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53. Goals Don’t Fail, They Reveal: What Happens After the Plan?
Episode 532nd March 2026 • Psychologically Speaking with Leila Ainge • Decibelle Creative
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In this episode of Psychologically Speaking, Leila Ainge checks back in with coaches Emma Thomas and Lucy Green a few months after they set ambitious business goals. The conversation reveals how real progress unfolds.

Emma shares how a community project had to pause due to unforeseen circumstances and teases us with a new book project!. Lucy reflects on launching her programme Good Company, which sparked strong interest but fewer sales than expected, leading her to adapt the offer and rethink how clients take their first steps into corporate work.

Across the conversation, a common theme emerges: the process of pursuing goals generates insight, momentum, and new opportunities. Both coaches discover that experimentation, reflection, and small pivots are valuable.

The episode explores the psychology behind this, including anticipated failure, experimentation, and the role of community and accountability in sustaining progress. Ultimately, the takeaway is simple when you pursue a goal, the real reward is often what you learn along the way.

Transcripts

Speaker:

Two coaches, two goals, a few months of real life in between.

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Today, we're checking back in to see what has changed for Emma Thomas and Lucy Green, two

brilliant coaches who set intentions around coherence and communicating their expertise.

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I'm Leila Ainge, psychologist and researcher, and this is Psychologically Speaking.

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hello and welcome back to the podcast, both of you.

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It's so lovely to have you here.

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to be back.

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having me back, yeah!

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And it's been what, less than eight weeks since you set out your intentions, Lucy, how are

things for you?

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Good and actually I think because mine was quite time bound in terms of what I was doing

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I had a deadline to meet at the end of January anyway for getting through the work that I

was planning.

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so yeah, so I feel like actually it's, it's kind of good to speak to you at this point and

recognise that actually I've done almost more than I realise I've done.

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quite good progress, although it's not what I expected, but in a good way, it's kind of,

you know, turned out differently, but it's felt like I've done a lot of the, like a lot of

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the work.

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you were working towards launching something in January and I've definitely seen stuff

happening in the social media world around that so I can't wait to kind of understand how

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was it from the other side and a lot of people who listen to this are also doing things

where they launch stuff and it can be really nerve-racking when you're launching something

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Emma, how are you feeling?

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It's a mixed bag, I think we can say.

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So some stuff's gone really well, other things I haven't been able to get hold of people.

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I was talking about the holding up the sky community, which has sadly, the person that I

was launching that with has some sort of family issues.

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So we've had to kind of wrap that up and sort of put it to one side for who knows.

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which was very sad.

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yeah, and then I was saying off air, my February got slightly hijacked by a triumvirate of

things happening family wise that, as you know, when you're a sort of solo business

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founder, doesn't take much to pull the rug out from underneath you.

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there's kind of, if you don't work, you don't get stuff done.

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no team.

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Really, it really does.

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I've actually got my small person at home with me today, which was completely unexpected.

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And that is the theme of my next season on my podcast is Expect the Unexpected.

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And that has come out of, I suppose, sitting and doing all of these planning, goal setting

workshops, and then catching up with folk and, you know, 90 % of goal achievement is the

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unexpected stuff that happens along the way.

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I'm really pleased that you're here today, Emma, because you just told me before we came

on air that there was an incident in the garden yesterday, which resulted in an emergency

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trip to an optician for a scratched cornea.

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So I'm very pleased that you're

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you'll be glad to know they're still there.

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very, very good.

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uh you've mentioned there, that holding up the sky, which was this community that you put

a lot of love and energy into has

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unfortunately

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its doors.

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Interestingly, Your goals were very much around doing different things.

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So you wanted this coherence across your business.

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You were interested in mapping out your website.

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We talked about how you could use your skills to do something like a focus group and get

people to help you do that rather than doing it on your own.

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And then there was something which was taking that coherence and looking at your kind of

client packages.

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I'm just going to be really compassionate and say, you know, it might've been quite

difficult, some things need to make space for the next things that happen.

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But how are you, how are you sitting with it at the moment?

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think it was an interesting exercise in letting go.

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I could probably have let my ego drive and sort of powered through and go, no, I refuse to

kind of give up.

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But actually, there were other lessons in there around, if I was going to do this again,

the things that I would do differently in terms of sort of before launching something and

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Yeah, sort of more market research, more kind of perhaps thought around the business

model.

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So yeah, I think it wasn't entirely a failure.

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And I've learned a lot and I had some lovely feedback from the people that did join us

for, I think it was sort of three months, three and a bit months inside that community.

