Have you become so good at holding everything together that no one realizes you’re struggling?

Maybe you’re still showing up.

The kids are getting where they need to go. The calendar is managed. The work is getting done. Everyone knows they can rely on you.

But underneath all of that, you’re exhausted, irritable, overwhelmed, disconnected, resentful, or just not feeling like yourself anymore.

In this episode of The We Got You Mama Show, Carly sits down with Cherise Small, LCSW, licensed therapist, speaker, founder of The Healing Point Therapy & Wellness and Release2Heal, and author of You’ve Been Holding It Together.

Together, they unpack the pressure mothers feel to keep everything running while also appearing emotionally steady.

Cherise explains why functioning is not the same thing as being well, what hidden survival mode can look like, and why many women become disconnected from their own needs while spending years caring for everyone else.

They also explore one of the biggest identity shifts in motherhood: realizing that you do not necessarily need to get back to the woman you were before children. Instead, you can begin asking, Who am I becoming now?

This episode covers:

• Hidden signs of survival mode

• The pressure to constantly say “I’m fine”

• Emotional exhaustion and resentment

• Feeling disconnected from yourself

• Identity changes after becoming a mother

• Sustainable boundaries

• Why boundaries are not about shutting people out

• Learning to say “I’m not available”

• Stopping the need to overexplain

• Checking in with yourself before saying yes

• Being honest about what you can actually handle

• Asking people you trust for support

• Why you deserve the same care you give everyone else

• What emotional wellness can realistically look like for busy moms

Cherise also helps Carly work through a real-life example of something many women struggle with: wanting to help, knowing you technically can help, but realizing that saying yes may still come at a cost.

Sometimes the most important question is not:

Can I do this?

It is:

Do I actually need to take this on right now?

ABOUT CHERISE

Cherise Small, LCSW is a licensed therapist, speaker, and author of You’ve Been Holding It Together. She is the founder of The Healing Point Therapy & Wellness and Release2Heal, where she supports women who have spent years being the one others rely on and are now ready to tell the truth about what they actually need.

Her work focuses on emotional clarity, sustainable boundaries, identity transitions, and releasing the pressure to appear “fine” while navigating major life roles like motherhood, partnership, and leadership.

CONNECT WITH CHERISE:

Website: release2heal.com

Instagram: @therapywithcherise

Book information: release2heal.com/book-waitlist

Book: You’ve Been Holding It Together

If you recognize yourself in this episode, let it be your reminder that you are allowed to need support too.

You do not have to do motherhood alone.

We Got You, Mama. 💛

One, two, three, four.

Welcome, everyone, to the "We Got U, Mama" show. I'm so excited to have Sheree Small here. I know some people have been reaching out asking about her. She is on our site as a partner. She is a beautiful, supportive, loving woman. She's a licensed therapist and speaker and an author. We were just chatting before—before we pressed record—about our book's coming out, and, like, the birthing of a book is just, like, it's what it is. It's like the birth. You have to grow it, you have to struggle, and then you get to birth this book. And you guys, we're so close. So she is the author of the upcoming book, "You've Been Holding It Together." She's the founder of the Healing Point Therapy & Wellness and Release to Heal, where she supports women who have spent years being the one others rely on and now ready to tell the truth about what they actually need. Her work focuses on emotional clarity, sustainable boundaries—can I say that again? Sustainable, sustainable boundaries—something I've been exploring with lately.

Identity transitions, and releasing the pressure to appear fine. How many of us have used that? "I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine," and then we're, like, losing our you-know-what. So she focuses a lot on releasing that pressure to appear fine while navigating major life roles like motherhood, partnership, and leadership. All the stuff will be in the show notes, but you can find her on release2heal, the number 2 dot com, and you get on her book waitlist, and also explore her website at release2heal.com. But yeah, and all the Instagram, all the things where you can find her will be in the show notes. So she basically touches on, I think, what 100% of us mothers go through. Like, I don't care what phase of life you're in, or how old of a—young of a mom you are, or what situation you're in. We just keep feeling this. It feels overwhelming, this pressure to keep everything running while also staying emotionally steady, right?

