This sermon discusses the essence of godly leadership, emphasizing that it is no accident. Starting with the qualification of being above reproach, it delves into three critical aspects highlighted by Paul to Timothy in 1 Timothy 3: being a husband of one wife, being sober-minded, and being self-controlled. Drawing parallels to the 1986 Challenger disaster, the sermon illustrates the catastrophic potential of neglecting small but crucial details. By examining the importance of a faithful marriage, a vigilant life, and disciplined self-control, the speaker underscores intentionality as a foundational element in achieving godly leadership.

00:00 Introduction to Godly Leadership

00:46 The Challenger Disaster: A Lesson in Small Things

02:29 Three Essential Qualities of a Godly Leader

04:05 Exploring the First Quality: Husband of One Wife

08:05 Marriage as a Reflection of the Gospel

24:20 The Importance of Sober-Mindedness

25:32 Understanding Sober-Mindedness

26:10 Living with Intentionality

26:24 Biblical Insights on Sober-Mindedness

28:53 The Importance of Vigilance

30:10 A Personal Anecdote on Control

33:06 Discipline and Self-Control

39:41 Reflecting on Personal Growth

44:01 Living Life Well

45:27 Final Thoughts and Prayer

Godly leadership is, is no accident.

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We started last week with the idea that,

uh, last month rather, the idea that

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being a godly man, being a qualified

man starts with being above reproach.

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And we're gonna expand on that today.

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A lot of little things that make us the

kind of men that God can find useful.

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In fact, that's what Paul says to Timothy.

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He says, uh, in a, in a, in a great house,

there are many different kinds of vessels.

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Some for honorable use.

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Some for dishonorable and he says,

you ought to be Timothy, the kind

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of man that pursues honorable use.

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And he says the part, the way

that you do that is that you're

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set apart as holy, useful to the

master of the house and ready for

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every good work, useful set apart.

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Um, Paul encouraged Timothy to pursue

those ends as part of what it means

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to be a qualified and godly man.

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It got me thinking about a lot of little

things in our lives, and it started me

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on this track of what happened almost,

I don't know, 30, 40, 40 years ago.

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January 28th, 1986, seven astronauts

loaded into the space shuttle challenger,

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and they took off with success, but it

was only after 73 seconds in their flight

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that something catastrophic takes place.

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A small rubber o by small I mean

relative to the size of the spaceship.

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It was actually about 36 feet wide

in diameter, but it was in rubber.

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O-ring.

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Meant to secure the joints, seal

the joints from leaking any fuel

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into the combustion chamber.

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That rubber O joint started to

leak 73 seconds into their launch.

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And of course, the results of

that is exactly as you'd expect.

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All seven astronauts lost their

lives because of the failure

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of its rubber O-ring, which

was meant to seal the engine.

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Didn't work, didn't happen.

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That rubber O-ring was supposed to

seal and keep it safe and secure,

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but it failed because of the weather.

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The weather, it was too cold, and

so the seal didn't work properly.

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Little thing resulting

in massive catastrophe.

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And this was nationally televised.

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And so of course there was a, a great,

uh, there were shock waves and all

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throughout America saying, we can't

believe what we just saw on tv.

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We saw seven people lose

their lives, presumably.

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And of course they were right.

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The lesson for us is easy here.

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There's a, uh, uh, an easy

neglect of small things that

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we might be quick to overlook.

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We might say, well, the

big things are in place.

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The rockets are working,

and the space shuttle is, is

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sound and it's infrastructure.

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It's secure.

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Let's just launch a thing all the

while overlooking the little things

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that really make the big things work.

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We're gonna look at three little

things in First Timothy chapter.

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Three, three little things

that really will make a big.

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Difference in the totality of your life.

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These three little things you might be

quick to overlook, but Paul doesn't.

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He says, if you're gonna be a

godly leader, a qualified man, you

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have to have these three little

comparatively little things in place.

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Otherwise, if you're unintentional

with these things, if you overlook

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them, if you allow them to just be,

uh, glazed over, there's potential

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for catastrophe in your life.

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Three little things I wanna

point out to you today.

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Leadership is no accident.

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And these three little things are

gonna have to be something on your

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part that you take intentional strides

toward to say, I wanna do these things.

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Right.

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Let's read first Timothy three.

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We're gonna read the whole seven verses

here 'cause we haven't done that yet.

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But I wanna give you a gist of what's

happening here and hopefully help

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orient you to our three little things

that we're gonna talk about today.

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One Timothy chapter three,

starting at verse one.

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He says, this saying is trustworthy.

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This is a good saying that the

church should continue to say this

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is something that should be repeated.

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If anyone aspires, they

desire the office of overseer.

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Titus chapter one calls 'em elders.

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He desires a noble task.

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This is a good thing.

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We talked about this last week.

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Paul goes on to describe

the qualities of this man.

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He says, therefore, because he desires a

noble task, because this is God's church.

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God's enterprise and overseer

then must be above reproach.

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He must be the husband of one wife.

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And now let me just orient you here.

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As Paul unpacks these verses, everything

underneath what we're about to say

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here fits under the umbrella of above

reproach, therefore an overseer.

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Verse two must be above

reproach, which looks like this.

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He's the husband of one wife.

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First little thing.

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He is sober minded.

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Second little thing,

he is self-controlled.

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Third little thing.

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And of course there's several

more down the list here, but we're

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only gonna look at those three.

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Let's continue reading.

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He's respectable.

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He's esteemed in his community.

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He's hospitable.

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He welcomes people into his home.

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He loves people he's able to teach.

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This is uniquely, uh, this is

unique for the Office of Overseer.

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This is the unique for

the Office of Elder.

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He has to be able to say something

and to teach it clearly and also

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defend and protect the doctrine.

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That's what he's talking about here.

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He's not a drunkard, he

can't be given too much wine.

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He's not violent, but gentle.

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He is not ignatious, not

quick to fight with people.

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He's, he's gentle in his demeanor.

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Uh, he's not quarrelsome.

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Again, not quick to fight,

not a lover of money.

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He's not greedy.

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He must manage his own household

well with all dignity, keeping

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his children submissive.

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For if someone does not know how

to manage his own household, how

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will he care for God's church?

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Also, verse six, he must not be

a recent convert or he may become

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puffed up with conceit and fall

into the condemnation of the devil.

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The devil will be quick to capitalize

on someone's nascent faith who's

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catapulted into leadership quickly,

and he says, don't be quick to lay some

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lay hands on somebody if he is young.

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Uh, whether spiritually or uh,

age-wise, make sure that you're

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not gonna lay hands quickly.

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He'll, later on, say verse seven.

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Moreover, he must be well

thought of by outsiders.

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This is interesting.

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We'll get to this in a couple

weeks, a couple months.

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Uh, he'll say that your neighbors have

to have a good opinion of this guy.

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Uh, his coworkers have

to think well of him.

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He can't just be thought well of in the

church, as pastor PJ said recently in

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a sermon, anybody can be a Christian

for a couple hours on a Sunday.

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It takes a, a certain kind of man

with special graces to be a Christian

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all the time, such that people on,

on the outside outsiders look at

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him and say, he is well thought of.

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He's, he's not a liar, he is not

a thief, he's not an adulterer.

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Those kinds of things.

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And he says that so that he

may not fall into disgrace.

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A pastor doesn't want to

be disgrace in front of the

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congregation and to snare the devil.

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So there's first Timothy chapter three.

