Join us for an enlightening conversation on the My Third Bloom Podcast, where we delve into the often-taboo topics surrounding perimenopause and menopause. Our guest, the iconic Jully Black, shares her powerful insights on navigating hormonal changes, emphasizing the importance of self-love and education in this transformative phase of life. With her unique blend of artistry and activism, Jully inspires listeners to embrace their journeys with grace and strength. The discussion touches on the emotional and physical challenges women face, including body image issues and the importance of community support. Together, we explore how breaking the silence around these experiences can empower women to thrive in their third bloom.

Welcome to the My Third Bloom Podcast where we get into unfiltered conversations about the powerful journey of aging gracefully during perimenopause and menopause, breaking taboos and embracing transformation.

I'm your host Tricia Blake, founder, CEO and Chief awesome Officer of My Third Bloom where we are on a mission to empower those experience experiencing perimenopause and menopause.

We're guided by empathy and fueled by innovation.

We provide support, education and resources.

Whether you're navigating the roller coaster of hormonal changes or seeking a supportive community, you're in the right place.

Buckle up and get ready to bloom with strength, wisdom and grace.

Hey listeners.

Welcome to the next episode of the My Third Bloom Podcast.

Our next guest is a multiple award winning singer, actress and philanthropist who is a true Canadian icon and global star.

Dubbed the Queen of R and B and Soul, she is a platinum selling recording artist.

She has shared stages with megastars like Elton John, Alicia Keys, Celine Dion and Drake to name a few.

Her impact on Canadian media and entertainment is undeniable, earning top honors and awards for outstanding performances in acting and musical theater.

She is a vocal Advocate for the LGBTQ2S+ community and inspired by her late mother sacrifices, she also formed foundation providing educational opportunities so women don't have to choose between education and feeding their families.

She's a powerful personal development coach, speaker and spiritual mentor.

With her latest album and boundless activism music and manifesting positive change, this iconic figure's legacy continues.

Please join me in giving a warm My Third Blue Podcast welcome to mi hermana Miprima, my sister, the visionary artist Julie Black.

Oh, gracias.

Thank you.

No, thank you.

Thank you so much for saying yes I am.

It is an honor.

It is an honor to have you on the show and I am excited because I feel like we're gonna let's take our listeners on some grown woman, you know Some grown woman talk, big woman talk.

I have to say up front, congratulations.

I'm happy for you.

Proud of you.

I feel like you brought these conversations from behind closed doors to enlighten and inspire and encourage and just, you know, pump up other women and those who identify as us to stand in their power.

Talk the T.

Yes.

Thank you so much.

And that's what we're going to do.

We're going to talk the things.

Talk the things.

This is just, you know, I feel like a sister to sister talk, like a girlfriend talk about the things we're not talking about.

Because probably five, seven, eight years ago, I don't know if I would be talking about this.

It would be.

Right.

Yeah, we don't, we don't talk about these things, but talking about hormones and hormone health and hormone changes and as a, as a powerhouse that you are with your music, your acting, your activism and so much more, you know, I'm curious in terms of how, how have you navigated, you know, your, your transition, like hormonal changes and things like that.

Wow.

Well, thank you again for even.

It's interesting to hear the compliments, to hear the accolades.

Part of the navigating hormone health is actually believing it and not fighting with it.

As I'm going through these changes that sometimes could cause me to not feel as successful as I actually am or was or can be.

Because as the perimenopause and menopause is approaching and going through pcos, polycystic ovarian syndrome, many, many years ago, I didn't even know was really like a hormonal thing.

There was so much, so much going on with just the ignorance of it.

It's like, okay, yeah, what does that mean?

Okay, so you have pms, for example.

I go even further back, right.

All through.

I've been in the music industry, entertainment industry since I was 13 years old.

And so since I had my period, I've been told you have, you know, pms.

I mean, pms, PMS was like, okay, get ready for it.

Once a month, I'm going to be a raging, miserable beast.

I'm going to eat enough ketchup chips.

I'm going to want to fight like all these.

That was just like thrown on me without educating me about what was actually happening chemically.

And so the way I've navigated it to shoot straight as I just talk about, I just been honest, as honest I could be with the information that I had.

Right.

And I started to educate myself, read and just.

And actually ask other women and other grown Women who, you know, one in particular, my older sister, helped me realize that.

Well, my mom had her period till she was 60.

My mom had me at 42.

So when my mom and I were bucking heads, I moved out at 19.

Puberty and menopause at the same time in the same house.

Oh, right, Talk about that.

And they need to talk about that.

Right?

And it's all hormones.

And so how are we.

How are we navigating households?

See, with me, I wasn't home.

I left home at 18 to go to university.

And so when my mom was going through.

My mom actually went through surgical menopause.

Okay, okay.

So early.

So she had, she had a hysterectomy at 41.

And I was like, where was I when this went down?

Like, I think I would have remembered such a significant surgery, of course, but I had no idea.

And she's like, well, you are, you know, living your life and doing your thing.

