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Feeling Lost and Unfulfilled? Discover the Secret to Purposeful Living

Episode 120 • 13th April 2024 • Stillness in the Storms • Steven Webb

Steven Webb [: 00:00:03

In today's podcast, I wanna talk about finding purpose in presence. And there's a wonderful quote that made me think of this, and it goes like this. Dozen Zenji, if you are unable to find the truth right where you are, where else do you expect to find it? How awesome is that? We'll get back to that in a moment. But on today's podcast, we're talking about life purpose. Talking about, is there one big life purpose that you gotta search for and find? Or is there a purpose in the mundane, the normal things, the everyday things in life? Or have we all got it completely wrong, or is there even such a thing as a purpose as today's podcast? But just before we start, I wanna say thank you to Harriet, someone anonymous, Laura, and Audra. You guys are the awesome guys this week. You guys have bought me a coffee, treated me, and I just wanna say thank you. And thank you to anybody that's followed or left a review or just participated or just listened.

Steven Webb [: 00:01:13

You're all awesome, and I really appreciate you guys. So let's talk about purpose. So much of my life I thought about where is my purpose, what do I need to do, how do I find it. And I've looked at videos, I've stormed YouTube, I've read books on finding your purpose, and I've never found it. I've never found my one life big purpose. I'm 51 or 52 years old, something like that. I'm not gonna sit here and do the maths. It's it's about that.

Steven Webb [: 00:01:43

And I don't feel that I've got a purpose. Do I wanna leave a legacy? Yeah. I'd of some kind. My ego does. Do I feel like I should would be better off if I did find a big purpose? Maybe. But I think that's all ego driven. I think it's all like, hey, I gotta find a purpose and then I'll live longer. I'll be happier.

Steven Webb [: 00:02:08

I'll be more joyful. I'll have more satisfaction in life if I'm living my one big purpose, and there's a problem with that. If you do have that one big purpose in life and you haven't found it, are you gonna be miserable if you don't find it? What if then the big giant upstairs, the universe, the mystery, the atoms, everything collectively, whatever you wanna call it, whatever the universe is to you, what if you do have a big purpose and you never got that or you never found it? That's a frightening thought, ain't it? I don't subscribe to that one. Although I do subscribe too, I don't know what the universe has in store, if it has anything in store. I don't know if me breaking my neck was some kind of big plan by a 1000000 Monkeys typing on typewriter somewhere in some ether somewhere that is planning that I had to do this podcast to save somebody else because they've got to save the world in 40 years' time. I don't know. That's all way above my pay grade. And although I don't think any of that's necessarily true, I'm not here to discount it because I don't know.

Steven Webb [: 00:03:33

That's why I'm not an atheist because I'm as close to being an atheist as possible, But I'm not an atheist because I cannot tell you there's no god. There's something like 240 of them, but I I don't know. I just I practice Buddhism, essentially, not very well, not very good, but because it brings me less suffering and inner peace. So why do it? My whole spiritual journey is can I bring myself less suffering? Can I bring myself more joy? Can I enjoy this life more? And if your spiritual journey, if what you're doing on a daily basis is making inroads into that, you're doing alright. So at that point perhaps that's your purpose. Perhaps your purpose is to find the purpose in everyday things. So if we go back to that quote at the very beginning, if you are unable to find the truth right where you are, where else do you expect to find it? Because you only have right now. You only have this moment.

Steven Webb [: 00:04:45

You don't have next week, not yet. When you're there next week, you'll be here. You don't have last week, last year, You just have them to teach you things, to remember things, to it's a trajectory in the story because our brain does that in order to protect us in future. That's the only reason we actually have a memory is because if we didn't have a memory, we keep going into that same forest that we were attacked in. You know? We must remember that bear. It's not a nice creature. It's not as cuddly as well. It looks.

Steven Webb [: 00:05:26

That's why we have a memory. That's why we have a timeline. Not all animals have timelines of memories. They have found out that even, like, baby animals, like, even a I think it was that the quickest cycle of any living animal or something like that is a fruit fly or something like that, and it has, like, 3 hours or something. And they even have a memory and a timeline even in that, because they can remember where their I I don't know, their food is or something like that. I'm going off topic like I literally do. They're always on these podcast. But what about if your purpose is to just be the best of what you're doing right now? What if my purpose right now is just to record an awesome podcast? What if it's just to tell you about the next thing? What if my, purpose this morning was to go to the doctors because I needed to go to the doctors? I found a sore on myself, and I had to go to the doctors and a nurse and said, hey.