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If you were to look at it, um, if you

were to look at it syntactically, if

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you were to diagram it grammatically,

it might look something like this.

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Paul starts out with the renouncement.

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This is a trustworthy saying.

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Anyone aspires to this office?

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Noble task.

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It's a good thing.

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And then as I mentioned before,

everything underneath the above

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reproach, uh, sits right below that.

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So this is the kind of man he must be.

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Notice that the must is imperative.

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I I, I alluded to this the last

time we talked, but I didn't really

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capitalize on it the way I should

have that must is a divine must.

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It's the same must that Jesus uses

when he says, I must go to the cross.

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Same idea.

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So the weightiness of the

must here is important.

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These are the qualities of a man

and what he must be if he's going

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to be in the office or the, the

position of a pastor, an overseer.

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The characterization above reproach,

uh, I think grammatically fits

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all these things underneath it.

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They control the imperative there,

what an elder overseer must be.

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Okay.

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So now that we have our, our sense

of bearing here, I wanna point your

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attention again to the three things

that we want to pay attention to.

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The three things we wanna look at,

starting with the husband of one wife.

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This can be confusing because some

might think that this means, oh, he

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can't be, uh, he can't be divorced.

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Uh, it maybe means he can't

have a polygamous marriage.

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And certainly some of those things are

true, but I don't think Paul's goal

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here is to say whether he's polygamous

or not polygamous, or whether he's

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divorced or anything like that.

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Literally the word means a one woman man.

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He's a one woman man.

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He's faithful to the woman

God has entrusted to him.

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And this is also what

Titus says in first Titus.

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Chapter one, not first.

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Titus DTUs, chapter one, verse six.

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He's the husband of one wife.

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So both, uh, Timothy and Titus

have the same, the same wording

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about the role of this man.

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Now, remember, the office of overseer,

the pastor, the elder, the overseer, is

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called to be this, so that the men of

the church have an example to follow.

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This is exactly why

we're talking about this.

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This is not about whether all of

you are gonna join the pastorate.

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This is not all about you

guys joining seminary.

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This is about saying.

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This man is to be this way so

that you and I are all this way.

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This is what the church is supposed

to look like, the husband of one wife.

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So this man is to have

a faithful marriage.

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He, he's a one woman man, speaks to his

integrity, his commitments, and this

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is where we are called as Christians,

to live the kind of exemplary life

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that the culture sits up and takes

notice and say, this man treats his

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marriage and his wife differently than

how we see our culture, generally.

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Think about marriage.

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Exemplary.

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Now, this is meant to be

something standing out.

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Marriage is an important qualification

for at least two reasons.

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The first reason is that

marriage reveals the man.

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Marriage reveals us probably

like nothing else does.

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Because you're with

someone every day, all day.

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They see the best of you.

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They see the worst of you.

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They see the, the unguarded

moments of your life.

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And so marriage, uh, rightly

is used as a measurement.

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Notice that this is the first

thing Paul wants to look at.

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He says, Timothy, I want you

to look at, well in, at least

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in first Timothy chapter three.

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Now here too.

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Um, look, I want you to look first,

if you're gonna discuss whether

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or not a man is above approached,

I want you to look first at his

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marriage and look carefully at that.

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How does his marriage operate?

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If his marriage is operating the way

it should, then we would have reason

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to believe, oh, probably the rest of

his life is at least working in order.

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'cause he cares about the first things.

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First things first.

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Marriage reveals the man.

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In Ephesians chapter five,

Paul says to Timothy C or, uh.

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Ephesians chapter five.

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Yeah, this is Timothy actually.

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Ephesians chapter five, he

says, the church like you're

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supposed to men lead your wives.

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In fact, he tells his wife, tells the

wives there, submit to your husbands.

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In other words, men are leading.

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Men are leading, women are to follow.

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And then he says to the husband's,

husbands, love your wives.

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Does Christ love the church?

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He adds a really high bar for all of us.

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And the idea here is that your marriage

is meant to reflect Christ in the church.

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So not only does marriage reveal the

man, marriage reflects the gospel,

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those are two big reasons why marriage

has to be at the top of your list.

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When you think about whether a

man is qualified, whether a man is

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truly a one woman man, the hardest

place to be a Christian, the hardest

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place to be faithful is home.

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This is where your, your faith is

constantly tested, where little

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annoyances can become big stumbling

blocks in your marriage where it's

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evident that you're either walking by

grace or you're walking in the flesh.

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Your home, you're unguarded.

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There's someone, put it this way, there's

no other place where high expectations.

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Love your wife as Christ loved.

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The church meets a desire to be unplugged.

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Think about it, you're working all day.

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Or if you, if you, if you live

outside the or if you work outside

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the home, you're working all day and

then you come home and in your mind

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you're saying, man, I wanna rest.

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I've been working all day.

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I wanna just kinda let my guard down,

kick my feet up, watch the Mandy Griffith.

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But there's dishes to do and there's

kids to take care of and there's

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honeydew items to fulfill and all

these things that you have to do.

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There's no other place that's like it.

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You can be a Christian in a lot of venues.

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But if you miss it at home, I think

Paul here says that you're missing

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what it means to be above reproach.

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Two reasons why he looks at this.

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Again, marriage reveals the man

more than anything else, and also

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marriage reflects the gospel.

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Your marriage is meant to be a

picture of Christ's relationship

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with his church, which means

your marriage is bigger than you.

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Your marriage exists as one way

that God speaks to the world.

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Your marriage is a sermon.

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That's meant to be heard

by a watching world.

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Your neighbor should hear the

sermon that your marriage preaches.

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Your kids should hear the sermon

that your marriage preaches.

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The world is meant to see a reflection,

however faint it may be of the gospel.

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The question is not whether your

marriage reflects the gospel.

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The question is whether it's a good

reflection or a bad reflection,

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which is again, why Paul's gonna say,

make sure the man is above reproach.

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And by the way, let's first look at

where he, where, where his marriage

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is, how's his marriage going?

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Your marriage is a picture of Christ's

relationship with this church, and

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every marriage is whether good or bad.

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Marriage reflects the man

Marriage, reflects the gospel.

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It reflects the man and, uh, reveals

the man rather and reflects the gospel.

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There's also a, an important text.

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I want you, I want you to turn there.

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This is an important one.

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Hebrews 13, four.

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On the heels of this, the reason this is

such an important feature in the church

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life and a feature of ma male leadership.

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Is because Paul wants the whole

church to have a kind of opinion about

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the, about the church that is high.

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We talk about having a high view of God

and part of having a high view of God.

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It means having a high view of the

things that he has a high view about.

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And we'll notice here in Hebrews

chapter 13 verse four, that one

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of the things that we should have

a high view about is marriage.

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Take a look at Hebrews 13, verse four,

and it says this, let marriage be held

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in honor among everybody in the church.

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Everybody, all, all people.

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And let the marriage bed be

undefiled for God will judge the

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sexually immoral and adulterous.

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And so even though the reason is

different here, he's saying God's gonna

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judge the church, especially those who

are sexually immoral and adulterous.

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But his goal is that marriage

be esteemed held high.

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Let it be held in honor.

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Let it be exalted.

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Let it be something that people

say, this is exceptionally valuable.

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Let it be respected.

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Let it be a cultural institution, both

in the church and outside the church,

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that people say this is a good thing.

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When it comes to the kind of intentional

leadership that God calls you to, part of

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your intentional leadership means being

an intentional husband who intentionally

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respects and honors his wife.

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And the reason why is because

we respect and honor marriage.

