ThriveHer Podcast Episode 23: Why You Wake at 2AM – The Cortisol Pattern No One Talks About

Episode Summary

Tired of waking up at 2:17AM, mind racing and heart pounding—even though you’ve “done everything right”? This episode breaks down the surprising science behind midlife sleep disruptions, why melatonin probably isn’t helping, and the hidden cortisol rhythm that’s throwing your entire system off. Rochelle reveals why this pattern hits especially hard during perimenopause, how to fix it with small but strategic shifts, and what your body is really asking for when it wakes you up in the dark.

If you’ve felt dismissed, misdiagnosed, or stuck with broken sleep, this one is for you. And if you're ready to stop managing symptoms and start changing the signal your body responds to—this episode delivers the strategy.

🔍 What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

1️⃣ The Real Reason You Wake Up at 2AM

1. Why it’s not “just hormones” or stress.
2. How your cortisol rhythm is flipped—and what that actually means for your sleep.

2️⃣ Why Melatonin Isn’t the Fix

1. The hidden hormone battle between melatonin and cortisol.
2. What most advice gets wrong (and how to stop wasting time and money on the wrong solutions).

3️⃣ How to Rewire Your Stress-Sleep System

1. Small evening shifts that signal your nervous system it’s safe to rest.
2. The real importance of your morning routine (and why skipping breakfast might be backfiring).
3. Why sleep trackers and labs often miss the root of the issue—and what to look for instead.

📲 Links & Resources from Today’s Episode:

🌟 Join the 30-Day Micro-Habit Revolution

A FREE WhatsApp-based experience starting February 1st to help reset your cortisol rhythm through daily micro-habits and mindset shifts.

👉 Join the Revolution Here

🧠 Read More on Cortisol Curves & Blood Sugar Instability

👉 Check out the ThriveHer Blog

💬 Join the ThriveHer Community

👯‍♀️ ThriveHer Hormone & Health Hub (Facebook) – Connect with women who get it. Share wins, ask questions, and get accountability. Join here

💼 ThriveHer on LinkedIn – For business-minded health seekers and working women. Follow here

📱 Follow ThriveHer on Instagram – Daily education, motivation, and behind-the-scenes from Rochelle. Follow here

🎧 Subscribe to the ThriveHer Podcast – Don’t miss upcoming episodes. Subscribe here

🔮 Sneak Peek for Next Week's Episode:

The Food Pyramid Flip: Why Experts Were Wrong

We’re tearing down decades of dietary dogma and exposing the flawed science and corporate influence that shaped your plate.

Next week, we reveal:

1. The “Seven Countries” cover-up that demonised fat
2. Why your breakfast was designed to be bland—for moral reasons
3. And what to eat instead for true metabolic support in midlife

👉 Subscribe now so you don’t miss this 🔥 episode.

🛑 Final Reminder:

This isn’t about fixing your sleep with more supplements, it’s about changing the inputs your body is responding to. Small, strategic signals. Big changes. That’s the ThriveHer way.

Welcome to the ThriveHer podcast where we empower women to take control of their unique health conditions and wellness journey during perimenopause and beyond.

Our goal is to help you dream big and reach your fullest potential in every part of your life.

Each week the podcast dives into expert insights, natural solutions and inspiring stories to support you on your journey.

And now, here's your host, your no nonsense naturopath, Rochelle Wade.

You wake up again 2:17am you're not fully alert, but you're not asleep either.

Your mind's spinning, you feel wired, maybe a little anxious, your heart's beating faster than it should be.

You check the clock, you sigh, You've tried the magnesium, you've cut the caffeine, maybe you even meditate before bed.

But night after night, it's the same.

That sudden snap awake, usually around 2 or 3am and if you've ever wondered why this keeps happening, or worse, if you've started believing that this is just your new normal, you're not alone.

These early morning wake ups aren't random.

They're not hormonal chaos for no reason.

They're not solved by melatonin or a better pillow or yet another sleep app.

What you're experiencing is a very specific cortisol pattern, one that affects women disproportionately in perimenopause and post menopause.

And that's almost never addressed properly in mainstream medicine.

And today we're going to fix that.

Let's start here, because there's a message a lot of women end up internalising, even if no one's ever said it directly.

You go to the doctor, you describe what's going on.

Nighttime wake ups, tired but wired sleep that feels broken, but not always in ways you can explain.

And what do you get?

Maybe it's a shrug, maybe it's a prescription, maybe it's that's just hormones.

That's menopause.

