In this episode we share the remarkable story of "Mary" (a pseudonym to protect her privacy), a woman whose determination, integrity, and resilience helped her rise from humble beginnings to the role of General Manager of an hotel in Africa.
Starting with no connections, no job prospects, and even being asked for unspeakable "favors" just to get a chance at work, her story is one of courage in the face of cultural challenges.
We explore how Mary fought for her first job, the struggles of women in male-dominated work environments, and how she is now mentoring younger women. The deep love she has for her job, makes her hotel a special place.
This is a raw and inspiring conversation about resilience, leadership, and the power of staying true to one’s values.
Deutsch: Du kannst diesen Podcast auch auf Deutsch hören: “Africa with André auf Deutsch”
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[00:00:09] Mary: It has been a challenge, and I can tell you our culture is hard.
For a lady, for a woman, it is not easy. Just to be at the Ports Authority, I was asked to sleep with someone.
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I'm gonna give today's guest a pseudonym, let's call her Mary. I don't want to use her real name for reasons that you will probably understand later.
She was one of the first people I wanted to invite onto my podcast, because I had heard about her story of finding a job, and I found it very inspiring.
She has been leading a hotel in a part of Africa for many years, and I've always been very impressed with how well she's run the hotel, looks after her staff, and looks after the guests.
When I heard the story about how determined she was to get a job, I said, this is a really cool story that we have to tell.
And during the interview, so much more came out that I hadn't expected, and I thought that, we need to tell the story in a different way that we can see the positive, and the negative, and really appreciate her determination. So welcome to this episode, and Mary, welcome to our podcast.
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[00:01:18] André: I'm very happy that you're here as well.
I once had a meeting with your boss, and he told me the story about how it is that you came to work at that hotel. And he told me that you had waited outside the front gate of the resort every day looking, asking for a job, and that your persistence impressed him. And then you started doing dusting and working in the shop, doing some filing and worked your way up after that.
Is that, is that basically correct?
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[00:02:03] André: Mary went on to tell me that she got the name of the General Manager, and she went to a telephone booth back in the days where she didn't have a mobile phone, and she needed to use coins to make a phone call.
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I was very lucky, I met very kind people, one guy was working for Telecom. He said, uh, "I see you every day. What do you want young lady?". And I said, "uh, I'm looking for a job. And all the time I bring my few coins, they are always finished before I even have a conversation".
So, this guy said, "I will give you a chance to come in my office. And whenever you want to make these calls, use this".
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[00:02:47] Mary: So, I did that, I called the reception area. Someone picked the call and asked the same question. "Do you know him, before I transfer the call?"
And this time I had a lot of confidence, because I got the name. And I said, "yes, I know him". I didn't know him, but I lied because I walked here several times, I didn't have a chance. So immediately I got the name, it became easy.
So, the call was transferred, and he asked me, "Who are you?". I said my name.
"Where are you calling from?" I said, "I'm looking for a job. And I said, "I'm sorry, sir, I lied to your reception guys that I know you, but I don't know you. But, uh, I really want to meet you because of the job".
He said, "okay, come tomorrow". And I walked again the following day. And at the gate that time, I wish you could see me. I had a lot of confidence.
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[00:03:37] Mary: Yes, I was smiling and at that time my head was up.
It's like I've known him for so many years. And they said, "okay, come in if you know him". I was escorted to his office.
He asked me questions, “you want a job”? I said, yes. But, uh, what you want, I don't have at the moment. Can you take anything available? I said, of course, yes.
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[00:03:58] Mary: Reception desk, cashiering.
He asked me, can I see your papers? I did a diploma in clearing and forwarding, which involves custom service, import and export, custom declaration, and he asked me, " "you've only gotten a training from a hotel, cashiering and receptionist, but you have a full diploma of clearing and forwarding".
I said yes, I have, but I don't know anybody to offer me a job. I did this diploma course, but whenever I went for any interview, it was not easy to get, until you know someone in any office, or you are ready to sleep with any man to offer you internship.
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[00:04:38] Mary: And I remember that time it was when AIDS was really spread all over. And then I asked myself, do I choose to sleep with someone because I want to train? Then I said, better I change my career.
I visited my uncle; he took me actually to a hotel. So, I started there, and I got training for six months, with no pay.
So when I was asked to take whatever was available, I said, of course, yes.
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[00:05:09] Mary: He gave me a business card, he said, my director's wife is the one who handles the shop. So, you need to meet her.
After two weeks I walked again. My director's wife said, I don't need any papers. I will take you around. You will see what you're supposed to do. And it is easy. It is selling, cleaning, and you have to be honest.
