Samantha: Hello and welcome back to another episode. We have got Faye Johan here, and Faye's from London. She is an ADHD unmasking and personal brand mentor. It's only been recently that I've started following Faye online, and I thought, she's got to come on the podcast, because we're very much about mothering in your own damn way. Finding your own way to mother, finding your own groove, and not doing it the way we're expected to, which then makes us exhausted and overwhelmed. Especially from the perspective of being neurodivergent, when you're living in a world made by neurotypical people, that's another layer of exhaustion. So thank you so much.
Faye: Hello, thank you for having me.
Samantha: So let's start right at the beginning and then get to where you are now. Talk to me about pre-motherhood Faye. Let's start in your 20s. What kind of person were you?
Faye: Oh my gosh, okay. Pre-motherhood Faye was very fun-loving, the life and soul of the party. I basically lived for the weekend. I didn't go to uni. I went straight into full-time work when I was 17, working with my best friend in an office as legal secretaries. We were just loving life, going out on a Friday night with all the solicitors. It was the time of our lives.
I wouldn't say I was an ambitious person. I didn't have any big career goals. All I wanted to do was be a mum and just get by with jobs that were okay. I had quite a good job, actually. As legal secretaries we got paid quite a lot for 17-year-olds, so we had a great time. Then I moved jobs and met my husband in our early 20s. I worked with him for a little while as his admin person.
Then I was diagnosed with lupus. I was very, very poorly. I was on chemo drugs, my hair fell out, I couldn't work, and I had to go on disability benefits. This was in my late 20s, and I was told I'd never be able to be a mum. All I'd ever wanted was to be a mum, so that was devastating.
I remember saying to my husband, "You may as well not be with me, because I can't have children and I'm ill. We're young. Just go and meet somebody who's not unwell like I am." I was in and out of hospital. It was quite bad. He used to have to wash my hair for me, because there were days when I couldn't even get out of bed, or I'd have to crawl to the toilet because I was in so much pain with my joints. Lupus affects your joints and your organs. It's an autoimmune disease, and it's chronic. It can go away for a little while and then come back. In my case I was very, very ill for about eight years.
Then I had a spell where I was really well for about six months, and I said to him, "Should we just try for a baby? You never know. I can't not try." I got pregnant, everything was fine, and I became a mummy to my eldest.
I was very unwell after she was born, because the hormones and everything affected it. I remember one day I was crying, looking at her in the cot, and I couldn't even pick her up because I was in so much agony. My mum was an amazing support around that time, and so was my husband. Then I got better again, and then I got pregnant again, and lupus has been in remission since, so about six or seven years now. So that was me: fun, happy, healthy. And then all of that happened.
Samantha: If you can remember, how did you feel when you became a mum, in terms of who you thought you were? Did you feel a big change in your identity? It sounds like your illness took up quite a large part of that.
Faye: It was really hard, because for me the difficulty was the loneliness. My best friend got pregnant at the same time, so our girls are a few weeks apart. We do everything together. But she went back to work, and all the friends I had went back to work, and I still wasn't able to, because I was so up and down with lupus. So I spent a lot of time alone with my baby. It doesn't feel lonely now, but when they're babies and they can't talk to you, it was really lonely.
I remember sitting on the kitchen floor, I'm looking at the kitchen now, crying my eyes out, thinking, I'm just so lonely. I didn't know who I was. Most people have that identity thing when they become a mum, but I had the illness as well. I hadn't really lived for years, because I'd been at home on my own all the time, and now I had this baby to look after. I found it really difficult. It's hard.
Samantha: That's such a huge part of it, isn't it? You're never alone because you're with your baby, but you feel lonely because of everything going through your head and all the things around you. And like you said, your friends and network went back to work. Did you feel like you could talk to anyone about that? Were you honest about how you felt?
Faye: Well, I had my mum, but to be honest, and I've noticed this recently as well, when I'm going through a really hard time I massively isolate myself. When I was really poorly with lupus, people would want to come and see me and I'd say no. I didn't want people to see me that way. I felt like a burden, which is really sad now, because I'm totally not like that anymore. But back then I massively isolated myself because I didn't want to be a burden. So I didn't really open up to any of my friends. Probably only my husband and my mum knew how I really felt.