"I'm fine, I'm fine, everything's fine." Everything's fine. And you're like, this is the fix, that everything's fine. So where does that expectation come from? And what—and I know it costs us so much over time, and you're going to delve into that a little bit, but I know for me as a kid, I kind of always felt that pressure and wasn't really receiving it necessarily from my parents, but, like, to be perfect and to perform and to—and to—and to. And it was really—it ended up, you know, I ended up being an emotional depressed, anxiety-ridden, you know, suicidal teenager because it all caught up to me, and the ADHD and all the things all—all, right, caught up because I wasn't—I wasn't fine for most of my life. And that's what it cost me over time. As a kid, right? And then you compact motherhood, work, relationships, you know, all the things.

What do you find now within just the world and your clients? What was it really costing us?

Yeah. I think it cost a lot of, like, disconnection, right? In terms of, like, losing in touch with yourself and what you truly need. And you just kind of stay in this cycle of always managing maybe what needs to be done or what you think needs to be done, and there's no room to really, truly be connected with your body, your mind, the people around you, your families that you're growing, or the people that, you know, you love and support. So it's a great way to kind of disconnect from yourself and what we—you know, and that's a way—a great way that we don't want to live, right? That's the way we don't want to live. We don't want to stay disconnected because then we don't experience life in the best way possible, right? So I think that's the number 1 thing that I've noticed in my clients is that they are completely disconnected.

Yeah. You don't experience life in the best way possible, right? And I mean, I feel like we talk a lot about that in the book, about going from surviving to thriving, but people are like, "Well, I just got to get through. I'm in survival mode. I'm just in survival mode." And I was like, to be in survival mode for a long period of time is, like, not possible without, I think, like, getting really sick. Like, I got real sick, you know what I mean? For a good chunk of time. My nervous system was shot, right? I was not okay. I don't even know if I remember the signs. I think it was during COVID when I, like, hit rock bottom. But what are some of those signs a woman might be operating, like, in this survival mode? Because eventually it's like, "Well, I just used to this. This is just being a mom. This is just how it is." And you're like, "But can it not be?" Right?

Can it be not like this? Because I'm very great and talented at, like, appearing great on the outside. Like, I'm also, like, a trained actor.

Yeah.

For 25 years. So I also have the tools and skills to be someone else or act like someone else that's, you know, not in her body or that's not really feeling or acting, like, on the outside, which she's really feeling on the inside. And it took a, you know, a friend during COVID to calm—not necessarily calm me out, but just, "Hey, I'm doing this, and I got a psychiatrist and therapist, and they recommended this and this medication, and it's really lifted the weight on me. Maybe you should look into it." And I did. But what does that look like? I think—I think it can look different for everyone, but what have you found that this looks like in women who are in complete survival mode but they're like, "Chugging along, everything's fine."

Yeah.

"I'm doing my thing."

Yeah. So survival mode could look different, like you said, for a lot of people. And I love that your friend was like, "Hey, you know, you have someone close to you to kind of say, 'Hey, I think you could get some additional support.'" But let's just say if someone doesn't really have that and they're noticing maybe signs like they're really irritable, they're exhausted a lot, very tired, maybe there's some resentment coming up with their partner, family members, right? But internally, you're just, again, back to that disconnected piece. Maybe you're easily overwhelmed. And I think it's truly important to understand that you can be functioning and still, like, not be okay, right? And you could be getting through the day, but you're not really in it. I think we've all been in a—I know I've been in a time where I remember getting through the day, but I wasn't really present in the day. And I'm like, "Where did today go?" And I'm just depleted. And if you're running like that on a day-to-day basis for months at a time, I think that's a moment where you can say, "Okay, maybe I need to check in with myself or some additional support and family members." So really looking at how you're feeling and taking those small moments to check in with yourself will help you recognize if you're constantly running in survival mode.

It's like when you're driving and you don't really know how you ended up from A to B.

Yes.

You're like, you know, what kind of feeling? Like, you're walking through life and you're like, "I don't—I drove here, and I think I drove here safely, but, like, I don't actually recall the steps and the stoplights."

Yeah. Yep.

Right? Because you're not being present.