Try melatonin, try hrt, try to relax.

And the message that lands this is just what happens now.

This is your new normal.

But that's not the full story.

If you're consistently waking between 1 and 3am, this isn't just something to live with.

It's not a random midlife glitch.

And it's definitely not solved with another supplement and a better pillow.

What you're experiencing is a stress hormone rhythm, a cortisol disruption that's predictable, measurable and yes, fixable.

Cortisol isn't the enemy.

You need it, but it's meant to be low.

At night so your body can stay in deep sleep.

In perimenopause, that rhythm often flips.

But why?

Because estrogen, which used to buffer your stress response, is now swinging like a pendulum.

And progesterone, your calming hormone, well, that's dropping, too.

So your nervous system has less protection, Your threshold for stress gets lowered, and suddenly you're waking up wide at 2:17am Even when the rest of your day looks calm on paper and in some subtle blood sugar instability overnight.

And your cortisol says, we need to wake up right now.

And here's the kicker.

Your labs might look normal, your health tracker might say you slept for seven hours, but you wake up groggy, restless, already behind.

This isn't just hormones.

It's hormone rhythm.

And understanding that, not just naming it is what changes the game.

We'll talk about melatonin in a minute.

But for now, know this.

This is explainable.

This is fixable.

You are not broken.

Now let's talk about the advice you've probably heard, maybe from your gp, maybe from that health podcast your friend sent you.

It's just stress.

It's just hormones.

Just take some melatonin.

Okay?

Let's unpack that.

First of all, melatonin isn't a villain here.

It's a hormone your body makes naturally.

It tells your brain that it's time to sleep.

And in the right situation, like jet lag or shift work, it can be really helpful.

But here's what no one tells you.

Melatonin can only do its job when cortisol stays low.

These two work in opposition.

Cortisol wakes you up.

Melatonin helps you wind down.

They're like hormonal seesaws.

One goes up, the other goes down.

So if your cortisol is spiking at 2am, which it often does when your blood sugar crashes or your nervous system is still on high alert, melatonin is outmatched.

You can take 3 milligrams, 6 milligrams, a sleepy tea on top, and a weighted blanket for good measure.

If the cortisol's running the show at that hour, you're waking up, period.

And this is where the advice falls apart.

Because most women I work with, falling asleep isn't their issue.

It's staying asleep.

They do the magnesium, they stop the caffeine, they wind down properly.

They stretch.

They journal, they breathe.

And still they're up at 2:17am not because they're anxious, not because they're overthinking, but because their cortisol rhythm is flipped Melatonin isn't designed to override that.

It doesn't regulate blood sugar, it doesn't calm an activated HPA axis, and it doesn't fix the stress chemistry that's been brewing for years quietly until midlife hits and tips it all over.

And if you've ever been told just to take a supplement or try to relax and you're still awake every damn night, that's not you being difficult, that's you being correct.

You're asking the right question.

Now it's time to answer it properly.

So let's make this real.

Imagine your cortisol rhythm is like a sunrise.

In a healthy, well regulated body.

Cortisol starts to rise in those early morning hours gradually, like the sun peeking over the Horizon.

Starts about 4am, peaks about between 6 and 8am and then gently wakes you up, helping you feel focused, alert and ready to go.

Then as the day goes on, cortisol slowly declines.

It dips in the evening, bottoms out at night.

So melatonin can rise and you can fall into a deep uninterrupted sleep.

That's the rhythm we want.

That's the sunrise happening at the right time.

But when this curve is flipped, like it so often is in perimenopause, that sunrise shows up too early.

Cortisol starts rising at 1am, 2am, right in the middle of your sleep cycle.

So instead of deep rest, your brain and body get a wake up call.

You snap out of sleep, you feel wide but tired, your heart rate may go up, your thoughts might race.

And no matter how dark the room is or how many calming rituals you did the night before, your body is acting like it's time to get up.

This isn't a failure of willpower or mindset.

It's your internal stress system trying to keep you alive with very poor timing.

Why does it happen?

Because your body is responding to perceive stress.

Even if your day felt calm, it could be unstable blood sugar overnight.

It could be low estrogen, reducing your ability to buffer the stress response.

It could be long term nervous system activation from years of over functioning, caretaking, surviving and never fully decompressing.

Your body doesn't care what your life looks like together.

It's reacting to input it thinks is dangerous and trying to help you.

But that help is waking you up at 2:17am and the real kicker?

Most of this goes unmeasured.

Standard lab tests don't test cortisol rhythm properly.

