emotional support.
And the trustees of that charity at the time said, there's something going on out there. Gps weren't really knowing where to send parents for some emotional support counseling.
And it was happening a lot and they said, we need counseling service really attached to the. The charity. Will you be willing to do some training? And that was. Oh, wow.
Josephine:
Yeah, yeah. So it. They did they sort of sponsor you to go through your training then?
Julie:
Yeah, so I stopped doing that. I sort of did the family work on certain days, divided it. We spoke to the tutor of the course.
We didn't want that dual relationship thing going on, so we did it quite. Quite well. I stopped doing the family worker for a couple of days and we just set up a counseling practice service rather. But we.
We interviewed loads of different supervisors to help us with it.
Josephine:
I was going to say, Julie, because at that point you weren't qualified. It must have felt quite daunting.
Julie:
It was very daunting, yeah. I started the course and they said, well, you need supervision on the course, as they do, don't they?
I think I did the introductory thing and then we did the first.
Josephine:
The next level, so level two, level three.
Julie:
And then before I did the diploma, my manager said, I think we need to interview some supervisors then, because she can't really. You can't do that paid, obviously, can you? And you can't. Anyway, it was all organized and we worked with the college as well.
It was really good processor. We interviewed a few people. We found one and I've worked with her for about 20 years now.
Josephine:
Oh, fantastic. It was a good choice. It was a good choice, yeah.
Julie:
Yeah.
Josephine:
So did. Did that supervisor sort of help you with, like, how to set it up and that sort of stuff?
Julie:
Yeah.
Josephine:
As a. As a new sort of counsellor, that wouldn't normally be what we do, would it? Set up service?
Julie:
No, I didn't do that. She helped with. She helped the managing team, I suppose, the trustees, to know what to do, because I had no clue on that.
Josephine:
But that must have really helped, you know, like you said, with dual relationships and, you know, really helping.
Because a lot of charities, I think they sort of think they'll do counseling, but then it can be really difficult, can't, because they don't necessarily know how counseling works and they expect you to have things like dual relationships. But with that supervisor in place, it must have really helped.
Julie:
She was so supportive. She knew, you know, what to do, the right things, to do, ethical things. Yeah, it was brilliant.
And she was trained in family, families and children and young people. She'd done a lot of work with NSPCC over the years as well, so she knew all the safeguarding.
Josephine:
So that was really helpful, I should think, and it helped to give you that sense of safety as well as you moved into the work. Yeah. So tell us what I say. You qualified and then you sort of carried on working with the charity, did you?
Julie:
For a year or two, yes. And then I realized that I need to do something else now. I was sort of outgrown all the day trips with families and things and doing things. Yeah.
Josephine:
You've probably done it by that time for quite a While.
Julie:
Quite a while, yeah.
My children are getting a bit older, so I did some family work with other big companies like Barnardo's and Parent Line plus, which, you know, family lives. It's Parent Line plus and Family Lives. I did a lot and I just learned so much with them.
And then I realized actually there wasn't a lot of support for neurodiverse families out there at that time. This was sort of early 90s, mid-90s, and. And thinking about that then as well, it struck me on another journey, I
Josephine:
s,:
Julie:
No. Well, it wasn't really talked about that much either, was it?
Josephine:
I mean, it was there, yeah. So. So you did sort of. So. So you sort of realized that support wasn't out there. So what happened next?
Julie:
I set up my counseling as a niche for parent and carers, then went private practice. I think I was, after about two years, qualified. Didn't feel experienced at first, but then I thought, no, I'm going to do it.
Two years qualified, set up my own private practice and it was slow to begin with, but I'd add all the contacts from previous sort of jobs and careers and things and charity, so that people knew me out there locally, I suppose, and I got social service referrals and things like that come in steadily.
Josephine:
So, I mean, I think that's always struck me when we've. We've. We've chatted together, is you do have this fabulous network of local contacts, don't you, of people who can refer on to you.
Did you have any sort of worries or doubts? I mean, I know it's a long time ago now, but can you remember seeing of how you felt about setting up in private practice?
Julie:
Oh, gosh, I was so anxious. In fact, my. My supervisor and I still talked to her, she said, do you remember, do you remember the early days, how anxious you were? Not the door.
Yes, I do, yes. Because she remarks now, she said, you're a completely different person now, Julie, and I think I am.
Josephine:
Yeah.
Julie:
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Josephine:
So when did you set your private practice up then? When was that?
Julie:
It was around:
Josephine:
So. So things sort of picked up. Did you stay working with the charities or did you go purely into private practice?