No, this is the talking about it, right?

Yes, 100%.

You know, at the time too, my mom, we had just lost my sister Sharon, and my mom, I believe, was 56, 57.

So she's going through navigating, grief, burying a daughter, raising two infants that my sister left behind, going through menopause and then her youngest child going through these hormone changes as a teenager in silence.

Pray about it.

Drink Minty mint, teachers, everything in our community.

Right?

But this is what you're doing, Trisha.

What you're doing is, is groundbreaking.

It is healing.

It is because the whole, you know, I even went to a point where I was starting to lose my own actually singing voice.

I'll be.

I was hoarse because I was actually holding.

Holding the secret sufferings, being afraid of like, well, I.

My reproductive health, you know, weight gain, adult acne, all these things are just sitting in, just like.

And so I'll do a show, do an event, literally lose my voice each time.

And I thought it was, you know, you know, for technique, whatever, lack of sleep, maybe even a one, two apple cider, you know, cider beer.

I want to Prosecco.

And it wasn't that alone.

It was still there.

There's so much attached to emotional and hormonal health.

I fundamentally believe, personally, I'm not going to say it's a medical thing.

I'm not a doctor.

I can only speak to my lived experience.

And as I've become more enlightened, educated and sought out medical support.

Voice is great.

Right.

It's so interesting how, how the emotional and the hormonal, it just goes along the line, it just aligns to me anyway.

No, it's true.

It's.

It's all connected.

Like our bodies are all connected in so many different ways.

Whatever is happening with our brain, the changes that are going on there, there's changes that are happening in our gut, there's changes that are happening in our bones and our muscles.

So to the point of, you know, when we were younger and going through puberty, we're developing as women and our bodies change and oh my gosh, all of a sudden you're gaining weight or you know, things are happening, but then as you get older, other things are.

Happening, Other things are happening 100%.

I also suffered for many years and even somewhat now it creeps up on me every so often with body dysmorphia and just what I, what I see, others don't see, or what others see, I don't see.

But what I also realized this was in, in my own preparation for this conversation.

I did the whole naked stood in the mirror today, you know, just, just looking and it's like just.

Even though the self love all the things.

But my aha.

Was that my hips are actually shaped different.

Like I don't have the.

I need to carry babies on my hips.

Hips anymore.

Yeah, you're actually a little bit, you know, I'm shaped a little bit different.

I'm like, okay, no, seriously, like I'm looking.

Like everything serves a purpose.

Yes, yes.

And our bodies carry us and so where do we give ourselves the grace and the kindness for, you know, the, the wisdom to get us to this point.

Right.

And, and whatever we are holding, like we're going to evolve into something else.

Okay, Can I say something just to add on to that?

Yeah.

I was listening to this Wayne Dyer clip, Dr.

Wayne Dyer clip last week and he was talking about his daughter had said to him, dad, you're not bald.

Your, your head just grew higher than your hair.

Like.

Right.

And he went on to say he just had to think about his 5 year old body has died, his 10 year old body has died.

Like his 20 year old has like all of these bodies.

We have to like understand that it's carried us to a certain point.

And if you realize that you're in the body that it needs to, you need to have now to serve now and serve humanity now you'll start to realize like, okay, you're not.

There's actually nothing wrong with you.

You're exactly how you should be for how you need to be in this world right now.

Right.

You're feeling wonderfully made.

Yes.

Right.

And we don't have the appreciation for that.

We forget it because we don't off.

We don't actually talk about it because society also tells us that we're supposed to be this size.

We're supposed to not have, you know, X, we're not supposed to have Y, this is not attractive, et cetera.

And then we have to fight those.

Thoughts on top of the fact that.

Our hormones are fluctuating, like on a roller coaster or on our estrogen is depleting.

So how I felt 10 years ago and how I feel now is a whole other thing.

And navigating that, like, how do you navigate that you spoke about from a physical aspect, you know, with the holistic wellness 100 strong and sexy.

The power of step.

Staying physically and mentally strong.

You know, trying to manage your hormones, trying to manage.

I don't know if you had brain fog.

So I think you're.

You're a writer, you're a songwriter.

So did you notice anything like that and make the connection?

So I'm trying not to step on you, right?

Because you're like.

You're like, again today, just mentally preparing for.

To sit and be open and.

And be able to get the downloads.

I sat on the couch today, and I was like.

Which is rare.

I don't really sit.

A lot of people say, you know, when there's lots of.

You just sat.

I sat.

And I was like.

When I was studying the 300 pages of Caroline or Change, okay.

I still didn't accept or fully realize that I was in perimenopause.

And I, like, you know, I got it in.

I did well.

But I was the.

The brain fog was next level.

Like, and then I start to get.

Have a little bit of fear over the last little while because my mom was diagnosed with dementia.

And I'm like, okay, is this some sort of, you know, just all those thoughts?

Yeah.

Is it happening to me?

Right.

And that the brain fog is real.

It is realer than.

Realer than real.

I'm not trying to even make it be like some people, like, I have brain fog and just use it as an excuse.

