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Ephesians 5:1–14 | Following the Leader (Kristin Gomez)
20th June 2026 • Compass Bible Church Women's Ministry • Compass Bible Church
00:00:00 00:34:19

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The amazing, wonderful, and ever-beautiful Kristin Gomez preached a wonderful sermon on Ephesians 5:1–14.

00:00 Learning to Trace

00:59 Why Christians Need a Pattern

01:53 Read Ephesians 5

03:53 Imitate God Walk in Love

06:05 Forgiving Love Example

08:44 Giving Love That Costs

11:04 Counterfeit Love Sexual Sin

14:01 Warnings and Sexual Ethics

17:16 Guard Your Heart Habits

20:14 Speech Associations Gratitude

24:10 Walk as Children of Light

27:49 Expose Darkness Share Gospel

31:52 Closing Prayer and Charge

Transcripts

Speaker:

Well, this year one of my

daughters started to learn how

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to write for the first time.

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And when she began learning how to

write, she started with those, just

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trace tracing, trace those dots.

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And when she began, it

kind of looked like this.

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It was kind of all over the place.

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And then as she continued to practice, she

slowly and more carefully traced the lines

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and it became closer to the original.

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Well, after that, she learned to move.

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She moved on from there,

from tracing to copy work.

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And copy work is like, you have

a sentence up here, and then just

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right underneath you put the same

word, same, same letter down below.

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And she's doing a decent job.

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but at one, at some point, she is

not going to need to trace anymore.

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She's not gonna need to copy anymore.

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She is going to figure out

how to write all on her own.

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She'll think of her own words

and she'll write them down.

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But for us as Christians, we

will never outgrow our need to

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have a pattern for our lives.

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And that pattern is

the pattern that Jesus.

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Us, left for us, laid out for us.

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So if we do not get this, this morning

or this afternoon, we are going to end

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up drifting and not stay closely on

this pattern that Jesus laid out for us,

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so we might drift or even worse.

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We might begin, we might show

ourselves to have never been on

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those tracing lines to begin with.

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So this morning the Apostle Paul is going

to address this topic of tracing our

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lives according to the pattern of Jesus.

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So if you have your Bibles, please open

up with me to the Book of Ephesians.

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We'll be in chapter five

verses one through 14.

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Okay, we're gonna start by reading

this whole text together and see

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what the Apostle Paul has to say for

us in regards to tracing our lives.

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After Jesus, he starts with a,

therefore be imitators of God as beloved

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children and walk in love as Christ

loved us and gave Himself up for us a

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fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

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But sexual immorality and all impurity

or covetousness must not even be named

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among you, as is proper among saints.

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Let there be no filthiness

nor foolish talk nor crude

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joking, which are out of place.

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But instead let there be thanksgiving for

you may be sure of this, that everyone

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who is sexually immoral or impure, or

who is covetous, that is an idolater.

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Has no inheritance in the Kingdom

of Christ and God let no one deceive

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you with empty words for because

of these things, the wrath of God

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comes upon the sons of disobedience.

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Therefore, do not become

partners with them.

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For at one time you were

darkness, but now you are.

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Light in the Lord.

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Walk as children of light.

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For the fruit of light is found in all

that is good and right and true, and try

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to discern what is pleasing to the Lord.

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Take no part in the unfruitful works

of darkness, but instead expose them

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for it is shameful even to speak of

the things that they do in secret.

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But when anything is exposed by the

light, it becomes visible for anything

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that becomes visible is light.

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Therefore, it says Awake, oh,

sleeper and rise from the dead.

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And Christ will shine on you.

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So here Paul starts out

with two commands for us.

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The first command is to be an

imitator of God as beloved children,

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and he begins with that word,

therefore, which we know points us

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back to where we've already been.

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So chapter four verse 32, we

are told to forgive one another.

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That's the end of this part.

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Forgive one another as Christ

as God in Christ forgave you.

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Therefore, in light of that, be

imitators of God as beloved children.

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We can only be beloved children if

we know and have experienced this

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forgiveness that comes from God.

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So as a result of this forgiveness,

we are to be imitators, and that

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is our first point for the morning

is to be an imitator of God.

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You can write it down like this.

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We don't have a PowerPoint.

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Point one is, trace your life after

Jesus trace your life after Jesus.

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Well, how are we to trace

our lives after Jesus?

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Paul tells us in verse two, he

says that we are to walk in love.

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That is the second command walk in love.

