Are your daily devotions a checklist? Or are they organic? Barry and Joel discuss building a consistent, fruit-bearing devotional life without religious box-checking.

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CHAPTERS

00:00 Devotional Rhythm Struggles

01:22 Bullets and Barbecue Recap

03:30 Brotherhood and Support

05:44 Accountability and Spirit

08:03 Journaling and Recording

09:53 Fig Tree and Fruit

11:46 Fruits and Self Control

15:33 From Discipline to Rhythm

20:20 Avoid Box Checking

24:28 Tools and Bible Choices

29:04 Where to Start Reading

29:19 Pick a Solid Translation

30:29 Four Words Framework

32:13 Growth Through Journaling

36:27 Hearing God vs Checklist

41:06 Pruning the Noise

45:09 Fruit Bearing and Gratitude

48:29 Transferring Faith to Kids

51:34 Organic Growth Guardrails

56:01 Starting Line and Closing

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FatherSeekers helps fatherless fathers become better fathers.

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Do you struggle with finding a rhythm for your personal devotional life?

Truth is, we all do.

We're gonna dismantle the myth today, speak some truth, and give some guardrails in how you can improve.

This is Barry with FatherSeekers.

This is my co-host Joel McKeefry, and this is the podcast Teach Me to Father.

Joel, hey man, back again- We're

at it

… Barry Edgemon: for the monthly, uh, record-ing.

Yes, sir.

How's it going?

Doing well.

So let's jump right in because there's no way we're gonna finish this, but we're gonna squeeze a lot in because it's so deep, deep water stuff.

If we've talked to one guy over the period of our time together that we've coached, led, helped along, this has been, if not the number one, at least the top three conversation piece about how do I do this?

What do I do?

How's, how important is it, and why is it important?

So I wanna throw this softball to you about what happened this past weekend- Yeah … and how this whole thing evolved.

Let's go.

Go.

Yeah, I mean, uh, Called to Greatness, right?

Mm-hmm.

Group that started small, continues to grow.

Uh, we had our third annual Bullets and Barbecue.

Um, something that's near and dear to the heart, you know?

I mean- Mm-hmm … there's not much that gets better than bullets and barbecue.

Maybe if we can squeak bourbon in there at the end.

Yeah.

But, uh, maybe we can edit that out.

But, uh- Or

bourbon tasting at

the- Yeah, yeah … celebration.

Um, no, but it's an event that changes the look on how a spiritual brotherhood can look.

Mm.

You know, when I first came to Christ, I remember coming to church, coming to Christ and thinking like, "You know, I, I, I love this.

I, I love what I'm hearing, I love the wisdom I'm learning.

But these men, they'll, they'll never be my men.

You know, they'll never be my people.

These guys don't hunt, fish, camp, you know, drink bourbon."

And then I met the group, you know, the group of guys that's now the founders of Called to Greatness, the founders of School, the founders of the Tuesday, uh, theology class.

It's, it- It, it's God's hand at work to show me how wrong I truly was.

And, and what we did this weekend was, you know, nothing short of that.

It, it, it's a gathering of men, um, under one purpose.

We're there for Christ.

But changing the look on, on how you find Him, how you see Him, how you hear Him, and how you feel Him.

And, you know, a day that's designed around shooting, shooting all types of guns.

We saw some rare stuff there this weekend.

Um-

There may or- Definitely

there, there may or may not have been tannerite there.

Maybe.

I c- I can't-

Yeah

… Barry Edgemon: confirm or deny.

Yeah.

And, uh, the giggle switch that we, we learned about, you know, uh- Yep … that was pretty fun to shoot that.

Um, but yeah, good shooting, safe shooting.

Uh, anybody that's in the area, doing it next year, love to have you there.

Yeah.

Um, you know, look on school, figure out when it's gonna be.

Or you'll hear it.

Yeah.

It's, yeah.

We're there.

Yeah.

Plenty of people heard it.

Um, I think my father-in-law went home with two full gallon buckets of spent rounds, so.

Oh,

wow.

Yeah, definitely a- That's a lot … lot of shooting.

But it's great because I also witnessed Something that I didn't see in a prior time in my life, and that was male support, true male support.

We witnessed a, a gentleman show up, didn't feel comfortable shooting handguns, but he had a, uh, he had the shield out there from, uh, the Avengers- … Captain America.

And every time that I would, uh, go cold on the range, uh, allowing us to reset some of the, uh, plates up and whatnot, he was out there just bashing it with that shield.

And I think back five, 10 years, you would've heard the men that I was around laughing at this guy, picking on this guy, and I heard the exact opposite, and that was some of the beauty in it.

I heard support, true support from his brothers, and, and it made this guy's day in the fashion that he felt comfortable doing it.