Right.

Yeah.

But for when I pay closer attention to it.

Simple things.

Being on the morning show, having my cue cards.

Not really even wanting to have the cue card, but lately saying, hey, you know what?

Give me some cue cards.

Let me have a back.

A tip.

Let me back up.

Yes.

Empathy.

It's elephant Memory.

And I'm like, throw the line at me.

Boom.

Right?

So it's.

It's a thing, man.

It's a thing.

And it's to really, to your point, like, give yourself grace, find community.

Yes.

Talk about it.

And also just realize that it doesn't make us any less than.

We're not broken.

We're not the broken doll.

Yeah.

No one wants to play with, because whatever.

Like, nah, nah, nah, nah.

This is.

I wrote an album called this is me 19 years ago, and who would have thought, 19 years from now.

I'm literally saying the same thing.

Like, you know, this is me on today.

Meet me here or go ahead for me, away from me.

Right.

Yeah.

No, it's so true.

There's so many lessons and lessons from our elders, and it's, I think, trying to get our elders to.

To share when it's not something that we've done historically, like, their parents didn't necessarily share.

And everyone wants to look their best, everyone wants to feel their best, I think at any change, but at any age, I should say.

But hormonal shifts can really mess with your confidence.

Yes, this is me.

How do you.

You know, you're a mindset coach, too.

So what self care practices or mindset adjustments helped you to love yourself through the changes?

One thing was really big for me when I had my hair start to get a little thin.

I was known for my bountiful hair down, you know, rolled the waist length and it got to a point and just recently, like, 20, 22, where I was like, you know, I'm doing the biggest chop, the big, big chop.

And.

But I was able to align it with honoring my mom and honoring African ancestry.

I went to Kenya.

I sat with the mommies, who they weren't.

They weren't seniors in age except the children.

It was culture to have short hair.

There's not a big deal.

There was no value attached to their hair.

And so that was part of the mindset practice where it's like, you know what?

It's hair having friends, you know, one of them, you know, rest in paradise.

Jodian, who at the time, when she's going through the cancer.

Cancer journey, she was happy for eyelashes, happy for eyebrows.

You know, things that we take where I'm like, oh, road to waist length.

How about happy for eyebrows?

That's how that helped me to navigate the changes, especially cultural changes where, you know, especially a Caribbean culture where your hair.

How long is your hair?

Like, oh, look at your.

Is that a weave?

Is that a.

Before there was even Lace front and all these things, right?

Looking like, like, yep, it's mine.

Didn't you know, just this is what it is, right?

So things like that.

And I started to look at beautiful who I deemed as beautiful melanated women who had unique.

What the society deemed as unique features.

Nina Simone, Tina Turner, Glattus Knight, Patti LaBelle, you know, the younger one, Serena Williams.

Like, I just.

Because I am all in stature, larger in stature according to societal norms, whatever.

But I'm like, you know what?

I need to just.

I want to celebrate these.

Leila, Ali, like these are names and the reason why I could draw them like that, pull them, because I actually went to go look at them and just celebrate them in my own way, which helped me celebrate me because it was.

It was a projection reflection thing.

Not trying to covet be them, look like them was like, I wonder if they ever went through what they went through.

You know, watching an interview with Tina Turner and you know, she gave Glattus Knight her first wig.

You know, just little things that really help me understand that conversations like we're having, they were having these conversations in their own way might not be talking about hormones, but it's like, girl, here's a little lipstick for you.

Whatever.

Just about things that may have helped them just feel just a bit better about themselves, right?

So that's been part of the journey, like, and it's.

And it's a daily practice.

I say it's no different than yoga, even though I don't practice yoga every day.

But I'd like to practice.

They say it's a practice, right?

There's no, we're.

You're not trying to get anywhere.

You just.

You're practicing daily.

So it's been really helpful for me.

Oh, that's awesome.

Thank you for sharing that.

Did you ever feel misunderstood as you're navigating this particular journey not knowing what it is, you know, before the conversation started opening up?

Because, let's be honest, the conversations just started opening up maybe a couple years ago regarding.

You might as well just say it was yesterday because now trend, you know, no disrespect, but, you know, that's why I'm really even careful on how much I consume and who entrusted resources.

Right.

So of course I definitely part of my pain points.

I'm in therapy.

I love therapy.

I'll be in therapy for the rest of my life.

I love it.

And one of my pain points is being misunderstood.

A rejection, abandonment, like, you know, and so I often was misunderstood, especially because I.

I cry what people say easily.

And there were times where I couldn't understand why I was so sad.

Why just.

And it'll just come at any distance, any time.

Right.

It's like, okay, but it's.

I'm not checking.

I was not two weeks before my period or.

It's not.

I'm trying to do all the calculations.

And it's.

It was hard in relationships.

I stayed.

I was gaslit quite a bit in former relationships.

Like, you know, it's all me, and it's all.

Even though there's times where it's like, I'm not trying to say I was perfect.