Julie:
I stopped the family work for a while and then I went to work for Big charity, which is in Gloucestershire, specifically working with children and young people. My supervisor recommended a look for that.
She said, if you want to keep your counseling skills up, it'd be worth doing that alongside the private work. So I've always sort of done that. I've worked in schools and things. So they took me on and I was there for about 10 years. Gosh.
So I did the enhanced children and young people courses through them and I just learned so much.
And then eventually they set up a. I was always sort of talking about parents, that the work, the support we do with children and teenagers, we start with parents first and help them. They set up a parent advice line. So I started working on that then.
Josephine:
So it's sort of real, sort of full circle, wasn't it?
So you went into the work because you wanted to see support parents, then you sort of went into children and families and then full circle back to parents again. And where are you now in the process? What. What's sort of like, who are you working with now?
Julie:
So then after about 10 years, and I thought, as I do change things again. Yeah,
Josephine:
we like to have a bit variety.
Julie:
Yeah, yeah. Hubby doesn't know what's coming next. Really poo thing. Yeah. I left there and. And I just thought, no, I'm gonna.
It's a time when I don't really advertise, but my website just gets. I mean, I've got lots of inquiries, so I'm quite. Yeah, I'm quite secure in my private work now. It's thriving, flourishing practice now.
But then I thought, no, don't stop there, Julie. As I do with my brain. Yeah. With a colleague that I used to work with. I've worked with her about 10 years.
We set up a community interest company about three years ago, New Rethrive. So between us, we. We've got some funding from Gloucestershire County Council, which is just brilliant.
We approached them and said, can we use some of your venues.
Josephine:
Yeah.
Julie:
To sort of test this out.
Josephine:
Yeah.
Julie:
And the family workers there and their managers took us with open arms. It was amazing, really amazing.
Josephine:
So we could really see there was a need.
Julie:
We started off that free, doing that free. And then they said, oh, we've got some funding. Would you like to carry on this? Because it's.
Because it's taken the sort of pressure off our family workers with the neurodiverse.
Josephine:
Right. And that's. So that's the people that you work with. Yeah, go on.
Julie:
So we work with, through that community interest company, we now work with local families so we can be working with parents and it's a counseling, coaching and mentoring service we offer. So, you know, I have regular calls with parents and we're looking at. Just this morning I had a call about emotional regulation. It's amazing.
It's amazing. We've got lots of different situations and circumstances with these families, so we can just step in and offer that expertise.
Josephine:
Did you do any counseling as part of that or is that more the sort of advice and mentoring we have done?
Julie:
Yeah, counseling is part of it if they want that.
So the family worker sends in a referral form to us and they'll put what the families need help with and then we contact the family and say, what, what, you know, what you need help with. We'll do a quick chat with them, assessments and then I'll put a plan together. I love it. Put plan together around what they need and what.
What's going on. And then we chat about it. We can tweak it.
Josephine:
Yeah.
Julie:
Then we have about seven, seven or eight sessions around that. But with the funding, because it's free. We're limited with the sessions really, but. But yeah, that's going fabulous.
We've had private people come along, families, parents. Can you coach us in. In this? We don't know what to do. Yeah, I love it.
Josephine:
So it's really good resource for the community and it has this sort of. Almost probably didn't look for it, but the fact that people come to see you privately as well, so it helps to generate inquiries.
Julie:
Yeah.
Josephine:
So there's a couple of points I. To go back to because, you know, you just. In typical Julie fashion. Oh, yeah, you know, I did this.
So number one, tell me about setting up the community interest company because I think for some of us that sounds like such a scary thing to do, to take. Take that step. Was it. Was it difficult to do?
Julie:
It was very scary. Yes.
Josephine:
Yeah.
Julie:
But my supervisor again has been encouraging me for years. You really need to do something about your skills and your passion. And I was like, no, no, not don't need to.
And funny that my other colleague, Tracy, who's co founded it, we. We kept having chats about it and because she was similar to me, working on the parent advice line and doing the counseling for families and.
And the parent support groups we used to do together with the charity and we, we both suddenly said one day, because she neurodiverse herself and she said, this is really lacking. We need to support, you know, local families out there. I said, I know I've always said this. So that's when we started the cogs turning, chatting.
Josephine:
Yeah.
Julie:
But Tracy's very much spreadsheets and business minded and all of that, so she's so. Oh my God, she's so useful. So she did all the company's house stuff.
Josephine:
Fantastic.