Steven Webb [: 00:06:37

You heal quickly. Go home. I'll see you on Tuesday. Long story short. Or maybe my purpose on the way home was just to get home and enjoy the drive home. Maybe the purpose there's a Zen story about, you know, if you're mopping the floor, create a painting on the floor. I I butchered that right up. But just do what you're doing.

Steven Webb [: 00:07:05

Tick that hand says, the miracle is not to walk on water. The miracle is to walk on the green earth in the present moment to appreciate the peace and beauty that are available now. That peace and beauty is not available to you next week, and it's not last week's not available to you now. Enjoy right now. The sun's come out. The spring's here. The the rain has stopped for a few days. And I was out this morning, and I was feeling the sun on my face.

Steven Webb [: 00:07:39

I just felt really nice. I was with a friend the other day, and we were walking back from Dunal, and I could feel the cold of the wind and the sun on my face at the same time. There is a word for it and I I keep mentioning this word because I love it. It's apricity. It's to feel the warmth of the sun on a cold day. But in that moment, and we had the discussion, In that moment, we we were talking about, can you feel the warmth and the cold at the same time? And additionally, we think yes. But then no, because you I can feel the warmth. I can feel the cold.

Steven Webb [: 00:08:26

I can feel the warmth. And you flip flip between the 2. Maybe the purpose is just to feel the warmth or just to feel the cold. Maybe the purpose, if you're washing dishes, is just to wash dishes. Maybe your purpose to meditate when you're meditating is just observe thoughts. Maybe in this moment, in this part of the podcast, my purpose is just to slow down and go take a breath. Who knows? Like I say, it's way above my pay grade, and if you're one of the listeners that happens to know what the universe is up to, you know, let me know. Go to stevenwebb.uk and send me a message and tell me what the plans of the year.

Steven Webb [: 00:09:20

No. Don't. I don't wanna know. I'm happy with where we are. As as all the travesty in the world and all the things that are going wrong, there's many things that are going right. It may not feel like it, but there's less civil wars and less wars than ever before in the history of humans. We have the power to literally destroy humans in our hands, We haven't done it yet. We're not doing a bad job.

Steven Webb [: 00:09:47

More people have access to running water than ever before. Do we have a long way to go? Hell, yes. The average person in the western world has more than the richest person on the planet did 30 years ago. I have access to every album in the world for less than $10 per month. I can watch any movie. I've got so many channels on the TV. I've got I've got I've got way too much to entertain me. My brain is literally I need one of those TVs with 40 screens, and I just watch them all.

Steven Webb [: 00:10:27

I've got a big screen in front of me, and I've got, like, 2 word documents open. I got all these things, and I'm like, shiny object syndrome. There's a bird. There's a sound. There's a caterpillar. And I love that now. I used to not like it at all when I was at school. I always used to be in trouble.

Steven Webb [: 00:10:45

Steven, concentrate. I was staring out the window. And funny now, my teachers would tell me, stare out the window, enjoy the tree, watch the butterflies, watch the little bird land. How life changes at school. We're teaching you things. We're teaching you how to live life. And then 30, 40 years on, middle middle age, you go, yeah. Forget all that.

Steven Webb [: 00:11:14

Now we'll teach you how to live life. And then in 10 years time, we'll just do the same cycle again, and it keeps going on. And the truth is, if we can find purpose in the moment of what we're doing, maybe the purpose is just to survive today. Maybe the purpose for you today is to get out of bed, make that phone call. Maybe the purpose is to phone a family Kember, tell someone you love them because you don't know whether or not they need to hear that today. Maybe your purpose, take a deep breath and give someone a hug that you haven't hugged for a while. Maybe your purpose isn't so big as you think it is. Maybe you don't have one life purpose and you, like, should have 1,000,000.

Steven Webb [: 00:12:06

And each day is made of loads of miracle purposes. Who knows? And I'd rather think that way. I'm more comfortable with being thankful for all the different things I have than being thankful for the one big thing I have. I wake up in the morning, and I'm grateful for my pillow my pillowcase, my quilt. I'm grateful for my hands that I can itch my face. I can drink my drink. I can, you know, all these different things. I was on the way up the hill the other day no.

Steven Webb [: 00:12:44

This afternoon, actually. And I was thinking, god, what if I didn't have my voice? What if I didn't have my eyes so I could see? A, I'd bump into all the cars and people would shower me, and they'd get really angry pretty quick. It'd be much worse than that, actually. It'd be absolutely carnage. You imagine imagine me being in my electric wheelchair, and I can't see anything. Just there we go. That'd be mental, wouldn't it? That'd be funny. That would be a viral, YouTube video.