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It'll probably inform something else that happens at some point this year.

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Yeah, including I'm maybe sending a book proposal off to a publisher.

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So don't put that on my goals list this year, but we'll see.

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Unfortunately you've just committed that to audio.

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I'll be popping you back in at of the year.

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public, I'll have to make it happen.

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Instead of weaseling out.

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Exactly.

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It is really interesting when things don't go to plan.

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it was one of the reasons that I launched into the new year with, here's everybody with

their wonderful goals.

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And then the next week I released it and here's seven ways in which all those goals are

going to derail.

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such as, you know, time, cost, lost momentum, derailment, life happening.

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And sounds like that derailment definitely was something that came.

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bit of a curve ball for you with a partner you were working with.

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There's this idea that know plans do break down and that's the expect the unexpected.

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But let me ask you a question about enjoyment.

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tell us a little bit about what you've gained from it.

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Oh, think, as in with lots of things, really, there's this sort of sense of

experimentation and like, we're just going to do it and see what happens and what can we

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actually learn from the process of doing and tinkering and experimenting.

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And we played around with pricing, we played around with sort of the cadence at which some

of the kind of group sessions were happening.

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and I enjoyed tremendously working with Lisa that was definitely a huge positive in terms

of what we were both getting from that relationship, building something together that we

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really believed in.

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So whilst it's sort of, it's tinged with a bit of sadness that it's not here right now.

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Yeah, I'm not at all.

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sorry that we did that experiment and actually quite pleased with a lot of the ways that

it panned out and having a bit of space and opportunity to play in that way is a huge

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privilege to be able to say, I'm going to allocate part of my time and my budget to kind

of having a go at something and not be too tied to the outcomes.

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I think it's so important to have that playfulness and that enjoyment knowing that you can

make hard decisions such as it's time that's it we've had this experiment here's what

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we've learned from it you mentioned though you know it's given space now

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in terms of the goals that you set yourself, where has that space moved into?

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Where have you been able to put more energy?

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So I've been focusing really on my websites, which at the moment I still have three, soon

to be two, And I think probably since we met as well, doing a bit of work on rebranding

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and sort of having a more kind of coherent look and feel as a sort of first step to

possibly bringing kind of everything together under one roof.

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So I'm doing a lot more.

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sort of connecting backwards and forwards between the two.

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And they've definitely got, you know, in terms of that branding, a much more of a kind of

a look and feel that the three brands I operate under.

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look like they belong together, which they do.

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remind us what those three brands are, thanks.

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You've got the...

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Yeah, so there's the middling along podcast, there's managing the menopause, which is my

corporate facing sort of training company, and then the triple shift, which is my coaching

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practice.

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yeah.

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um

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really excited to open up a conversation between you and Lucy later on, because I know

that this whole corporate arena is exactly where she's focusing her goals are.

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before we do that, what's the thinking behind keeping two

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two websites and what you keep separate versus what you bring in together.

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Hmm.

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So the podcast doesn't really need to have its own website.

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So that that will become part of the triple shift.

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And actually, because it's been going for five years now, it actually gets quite a lot of

traffic.

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So it doesn't make sense for all that traffic to sit way over here.

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And then, you know, the stuff that I'm actually actively trying to promote work wise to be

somewhere completely separate.

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So it, you know, that's a bit of a no brainer really is to kind of to bring the podcast in

underneath the

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the triple shift umbrella.

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And then the managing the menopause stuff may well come along and kind of join that in due

course.

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But I think for the time being that's A, quite a big undertaking.

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And B, I'm still quite sure that that's what I want to do, I think it is.

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But yeah, still needs a bit more planning and a bit more, probably a bit more sort of

spaciousness to be able to properly.

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attack that and not just try and do it and rush it.

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one of the lessons that you said you learned from the Triple Shift membership was thinking

that things like market research would play more heavily in the future in decision-making.

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And one of the prompts that we'd looked at as part of your goals was thinking about how

you might use research in this re-imagining or the coherence around your website.

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Have you had conversations with other people about that?

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I haven't managed to put any focus groups together.

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I think it's quite difficult to kind of hard enough to coordinate diaries with one client

at a time without sort of then trying to kind of bring two or three into the mix.

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So that might still happen.

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But yeah, otherwise just been having sort of one-to-one conversations with people.

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And yeah, I had also did a LinkedIn poll last week.

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to see whether I should change the name of my podcast to align that with the triple shift.

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So that was quite interesting.

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So I sort of gave people a couple of options, keep it as it is, completely rebrand it and

focus more on sort of women and the world of work or a sort of third option, which I think

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was sort of do both.