Julie:
I thought, great. She said, right, I'll be the back end, Julie, and you're the front end. You're the people.
Josephine:
Fantastic.
Julie:
So it's great. I mean, she does a bit, you know that she does the coaching as well, but. But she does all the back end of it, which I'm so grateful for.
Keep telling her out. I appreciate you because I think this
Josephine:
is the sort of lovely thing, isn't it? It sounds like it's. You've both bringing different skills.
Julie:
Yeah.
Josephine:
Because I mean, some of the things you've done is you have done talks and stuff like that, haven't you?
Julie:
You.
Josephine:
You like.
Julie:
Yeah.
Josephine:
Would it be true to say you like doing talks or you do do talks. I know. Do you like doing them?
Julie:
I've got better at them. Yeah. Like the training we've done, we've done. We've done a few bits of training through for new rethrive and it's. I'm.
I'm getting very much more confident now. If I know what I'm talking about, I'm great. I'll just chat with people.
Josephine:
You do know what you're talking about though. You've been here for years.
Julie:
Yeah. It depends what the topic is.
Josephine:
Yeah, yeah, come on.
Julie:
Yeah, I love it. I'm getting more confident at that, definitely. Because I'm passionate about the subject, I suppose.
Josephine:
I mean, I think what's coming up for me, it just. Do you ever sort of think to yourself, wow, you know, look at.
Not, not in a nasty sort of like big headed way, but you sort of look at it and think, wow, you know, I really have done so much for people in the community. Or does it feel like I've always. I've always. I'm not quite good enough. I need to carry on doing more what, what goes on, do you think?
Julie:
I am quite proud of the journey I've come on. I don't often think about it, to be honest.
I mean, hubby said the other day, he said, wow, what you've done, you know, considering from the beginning. And I thought, oh yeah. It's only when somebody mentions it, I might comment, you know, that I would think, oh yeah, yeah.
Josephine:
You've done all of this. Yeah. So that's sort of one thought.
I mean, just so, so good to Be in a partnership with someone who's got those skills so that you can concentrate on what you're good at and she can do what she's good at. That was one thing. And then you just very quickly sort of said, oh, yeah, I've got a website and I don't have any problems with getting inquiries.
I'm always getting inquiries. So I think people are probably sitting there thinking, oh, Julie, what's your secret? What do you do with your website? How have you done it?
Julie:
Well, that's a laugh because I do all the content, all the words and the. And the people that are set up by websites.
The chap used to come around, visit me, do a home visit when he first set it all up, showing me what to do. And then in the end one day I did something wrong and he said, right, Julie, you're not allowed to touch anything now.
I thought, yeah, I deleted some headings or something, or I was trying to put this thing on and I was saying to him, oh, for goodness sake, why isn't it working? You know? But it was me and hubby was like shaking. He said, it's probably you, Julie. And I was like, yeah, I thought I was good on computers.
But anyway, since that day, it's been a standing joke now not to touch my own website. I'm not to go into it. Or. So I've got this lovely lady that puts all my blogs on.
I write them, send them to her and she graphics them up, pretties them up for me.
Josephine:
Yeah, yeah.
Julie:
And then them. I think last year I went through it all and I thought, no, this website needs revamping. It looks. It looks sort of too old or still, I don't know.
And I thought I went right through each page and revamped it and wrote it all out.
Josephine:
Yeah.
Julie:
And sent a big rewrite, a big rewrite. It took me weeks. Oh, in, you know, on and out, in and out of it. So. And I thought, now I'm going to put about neurodiversity on there, its own page.
So, yeah, I've put on there Neurodiverse couples. Oh, that's the other thing I did training for couples work. Yeah. Because I was getting more and more parents at the very beginning.
That's a full circle coming for help. You know, how do we do this parenting thing? And it was impacting their couple relationship depend on what was going on.
So I thought, no, I'm going to put that on there because the courses I've done and the experience and the training and as soon as I put that. As soon as that page was loaded. Oh, my goodness. The inquiries from neurodiverse couples.
Josephine:
Wow. And that's really interesting, isn't it?
Julie:
Really interesting. It was just waiting to happen, wasn't it? And that's most of my clients now. Neurodiverse couples.
Josephine:
Wow. And did you. I mean, you must enjoy the couple's work.
Julie:
Yeah.
Josephine:
Found it really difficult.
Julie:
I love it sometimes. Well, it's very challenging. Energy draining, isn't it? But I have. I still have a mixture. I have the teenagers, the. The adults and the. And the couples.
Yeah. But mostly couples at the moment. It's amazing. Yeah.