You're doing that on a consistent basis. Or your kids, you're like, showing up for events at the kids' school and you're like, "I don't even remember what happened or took place." And by the end of the night, maybe you're just completely out of it. And you're noticing that. A lot of times we do notice it. And that's why I talk a lot about in my book about really listening to yourself and how do you do that. It's hard to stop and listen, but, you know, there's small moments that you can incorporate in your day to try to check in. Yeah.

But it's possible, right? And it always starts with those little things and using those tools and starting small. And as we know, like, habit stacking and, like, one small step in front of that compacts, right? And it can actually make a big difference. Like, we don't need to do a huge overhaul and go on a 20-day trip to find ourselves again. Like, right? Like, it's not possible for most of us.

That is not.

People easily love, you know, adventure away from everything. Like, sure, maybe eventually, and maybe plan for something like that. Don't—I wouldn't discount any of that. But we find that we can lose ourselves in motherhood. But I also think it's really cool to be able to step back and kind of navigate or plan a map back to—not back, but forward to—who am I becoming? Because you're not ever going to be the same. You're not ever, ever, ever going to be the same. And you don't want to be. We don't want to go back. We chose this path, and then we're going to move forward on it. And so who am I becoming, right? Who am I becoming in this space of a mother? Yes, and it can be messy, and it can be ugly, and it can be beautiful. And those things can also coexist at the same time. I really only recently came to that after all my babies were bigger, you know what I mean?

Like, how could I love this so much and also, like, hate this so much, right?

Yes.

And then feeling guilty for the hate, you know? But they can coexist at the same time. But how do—how in the chaos, how do we kind of navigate that and that experience of feeling disconnected from, like, "This is who I was"? Because isn't it so true? And it's like, your life is, like, split in two after you have kids. It's like before and after. It's just like, "That was before. That was another universe."

Yeah. And a lot of the times, it's like, like you said, like, we're trying to get back to who we were. I think it's important to look forward, like you said, but also understanding that some of those pieces of you before us, they're still there, right? But they may look differently, so it may show up differently. So that identity piece is so important. I love being a mom. I'm a mom to a beautiful 9-year-old busy boy, and he's awesome, but also that's not all of my identity. Like, there's other aspects of Shareese that I really, truly love and I like to tap into. And I think a lot of the times you do have to take those moments because we love our children, our family deeply, but it's like, "Okay, what do I need, right? What do I need, and what does that look like for me?" So I think it starts with those pieces of honesty. I talk a lot about that as well, how to become really, truly honest with yourself. And even if it's messy, if it's like, "Whoa, that was—oh gosh, that kind of hurt a little bit," but that's okay, right?

You know, we build from there, the moment we become honest and then allowing our identity to shift as it needs to. But understand that you are a mother, but also there's other aspects to you, right?

Yeah.

And you deserve to live that life as well, so.

Yeah, you do. You absolutely do. Because it can feel confusing, and you can feel a little lost because you're venturing into something that is entirely brand new. Like, it's nothing you can really fully prepare for, right?

No, not at all.

You experience it, and you don't know what kind of kid's going to come out. And that changes, like, every—that kid changes every few months, right? So you're always shifting and adjusting. And sometimes as your kid's shifting and adjusting, you feel like, you know, you have to, too, which can get very—you can get lost in it all. I found that getting back to yourself sometimes means, like, just being by yourself.

Absolutely.

And I'm not saying on the toilet with the door locked because I'm not yet.

No.

But, like, being very clear about—and you talk a lot about that, about setting boundaries. And, man, I wish I learned about boundary setting, like, 20 years ago, you know what I mean? What am I going to let in? What am I going to let go? How can I really just set myself up for success so I can feel like myself? And when we feel more like ourselves, we're going to be better mothers. We're going to be more kind and give ourselves more grace. I think that it all takes practice, right? It all takes practice and giving ourselves a lot of grace. So when we talk about boundaries, that can be in relation to people, places, things, you know what I mean? Like, phones, like setting boundaries around technology. I feel like it's a little bit harder when we're faced with it, like, in real relationships, right?

Or with mother-in-laws or—so educate us on how to allow her.

Yeah. You know, boundaries seem like a scary word, right? Or it makes us think, like, we have to be—we're being mean or, like, we're, like, shutting people out. Like, this is a boundary you can't cross.

Like, I'm drawing a line.