You know, understanding that it's even important if you do desire to be in a relationship, that that partner is really on board, that changes are happening.

Changes are going to happen, and it needs not be, you know, the classic, are you on your period?

Are you, you know, PMSing?

Like, the maturity that's needed to support these changes.

Yes.

My mom would say, everybody ages, not everybody grows up.

That.

Yeah.

And she said that all of her parables, they're coming forward now.

It's like, it's helped me decide, you know, who.

Who gets access and who I want to access.

Right.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Because not everyone should have access.

And when it comes to relationships, it's so complex.

Did you know that there's studies that say that over 50% of women that are experiencing relationship strain.

50% of women.

Sorry.

Experience relationship strain during the menopause transition.

Whether it's intimacy issues.

Hello.

Whether it is communication problems or feelings of being misunderstood by your partner.

And the things with some of the, like the perimenopausal symptoms.

And even when you're in menopause or postmenopause, the mood swings, the fatigue, the body image challenges that can test even the strongest of bonds, not just with your partner, but also with your family and with your friends and, you know, the.

That strain.

How.

How.

Do you have any tips for navigating that strain or miscommunication in key relationships, like, when you're in it.

And what advice would you give women to.

You have to protect yourself and you have to protect your energy.

But what advice would you give women on maintaining healthy connections while managing, like, this hormonal roller coaster?

Yeah.

That's big.

I'm actually gonna pull something off if you.

If I have a second to do so.

Absolutely.

This is very fresh, and it has to do with trust.

And so my therapist asked me, like, okay, so how have you.

How do you determine who gets your trust?

And I was like, oh, well, to me it was like the merit points.

You kind of have points and then you lose the points if you mess with me, right?

She's like, well, she's like, okay, let's.

Let's unpack that.

And we start to unpack it over the past few weeks.

This is fresh off the press.

And so we spoke about these seven elements of trust, boundaries.

Big one, right?

And the thing is, when I was navigating as I navigate hormone changes, I had my battle was.

And at sometimes is still okay.

Seniority versus loyalty, relatives versus family.

You know, some of these, Some of the people that I just gave access because you.

I thought you should just have it, etc.

It was like I wasn't.

I had to now be very clear about my boundaries and my, my emotional boundaries.

Right?

And I think that's where I is tough.

But there's times there's like, okay, so I wouldn't tolerate this if I was in a romantic relationship.

I can't tolerate it with a friendship, a girlfriend, a family member, a sister.

It doesn't matter.

It's the same rules apply.

You have to apply reliability.

You know, being aware of your competencies and limitations.

Right.

Are you able to deliver and could you balance competing priorities.

The whole competing priorities is huge in reliability.

Trust me.

Integrity with you are.

We already spoke about this many times.

Say, say what you do, mean what you say.

Say what you mean.

Accountability, Own your mistakes.

This is.

Was a deal.

This was the, the TSN turning point for me.

Oh that people that would not own their mistakes.

You'd be surprised how our relationship could get even stronger.

Just be accountable.

It's okay, right?

The vault, this vault, the stuff that stay in the vault.

Unless it is, you know, it's.

It's.

It's something that's gonna be.

You're gonna hurt yourself or somebody else.

Right?

Trust, like that, that's big part of trust.

Non judgment.

If I tell you, hey, Trisha slept with 20 guys, I should be able to tell you this with no, no judgment, no judgment.

You know what I mean?

And generosity.

That's the big point about.

This is the seventh element.

I.

It's projection, reflection.

I'm not saying If I give 20, you have to give 20, but if I give 20 minutes of time, could you give 15 minutes of yours?

Like there are people that are just not generous with time, with talent, with energy, with money, with.

And so I've been on a journey to really be aligned.

Alignment is key.

I'm three years to 50, man.

Like this is spring chicken and I'm proud of it.

I'm happy to be able to.

I'm a big grown woman and now I'm actually able to lean into the hormones to say, my body's telling me it's time to do and make some grown up decisions.

Because my body's telling me this, right?

It's informing me of the stage I'm at in life, this computer, right?

Some of us have been going through life buffering, buffering, buffering, buffering.

I don't want to see that lollipop in my mind, you know, I mean.

You know the blue screen where you're like, oh God.

Right?

So, you know, it's, it's, it's an interesting time with the what's going on in our outer world.

We already know this.

It's a time that, you know, we need to believe what women are saying and we've been saying a lot and not being heard for a very long time.

And I don't want it to be that.

It's like, okay, now this is some million women, you know, perimenopause, menopause, post menopause march.

And they make, sometimes society can make it make that look like a rah rah.

Yeah, like, it's not a rah rah.

It's not a rah rah rah rah.

Just like how we can, we can talk about other things.

When you start to normalize the conversation, you bring light to the things that they've tried to either suppress or keep dark.

So the more you talk about it, then there is no, oh my gosh, perimenopause and menopause, they're having it today because that's what it is right now.

Because everybody is talking about it, which is good.

But it's this generation that's coming up that you don't have to struggle, you don't have to know to be looking up.