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Why, again, reveals you and it

reflects the gospel point number one.

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I want you to be deliberate about this.

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I want you to deliberately display

great respect for marriage, to have

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the kind of opinion of marriage, the

kind of approach to marriage that

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says, man, I am, I esteem marriage.

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I value this institution.

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It's so valuable that God has decided

to attach the gospel to your marriage

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and to marriage as a whole, which is

why it's so esteemed in our culture,

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at least within our church culture.

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It should be.

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What's interesting is that we all

have this way of going about life

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where we think that our normal

is normative for everybody else.

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I recently got new glasses, you guys

might see me wear them more often.

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These glasses are, are, are a

correction from my astigmatism.

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I got used to seeing things a little

blurry and so, you know, you could

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look at certain things or people

and, and you could look, I dunno,

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I like, I'd like people watching.

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It's kind of my thing.

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I, you know, you go to the, you go

to the mall or you go to the airport.

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I just kind of watch people.

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I find people fascinating.

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I now realize that they could

probably see me very clearly.

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I was looking at them and they're

like, why is this guy looking at me?

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I think they're far enough away where

like they probably can't even tell

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that I'm looking at them 'cause it's,

I, they're kind of blurry to me.

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But my blurry doesn't

mean that they're blurry.

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They could, what if they have perfect

vision and they notice that I'm

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staring at them and now we have a

really weird situation happening.

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Why is this guy looking at me?

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Yeah, my normal was not their

normal, at least presumably your

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normal is not everyone's normal.

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And that's what's interesting

because now we all have to say,

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okay, what is supposed to be normal?

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I grew up in a pretty, I grew up in

a family that I thought was normal.

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I thought it was normal for,

for moms and dads to fight.

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I thought it was normal

for there to be yelling.

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I thought it was normal for a dad to bang

on the wall and for a, a mom to be crying.

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There was not domestic violence in

the strictest sense, but there was

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a really tumultuous upbringing.

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I didn't know it.

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I didn't know any better.

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I went to, I went to all the things

school and went and did my thing, not

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realizing how abnormal my life was.

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It really wasn't until I made my way into

the church and began to be surrounded

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by people like yourselves who taught me

that things are supposed to be different.

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And in fact, I, I, I started thinking

about all the people that God used

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to draw me away from what I thought

was normal into a new normal.

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I remember Jack and Theresa

Angel, a godly man and a God

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that woman married for decades.

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I talked about Jack before, but him

and his wife, I mean, they were just

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faithful, faithful people to attend

the church, faithful to do their thing.

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They were always there, always

smiling, always taking care of people.

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Calvin and Brenda, Kelly, another

couple that God used these.

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In fact, these people adopted my

brother and myself, not in a literal

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sense, but they took us over.

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They drove us to church, drove us

home for church, took us to lunch

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after church, and they began to

teach us a new normal by their life.

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And I, I realized.

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My life is not the way

things are supposed to be.

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Don and Debbie Metcalf, I could

talk about more couples and more men

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that have showed me a new normal.

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Part of what they showed me is

that marriage is something special.

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Family is something special.

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Family is something good.

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Their abnormality in my mind, rev

was abnormal for all the right

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reasons and so should it be about

your life and your marriage.

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Your life should be abnormal in our

culture, your marriage, your life.

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Even if you're not a married

man, I re recognize that some

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of you're not married in here.

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I'll get to you in a second.

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Your faithfulness to your

wife and to the institution of

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marriage ought to look different.

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It ought to look like you're doing

something out of the norm on purpose.

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And that's my goal here on purpose.

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A lot of you guys are faithful men.

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I get that you guys are faithfully

married to your wives and you're

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doing what you should be doing.

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You're not going around sleeping

around or doing things like that.

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But I wanna take it a step further

and say, how does a church, how does a

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church properly exalt this institution?

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Faithfulness is a good start, but I don't

think it's the finish line by any stretch.

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We ought to be different in our approach,

which is also gonna have implications

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for single men, because if you're

a one woman man, if you're faithful

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to marriages, that means that you're

protecting and guarding marriage.

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Even in your singleness, you're thinking

about, I don't want to even get close

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to the line of, of soling the gospel

by, so what marriage is, I want to

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be sure that I'm treating marriage in

a respectful way, and you could just

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look at our culture and find lots of

reasons why it wouldn't be that way.

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We could talk about porn use, we could

talk about the way that men can, can

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automatically gaze at the female figure.

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Those are ways that we could

dishonor marriage easily, right?

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We're we're saying that we're not

one woman men, and in fact, that's

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probably a disqualifying event.

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If a man is com if a man is in any

way, uh, addicted to pornography,

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probably not fit for ministry.

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He's not able to serve in that

capacity 'cause he's living a

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life of unfaithfulness, violating

the one woman man qualification.

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Again, he must be this thing, but again,

he leads in that way because this is

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what the church is supposed to be.

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One woman, men who are not given

to pornography, addiction, or

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even looking at the female gaze.

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Remember, years ago, one of the first

books I read in high school was, uh.

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Every man's battle, and you guys

read that book, they taught me

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that one of the things that a man

should do when he sees an attractive

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figure is to bounce the eyes.

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I remember highlighting that, remembering

that specifically bounce the eyes.

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And what you're doing is training

yourself not to allow even a hint

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of lust to penetrate the heart,

because we know how quickly that can

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erupt deliberately displaying great

respect for marriage means more than

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just being faithful to your wife.

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It means conducting yourself

in a way inside the home and

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outside the home that showcases.

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I'm not about what you guys are about

the world that is, I'm about my wife.

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I'm about Christ Church and his glory.

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It starts with your marriage.

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Think about the way that

Christ pursues his church.

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Is there ever a time where you

could say, oh, Christ has let

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the gas off, doesn't care about

his church as much as he used to.

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And of course it's absurd.

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He pursues us day in, day out.

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He pursues us in the way that he serves us

through His word serves us in the church.

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He serves us through worship.

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Christ pursues us.

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We know what it's like to pursue

our wives before marriage.

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I wonder if you're still

pursuing your wife post-marriage.

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This is a way that we display

great respect for marriage.

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We show great respect for God and

his gospel, by the way that we say,

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I'm setting a deliberate example

to pursue my bride, and I can look

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like a lot of different areas.

429

Pastor PJ often talks about dating

your wife and and doing things with

430

her and for her, and that's great.

431

That's great.

432

What I wanna encourage you to do is to

be purposeful in the demonstration of

433

your faithfulness, purposeful in the

demonstration of your faithfulness.

434

Here's what I mean by that.

435

O One of the things that I, I think

would be good for you to show your

436

kids, to show the church is how much

you are committed to your bride.

437

Show them on purpose, intentionally,

deliberately displaying

438

great respect for marriage.

439

That will mean that you, I mean,

I don't wanna put 'em on blast.

440

You're just gonna be embarrassed

that I bring it up and I'm

441

gonna bring it up anyway.

442

One of the things that I often see as I

prepare for leading worship is that David

443

will take Priscilla and he'll find a

place with her, and he'll, he'll pray with

444

her before they start leading worship.

445

Just sit with her and he'll pray.

446

That, that's intentional.

447

It's not an accident.

448

He's not accidentally,

oh, hey, let's pray.

449

I guess we're here.

450

You're here.

451

I'm here.

452

Let's pray together.

453

He, he purposefully takes

time to pray with his spouse.

454

I think what a, what a beautiful display

of what it looks like to lead your bride

455

and deliberately in a way, and it's

in front of people, not all the time.

