People have varying definitions of joy. Some tend to look for material things to guarantee such joy and associate it with happiness. While only a few go beyond these external things to find the true meaning of joy. However, with the society that people live in – people succumb more to superficial things in defining joy and bridge such ideas to happiness. But the real question is, how do we seek joy in this world fully dictated with material things in defining life's beauty?
Erin Mac joins the podcast to talk about joy. Specifically, how you could recognize your experience and learn to strategize it to a positive experience regardless of outside influences. As someone who's built her company 20 years ago, Erin shares more how money can't provide the real meaning of joy, and it won’t help if you only rely on external things. In this episode, she shares how one can start finding oneself and get on that journey.
Impenetrable Joy
Impenetrable joy is the experience that you no longer have to be at the mercy of or beholden to people or circumstances to dictate as to whether you're having a good day or a bad day, or for that matter, a good life or a bad life. You're no longer on the roller coaster ride of emotions, like when someone says something or something happens, and all of a sudden, our mood switches, and we start going south. When you recognize that you are responsible for your experiences and learn how to change them into the experiences you want, then create a penetrable joy, which is internal. It's not based on something that's going on externally.
It's recognizing that some things are going on behind the scenes that we are often unaware of, and when we can get awareness of them, we can begin to unpack what's going on. Not so much on why it happened, what were the circumstances or the things that led to the experience, but more just in the proactive state of how can I change that experience?
Joy vs Happiness
The difference between happiness and joy is that happiness is based on external things. It's a brand-new car, but it's short-lived and is based on an external thing. Joy is an internal experience that you can create throughout each day. However, the idea of happiness that we've been taught in our society and many other societies is based on external things. But the real joy is the kind of joy available now, regardless of what's going on out here. The internal experiences, the one that's meaningful and has a purpose. And that's what we're after. But people don't know it because we don't make these distinctions.
Sufficiency and Excess
We have this idea of sufficiency and excess. It's like, what is going to be enough for me? Is it enough to have a nice home, to have shelter, to have access to food and water? Is it enough to have those things to have deep, meaningful relationships with people and purpose and meaning in your life? Or do I need to subscribe to what society would have you believe?
If that's the case, why are multimillionaires or billionaire clients also miserable despite having all the money? It's because of that happiness thing they were pursuing. Because it's the journey inside that has meaning and purpose. It's not the exterior nor the external things.
Journey of Growth
People are essentially here for growth. As humans like to evolve as human beings. And when we can align with that idea, then we find purpose and meaning in our life. Hence, the way to begin the growth journey is to recognize that you do not have purpose and meaning. And sometimes, that comes in the form of a crisis. Like recognizing that if you keep doing the same things repeatedly, you will have the same result.
Now, it's that idea that you want to do something different. But if you don't insert or apply new information, you will continue to do the same things repeatedly. It's not reconciliation – but a recognition of that story and how it's playing out in your life. When you start to recognize the pieces that are showing up in your life and heal some of those emotional scars, you can begin to retrain your brain and rewire it in ways that make more sense for the future that you're trying to create.
Patterns of Behavior
You start to see these trigger things that are happening in your life. It's not anxiety, or stress, or overwhelm or worry. They don't happen in a container. It's because of something that is triggering something that you are either unaware of or latent in you. And when you have recognition around it, take it as an opportunity to switch that to shift right there. Try to recognize it right before it happens. Take a deep breath, take at the moment, where's it living in your body? What could you possibly do differently? And it's just those little things, but you have to become that scientist or detective to see what's going on. Otherwise, the patterns of behaviour will keep going.
Five Pieces
It is not easy to assess oneself, especially when you're someone not used to doing that. But there are some things one can do. First is initial awareness, like, ''I don't talk about the crisis", or, "I just, I don't want to be like this". Second is emotional awareness, like, "how do I start to recognize when I'm in reaction to people and circumstances". The third piece is getting intentional about what you would like to create to avoid getting stuck. The fourth piece is strategy, like rewiring the brain to habitual things that you love to do and thinking about the action you can take. And the last piece is practice. Because practising these things for years, these habits, thoughts, and actions can help you go consistently and get the good kind of results.
Baby Steps
There are incremental steps that you can do that are easy. It's when you begin to put things in large categories, and they become overwhelming. So, take it slow! If you recognize that you are in a state very often that doesn't feel good, like stress, anxiety, overwhelm, worry, depression, sadness, etc. Begin to seek alternative solutions to that experience.
However, it would help if you were intentional about what you want to achieve, as the cessation of anxiety or stress. Essentially, there's somebody there for you out in the world that's talking about these things that can help you. You can also start to read books, watch videos, and go to seminars. All of those things are growing in the right direction. And there's so much free content out there. Seek until you find one and make it a part of your life, not just today.
“Impenetrable joy is the experience that you no longer have to be at the mercy of or beholden to people or circumstances to dictate as to whether you're having a good day or a bad day, or for that matter, a good life or a bad life.”
“When we can recognize that we are responsible for those experiences, and learn how to change them into the experiences that we want, then we can create a penetrable joy.”
“Happiness is based on external things.”
“Joy is an internal experience that you can create throughout each day.”
“Joy is available. Now, regardless of what's going on out here. The internal experiences, the one that's meaningful, has purpose.”
“One of the reasons why we'd never have enough is, first of all, we never define what is enough, we never take the time to actually define what that looks like.”
“It's the journey inside that has meaning and purpose. It's not the exterior, the external things.”
“We are here for the purpose of growth, as humans like to evolve as a human being. That is why we're here. And when we can align with that idea, then we find purpose and meaning in our life.”
“And when you can recognize that and heal some of that emotional scars, so to speak, from those experiences, then you can begin to retrain your brain, rewire it and rewire it in ways that make more sense for the future that you're trying to create.”
“And when you have recognition around it, you can begin to move the dial in the direction that you want, ever so slowly, by recognizing it quicker and quicker.”
“Get intentional about what you'd like to create, like, who are you? What do you want to do in this world? I believe everybody has a unique offering for this world, figure out what that is.”
“If you recognize that you are in a state very often that doesn't feel good, like stress, anxiety, overwhelm, worry, depression, sadness, whatever the thing is, then begin to seek alternative solutions to that, to that experience.”
“Try putting new things in your life each day, not just one time and done.”
“If the predominant experience that you're having is not one of joy, then please keep seeking. It's possible this life is beautiful.”
“Find your person and get on that journey because you matter. You're worth it.”