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And interestingly, lots of people, the majority seemed to vote for do both.

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was just making more work for myself there.

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And obviously I don't have to go by whatever LinkedIn says, but that was quite

interesting, an interesting exercise.

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it's nice when you ask the question out loud I think sometimes you can be stuck in your

own head can't you thinking what I should or shouldn't be

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overthinking it.

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m But yeah, it was interesting to hear people's thoughts and I think it's still open.

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So need to go back and check what the final scores are.

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How would you like to work forward with your goal to get this coherence across your

website?

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definitely migrating across the podcast archive properly is going to take some time.

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So I think I just need to give myself a bit of capacity to do that and then come back and

revisit the idea of putting everything under one roof a bit later in the year.

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what is it that you want to focus on

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So I, next week, actually, I'm going to do my accreditation in a new diagnostic tool

called the Thrive and Grow Index.

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So it's all about sort of organisational culture and thriving at work.

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So that's my kind of big shiny thing for this month.

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I think I talked about, know, sort of shiny object syndrome.

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So I am really trying to rein myself in, I think, you know, we talked about sort of having

almost like a

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do self-development, budget, time and or money.

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So as not to kind of go after too many things at once.

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that's my kind of, that's my big rock for this month in terms of getting accreditation,

figuring out how I sort of go and pitch that to corporate clients.

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What does it look like?

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And actually the part of the training accreditation process, interestingly has, I think an

hour or an hour and a half session on, you know, how do you.

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go and sell this into organizations, which is great.

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So yeah, I think that's going to be my, that's going to be my focus for March really is,

is trying to kind of get that up and running once I've

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I can hear the energy in your voice when you talk about this.

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you're very much motivated by knowledge acquisition and skill acquisition.

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And so that has to feature prominently this year.

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The curious thing here is going to be how you take the learning of launching something.

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Because you can reiterate that now.

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You're not starting from a blank point.

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you're relaunching, it might be something completely different, but you can go through

launching again and whether you do it yourself or with other people, you've learned a lot

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along the way.

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I'm very aware that when we spoke to Lucy last, she was like, Leila, I am going to help

women get into corporates and sell their stuff.

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Yes.

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I want, I mean, you set a really ambitious goal to, I want to help women secure 1 million

in corporate contracts I'm just interested in your observations really, and just like, you

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know, what kind of support have you got for Emma today?

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you

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I'm not sure if she needs any of my support she sounds like she's doing a great

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And that was one of the reflections from the last podcast, because we sat there and said,

you are already good at getting corporate

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I think a lot of my clients actually, I've been talking to a few people recently who have

kind of...

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when they've been talking about their goals around working with corporates and so on, kind

of suddenly realise they're a lot closer to it than they think, or that they're doing it

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already and they just don't acknowledge it.

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It's like, oh, that client doesn't count because they came through contact, or that client

doesn't count because I only did a one-off session.

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when you start to achieve the goals that you've got for yourself, like working with

corporates, I was listening to your initial podcast, Emma, where you were talking about

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kind of like, you know, if you five years ago could see the clients you're working with

now,

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like wow that's actually pretty amazing and I think it's maybe just a little bit of that

that recognising that like you're already doing it, it's already working, you need to

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almost reflect back on like what has worked, like what got you your last five clients or

your last five gigs and where did they come from and where can you kind of repeat that and

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actually look at what's worked for you and what your kind of you know it can feel like

it's just coming randomly or it's just like look or happenstance or coincidence and

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actually when you look back it's like well yeah

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but you've generated that look somehow.

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You know, I had a client that said, oh, it was just a lucky break.

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It was a friend of a friend.

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And I said, yeah, but you made the effort to have the conversation with them about your

skillset and what you can offer.

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And you made it clear how you could help them.

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And actually, you know, at some point you've retrained in this, you know, particular thing

that she's offering.

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And that's why she's now able to offer at this point.

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what was the input you had in those lucky breaks or in those things that you made happen?

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And then where can you kind of exert a bit of control over that going forward and try and

like repeat that process to have your own kind of techniques for filling your sales

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pipeline and finding those great contacts and those gatekeepers.

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And it's great that when you're doing the CPD, it's actually got some advice around how to

sell into organizations as well.

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So I that's often the missing piece, isn't it?

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CPD or you do some new training then you're left with a skill set going okay but now what?

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Yeah how do I actually sell this?

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yeah exactly

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we're here to make money.

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I mean, that, you know, it's not a dirty word, is it?

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We're here to make money, we need to be profitable.

