Healing the father wound through Christ is more than just a spiritual concept—it's a pathway to reclaim your true identity and break free from generational pain.

If you’ve ever felt the ache of an absent or unloving father, this episode offers a powerful revelation: your worth and who you are can be reshaped by understanding God's unwavering, nurturing love. Discover how confronting deep-seated abandonment through scripture can dismantle the lies of unworthiness and help you embrace your divine identity.

In this heartfelt conversation, J. Rosemarie Francis shares her personal journey of healing—from uncovering painful truths about her biological father to realizing that God's love is the ultimate source of security, acceptance, and purpose. You’ll hear how a few biblical insights transformed her perspective, freeing her from the chains of pain and guiding her to lead with confidence and compassion.

This episode is a vital reminder that no matter what you’ve endured, there’s a resilient, loving presence waiting for you to accept it.You'll discover: practical steps to heal the father wound—like forgiving yourself and your earthly father, immersing yourself in scripture, and documenting your growth.

Plus, J. Rosemarie breaks down key biblical stories, like Genesis 3 and Cain’s story, to illustrate God's tender, fatherly heart even when we stray. She explains how embracing God's love can be the anchor for your identity, your relationships, and your legacy, empowering you to break cycles of hurt and become a cycle breaker for the next generation.

If you’re a single mom feeling the weight of past abandonment and longing for true acceptance, this episode offers clarity, hope, and actionable tools to turn pain into power. It’s about rewriting your story in Christ’s love—so you can walk forward with confidence, purpose, and a renewed sense of self. Your healing journey starts here.

This episode captures the universal pain of father wounds while offering a clear, hopeful pathway toward healing in Christ. It combines heartfelt storytelling with practical steps, making it both relatable and actionable—perfect for single moms ready to reclaim their identity and nurture resilient, faith-filled lives.

Host: J. Rosemarie Francis is a passionate speaker, author, and podcast host dedicated to helping single moms heal, grow, and thrive through faith. Her personal story and biblical insights make her a trusted guide for breaking free from the pain of the father wound.

Explore books by J. Rosemarie Francis: https://amzn.to/481EhRe

Join the discussion: Courage to Believe Devotional Group | SoloMoms! Talk Podcast Chat

If you find this podcast helpful, please share it with another solo mom or write us a review on Apple or Spotify. Thanks.

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How are Solomon's like us carrying wounds from the past, like the whole left by the absence of a father, supposed to feel whole, worthy and confident in who we are? How do we break free from the lies of abandonment and step into the identity God has already given us? That is the question and this episode will give you the answer. I'm Jeruze Marie Francis and this is Solomon's talk. Today we're talking about

healing the father wound through Christ to unlock your true identity because you're not what you've been through. No, you're who God says you are.

So when this

I am stuck these days on the father because I recently discovered who my father is. And for the longest while, I had no idea who he was. My questions didn't get answered. And it tripped me up a bit lately because it came to my attention who that person was and why I didn't know about him.

I want to start by reading a verse of scripture to you. If you're missing your father, have bad memories of him, or you don't see God as your father, because this is the whole point of why I want to talk about this, is adapting God, who is your father, as your father. Because that's what I had to do to come to terms with the fact that I had this big hole.

in my life. A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows is God in his holy habitation. Psalm 68 verse 5 and that's taken from the WEB version. So today we're going to trade our fractured legacy that hole in the heart of the

absent earthly father for our unwavering identity that is found in Christ's redemption. So by confronting these deep-seated abandonment through scripture, we can dismantle the lies of unworthiness that hinder our parenting because that's what this is about. It's about not

passing down our hurt to our children, not passing down that legacy of brokenness and abandonment to our children. And so for me, what happened to me was a lot of different feelings and emotions accosted me. At first, I didn't really care.

I was raised by my grandfather till I was before, just before I was 14. And so he represented the parental, the strong father figure in my life, the person who showed love and concern for me. But beyond that, there was no one, there was no father. And I told myself, I didn't care. Who cares? He didn't, he wasn't there when I was young and he wasn't there when I was older. So who cares?

