Bonus Short: From Episode 41 - Beware of the driving stories you tell yourself with guest Benjamin Ryan

Link to Full Episode: https://pod.fo/e/150256

Mentioned in this episode:

Find our Drive Calm Journal on Amazon

* Do you avoid driving whenever possible? * Do you feel like the only person who is anxious about driving? * Would you like to drive wherever you want, whenever you want? * Are you ready to take action to improve your driving confidence? Follow the prompts, questions, exercises and reflections each week to create your own goal based action plan to work on your driving mindset. Created by Kev & Tracey Field to help anxious drivers take action and track their progress over twelve weeks based on our unique Drive Calm® System, you set your own goals so you can work at your own pace.

Drive Calm Journal on Amazon

So I really enjoyed that

conversation with Benjamin and

2

I'm really grateful to him for.

3

Coming on and giving up his

time to talk to us like that.

4

Yeah, I found it brilliant.

5

I found it.

6

So enthraulling and.

7

I just loved listening to him.

8

Well, I guess that's a good

thing for hypnotherapist.

9

But he didn't put me to sleep.

10

And we found out what

hypnosis was all about.

11

So that's, that's good.

12

Yeah.

13

And.

14

And that idea that actually

when you bring it down to its

15

simplest form, It's suggestion.

16

And suggestions are around us.

17

All the time.

18

Other people are suggesting things But

also we suggest things to ourselves.

19

Exactly and, you know, that's the.

20

What they try to do is to reverse

the thoughts that people have.

21

I can't pass my test.

22

Well, let's change that thought

and thought may well have been

23

going around in your head.

24

I can't pass my test.

25

I can't pass my test.

26

I can't pass my test.

27

But changing that to, I can pass my

test may take a little longer, but you

28

know, just changing that thought process.

29

Yeah, definitely.

30

And that.

31

Light bulb I'd say that that really

was a light bulb for me, that idea

32

that actually people are using.

33

Exactly the same process when

they're telling themselves those

34

stories again and again, and again.

35

And every time you tell the

story, it becomes stronger.

36

It becomes more embedded.

37

And that's a form of hypnosis.

38

In a really unhelpful way.

39

And, so what Benjamin saying that he's

doing is just reversing all of that.

40

That made so much sense to me.

41

It sounded quite simple.

42

Didn't it?

43

He did make it sound quite simple.

44

But then you think about it

and it's like, Well, yeah.

45

That is isn't it.

46

You have those.

47

Unhelpful thoughts.

48

Well, what is the helpful thought that's

opposite to Then have that more often.

49

Yeah.

50

And we often say when you know anybody

who works with us, we'll say all over

51

the place, thoughts are not facts.

52

And, you know, those stories that you tell

yourself so often they get embellished.

53

They get added to, they become

more entertaining almost.

54

They're not always true.

55

They're not factual very often.

56

Her and look at the process as well

That's one thing I'm going to take away

57

from that is I'm going to start looking

at the process that people have, you

58

know, what is their process for dealing

with a situation, whatever that may be,

59

It's a maneuver or.

60

Um, driving on a motorway.

61

Um, yeah, what's the process that,

they've that going along with?

62

I think that'd be really interesting too.

63

Unravel.

64

Yeah.

65

Maybe find out a bit more about

that would be a good thing.

66

Detective.

67

comes back to detective

work and reflection.

68

This is both of those things.

69

One of the other points that Benjamin

made, which really resonated

70

with me was that when somebody

has got a phobia, it's often.

71

Their reaction.

72

That they're trying to avoid is often not.

73

So he used the example of a spider,

so somebody sees a spider and actually

74

when it really boils down to it,

75

Somebody is more scared of

their reaction to the spider.

76

Then they are of the spider itself.

77

And that rings true for do maneuvers.

78

That rings true for driving tests.

79

But the other thing that, that.

80

Reminded me It's people

who have panic attacks.

81

And it's really clear that actually

people will do anything to,

82

Having a panic attack is

a horrible experience.

83

and, people become more

scared of the panic attack.

84

Than anything else.

85

Yeah.

86

And so that's exactly the same thing

that trying to avoid having those really

87

uncomfortable unpleasant feelings,

physical feelings and emotions.

88

Recognizing that, being able to

unpick that and recognizing that

89

it is the response, that actually

is what people are most scared of.

90

And just remember as well, you.

91

It's not a magic wand.

92

You have to put some of

the work in yourself.

93

And we got all these tools tricks

and whatever we can But it's down

94

to the individual at the end of

the day to go away and practice and

95

put them into operation, I suppose.

96

Yeah.

97

And it doesn't matter who you're

seeking help from when it comes to.

98

Well, when it comes to nerves,

anxiety, phobias, not just in driving

99

in anything, it doesn't matter who

you're seeking help from actually

100

it's you who has to do the work.

101

So somebody else can

introduce you to the tools.

102

They can help you see some patterns

in your stories or your processes.

103

But in the end, it's you, who has to

put that effort and engagement in?

104

Yeah, like you say, there is no magic

105

We love it.

106

If that was, yeah, it

would be really good.

107

So we hope that you found that

episode is as interesting as we did.