And the conversations, you know, I got those headphones on that when you shoot, they go quiet, but when there's no shooting, they actually amplify the sound around you.

I get to hear all the conversations happening behind me.

Yeah.

And, and it was everything, right?

It was, it's biblical, it's husband questions, it's father questions, it's work questions.

It's all these questions that I think there once was a day in the circle that I surrounded myself with that you didn't feel confident or comfortable talking about.

Hmm.

And that, that's the beauty of what I saw.

And then we take that midday break.

We head up for some absolutely amazing food.

Hashtag Mark.

I mean-

Mark O.

You know.

He's a killer.

That guy does all right.

Yeah, he does.

Um, but some quality food, and then I put together a message for the men, um, something that near, near to the heart on accountability.

Uh, we can get into that in a bit here, but yeah, finished up by heading back down to the range, popping off those final rounds.

We actually picked up God's timing, right?

We, uh, we shut it down about a half hour early, which couldn't have been any better 'cause the winds picked up extremely heavy and the rain was coming in.

But, uh, I think we were home by 2:00, 3:00, back to my wife's arms, and it was a plentiful day.

Great day.

So talk about you, we always take a break in the middle of that, and you, you have been the speaker for the last three years on it.

Yeah.

So I think that's tradition now.

But what was your topic for that talk, and what drove you to that?

Yeah, I mean, the main topic was that accountability, um, and accountability starts first through the Holy Spirit is, is where my header was on that.

Um, I think in the last podcast, we spoke about needing that cadre, but first, it, it, it starts with your relationship with the Holy Spirit.

You know, though it's one God, three entities, people wanna separate them out.

I've heard of the Holy Spirit being it before, and that, that's far from the truth, you know?

Um-

Good theology there.

Yeah.

He's-

He, the relationship I have with the Holy Spirit has, has made me the man that I am today.

Mm.

He gives me my number one accountability.

You know?

Right.

When you get that little tickle in your heart that you know you shouldn't be doing it.

Yeah.

You know, I spoke about, um, I'm never gonna remember the word now.

It's akese?

It's, it's, uh, when you know what you should do and you do the opposite.

It's a Greek word.

Um, that's that Holy Spirit speaking to you.

You know what you should do.

You know what's right and wrong, and, uh, it's your ability to listen to the Holy Spirit that helps you to have a better understanding of, you know, that's, that's not a pool I wanna swim in.

Right.

I'm not, I'm not going down that road.

And, or, no, I do, I do need to, uh, move forward with this and, uh, you know, maybe that's holding another brother accountable.

Maybe that's holding yourself accountable, what have you.

How are you father, how are you, uh, husband?

But yeah, that relationship with the Holy Spirit, um, definitely is an impactor.

So I studied hard, really hard, on the topic, wrote down a few bullet points, and then actually did what I was, quote, unquote, "preaching to the men", which was listen to the Holy Spirit during the sermon to the men on what to talk about.

And, uh, accountability was the leading action that I feel is needed right now.

So let's go into that.

Like you said, your accountability with the Holy Spirit, and that's derived primarily from your conversation with him, your study, your reading, your recording- Yeah … of what he says.

I know that you and I are big journalers.

Mm-hmm.

Heard, I've heard a lot of young- younger fellas say, "I can't write." Well, sorry, but they record theirs digitally.

Yeah.

So that's great.

However you do it, great.

But it's important to record so that we can bo- go back and review.

Yeah.

And I think there are times- And you and I have talked about this at least where we get some really cool insights about, oh, I wish I could write that down right now.

Or we've been having our monthly meetings and we go, "Oh, we should be recording this." So to solve all that problem, what I did is I got one of these little things right here.

I got Plaud.

Not getting paid for this, I'm just saying it's really handy.

But recording everything now, and then I transfer that to my written journal, which they're- Yeah

all back in here.

So let's talk about, let's laser in on the accountability with the Holy Spirit through scripture reading, prayer, and however you record your conversations.

Not word for word, but I know there are some significant times that I'll be praying.

I'll be… I'll stop, read scripture, or I'll just be sitting, waiting to hear, and then something will come to me and I, I write that down, and then, then meditate on that and pray about that.

There's so much to talk about with prayer.

I don't wanna get into the mechanics of it.

That's another podcast in itself, but we can touch on that a little bit.

But primarily, let's put the background music on play right now, and here's the background music.

In, in Mark 11:12-14, Jesus is with the disciples.

He's walking.

The scripture says, "He became hungry, and he saw the fig tree, and he went to the fig tree, and the fig tree was in season. It looked like it had fruit, but it had no fruit."

Hmm.