Josephine:
Yeah. Tell us a bit more about that sort of works. I think, you know, they're sort of quite specialist really, isn't it?
Working with sort of neurodivergent couples. What sort of issues are you working with?
Julie:
It's always communication. Even if the neurodiverse are neurotypical, it's communication and that leads on to lack of connection then. And it's about. If the neurodiverse.
It's a lot of emotional regulation. So not sure about how to deal with these big emotions coming up and what. And it's often an imbalance of partner's emotions.
They're on different levels and they maybe
Josephine:
don't understand each other.
Julie:
So they're missing each other. I always do that thing. They're missing each other. So we need to turn towards each other, as Gottman says, and not away from each other. So I'm just.
It's a lot of coaching on how to not do the ineffective coping behaviors and how to be together. Nurturing more.
Josephine:
Yeah.
Julie:
And I'm giving them sort of communication scripts. I'm a bit bossy.
Josephine:
Like what's a part of coaching really? Isn't it is that. Is it often comes up. Yeah, yeah.
Julie:
When this happens. Help. And they come back and the transfer. I think, wow. You know, if they tried it, all the works done between the sessions, I can give them the tools.
But these fabulous people do do the work in between the sessions and they come back better for it, hopefully. Yeah.
Josephine:
So much like they just need some sort of understanding and direction and then.
Julie:
Yeah.
Josephine:
And then they. They just work on it themselves.
Julie:
A lot of understanding around ADHD and autism. I've spent a lot of time doing that and explaining how that works in the relationship as well.
Josephine:
Yeah, yeah. Helping them to understand each other better and so presumably EMP with each other.
Julie:
Yeah, yeah.
Josephine:
So it's sort of. I suppose in many ways it's.
It's like sort of ordinary couples counseling, but with an added dimension that you need to bring in this sort of understanding and the emotional regulation as well, perhaps.
So, yeah, yeah, I suppose what's coming up for me, you know, it's a while since, since we've sort of really talked in depth, is just how much you being you and you sort of being interested in your passions, which is, you know, parenting, neurodivergence, you know, all the fat sort of family work that has really stood you in good stead, hasn't it? I mean, you have become quite a sort of go to person, I guess in your area for, for these sorts of things.
Julie:
Yeah, yeah. When I was at the charity, I was getting lots of calls from other, from colleagues saying how do I deal with this neurodiversity or autism or adhd?
And I wasn't even, I wasn't, I wasn't an expert in the room, but I suppose I'm an expert in the room with a few people in there that don't know about it. Suppose in that sense.
But I didn't feel out, but because I kept shouting and I was passionate about it in meetings they kept saying, oh, she's the go to. Then we lost Julie.
Josephine:
Interesting. That's really interesting. I've just done a podcast episode on Authority actually and becoming the go to person and that's.
It sounds like that's what you established was to be somebody who people just come to because they know that, you know, you know a lot about it. Do you ever find that sort of sense of imposter comes up for you, like you just said? Well, I'm not, you know, I may be an expert with a few people.
Is it difficult to acknowledge to yourself that something.
Julie:
Yeah, yeah. I think if that didn't come up, that would be dangerous because I'd be too complacent probably.
I think we need that and you know, we're skilling ourselves up constantly, aren't we? And I think, yeah, I want to be good enough, do no harm.
Josephine:
So that sort of little bit of self doubt is actually quite a healthy way of staying on track and making sure that you are actually doing acting ethically.
Julie:
Really?
Josephine:
That's. That's what you're saying?
Julie:
Yeah, definitely, yeah. Safely certainly is my number one thing.
Josephine:
So going back to sort of like, you know, we talked a little bit about your network.
Have you got any sort of tips for other therapists who might be sort of thinking, oh, you know, I do know a few people, but I don't know how to Go about, you know, telling them about my practice or anything like that. Have you got any sort of things you could say to people to reassure them about chatting to colleagues and that type of thing?
Julie:
I would if. If they're on the social media, like the LinkedIn or the Facebook page, I would keep on chatting to other people.
If you're in groups and things, you know, like. Like yours and the therapy growth group, we've. We've always inputted, haven't we? Chatted.
Just generally chatting to other people and you get known then for your niche. I think that's just that the safety in that you're not telling them, I'm an expert in this, but you say, no, I've got an idea about that.
And just generally getting to know people, I think in a friendly way. Not salesy.
Josephine:
Yeah. Because, I mean, as I said, you've been sort of part of my world since before COVID which is like. Feels like another. Another world, doesn't it?
