Setting realistic New Year's resolutions is crucial for achieving long-term success, as studies show that only 8% of people actually meet their goals. This episode dives into the common pitfalls that lead to failure, such as setting unrealistic expectations, adopting an all-or-nothing mindset, and neglecting emotional support. Tara emphasizes the importance of flexibility in goal-setting, advocating for incremental changes and self-compassion rather than perfectionism. The discussion also highlights the significance of understanding one's "why" and aligning goals with personal identity to foster lasting motivation. With practical tips and personal anecdotes, this episode offers valuable insights to help listeners navigate their health journeys in a more sustainable way.

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And it's just, you know, time just flies, right?

The whole.

The whole cliche thing.

But welcome back to the the podcast.

This is the first episode of season two, which I'm really excited about.

Gonna have a lot of fun things coming up this year that I'm excited to share with y'all.

The break was really nice, so I really enjoyed my time with my family and my friends and just the downtime.

And I hope you were able to do the same with your family as well.

And today, speaking of cliches, I wanted to talk about New Year's resolutions, but I wanted to take a little bit of a different spin on it, because we all set them, right.

I would say majority of the people set them, but the statistics show that only 8% of people actually achieve whatever goal or resolution they set in the beginning of the year.

And the question is why?

And when I'm dealing with my clients and my practice about things that are going on with them, I'm always looking for the root cause, the why behind things are happening, as opposed to just a symptom.

What is causing the symptoms.

And in this case, the symptom is giving up.

So I wanted to use that same approach and get to the root cause, if you will, of why we often set these goals that the vast majority of us never actually reach.

And so I'm gonna just dive right in.

And the first thing I wanted to talk about in regards to this is setting unrealistic expectations.

We've all done this.

We're all guilty of this.

Um, and I think that in our mindset, we think this is gonna be a great idea.

So, for example, you say, I'm going to work out every single day, or I'm gonna completely cut sugar out of my diet.

And then life happens.

You miss a workout, you overindulge in dessert, and suddenly you feel like the biggest loser ever.

I've done that a million times.

And here's the truth, y'all.

Expecting perfection is not sustainable.

Studies actually show that people who aim for perfection and their health goals are more likely to experience burnout and give up entirely.

One study conducted by the University of Scratton found that, again, only 8% of people achieved their New Year's resolution.

So the researchers concluded that this low success rate is Largely due to people setting overly ambitious goals that are just flat out impossible to maintain in real life.

So instead of saying, I'll exercise every day, a more sustainable approach to say, look, I'm going to aim for four times a week.

And the key difference here is flexibility.

Life happens.

Your plans need to allow room for adjustments.

And in fact, psychological studies have found that perfectionism can increase feelings of anxiety and depression, especially when people inevitably fall short of their ideal goals.

So this can create this vicious cycle of setting impossible standards, falling short, and actually feeling worse about yourself.

So quit doing that to yourself.

That is literally setting yourself up for failure.

Look, I live in this space, and I don't work out every single day.

I mean, the truth is, your body needs rest, so nobody should be working out every single day.

I mean, maybe a light walk on your off days is great, but you shouldn't be doing hard workouts every day.

And life comes up for me all the time.

If I get four workouts in a week, five for me would be ideal.

But most of the time, it's usually four.

So that's just one concept, right?

Totally cutting out sugar.

I would love to sit here and tell you that I never eat a sweet.

That is not my norm.

But I do still eat sugar from time to time.

It's a rare occasion.

I don't eat it every day.

But if I'm at a wedding or I'm at a birthday party or something, and that piece of cake looks really good, I'm going to have some of it.

I'm going to have a very small piece.

Maybe I get a piece and I have two bites of it, and then I push it aside or I throw it away or give it to somebody else in my family.

But the.

The all or nothing approach normally doesn't work.

So just create a flexible plan.

And if you miss a workout or you indulge, just adjust your next steps.

And instead of abandoning the entire plan, remember, consistency over time is more important than perfection.

And I cannot stress this enough.

All right?

The all or nothing mindset, which we kind of just played into there, this is another biggie.

How many times have you thought, I already ate off plan today, I might as well start fresh on Monday.

That sounds familiar, right?

Or, you know, because you're during the weekend, you wait till the weekend's over.

This mindset can be dangerous because it fosters a cycle of self sabotage.

The Journal of Behavioral Medicine published a study that found individuals with rigid dieting mindsets are more prone to binge eating and weight regain.

The researchers explained that when people view one slip up as a complete failure, they are more likely to engage in further unhealthy behaviors.

So for example, one cookie can turn into a whole box of cookies if you believe you've already blown it.