Sleep trackers don't pick up on hormone spikes and no one's looking at your curve, but I do.

In fact, that's one of the things that I assess in women coming into Thrive, her membership.

Because once you understand what your curve is doing, then we can actually start working with your body, not against it.

So what do we actually do about it?

If you're waking at 2am, the fix isn't another supplement.

And let me be clear, magnesium melatonin absolutely have their place in women with compromised hormonal control, low gut absorption, poor circadian signaling.

They can help and I prescribe them when it's right.

But they don't fix a flipped cortisol rhythm.

They can support the system absolutely, but they won't override it.

So if you've been relying on supplements to solve what's actually a stress pattern issue, you haven't failed, you've just been given an incomplete strategy.

So let's shift that.

Your evening needs to tell your body we're done for the day.

That starts with food.

Not a smoothie, not a snack, a real dinner protein, non starchy veg, healthy fats, and for some reason, especially those not insulin resistant, you know, maybe even a small portion of a slow release starch.

But this isn't about adding carbs.

It's not about underfeeding a system that's already under pressure.

If your blood sugar drops too low overnight, and often does when you restrict heavily or skip dinner, your body sees that as stress cortisol steps in.

You wake up at 2am wide.

Especially for insulin resistant women, even complex carbs can be too much.

So we don't force macros, we test, we track, we build meals that signal fed safe and stable.

That's the shift that starts to restore rhythm.

The second trick is to train your cortisol to rise in the morning, not at 2am we want cortisol to peak with the sun.

So support that.

Get outside light early, move your body a little bit, eat especially protein within 60 minutes of waking.

I love intermittent fasting, I teach it.

But if 2am wake ups are your pattern, you might not be ready for it just yet.

Delaying your first meal when cortisol is already misfiring, just as stress.

Rhythm first, then fasting, that's the order.

Now I don't want you to chase sleep, I want you to stabilize your nervous system.

You don't get reset cortisol with gadgets and pillow sprays.

You do it with consistency, clear, predictable inputs your body can trust.

Now that might mean cutting caffeine at 10am it might mean stopping the wine as a wind down cycle.

It might mean not scrolling your inbox at 9:30 and calling it self care.

These are the real inputs that matter now.

If you're listening to this because you are tired of that 2:17am Wake up.

It's time to change the data you're already giving your body.

As we've discussed, this isn't a failure of willpower or a need for more melatonin.

Supplementally, it's a stress pattern issue that requires a strategy.

Now, to help you implement these shifts, I'm inviting you to join the free 30 day microhabit revolution.

Starting on February 1st.

This is a WhatsApp based program designed to provide specific predictable inputs for your nervous system.

Every day you'll receive one clinical micro action and one reframed directly to your phone.

We focus on the foundations we've covered today, like the 60 Minute Protein Window.

Morning light triggers evening stabilizers that prevent nocturnal glucose drop.

We aren't trying to sleep.

We're signaling metabolic safety so your body can stay asleep one strategic, consistent step at a time.

Now you can join the revolution through the link in the show notes.

Now, before I wrap up, I want to give you a heads up about next week episode because we are going to tear up the chart that has been on every doctor's wall and school cafeteria for decades.

We've been conditioned to follow a high carb, low fat model, that food pyramid.

But for women navigating perimenopause and beyond, that advice isn't just outdated and luckily now replaced, it's biologically safe sabotaging.

So in the next episode we're going to go back to the source to look how we got here in the first place.

This wasn't a mistake of old science.

It was a masterclass in strategic marketing and clinical oversight.

So we're going to be discussing the seven countries fraud.

A seminal study by Ancel Keys, the very one that started the war on saturated fat, deliberately ignored data from countries that didn't fit his hypothesis crisis.

Why your breakfast was designed by a man who believed BL land grains were the key to moral purity, not metabolic health.

If you've been struggling with weight that won't budge, afternoon energy crashes or that tired but wide feeling at 2am it isn't a lack of willpower.

It's pure chemistry driven by a system that was never designed for your physiology.

It is time to stop following advice that was built on a lie.

Make sure you subscribe because this episode will follow fundamentally change how you look at your plate.

Until next time, keep believing in yourself, keep striving for more and keep thriving because your best life is just ahead.

Thank you for joining us on this episode of the ThriveHerd podcast.

We hope you found valuable insights and practical tips to help you on your path to achieving everything you want in life.

Remember, with the right support you can achieve anything.

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Until next time, stay empowered, stay healthy and keep thriving.

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