Here are the resources.

There's actually more time spent in research, but by the time you get to that age, unlike us, where it's only been 30 years since, you know, we've been a part of the research.

And let's get into for women of color where we're not in these research studies, so knowing that we don't experience it the same.

One thing you said earlier about grannies and stuff and you know, our aunties and stuff, I, I'm starting to get to the point now, especially because I have like, you know, one more living auntie on my mom's side and one, maybe two on my dad's side, but I'm I close to my mom's side.

But, you know, I call my auntie, I speak to her often.

She's 83 and she's living on her own.

And she's talking about how this younger man at the seniors club, she's 65.

Yeah, he's interested in her.

But, you know, all these, these young men wanted sex and she's 83.

Right.

But she talked about a 65 year old.

I'm like, okay, I guess he's a young king still.

But the more I'm able to talk to her about like, what I'm going through actually has her share more than me asking her what did she go through.

That right there, I, that right there, we share.

I, I see it with my mom because I started to have the conversations.

I'm like, yo, what's happening?

I went to the doctor and this happened.

Or the doctor said, is this in my family?

So then, you know, I bring it back, I bring it back home and we start to have the conversation.

And as I shared, you know, I interviewed her for the podcast and the language was different.

And so I was like, how?

One of the questions was, how do you feel about me asking you about this?

Right.

For everybody to hear.

Hello.

And she said, no, it's time.

She's like, I didn't get to do that with my, with my mom, you know, or with my, you know, my sisters.

It was after the fact.

And so it's good to see that, you know, your generation.

My generation, she said, is talking and sharing what's happening.

I don't understand this.

Why are my periods so heavy?

This can't be normal.

I'm anemic.

Are you anemic?

I've never heard you talk about being anemic.

You had fibroids.

When would I have known that?

I wouldn't have necessarily known that.

But it's like as I need to make informed decisions.

My mom is a retired nurse.

Let me go to the nurse and get her opinion and then be like, oh, yeah, well, I, oh, well, this happened.

Oh, well, I kind of missed like actual perimenopause because I had the surgical, you know, surgical.

So just having my hysterectomy removed.

So she, but she said the, the symptoms that came after that was horrible.

So then that's a whole other discussion for those women that have to, that's the option that they have to, you know, do.

Yeah.

And the challenges that they have, we don't talk about that.

Just like when we're talking about menopause, Everybody forgets the perimenopause discussion knowing that it can be 10 years.

And so when you start to calculate it, you're like, hold on a second.

This is my late 30s.

It started.

It started.

That's what happened when I'm feeling dry when I was, you know, the River Nile when I was younger.

You know what I mean?

And no one wants to talk about it or, you know, all the things.

So it's like, I want to share with you earlier, about years ago, I wanted to take agency over my reproductive health.

Want to go get to freezing some eggs.

I was 39.

And, you know, past 35, they're like, you know, it's still.

Your eggs aren't young and all the, all the things.

But not knowing that even for ivf, for example, the Canadian government would cover it up until like 40 for like two rounds or something.

Like, we don't know these things.

Like, when are we actually finding out if that's the route you want to take?

Right.

Who do we ask these questions to when?

Sometimes it's even now, it's common.

But back then it's like, well, the Lord.

If the Lord doesn't give you a baby, then you're not supposed to have a baby.

If the, you know, there's a battle of religion.

There's various things culturally, Right.

But I also recognize that I was in a very toxic relationship and they wanted him to come in with me and take some of his, you know, sperm and all the things.

And I'm like, that just like, wait, wait, wait.

That actually was like my super red flag.

I'm like, I'm not trying to do forever with this person, but I just want to take out tree egg.

But I was, oh, you have to come in with your partner.

And maybe it was just the wrong clinic, but that was it.

I walked away.

But imagine insects end and high school, middle school, that you.

There's even a conversation, maybe it's happening now about agents.

You just take an agency over your reproductive health.

My ear, nose and throat doctor, Dr.

Jennifer Anderson.

I remember she said to me, you know what I wish out the blue, random.

This is when I was single.

She said, you know what I wish?

I wish more women could take agency over their reproductive health.

I'm telling and white woman, though.

I'm telling my daughters to freeze their eggs.

Then there's a financial thing and there's like our community and culture.

It's like, oh, talking about that, talking about it.

We're not talking about it.

And I think, you know, just to the awareness.

For me, any kind of change has to happen with me being a change practitioner by day, in order for the change to happen, you need to have awareness.

So if we are looking to make any significant change around this, we have to start building the awareness.

These types of conversations, the conversations in the salon, like, I wonder if we take it back.

If you think about when the women were in the salons, what were they talking about?

They had to be talking about, oh, I'm hot.

All in the dead of winter, just sweating.

Right?

Yeah.

Listen, listen, listen.

My mom.

My mom gave me a joke about how she was.

She went on a bus trip to Indiana.

As for the Lions Club, they had some convention.

And she.

She said that it was funny to see when everybody got back on the bus how all of the women were fanning themselves.