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If we want to make change in the world and do awesome stuff, then we're going to make the

money flow in our favour.

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So, you know, that's something I'm really keen to get women to talk about more.

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Lucy's just really so right in, know, there's so much that you have got right.

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And there's so much that you are so good at.

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And again, offline, we were just chatting about how you already have the right people in

the room coming to your things, even when you don't know about them.

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Cause there was an instance where there's an event I went to a few years ago.

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And you were just telling me, and there was this woman in this event.

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She went to my event years ago and I've only just met her properly.

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And, you know, so you're clearly attracting the right people

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Thank you.

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I'm really interested to see where you go with everything.

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So I'm going to have to get you back on the podcast and much, much later on in the year.

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But I'm also interested in, you know, the fact that you were talking about book tellers,

tellers.

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What can you tell us about this?

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What can I say?

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So I did last year, I did a sort book proposal writing challenge.

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If anyone's listening and thinks they want to write a book, Alison Jones's practical

inspiration publishing.

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And it's brilliant she takes you through sort of various challenges and you get feedback

on

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And mine is not a business book, but I know Alison, so I kind of, that's how I ended up on

the book proposal challenge.

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It's not a business book.

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No, it's not.

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I'm not, mean, it's really cagey.

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Yeah.

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Well, also because it's very, very early stage.

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So I've kind of got a uh half written proposal, someone's asked me to send it to them.

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And so I need to actually sit down and...

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make sure it's kind of, it holds together well enough to be who knows what they're doing.

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So what does the time scale on this look like?

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Well, in terms of, I mean, I've got probably I can send them over a proposal within the

next sort of week or two, but whether they do anything with it is an entirely different

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matter.

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it's great that you've got a proposal to go.

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really, really wish you all the luck with that.

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I'm definitely really curious to know what it is that you're writing about.

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you'll have to come onto my podcast first to talk about that.

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I'll tell you offline.

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I was going to commit it to posterity on here.

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I would be really surprised if there weren't some business lessons in whatever you write.

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So yeah, I'm kind of intrigued in that.

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Lucy, let's focus on your goals.

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Cause this whole idea of, you know, helping other women to secure that 1 million.

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I just remember sitting at the time thinking, Oh God, this is so cool.

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It's cool because you are doing it to support people.

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but it just felt so inspirational as well.

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how did your launch go?

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yeah and it is funny though because when you say that that target around the kind of like

one million we didn't i didn't start there did i we didn't start that kind of came out the

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conversation didn't it so it's almost you know

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out, Lucy, so you've got to do it now.

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know exactly and it's funny because it had been there and I'd like, know, a bit like your

book proposal, I knew it like, but I wasn't sharing it anywhere and then it was kind of

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like, well, yeah, obviously, actually, this is the point that I'm getting to.

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This is the kind of goal behind the goal.

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So it's helped having that and having had that drawn out by the conversation with you to

kind of hold as like, really clear as like kind of a guiding light because it's helped me

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to

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to do one of the things I talked about, which was to keep up the momentum post the launch.

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So the launch that I did was for Good Company, which was the program that I designed that

was to support women who wanted to work at business business.

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So they were maybe running a successful service led business currently, but they're

working more B2C, so direct new clients.

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And they perhaps reached a bit of a ceiling where they felt like they

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who had of kept themselves out in terms of the capacity that they had or they just wanted

to look at having a route to kind of a different market that they could sell to and a

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different income stream in their business so that they could work with corporates and by

corporates I was kind of trying to open up the definition of that in my messaging.

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all of the stuff that you were doing on that.

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thank you.

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And it feels like that's the thing that really landed in this launch was that people were

saying to me, I've never, you know, I've always thought all corporates isn't for me or

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it's, you know, this other thing that I'm not qualified for.

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actually you've opened my eyes to what it could look like.

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It could look like working for a really cool little niche charity.

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It could look like doing something for the local authority in my area.

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could look like working for the NHS or it could look like working with, you know, a

creative design agency or

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rather than just a kind of like, you know, huge corporate organization that feels a bit

kind of...

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kind of really commercial or kind of really huge and kind of really kind of faceless in a

way.

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It felt like they kind of found their hook in by what I've been talking about.

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So that was really cool.

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So yeah, I launched the program towards the end of January, I think the launch date was,

and opened up the invitation for people to join and feel like I had a really good launch.

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There was great energy around there and I got really good feedback from it and loads of

people like you were saying, were kind of like,

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This is interesting.

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I've not really thought about this before.

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definitely got the messaging absolutely bang on.