456

He's not trying to be

ostentatious about it.

457

You understand?

458

But he's just doing it.

459

I think that's the kind of

mentality a godly man has.

460

He's intentional about displaying

his love for his bride.

461

Something as simple as holding her hand,

pursuing her physically, obviously.

462

Not that physically in public,

but pursuing her physically and,

463

and telling her what you think

about her and communicating

464

your verbal affection for her.

465

These are all areas that I, I know

that we struggle with, but it's such

466

a good thing for you to practice such

a good thing for your kids to see.

467

I I, I wanna set an example for my

kids where they see me pursue their,

468

their, their, their mother all the time.

469

I want them to say, Ew.

470

I want them to recognize that I love

their wife, their mother, rather.

471

I love their wives.

472

I love their mother more than

I can, than words can say.

473

I also want them to see that I love

their mother more than I love them.

474

My commitment is to her first.

475

I love them, but I love her first.

476

She's my first commitment.

477

I would love for you to demonstrate

your commitment to her, your

478

wife, in public, and in private.

479

Think about the way that your, your kids

are gonna see you interact with her.

480

They're gonna see your life as normative.

481

Just how we started this conversation.

482

They're gonna see your

example as normative.

483

This is the way things are supposed to be.

484

So you're not just loving your wife

for her sake and for the gospel's sake.

485

You're loving your wife for your kid's

sake and your future grandkid's sake.

486

Your grandkids are gonna benefit

from the way that you loved

487

your wife or adversely suffer,

488

extends your church.

489

I want you to imagine a church of

men who are pursuing their women.

490

Fastidiously.

491

They do it in a way

that's obvious, evident.

492

Think about men that are setting a

deliberate example to say, I wanna

493

display my commitment to my bride.

494

I mean, we talk about cultural displays.

495

Obviously you wear a wedding ring,

hopefully keep that on all the time.

496

You're not taking that off, but

you wear a wedding ring to display

497

your commitment to somebody else.

498

But I want you to display

your physical affection.

499

I want you to be deliberate

to say, my wife matters to me.

500

She's my wife.

501

I wanna sit next to her

when I have the opportunity.

502

I wanna hold her hand.

503

I wanna put my arm around her.

504

I want to display to my

wife, my kids, my church.

505

I love this woman.

506

He who finds a wife finds a good thing

Scripture says, and I want you to let

507

your wife know that you know that.

508

Why?

509

Well, because ultimately, it's

a reflection of your character

510

and it's a reflection and

representation of the gospel.

511

I care about my marriage

because I care about the gospel.

512

And maybe in your mind that

that could go the other way.

513

I care about the gospel.

514

Because they care about my marriage.

515

But I want you to say, man,

the gospel is so important.

516

Jesus lordship and leadership in my

life is so important that I gotta make

517

sure that I am protecting my wife.

518

I'm protecting my marriage, I'm respecting

it, and I'm showing it on purpose.

519

I want the world to see

that I love my wife.

520

Extends to the church, starts

in your family, starts with your

521

marriage, um, in your, in your

small groups today, and perhaps even

522

on as a regular concern of yours.

523

I think you should start to ask your

brothers, how's your marriage going?

524

I know it's a, a sensitive

question, but it's something that

525

you guys should constantly say.

526

Now, I, I care about my brothers.

527

I know how quickly things can dissolve.

528

It doesn't take a lot of thinking

to say, when can I imagine

529

a marriage not going well?

530

Sure.

531

You have examples that you can

readily think about, that you

532

can count on your hand right now.

533

This is struggling.

534

This is struggling.

535

This is struggling.

536

Protect marriage.

537

Hold it in high esteem.

538

It's what it means to

be a man above reproach.

539

You're a one woman man, but that means

you're also guarding the institution

540

of marriage because of what it

represents and what it reflects.

541

Malachi chapter two, uh, God says

to Israel, look, I, I wanted you to

542

have faithful marriages so that you

could produce God the offspring.

543

Be faithful.

544

Don't cover your garment with violence.

545

That's the first small thing,

not that small after all is it.

546

First small thing is to guard

and protect and display great

547

respect for your marriage.

548

But Paul carries on.

549

There's another small thing

that I want you to see.

550

That's something that

we can easily overlook.

551

Take a look with me at one Timothy

chapter three, intentional about marriage.

552

Here's another thing to

be intentional about.

553

One Timothy chapter three.

554

Let's start at verse one.

555

Just to get the gist here.

556

The saying is trustworthy.

557

If anyone aspires to the office of

overseer, he desires a noble task.

558

Therefore, an overseer

must be above reproach.

559

He must be the husband of one wife.

560

He must be sober minded.

561

He must be a sober minded man.

562

This word, uh, this word appears three

times, and two of those times are found

563

here in one Timothy chapter three.

564

It's found once in Titus chapter two.

565

Um.

566

And here, uh, and, and here

and in, uh, let me show you the

567

other one, one Timothy three 11.

568

Uh, here it's applied to the, the

deacon's wives or the deacon nesses.

569

So, so mindness, as we see again, is

not only a qualification of the elder,

570

it, the pastorate, but it's also a

qualification for the people of the

571

church who are serving and leading.

572

Notice here, the deacons, those

who are serving the church or their

573

wives are called to be sober minded.

574

This, this, again, tells us these

qualifications are meant to be

575

normative in the life of the church.

576

Sober minded here, then.

577

Oh, lemme show you Titus chapter two.

578

Here's another one, Titus Chapter two.

579

Who else is supposed to be sober minded?

580

Look at this.

581

The older men.

582

Older men are to be sober minded.

583

And also, later on we're

gonna see self controlled.

584

Those are both the same words that we're

gonna see in one Timothy chapter three.

585

Sober minded and self controlled.

586

I.

587

Focus on sober minded for a second here.

588

It means to be restrained in conduct,

sober minded, restrained in conduct,

589

self-controlled, level-headed.

590

The word balance kind of

comes to the fore here.

591

Someone who's balanced in

their approach to life.

592

They're not extreme either

on the left or the right.

593

I'm not making a political statements.

594

They're not extreme in

their personalities.

595

Again, they're not alistic, and

so they're kind of calibrated.

596

They're able to navigate life

with a sober sense of who they

597

are and what they're about.

598

They're not easily frustrated.

599

They act in a restrained manner.

600

Someone cuts 'em off.

601

They're not flying off the handle.

602

Someone says something offensive to them.

603

They're not quick to take offense.

604

They're just, they're subdued.

605

They're not subdued because

they're passive men.

606

You understand?

607

They're subdued because

they're deliberate men.

608

They're intentional.

609

They're unwilling to lose control

because they know what's at stake.

610

It's a small thing that

has major implications.

611

They don't want to have their life

wrecked because of their lack of

612

self-control or self restraint.

613

Sober minded speaks to the way

they think about themselves

614

and the world around them.

615

They're restrained in their understanding.

616

They're restrained in

their approach to life.

617

They're not given to excess.

618

Um, it also speaks about the way that

they think about their whole life.

619

In fact, I couldn't help but think

about Ephesians chapter five, when

620

it comes to a sober minded man.

621

I think Ephesians five

really encapsulates the idea.

622

Here's what it says.

623

Ephesians chapter five,

starting at verse 15.

624

The words look carefully are so important.

625

Um.

626

It talks to the, it's a

careful, thoughtful, focused

627

attention to how I live my life.

628

The word for walk peo often

used in scripture to talk

629

about the way that you live.