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And how do we do that?

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Well, we do it as Christ loved us

and gave himself up for us a fragrant

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offering and sacrifice to God.

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God's behavior toward us becomes the

measure of our behavior toward others.

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We are called to walk in this pattern

of love, and we can only do that

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because we are children of God.

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And if you think about children, what

you can easily identify is that they

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just pick up on everything you do.

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They imitate their parents for

good or for bad, unfortunately.

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And God tells us that we are to follow

this pattern that He has laid out for

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us and especially in the area of love.

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And that's what Paul is gonna address

for the rest of this section, is the way

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we imitate him is the way we love, the

way we love him, the way we love others.

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So we are called to walk in love.

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Now we need to know what

Jesus' love looks like.

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In order to imitate, well, first of all,

we know that it is a forgiving love.

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Back to that chapter four,

verse 32, forgive one another.

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How as God in Christ forgave you.

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If you have experienced his

forgiveness, then you will be able

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to have that same forgiving love.

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And Jesus speaks about this in

Luke chapter seven, where he is

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meeting at the home of a Pharisee

and he's talking to Peter.

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And a woman, an adulterer comes in and she

has this, this expensive flask of perfume,

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and she continues to pour it on Jesus's

feet and wipe his feet with her hair.

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She and, and then Jesus, he has this

conversation with His Peter and with

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Peter, and he tells him the story of this

money lender and these two debtors, one

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owed five denar and the other owed 50.

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And he says to Peter.

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These debts were forgiven.

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Who do you think Will will love

their, the guy who, what is that word?

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The debtor, more, you

know what I'm saying?

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And he said, well, of course the

one who had the greater debt.

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And so Jesus points to this woman

and says, Peter, she loves much

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because she has been forgiven much.

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She knows.

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How much she has been forgiven

by God and for us to love God.

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For us to live out this pattern of

forgiving love, we must first understand

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how much we have been forgiven.

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If we understand that, then we

can love the way Christ love.

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We can forgive whatever somebody

has committed against us.

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We are fellow sinners, so our first.

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The first way we can walk in love.

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we need to understand that

Jesus' love is a forgiving love.

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You can write that down for sub point.

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A Jesus's love is a forgiving love.

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Paul has already told us and made

clear what we owe God, who we

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once were back in chapter two.

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He's made clear we were dead in our sin.

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We were enemies of God.

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We were under his condemnation, his wrath.

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And yet Jesus sacrificed, sacrificed

himself canceling that record

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of debt that we owed to God.

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We have been extended more grace than we

can comprehend, so we have no excuses to

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not extend grace toward other sinners.

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Well, the next kind of love

we see in verse two is that

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Jesus' love is a giving love.

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You can write that down for point B.

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Jesus' love is a giving love.

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Walk in love.

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How do we do that?

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As Christ loved us and

gave himself for us.

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His love is not a selfish love.

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His love is a sacrificial and

a giving love, and we should

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have that same kind of love.

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You may have heard this phrase, pastor

PJ has mentioned it before, and that is.

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Go the extra mile, spend the

extra dollar, stay the extra hour.

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I think that is a great example of what

a sacrificial and giving love looks like,

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because if we are gonna love like Jesus,

our love is going to cost us something.

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Love is costly.

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Biblical love will cost.

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It might cost you your time.

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It might cost you your resources.

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And just this morning, what we

read in Acts chapter four, you

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see the early church and how

they're selling all that they have.

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And they're giving to the apostles

to take care of the church.

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They are making sacrifices

to show the love of Christ.

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How can you show that

sacrificial love more?

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Maybe you need to give up more of

your precious time or give people

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more of your focused attention.

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Maybe you need to use your

resources to serve others.

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Maybe you need to.

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Miss that lunch after church.

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'cause you're choosing to stay and

help with tear down, shameless plug.

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Or maybe you're gonna give up a

week of your summer to serve in

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VBS, whatever, however you need to

serve in a more sacrificial way.

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You need to think about that

because biblical love will cross you

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something or it's not a sacrifice.

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And Jesus sacrificed his own life.

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He sacrificed so much his

eternal glory in heaven.

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He sacrificed shame and taking

on our guilt, our sin, so that

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our sins could be forgiven.

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Well, if we are gonna trace our lives

after the pattern of Jesus, we need

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to have a forgiving and a giving love.

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But wherever God establishes truth,

the enemy establishes a counterfeit.