I remember going to one of those mum and baby groups, and this woman came and spoke to me. We were chatting away and I thought, oh my God, this feels so nice. Our children were about three at the time, playing and getting on, and I thought, this is just so lovely. Then she said, "Let's swap numbers and we could meet up for a coffee." I said, "Oh my God, yeah, I'd love that."
I got home, she messaged me, and she just wanted to sell me her Tropic skincare. That was when I realised how lonely I was, because I got so upset. I thought, fucking hell, I am that lonely. I felt so excited about this one person talking to me, and she was just trying to sell me shit. I'll always remember that moment, because I just remember thinking, fuck, that's how lonely I am.
Samantha: That's awful. I can totally resonate with that. I remember those baby groups. I'd go in and scan the room, looking for signals on people's faces. I show a lot of emotion in my face. If I'm really unhappy, I can't hide it well. Well, that's a lie, I can, but that's another story. I felt like I was looking for that signal. You have a conversation with someone and say something, and you're almost waiting for that "right, they're not my people" moment.
I think those groups can exacerbate the loneliness, can't they? Because you still see people who've got a little group of friends that they've come with, and you're on your own.
Faye: Yeah, everyone around here does that NCT thing. They all meet each other and then come to the groups together, and if you're not part of that, you're just there on your own. I found that weird. If I was with a group of mums and I saw a mum on her own, I'd always go and talk to her. Always. I'd never let somebody just be there alone. But no one ever approached me. I don't have a resting bitch face or anything. I look quite friendly. No one spoke to me. It was horrible.
Samantha: Did you feel like you had to pretend you had it all together, on the surface?
Faye: Oh my God, so much. With my second I did not do this, but with my first, if someone was coming over I'd clean the house and make it look perfect. Real perfectionism. I think I might have had postnatal anxiety. It wasn't diagnosed, but looking back, I'm like, yeah. I'd pack the bag three times to make sure everything was in it, and all the spares. There'd be 12 nappies for one trip to Sainsbury's. I wouldn't let anyone see the house messy. I wanted to come across as this perfect mummy who had all her shit together, which we all know hardly any of us do.
That would be an alarm bell for me now. If I went round to a new mum's house and it was perfect, I'd be like, "Are you all right, babe?" People think that if it's messy, it shows you're not coping, but it doesn't. Sometimes it can be the opposite.
Samantha: Somebody said to me a couple of years ago that she always felt she had to look put together, clothes-wise and makeup-wise, because if she didn't, people would ask, "Is everything okay?" So that was the perfectionist coming in: I've got to look like I've got it all together.
Faye: You've just reminded me of something. I went to a doctor's appointment for my first baby, and I always like to dress well anyway, but I had a necklace on, matching earrings, all my makeup, my hair done, again to look like I had my shit together. And the doctor looked at me and said, "Wow, you've done so well to even wear a matching necklace." I was praised for it. But looking back, that should have been a sign. Are you sure you're okay? I know you look all right, but you're probably not.
Samantha: I think we do have to live up to the expectation. I'm not going to say who it is, because they could be identified, but I was going to a baby class when Luna was very, very small. It was in London, but we live in Essex, so it was a drive away. She was in her second or third week, and I remember the teacher praising somebody: "Look, so-and-so's baby is five days old and she's come to the class. Hasn't she done well?" And I remember thinking, my God, I could never have come here when Luna was five days old. I'm failing. I'm clearly shit.
It was lots of subtle things, and not-so-subtle things, all the time, constantly saying this is what a good mum looks like, because she's got all her shit together. It's pervasive, isn't it?
Faye: It's interesting, because when I had my second, she was born a day before lockdown, so obviously we didn't go anywhere or do anything. I remember thinking, my God, I put myself under so much pressure to take my eldest to all these places. Which is nice sometimes, but every day I'd have to do an activity outside the house with her. I look back and think, you don't need to do that. Just play with your baby and smile at them and interact with them. They don't need all of this stuff. Yes, I know it can be good and helpful, but it made me realise how much pressure I put on myself to get dressed and out the door at a certain time and make sure she napped so we could go to this thing. Whereas with my second I was so much more laid back, but I think I was in a better place mentally as well.
Samantha: And I think these classes are really for the mums. The babies don't need all the lights and—
Faye: Swinging a ribbon around or whatever.