The study also highlighted that people with more balanced approach to health and wellness, allowing themselves those occasional indulgences, just like I spoke about before, without the guilt, were more likely to maintain their goals long term.

So the researchers emphasize the importance of self compassion in this process.

You would give your, your friend the grace and the encouragement if they got derailed on something.

Hey, no biggie.

Just get back on track.

Do the same for yourself.

Don't wait till the weekend.

If you blew it on Friday night morning, you get up, you get that workout in, get that detox going by sweating and eat some eggs and some fruit or some eggs and avocado and you get right back on track.

That is truly the, the key to long term success.

And when you mess up, don't just beat yourself to death over it and feel like, well, oh crap, I'm a failure.

Nope, say, okay, that was fun.

I enjoyed myself last night, but today it's on again.

You got to change the mindset there.

I find this is a big one.

This was a huge one for me.

I would go six months and be doing great and then I would have one derailment and I'd totally blow it.

So keep that in mind.

Lack of emotional support.

I find this comes up a lot.

I know, like growing up, my mom used to always say that you tend to be more like the people that you surround yourself with.

So be careful who you surround yourself with.

So for a lot of people, if they're really struggling nutritionally, their family also is struggling nutritionally or their friends often overindulge.

It's kind of like the whole thing of addicts.

If someone starts stops drinking or stop using drugs, they can't just go hang out with their old crew that does those things anymore.

They have to totally disengage with that group of people or they're going to fall right back into it.

And it's no different with eating and nutritional habits and exercise habits.

If you are hanging out with people that are obese, or not even obese, but overweight, that they're overindulging in food and alcohol all the time, guess what you're going to do?

It is inevitable.

In fact, a study published in the American Journal of Health found that people with strong social support systems were significantly more likely to stick to Their goals.

And this study analyzed over a thousand persist participants and tracked their behaviors over a year.

So those who had support from friends, family, or community groups were twice as likely to maintain their exercise routines and their healthy eating habits compared to those who didn't.

So I know sometimes this can be really difficult.

Say you live in a house that your partner does not want to make this.

The changes and the healthy lifestyle changes.

Don't let that stop you.

Find a group, go to a gym, start working out in the group classes.

You know, find an online group that has the same goals, people that can relate to you.

I've also found that a lot of times, if you're the one making the change or the catalyst to the change within your family, your family oftentimes will come alongside you and make those changes too.

And not that my family was crazy unhealthy, but I will tell you, when I started down this journey myself, my family for the most part, was really supportive, which was huge for me.

And they encouraged me and they came alongside me and they were willing to make some changes too.

Not to the degree that I was making changes, but, but enough where they're like, wow, look, mom's getting healthy.

I want to do what she's doing, so don't let that stop you.

And go out and seek outside support if you don't have it in your home.

All right.

Um, okay.

Not understanding your why.

This is another big one.

I did this for years.

So if the only reason you're starting a health journey is to lose weight, you'll likely lose motivation quickly.

And here's why.

Because it's not deeply rooted.

The International Journal of Behavior Nutrition published a study that found intrinsic motivation, such as wanting to feel stronger, live longer, be healthier, have more energy, were way more effective in driving long term behavior change than extrinsic motivations like your physical appearance.

And the researchers explained that people who focused on intrinsic goals are more likely to find joy and fulfillment in the process, making them more resilient to these setbacks that we always get.

So I used to always say, I just wanna lose 10 pounds.

I just wanna lose 10 pounds.

Well, that was strictly based on the fact that I wanted to look a certain way.

And I will tell you that my journey initially started that way from a place of vanity.

I've said that before.

But as I really started diving into this, I thought, well, okay, but I wanna be healthy.

I don't wanna just be skinny fat or just thin, but miserable.

So I had a total mind shift.

And this was more About I wanted to be healthy.

I wanted to look healthy, not skinny healthy.

I want to live in a way that long term I will age better and feel better in all the ways that I possibly can.

And having that goal was way more motivating to me than I want to lose 10 pounds.

So whether you need to lose a hundred pounds or you've got 10 vanity pounds you want to get off, think about why you want to do that.

And if you start focusing more on the things I just mentioned, you're going to have longer term success than getting on a scale every day.

All right?

Relying on willpower alone.

This is another big one, because it never, ever, ever works.

Research shows that willpower is a finite resource.

And there was that famous study from Stanford University.

It's often referred to as the marshmallow test.

It demonstrated that children who relied solely on willpower to resist eating a treat were more likely to give in than those who use strategies to distract themselves.

And in adults, the same concept applies.

So if you rely on sheer willpower to make healthy choices, you're more likely to burn out and revert to old habits.