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And that's where Paul goes next

because instead of giving love, we are

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gonna see a different kind of love,

a selfish and a taking kind of love.

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Just a little context, the book

of Ephesians, the Church of

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Ephesus was a Roman city in.

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Asia minor and people would come from

all over the world to see a temple.

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The temple of Artemis and Artemis was a

Greek goddess and people would come and

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worship her, and there was temple occult,

prostitution going on all the time.

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This was a daily reality.

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Daily reality for the Ephesians and

some of these Ephesian Christians

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even came out of this lifestyle.

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So Paul is going to address

these sexual sins and tell them.

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To not go back to that place.

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He's going to give the Ephesians

a warning, and he's also gonna

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give us a warning this morning.

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So verse three, he tells us,

here's the contrast to this giving

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love, but sexual immorality, which

carries the weight of prostitution,

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but he doesn't just stay there.

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And all impurity.

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So that's anything that is contrary to

God's design and God's design for sex is.

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Jesus makes clear in Matthew 19 that

it is between one husband, one wife,

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in the context of marriage, period.

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That's it.

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He points back to the created

order to prove that point.

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Well, he says, but sexual immorality in

all purity, all impurity or covetousness.

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Covetousness is desire for something.

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And this consciousness

is not just a general.

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Coveting anything you're desiring.

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Whatever it is, it's connected to

sexual immorality and impurity.

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So it's coveting, coveting sexual

sin, coveting something that

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is not a part of God's design.

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And he says that it must not even be

named among you as is proper among saints.

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So does that mean we don't

talk about it at all?

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We don't ever mention it.

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Clearly not.

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'cause Paul mentions it in, mentions it

in other places in scripture as well.

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but in Israel it was customary for

the, for the man to name the child.

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The husband would name the child, sorry,

you don't get to name your kids ladies.

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That was his job, and it was to

prove the legitimacy of that child.

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It was to prove I am the

father of this child.

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Well, for us to not even name

these things is to show us that

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there shouldn't even be a hint of

sexual sin among you in the church.

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That is not proper, as

it says among the saints.

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So Paul is gonna speak to this and then

he talks about how not to, he talks

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more about how not to talk about it.

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We're gonna skip really quick to, to

verse five, where we get the warning.

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So God gives us warnings in

scripture and in verse five he

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says, you can be sure of this.

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That everyone who is sexually

immoral or impure, or who is

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covetous, that is an idolater.

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So now he's clarifying

for us what the sin is.

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If we are coveting sexual sin, something

that God says is out of bounds,

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then he says, you are an idolater.

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You are proving that is your God.

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And so instead of being a beloved child

of God, he says that you are a child.

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Of disobedience.

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You're a son of disobedience and

you'll have no inheritance in

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the Kingdom of Christ and God.

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And he says, let no one deceive

you with empty words for because of

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these things, the wrath of God is

coming upon the sons of disobedience.

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So the point here is that

we can be deceived if we are

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living a life of sexual sin.

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And that goes beyond just.

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Adultery.

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It's not just physical

actions, but it's our thoughts.

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It's our intentions.

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Then we might prove who our true

God is, and that's what he is

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warning these ephe Ephesians.

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If you are living a life of sexual

immorality, then maybe you are.

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You are never on these tracing

lines to begin with, but not only

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does God use these warnings to show

you maybe where you're really at.

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He also uses them to help us stay

on the tracing lines of Christ.

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So for point number two, you can write

down, let God's warning motivate you to

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trace the clear lines of sexual ethics.

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Let God's warning motivate

you to trace the clear lines.

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Of sexual ethics.

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I wish there were more

warnings in my city.

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I don't know if you've ever been down

glendenning in Salina, but when you

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do, you get to this railroad track,

this train track, and the first

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time I drove down that road with my

little minivan and all my kids in

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the car, we got some serious air.

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There is no warning that there is a

massive drop off on the other side, or

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that the whole road is uneven everywhere.

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And if I did have that warning, if there

was a sign somewhere, I would've said,

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okay, I need to drive more cautiously.

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I need to look and see where I'm going.

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I need to see if the road is, even

if there are potholes anywhere.

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But there was none.

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My heart jumped outta my chest.

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Thankfully everything was fine.

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The car was fine.

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But thankfully for us in the

Christian life, God does give us

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these warnings because he wants

us to stay on the right road.

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He wants us to go in the right direction.

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He wants us to stay on those lines that

Christ has clearly laid out for us.