So that is a prophetic word to Israel, but it's also a- an insightful lesson that we can hear.

In other… I believe in Luke, he talks, his anger was reflected in the narrative, and he was angry because the tree appeared to be fruitful by the healthy leaves.

It was in season to be fruitful, but it had no fruit.

And he cursed the tree, I believe, in Luke.

Mm-hmm.

Came by the next day, and it was dead.

So I wanna attack this topic from fruit bearing in our devotional life.

Okay?

So you rung the bell.

Our friend Scott wrote a devotional.

It's on Substack.

All that's, all that'll be in the, the notes.

It… I'll tell you, that was a nerve cruncher that you, you, you threw out there, because people are still talking about it.

I wanna talk about this idea of-

Of it being organic or religious, free-flowing and experiential versus box checking and I did it for today.

Mm.

Attack that for me

Yeah, I mean, I think you started out perfect by speaking of the fruit, right?

You know, um, in my message I spoke about the fruits of the spirit.

Mm.

And I think that that's the baseline, the foundation, the daily operation that you need to function out of is of the fruits of the spirit.

I- if we reverse engineer it, the last fruit of the spirit is self-control.

Whoa.

I always like starting from the back of the book and- Mm

working forward.

True.

I'm, I'm just that person.

Right.

Um, self-control is a lot of what I spoke on.

I could increase my self-control, and we all have something; booze, nicotine, women, money, that we lose that self-control on.

All forms of distraction.

Mine's food.

Yeah.

It's comfort.

Doesn't talk back to me, tastes good, feel good.

But it, it, it's empty fruit.

It's empty calories.

You're not gaining anything from it.

And what I was explaining is, and, and what you said about when Jesus arrived at that fig tree, everything looked as if it should be fruit bearing.

I see plenty of men like that every day.

They look as if they could be the fruit bearing tree.

And they claim to be fruit

bearing.

They claim to be the fruit bearing tree.

The issue is when you walk up to the tree and you don't find the fruit, or when the, the, the tree is sitting there alone and it's, it's not bearing the fruit.

You know, you and I have talked about this, if not 100,000 times, about, you know, character being behind closed walls-

Mm

or closed doors.

Yeah, sure.

And what I wanted to speak on, on, on Saturday at, at Bullets and Barbecue is who you are when nobody's looking, but also your ability to be who you need to be when everybody's looking.

And not who you need to be that you think you need to be, what this world says you need to be, but what the Word says that you should be.

And that's where I said the fruits of the spirit.

Humbleness.

We just said it earlier.

Everybody wants to be humble once you make it to a certain level.

That's a hard starting point, but everybody wants to be humble.

They claim to be humble, claim to be vulnerable.

But instead of being humble, they wanna show you the hammer.

"Oh, I'm good.

I'm clean.

I'm, no issues to be reported.

How are you doing?

I'm good." You know, it's that- It's that inner action to just tell your brother, "I'm good," and keep moving.

And I think that when you're in the right circle of guys, you get to that point where you can keep saying it, but we're seeing past it, and that includes me, and that includes you.

You need that group of men that are willing to hold you accountable.

But what we just spoke about off mic, and that was some gold, was that's only as good as you're willing to give

You can be a fruit tree.

That's great.

You can drink the water God gives us, soak up the sun, sit out there looking loud and proud.

But if you don't actually have that fruit, you are just a bush, you know?

And I don't wanna be no bush.

That's fair.

You know what I mean?

That's fair.

Yeah.

And,

uh-

So, so tell, tell us how over the years, being from day one when you met the group at Prohibition to where you are today as public speaker, carrying on the work at Discover Green Bay, successful husband, successful father, what was…

How did, how did scripture reading, prayer, and the recording and discussion of what you learned in those periods of time benefit you?

Yeah, that's, that's an easy one for me, because scripture reading when you first start, or when I first started, it definitely was just reading, and I'm, I'm not one to read.

Um, but then it became more than reading.

It became real.

It became a heart posture.

And something that kept showing up time after time was how Christ loved, and that was a hard one.

We talked about that in the last one.

That's tough.

It's tough, you know, because us men get built with such broad shoulders, but broad shoulders can hold more chips, and I'm not looking to have a chip on my shoulder.

I'm looking to love like Christ loved.

That's how we ended our last podcast.

Mm. And that's, that's where the scripture ties in.

Today on the Bible app, it's to love as Christ loved.

It's there.

It's, it's all around me, and I know what he's telling me.

And in order to love, it takes that humility.

It takes that discipline.

And I like that you said… I don't like it, I love that you said that it's not a daily checkbox.

"Oh, I did this good action today. We're clean for the day." No, no.

That's a 24/7.

That's from the first breath you take with your eyes open to the last breath you take with your eyes closed.