630

So the way that you walk,

the way that you live.

631

Paul says, be very careful about the

way that you allow yourself to live.

632

Look carefully, pay attention,

be, I like the word the new King

633

James, puts it as be circumspect.

634

I'm looking around to make sure

that how I'm living, how I'm walking

635

is fitting to my station in life

and to my call in the gospel.

636

So he says, look carefully.

637

How you walk given your

station, given your position.

638

Be careful, think carefully

about how you walk.

639

Not as an unwise man, but an a wise

man making the best use of the time.

640

Notice he's saying, I want you to

capitalize on the season because

641

of what's of what's true about you.

642

You're a Christian.

643

You've been saved by grace through faith.

644

Therefore, be careful about how

you walk and make the best use of

645

this season of life that you have.

646

'cause the days are evil.

647

The world is against you and therefore,

don't be foolish, but understand

648

what the will of the Lord is.

649

In other words, you have a,

you have a choice to make.

650

Here you can choose to be foolish and

live in blissful ignorance, or you can

651

understand what the will of the Lord is.

652

It's up to you.

653

You get to make a decision here.

654

Don't get drunk with wine.

655

See how I'm making the connection?

656

We have a connection about

drunkenness and, and sober mindedness.

657

Don't get drunk with wine.

658

For that is debauchery, but instead

of being controlled by the, by the by

659

the intoxicating effects of alcohol

be filled and controlled by the

660

intoxicating effects of the spirit.

661

Of course you're not gonna be staggering.

662

You're not gonna be slurring your words.

663

The effect of the spirit is self-control,

sober mindedness be filled with the

664

spirit such that he controls the way

that you think, the way that you live.

665

What's that gonna look like?

666

Well, verse 19, addressing one

another in psalms and hymns and

667

spiritual songs, or singing and making

melody to the Lord with your heart.

668

They're always giving thanks, not

complaining for uh, and for everything

669

to God the Father, in the name of our

Lord Jesus Christ, the kind of effect

670

that the Spirit has on a man, possessed

by him is a man who's controlled.

671

He's still reminded, he's often thankful.

672

He's often so filled with joy that

he's singing and making melody.

673

He can't stop the guy because

he's constantly thankful

674

about his station in life.

675

He's thinking about what God has done

and consequently the rest of his life,

676

he's thinking he's being delivered about.

677

I'm thanking God for what I'm about.

678

I thank God I'm gonna go to Men's

Bible, so I'm gonna thank God

679

that I get to be around these men.

680

What a great privilege and a blessing.

681

This man is vigilant about his life.

682

He's not, he's, again, he's not

accidentally falling into godliness.

683

A godly man doesn't accidentally

fall into a devoted life.

684

No, he's vigilant about this.

685

He looks carefully.

686

Point number two, if you're gonna do

the same, I want you to vigilantly.

687

Think about your life vigilance,

that word I was trying to find the

688

most aggressive word I could use

to say, men, think about your life.

689

Think about the moments in

the minutes that you have.

690

Think, just be, be the kind of

guy that says, I'm gonna take

691

a step back and just reflect.

692

How am I doing?

693

How did that conversation go?

694

How did I do at the table today?

695

Was I loving my brothers?

696

Did I give him adequate attention?

697

Was I being selfish?

698

Was I talking too much?

699

Was I talking too little?

700

It, it's kind of like the, the,

I don't know, when you're wearing

701

a dress shirt and you tuck it in,

sometimes I have these certain

702

shirts that just keep on coming out.

703

No matter what I do, I, I

just have to keep an eye on.

704

I just keep tucking it back in again

and do the, in a private place where no

705

one's looking to try to quickly tuck it

back in and be, be, uh, subtle about it.

706

But no matter how much I tuck it,

it keeps on untucking one of those

707

problems that we have in the, in the.

708

In the 2025, although there

are solutions to that, uh,

709

I'll tell you about that later.

710

Not important.

711

Um, tucking in a shirt that keeps

tucking at you, you just have to

712

pay constant attention to that.

713

Be vigilant.

714

Can't let your guard down.

715

Otherwise, the shirt just comes

and tucked and looked like a slot.

716

Several years ago, I went, I went

horseback riding in Norco in California.

717

Before I left, I thought what

a romantic gesture for me to

718

take my wife horseback riding.

719

And it certainly was great.

720

We went to this ranch, uh, uh,

next to the Santa Ana River.

721

So I thought it was perfect.

722

Uh, we get to the ranch and at that point

I was a little heavier than I was now.

723

And, and so the, the, the attendant

looks at me and says, oh, that's

724

not a pleasant starting place.

725

Oh.

726

Starts looking at their horses and says,

okay, I better, I'll be right back.

727

I need toll.

728

Get the big horse, whatever buddy.

729

I think it was actually a woman.

730

But anyway, she goes, she comes back

with this horse, and I can't remember

731

the horse's name, but I do know the

horse was not named like docile.

732

Uh, he wasn't named Peaceful.

733

It was named like, I don't know,

something like ferocious or something.

734

Okay.

735

So I get this really aggressive

horse who's really strong.

736

I was, oh great.

737

I'm not gonna fall off the horse.

738

Probably he's not gonna drop me.

739

And Kristen gets his basically

pony looking horse, this

740

really chill, laid back horse.

741

I'm on this big horse

'cause I was a bigger guy.

742

And so the way they do it, they lead you.

743

She's leading the pack and then

Kristen's right ahead of me

744

and I'm in, I'm in the caboose.

745

While sometime near the Santa Ana

river, as we're making our way through,

746

I'm taking all the pictures I can and

enjoying the scenery, and it was awesome.

747

It was one of the best times

in my life, but my horse just

748

started getting kind of cranky.

749

He just starts kind of bucking here

and bucking there, and it's just

750

this moving and then he just gets

his wild desire to start sprinting.

751

So I, I don't know what I'm doing.

752

I'm gonna, this is the first

time I've ever ridden a horse.

753

Well, second, the first time it

was one of the pony photos where

754

you take a picture on the pony.

755

So the second time I've been on a

horse, this guy just starts bucking

756

it, and I'm sure he's not full speed.

757

I, 'cause I don't, I'm sure this

guy could run much faster, but

758

he was going, I was terrified.

759

This guy is moving.

760

He's gotta be 600 pounds.

761

I don't know how he's a big horse.

762

He's just moving my, uh, my, my

trainer, my leader, she gallops up to

763

me and starts talking to the horse.

764

Like she's trying to reason

with the guy like it's a horse.

765

Slow down.

766

Bloody your shoes.

767

I'm like, one of those things ineffective.

768

Try harder.

769

I kid you not, she says just let

him get it out of his system.

770

What do you mean I'm about to die?

771

I, I'm ging, I'm trying to

keep on the horse terrified.

772

I'm running ahead of everybody.

773

I I'm losing it 'cause I'm

thinking this guy's gonna kill me.

774

I'm gonna die.

775

It's gonna be the Christopher

Reeve situation all over again.

776

I was not looking forward to it.

777

I was holding on for dear life.

778

She said, pull back on the reins.

779

I'm like, what do you think

I've been doing this whole time?

780

I mean, pulling, he is not responding

even with the bit in his mouth and

781

the, and the halter on his face.

782

He was just going for it.

783

Eventually, for whatever reason,

he decides he wants to slow down.

784

This guy just slowed down.

785

My heart stopped racing,

and then I enjoyed the last,

786

I don't know, 10 minutes.