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So let these warnings motivate you

or let these warnings expose you.

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Alright.

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There are many types of sexual sin talked

about in God's word, not just adultery.

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As I said, there's fornication,

homosexuality, incent, incest, bestiality,

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lust, and then Proverbs five through seven

talks all about sexual temptation and

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not even getting anywhere close to that.

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Well, unfortunately we do see this in

the church and there is adultery in the

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church, but it doesn't begin with that.

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It begins with little compromises.

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It begins with entertaining

thoughts and not cutting them off.

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It begins with looking at things

we shouldn't look at or listening.

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To things that fuel our mind and cause

us to go to places we should not go.

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Maybe it's reading a romance novel for you

that fuels your mind, makes you wander.

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Maybe it's fantasizing about something,

a different life with somebody else.

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Maybe it's pornography, which those

images, by the way, most of them are

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a result of human sex trafficking.

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Or maybe it's masturbation.

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We don't talk about this one much, but.

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It is not God's design.

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It is not giving love.

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It's taking love, it's self-serving.

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It's a lack of self-control,

even in the context of marriage.

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If you're having sex with the idea

of I just want what I can get out of

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it, a child or pleasure for myself,

then you are not walking in this

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selfless love this giving love.

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And there's so much more sexual sin that

we could talk about in the world, but God

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wants us to stay on His path, on his road,

not the kind of love that the enemy that

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points us to, that we see in the world.

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Okay?

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God wants us to long for him.

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Over the good gifts he gives.

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So he calls this sin idolatry.

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It is idolatry.

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And the most common form of idolatry

in the Christian life is that we take

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the good gifts of God that he has

given us in their proper context,

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and we turn it into something that we

are greedy for and end up worshiping,

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but God wants us to long for him.

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I love the words of Psalm

63, 1 through three.

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Oh God, you are my God and earnestly

I seek you, my soul thirsts for you.

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My flesh faints for you as in a dry

and weary land where there is no water.

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So I have looked upon

you in the sanctuary.

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Behold your power and glory

because your steadfast love.

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Your love is better than life.

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My lips will praise you.

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God's love is better than anything

we could chase in this life.

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God wants us to thirst for him.

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So now Paul moves on to verse four,

where he talks about how we should

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speak about these things because it's

not just the actions or the thoughts.

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There's a way that we should and

should not talk about sexual sin.

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He says in verse four, let there be

no filthiness nor foolish talk, nor

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crude joking, which are out of place.

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So this is.

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Inappropriate jokes.

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This is gossip.

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This is being brash.

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This is making light of sexual immorality.

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God does not want that for us as

Christians, they are out of place.

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God calls us to a higher

standard for how we speak,

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and then he kind of gives

us, he gives us a solution.

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Oh, first, okay, sub point

A, you can write down.

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Break up with bad associations.

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Thank you for keeping me on track.

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Break up with bad associations if

we are gonna stay on these defined

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lines that Christ has laid out for us.

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When it comes to sexual morality,

we need to break up with things that

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cause us to go astray, and that's

gonna be different for everyone.

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Some people are tempted with one thing

while others doesn't affect them at all.

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It doesn't bother them at all.

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You know what you are tempted with.

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So break up with those things and

then we need to replace those things.

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So Paul says that we are to, let me

find out where I am in the text here.

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But instead, verse four, instead of

these things, let there be Thanksgiving.

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Instead, God wants us to be thankful.

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Well, how is this a solution?

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How is this a solution to the sexual

sin and the way we speak about it?

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And coveting these things.

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Well, when we covet, we are fixing our

eyes on the things that we don't have

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or the things that somebody else has.

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But when we are thankful, we're focused

on what God has given us, what we do have,

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and so we need to practice being thankful.

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Did I tell you that point?

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I probably didn't tell you that.

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Point.

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Sub point B, replace sinful habits

with the habit of Thanksgiving.

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Replace sinful, replace sinful habits

with the habit of Thanksgiving.

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There is a lot of research about

being thankful and what that

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looks like and what that does for

us, even in the secular world.

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The American Brain Foundation says

this about gratitude, says that

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gratitude is a positive emotional

response that we experience when we

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feel appreciation for or from others.

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But it's also more than that.

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Gratitude actually triggers the brain's

reward system releasing hormones and

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neurotransmitters that have tangible,

physical and mental health benefits.