It's, it's a daily action, a daily routine that's built into you, that it stops becoming routine and it just becomes life, and that is what I strive for every day.

When did, as you read scripture, as you explored, learned, like, w- we're… Our group of guys is super big on theology, on interpreting scripture properly- Mm-hmm … reading, reading the right things, uh, with the scriptures, and trying to learn more deeply and broadly.

But how long did it take you from starting the process of reading and praying to get to a point where, where, okay, this is becoming easier now, and I know that it, it's growing from a discipline to an actual rhythm of life- Mm

where I'm moving into it?

Yeah.

How long did it take for that to happen?

I mean, for me, I would say two years.

Um, it's gonna be different for everybody, obviously.

But the more I was willing to unpack with myself through the word, and what I mean by that is I was never a writer either.

Mm. And now I've got books, pages, more than I know what to do with, of notes, times that I was speaking with Christ, times that I was happy, times I was sad, times I was angry.

And you mentioned it earlier, those are also only as good as you going back and reviewing, you know?

And it took that daily discipline before it started becoming-

Tacit knowledge in which I was able to always have that living in me and focus on some of the hyper-focused things that I was reading in the word and theology and the unpacking and the Bible studies and the devotionals and, like, what we read on the school platform and Tuesday night theology and Thursday night Bible study.

Like, it, it, it was all of those things coming together into this beautiful whole Christ-driven, Christ-centered person.

Would you be where you are right now

without a community of solid brothers?

Not even close

Right

Yeah

So to the guy who is starting the journey, who, who doesn't like to read, who… And there's ways to get around that, so don't use that for a weakening excuse, 'cause it only weakens your heart more and distracts you more

Mm-hmm

And I think that's what I wanna push across, is don't, don't let religious box-checking take place of organic growth.

Because you and I have talked h- I don't know how many times about being stuck on one scripture for, or one passage for days-

Mm

… Barry Edgemon: rather than trying to stay up with the Bible app, reading through to y- I, I, I almost think sometimes that the Bible app becomes a distraction and a crutch.

I almost think that, but I, I'm not thr- I support them.

Every month I pay, Heather and I do, because we believe in it, and we've gained great-

Mm

… Barry Edgemon: insight from it and great benefit.

However, I think sometimes e- at least for me, I'm, I read through the Bible every year, and it's difficult sometimes to stay on track.

You get behind.

Yeah

And, and I had to stop doing-

The, the studies where you invite people to be a part, the devotionals and comment, I thought, "Oh my God, this is becoming boring and an, uh, a weight around my neck."

And I think that's a good thing because it's the Lord moving us to a place- Mm … where He wants us to spend more of our limited time with Him and focus more on what He's saying, rather than being distracted and feel like we gotta walk through and do all these little box checkings to try to get the guys that are lagging behind to come on up beside you.

Look, they are or they're not.

Mm.

They gotta do it.

Yep.

I wanna give you four words Do you have something else to say about that?

I was just gonna mention that, you know, my grandpa, my late grandfather, Marine, um, one of a kind, he … I mean, in a simple term, but he would always say, "The tool is only as good as the man holding it."

Come on.

That's great.

And that's, that's the Bible app.

Mm-hmm.

If you're just opening it to get that number on the top to go up one more day that you've been on it-

Streaking, yeah

… Joel McKeefry: checking off boxes.

You're listening to it on the way to work, but you're also watching this, wondering if the fish are biting, thinking about what you're gonna do at work.

That's not what being a Christ follower is about.

No.

And, and that's what I spoke about this weekend.

It, it's funny, it's definitely not a Biblical movie, but it's a big, big f- I'm a big fan of it, uh, The Book of Eli.

Yeah, great movie.

Um, yeah, great movie.

Love

it.

But Denzel Washington at one point is asked, you know, why, why he was, to a degree, okay that, you know, spoiler alert here, the Bible gets taken from him, why he's okay with it.

And he said, he goes, "I've been reading this for so long that I forgot to do the actions in which it was teaching me." Hmm.

And that rings a bell with me so much.

You can read it all day, all day, and still not grasp at what it's actually telling you to do.

That's the difference.

That's golden.

So have the tool-

Use-

but know how to use it.

Yeah.

And know- and I encourage people to read an actual solid- Yeah … like, um, the words, like I read, I've got to do that more because I feel lazy when I read the Bible app.

Again, love the Bible app.

Huge.

Thousands and thousands and thousands of helpful devotionals on every subject, every topic.

Mm-hmm.

But I think there's a place where we come where we, we must get away from the boundaries and the framework of that as we mature.

Also, I mean, anything that you're watching on your phone allows to pop up a text message, pop up a Facebook message.