Samantha: I look back now and think, what the hell was I doing? And that's where we know there's such a lack of spaces for new mums, and not-so-new mums. We all need them in different contexts, don't we? And that's such a shame. As we know, the funding and everything has been cut, so there's such a lack of spaces.
Faye: And you've just made me realise, we go to these classes to swing a ribbon around for our babies, but what about us? We should be prioritising ourselves a bit as well, because when we're happy and we've socialised and we don't feel lonely, then everyone's happier, aren't they? Instead of swinging a ribbon at your baby, how about just going for coffee with a bunch of mums?
Samantha: You know what, I had this image. Oh God, it gives me shivers just thinking about it. I wanted to go to a place where there'd be older women who got it. Not the judgy "the baby's not got a sock on" type, but women who say, "Let me get you a biscuit and a cup of tea. I don't drink tea or coffee, but something. Let me hold the baby, maybe, if you want me to, or if not, that's fine." I just wanted that. Do you know what I mean? Somewhere I could go any day. How gorgeous.
Faye: That makes me feel emotional. I would have absolutely fucking loved to have gone to something like that. And no set times, you can just rock up between 10 and 3 or something.
Samantha: Yeah, because your partner might be at work, so any time between those hours, you can come. It makes me shiver when I think about it.
Faye: That's what's missing.
Samantha: It sounds so simple, doesn't it? But that would have been everything to me.
Faye: I know, oh my God.
Samantha: I think that's the thing. We focus so much on our babies being healthy, and of course we want that, but as mums we will figure out what our baby needs. It's us who need looking after. From the moment you get pregnant you're treated like a vessel, aren't you? With you and your lupus, were you under a consultant? How was that experience?
Faye: I was advised to have scans every three weeks during the whole pregnancy to make sure everything was okay, because when you've got lupus there are lots of things that can happen. One of the things they were worried about was blood clots around the placenta, so the baby wouldn't get oxygen and would die. Everything was fine the whole time. Interestingly, the consultant I was under is quite a famous consultant, and he saved my husband's life when he was a baby. That was a little coincidence. He pioneered in utero surgery and all sorts of things, so he's amazing. I had full trust in them.
I'm quite assertive. Having lupus, it took me a couple of years to get diagnosed, because it was all "it's in your head, it's in your head," and it absolutely wasn't. So I learned to be assertive about my needs in medical situations. They offered me all sorts of things and told me to do all sorts of things, and I was quite assertive about saying no when I felt like it. In the end I think they knew I was such a pain in the ass that they agreed to most of what I wanted anyway.
One thing they absolutely didn't want me to have was a water birth, because I'd had a haemorrhage in my first birth. But I got my water birth, let's just say. I got what I wanted, but because I fought for it, which is sad, that you have to. We know women aren't listened to in medical situations, especially in pregnancy, because you're more vulnerable and so more likely to go along with things you don't actually want. Which is unfortunate, but that is the world we live in right now, isn't it?
Samantha: Yes it is, and I could go off on a tangent, but I'm going to stop myself because I want to move along with your story. So I'm going to jump forward and back a bit. How long ago were you diagnosed? Was it last year?
Faye: I think it was about 14… sorry, with ADHD or lupus?
Samantha: Sorry, ADHD.
Faye: I was only diagnosed a few months ago.
Samantha: Okay, so at the time you didn't know you had ADHD.
Faye: I mean, I've known since I was a teenager, really.
Samantha: Really? Okay.
Faye: But it wasn't something at the forefront of my mind during those times, no.
Samantha: I'm interested because postpartum is often a time when, if you're undiagnosed with ADHD, you first recognise it in yourself. Obviously it's there regardless, but the scaffolding comes away with sleep deprivation, hormones and all of that. Did you have any recollection of ADHD symptoms postpartum?
Faye: No. I think because I was so ill with the lupus, it just didn't register. With lupus you get extreme fatigue, so I spent a lot of my time sleeping, not really able to do much. I don't remember noticing it at the time. But I do remember that when I was first diagnosed with lupus, I really struggled with slowing down. I remember saying to my parents, "I don't know how to sit down." That was one of the hardest things about being diagnosed with a chronic illness, having to slow down. I've got more used to it now and I know how to manage my energy, but it was really difficult. But no, with both my babies I wouldn't say ADHD came out massively at that point.
Samantha: Okay. So then you had your second daughter, and you had a very different postpartum experience, going into lockdown. Talk me through that. What did life look like at that point?
