In this episode of the Legacy Lounge podcast, Brin’na explores the profound impact of leadership on personal legacy and the stories that are shared about leaders at the dinner table. Through personal anecdotes and reflective questions, she emphasizes the importance of integrity, emotional intelligence, and the moments that define a leader's legacy. Brenna challenges listeners to consider the stories they are creating through their leadership and to engage in authentic conversations that foster growth and connection.
Takeaways
• When you become a leader, you become dinner table conversation.
• Leadership is not just about metrics; it's about people.
• Your leadership legacy is built in moments.
• Choose curiosity over criticism in leadership.
• People remember what you do more than what you say.
• Dinner table conversations reveal the real truth about leadership.
• Ask yourself what energy you bring into the room.
• Listening to understand is crucial for effective leadership.
• Your actions teach others about your values.
• Creating a magnetic culture is about storytelling.
When you become a leader, you become dinner table conversation.
Hey there, leaders. Welcome back to the Legacy Lounge podcast. I'm your host, Brin'na Rollins Williams.
And today I want to share something special with you. It's a personal share, if you will, but it did help change the way that I think about leadership and legacy. It's a story that starts with a six-year-old girl in a checkered princess dress and ends with a sidewalk breakdown in Reno. But more importantly, it's about the moment that I personally realized that every single day
as a leader, you're not just making decisions for yourself. You are creating dinner table conversations.
So let me take you back in time. I'm six years old, standing in my favorite checkered princess dress at my stepdad, Vince's funeral. Now, Vince was not a CEO. He wasn't some corporate executive, high level leader, but he was a sprint car driver. And he died way too young at the age of 34 doing what he loves, racing. But here's what I'll never forget.
As I was peeking out the window of the funeral home and saw the hundreds of people lined up down the sidewalk, they were not there to honor his trophies. They weren't there to honor his achievements, but they were there out of respect and to share stories about how he made them feel, how he showed up, how he treated people when nobody else was watching.
That six-year-old didn't fully understand what she was witnessing at the time, but she was getting a master class in what real legacy building looks like.
Fast forward 20 something years later and I found myself no longer in a checkered dress, but in a red shirt and denim at work in a parking lot of my store in Reno.
I was Target's youngest district senior director at the age of 28. And I was managing over 500 million in operations, thousands of team members and 10 Target stores. Okay. On paper, I was killing it. But my boss just asked me to cover up something unethical. And in that moment, staring at the casino lights, I remembered that six-year-old girl at the funeral. Me. I remembered all those people lined up.
not for what Vince had achieved, but for who he was. And I realized, this is it. When you do become a leader at any level, you also become dinner table conversation. Think about it right now, tonight, even as you're listening to this, someone who reports...
to you or is a peer of yours, maybe even your boss, they're gonna go home and likely talk about you. Maybe it's your direct report telling their spouse about a meeting that you had the exact same day, but maybe it's a colleague sharing with their kids what happened in a team meeting. Maybe it's somebody that you barely interacted with, but they noticed how you handled a difficult situation. The question isn't.
whether people are talking about you. They are. The question is, what story are they telling?
You know, I spent years thinking leadership was about hitting the metrics, climbing the ladder, getting the corner office with the view, and I became really good at managing tasks and really bad at leading humans. I was so focused on the quarterly reports that I forgot about the daily reports,
The reports that people were giving me about their kitchen tables, that's the most important one to me as a leader. And I remembered that because I had to relearn it in the hard way. Your leadership legacy is not built in boardrooms, it's built in moments. The moments when someone makes a mistake and you choose curiosity over criticism in that moment. The moment when budgets are tight.
and you choose transparency over allowing people to spin. The moment when no one is watching and you choose integrity over convenience, even if it's being pushed on you from your boss.
So let me ask you something. If your team members went home tonight and they talked about you at dinner with their family, their loved ones, what story would they tell? Would they talk about a leader who saw them as a human that day and not just as another resource, as a means to achieve a work performance goal? Would they share about someone who creates psychological safety or someone who creates and amplifies anxiety?
Would they tell stories about a leader who admits when they don't know something or someone who asks for their input and actually listens to the answers? Or do they talk about someone who's always right, always busy, always unreachable? Something to think about. Here's the thing about dinner table conversations. They are where the real truth.
lives. It's where people drop the professional masks and they talk about what really is happening to them and in their world. It's where your team members process their day, their frustrations, and their victories. And whether or not you realize it, you're often part of that conversation from an influence perspective alone. The beautiful thing? You get to choose what story they tell.
So I wanna share three questions that completely support how you can show up as a leader. I call them dinner table check-ins. And I ask myself these questions every single day. First, what energy did I bring into the room today? Because here's the truth, people don't just follow our instructions, they also follow our energy. And if you're stressed out, they feel it. If you're authentic, they sense it. If you're present, they experience it.
Second question, did I listen to understand or to respond? This one's tough because most of us are already formulating our answer while the other person is still talking. But real leadership happens when you listen with your whole attention, not just your ears. Third question, what did my actions teach about my values?
because people don't remember what you say nearly as much as they remember what you do. Especially what you do when you think no one is watching. Your team always is.
You know that night in the Reno parking lot, I made a choice. I knew what I was going to be up against and it led me to walking away from a six figure salary rather than compromise my values, take the severance package, sign the NDA and go on my quiet way. It was absolutely terrifying and I had no clue what I was going to do next, but I knew that if someone was going to talk about me at their dinner table.
I wanted it to be a story about integrity and not just achievement. That decision led me into building what I have today through Legacy Fulfilled. And it allows me to show up as a servant leader to support you as a listener, you as a leader in the audience, you as an entrepreneur who just made that jump yourself and you don't know where to start. So whether you're a high level corporate executive,
or you're an entrepreneur trying to figure out where to go next, helping other leaders create cultures that people actually want to be a part of is my jam. And here's what I've discovered. Magnetic cultures aren't built on policies or perks. They are built on leaders who understand that every interaction is creating a story that someone will tell. So here's your challenge for the week.
I really want you to do something that might feel a little uncomfortable. Ask somebody you trust, maybe a direct report, maybe a peer, what's it like to be on the other side of me? Don't defend their answer. Don't explain it. Just listen. Because the gap between how we think we're showing up and how we're actually being experienced, that gap is where our real growth lies. And remember,
Every day, you have the ability to create dinner table conversation. You are regardless. So the real question is, are you creating stories that people want to tell or stories that they feel they have to tell?
That's a wrap for this episode of the Legacy Lounge. I hope it resonated with you. I would love to hear from you. I would love to hear about it. And what comes to mind as you listen to this? Send me a message on LinkedIn. Let me know what dinner table story you're committed to creating. And hey, if you know another leader who needs to hear this message too, share the episode with them.
Because the world needs more leaders. Look around. We need leaders who understand that when you step into a leadership role, you're not just taking on that role. You're also becoming a part of people's stories. Until next time, Keep on leading with purpose and remember you are always creating dinner table conversations.
