Artwork for podcast The Abundance Journey
Connected: The Three Degrees of Influence Rule
Episode 726th May 2022 • The Abundance Journey • Elaine Starling
00:00:00 00:11:28

Share Episode


It’s AMAZING just how influential you are!  Elaine shares excerpts from one of her favorite books: Connected: The Surprising Power of Our Social Networks and How They Shape Our Lives.

It’s scientifically proven that you influence millions of people just by being alive. We even know just how much you influence them through everything you think, feel, say, and do.

The Three Degrees of Influence Rule is why adopting an Abundance Mindset matters.  REALLY MATTERS.

About the Host, Elaine Starling:

An international TEDx speaker, bestselling author, coach and mentor, Elaine Starling is recognized for her video show and podcast, The Abundance Journey. After a comprehensive conversation with our higher power during a stroke, Elaine created The Abundance Journey 6 week course to share what she learned. As the Abundance Ambassador, Elaine mentors spiritual, growth-oriented women to align with Divine guidance to achieve their dreams. Elaine’s clients experience more clarity, confidence, and commit to action that achieves their goals. 

Elaine Starling Social Media Links:




TEDx Talk, “Abundance Is a Choice”


Thanks for listening!

Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social media buttons on this page.

Do you have some feedback or questions about this episode? Leave a comment in the section below!

Subscribe to the podcast

If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher. You can also subscribe in your favorite podcast app.

Leave us an Apple Podcasts review

Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple Podcasts, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you have a minute, please leave an honest review on Apple Podcasts.


Elaine Starling:

The Abundance Journey explores all the ways abundance shows up to help you expand the abundance you embody Express and experience as your journey unfolds.

Elaine Starling:

Hey, this is Elaine Starling, the abundance ambassador. And I'm super excited to chat with you today on the abundance journey because one of the things you might not know about me, I am a book junkie, I read books like I eat popcorn fast and with enthusiasm. I typically read three or four books a week. And I love to take notes in my Kindle, the you know, the Kindle app, because then I can email them to myself. And I can kind of organize it. So it all makes sense to me. And it fits well. There are a few books that I actually get hard copies. And one of my favorite books is called connected the surprising power of our social networks and how they shape our lives by Nicholas Christakis and James Fowler. Amazing book, amazing book. And part of the reason why I wanted to chat with you about this today is because I think a lot of us don't realize just how incredibly powerful we truly are you think, mistakenly, you think, well, it's just me, right? I'm just, you know, nothing that special. Okay, you know, I like to think I'm good person, but, you know, what am I doing, it's not like I've solved the world hunger, I'm not, you know, fixing all the ills of the world, you have something incredibly powerful that you offer the world. And the authors of the book connected, actually documented, just how powerful you are. So I'm going to share a couple of the highlights from the book that they came up with, because I think that it will surprise and amaze you just how valuable you truly are, and the difference that you make in the world. So in the book, on page 28, just in case you want to follow along, the author's introduced something called the three degrees of influence rule, because they did all this analysis, and they interviewed lots of different people. And it turns out that everything you think, feel do or say, influences, not just your friends, if you're at the center of a bullseye, and that's you, and then the one ring out, that's your friends. It also influences your friends, friends, friends, three levels away from you. That's what it's called the three degrees of influence rule, right? Okay, so you're at the center of the bullseye, and there's three different rings, your friends, friends, friends, you have that much influence. I was like, Okay, that sounds really interesting. How many people is that really? On average? Because I don't think I know that many people. So I googled it. Good old Dr. Google, she always has the answer. And it was really interesting, because there was a study that was cited in the New York Times. That said, the average American knows about 600 people that seem kind of high to me, I spoke to a couple of my friends, and they're like, oh, no, that's way too low. So I thought, Okay, what do I know? I didn't do the research these other people did. So let's pretend that the average person knows about 600 people. Well, at the center of the bullseye, that's You see, your first ring is 600 people. Now, every single one of those 600 people knows 600 people, and that is 360,000 people, every single one of those 360,000 people, no 600 people, and that's 216 million people. That means you have influence over 216,360,600 people. And that's before you get on social media, baby. Yeah, you are that powerful. You are that influential. And remember, on page 30, the author, state, everything we think, feel do and say can spread far beyond the people we know.