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was the conversations people were having in the comments under your posts or videos.

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like, that's so cool because people really resonate.

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People got it.

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They were like, yeah, God, that's me.

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I am avoiding this.

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Yes, yeah, yeah, it was clicking, definitely.

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And that was the kind of conversations I having behind the scenes with people in DM

messages and things like that, and people on consult calls who wanted to talk to me about

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joining the programme.

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But that actually didn't translate into the number of sales that I wanted.

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So I then had to have a bit of uh a bit of a rethink and pivot when the doors closed on

the launch.

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So I'd wanted only a small group, but kind of, you know, between like four and six to kind

of feel like the group structure that I planned for it would really work.

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and I only got three sign ups for the programme so I was really happy with that to an

extent because it's landed, there's proof of concept there it was my first go putting it

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out there, yeah definitely and it was also something I've put off for a long time so I was

just like I'm just glad that I got it over the finishing line and put it out there in the

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world oh did I not?

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No.

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I think, I do you know what, I'm not really sure.

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I think it was just a case of kind of timing and not quite landing on.

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feeling like totally sold on what I was positioning it and what I was calling it and then

I think when I came up with you know when sometimes innate you just need a good name that

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encapsulates something and it's like when I came up with good company I was like yeah this

suddenly makes it feel like everything clicks in terms of what I want to talk about and

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then I'd done oh thank you and then I'd come up I'd done quite a bit of market research

last summer around this and then kind of stalled in the autumn around moving on that quite

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quickly which is perhaps the other disconnect for me in

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of I think if I've gone in a bit sooner after building quite a lot of hype around the

topic where you know I was doing quite a lot of market research and talking to people and

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doing a survey and kind of getting quite a lot of people on the wait list via that I think

if I maybe moved a bit quicker it might have kind of like been the wave of that momentum

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but yeah but the people that signed up really wanted to continue even though wasn't a

group format so I've just switched it to more of a one-to-one delivery format because

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logistically it just wouldn't have worked to get them together

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So my kind of feeling is that I'm just going to be able to get some really great case

studies out those clients that I'm working with.

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You know, it feels like a win for me because I had people sign up, I had people say, yes,

this is really interesting for me.

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But I the big learning is actually the way I'd structured the offer wasn't going to

deliver, wasn't reflective of the messaging I was putting out there.

291

:

Bye.

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:

the messaging that I was putting out there like you say was around this kind of like this

is possible for you you know anyone can give it a go kind of corporate is available to

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:

everybody like no matter how like far away you feel from it or how intimidated you are by

it there's a way to make it work for you and so lots of people were kind of like oh I'd

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like to have a go at that but actually my offer was a really comprehensive like let's get

in let's do this whole thing you know and so many people were saying to me I was hovering

295

:

over the button to join but I was like I don't think I've got

296

:

the capacity or I haven't got the time or I'm not entirely sure this is exactly the

direction I want to go in.

297

:

So it's just felt like a real kind of learning curve for me in terms of recognising that

you know I wasn't exactly sure what the objections would be in my audience in my community

298

:

or what you know however much market research you do you can never really know if people

are gonna if that's going to turn to sales until you literally invite them to sign up and

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:

pay.

300

:

it's so important, isn't it, to reflect on the fact that you did this in January.

301

:

In the one month of the year where people are out of Christmas, yes, we do have that new

year, new start momentum, but relying on people already probably having budgeted to do

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:

something at that point in year and also having the, like you said, the time and the space

to do it.

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:

So to get three people off the books and paid up,

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:

Yeah.

305

:

a brand new offer in January.

306

:

I think that is just amazing.

307

:

I'm going to reflect on what happened with my GoalSprint group as well.

308

:

So as well as doing goal setting on the podcast, I launched a separate thing, I was aiming

to get what six to eight people.

309

:

I thought six to eight would be nice for a small group.

310

:

And I got four.

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:

the messaging and the amount of time I spent talking about it was really helpful.

312

:

I think it really pushed me out of my comfort zone.

313

:

And so listening to you talk about that now, going, yeah, yeah.

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:

You know, that you learn so much by probably not achieving what you think you want to get.

315

:

And that...

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:

that's something that I think we forget on the way or way so there's like this kind of

psychological idea of anticipated guilt of failure so we can sometimes become really

317

:

paralyzed in our action because we're anticipating that we might fail and then that brings

this guilt emotion so that's the thing that paralyzes is not procrastination if you like

318

:

but if you can

319

:

accept the fact that there's going to be this disconnect between what you have to envision

to get yourself motivated to get there versus what the reality might be, i.e.