Faye: So lupus went into remission a few months before. Oh my God, it's snowing. Sorry, I just noticed. That's crazy.
Samantha: It is cold today.
Faye: I wasn't expecting that. What was I saying? Oh yeah. Lupus went into remission a few months before I got pregnant with her, and during that pregnancy I felt amazing, the best I'd ever felt. I wonder if it's related to ADHD, like pregnancy helps it or something. I don't know. But I felt fantastic. I had energy, I was creative. That was when I trained to be a hypnobirthing teacher and started my business. I felt incredible, partly because I was symptom-free from lupus, after years of feeling terrible.
Then I had a really amazing, powerful birth experience with her that made me feel like I could do anything. I felt powerful. I felt like I was high for weeks. I probably was high on dopamine or something.
Samantha: Oxytocin, yeah.
Faye: I was elated. I thought, I could run a marathon, this is fucking amazing. And that was when I started my first business, with the hypnobirthing. I'd done hypnobirthing while I was pregnant and loved it, and then I was hyper-focused. I thought, I need to teach everyone this, every woman needs to know about this. I think her birth experience, because it was so powerful, gave me the confidence to go and do that. And because I was well, I thought, I need to do something with my life, because I haven't done anything other than be a mum for however many years it was at that point. That was when my entrepreneurial journey started.
Looking back, it's so obvious how ADHD I was. I was properly hyper-focused on hypnobirthing. I learned everything I possibly could. I probably had as much knowledge as a midwife, not experience, obviously. And then I learned everything I could about Instagram. I'd be up at four in the morning, feeding my baby, learning about Instagram. Proper hyper-focus. It was amazing. It was such a different experience.
Samantha: I love that. There are so many factors in the differences between the two. Because you were in lockdown, was your home set up differently? Was your husband working from home, so he was around more?
Faye: Yeah, that was amazing as well. He was working at home, so I had a newborn baby, my four-year-old and my husband all at home. He normally works really long hours, so he wouldn't usually be back until half seven or eight at night. Having him home was the best. For me that was such a positive experience, and for him as well, because he said he'd missed a lot of the baby time with our eldest. So he was really happy to be at home too. That was a positive thing about that situation.
Samantha: Another tangent I could go off on, but won't: men don't have much choice when it comes to being as involved as they want to be in their children's lives, because the workplace is even less accommodating to men. Dads want to be involved but logistically can't. The difference it makes for everyone is phenomenal.
Faye: It's so true, because he gets two weeks off work, but that's it. Two weeks isn't enough. What the fuck, that's not enough.
Samantha: It's nothing. It's insanity, isn't it? So let's talk a little about your entrepreneur side. It was probably always in there, wasn't it? I love how you're laughing, as if you don't feel associated with that word, because you are an entrepreneur.
Faye: I know, it's just funny. I never thought I'd ever say that about myself, especially because I was out of work for so long. I think this is another thing with people with ADHD: we find our way somehow. I was not made for office work, even though that's what I always did. I fucking hated it. I used to sit there messaging my mum, "My soul is dying. This is not for me." I know not everyone loves their job, but I hated it. When I still lived at home, I'd go to my mum and say, "I've just had to look at the same boring faces all day." It just wasn't for me.
Samantha: There's no dopamine in that office.
Faye: It was awful. Then, during a well spell with lupus, I got a job at Waitrose. I was a cheese specialist there and I absolutely loved it, because it was different every day and you're talking to people. I was so happy.
Then, working for myself: it started because I wasn't sure whether lupus was going to come back. It was all up and down, and I'd been diagnosed with three other autoimmune diseases as well, so it was hard to get a normal job because I might need a lot of time off. My husband was the one who said, "Why don't you make your own business?" I said, "I can't do that. I'm not confident." I had no confidence at that point. It had been stripped away from me. I didn't consider myself clever enough to run a business. I'm obviously not an idiot, but you don't actually need to be clever. You just need to have some ideas. That's it. I just didn't think it was something I could do.
Then I trained in hypnobirthing and thought, fuck it, why not? Let's do it. And here we are.
Samantha: We should use that as a soundbite. If you want to start your own business: fuck it, why not?
Faye: What's the worst that could happen? It doesn't work. Okay, I'll just go back to Waitrose.
Samantha: Cheese counter.
Faye: Yeah, loved it.