787

The guy just sped through

the whole, the whole track.

788

Uh, she said later on, he was just,

he was, he didn't want to, he didn't

789

want to go on the trail again.

790

He was bored of the trail.

791

He wanted to get it over

with, so he sped it up.

792

Thanks guy.

793

Appreciate that.

794

One of the problems with our

flesh is that like the horse,

795

it can just get out of control.

796

Our flesh can just kind of rr start

going, and you might be trying to pull

797

on the reins and pull on the halter and

do everything you can to bid it, uh,

798

to, to move the bit in your direction.

799

But sometimes our flesh is

unwilling to cooperate with us.

800

Your job is to not let

it get to that point.

801

My mistake when I rode that horse

is I wasn't even paying attention.

802

I wasn't thinking that the horse

is gonna go into full gallop.

803

I'm just trying to enjoy the scenery.

804

I'm looking at the Santa Ana River.

805

I'm saying this is amazing.

806

I'm with my wife, I'm with the horses.

807

This is wonderful.

808

Wasn't paying attention.

809

And so even though I had my hands on

the reins, I was pretty loose about it.

810

And so when he started to

gallop, I was caught off guard.

811

And I, now I'm, I'm

reacting to his acting.

812

And so now I'm unprepared.

813

And so I'm trying to get a hold

of the horse after the fact.

814

That was the problem.

815

I wasn't ready.

816

I wasn't ready to slow him down

when he throw any signs of getting

817

ready to gallop outta my control.

818

The same thing is true with your flesh.

819

You need to make sure that you're

always on top of your life, observing

820

and being suspicious in a healthy

way of your flesh and saying, I don't

821

wanna let this thing get outta control.

822

I like the way Paul puts it

in one Corinthians 9 27 in the

823

LSB, he says, I disciplined my

body and I make it my slave.

824

My body is my slave, not my master.

825

My appetites might say, Hey, I want food.

826

I want water.

827

I want this.

828

I want sleep.

829

No, you're not my master.

830

I'm the master.

831

I will tell you when you will get rest.

832

I will give you though, go ahead.

833

I'm paying attention though.

834

I'm making my body my slave.

835

One Timothy four 16.

836

Paul says this to Timothy.

837

He says, keep a close watch on your life.

838

Pay close attention to your life.

839

He'll also say, and on the teaching,

but he wants you to pay close

840

attention to what your life is.

841

To what you're doing with your time,

to what you're doing, with your words,

842

to what you're doing, with your energy.

843

Keep a close watch on yourself.

844

This means, man, that we have

to be vigilant about the way

845

that we look at our lives.

846

This is what it means to be sober minded.

847

I'm constantly alert.

848

I'm constantly paying close attention

to what I'm, what I'm doing in my life.

849

I'm observing and I'm evaluating.

850

I'm developing a healthy

suspicion about my inclinations.

851

Uh, does that make sense?

852

Healthy suspicion.

853

I've, I've talked about this

before when we talked about being

854

watchful, but it's so important.

855

Psalm 1 39.

856

David prays this.

857

He says, search me oh

God, and know my heart.

858

This is the posture of a sober minded man.

859

He's saying, search me

God and know my heart.

860

Try me and know my thoughts and see if

there be an to be any grievous way in me,

861

and lead me in the way of everlasting.

862

He's asking God, expose my heart.

863

Show me me so that I'm not

self-deceived, so that my horse

864

doesn't get outta control.

865

I don't wanna be surprised

when I fall in sin.

866

I want to know circumspectly.

867

Oh, if I allow myself to do this,

and this is the, this is the

868

inevitable end of that, so I'm

not gonna allow myself to do that.

869

I'm not gonna allow myself

to get outta control.

870

Search me in Noo.

871

God.

872

A sober minded man is constantly

vigilantly looking at his life,

873

looking at his marriage, looking at

his parenting, looking at his serving,

874

looking at his Bible, reading his,

his devotional life with the Lord.

875

He's vigilantly, guarding and searching.

876

How am I doing?

877

How's this going?

878

Is there anything in my life, any

habits that I have that are gonna

879

lead me in the wrong direction

or be a disservice to my family?

880

Or a disservice to my church or

a disservice to anyone that I,

881

I'm called to love vigilantly.

882

Think about your life vigilance.

883

Oh, man, there's so much more

to say about this, but let's

884

just leave it with this here.

885

It, it's like weeding your, your lawn.

886

You see one, you see one weed.

887

Easy to go and pick it up.

888

Pull it out.

889

It's also easy to leave it alone, right?

890

It's easy to say.

891

Well, I'll get to that later.

892

Next thing you know, day two,

there's three weeds there.

893

Day five, there's 30 weeds there.

894

Day six or Hal is weeds.

895

I've seen some of my neighbors, they have

their whole lawn covered, covered with

896

weeds and thought, how did it get there?

897

It started with one.

898

One weed showed up one day and they just

thought, well, I'll get to it eventually.

899

Don't allow your life to grow in weeds.

900

It's better to kill sin in

infancy rather than to wait till

901

it's strong enough to kill you.

902

So a reminded reflection allows you

to, to see what's happening and to kill

903

sin in your life before it kills you.

904

Qualified leaders are intentional leaders.

905

Qualified men are intentional men.

906

That's what we're calling ourselves to.

907

Okay.

908

Beyond sober mindedness.

909

We have one more small thing to look at.

910

Take a look with me at one Timothy

chapter three, starting at verse two.

911

Actually, let's do it at verse one again.

912

No.

913

Verse two is good.

914

Therefore, an overseer

must be above reproach.

915

He's the husband of one wife.

916

He's still reminded, he's self controlled.

917

Titus chapter one, verse eight

also says the same thing.

918

It's self control.

919

So there's the corresponding

section here, self controlled,

920

something we've talked about before.

921

This is to be literally control

over, control over yourself.

922

Uh, someone who's prudent,

someone who's thoughtful.

923

Um, this, this word is used.

924

The ATI form is used four times in Titus

and Timothy, two times in our passage.

925

And once regarding older men.

926

We saw this earlier.

927

And also one time regarding young women.

928

So this ATI of form of the word for

self-control appears four times we

929

see it, all of them in the pastoral

epistles, which is interesting.

930

Self-control.

931

This is something we've talked about.

932

It has lots of overlap with

everything that we're saying.

933

So let's just understand here

that self-control is something

934

that you should exemplify for your

family's sake, for the sake of the

935

gospel, for the sake of Christ.

936

Qualified leaders are intentional

leaders and therefore they

937

intentionally grow in self-control.

938

No one accidentally becomes more

godly in this category unless you

939

point number three, induce it.

940

Induce, that's a very specific word.

941

I chose that on purpose, induce it.

942

Maybe you, you maybe your

wife, like mine had a baby.

943

They had to induce the labor.

944

We got to the hospital, long Beach

Memorial with Jacob ready to pop out.

945

She's already, she's ready to go.

946

She's having contractions.

947

But as we're sitting there, long

Beach Memorial, I, I don't know

948

if they're renting a hospital or

if they're renting, uh, a farm.

949

They're trying to get us through quickly.

950

So they're like, you know,

this is going too slow.

951

We're gonna induce you with some Pitocin.

952

They put some Pitocin in the iv,

dripped it into her veins, and

953

suddenly she is contracting like

she's never contracted before.

954

Boom, boom, boom.

955

Just ready to shoot the thing out.

956

Jacob makes his way out in

record time and it was amazing.