I'm drawing a thick line. It's like, no, actually, I am—I'm offering people to enter the, you know, their interactions with me in a certain way that makes me feel good and that makes them feel good as well, right? You know, it respects me, and then they're able to support me or love me or, you know, be in my life in a way that supports both of us, the relationship, right? So I always think about, like, boundaries are truly a lifesaver because when you set that tone already, everything should flow. People that love you are okay with, "Hey, the moment you come in from work, maybe you need 15, 20 minutes to get yourself together, and you don't want to instantly go into doing all of the things in the house," right? That is a firm boundary that you can have because you just need a minute for yourself, right? And when we—it usually is about explaining those boundaries a little bit to certain people because a lot of the times we think people know things and they don't. They're just doing whatever that they think that you're okay with.

But if we're just operating through life and we're not truly expressing what makes us feel uncomfortable, what works for us and what doesn't work, then we're just kind of floating out here. And then, you know, that resentment and frustration will then exist in motherhood, in our jobs, in our personal relationships. So I just say with boundaries, it's just about starting very small and being okay with having certain conversations, right?

Yeah.

And really understanding that it is okay to want time to yourself. It is okay to put these things in place. And it's about being consistent with those things, too. Because if you have very loose boundaries, then, you know, a lot of the times maybe your kids or people or loved ones, they might be like, "Well, you said it was okay last time," but truly, it really wasn't. So boundaries, you have to be consistent as well. And they really, really matter because the moment that you make them stick to other people around you, they usually fall in line because they love you, right? And if they don't, then, you know, that's another conversation that you can have with them. But boundaries, it's all about those small moments of honesty and just relaying that to the people around you and to yourself. We have to respect our own boundaries, too. We talk a lot about other people respecting them, but if we're not, then it really kind of doesn't matter, so.

Right. It doesn't. I found that it's funny when you say, like, thick line, thick boundary.

Yeah.

Thick line. Because that kind of is like how, you know, is it this tiny line that's really gray, you know what I mean? Or is it a thick line where you're like, "No, like, I respect myself enough to relay this, you know, this message around this boundary that I'm setting." I think a lot of women don't know how to, like, give words to it sometimes, especially when you're, like, in the throes of motherhood and, you know, maybe early postpartum chaos. And so, like, I offer in my book, I offer, like, scripts, like, "Say these things."

Oh, I love that. I wrote an article on boundaries on my website in the blog portion of it, and it has a little, you know, little sayings and things you can say. I think that's really helpful. I think they're great. That's a great place to start. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes you just need a little nudge or an idea of, like, yeah, you don't have to, like, read this script, but, like, you could say it and then, you know, however people respond is how they respond. And if they get upset, it's that that's about them, not about you. If you're like, "No, you can't come visit until, you know, month two or whatever," and they freak out, that's on them. That's not on you.

It's self-protection, right? It's a—I feel like it's protecting your space, protecting your time, your energy, your heart. And I think really just recognizing what you want, right? Like you said, being really honest with yourself, recognizing what you want, and then that's how you can, you know, start to create these boundaries. And then how you want to communicate those is up to you, but there's, you know, support out there to give you scripts or give you—you can—I would say you can even blame other people. Like, my therapist told me to tell you this because I guess it's really good for me. Like, if you're not trusting yourself—

Yeah.

If you want to start, that's fine. Carly told me—who's Carly? It doesn't matter. She told me that I need to create a firm boundary around my time space. And you get comfortable after a while. When you set boundaries, it gets easier. So I think that's important, too. It's uncomfortable in the beginning, for sure.

Right. And that "no" is a complete sentence. Like, I know we've heard that time and time again.

For sure. It is definitely a complete sentence.

We don't need to add an excuse to everything. I'm still stopping myself. Like, I can't volunteer this because of blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's like, you could just say, "I can't. I'm so sorry. Let me know when the next opportunity is," or whatever. Like, why do we always feel like we have to have an excuse for everything, right? Like, I don't find that my partner's doing that. I don't find that he's, like, making an excuse for every time he has to say no to something. He's just like, "Nope." And I'm like, "Oh." You shouldn't be offended by hearing the word.