Exactly.

So good.

Real quick, what, the Bible you gave me, I think it'd be good for the men to know, what was that, what type of Bible is that?

'Cause one thing I love about that, it's packed for this weekend, going camping with the wife, sitting fireside, can't wait to read it.

It has the scripture, but it also has notes.

It's a study Bible.

Okay.

It's the NIV Discipleship Study Bible- Okay … and it's focused on discipleship, like pulling all of the framework out of every page-

Okay

for discipleship.

Yeah.

Now, let's hit that real quick and then, then jump back into this.

You can find s- great, great resources and study Bibles everywhere.

Or if you're just getting into the game, then the Bible app is certainly great for you, and it's great for people that come along behind you and alongside you, and even your kids as well.

There's a whole, there's a whole section for kids.

Another great resource to use also is, uh, BibleProject.

Mm. Yes.

All the video.

The kids love them.

Adults love them.

They're actual- they're so good, and they teach you.

We'll put those links in the bottom.

Yeah.

And I'm not looking to go off rails, but I, I, you know, you were, called me the co-host, so I wanna-

No, jump

in

put, put back to you real quick.

So for somebody going out to buy, let's call it a hard-sided Bible, paper book Bible, how, how would- Hard copy … how, how would you educate where to start?

What one to grab?

I mean, 'cause there's also, you know, wolf in sheep clothing type literature out there.

Yeah.

How, how would you educate?

'Cause I mean, I, I had it great.

I had you, I had the other men, um- L-

Lord

… Joel McKeefry: to, to walk me through what one-

Yeah

… Joel McKeefry: to grab.

How, how would you?

To your point, there's a lot of BS translations out there.

Yeah.

And they're not translations, they're copies or, for example, and I will, I'll get hammered for this and I'll gladly take it, uh, but one of the worst pa- one of the worst copies, um, hijacked copies of some scripture that you could ever buy is the Passion Translation.

Mm-hmm.

It's horrible.

I've researched it.

I know.

I'm telling you.

And, and the guys I use for my research sources- Horrible.

Don't use it.

Terrible.

The, the ones that have the top rating, like, and they're rated on easily understood, easily, how easy are they to read.

They're written, most of the good translations are written between sixth and eighth grade level- Okay

so anybody could read them.

Mm-hmm.

Really, the top translations that I recommend or are ESV, NIV,

NLT, um, and that is, um, the English Standard Version.

NIV is New International Version.

NLT is New Living Translation.

And each of those are written in different styles.

Mm-hmm.

So if you like a storybook- Mm-hmm … New Living Translation.

If you like word-for-word, NIV or ESV.

So those are the top three that I would recommend.

Now, I read out of the, the, the Tree of Life version, which is the Messianic version, which anybody that knows me is I'm into that loop right now because I'm, I'm using that to interpret scripture for myself- Mm-hmm … and study it in the original languages, Greek, Aramaic- Mm

Hebrew, with primacy on, on the Greek and the Hebrew.

Um, point is, if you, if you're looking for a good translation, I've heard it said many times the best translation is the one that you'll read.

I say that tongue in cheek because it's not, because some people will pick up a bad translation.

Yeah.

But if you know someone in your life that, that reads and studies scripture, ask them-

Okay

"Help me."

Good.

" Barry Edgemon: Show me the way."

Yeah.

If you really are serious about that- Uh, people can email me

Yeah

And you and I'll sit back, we'll refer, we'll re-

That's what I was gonna get at Yeah You know what I mean?

Like, this, this is good.

Um, I was blessed to have guys like you in my life, and, and for those starting out, for those that are first time tune-ins, you know, okay, this is all good, but where do I start?

I wanna get the paper back, you know?

I- where do I go?

So I appreciate you sharing that.

A great place, too, is if you're in a community of faith, talk to some solid men or your pastor-

Yep

… Barry Edgemon: and hear, like- Yep … what does your pastor preach out of?

Yeah Like, what version does he use?

Amen.

Because he, if he's a, any sort of evangelical, s- tongue in cheek I'll say this, charismatic Pentecostal, um, they're going to have a good translation because they think it's important to share the scriptures as they're written in context and content, historical data, grammatical, all of that.

Mm-hmm.

So I just said a lot that probably doesn't matter to you if you're starting out, m- but it's really super important.

And if you start out electronically, get on the Bible app.

Yeah, for sure.

And there's, there's 2,800 or 3,500 different languages, and there's hundreds of different versions of the Bible.

Click through.

Google the top five most- Mm … purchased translations, and you'll see the top five most.

Yep.

Don't use the Passion Translation, it's trash.

Just, ugh.

Thank

you.

Okay, I'm gonna give you some words here.