The key is to create systems and habits, not willpower, but habits that make success automatic.

For example, meal prepping removes the decision fatigue.

You don't have to rely on willpower to eat healthy if your meals are already prepared.

So if your kitchen and your fridge are already stocked with those healthy meals, you're gonna be a lot more likely to to eat them than if you wait till you're hungry and you've got nothing to eat in the house.

And you lose all the willpower in the world because your body's telling you you just need fuel.

And when your body's telling you that you naturally go to things that have high sugar and high carbohydrates, as opposed to whole foods that have protein in them.

Okay.

Talked about this a lot on, on the show before, so this is not new information.

But taking those obstacles out of the way is huge to long term success.

And there's not enough willpower in the world that's going to keep you eating clean without having a plan in place.

So focus on building systems and habits instead of just relying on motivation.

All right?

Okay.

Next.

Trying to do it all at once.

This is something else I'm very guilty of.

I'm a go big or go home kind of girl.

Okay, so it's the people that try to overhaul their entire lifestyle overnight.

It's overwhelming, and it leads to burnout.

And research from the British Journal of Health Psychology shows that people who make incremental changes are more likely to stick to them long term.

So instead of trying to change everything at once, focus on one small habit at a time.

And when that habit becomes your second nature, you add another one.

This is a layering effect, y'all.

It's not something you can do overnight.

It took me several years to really get my system built up well, and I'm still layering in things.

I'm not perfect at this either.

I still have goals that I really want to work on this year as well.

One of them being as simple as staying hydrated.

I'm terrible about drinking enough water, so one of my goals is, okay, I'm gonna stay hydrated throughout the day.

So I'm keeping water next to me all the time I'm leaving the house with water.

I'm making it easy to achieve that goal, but I have to think about it in advance.

And sure enough, just like everything else, all of a sudden, I won't think about it.

It'll be part of my routine, grabbing water before I sit down, grabbing water before I walk out the door, that sort of thing.

Once I achieve that goal, then I'll go into my next goal.

And that next goal is to get more steps in.

So now I'm hydrated, I'm going to feel better now.

I'm going to start trying to layer in more steps every day because I'm good at strength training and all the other things, but I tend to sit a lot at my desk.

So I'm trying to get over that.

But I'm not trying to tackle it all at once.

So my suggestion is pick one thing, maybe that's you're going to eliminate sugar for the next month, and then you can indulge every once in a while, but then you've got that down, so then you're gonna start walking.

Okay, now you've got that down.

Another month, you've got that.

That becomes your norm.

Maybe it takes two, then maybe a few months after that, start some light strength training.

Then maybe you decide to join a gym, right?

So it's a slow progression.

You cannot do this all at once.

If you try to do it all at once, you're gonna get overwhelmed, you're gonna get burned out, and you're gonna quit and you're gonna feel like a failure.

All right.

Ignoring your mindset's another one.

Okay.

Self sabotage often stems from limiting beliefs.

So for example, if you believe you'll never be healthy, that belief becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

In fact, A study from the Journal of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy found that working on inner dialogue can drastically improve success rates and health goals.

So participants who practice positive affirmations and mindset shifts saw greater long term changes than those who focus solely on the physical habits.

This is a big one.

I used to say this about myself all the time.

I used to say, well, this is just how it is.

This is just part of aging.

There are a lot of things that were going on that made that not true, okay?

And I had to get to the bottom of those things.

But I think we often do that or I'm too busy.

I did that too.

I have a really big job.

People don't understand you're not too busy to get 10 or 15 minutes in.

Research shows that even 10 or 15 minutes of exercise can improve your risk of cardiovascular disease and can improve your immune function, or it can improve insulin sensitivity and a whole lot of other things.

You're not too busy, okay?

But if you start telling yourself that you believe that and then the goals that you want to reach, you're not going to get there, all right?

So just remember that.

Change that inner dialogue, that self talk dialogue.

Start telling yourself, I do have time.

I've got 10 minutes, I've got 15 minutes.

This is not how I have to age.

There are things I can do to look and feel better, right?

One of the things that I heard recently I found really, really interesting and that was this identity based motivation theory, okay?

And this suggests that when individuals perceive their goals as congruent with their self identity, they are more motivated to pursue them.

This alignment influences how challenges are interpreted, affecting persistence and success.

And let me give you an example of this.

So I heard this example once and it really struck me that let's say someone comes up to an individual and says, would you like a cigarette?

And that person says, no thank you, I quit smoking.

And then you go up to another person and the same question, would you like a cigarette?

And that person says, no, thank you, I'm not a smoker.