Did you find it sort of helpful to have a community of counselors around you? Just. Does that help, do you think, to have that?
Julie:
That was so helpful, Josephine. You can't imagine. That was really helpful. And that was so helpful.
Just to look forward to that, I suppose, chatting about things, sharing experience, reassurance, isn't it, you know, you need to know, am I doing this right? Because this fear. Fear comes up, I think, and especially in my niche. Fee with fee with other counselors, that's why they're ringing me.
So they don't want to get it wrong for the person they're working with. It's real fear there, I think, and for myself, you know, when my son was diagnosed, I was thinking, oh, am I doing this right? Yeah, yeah.
There's a real fear there, isn't there? It is that, oh, I hope I do this right. So.
Josephine:
And we don't know, do we? And we don't really know what right is. Sort of do it to the best of our ability. But you sort of think, well, am I barking up the wrong tree?
Am I doing the wrong thing? Yeah, yeah. And I think there's something around just being able to share those doubts with other people.
Julie:
Definitely.
Josephine:
And usually you are actually along the right lines, aren't you? It's just that you need to. To have that reassurance and support, I think.
Julie:
Yeah, I'll say. I always say you're the expert on you.
Josephine:
Yeah, I think as well. It's good, isn't it?
It's good to have that, like you say, to have a Little bit of humility around it, so that it really makes us listen to people and really makes us respect them as the experts in their own lives. And we know we haven't got all the answers, that they've sort of, to a certain extent, got to work it out.
We can sort of guide them, but they've actually got to work out what's the best way for them to do it. So, yeah, a little bit humility, I think.
Julie:
Yeah.
Josephine:
Helps. Yeah.
Julie:
And I work with so many parents, I'm working with parents at the moment that have got the experience, but they just don't know what to do. And, you know, and they want that guidance, I suppose. And I'm saying you're the expert on your child, you really are. Because there's a.
A lot of thing, A lot of derogatory parenting blame sometimes, isn't there, with this.
Josephine:
Yeah.
Julie:
Some of the systems we've got, you
Josephine:
know, I think, especially at the moment. And, you know, speaking of COVID it's got a lot worse since then, isn't it? I mean, I think.
I don't know if you work with younger children, but there's more anxiety about, isn't there?
And, you know, there's a backlash now against sort of gentle parenting and, you know, people saying, oh, you know, you've been too soft on them and all this sort of stuff. And it's sort of like. It's very difficult for parents because they're just trying to do the best that they can, aren't they? And it's.
It's really hard.
Julie:
So.
Josephine:
So, like, if you look back over the last few years, what do you think's helped you grow the most?
Julie:
I think my. I think that. I think the works guided me because you get the themes, don't you, Coming to see you for the help and. And the theme. Definitely.
Changing the websites definitely helped. Revamping. That definitely helped because that. And the blogs, the monthly blogs. I do help.
I had a person come with a printout of one of my blogs, would you believe? In the Room. Yeah.
Josephine:
They'd sort of found.
Julie:
Wow. She'd found me, researched the subject. I think I'd done a Cassandra syndrome blog. And she actually printed it off and brought it to the room.
In the room, my blog. She said, I know that's where I got it from.
Josephine:
Just before we carry on, if Julie talking about blogging has got you thinking about your website, that's actually really timely because inside Therapy Growth group, we're just starting the next section of the Action Steps programme and one of the options is blogging.
So if you've been meaning to write blogs but keep putting it off, you'll get support with choosing titles, working out what to write about and actually getting it done with accountability along the way. I'll pop the details into the show notes.
I think that's a really interesting thing to hear about from you, is that what you've done all along is you've. It's like you say, it's your passion and you've wanted to grow, but also you've followed the need, haven't you?
Yeah, you've seen the needs and you've thought like when you set up your community interest company, you could see that there was a need that wasn't being met. I think there's just such a heart in you for service, isn't there? For helping people sometimes.
This is a bit of a philosophical question, but I think sometimes, you know, they say we're wounded healers, that we're trying to help people sort of not go down the same, maybe have the same experience as us or to alleviate that experience. People. Do you think that's part of what motivates you?
Julie:
I think so. I think my first thought was setting up the counseling practice would. Where would my children go? Where would I go?
Josephine:
Yeah.
Julie:
And that. That's the theme, I think, here. Yeah, yeah.
Josephine:
It's just been a real inspiration for you. Yeah, yeah.
So let's sort of think a little bit more now because obviously you've set up the CIC and you're now moving into doing sort of more group work, aren't you? Tell us a bit about that.