I discovered after my third divorce that not having a father in my life really affected how I made decisions. Wasn't the only thing. Not having a father in my life played a big role in how I approach relationship with men and my marriages and how I treated my marriages.

That was one thing. The second thing that happened to me was I was sitting in a church in London and this lady was introduced. She was a new member and her last name was Francis. And I was like, at first I got excited because I'm thinking to myself, maybe we are related because she's Jamaican, I'm Jamaican. Well, Jamaica is a small country. Maybe we're related. And it was as if someone slapped me in the back of the head and said, what do you mean?

How can you be related? You don't even know who your father is. And at that moment, something broke within my heart because I realized I was missing an identity. I was missing my true identity, really, because who was I? Where did Francis come from? I know where it comes from. I just wondered who my real father was.

And so it brought me to where wrote about this on Medium. I talk about it on my podcast, my private podcast, Abandoned Daughters of Caribbean Moms. I'll put a link below so you could read that, you could listen to that. This private podcast is a journal of my story about my missing father. And so that was the other thing that happened that really pushed

Forward and center the fact that I had this hole in This gap in who I was as a person in my identity now before all this happened I had ready I already had Slid God into that gap Right that because I went I talked about this in other part of this podcast and in the devotional

about how I took this nine-week discovery group at my church called the Discovery Group Based on Be Transformed. It's a nine-week program and I took it with a bunch of other women who had similar stories to mine. was that Discovery Group is what inspired Sola Mom's Talk podcast, this podcast. But during that time, I discovered

I discovered that God was indeed my father and he could be more than just the God of heaven. And so I read the first five books of the Bible, termed the Torah in Hebrew, and I discovered that God really was a father to the fatherless. And some of the things I discovered was that

For the longest while, I thought God was a punisher, a judge, and he was this darn father who didn't want us stepping out of line, and we had to obey, we had to obey, we had to obey, otherwise he didn't care about us. That is such a That is such a big lie taught to control and manipulate us. And so when I discovered the true nature of God, I realized that

I needed to open myself up to this entity, this being that truly loved and cared for me. And two incidents in the Bible cemented that thought for me. One was Genesis 3.21, where God discovered that Adam and Eve had eaten off the tree of life that they were forbidden to eat from.

Adam and Eve discovered they were naked. And God, rather than throw them out naked, He sewed clothes together. He sewed clothes and put on these disobedient children. That was the first thing for me. The second thing was when Cain killed his brother Abel, God pronounced judgment on him. He had to pay for his crime, but he also

Cain complained that everybody who found him was going to kill him because it was like he had a bounty on his head. And God said, nobody touch Cain because God was still father and he was still acting like a father even though Cain had disobeyed, Adam and Eve had disobeyed, and the punishment didn't change. But God's love for them didn't change either.

So that helped me to realize that, hey, I am one of God's children too. And that's enough for me, especially as an adult who is independent taking care of herself. So I want us to understand this and realize that we don't have to carry the pain of abandonment from a father who didn't protect us.

from a father who wasn't there for us, or from a father who was totally absent, we can find comfort, solace, identity in this God.

So if the absence of your earthly father has left you feeling unworthy or abandoned, you're likely carrying a fractured identity that affects how you make life decision and navigate your relationships, including the relationship with your children. How can you begin to exchange your identity of pain with the identity of being God's child?

One of the ways is to dismantle the history of unprocessed trauma. So that's one of the first things to do to help you move through if you're stuck in this place of pain and feelings of abandonment. So transforming the pain of not being enough will take work.