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[00:05:32] Mary: But later on, I say to him, I'm sorry I lied, just because they couldn't let me come and see you.
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[00:05:46] Mary: Took my baby with me, and I left my daughter at the gate. I went to see this manager. And they couldn't offer me a job. They say that we will call you. So I left. They never called me.
Then, because I used to go to church every Sunday, and my daughter was, uh, she was really a charming good-looking baby. There was this lady in church who used to sit next to me all the time and used to play with my daughter. Then I asked her, I'm looking for a job, I’m new.
That's how I started and up to now, I see that lady and I appreciate her. I always sit with her for coffee, up to today. Because this is actually the lady who helped me.
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[00:06:31] Mary: I made good money for the shop. I will sell because guests love me.
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[00:06:42] Mary: Remember my confirmation to this job, it was like a miracle; after six months, I was given a permanent job, and then I became a receptionist, customer service. Then, uh, front office manager, that is where actually I stayed for a long time, but again, I was doing more jobs, because I, I wanted to learn a lot.
Do you know, immediately I started growing from shop attendant to front office manager, that is where I lost my marriage.
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[00:07:13] Mary: Because I will work longer hours, because I have work to do. My husband would call me and say, "I didn't marry a manager, I didn't marry a receptionist, you have to be home. I need food by seven".
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[00:07:28] Mary: I'm telling you; it was difficult, it was so stressful.
One time he asked me, and remember, this is a man who is not all the time at home. He used to work as an engineer, he used to work all over. But when he's at home, it was stressful for me. He said, " you choose either your job or me".
At home, I was not allowed to say anything. Immediately I say something, he's like, " you're only a manager at the hotel, and not in this house". So I will keep quiet. There'll be no conversation.
I came to my director and, uh, and I started crying, and he asked me, "what is the problem?"
I said, "my husband is telling me I choose between my job and him". Then he asked me, "so now what do you want?" I said, I don't know. I love my job so much, but it is so stressful in my house. Then he said, go think about it.
I did, and I remember all the problems we've had, all the stress, all and ups and down, and I said, now if I lose my job, what will happen?
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[00:08:26] Mary: and I came back and I told him, I think I will choose my job. He said, you're sure? Yes. And then him telling me, “You’re very smart. I promise you; you will grow as I grow". And up to now, I don't regret this. He supported me.
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How did things, uh, develop after that?
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I want to grow, because I stayed as a front office manager for so long, and still doing jobs which were meant to be done by my seniors. At that time, I was reporting to five managers. Who at the moment report to me.
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[00:09:22] Mary: Then he said to me, you can't, because this, uh, operations manager has been here for so many years, over 30 years, then suddenly he starts reporting to you.
I said, "but if he doesn't want to grow, what do I do? So do you want me to resign and then come back again"?
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[00:09:42] Mary: Then I started doing marketing. I was in charge of, uh, local bookings, making good business. And one time I had a wedding here, which gave us a lot of money.
And after this wedding, I started fighting with some managers because, they weren't doing what I wanted them to do, to make this wedding memorable.
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[00:10:08] André: Yep. That's not easy.
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They said, um, we want to sell more wines, but we didn't because the guests were very close to her and I didn't charge, um, the corkage fee because this guest, they brought their own drinks.
My director said, okay, let's call a meeting and we discuss this. The meeting lasted for hours and hours. All managers were there and then he asked, "okay, tell me what, uh, you wanted to tell me about the wedding, which, uh, to me, it was successful, but you say you could have made more".
Then of course he said, "oh, we were to sell more, but, uh, we didn't charge the corkage fees, because she was very close to these clients".
And I asked one question, " why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you approach me? I didn't hold anybody from charging the clients?"
And he started saying, "Oh, it is not once, all the time".
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[00:11:30] Mary: That made me angry. That made me feel bad. So, I started crying and I left the meeting.
In fact, my last statement was, "I think from today I will not do anything for any department. I will only concentrate with reception work, and I will not even talk about any other department".
My director was like, "No, this is my hotel. We can't work like that. We need to work together. We need to sort out this". But I was very angry. I walked out.
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[00:12:01] Mary: So, I came straight to the shop.
My director's wife was in the shop. I took a piece of paper and I started writing resignation.
And she came and said, "What are you doing? Is the meeting over? Where is my husband"? I said, "He's still in the meeting".
She said, "Why are you crying?"
I said, "I'm not happy and I don't want to work here anymore. Because, uh, whenever I do anything, even the managers don't see it.