They were all fanning themselves, but nobody's talking.

No one's actually saying what's really going on.

No Amazon people having neck fans.

Oh, yeah, right.

Having their thing.

Hey, I'm keeping myself cool.

I'm having a hot flash.

I'm having night sweats.

I am having I.

There.

There is agency in.

In naming it and sharing it and knowing that you are not alone.

Right?

Yeah, The I am.

Right.

Own it.

Own it through the I am.

I am experiencing this.

Yeah, I am.

And that I don't want to suffer.

Right.

You shouldn't have to suffer.

And I think that's the.

That's the change that's happening, is recognizing that our generation's like, no, no, no.

Suffering is not an option.

But that is work that we have to almost decondition ourselves.

Is that.

Is that the right word?

Like in.

In the thinking of.

It's okay.

Yeah.

Unlearn.

And, you know, recognizing that men are going through their changes as they age, right?

Oh, yes.

It's like, okay, buy this, you know, erectile dysfunction pill.

They just focus on be able to represent in the bed.

Here's a pill.

Make sure.

You could slam.

Make sure you can get it up.

Make sure.

And there's a.

There's a mental health thing going on with them and us.

And it's like, I look at this whole bridge concept, and before I go all the way across, walk all the way across the bridge and meet the person there, and I'm like, yo, I'm in the middle of the bridge, Simia.

Yeah.

Because I've been going to the other side.

I go back, taking that.

Those Laps.

Need to meet me in the middle.

Need to meet me in the middle of what you're going through.

I need to, I need to hear your experiences, especially when it comes in partnership relationship.

Like, let's do this together.

Because guess what?

I'm not going to be one carrying the brunt of, like, I'm going through these changes and the men just get to pop some pill and just pick.

I can get it up.

That's it.

That's the inequity in our, in our, in society and our health care system because they say there's something wrong with them.

Quick, here's a pill.

This is something.

And people are fighting, fighting, begging to get treatment.

Where is the fairness in that?

Like, why are we fighting to get like hormones for those who choose to get hormone menopause hormone therapy.

Right.

But some, there's other options for other people.

So quickly.

There's a drug that's out there.

Yeah.

So quickly.

Also too, there's this, like, because, you know, I have friends who are doing hormone replacement and it's.

And it's a duck down.

Oh, I started home like this.

It's a shame even that we have to destigmatize that.

Yes.

Right.

It's your choice.

It's your choice.

The, the benefits depending on the age that you start outweigh the risks.

Like you, it's.

It can protect your heart, it's protecting your brain, it is protecting your joints.

So if that is an option that you want to have, why would, why is anybody, why are they being quiet about it?

Oh, could I, Can I say something else?

Yeah.

What year was it?

Okay.

Sauce was 19, 18.

19.

So I broke my toe.

I had never broken a limb in my life.

Who knew that my bones gets would be so brittle?

This is part of that perimenopause.

Yes.

I had no idea.

Oh, toe brook bunions flaring like, just the, the way my body became so fragile.

Like.

Okay, so then knowing that I have to continue to build the muscle, trade my muscle before it was like cosmetic or, you know, what's the word I'm looking for?

Whatever, just vanity.

This, this weightlifting is not for vanity.

It's for longevity.

Thank you.

Thank you.

It is for longevity.

And I think if we can change the narrative on that.

Yes, there's a bit of vanity.

Everybody wants to look good, but you can look as good as you want.

But if anyhow you drop and you break something and it takes you longer to heal in your old, in your age, like you break a hip Yeah.

I don't care how good you look, that's not going to help you because you're going to be laid up.

Right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So the importance of the.

The working out, the physical activity, trying to hammer that home, you know?

Yeah.

And knowing that what we did, whether you're starting now or not.

But let's say for those of us who trained for many years, what I did in my 20s can't do my 30s, 40s, you have to update the software.

It's that I don't rah rah seven days a week that actually caused me to gain weight and give me so much stress and.

And hurt myself, in fact.

Right.

So to your point, it's like the awareness.

You don't know what you don't know.

Right.

But when you do know, you know better.

Please do better.

Please share.

This is why I was excited to be here, to just open up things like, there's nothing off limits, like yo.

Conversations.

Let's go.

Let's do the.

Why are we working out?

Yes.

You want to reduce your belly fat, but guess what?

It's more about your bone health and your brain health and your heart health.

Can we talk about it?

Can we talk about it?

There's a lot of people in the 40s and 50s, but, like, lately I've been hearing a lot in the fat, 40s, age, heart attack, stroke, like, things were like, what is going on?

Even my auntie, 83, was like, all these young, young people, you know, we.

We outliving all these young, young people.

Diabetes, you know.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And one thing I remember reading was looking back to, like, before our parents, I don't know, 60, 70, 100 years ago, they weren't living to 50 or 60.

So we're also now outliving our hormones, which is.

We don't know what's going on when you think about it.

Right.

That's big because I think about people who got, you know, that era where you hear people are married at 12 or they're married at 50, you have a full family at 15, 16, but maybe they don't.