Julie:
Well, with that. With that example of that person coming to see me with a Cassandra syndrome.
I did a lot of courses over the years on neurodiversity, and one particular course struck me. We were talking about couples, and the example was that the male or female might be neurodiverse and the other partner might be neurotypical. So.
So not having autism or ADHD or anything. So very different communication styles there. And there was a lady I met on this course and she was that sort of guru in it.
She writes lots of books and things. So I ended up referring lots of female clients to her that were struggling with their partners. They just couldn't find a way.
They felt lost emotionally. They were really emotionally deprived.
They kept telling me, because there was no emotional feedback from their partner, they couldn't get to that vulnerable level, that next level. And I was getting this.
And then I put the Cassandra syndrome blogs out and wow, what what an influx I had then of women contacting me and said, your blog spoke to me. I'm going through this with my husband or partner. We can't get anywhere with it. Have you got a support group? And I went, not the moment.
So then, ding, ding. Yeah. So I was like, oh, right. And then I was getting physical clients in front of me asking.
I mean, I had one person ask in front of her husband, have you got a support group for this? And he was quite happy for her to go, you know, it was all.
Josephine:
Yeah, well, I mean, it's. It's really helpful, isn't it, for people to, you know, because you often learn from other women.
Julie:
Yeah.
Josephine:
You know, and share that shared experience and, you know, it can help you empathize more with your other half. Yeah, go on.
Julie:
That's right. So it's not a blame thing. So from that, a few months ago, I felt, right.
So I contact the lady that was doing the training on this before, emailed her and said, what do you think about this? I don't know what I was expecting, but. And then she said, oh, actually, what great idea. There's only one group I've known of in the usa.
And I thought, wow.
Josephine:
Oh, gosh, yeah, that's.
Julie:
That's lacking, isn't it? So again, here we go again. Julie's off again. So I thought, right, I'm gonna try this because of the need.
People contacted me through those blogs and I thought, wow. So I'm starting it on March 13th. It's a. It's a support group just for women next Friday and I've got four women signed up. I'm so impressed with that.
Josephine:
Yeah. So is this face to face that they'll be coming?
Julie:
It's online. It's online. Zoom. Because they're all over the country, different parts of the country. So, yeah, yeah. So I've got four minutes early days.
It's my first one. But to get four people, I thought that was quite impressive to.
Josephine:
Yeah, it shows that there's a need, isn't it? And have they come because they got in touch with you as a result of the blog?
Julie:
Yeah, they've looked at people often Google late at night when they're worried, don't they? And they're looking for support. And I think that's happened on most of those people. They've said, oh, I've seen your blog and do you offer support?
And so I've now put that as a separate page on the website. Support workshop. We do a bit of psycho education around neurodiversity and emotional regulation and things, but it's just a space to be heard. And.
Josephine:
Yeah.
I don't know if you were able to meet other parents with the Fragile X syndrome babies, but I know, for me, the value of being able to speak to other parents who. I mean, with me, it's with kids who are transgender. And, you know, you just.
It's lovely, actually, because you meet up and then you realize that your kids are all very, very similar, and you just think, oh, so I. Sophia, it was so lovely when I got together with people, and I thought, finally I found people who've got kids like me.
Julie:
Yeah. You want to look for them, don't you? It's a whole new world that. And you don't even have to speak, do you find? They just understand, don't they?
Josephine:
Yeah, they do, yeah. Yeah. And it's so lovely. So that's what you're providing for these. For these women.
And I probably imagine it really will help to, you know, strengthen their relationships as well.
Julie:
That's what I'm hoping for. It's certainly not a judgment or a blame thing. I want them to. To know that they've got capacity to do something to. We need.
I think we need to build them up first because they're in such a emotional regulation state, if that makes sense. Yeah. But, yeah.
Josephine:
Stabilized.
Julie:
Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Safety. Offer. Safety.
Josephine:
What struck me then was when you said about. Can't remember exactly how you said it, but that sort of thought that essentially what you're going to do is help them be more empowered.
And I just thought, yeah, that's. That's very. Julie, actually, because I think this is what you've done, isn't it?
Is that, like you say, sort of the world changed for you, and you left the corporate world when your son was diagnosed. And yet, wow, how you've used that. What could be a really difficult situation in your life to really change lives, so many lives as a result of that.
And you are somebody. I hope people who are listening will. Will agree with me.
Very sort of inspirational in how you've grown and just caught those opportunities and just always looking for new ways to help people.
Julie:
Yeah.
