In Episode #237 of The Happiness Challenge, join Klaudia to discover why a change plan can look solid on paper and still fall apart the first time life gets in the way — and the three science-backed insights that close exactly that gap.

Whether your plans unravel the moment something unexpected happens, you treat one slip-up as proof the whole thing failed, or you've got no idea how long a new habit is actually meant to take before it feels automatic, this episode will help you understand why our brains skip straight past obstacles when we plan — and how three simple insights can make any change actually hold.

Get involved:

⬇️ Download: 26 Science‑Backed Micro‑Habits You Can Try Next (Sleep, Movement, Mindfulness, Connection, Purpose — all under 60 seconds) https://thehappinesschallenge.co.uk/store

📘 Get the E‑book on habit formation: Build One Life‑Changing Habit in 10 Days (10 minutes/day + printable tools + reflection prompts) https://thehappinesschallenge.co.uk/store

🎟️ Join live: Join Klaudia on a live webinar: https://thehappinesschallenge.co.uk/webinars

📨 Subscribe to Klaudia's Substack newsletter for further insights and updates: https://thehappinesschallenge.substack.com/

📚 Grab a copy of The Alphabet of Happiness from Amazon, Guardian Bookshops, Blackwells, Waterstones, and more. https://thehappinesschallenge.co.uk/book

Hello, happiness seekers.

Welcome back.

I'm Claudia, work psychologist and certified chief happiness officer.

And this month we are exploring appreciative inquiry, the idea that instead of asking of what's wrong, we ask what's already working and how do I get more of it?

And in the episode 235, Adironke Bademosi Wilson introduced me to the concept of appreciative inquiry.

And in the last episode 236, I used the model of Discover, Dream Design and Destiny on something that I am genuinely working on and struggling with.

And it's my sleep.

So today I'm going to share my reflections about appreciative inquiry and also some interesting insights about the science of change that can complement this method.

So let's dive in.

So first of all, to say straight away that I really like the appreciative inquiry as an approach because it was something practical to change in my sleep routine.

I really felt that starting the question of when my sleep works and what's so different of those nights gave me more, really lots of good pointers that in the end of the day I need to move more.

That's what it, what's.

That's what it's about.

I need to relax my body more to be able to have a more peaceful sleep.

And I found that positive approach really powerful in that perspective, rather than like in the past, really sinking deeper into, I'm not sleeping, this is so frustrating.

I really don't know what to do.

Very clear pointers from that one question, what's different on a good night's sleep?

And because I was actually funnily in that headspace of appreciative inquiry, I even tried this approach with my friend who was complaining about her husband quite a bit.

And I asked her, okay, what's working in your marriage right now and what's so different when you are on the same page with each other?

And I could really see that she had this similar powerful response of shifting her perspective because sometimes we can really brushed over of the things that are already good, that are already working and we need to amplify them.

So I found the appreciative inquiry quite powerful from that positive perspective.

I like the design stage as well, when we're going from aspirational to practical because very quickly I was able to implement, okay, less caffeine, more movement, more wind out before bed, and even to go deeper into, okay, what can I do on a messy day, on a difficult day.

So I found it really useful as a tool.

It did improve all those Things did help me to improve my sleep to some extent.

Of course it's not as straightforward.

I still have nights when I really struggle to sleep.

But I felt that those, those insights that I gained from appreciative inquiry are giving me more good nights than I previously was experiencing.

So definitely great model.

But I also wanted to dive deeper into the science of change and what can we learn from such research to really complement this idea of appreciative inquiry.

So I have three interesting insights which I think are very powerful to then implement into whatever change to complement appreciative inquiry.

So the insight one is planning fallacy.

And then of course there has been research since then.

But the overall the finding is that when we are planning and we thinking about, okay, this is what I'm going to do, this is my plan, we instinctively assume that the plan is going to work straight away.

So like me, okay, I wrote all those things and I instinctively thought, okay, now it's sorted, I'm just going to have a good night's sleep, that's it, and a smooth week and everything is going to go according to the plan.

And it is a planning fallacy because of course that's not how life works.

Of course that's not how changes happen.

We need more time and planning fallacy actually to tell us to always think about any other obstacles in our environment and what, what things are not going according to the plan and how can we reduce those obstacles.

So for example, okay, in a situation when I couldn't move that day, what's then and what's actually cutting in my evenings, that is taking away a time from exercise for me to move.

Planning fallacy is really asking us to think, okay, imagine for a moment a worst case scenario.

Imagine for a moment the things that are a certain barriers in your environment that will not support the change.

How can you reduce those?

So I think that was really interesting and complementary to the positive approach of appreciative inquiry.

The insight tool is about implementation intention.

And again this comes to the idea that when we have our plan, we think we're going to stick to it because of our willpower, because this is good for me, this is important to me.

And then we don't, let's be honest, so it's really trying to think, okay, if this happens, then I will do this.

So it's really trying us to to have a clear intention what we going to go in advance when we are not going, when things are not going according to the plan.

And the research really showed that people who made even plans were significantly more likely to follow through with the routines because the decision gets made in advance in the calm moment rather than when we are under pressure.

So for example, for me it was like, if I don't manage to exercise, then I'm going to do my stretches in the evening, or if I'm still awake after 20 minutes in the middle of the night, I'm going to move to the sofa and I'm going to do some slow briefing and slow movement then before I go back to bed.

So again, rather than that willpower of I'm going to stick to all of this, I understand when I can't, there is another plan to follow and when I'm even sticking to my routine.

But things are not going according to the plan.

Again, I know how to follow through.

And the insight 3 is really how long habits actually take.

Because very quickly with my plan, I wrote it down.

I want this to happen straight away.

I want to already have that habit of a movement, of a window of less caffeine.

But again, that's not something that takes place right away.

They actually have shown that depending on complexity of habit, we can be forming habit anywhere from 18 days to 254 days.

And actually on average, with a similar complexity of a habit, it's probably around 60, 66 days for a new behavior to feel automatic.

That was their median.

So again, it just takes more time.

So for me to give up straight away because instantly I didn't have a good night, or instantly I failed to move, or instantly I actually had too much caffeine.

It's not beneficial.

It's about really understanding that it takes time and sticking with that and knowing that in advance.

I think it helps because our expectation of ourselves really goes down, that pressure goes down.

I hope that you have tried the 4D method with me in the last episode.

And I guess what I'm saying is think about those three different pieces of research, how they can help with that habit implementation.

Don't stop just at design or destiny in the appreciative, more appreciative inquiry think about is then plan for the moment when things don't go smoothly and give your permission for the habit to take longer than you think.

Think also about any other obstacles that are in the environment where you cannot stick to your hab.

How can you change those?

How can you influence those?

If you are overall interested in the science of change and about the science of habit formation, remember to check out my chapter in my book the Alphabet of Happiness on habits.

I dive deeper into lots of components of habit formation there.

If you're interested, you can read more about the Alphabet of Happiness on my website, the happinesschallenge.co.uk but as always, thank you so much for listening today.

I dare you to be happy and I see you.

See you next time.

Bye.