Didn't live till.

They only live till 30 or whatever.

So you're absolutely right about life expectancy and yeah.

Outliving our hormones, that's huge.

It's like age basically, like aging out in an interesting way, you know?

Yeah, that's.

Aha.

And figuring out how to.

How do you work with this new operating system that no one, no one has been able to tell you about from before for.

Because they might not have made it to use that operating system.

So we have to really.

Right, create the manual.

This is what's happening right now.

Manual, manual.

But it's big.

It's big.

And then like, you know, who knew or who knows how it was in Jamaica, for example, you know, different environment, sunshine, not different, everything different.

Like who's to say that that, that year round heat, that year round warmth didn't create a different level of hormonal, you know, consistency where, you know, we're living in a time where we, we gotta work like we gotta really to keep up our, the way we want to live.

I'm not even talking about any sort of vanity, excessive, luxurious lifestyle.

I'm talking simple.

There's a housing crisis, there's a food crisis, there's period poverty.

There's all these things that now I'm like, I sit here sometimes and I'm like, I remember when I was hyped to get my first bill in the mail.

I just wanted my own bills.

And it was a sprint.

Be grown.

Don't hurry to be grown.

Grown.

You know, I'm happy to be grown.

I wouldn't, I'm not looking to go back.

I heard someone the other day say, I was on the airplane and they were like, oh, to be 20 again.

I was like, it took 46 years to be 46.

I'm happy for the intel now.

It's what I do with the intel.

Right?

That's what it is.

Not hoarding this information, not hoarding this.

You know, it's like having the cure to something and just, you know, just swallowing it, not sharing it.

What's that all about?

I'm tired of that.

Same here.

And I think our generation is, we just need to, we just have to keep talking about it, shining that light, you know, meeting people where they're at.

Because even though there's still a lot of resources that are out there, we're not going there.

We're not going to find it.

Everybody is a thought leader.

Every, every.

There's a lot of OB GYNs on Instagram and TikTok.

They all got accounts and I love it, don't get me wrong.

But sometimes that is overload.

And what am I supposed to do with this information?

We have to bring it back down to.

Let's have the conversation.

Let's, let's just bring it up like, and it starts with one person sharing, not me asking.

So you going through perimenopause, you right?

What kind of symptoms you got?

You know, my hair's falling out.

Okay.

I got Acne.

Oh, yeah.

I'm hot.

Okay.

You know, I got driver jj.

Okay.

And then what?

Right.

Oh, well, I have a really great doctor.

Or I'm seeing an amazing naturopath.

Or this is what has worked for me.

I'm finding xyz.

Like, not just about the solutions, but we need to share what.

Not just about the symptoms, but sharing what some of the solutions are that are working for us or the.

That pep talk to help, you know.

Yeah.

It's okay.

Your hair is going to thin.

This is.

Your skin is going to thin.

And this is why.

And you may need to supplement.

And this is why.

And ah.

All in the name of longevity.

I think that's where I'm at.

I love that.

I love that you said.

I just wanted to cut you.

Sorry about that.

That you.

That you just said.

And this is why.

That one just hit me.

It really did.

That's the.

That's the part of the conversation that's missing because that's the part that helps a person, helps us give ourselves grace and understand that there's, you know, relatability and that I'm normal.

And that when someone says, for me exam, for example, being a singer, a performer, songwriter, all the things not realizing that.

That insomnia, you know, sleep when you're dead, sleeps the cousin of death.

Musicians stay up late.

Like, I was.

That was part of the hormonal suffering.

I'm like, yo, why is everybody sleeping by me?

Like, I need to sleep.

Yeah.

And you know what I mean?

It's just like feeling like hell in the morning, having to get up, shoot the show.

Or like, these are things that I have to really start to figure out, get my magnesium in.

Just things small becoming more regimented.

And even if I'm not falling asleep, get in the bed, shut things off.

Like, I had to still create some sort of routine to tell my body it's okay to relax even if the hormones are doing blah, blah, blah.

And then, you know, do the.

Do the regimen long enough to actually realize that it works.

Because a lot of things is trust.

A friend of mine the other day is like, actually, my.

One of my.

A doctor who happens to be Asian.

He said to me, not everything that says T is tea.

Hey.

Okay, shots fire.

Take cover.

Like, we just put it.

I'm drinking tea.

Where's it from?

What.

What bag is it in?

Like, what is it?

We're just soaking these bags in hot water and there's.

Okay, I'm having tea.

And wonder why somebody does so much chemical overload.

Like, whoa, let me just take a look at my environment.

Yeah.

Micro.

Just bring it in, Julie, and see what's up.

Right?

And the things that you can control.

That's it.

Things that you can work on to make small changes.

And then the small changes as you build on it and build on it and build on it becomes a big change.

And all of a sudden you don't really notice that, oh, yeah, I don't need to do that anymore.

Or this is really helping.

Yeah.

Even something like hair.