Elaine Starling:

Just thinking about stuff at home. You're not talking to anybody, you're just thinking about it. It makes a difference. What you're thinking about makes a difference was really interesting. I was thumbing through the book again before I started this video because I wanted to really identify some strong highlights and they were saying, not only is your own anxiety, really bad for your health, other people's anxiety is really bad for your health, which is one of the reasons why I never watched the news. There's nothing new about it. It's always the same old doom and gloom so Why watch it. Now another thing that I thought was really interesting, I was like, Okay, that's great. It loves them influencing all these millions of people, how much am I influencing them, because I'm sure it's not a one to one, you know everything I think they think everything I feel they feel no it but there is a pretty significant ripple effect. So on page 51, in the book, they say if you are happy, then the people in the first ring closest to you, your friends, they're 15% more likely to be happy when you're happy. Okay, 15% the people in the second ring away from you. So your friends, friends are 10% more likely to be happy, just because you're happy. And the people in the outermost ring, the third ring, your friends, friends, friends are 6% more likely to be happy, because you're happy. You taking care of yourself and managing your own emotions, and your thoughts and your feelings. It's really, really important. Now another thing that the author shared page 56, long term happiness depends 50% on a person's genetic set point, you have certain chemicals that run through your body based on your ancestry that can influence how happy you tend to be 10% is based on your circumstances. So that's about where you live, how wealthy you are, how healthy you are, those are your circumstances. 40% of lasting happiness is based on what you choose to think. And do. You choose you choose. I love the word choose, it's a wonderful word, it means you have a choice, it's in your control is something that you can influence. And there's nothing more important for you to influence than yourself and how you feel about yourself, and how excited you are to be in this moment. Connecting your energy with mine, it's really important to think about who you're hanging out with. Because the people you surround yourself with, it's true, you really are more like the five people you spend the most time with. It's it's really interesting to see what happens because hanging out with people in a network in a social network where they bring you up and they open possibilities for you. They help you see things in a new way. They enlighten and inspire you, that makes all the difference. It makes all the difference. And that's what I'm trying to do for you. I'm trying to bring these innovative people to you and share some of the highlights from some of my favorite books and other people that I've learned from so that you can experience abundance anytime you want to. It's as simple as connecting with your heart. So let's take a minute to activate abundance because hey, I'm all about the activation. So first, celebrate get into that, yeah, baby energy. Isn't this cool? Who knew you were incredibly powerful, you make such a massive difference on this planet, just by everything you think, feel, say and do and how wonderful that you have a choice. It's completely within your control. That's pretty awesome. That makes a massive difference in your level of lasting happiness. How can it get even better than this? So I love to celebrate that we are also connected, our energy is connected. And I'm really passionate about experiencing abundance in every moment. And just feeling that deep sense of gratitude and appreciation for everything that shows up. And I'm passing that on to you. Remember, you're watching this, you're our energy is connected. You're in my first ring.

Elaine Starling:

So when I'm going there and I've got that yeah, baby energy going and trust me I do most of the time. That means you're 50% more likely to have Yeah, baby energy. Also, how cool is that? So I'm giving that to you. I am watching that your way. I'm gently releasing that in your direction. It's up to you to choose to receive it. I invite you to receive it, but it's up to you to choose. So I want to acknowledge you for showing up and being willing to play with me. One of the things that was very clear to me and it's often reminded me the Divine is very playful. I experienced the divine as effervescent joy just over that top outrageous, crazy, wild, happy, excited. Happy Dance beyond belief, Joy. I mean, they really have to tune it down before I can tap into it because they're so over the top. So I just want you to acknowledge that you being here. And playing with me and being willing to play with me makes a massive difference. writes, I so appreciate you for being here. And I appreciate your reviews and your comments. I'm going to start sharing those with you and some of the upcoming episodes because I really appreciate all your support and your encouragement and your experiences. I want to see how abundance is coming true for you. So I'm activating abundance by really paying attention to my choices. I want to make sure my choices are in alignment with who I want to be like we were talking about with Suzy vine. How I want to show up is always with that, yeah, baby energy. And I want to make that available to you too. So I'm going to choose that in every moment and choose to feel that deep sense of gratitude that we're connected. We are connected, baby, we're connected. And how can it get even better than this? All right, I can't wait to see you in the next episode. Thanks so much.


More Episodes
7. Connected: The Three Degrees of Influence Rule
6. Susi Vine and Happified
5. Lisa Barnett & The Akashic Records
4. It’s Not About You
3. The Purpose of Self-Doubt
2. The 4 Steps to Activate Abundance
1. How The Abundance Journey™ Was Born
Introducing The Abundance Journey Video Show and Podcast