320

:

you're unexpected.

321

:

That's the sweet spot.

322

:

Now that is, I don't know, it's just like something magical.

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:

can't do that without having to practice it a few times.

324

:

I think that's where the self-trust and learning to be okay with

325

:

not getting what you want maybe.

326

:

oh

327

:

And you know, you asked me where that procrastination came from, putting it out there, it

probably comes from that.

328

:

That kind of, yeah, that almost preempting that kind of guilt and shame, or what if this

doesn't work out?

329

:

And it's like, just have, I think you just reached that point and perhaps I just had

reached a point where I felt okay with it, you whatever scenario would happen, however it

330

:

would unfold.

331

:

And I do feel like it does feel really different at this point now in my business to not

write something off as a fate.

332

:

in a really binary way if it's like if it didn't work out exactly how I would have wanted

it to if it wasn't exactly you know the version of success or the best version that I

333

:

would have wanted and to instead see actually what you know how much how much you've

learned from it and the stuff that you just wouldn't know unless you put it out there and

334

:

done the thing quite frankly

335

:

I mean, you said there, you now know what people's objections are.

336

:

You now know that actually front loading with loads and loads of structure and action

might be a turn off to the very audience that you want to get through the door.

337

:

And, and you know, that that's something that you could sit and do market research, but

you might not necessarily get that until you go out to launch it.

338

:

yeah.

339

:

So my plan now is to do a probably late spring, early summer version of Good Company that

is more of, and do know what?

340

:

I came up with the name for it this morning, which I'm very excited about, but I'm not

gonna share just yet because I just wanna do a little bit more thinking around it.

341

:

I know, I know.

342

:

I'll do a big reveal soon.

343

:

But I came up with the name and I was like, like with Good Company, was like, ooh, because

I wanted it to be a kind of kind of sprint version of it or like.

344

:

Yeah.

345

:

like the first step of what I was gonna do in good company with the whole group.

346

:

So that it feels like something that is really manageable and feasible and that they can

actually do.

347

:

So that's why I'm kind of going with it.

348

:

And then the other thing that I've done, which was I think, as I was saying earlier,

349

:

that bigger mission in mind has helped me to come out of kind of like falling into too

much.

350

:

I had a bit of a lull, had a bit of a quiet period after I had my big launch but then I

went straight into promoting an idea to run a free online co-working session on a monthly

351

:

basis to support women to do business development activities because I talked to you about

352

:

wanting to cement myself as somebody who is the person to go to for B2B support, the

person to go to for business development support.

353

:

And I thought, okay, I just want to showcase to people that this is something I can help

with.

354

:

It's called Revenue Room.

355

:

You get a little briefing from me at the top of the session on a revenue generating

business development activity that you can do.

356

:

but just in a quick five minutes at the top and then we're going to do a co-working

session for 45 minutes and then come back together and kind of celebrate our wins and I'm

357

:

hoping there'll be some real tangible stuff that people can celebrate together at the end

of it.

358

:

I don't think anyone's doing that at the moment.

359

:

That is so different because you get co-working, is come and do creative working, do

creative writing, do that.

360

:

I'm seeing a lot of accountability sessions just for life admin and that seems really

interesting.

361

:

But to come and do something, which is the nuts and bolts of here's how you make money in

your business.

362

:

And it kind of came out of all that, everything that I was hearing from people about

saying, just, you know, I need a bit of accountability to do this.

363

:

I need a bit of space to it, need to commit to doing this.

364

:

And I had actually trialled a version of it, in a very unstructured way, where people came

with their own tasks and things.

365

:

So this is kind of a twist on that,

366

:

could be really supportive for neurodivergent women, particularly if your main target is

women, business owners, and that whole kind of body doubling is really, really helpful, I

367

:

know, for ADHD.

368

:

I was having a chat with somebody about that and that was kind of, yeah, part of what I

was thinking would be so useful was that they were talking about how body doubling is

369

:

really helpful for them.

370

:

when I did a bit of research into kind of like the positive impact of body doubling and

having accountability kind of circle around you and all that stuff.

371

:

And it's just all the statistics there to back it up in terms of the evidence and the

research.

372

:

that she's there that shows that you're way more likely to achieve if you're in that

environment.

373

:

And this time last year, actually, I think that's when I had the two researchers from

America on the podcast talking about body doubling.

374

:

So I've got an episode on that, but they're literally researching it.

375

:

But they were researching it with that digital lens and why body doubling through the

online digital presence works so well for our kind of modern times.

376

:

So yeah.

377

:

It's definitely scientifically being proven to be very good.