I just finally, I went back to my original hairdresser, Valerie, from like 20 something years or 28 years ago, and it was so nice to hook up with her again and all the things.

And she just said to me, she said, just, just.

Just use your hand and go backwards.

Don't even put your fingers in.

Just go in your curl pattern.

Just go like this.

Be kind.

Be kind to it.

Oh, behind.

Be kind.

Because all of this, all of this.

And I gotta get the scalp and I gotta.

And then the edges.

And then she said, no, no, no.

Cut all that.

Cut all that.

Get your.

Your conditioner.

Make sure you have your followup with your.

Your oil, you know, to seal it in.

And just be kind and go in your curl direction of your curl pattern.

Game changer.

Game changer.

All these years and it's not even talk about short hair.

I think about the routine of like, okay, it's hair day.

It's going to take me four hours.

My hair washing wash day is going to be.

Could you imagine if it was just a flickover of like, just be kind?

You know, as you say that, I think about when we're washing a baby's hair.

Come on now.

Treating that baby like.

When you think about.

Let.

Come on, head back.

Little water pouring down, you know, I mean, massage.

They get head massages.

Gentlemen.

Kind.

Be kind to ourselves.

Be kind to ourselves.

The body keeps the score, right?

Ourselves are listening all the time.

All the time.

Biggest, biggest nosy neighbor is ourselves.

Oh, my gosh.

Love that.

So before we wrap up, let's have a bit of fun.

Yeah.

If you weren't having fun yet, this was.

No, no, no.

We're gonna.

We're having more fun.

We're having more fun.

Turn it up, Turn it up.

This one.

If you could give one piece of advice to your younger self about this season of life, your third bloom, what would it be?

Oh.

As you fully love yourself, full love will find you.

As you fully love yourself.

Not even true love, but full, full love will find you.

Yeah, yeah.

That'S that's a deep cell level.

Yeah, full.

Full cup is full.

Full.

Joy.

Full love.

Yeah, full.

Because the thing about the love, and I'll take it to, you know, I'll go religious now for myself with the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit, and love is one of them.

But the love, the joy, the peace, the patience, the kindness, the goodness, the gentleness, the faithfulness, the self control, all of that is full love.

Full love encompasses self control.

Full love is peace.

Full love is joy.

Full love is faithfulness.

Full love is kindness.

You know, it's that whole concept that, you know, if you squeeze an orange, you expect orange juice to come out of it.

You don't expect apple juice to come out of it.

It's an expectant love.

When you could fully love.

It's an expectant.

Right.

And so I, I put myself through especially.

As mom is not here.

Mom.

Mom demonstrated full love.

It was not true or untrue.

It was full.

And sometimes because that's parental, you know, are maternal people don't look at it as.

It's the same.

It's.

It's the same type of love because it's a feeling.

My now fiance said, whether I met you, whether you're together 20 years and you, you still have that joy and that, you know, whatever that feeling or you get together 20 days, it's the same feeling.

The feeling.

Based on the years, it's full feeling.

I love that.

Full feeling.

Yeah.

Full feeling, full love, full joy.

Just experience the fullness of you.

Boom.

Thank you.

Copy.

I know you play ballet.

Swing.

Swish, swish, swish.

So awesome.

Last question.

Where can we find you?

What do you got going on?

If that you can share, you know.

Oh, well, I just recorded a new ep.

Yes.

It's.

It's being mixed and mastered right now.

You're going to be pleasantly surprised.

Very, very excited about that.

So that's coming very soon.

I'm writing my memoir.

I never.

I haven't said it enough interview.

So this is my first time saying that.

I'm actually the memoirs in.

In process.

And it's very, very, very cathartic.

It's been hard.

It's been very hard.

And I'm.

Yeah, I've typically in the past, I'll be like, no, don't say hard because find some other yummy.

Some berries and cherries.

No, it's hard.

It's hard work.

Okay.

Hard work.

And I'm excited for that, for that let's see, you know, and all the socials, all socials, Instagram, Ms.

Julie Black, the Tick Tock, the real Julie Black, all the Julie Black, just Google jelly with a U or bully with a J, depending on, like you or not on that day.

But ultimately, my main thing is when people ask me what's next, I often say, what's next is what's now?

And my third bloom is what's now.

And that's what's what I like to end with.

What's next is what's now.

I want you all to take all this in.

Oh, we're gonna take it in.

And so there you have it.

As we conclude today's episode, let's reflect on the now and the fullness, the fullness of love, the fullness of joy, and the full fullness of life that we have today.

Yes.

Thank you.

Thanks for having me.

Thank you for joining us.

Thank you for joining us.

This was wonderful.

So enlightening.

But it is definitely, abundantly clear that you will always be an inspiration for living life boldly, continuing to break barriers and using your voice and your platforms for good and for love and for just being full.

So thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Anytime.

Anytime.

Bye.

Thank you for joining us on this episode of My Third Bloom.

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Until next time, keep blooming and embracing the beauty of your third Bloom.

This is Trisha Blake signing off with peace, love, light and grace.