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Taking the time to focus on gratitude

every day helps to improve our

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ability to manage stress, and it

helps us develop a more positive

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perspective on life by restructuring

neural neural signaling pathways.

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Well, maybe that's why God told us

already in one Thessalonians five 18

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to give thanks in all circumstances

for this is his will for you.

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It is God's will for us to be thankful

no matter what season you're in, no

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matter what relationship you might have

with sex or the temptations to give in.

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God wants us to focus on what

we do have to be thankful for.

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So maybe you're struggling.

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With coveting being married or wanting

a different spouse, or desperately

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wanting what sex can give you in

the form of children, take the

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time to write down or to express

to God what you are thankful for.

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What you do have to be

thankful for in this season.

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Now Paul is gonna move into a

section about why we should not

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partner with these people whose life

is characterized by these things.

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but not just people.

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Why we should not partner

with, we could say.

373

:

Whatever media or whatever we're looking

at or reading or listening to, that

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:

is causing us to be tempted to sexual

immorality and this counterfeit love.

375

:

So in verse eight he says, for at

one time you were darkness, but

376

:

now you are light in the Lord.

377

:

So walk as children of light.

378

:

For the fruit of light is found in all

that is good and right and true, and try

379

:

to discern what is pleasing to the Lord.

380

:

Most mornings I take a prayer walk and

if I've gotten up early enough, the

381

:

sun is just starting to rise, and so

as I walk, I see shadows everywhere and

382

:

I'm not sure if I should be threatened

by those shadows or not, but as I

383

:

keep walking, the sun keeps rising.

384

:

And then the sun shines on everything

and makes clear what is in front of me.

385

:

It exposes the darkness for what it is,

and that is what God does in our lives.

386

:

He exposes the darkness.

387

:

He helps us see those areas that

are not on track, that are not

388

:

following Christ the way we should.

389

:

And so.

390

:

When the light of God, the truth that is

found in his word, penetrates our hearts.

391

:

It brings that exposure.

392

:

Things that might have seen

like a shadow become more clear.

393

:

God wants us to discern what is good

and right and true so that we can

394

:

walk more closely on the defined

lines that Jesus has laid out for us.

395

:

And so he tells us that we

need to discern these things.

396

:

So for point number three, you can

write down, evaluate whether you

397

:

are living in the light, evaluate

whether you are living in the light.

398

:

How do you know what is

pleasing to the Lord?

399

:

How do you discern what is good, right?

400

:

And true?

401

:

Well, it is God's word.

402

:

There is no other standard for

what is good and right and true.

403

:

We've been in Psalm one 19.

404

:

Speaking of Psalm 1 19, 1 0 5

tells us that your word is a lamp

405

:

to my feet and a light to my path.

406

:

The word lights up our direction.

407

:

It illuminates and

makes clear the shadows.

408

:

Psalm 1 19, 1 30 also tells us that the

unfolding of your words gives light.

409

:

It gives understanding to the simple,

the unfolding implies time and effort.

410

:

It's not a Read my Bible once,

read my Bible all the way

411

:

through once, and then I know it.

412

:

I'm done.

413

:

No, the world is constantly changing.

414

:

New ideas of morality are coming to light.

415

:

Our circumstances are never the same.

416

:

We're always going from one

season to the next season, and

417

:

we need to keep discerning.

418

:

What is now true and right and

good in this situation, in this

419

:

circumstance, in this part of my life.

420

:

So not only does God want us to

discern what is good and right and

421

:

true, God also wants us to expose

the darkness not only in our own

422

:

lives, but in the lives of others.

423

:

And that's the last section

that we're gonna go into now.

424

:

Verses 11 through 14, we

are given three commands.

425

:

Verse 11, Paul says, take no part

in the unfruitful works of darkness,

426

:

but instead expose them for it

is shameful even to speak of the

427

:

things that they do in secret.

428

:

And a lot of these sexual sins, they

are done in secret, in literal darkness.

429

:

But when anything is exposed.

430

:

By the light, it becomes visible for

anything that becomes visible is light.

431

:

Therefore, it says Waco sleeper

and rise from the dead and

432

:

Christ will shine on you.

433

:

So our first command is to

take no part in these things.

434

:

They are unfruitful, they are darkness.

435

:

We, if you are a Christian,

you are no longer in darkness.

436

:

So what does God want us

to do with these things?

437

:

He doesn't want us to participate,

he doesn't want us to speak in

438

:

these ways, that these people

speak about these things.