Samantha: So talk to me about what it's like being an entrepreneur and a mum. Anything that comes to mind, because everyone has different experiences.
Faye: I think it's very hard, and if you're a business owner you'll understand this. I don't switch off, and having ADHD as well, I literally do not switch off. The concept of switching off is so alien to me. I can't even begin to imagine it. So that's very difficult, but you have to be really boundaried about your time. I've learnt that the hard way.
For example, when I pick my kids up from school, I tell myself I'm not looking at my phone until five o'clock. Otherwise, especially with ADHD, you reply to a message, then oh, there's another message, then oh, let me scroll, I'm going to look at this, and before you know it you're watching someone's wedding who you don't even know and your kids are saying, "Mummy, Mummy." I don't always get it right, but I've had to be really strong with my boundaries.
I was a hypnobirthing teacher, and then I started coaching other hypnobirthing teachers, teaching them how to grow on Instagram after my page grew loads. I was very successful with that business, but I wasn't as present at home as I would have liked. I thought, do you know what? This isn't worth it. This is costing me too much of my actual life. So I reined it in a bit, took a big break and sorted some things out. I think it's quite normal to get kind of addicted to your business. I learned the hard way, and I'm not perfect, but I'm definitely a lot better now with my time and boundaries. You have to be, because otherwise it's not sustainable. You can't stay addicted forever. You've got to figure it out. I'm still trying to figure out switching off.
Samantha: It's a long ride.
Faye: I don't know. When you're running your own business that you're obsessed with, you're constantly thinking of ideas. I'm like, "Oh my God, I could do this, I could do that," and my husband's like, "Oh my God, give me a break." So that's quite hard.
Samantha: Yeah, it is. I've been there with the burnout, going down rabbit holes and working late. It is a hard one. So let's talk about your ADHD diagnosis and how that came about, and then we'll talk about how it impacts your life, your business and being a mum.
Faye: After the hypnobirthing business, I taught other hypnobirthing teachers how to use Instagram. I even made my own app. That was a really great time.
Samantha: What was the app? You've mentioned it before and I meant to ask.
Faye: The app was for hypnobirthing teachers. When they went on there, I'd put Instagram content ideas, video trainings, journal prompts, and meditations for their confidence. It was amazing. Probably hyper-focused vibes. And then I massively burnt out, because I was doing too much. Yes, I was successful, but it came at a cost and I wasn't prepared to let that go on anymore.
I took a massive break, and then I thought, I don't think I want to do this anymore. But what was I going to do? I can read astrology and tarot, so I set up an Instagram page to talk about that for a little while, to see what happened. Within a couple of weeks people were asking me for readings, and I went viral a few times and the page massively grew. I thought, this is another business, okay. So I mixed my Instagram knowledge with astrology and did readings, and that was really fun.
Then I burnt out again, probably my worst burnout ever. I'd heard the term burnout, but before I experienced it I thought it was a bit snowflakey. I thought, I'll just get on with it, especially as someone who'd gone through chronic illness. I didn't think it was real, if I'm really honest. Then when I experienced it, I thought, okay, this is very real. I couldn't even look at my laptop. I couldn't open it. My mind was just like, nope. I said I'd take a break, and the break turned into quite a few months, and then nearly a year. Then I thought, right, I'm going to have to get a normal job now, because I can't be an entrepreneur anymore.
I was looking at jobs and then I thought, you know what, I bet there are other people who feel like this. I set up an Instagram page to talk about feeling lost after burnout, which is the one I've got now, Lost Bitches Club. I started talking about feeling burnt out and lost, and perimenopause, and the page exploded. I thought, oh, lots of people feel like this. Then I started reading about perimenopause and ADHD. A lot of women get diagnosed during perimenopause, because perimenopause makes ADHD symptoms much worse. I thought, oh, so I'm not going insane. It's probably ADHD.
I started talking about it more online, and then you see more content, don't you? It starts feeding it to you. Everything I saw, I thought, yep, that's me. Yep, that's me. Yep, that's me. My whole life just made sense. I said to my husband, "I think I might have ADHD," and he said, "Yeah. Obviously."