And a lot of times it takes deep faith. It's for you to believe that it can happen and for you to understand how it's possible for it to happen because you want to be the faith-filled leadership in your home and in your family. You are now, you are as a solo mom, the leader in your family and you're the life you live.

will transfer to your children, whether you like it or not. Even when we hide our pain from our children, they feel it, they experience it, they see it. And especially if it comes out of you in anger or resentment or actions that doesn't really become you as a parent. So one of the ways of

cultivating a resilient future, a future that finds you strengthened in Christ and strengthened in this new identity is to establish a roadmap for maintaining emotional and spiritual strength, especially when all triggers of abandonment resurface in your life. Commit to a life of radical presence, and that's gonna take work.

where your identity in Christ serves as a foundation for how you love others and how you love yourself. You will need also to embrace the role of the psycho-breaker who turns fractured legacy into a testament of God's restorative power for the next generation. So I have three practical tips that

They may sound simple, but they actually do work. A lot of times we approach problems and make it complicated. We are dealing with mountains, of course, but when we start to examine mountains as little mole hills stacked together, then we can help ourselves navigate whatever challenge we're having.

So the first thing I would ask you to do is to forgive yourself, forgive your father, forgive yourself, forgive your mother if necessary, and uphold yourself in this forgiving spirit. I cover forgiveness in day 11 of Courage to Believe, 21-day Christian devotional for single moms. And that starts on page 90 if you have the book.

That's the first thing you would need to do is to forgive yourself, forgive your father, forgive anyone in your life, really. You don't want any blockage to your recovery, to your renewed relationship with Christ. The second thing I would recommend is to start reading small parts of scripture daily. Start with Genesis 1. Ask God to help you understand. Ask him to speak to your heart.

while you read, because a lot of times I've heard throughout the years that people just say that the Bible is hard to read and understand and it contradicts itself. It doesn't. I used to believe that too. But ask God by spirit to guide you, to teach you what you need to know out of the words you're reading. And the third thing I would ask and recommend is that you document your journey.

your thoughts, your feelings, your goals, your outcomes. What are you learning from reading? What are you learning about God? What are you learning about yourself and others? What are you learning about scripture? And what are you learning about how you process not having a father in your life or now having God, now embracing God as your father in your life?

All right. And I'd also like to recommend a couple of scriptures. I've done that in the devotional because I like to, I like people to study the Bible, study the source because that's where you'll find life. Second Corinthians 6 verse 18, Psalm 103 verse 13, Proverbs 3, 11 to 12, 1 John 3 verse 1, Luke 12,

verse 32 and Matthew 10, 29 to 31. And of course, we started out with the focus scripture reference, which is Psalm 68, verse five. Thank you, mama, for listening to me. This is a topic that's very dear to my heart, as you can tell. Please grab a copy of the devotional. If this message resonates with you.

It's really a way, a journey, a framework for you to work through those emotions that seem to tackle you on your daily journey. know, they just tackle you and sometimes grab you and wrestle you to the ground. And you wonder sometimes, where do these emotions come from? Why do I act this way? Why am I triggered? This devotion will help you to sort through those messy emotions. And it will also explain to you why

None of what you do or experience is a surprise to God. He already knows what you're going through and he understands because he is touched with the feelings of our infirmities. That's why he became man in the form of Jesus Christ so that he could experience rejection, abandonment, betrayal. He could experience all these things that we ourselves experience, grief.

pain, shame. So thank you for listening. I really appreciate you. I almost didn't do an episode today, but I'm actually glad I did. I'm actually in the middle of writing two books. I set out to write just one, but this is one of the books I'm writing. It's entitled, Mommy, Who's My Father? And it's the story of my own personal story of

trying to find out who my father was. And the second one is the second in the series in the Daughters of Grace series. And this one is called Five Husbands Rescuing Merva Jacobson. And I just threw that title in there. I'm still working on the title actually, but it gives me context when I'm writing. So check out my books on Amazon. Courage to Believe 21 Day Christian Devotion of Single Moms.

healing him the story of Menene Miller. And that's a retelling, a modern retelling of the story of the woman with the issue of blood. And the second one I'm writing is called Five Husbands. And that one is cracking up to be a difficult one to write because like all my writing,

My personal experience is woven into it. And it's also available for a pre-order on Amazon. That's set to be published in May, I believe May 5th. But it's available for pre-order right now. Thank you, mama. I appreciate you. Have a great week.