439

:

Well, he says he wants us to expose them,

to expose them because they are shameful.

440

:

God wants them, us to bring them to light.

441

:

I think of the recent Epstein scandal.

442

:

And how horrific that was.

443

:

It's kind of funny, not funny, but

when that came out, it was like on the

444

:

same timeline, the government was like,

oh, look over here, there's aliens.

445

:

It's like, hello, this big thing

over here that just came to light.

446

:

Why are we focusing now on aliens as

if the enemy does not want us to bring

447

:

exposure to the sinful deeds of darkness?

448

:

But that is not what call,

what God calls us to do.

449

:

Love exposes.

450

:

The darkness.

451

:

Bless you.

452

:

God doesn't want us to be quiet about sin.

453

:

To ignore evil is to encourage it.

454

:

To keep quiet about it is to promote it.

455

:

We must confront sin with intolerance in

our own lives and in the lives of others,

456

:

your love.

457

:

Okay, so the best way for us to do this.

458

:

' cause we don't have big platforms.

459

:

We can't just expose all these

hidden government conspiracy sin.

460

:

But what we can do and what Paul

commands us to do in verse 14,

461

:

this quote here says, awake.

462

:

That's a command, Waco sleeper

and rise from the dead and

463

:

Christ will shine on you.

464

:

This is a command to preach the gospel,

to call people, to come out of the

465

:

darkness and to come into the light.

466

:

We want Christ to expose the sin in

their lives that they might become

467

:

light, because when the light of the

gospel shines, it exposes darkness.

468

:

So how are you doing in this area

of sharing the gospel of calling

469

:

people to come to the light?

470

:

If we are gonna trace our lives

after the pattern of Jesus, we

471

:

must be committed to exposing sin

by calling people to the light.

472

:

And that's first point.

473

:

Four.

474

:

Expose sin by calling people to the light.

475

:

Expose sin by calling people to the light.

476

:

That's what Jesus did in his ministry.

477

:

Mark one 14, he said, the

kingdom of God is at hand.

478

:

Repent and believe the gospel.

479

:

One of the first things.

480

:

He said in his earthly ministry, and we

are called in one Corinthians five 20 to

481

:

be those ambassadors who implore people to

come to Christ and be reconciled to God.

482

:

So how are you doing with your

neighbors, with your family members,

483

:

with the people on the baseball

team, with the salesman that God's

484

:

sovereignly brings to your door?

485

:

I would encourage you, if you have

no soliciting sign, take it off.

486

:

You'll be surprised how many people

you get to share the gospel with.

487

:

Well, my daughter has come a

long way with her writing skills.

488

:

This year.

489

:

She's tracing far more carefully

staying on those lines.

490

:

And my prayer for all of us this morning

is that as a result of this message,

491

:

we will think carefully about what it

looks like in our lives right now, and we

492

:

will be able to trace Christ's pattern.

493

:

More clearly every day

for the rest of our lives.

494

:

Let's pray.

495

:

Heavenly Father, God, we thank

you so much for your word.

496

:

There is so much more we could say about,

about a love that that follows you, being

497

:

imitators of you by living a life of love.

498

:

God, we ask that your spirit would bring

conviction that your spirit would bring

499

:

understanding that your spirit would

connect the dots that I did not connect.

500

:

God, we know that you want us to follow

you, and we all know that we fall short

501

:

in so many ways and we pray God, that

you would help us to see that your

502

:

spirit would make clear where we need to

grow, how we need to trace more closely.

503

:

Our savior and Lord, if there are

some people in this room who are not

504

:

following and tracing the pattern of

Jesus for their lives, I pray God that

505

:

you would make clear to them that they

would not be deceived because they set

506

:

a prayer once or they've been to church

their whole lives or or whatever the

507

:

situation, Lord, but that they would see

that they mean Jesus for the first time.

508

:

That they need to submit their

lives to you, that they must come

509

:

to understand your forgiving love

that will bring them into a place of

510

:

becoming a child of God as they repent

of their sin and trust in Jesus.

511

:

We thank you, Lord for your perfect

example that you laid out for us.

512

:

We thank you, Lord, that you have

given us your word to help us see

513

:

and you've given us your spirit.

514

:

Please lead us and guide us

in our time of discussion.

515

:

We pray that it would be fruitful

and that you would be honored and

516

:

glorified with our time together.

517

:

And in all that comes as a result

of hearing from your word today.

518

:

We pray this all in Jesus' name.

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