378

:

So all good.

379

:

Your expertise is doing these types of things, which is holding space and you've got that

coaching background, but the expertise is knowing your.

380

:

your stuff when it comes to corpse and business development and that kind of stuff.

381

:

So it really helps to build you up as this kind of person who's the go-to.

382

:

I would then know, Lucy's the person who can help with business development, you know.

383

:

Yeah, and there's something to kind of refer people to and all of that.

384

:

And I realised it was kind of missing in my business because I don't have a community

space at the moment.

385

:

know, when I first started my business years ago, I ran a free Facebook group unless

they've really, you know, got a great kind of lively engaged community, they're a very

386

:

difficult thing to kind of, to host and to kind of keep active these days.

387

:

And also I just had stopped going on Facebook and stopped going to groups apart from a

couple

388

:

very specific ones that I really am enjoying being in.

389

:

So it just wasn't how I was working either.

390

:

And so this feels like a nice way to like reintroduce that space where it's kind of like,

I'm the host, I'm leading the space, but it's, you know, I'm not

391

:

teaching, I'm not training, it's not, m you know, it's just kind of like sharing that kind

of inspiration and ideas at the start.

392

:

that idea that you're going back and trawling through what has worked well for me before.

393

:

That's tried and tested stuff and that's really motivational because it gives us that good

feeling and it supports our self esteem, all of those wonderful things.

394

:

I've got two people then on the call who are good with communities and obviously my

research area is all about online communities so I'm very interested in this.

395

:

intended to set up a community, but I've now got a very small community.

396

:

And I think a bit like you Lucy, I haven't done the one-to-one stuff in it, but I think

when April will be the next intake, what I'm looking at with my purposing of it is to

397

:

think how I tie it into the one-to-one work, because actually that's what I prefer.

398

:

the one, I like having the space and putting the prompts in and stuff, but I don't

necessarily want to be the

399

:

teacher in that space so I quite like the one-to-one stuff so that's quite interesting but

what can we learn from you Emma about community and spaces because you had that three

400

:

months with what can we take from you that is wise and sage.

401

:

Gosh, no preference.

402

:

one of the things that I kind of underestimated was that it would need a lot more kind of

hand holding to kind of get people to engage.

403

:

I think we're all so busy.

404

:

And, particularly that mine was sort of targeting women in this midlife collision phase,

where we are literally like, holding up the sky doing everything for everybody else

405

:

having the kind of capacity to come and engage with all of the kind of the content on

there would be quite limited.

406

:

So finding a way to kind of get people to engage so that you can build up these sort of

conversations.

407

:

Once people get into the habit of doing it, then I think that kind of can be

self-sustaining to a certain extent, but getting people.

408

:

also to feel, I guess, sort of safe to engage when some of that content might be a little

bit kind of spiky as well.

409

:

And people who didn't know each other before needed kind of a lot more kind of caretaking,

I suppose.

410

:

The other thing it's another platform to kind of...

411

:

get into and learn how to use.

412

:

I think again, sort of underestimated that sort of what, how much of a block that would

be.

413

:

that can be a little bit kind of, I don't know.

414

:

I don't feel familiar and safe here.

415

:

I don't want to give people another WhatsApp group to join because frankly, mine are like

already ridiculous.

416

:

It is interesting.

417

:

know obviously my original research, the idea of psych safety in these spaces is really

cool.

418

:

I'm in the middle of data collection for my doctoral research.

419

:

But there is definitely something about space I don't think in every community, everybody

needs to be fully engaged in that very active way all the time.

420

:

in a cyber psychology way, we call it active passive and, whatever and lurking.

421

:

uh

422

:

Lurking is a vicarious way of getting your psychological support and psychological safety,

423

:

And perhaps there is a sweet spot.

424

:

Definitely.

425

:

Hi, it's Leila.

426

:

Just to say at this point, Emma left the recording because she got another meeting to head

off to.

427

:

thank you so much for sharing your journey with us.

428

:

You have to come back on the podcast to talk about your book first Bye Emma.

429

:

Bye-bye, Lucy.

430

:

Bye, Lola.

431

:

We want the gossip.

432

:

Yeah.

433

:

And interesting because you've called yours the revenue room.

434

:

I got feedback from my participants in my space.

435

:

I said, you know, I called it a sprint, is that the right word?

436

:

And that was really helpful.

437

:

I've come up with the reflection room.

438

:

that word room does kind of give that a feel of like a space to gather and do something,

doesn't it?

439

:

And it's kind of, it's like room to do the thing, like space to do a practical space to do

things, there's kind of different meanings to it at a different level.