Josephine:
And the clients are flowing in. So what still excites you about the work that you do?
Julie:
I don't know. I'm a bit weird. Like, meeting new people and seeing what they bring, I suppose. Well, that was an anxiety probably right at the beginning. Oh, God.
What these people are going to be like, what they're going to, you know, relate to me. But now I just think, oh, well, we'll see what's in the room.
Josephine:
Say confidence has grown.
Julie:
Yeah, definitely.
Josephine:
It's switched around from it being like, oh, my goodness, this is really scary because I don't know what they're going to bring to. Oh, this is really interesting because I don't know what they're gonna bring.
Julie:
Yeah.
Josephine:
And hopefully that.
That will reassure anybody who's just starting out in the journey and feeling that sort of scared feeling of, oh, my goodness, you know, what's going to happen to. To be able to transform that. And actually, this is going to be really interesting.
Julie:
The thing is, they don't know what you know, do they? They don't know what you know. And they're there for help, so it's. It's reassuring. Anyway, they've already made that first big step.
It's a huge step, isn't it, to contact us?
Josephine:
So they're already sort of making changes. Yeah. Julie, do you do supervision?
Julie:
No, no, that's one thing I'm not gonna do.
Josephine:
I just wanted to check because I know people will be thinking, oh, I wonder if she does supervision, I can
Julie:
do more mental mentorship, support colleagues apart. We do. In fact, I do that with Tracy at Neuroslife. She's a trend supervisor.
I do it more in a way that, you know, offering ideas and support rather than the ethical ethics of it. She knows more about. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Josephine:
So if someone was sort of like thinking of doing something similar in their sort of area.
Julie:
Yeah.
Josephine:
You might be a good person to get in touch with.
Julie:
Yeah, sure.
Josephine:
Oh, that's fantastic.
Julie:
Yeah.
Josephine:
So just sort of thinking about private practice. Is there something that you worried about that turned out not to be as difficult as you thought it would be?
Julie:
Yeah, probably. Probably that. Well, initially, the children side thinking, oh, gosh.
I mean, I've got my own two children, but it's very different supporting other people's children. Yeah. But I think you. With the child. With the child, you've got to be exploring your own inner child in that sense, if you like.
You've got to be comfortable to play and comfortable to do whatever that. Whatever you get in the room with the child, because you're going to get all sorts of different variations of things in the room.
I don't want to jump about if they've got ADHD or. Or autism, they might not want to look at you, or seating left to be changed. And I've gone with that over the years. I just. I'm just.
I mean, yesterday I sat with Children creating play. Doh creations. You know, it was great.
Josephine:
So you've, you've allowed your inner child to come out and play as well. Yeah.
Julie:
And say, you know, it's okay because that's what they need.
Josephine:
Yeah. So do you think that was sort of like almost like a, you know, your own personal development has got you to that point where you can just.
Julie:
Definitely. Yeah.
Josephine:
Yeah. About being you, isn't it? And allowing yourself to grow and, you know, I guess the thing to remind ourselves of is you are.
I don't know how long you've been, how long you've been working for now, but 20 or so plus years into your counseling.
Julie:
Yeah. In the council. About nearly 20 years. Yeah.
Josephine:
So hopefully that will reassure people as well that you don't. This is, this is someone who's 20 years in, not someone who's right at the start.
Julie:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have to be brave. You end up being more confident, don't you? And braver.
Josephine:
So what do you feel proud about, Julie, when you look at your practice? What, what, what makes you feel proud?
Julie:
I feel proud about being there and being able to support people and just, I think, I think the website makes me proud, putting the content on it.
And also I've just set up a new Tick Tock account, which I'm immensely proud of because you know me in technology, I'm like, oh, dear, what's gonna happen next? What buttons am I going to press wrong?
Josephine:
And how's it going? Tick Tock.
Julie:
Oh, my goodness, that is great. I've had some lovely comments. So I've called myself the Neuro relationship Coach because I think that's just app, that is.
So I'm putting lots of ideas on there around communication and regulation, but that's out my comfort zone. Do videos. Oh. I've tried to teach myself. You're okay, it's fine.
Josephine:
That's it. I mean, and, and I think the thing is it's not the professionalism of the video, especially on Tick Tock.
You know, people sit in their cars and talk to camera, don't they? It's more, it's what you're bringing to it.
Julie:
Yeah.
Josephine:
You know.
Julie:
Yeah.
Josephine:
Your personality is so lovely and you just want to give and that will just shine through, I should think.
Julie:
I hope so.