957

What was interesting is that

even though these, she, she says,

958

reflecting on the event, this was

some of the most painful experiences

959

she's ever had having, having a baby.

960

Uh, but the Pitocin, I took

it to 11 and Pitocin just.

961

I respect it.

962

I don't wanna do that.

963

Maybe your spiritual

life needs some Pitocin.

964

Maybe you need to induce some

contracting so that you grow in

965

spiritual and spiritual maturity

and particularly self-control.

966

I.

967

Uh, I would love for you to think

about the way that your life is going.

968

Again, sober minded reflection allows you

to say, okay, now, Lord, now that I see

969

what my life is doing, how I'm living,

where can I take control by the power of

970

the spirit to see a better outcome, to

grow in godliness, to grow in maturity.

971

I alluded this when I got on that horse.

972

I was in the ballpark at 2 50, 2 60.

973

That's a lot of weight.

974

It's a big dude, several years

and just between us here.

975

Several years of my life, I

really wrestled with my weight.

976

Really.

977

I still, I still wrestle with it.

978

I think about it all the time.

979

Not because I'm vain, but because I know

it's such an evident part of my godliness.

980

Evident in a positive way,

or evident in a negative way.

981

The height of my weight.

982

I was two 60, somewhere in that ballpark

and, and when I was riding the horse, and

983

then she's like, oh, big boy, big horse.

984

I was ashamed and I was embarrassed.

985

Wasn't ashamed and embarrassed

enough to really do a lot yet.

986

But it got me thinking, okay, why

should I exercise self-control

987

over this part of my life?

988

And I wrote some stuff down

in my journal at this point.

989

Lemme lemme just read a couple

items of things that I wrote down

990

the why I thought it was important.

991

Um, I, I, I, if I did this, if I lost

weight, I would have more energy.

992

Losing weight will allow my

body to regularly have more

993

energy for the day's tasks.

994

Second, I put number two,

glorify God on my body.

995

One Corinthians six, 19 and 20, I quoted

that there and I said, it's important

996

to know that the context is sexual

morality here, but I am in the same way.

997

Property of the Lord Jesus.

998

My body is not to be used for the

sin of gluttony or sexual morality,

999

but for him, I put live for my boys.

00:40:52,830 --> 00:40:53,730

Um, and I put stuff there.

00:40:53,730 --> 00:40:55,920

I wanna live to, to, to serve

my boys without have any girls.

00:40:55,920 --> 00:40:58,200

At that point, I wanna

honor Kristen with my body.

00:40:58,650 --> 00:41:00,900

Um, here's something I

put again between us.

00:41:01,140 --> 00:41:02,190

I put, this is shameful.

00:41:02,520 --> 00:41:04,500

Kristen married me nearly

a hundred pounds ago.

00:41:04,800 --> 00:41:05,850

This is unloving of me.

00:41:06,060 --> 00:41:08,640

She married me with a certain physical

appearance and it's almost as if I

00:41:08,640 --> 00:41:11,400

tricked her and now letting her, letting

my true fat and lazy man come out.

00:41:12,090 --> 00:41:12,779

This cannot be.

00:41:13,665 --> 00:41:16,905

Um, that's what I wrote to

me inside, into my head.

00:41:18,015 --> 00:41:20,955

Uh, be physically healthy and

therefore better able to serve others.

00:41:23,325 --> 00:41:26,715

Uh, I I put here, I can assume easily

that my physical health will have an

00:41:26,715 --> 00:41:28,335

impact on my spiritual health as well.

00:41:29,385 --> 00:41:30,645

Fun fact, I found that to be true.

00:41:31,815 --> 00:41:35,685

Be an example to everyone that sin

is to be fought in all areas of life.

00:41:36,765 --> 00:41:37,395

Here's another one.

00:41:37,425 --> 00:41:38,985

Stop being ashamed of myself in public.

00:41:40,020 --> 00:41:41,940

This is particularly special in my heart.

00:41:42,270 --> 00:41:45,360

I'm out of control in my eating

and everyone can see that.

00:41:46,110 --> 00:41:49,620

If I am overweight, I'm

not taking care of myself.

00:41:49,710 --> 00:41:52,710

This brings me a healthy

and gracious dose of shame.

00:41:52,920 --> 00:41:56,460

Lord, help me love the

gift more than the giver.

00:41:57,060 --> 00:41:58,140

I love food so much.

00:41:58,260 --> 00:42:01,080

I often will find happiness

in eating it more than I find

00:42:01,080 --> 00:42:02,490

happiness in joy in Jesus.

00:42:02,880 --> 00:42:04,140

I need to remove this idol.

00:42:05,190 --> 00:42:07,830

I also put having less pain in my

knees 'cause my knees were hurting.

00:42:07,830 --> 00:42:09,960

I was getting so much weight, my

knees were starting to, to struggle

00:42:09,960 --> 00:42:10,800

under the weight of my body.

00:42:11,310 --> 00:42:14,640

I, I bring this up to you and I expose

this very vulnerable information

00:42:14,640 --> 00:42:19,590

that I wrote about a decade ago, a

little over that actually, because I

00:42:19,590 --> 00:42:22,620

want you to see the way that I think

this, this works in practicality.

00:42:22,980 --> 00:42:26,370

I know it's dangerous to use itself as an

example, but this is what God did for me.

00:42:26,370 --> 00:42:27,840

This is how God showed me myself.

00:42:28,530 --> 00:42:31,890

And this is one evident area where

people can honestly see, okay, is that

00:42:31,890 --> 00:42:35,100

guy, is that man caring for himself

in the way that God wants him to?

00:42:35,370 --> 00:42:36,480

This is not true for all of us.

00:42:36,480 --> 00:42:39,780

Obviously, this is not anyone who's

overweight is not automatically a glutton.

00:42:39,780 --> 00:42:41,520

Anyone who's underweight is

not automatically healthy.

00:42:41,550 --> 00:42:42,510

We all understand that.

00:42:43,020 --> 00:42:45,660

What I'm using this for to say, look, this

is what sober minded reflection can look

00:42:45,660 --> 00:42:47,160

like and how it results in self control.

00:42:47,490 --> 00:42:50,310

Eventually, God got ahold of my heart and

gave me the grace to say, okay, it's time.

00:42:50,340 --> 00:42:51,180

No more messing around.

00:42:52,110 --> 00:42:54,390

But every day I still have to

think, okay, am I loving food or

00:42:54,390 --> 00:42:55,470

am I loving the giver of the food?

00:42:56,010 --> 00:42:58,680

I think to myself, am I allowing

myself to eat in such a way so as

00:42:58,680 --> 00:43:01,860

to give honor to the food or give

honor to the giver of the food?

00:43:02,460 --> 00:43:03,810

And I want you to do

the same with your life.

00:43:04,500 --> 00:43:05,460

Food might be it for you.

00:43:05,730 --> 00:43:06,360

May not be.

00:43:06,810 --> 00:43:08,550

It might be the way that you

spend your free time, the books

00:43:08,550 --> 00:43:11,160

that you read, the shows that you

watch, or even how much you watch.

00:43:11,400 --> 00:43:13,080

It might be a lot of

different things for you.

00:43:13,440 --> 00:43:15,900

Whatever it is, self-control

ought to be the way that people

00:43:15,900 --> 00:43:18,090

characterize every aspect of your life.

00:43:18,585 --> 00:43:21,345

You're being above reproach and being

above reproach, being self-control,

00:43:21,345 --> 00:43:22,785

and it's not gonna accidentally happen.