440

:

So yeah, I like that name.

441

:

My original research, there was a quote from one of the participants who said, you know,

it's like a digital room and, you know, it feels quite comfy and it's almost like you can

442

:

feel there are corners where you can sit if you want to just sit from the outskirts.

443

:

And then people would talk about, you know, the central part of the room being the visible

bit and, you know, where people feel safe to hang out.

444

:

I...

445

:

obviously psychology.

446

:

I'm curious about all the metaphors that people use for online spaces, but we definitely

associate our online spaces not as just social media or social platforms.

447

:

We think of them as part of our infrastructure and our home and extended workspaces,

448

:

Yeah, yeah, because I'm on a couple of networks that are on Circle and on Slack.

449

:

And so actually I've got quite comfortable with both those spaces.

450

:

And when I think of Circle, when I think of Slack now, I do always think of them as a

place to kind of go and to hang out, and not just a notice board, but a place to like

451

:

connect with people and like an actual structural place in my life.

452

:

Yeah, so

453

:

it's just got me thinking now as well.

454

:

I mean don't almost want to like run before I can walk and I'll see how it goes running

the first few sessions but if there is scope to then create a space where the people

455

:

who've been coming to the revenue room can gather.

456

:

I mean it has occurred to me before that I've never done anything or I don't do anything

at the moment.

457

:

close friends list on Instagram which is a way and I love showing up on Instagram and

sharing on stories and your close friends list is a way of doing that for people who are

458

:

interested in particular topics and ideas so I wonder if...

459

:

you not?

460

:

yeah and you can only have one I think like one close friends list yeah I mean I think

there's other tools you can now have on Instagram that are around broadcast groups yeah

461

:

And that's useful, isn't it?

462

:

As a reminder that we talk about how we have this context collapse in social spaces, but

being able to create our own boundaries and draw those kind of spaces is a way to reduce

463

:

the effect of the context collapse and feeling overly visible.

464

:

And I think people use kind of em different groups and things on Instagram for that as

well now, don't they?

465

:

But yeah.

466

:

I think it's really curious.

467

:

I really wanted to pair you and Emma together when I spoke to you both individually.

468

:

And the whole reason for that is that you were both doing trial and testing.

469

:

And it's really curious then to hear back.

470

:

And I can relate to everything so much because I'm going through this whole process of

learning about how to launch stuff and...

471

:

Hmm.

472

:

know, selling in different ways.

473

:

And it is stuff that really pushes you out of your comfort zone.

474

:

And it does feel really exposing.

475

:

But it's also, don't know, I found it quite exhilarating in a way.

476

:

It's almost made it easier to fail.

477

:

As in, once you've done it once, you think, oh, I can do it again now.

478

:

That's fine.

479

:

I know how it feels when I get to the end of it and things aren't.

480

:

as I expected, but it's not the end of the world.

481

:

So, you know, I think that that makes it easier to to kind of move on.

482

:

Yeah.

483

:

kind of lived with the discomfort once and it was fine.

484

:

It didn't kill you.

485

:

So you realised you're okay and you can do it again.

486

:

Yeah, absolutely.

487

:

Yeah, and it's like pushing your comfort zone, isn't it?

488

:

And that's it, can sit in your comfort zone, it just stays bigger then.

489

:

I think it was that episode with Bav and the others where I think I titled it Nothing Bad

Happened, you know, as a result of going for this goal.

490

:

So I think that's a lovely place to kind of leave our whole season on goal setting, which

is, you know,

491

:

Whether you set yourself the biggest or the smallest goal, the most ambitious, the most

fearful goal, by going for the goal, you don't know what you're going to end up with.

492

:

It will never go to plan.

493

:

That's not a bad thing.

494

:

I think you're going to learn more than you think you will on a goal journey.

495

:

think most of the guests have really shown that, but it's well worth it.

496

:

I think it's energizing, isn't it, when we can push ourselves.

497

:

Yeah, and there's so many good things that come out of something that you don't expect and

that you, know, ideas and kind of assets and inspiration and things that hit that you only

498

:

know through going through the process of like pushing yourself to reach that goal,

definitely.

499

:

It's been an absolute pleasure to have you on the podcast.

500

:

Thank you for coming back.

501

:

I will catch up with you later in the

502

:

Thank you.

503

:

You've been listening to the Goal Series on the Psychologically Speaking podcast.

504

:

The next season starts next week.

505

:

I've got four wonderful life stories lined up for you where women are talking about their

experiences of curveballs and business ventures.

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