So the one that said I quit smoking is still identifying as a smoker.

The one that says, no, thank you, I'm not a smoker.

It's not even part of who they were or who they are.

They are totally identify themselves as a non smoker.

But the person that quit smoking is a non smoker too.

Right?

But it's about their perception, okay?

So for me, I know I had to really switch my identity when I switched from, you know, having their big real estate career and going into the Functional nutrition space about how I saw myself, because I was still kind of seeing myself as the person I was before, not the person I am today.

And the truth is, for me to be successful in what I'm doing, I need to see myself as a healthy, fit, smart, functional nutritionist who's educated and knows what they're doing, as opposed to, I'm a former realtor.

I used to be a realtor, but now I'm a functional nutritionist.

Nope.

Today.

Right now, my identity is I am a functional nutritionist, and I am a fit, healthy person.

Not the former me, but this is the me.

That's how I identify.

I think particularly those who got stuck in weight challenges or they yo yo diet.

When they get to that healthy spot where they are eating really clean and they are losing weight and they are feeling good, they still identify as the unhealthy person they were before, which leaves that little bit of window to go backwards and regress, because we see this happen all the time.

And the other piece of this is if you make a goal or resolution that's not in alignment with how you identify as a person.

I see this happen a lot.

I see people say all the time, well, I want to eat clean.

Okay, well, what does that mean to you?

And why do you want to eat clean?

Do you believe that our food system is rigged and is created to cause confusion and failure for people that are trying to get healthy and well?

Or are you just saying simply because that's what you hear, I need to eat whole foods, I need to eat clean?

Why do you want to be healthy?

Do you want to live longer?

Do you want to live longer, better?

Right?

So if it's not in alignment with who you are, if you know you're going to be going out every day and eating out and not doing all the things, that's not an alignment with who you are.

You have to start changing how you think before you can really meet these goals and be truly aligned with them.

And I find that that's really key to success.

And last but not least, one of the things that I wanted to bring up is this is my kids always make fun of me about this, but put your goals out there.

Don't keep them to yourself.

You know, one of the things that's been really motivating for me is because I now identify, which I know sounds stupid, but in a different way as a human, I identify as a healthy person, a clean eater.

That's really motivating for me.

I also know that people are watching me to set the example.

So that's also super motivating for me.

I can't just be out and about and eating junk and crap all the time.

And people take me seriously.

Right.

And so one of the things I started doing when I was in real estate years ago is I would make my goals and I would put them on my coffee mugs.

And I don't really drink coffee that much anymore.

I do every once in a while.

I do drink bone broth in the morning, and I use a coffee mug.

And it's a reminder that you can put your personal goals for your family, like your emotional goals, your goals for your family, your wellness goals, your business goals.

I did them all.

And I would make, like four or five mugs a year, and I would put what my goal is on those.

And my kids laugh at me about it.

And every once in a while, they would get one, because one of the ones I put on there was, I'm going to be an awesome mom today.

Well, I want to be an awesome mom every day.

But that was a reminder to me when I got that mug that morning, like, hey, these two kids here are the most important thing.

And so I need to make sure that I'm focusing on them and not getting too caught up in my own stuff.

Right.

That's one example.

And I remember one of the ones I did was I wanted to reach 40 million in sales.

This is more of a business one.

Okay.

It took me two years from the time I put that on that mug to the time I actually reached that goal.

But I did reach it because I kept reminding myself of it.

So you have to put it out there.

You have to put it in front of yourself, in front of your face, literally in front of other people.

The other thing that I do is I print them out and I tape them on my mirror in my closet.

And that's also, I think, really helpful because every morning when I'm getting dressed, they're literally staring at me.

I can't help but read them.

And it's this subconscious thing.

When you see those things over and over and over again, they're going to stick with you.

So I think one of the mistakes a lot of people make is they just kind of nonchalantly say, this is my goal.

And then they don't remind themselves about the goal they made, the why in making it, the identity that they're trying to create for themselves, and making the goal, the motivation, Right?

So all the things tie into that.

So put it out there, Put it on your print it out and put it on your desk, put it in your closet, put it on a coffee mug, but just put it out there so you remember it.

So I hope that you will be one of the 8% of people that set your goals this year and reach them.

And I hope this was helpful.

I hope that you took some takeaways from this.

And I hope you will tune in.

Like I said earlier, I've got a lot of exciting things coming up that I'm really excited to share with you.

This is just the beginning.

And as I always say, thank you for tuning in.

If you like this podcast, please, please, please share it, like it, send it to your friends, write a one word review.

All of that helps me continue to do this.

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I put a lot of stuff out there every week.

And until next time, have a blessed day.