Yeah.

And I want to, this is a process.

I'm gonna give you the four words, I'm gonna tease you with a direction to go, and then I wanna talk about-

We talked about organic, and we're gonna give some guardrails for organic in a minute.

Mm-hmm.

But organic meaning things are healthy-

Mm

… Barry Edgemon: growing, fruit producing.

We all produce fruit in our lives.

The, the tree that Jesus cursed produced n- no fruit, and it was bare.

Mm. So it was cursed and thrown in the fire.

A lot there.

Here are the four words.

Number one, growth.

Two, pruning.

Three, fruit bearing.

Four, transference.

I'll remind you of these as we go.

I want you to go back to growth, and here's, here's the teaser

How do I grow

Rooting myself in scripture

How do I find a growth pattern in scripture

To proceed forward in my walk with Christ.

Because you've already established that walking with Christ, your, your elevation incline happened because of prayer, scripture reading, recording, and having conversation with other people about it in community of faith.

So there are four big pieces.

Mm-hmm.

Reading, praying, recording, and having conversation in community of faith.

Those are all important.

But how, how did the growth process start for you where you could see root actually taking place in the process?

Yeah.

Slow and smooth.

Um-

Understanding that you don't understand God's timeline.

Um, we said at last podcast open and broken.

It's all where you start.

If you're gonna open the book pretending that you have all the answers to life, you're not gonna get much out of the book

If you're gonna open the book understanding that you have failed, that you have weaknesses, that you have slipped, that you have fal- that you are looking for more than this world can provide you, you will find everything that you need

Okay, let's go into that for a minute.

Let's go into the wisdom piece, which you're a big wisdom guy, I know that.

Yeah You're always doing that thing.

You're always knowledge, discernment, insight, discretion, all that discipline, restraint.

You're doing all that.

Um, in, in all of that, in the, in the growth, in that growth process, in pursuing that, and looking for those things, what was the first thing that you can remember that you go, "Hmm, I need to apply that to begin the growth process in a said area"?

In other words, what you're reading in scripture is seed for the soul, and the proof for that, that context for that, that statement, is that 2 Timothy tells us that the Holy Spirit breathed this word out to men who wrote it.

Mm-hmm.

And these are holy anointed words.

So if they're the holy anointed words that came from the Holy Spirit through men, then certainly the author of the book knows how to interpret the book

How did, how did that process of growth start for you, and how did you recognize, "Wait a minute, I'm onto something here"?

Yeah.

Right?

Um, for sure journaling.

I mean, for sure.

Um, taking His words from His paper and putting them onto my paper, and I mean that both physically writing them down, but then the paper of my heart- Yeah … the paper inside me.

It's, uh

I have a prayer chair at home.

I, I'm a dark room prayer.

Right.

I, you know-

Yep

comfy, set it all up.

Right.

Have a pipe in there every once in a while.

Right.

Get a good smell going.

Got one light beam down at my journal, at my Bible, and I stay

Quiet more than I speak and listen more than I speak.

And the journaling helped me to write a word.

I have a friendship that I was the best man in his wedding this year because of a word that God gave me in that time, and it was a name, Eric.

That's it.

I was actually praying about some other issues I had going on in life and I, and all I heard, "Eric." That's it.

And I said, "No, no, you didn't hear the question right.

I asked you this." And he, "Eric."

The journaling has helped for me to slow down, review the journaling.

I come back with a red pen or a highlighter and circle keywords that resonate with me that I had written down earlier that day, earlier that week.

Oh, okay.

And that helped me to slow down and be at a speed that he would have me be at.

Not my own speed, but his

So you hit on a thing here that I, I don't wanna pass over quickly because

There's lots of people today who say, "God told me." Mm-hmm.

Okay?

And I, I believe, and I want you to, I want you to speak to this.

I believe that as men of God, at salvation, the scripture tells us that, that Holy Spirit comes in and he is the presence and nature of God in us to, to, first of all, which is beautiful, I just read this a while back, days, and it exploded in my mind again, that w- that when we cry out, "Abba Father", it's the spirit within us first that cries that out.

Mm. Otherwise, we couldn't cry it out.

Mm-hmm.

So, so the Holy Spirit is speaking to you, to your heart- Mm-hmm … to your mind, and you've recorded his words- Mm-hmm … writing those down based on what you've read, you've studied, been exposed to through prayer.

Talk about how, how reading scripture and praying and journaling is not about a checklist, a wish list, or a preferred thing, but how God actually turns, he causes your mind and heart to repent-

Yeah

of your way-

Mm-hmm

… Barry Edgemon: which is not sinful, but he's returning you back to, "Here's the direction I want you to go in." Talk about that.

Yeah.