After lunch, I was called in the office. My director said, okay, we will continue with the meeting. But now before we meet again with everyone, I heard your cry.
My wife has spoken to me. And from today, you are the GM.
I said, " I'm not going to take that position, but I'm happy to start as a Resident Manager. That is a huge position, I told him. I want to grow slowly. I have a lot to learn before I take the position. And also, I don't want to be greedy".
If you find somebody who can be a GM, I'm happy to learn from him or from her. So, for now, I appreciate that. But I will take the Resident Manager.
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Mary, there must have been a lot of surprised faces in that meeting.
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The tables were turned upside down. They didn't say anything. Then, after almost five minutes of silence, this guy, the F&B manager, said congratulations. The rest didn't say a word.
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[00:13:46] Mary: So, now that is where the marathon started. It was not easy. Remember, we are living in a culture where women, uh, they're supposed to respect men.
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[00:14:07] Mary: I was a threat to all of them because, the way I was growing, my growth was so fast.
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[00:14:20] Mary: They're still there up to today.
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[00:14:23] Mary: Now, yes, it was a fight. I really appreciate my director. Because, uh, he said one thing, "don't cry in front of them, go in the washroom, cry, wash your face, come back and fight.
You will make mistakes, fine. But I'm there for you, I will correct you, not in front of them, but remember, the hotel is mine, and you report to me. You're very smart, but you have to fight back".
The support I got from him, this is what I appreciate.
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[00:15:02] Mary: It has been a challenge, I can tell you, our culture is hard. For a lady, for a woman, it is not easy. And I see it up to now.
I am very tough; they made me became tough. I have learned a lot. I respect men, of course. And sometimes, honestly, I don't look at, I'm working with a man or a woman.
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Mary, you said to me earlier that you get paid to live your hobby, which is a very cool thing to have in life. What is it that gives you so much joy, doing the work that you do?
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They respect the staff. They can see potential in staff, people are growing in this hotel
And that is why we are still here; many people have stayed here for over 30 years.
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Now, you're responsible for a lot of people, Mary, how do you motivate your team?
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Today, I met a lady in my office. She's been calling several, several times, like me.
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[00:16:28] Mary: Yes. And, two days ago she called me, and she said, "Madam, I'm being frustrated because, when the hotel is busy, I'm always called to do a casual work, but they cannot employ me". So, I said to this lady, come and see me.
She was telling me a story, that one of the supervisors is asking for other favours. That is why she was never allowed to bring her applications.
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[00:17:03] Mary: I say to this lady, are you ready to take any job in any department?
And immediately I finish talking to her, and she was waiting for me outside, a guest came to say to me, "I'm looking for a nanny". And I said, okay, I'll organize.
I went to talk to this lady and say that, "can you take care of a 2-year-old boy? For the next three days you'll be paid, as you wait for me to talk to the head of this department".
And this lady, she's divorced. She has two kids. So today she came very grateful; "I’m very happy. At least I got something to take home. I'm really enjoying."
And trust me, I will give this lady a job. She's very good, I've seen her papers, and this is what I do.
I will support the kids. I will support the single mothers. I will support anybody who walks looking for a job who doesn't know anybody.
And some people want to take advantage. I talk to girls before they start work, because I know so many young girls who are looking, who are coming to look for jobs are being abused, are being asked for favours. And this is the only side I don't like.
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[00:18:14] Mary: Yes. Yes.
I told you earlier, I did my clearing and forwarding as a subject. Just to be at the Ports Authority, I was asked to sleep with someone.
So, I'm looking at all the staff. I know each and every individual, how they work. I see heads of department not renewing some contracts because of some reasons. But I am very firm, because I am the last person to authorize this.
I've asked questions, and I've made people work, I've made people gain their jobs again, and this is what I love most. When I get someone to have a bread and butter on the table, when I can make someone smile, when I can make someone happy. This makes me more happy.
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How do you do that? Because that takes a lot of time.
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[00:19:46] André: That's wonderful. And it really doesn't surprise me.
Mary, I like to finish my episodes with favourites. What is your favourite part of your hotel?
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[00:20:24] André: Mary, thank you so, so much for sharing your story here with us. And being a part of the podcast.
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[00:20:31] André: And I hope that you, dear listeners, found the story inspiring and educational as well. It's not an easy story, but I like to see it as a positive story celebrating the strength of Mary, and of many, many women in Africa. And in other parts of the world where there is a more patriarchal system.
If you have any questions or suggestions, you can email me on podcast@africawithandre.com and, see you next time.