By this word, no, I'm sorry, I don't want to cut you off, but yeah, no, I agree. And sometimes we over-explain because we're like, "Oh, no, I'm feeling bad. I don't want them to feel some type of way." But even if you over-explain or explain that boundary, you can't control how someone else feels, right? And I think that's important to understand. Long as you're speaking your truth and, you know, you're letting them know, there's no need to over-explain.

Yeah. I'm not available. You don't want to use one word. I am not available. That's all you need to do. I'm not available. Just practice it. Like you said, like, we just got to start practicing, and then it will get a little bit easier, right?

Yeah.

So when you talk about honesty, how can women start being more honest, you know, about when they need around their needs? I think we feel like we can do it all. And sometimes, like, that's real. Like, "Oh, no, I feel like I can't." Like, "I'm—yeah, today I'm superwoman." I go, "I'm like ADHD mom, and some days like, 'Ah, I'm on fire.' Like, I'm like, 'I got this. Like, I'm killing it.' And other days I'm in bed for three hours. Like, why was I killing it yesterday? This is really effective." Spread it out. Spread it out. But when I ride those rides, like, I feel like I need to ride those rides, which are sometimes really great and beneficial. And I can get, you know, 20 hours' worth of stuff done in three. But being aware that that's how I'm wired is helpful, right?

Yeah.

But I find that if everyone relies on you, like, if everyone relies on you. Find all the things, to know all the things. Like, mom, like, so you're holding the calendar always in your head. You're holding, you know, whatever lies in the future for, you know, their events and schedule. And you're, I don't know, like, all the five billion household tasks where everything is. Like.

Yes.

Honestly, I'm like, if I got paid for every time I found something that was right in front of your face, I would be a millionaire. But, like, we have to stop. Like.

That's right.

You can't. You can't be the one everyone relies on because what if something happens to you? Or what if you're sick for a couple of weeks? Like, yeah, crap will hit the fan, but also, like, people need to know how to survive.

Absolutely.

When you're not 100% or when you go away or if you are working and your work involves travel. So how do we start being more honest about, you know, really demanding? I feel like sometimes it has to, for me, feels like a demand instead of an ask.

Yeah.

Depending what sort of, I don't know, communication tactics work best in your home.

Yeah. I think, you know, when it comes to honesty, I really think that, but something I tell some of my clients is, like, before you say it out loud, you have to admit to it to yourself internally, right? So before we say, "Yes, I can do this," or, "Yes, I'm going to take on the whole day. I'm going to take all the kids to soccer. I'll pick everyone up and grab the snacks and, you know, do all the things," really, internally, how do you truly feel, right? Because it's really, really hard to express your needs if you're not able to acknowledge what those things are, right? So if we don't have the time to really pause and take those small moments. So I really emphasize small moments of pause. Like, before you, even if you wake up feeling like, "Hey, I can take it all on," but it's like, "Okay, let's slow down for a second and really check in with ourselves and see what we really can take on." Or even if we feel like we can take it on, do we really need to take all of that on? So honesty.

Spread out that energy.

Spread it out. Yeah. You know, you might need some of that for tomorrow. So with those just very small moments, I'm really big on just very small moments, and then we can build on it, right? So it always, I always say, we're going to check internal first before we say anything out loud to anyone else, right?

Yeah.

And then that gives you room to decide. And that's where you can kind of be honest and say, "I can" or "I cannot," right?

Yeah.

Or, "I feel like this. I need this from, you know, my supports." So just with those simple things, just think about it before you say it out loud. You have to admit to it internally and see how that feels.

Okay. So real-life moment. Therapy is true. I love being a foster dog mom.

Okay.

But I also hate it because it's, well, it's very challenging, right? Usually, they're injured or something's wrong. So it's like it's just taking more on, adding more to your plate. And then I get super attached to them, and then I cry for two days after they leave and get adopted. So, like, it's like this, "I'm helping," but also this is like, this hurts my heart. And also, like, I get very stressed out just caring for another being in the household, you know, with my three kids and dog. And but I'm always happy I did it. Like, it's this form of service, right? And I do love it. But my husband's like, "Do you remember the last time?" I'm like, "Yeah. It was horrible and lovely." And I don't know. You know what I mean? So I get a text last night, like, "Can you foster this little pup?" It was tied to a tree and abandoned, whatever, and just checked out. And she's great, and she's potty trained, and she's small. The last few foster dogs have been humongous. And so I'm like, "Oh, it's potty trained.