I think-

W- looking at the paper, the physical paper as a blank slate.

When I first started, I was writing everything.

I mean, I had pages on, uh, one scripture, on one chapter, pages

And that's where I was at.

That's where he had me at.

And now it's become more of a process of there's times I might have five words on that paper, but those five words are exactly what I needed for the day.

It's my daily bread.

Mm.

It's what he wants me to sit on, focus on

But it's again, there, there's something like there's a lot of r- uh, this, this is me looking at a mirror here, a lot of running the mouth

And not enough listening.

And that's really what I want to get out is, 'cause I remember being in those spots of, man, I'm just not hearing, I'm not hearing, I'm not hearing.

But I was, I was so busy yelling that out.

I'm trying to speak, but you gotta let me speak it.

This is like a friendship, right?

No good friendship is just a lopsided one person talking.

That's not a friendship.

Yeah.

You know?

It's not a conversation- Yeah … it's a, it's a dial- a, a monologue.

Yeah.

Yeah.

The quieter that I've gotten in life, the more blessed I've been able to hear His voice.

And, and how that tied into scripture for me, it's the Bible is, is my Rosetta Stone.

It's, I didn't understand how to hear the words that He wanted to tell me.

So the more scripture that I read, the more I was able to understand what He was telling me, what He was showing me, what He was putting into me, what the Holy Spirit was moving me towards.

But first you have to have the context to understand what He's telling you.

You know?

Again, you're not gonna give a baby a T-bone steak, right?

First you have to be able to eat the baby food.

Hmm.

And that's the process that you need to be willing to sit in with Him and grow with Him.

Everybody wants all the knowledge at once.

We couldn't handle it

But our daily bread, that's all that we need to ask for.

And, and that's where the beauty became real for me.

And I told you this the other day off mic of becoming more quiet

has become such a passion of mine because the beauty and the wisdom that I'm able to find, hear, see, feel has become profoundly more.

So you've already jumped to the second word, and I want you to expand on it more a little further.

First w- w- word was growth, second word pruning.

You just talked about the pruning piece, so delve into that a bit more about Jesus says, "Don't, don't pray like the Gentiles." Mm. Which means not just rambling and babbling, but praying foolishness about ignorant things that have no matter-

In His economy based on who He is, His character and nature-

Yeah

but also as Father in heaven, but also as, as He taught the disciples to pray.

So you're babbling things and worried about things that I have no issue-

Mm

… Barry Edgemon: and I have no interest in, so you're a babbling Gentile.

Talk about how you got that pruning piece from where you went, "He's not speaking, He's not speaking, He's not speaking," to you stopped and listened and you begun to hear.

Yeah.

I mean, you once said to me, and I've, I've said it to many of the men that I disciple, God knows all, right?

So when you're in prayer, I used to get into these long, extensive prayers, "Hey, God, it's Joel," that's J-O-E-L.

Um, "Tuning into you here from my address, da, da.

Uh, I wanna pray for this brother.

It, it's this one.

His name is this, and so he's got this thing going on, and, uh, and he…" Whoa, whoa, whoa, player.

I know.

Hey, I wanna pray for my brother, Barry-

That's good.

That's

good … and his healing.

It's good.

Move on.

Move on.

I know.

Yeah.

I know your heart.

I knew what you were gonna say before you said it.

Just move on.

Yeah.

So the pruning process for me came in the line of, you know, I- I'm gonna make it earthly, right?

Like, huge outdoorsman.

Trying to hone in on my green thumb.

I had this blackberry bush last year, and it looked really… It looked like it should be super fruitful.

Actually, two years ago.

It looked like it should be super fruitful.

I think we got, like, 10 blackberries off this thing, kinda tart.

Then I read that you need to prune it.

And I'm like, "Oh, I don't wanna go cut this thing.

Look how pretty it looks.

Look how big it looks.

Look how fruitful it looks." But I did it, and go out there with the shears and I cut off, I think it said two-thirds of the bottom branches and et cetera.

That thing flourished last year.

Flourished.

We couldn't believe it.

Couldn't keep up on the blackberries.

My daughter's out there just plop, plop, plop, plop.

It doesn't seem right to have to cut away things that feel like they need to be there.

But what that pruning process does, both in our life and in this world, is those other branches were hindering the main branches from the nutrients that they needed.

Hmm.

So once I started doing that in my daily life, removing those people, those actions, those unneeded

tasks, that's when the nutrients that God was providing were able to nourish to the point that they were meant to nourish.

Does that make sense?

Truth.

Yeah.

Our friend Jeff, Jeff Gels.

You know Jeff?

Yeah.

He's Tuesday night.

Um, big, huge, I'm a big, huge fan of Jeff.