00:43:22,785 --> 00:43:24,405

You have to take responsibility for it.

00:43:24,615 --> 00:43:26,205

So I want you to think about the why.

00:43:26,775 --> 00:43:29,205

If you're gonna start taking self-control,

if you're gonna induce it in your

00:43:29,205 --> 00:43:33,105

life, let me just encourage you, think

about why it matters that you do it.

00:43:33,645 --> 00:43:37,095

Whatever it is that you think God's

encouraging you to grow in self-control.

00:43:37,425 --> 00:43:38,895

Why does he want me to do this?

00:43:38,925 --> 00:43:40,215

How does it affect my family?

00:43:40,215 --> 00:43:41,175

How does it affect my life?

00:43:41,325 --> 00:43:42,735

How does it affect my witness?

00:43:42,855 --> 00:43:45,135

Ask the why and answer to

the best of your ability.

00:43:45,660 --> 00:43:48,870

Maybe you need to be as vulnerable as

I've been in my journal a decade ago.

00:43:49,140 --> 00:43:51,180

Maybe not, but ask the why.

00:43:51,900 --> 00:43:53,970

If you wanna induce growth in

self-control, you gotta give

00:43:53,970 --> 00:43:57,510

yourself a motivating reason why to

do it, to suffer the penalty or to

00:43:57,510 --> 00:43:59,400

suffer the pain of the discomfort.

00:44:01,020 --> 00:44:04,050

I was listening, listening to a song the

other day, uh, from, from Switchfoot.

00:44:04,080 --> 00:44:04,830

I like Switchfoot.

00:44:05,250 --> 00:44:08,820

Uh, they, they have this song called

Live It Well, and the chorus is simple.

00:44:08,850 --> 00:44:10,680

It's kind of, it's kind of hokey,

but here's what the chorus is.

00:44:10,980 --> 00:44:11,700

Life is short.

00:44:11,700 --> 00:44:12,270

I wanna live it.

00:44:12,270 --> 00:44:12,420

Well.

00:44:12,810 --> 00:44:14,640

One life, one story to tell.

00:44:14,880 --> 00:44:15,540

Life is short.

00:44:15,540 --> 00:44:16,020

I wanna live it.

00:44:16,020 --> 00:44:17,279

Well, and you're the one I'm living for.

00:44:17,279 --> 00:44:18,270

He's talking about God there.

00:44:18,720 --> 00:44:19,860

Awaken all my soul.

00:44:19,980 --> 00:44:21,660

Every breath that you take is a miracle.

00:44:21,810 --> 00:44:22,560

Life is short.

00:44:22,560 --> 00:44:23,130

I wanna live it.

00:44:23,130 --> 00:44:27,360

Well, like if you wanna live your

life well, I can guarantee you're

00:44:27,360 --> 00:44:31,050

not gonna regret saying, man, I

worked really hard to be a godly man.

00:44:31,290 --> 00:44:33,450

You're not gonna look back at your

life and say, man, did I live it?

00:44:33,450 --> 00:44:35,250

Well, well, you, you, you'll

know that you lived it.

00:44:35,250 --> 00:44:38,190

Well, if you're taking steps toward

faithful godliness and obedience,

00:44:38,970 --> 00:44:42,150

you're gonna be able to say, I, I,

I made the best use of the time.

00:44:42,465 --> 00:44:43,245

The days were evil.

00:44:43,305 --> 00:44:47,175

But man, God gave me grace and I got to

impact lots of people because of my life.

00:44:47,625 --> 00:44:48,915

I got to serve my family well.

00:44:48,915 --> 00:44:52,035

I got to love my bride for as

long as God gave me to enjoy her.

00:44:52,035 --> 00:44:54,645

And by the way, you don't

have a guarantee of 70 years.

00:44:54,675 --> 00:44:55,455

You know that, right?

00:44:55,875 --> 00:44:57,975

I don't get to love my bride

with the idea that I'm gonna

00:44:57,975 --> 00:44:58,965

carry her all the way to 80.

00:44:58,965 --> 00:45:03,915

I'd like that, but man, I don't

want to take my bride for granted.

00:45:04,065 --> 00:45:05,384

I don't wanna take my life for granted.

00:45:05,535 --> 00:45:06,435

Take marriage for granted.

00:45:07,665 --> 00:45:08,295

I wanna live life.

00:45:08,295 --> 00:45:10,485

Well, if you wanna be a qualified

leader, it starts today.

00:45:10,665 --> 00:45:11,955

Where do you need to be more intentional?

00:45:12,435 --> 00:45:15,975

Where do you need to say, I'm not

gonna let things accidentally happen.

00:45:16,575 --> 00:45:17,355

Maybe it's your marriage.

00:45:17,355 --> 00:45:19,935

Maybe it's your thought life,

your discipline, whatever it is.

00:45:19,935 --> 00:45:22,875

I encourage you think long and

hard about this because no one

00:45:22,935 --> 00:45:24,585

accidentally drift into godliness.

00:45:24,885 --> 00:45:27,435

We take that bull by the horns, by the

grace of God, for the glory of God.

00:45:27,795 --> 00:45:28,125

Let's pray.

00:45:29,190 --> 00:45:31,200

God, we do thank you for the

opportunity to think carefully

00:45:31,200 --> 00:45:32,250

about these three things.

00:45:32,640 --> 00:45:36,540

We don't want a small O-ring to get

in the way and cause distraction in

00:45:36,540 --> 00:45:37,830

our, or destruction in our lives.

00:45:38,220 --> 00:45:42,960

So help us Lord, to be circumspect, to

think carefully about our lives, to highly

00:45:42,960 --> 00:45:46,770

regard marriage, because it represents

so much for us as a church, as a people.

00:45:47,070 --> 00:45:49,260

It's something that you care about,

is something that you invented?

00:45:50,430 --> 00:45:51,570

Help us therefore to esteem it.

00:45:52,155 --> 00:45:54,945

Help us also, Lord, to be sober minded

about the way that we live our lives.

00:45:54,945 --> 00:45:57,525

To constantly think about what

we're doing, how we're spending

00:45:57,525 --> 00:46:00,255

our money, the foods that we're

eating, the way that we're leading,

00:46:00,555 --> 00:46:03,615

the way that we're interacting

with others, how we're mentoring

00:46:03,645 --> 00:46:05,085

others or being mentored by others.

00:46:05,085 --> 00:46:08,805

The books that we read, the music we

listen to, the, the, the verses that

00:46:08,805 --> 00:46:12,915

we memorize or don't memorize, help us

to be circumspect about the way that we

00:46:12,915 --> 00:46:18,045

live, to be disciplined, intentional, and

thoughtful about our approach to life.

00:46:18,855 --> 00:46:21,465

Finally, Lord, we want

to exercise self-control.

00:46:21,465 --> 00:46:24,405

When we see those things, it's one thing

to notice it as another, to act upon it.

00:46:24,615 --> 00:46:27,375

Help us to act upon these

things with self-control.

00:46:27,495 --> 00:46:30,405

Empowered by your spirit

for the glory of King Jesus.

00:46:30,435 --> 00:46:31,785

He's the one that we live for.

00:46:32,025 --> 00:46:34,245

So help us to recognize life is shortened.

00:46:34,245 --> 00:46:34,875

We wanna live it.

00:46:34,875 --> 00:46:37,335

Well, for your sake, we ask

all this in Jesus' name.

00:46:37,665 --> 00:46:38,085

Amen.