It's small. Like, those are bonuses." It's like, it's not, it doesn't have an amputee or, you know what I mean? Like, I'm like, "These are all pluses." But there's always something inside me. So when I'm checking with myself and I'm being honest, like, my gut's like, "Carly, like, you don't need to do this. There's someone else that's also available to do this. Why do you feel like you have to do this?" Like, you're not rushing to the pound to save a dog from getting euthanized. Like, I've been in that situation. I've done that. But, like, there's probably someone else that would gladly foster this cute little pup that's potty trained and spayed and seems to be obedient. Like, that's like, that's the cream of the crop when it comes to fostering a dog, right? So I don't know what to do with that because, like, I'm happy to do it, and I love it. It takes a lot out. And I feel like my gut's being like, "Don't do it. This is crazy. Don't do it." And then I do it. Does it kind of backfire maybe a little?

I don't know. Like, I seriously don't know what to do with that feeling because it's like, it's a dog. It's not mine.

No, I get it. I totally understand it. But I think it's important that your gut is telling you something for a reason. And maybe, I don't know, when's the last time you fostered? When was the last time? Like, how before this one was offered, what do they call it?

I did it, like, a couple weeks ago. I just did, like, a three-nighter in transition until he got into a home. And then before that, it was like, it was over my daughter's birthday. So it was like two months' worth of getting this dog healed. And so it was like October and most of November.

Okay. So how about we give ourselves a time span, right? Like, okay. How about, okay, we just, I just, you know, fostered one before, and, you know, for quite a few months as well. So right now, it's just not the best time, but how about I look within maybe the next four or five months from now? Because then that gives you a gap and some room and some space. That's a lot back to back. And your gut is telling you that because they're saying, "Hey, we love it, but it's also a lot on us. So how about not right now?" So you can still do what you love, right, and support in the ways that feel good to you, but we're just going to do it in a different way so that you feel good and you're, you know, taking care of whatever needs to be taken care of, right? So you are still able to foster your dog. So I would say maybe in the next few months, if they text you again, say, "Absolutely, sure." But right now, that's pretty soon from the previous foster you just had.

Yeah.

That's probably why your gut is like, "Whoa, we just kind of did this."

And it's always so quick. They, like, give you notes. They're like, "Can you go pick up the dog right now?" And I'm like, "I don't know. No. But yes, I can. I can try to arrange." You know what I mean? And it is interesting because, like you said, check with yourself, say it out loud, and then you're like, "Okay."

Yeah. Yeah. And these things start asking yourself questions. Like, "Wait, when was the last time? Well, how was last time when I had?" You know, like, just all the different things. What did I have to do before? Did the kids have anything coming up that might, you know? So you're able to kind of really see. So saying it out loud really helps.

Yeah.

So I think you already have the answer.

I know. The other impression I was getting is like, "Carly, you have humans to save."

Not even that.

Right? Like, we're on this mission to, like, support moms and their mental health and postpartum suicide rate. And so, like, oftentimes, God is like, "Yes, dogs, love them. Someone else is also going to take this on if you can't." And, like, you are on this mission to, you know, help save the lives of moms. And so we can also just focus in on humans and your.

Absolutely. And you can also just not be at a place where I'm right at this very moment to do anything additional. That's okay too. It doesn't have to be anything else. Like, that's okay. Give yourself permission that it could just.

There's always going to be dogs that need help.

Yep. Yep. That's for sure.

I don't need to drive to East LA in the next 45 minutes.

No.

But he's so cute. They show me the picture and I'm like, "Why are you?" My audience wants to see this.

Do I want to see the picture? I want to see the picture.

It's like, I'm like, "Oh, my gosh." Especially because I can't.

I would fold too.

And I was like, "Oh, you know, I'm picking up my son from a birthday party around that area. I can maybe get her."

I'm like, "Look at that baby. There's a baby."

I guess.

But someone else will be happy to have her as well.

I know.

You know? And you never know the next one just as cute could be just as adorable, right?

Yeah. I got to take my own advice. No is a complete sentence. I am not available at this time is a complete sentence. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. Thanks, coach. We need to talk it out with ourselves. And we also need to talk it out with other people sometimes.