Steven Webb [: 00:13:17

And it'd be like one of those roundabouts in one of the Middle Eastern countries where literally there's no lines on the roundabout, and there's, like, 300 lanes coming from each direction. And they get to the middle, and they just go across. It's like, wow. Does that really happen? That's what it'd be like if I couldn't see. Anyway, I I digress. You know? So just like gratitude where you have you can be grateful for all the little things, perhaps purpose is the same. Perhaps when we find genuine meaning and purpose in the truth of the present moment, what's the purpose of my anxiety right now? What's the purpose of me being here right now? You know, maybe your purpose is to turn off this podcast and go and make a cup of tea for somebody, to sit down at the table and go, how was your day? Maybe your purpose is to leave a review of the podcast or follow. But if if you I think, genuinely, if you build up your life with loads and loads and little purpose at the moment, it doesn't mean to say that gets rid of one big life purpose.

Steven Webb [: 00:14:39

Your your life purpose might be a statement like, I would like to alleviate suffering for others by what I've learned in myself. Not a bad one. I might use that myself. But you can do the little purpose and let it they don't have to be mutually exclusive. So I genuinely believe that if we find purpose in everything we're doing, it'll be more into our foundations of who we are. You know, the purpose of the leaves is to do one thing, the purpose of the branches, the trunk. I like the analogies of trees because I just love trees. Mhmm.

Steven Webb [: 00:15:27

I think trees just they go through all year long, and they can teach us so much about how we should live rather than we're trying to change the environment to fit us all the time. My purpose is to change the environment to make it comfortable for us. Let's make the world flat rather than just pawn a pair of shoes. I think I think it was Jack Kornfield or somebody said there's probably someone way before that, way deeper, more profound, probably 2000 years ago. In instead of trying to cover the whole planet in leather, put on a pair of sandals. And I think that's where living a life of purpose, that's where that comes in. And, you know, what what's it look like living a life of purpose of listen actively. Maybe you sat down with a friend and your purpose right then is just to listen.

Steven Webb [: 00:16:27

Don't jump in. Don't preload what you're gonna say. Just listen. Maybe your purpose in a moment of conflict is to take a deep breath and see if you can lower the energy in the room. They don't have to be big gestures. Your purpose doesn't have to be teach the whole world to swim if you're a swimming coach. Don't know where that come from, but maybe your purpose is just if you don't dishes, do dishes. If you're having a shower, have a shower.

Steven Webb [: 00:16:59

If you're with a friend, be with a friend. Maybe your purpose sometimes is just to take care of your emotions. Your feelings are rising inside. Whatever it is, I reckon if you live your life just like living it with gratitude, be grateful for everything. Let's be grateful for all the possibilities of what your purpose could be in any given day. Wow. How would your life change with that? How would your life change if you were living every day purposefully in the present moment? So not only being present, you're actually being present with a purpose, with an intention. Don't get attached to it.

Steven Webb [: 00:17:51

I think that's the key to it. Have a purpose in a given moment for that moment. Don't get attached to a bigger purpose because you won't find it. You won't you'll find things you enjoy doing, but you would always wonder whether something else is out there for you. Yeah. Even if you end up doing really well in some career or some kind of helping or some, I don't know, philanthropy thing where you're giving back, It it will never be enough. It will never fully nourish you. Never.

Steven Webb [: 00:18:25

You can never fill that cup and go, hey. Cup's full. I'm done. The truth is the cup's always full and empty, and you are done. And then the ego steps in. And the purpose is about fulfilling the ego. And we know this. The ego knows this and it's okay.

Steven Webb [: 00:18:51

So maybe your purpose is just to satisfy the ego in that moment and do what the ego wants to do. Who knows? But above all, if you're doing dishes, do dishes. That's a Zen proverb, I think. And see what your purpose is for today. Okay. I'm waffling on a little bit now. I wanna say thank you again to Harriet, someone anonymous, Laura, and Audra donated this week. It really does make a difference, and you really do keep the podcast going.

Steven Webb [: 00:19:22

It's not cheap doing a podcast. The bills add up very quickly, and I'm making inroads into making a living out of it. So you guys are really helping me do that, and maybe my purpose right now is to work hard on giving myself a living so I can help more people and reach more people. But above all, thank you, and have an amazing week. Don't forget to check out inner peace meditations, my sister podcast, which is guided meditations to give you more inner peace. And you can get all the links on how you can support the podcast on stevenwebb.uk. Most importantly. Take care, and I love you.

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