Josephine:
Yeah. Yeah. Well done. That's another sort of brave step that you've taken doing that.
Julie:
I'm getting very brave.
Josephine:
So we'll pop.
You know, I'll make sure I've got the, the proper name of the TikTok that I Can put that in the show notes and then you're available@juliewalescounselling.co.uk aren't you? Yeah. So people can find you there and all your, all your lovely blogs. Brilliant.
So if someone was feeling unsure about their own practice, so with the benefit of your 20 plus years experience, if someone was feeling unsure about their practice, what would you want to say to them?
Julie:
I would say, I mean, initially I went on a business plan course before I set up, sort of in the process of that and that really helped me to think, what stages do I need to do? Because we need to be visible out there, market your practice and look at the logistics that, the money side, the businessy stuff.
Because we're not taught that in our counseling process training courses, are we? So. Yeah, yeah, that taught me a lot and I thought, right, this is a business and. But it's hard for counselors to get. We still need the money.
But you're offering a service thing, isn't it? That's a really hard thing to think.
But now I think, you know, if somebody discusses that, the payment, I'm quite confident now and saying what the price is and you know, when the door and when the shop pair and I'll say, you know, I appreciated the time with you today. Can you pop over the.
Josephine:
So did you find it, what's, what's helped you to feel sort of more comfortable with the money side of things? Because I think a lot of us can really shy away from that, shy away from charging enough, shy away from chasing invoices and that sort of stuff.
What's, what's helped you, do you think, to, to do that?
Julie:
I think I want to offer value for money. So I'm, I'm forever over providing.
I'll print, I'll create handouts and print them out and I take a great big bag of stuff with me, whoever's coming in the room and I'll think, oh, that might help with that person or that might help. So I'm thinking, I think, and hopefully I'm offering value. Yeah, and also confidence, maturity, because I'm in that age now.
Josephine:
Yeah, yeah.
And, and that helps you to be able to be quite confident and say, yeah, you know, this is how much it is because you know deep down that you're offering. So probably, probably could be charged more maybe.
Julie:
Yeah, but I don't want, Yeah, I can't, I can't go that far yet.
Josephine:
Yeah, well, you know, you're making it affordable as well, aren't you?
But yeah, I Think there's something in sort of knowing that you are offering a huge amount of value, so that helps you to charge what you are charging and not to be worried about it.
Julie:
Yeah, yeah.
Josephine:
So self confidence, as you say. Yeah. Well, thank you so much, Julie, for coming along and good luck with the. With the women's support group. So is that on your website as well?
If people want to find out about it.
Julie:
So if maybe under support workshop page on there. Yeah, yeah.
Josephine:
So I was just thinking, because people were listening, may well think, oh, I've got a client that might help because it probably sit quite nicely alongside therapy. It's not therapy itself, but it's support for women.
Julie:
Yeah, definitely.
Josephine:
And have you got any other plans coming up? You know, what's. What's. You've done this. Have you got anything beyond doing the women's group or is that.
Julie:
I'm thinking. Well, we're certainly. With New Rethrive, we're going to set up parent support groups locally. We started out doing Face to Face, so that.
That's a need that's there just to get parents having a cup of coffee. And we can do little psycho education workshops, but. But definitely more training for counselors and neurodiversity. I think that's lacking. So that's.
That's a light bulb moment on me. Question mark in my head at the moment. Yeah.
Josephine:
Around thinking about that.
Julie:
Around thinking like, you know, support with that, because I've got lots of tools to offer that, so I think I can do something with that. I think it's a big thing. Lack. And we don't have that on the courses either, which needs to be, I think.
Josephine:
Yeah, yeah, I agree with you. Yeah, we said we. I mean, the fields sort of expanded so much even since, you know, we first started working together, we didn't really know.
Many of us were sort of neurodivergent ourselves and that knowledge has grown in the last few years as well. So. Yeah, brilliant. Well, we look forward to hearing about that. Julie, you'll be back on the show to tell us when you've developed that. Yeah.
So thank you so much for coming along. I really appreciate it and it's so lovely to chat and find out where you're at. So thank you, Julie.
Julie:
It's been a pleasure. Thank you, Josephine.
Josephine:
Thanks for. Listen, do come and join my Facebook community. Good enough. Counsellors.
And for more information about how I can help you develop your private practice, please Visit my website, JosephineHughes.com if you found this episode helpful, I'd love it if you could share it with a fellow therapist or leave a review on your podcast app. And in closing, I'd love to remind you that every, every single step you make gets you closer to your dream. I really believe you can do it.