I felt weird talking about it so much online without a diagnosis, and a few people had said things like, "Who do you think you are, talking about this when you're not even diagnosed?" So I thought, okay, I'll get my diagnosis. It was a weird process, because during the assessment they ask you loads of questions and you think, oh my God, this is so obvious. How did no one pick up on it? But my childhood was the 80s and 90s, and we didn't really know much back then, did we? Looking back, it was pretty obvious: the number of times I got kicked out of school and out of class, all the different jobs and so on. So that's how it came about. Perimenopause made my symptoms a little bit louder and more noticeable, and there we go.
Samantha: It's insane how we sometimes have to go through such low times to say, "Oh my God, that all makes sense, this is the reason." You hang on and get through, and you think, I've got a business and life is a bit busy, and then it's like, actually, so much of that was my coping strategies, and now they come away because of the hormonal drop. We hang on and hang on, and then it's like, this all makes sense.
I'm interested to know about guilt, because we have so much guilt in motherhood about not being the perfect mum. A good mum does this, that and the other. We were brought up thinking a good mum is all the things we thought a 1950s housewife was, plus having a career, looking good, all the bullshit. It makes me feel exhausted saying it.
Faye: I know.
Samantha: And this is what this podcast is all about, showing all different kinds of mothering. There are as many ways to mother as there are women. But we beat ourselves up because we're not this perfect example of what we believe motherhood is, whether that came from our upbringing, society or culture, or all of it together. What did you feel a good mum was growing up, and when you became a mum? And now, what does your version of a good mum look like?
Faye: That's a good question. I've not really thought about that before. What I would have said back then was, obviously the basics: making sure your children are looked after, they look nice, they're well fed, all of that.
Samantha: What about time for yourself? A lot of women find it really hard to make time for themselves because of what we're told.
Faye: I'm really good at that, because I think if I don't have time for myself, I'm more likely to be pissed off, and everyone's happier if I'm happy. If I'm happy, my whole household is happier. So to me it makes sense to focus on my happiness and time for myself so that I can be a happy mum. I'm not into this whole martyrdom motherhood shit. I don't fall for that.
I make sure I have time for myself. I went on a retreat a little while ago for three days. I'm lucky enough to be able to do that. I remember one of the mums at school saying, "I just don't know how you can do it for three days." I said, "Because I'm not just a mum, I'm still a person as well." Then another mum said, "Oh, bless your husband, dropping the kids off." I said, "What do you fucking mean? I drop them off every day. Where's my praise? Bless me. Excuse me." And then my husband went away to Morocco for a few days. He gets time as well, and I get time as well. I think it's important. I'm not here to be all martyr motherhood. No, no. I have time away. I have time for myself. I go and get my nails done. I make that time for myself, because otherwise I'm pissed off.
Samantha: I love that. And I think sometimes the biggest judgement is from other mums, isn't it? That policing of each other. That was one of the things that shocked me most, how judgy mums can be of each other.
Faye: I think the judgiest people are the people who aren't parents, though. One of my closest friends said something to me, because my youngest likes to get in our bed sometimes. He said, "Oh, I'll never do that when I'm a parent." I said, "Talk to me when you are a parent and we'll talk about it then." A couple of years later he said, "Do you remember when I said that thing?" And I said, "Yeah, my son's in our bed every night. I told you."
But you just can't judge another parent unless they're doing something terrible. Even with one parent, you can be a bit different with each child, because different children need different things. As a parent you always do your best for your children, and that's all that matters. You are enough, and I think the more people can realise that, the better.
Samantha: I love that. Straight talking from Faye, that's what we need.
Faye: You are enough, okay? No one's perfect, literally no one. We're all just trying our best, and that is okay.
Samantha: So I've got my last question for you, and I ask it of all my guests. What would you say to that pre-mum version of you, now that you know all this?
Faye: I'd say, buckle up, bitch.
Samantha: Mic drop.
Faye: No, do you know what? The thing I'd most like to say is you don't need to be perfect. You are enough. No one is perfect. Think about half term, the amount of things we plan for our kids: we're going to go here, we're going to go there. They just want your time. Most of the time they just want you, even if it's just sitting there with them watching the telly or watching them colour in. If you ask kids, they mostly just want your time. You don't need to be perfect. You are enough. That's what I'd say.
Samantha: I love that. Thank you. I could talk to you all day and there's so much I want to draw out of all of that, but I'm going to leave it there for now. When the episode comes out, I'm sure there will be loads of questions. Thank you so much, Faye.
Faye: Thank you, thank you, darling.