Absolutely.

You know, it can just be a mirror for you. You can reflect back. I think that's also why we talk about, like, in every single show, building your village of support, like having someone. You don't need 50 people, but like having someone, you're like, "Hey, I need to bounce this off of you real quick because, like, I'm leading by emotion and maybe not so much logic. And can you help me sort this out?" Because we need that mirror sometimes, right?

Absolutely. Yes, we do. It's required.

It's required. See?

Required.

She said it. She said it. LCSW licensed therapist.

You need people around you to bounce things off of, even one person that you trust, tap into those who love you. You don't got to do it by yourself. It's so hard alone.

Yeah. And we're so open to have people reach out to us, I feel like. You know what I mean?

All the time. We're show up in a heartbeat. We're like, "Oh, I got you." But the moment that it's for us, it's kind of like all of the excuses. "Oh, I don't want to be a burden. Oh, that might be too much." It's like, "No, you deserve that as well." Like, you deserve the same support that you put out there.

You do. And I think the more often we are examples of that, I think it gives other women permission to, you know, to do the same. You know, I had a friend whose mom died tragically recently, and we have this group text, and it was like, we were checking in on her, and we're like, "What do you, like, please tell us what you really need?" You know, you're sending the gift basket. You're like, "What can I take when your kids, you know, what can I do?" And she was brave enough to be like, "I'm not okay. I need someone to come over and sit with me tomorrow for a few hours until my next friend could come because she's not okay by herself," right? She has these panic attacks. Like, it was not good for her to be by herself. And I was like, so proud of her doing that.

That is amazing.

Because I never heard of anyone doing that. Like, "Come sit with me for three hours because I'm not okay." Like, if we just normalize that, like, "Come, send me food because I'm not okay and I'm undernourished and, like, overwhelmed." Like, "Yeah, can you please, like, just send me something?"

Yeah.

And you'd be like, "Yeah, of course. What do you want? Why would you not do it right now?"

Yeah. Yep. Just ask for what it is that you need, right? Just, you know, ask, and you will receive it.

And yeah, practice asking. I love what you said, tap into those that love you because there's plenty of people that love you and support you. And if you're like, "No one loves me. No one supports me," then I'm like, "Well, not true. But also, then let's get some people on your team." You know what I mean?

Yeah.

Let's build that.

Absolutely.

Building those people and those relationships who will be there for you because, you know, there's millions of people in this world, and your connection is out there. Your team, your village is out there. Oh, Charisse, thank you so much for coming on our show today. You guys, she is on our website. All her info is there, but it'll also be in the show notes. Snag her book Release to Heal. Snag it, please. Wait, the upcoming book is You've Been Holding It Together.

You've Been Holding It Together. Yep.

But you can find the waitlist. Anyway, it'll all be in the show notes. You can find it. Release to Heal with a number two. And reach out to her if you need to have a conversation, if you need some help really finding yourself again. I think retraining our brain and heart to, you know, get back to what we really need and to, I don't know, I think sometimes it's nice to have someone on your side and on your team to just, you know, tell all the things to and also get, like, legit actionable steps. Like, yes, you can vent and release and all the things, but Charisse is really about, like, I would say, like, you know, moving on and not needing you again, right? That's what.

That's what we want.

That's what we want. We don't want you to keep coming back for help for 20 years from now. Like, we want you to heal and to find ways to help yourself become grounded and emotionally regulated because you also get to pass on those skills to those around you and especially to your kids, right, which is huge. Like, we're raising the next generation. And if those people can be more connected to themselves, especially in such a busy, crazy world, I think we're doing the world a great, great service. And it's, you know, one of the hardest jobs in the world is to be a mother, but we don't have to do it alone. We got you, mama. Charisse got you. Charisse got you, mama. And if this episode again resonated with you or you would love to share it, please, please, please like and subscribe, forward it on, copy and paste, forward it on to any of your friends via text, email, whatever. Send it around because I think it's really important for us to learn how to advocate for ourselves and set boundaries and be really, really honest about what we need because what we need matters.

And you deserve all the support. All the support in the world, and you deserve it. All right. Until next time, take care, everyone.

Bye.

Bye.