He's, uh, he's the one that led me into teaching me about the Messianic view of, of scripture and history interpretation and, and, um, just, just a brilliant man.

But he said the other day, and now here's the phrase I want you to address, fruit bearing.

Uh, Jeff said, Jeff said, "Most people spend their time praying for stuff and problems." He said, "Don't even pray, just mention it and go on," like you said a while ago, "and then ask the Lord." He, he would say, "Ask the Ruach HaKodesh, the Holy Spirit- Mm-hmm … ask Him to open your eyes to what He has for you today, the opportunities that's coming your way, uh, where He's going to lead you for something down the road.

Pray for that and not the problems." And it, and it came to me, and this is where I want you to go with this answer, fruit bearing.

It came to me that we are always continuously praying out of our immaturity, our trauma, our hurt, our woundedness, our need or desire, and wasting our time and prayer because God already knows these things.

Wouldn't it be better if we prayed, and this is the first time I really understood the depth of lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Mm-hmm.

Don't, don't let me be tempted to stay where I'm at, but let me go where you want me to go.

Talk about that fruit bearing.

Yeah, I mean-

I don't wanna sleep on the fact that, you know, the word does say, "Come all to me who are weary and heavy burdened."

Yeah, I mean, they're… Give it to him.

There's nothing he can't handle.

There's nothing he can't take.

But don't, don't live in that.

He, he gets it.

He knows right where you are.

He also knows why you're there, which oftentimes is our own self, right?

Where… I, I smiled when you said it, where it became beautiful for me, where this change came, where this, where this became a passion, a motivation for daily life.

Gratitude.

When I stopped looking at the negative- Hmm … and started, looking at the positive, my life changed

How did that change this whole growth process, this whole looking?

We look for things, w- whatever we look for, we find.

I believe that.

That's the way we're designed.

So when you're reading scripture, you're looking for something.

If you're looking with gratitude and hope and a humble heart, you find really what you're looking for because those of us who are disciples of Christ, who have yielded our hearts to Him, and He resides in us through the Holy Spirit, our pursuit is for those things that please Him.

Yeah.

I mean, well, my favorite verse, Matthew 6:33, "Seek first the Kingdom of the Lord-"

Yeah

all of His righteousness." Yeah.

That's where I think it became my searching mechanism or w- what I was searching for.

Seek first His Kingdom, right?

That's good.

Last word, probably the most important concluding with this list.

We talked about growth, pruning, fruit bearing.

Last word, transference.

Transferring our spirituality and our spiritual growth and heritage that we've, we've built and learned and had imparted and placed in us to our children.

Deuteronomy 6 talks about the Shema

Pray this over your kids Mm … pray this, teach your kids this.

Talk about the importance of how we transfer who we are spiritually, how we got there, and how we need to transfer to the next generation where they need to go and how they get there.

Yeah.

I think that, I mean, we can, again, revert back to where this kind of all started with the fruitless tree, right?

Good.

You can't, you can't feed your kid from a fruitless tree yourself, and that's where you're gonna get discovered more than ever.

Mm.

Your kids'll find it.

Ooh.

Especially when they leave home.

Oof.

And-

in my daily actions

I try to show that fruit to my daughter of what the sacrifice, the surrender, the humility has given me, what the pruning has given me, where the growth is.

And she says it all the time, nine-year-old little girl, "Dad, how far you've come."

Hmm.

Can't buy that.

And, and now she, she points out the pruning.

"Well, Dad, I mean, you used to get angry all the time. You used to yell about this or that. You used to always just point out, you know, how many people cut you off in a day, and now you don't do that."

Hmm.

So she's seen the fruits that's coming of it.

My daddy has a big job.

He's the director of partnerships.

Like she, we, we had an event on, uh, Tuesday night over at Dave & Buster's and, uh, it's a, an event that I put together and you could see her walk around with this, not prideful, but proudness of my dad put this together.

All these people are here because he put this together.

She sees the fruit of my actions.

So to your question, the transfer for me was in the actions.

Every day, that character of who you are behind the closed doors, the four walls, who are you emulating?

So teaching, showing, mentoring, coaching along, and let them experience as well.

All right, so I'm going to give you five sentences.

These are organic guardrails

Because we want this growth with the Lord to be organ- It won't be religious.

It won't be r- by religion.

It won't be by checking boxes.

Uh, many people wonder why God goes silent.

He is not silent.

He just rejects religion.

And if you don't hear anything in this podcast, like you've dropped some super golden nuggets and we'll highlight those in the highlights, but that's another one of those that God ignores the religious approach to him.

Mm.

He's antagonistic to it.

Read, read the Gospels.

To land the ship, I wanna give you five organic one-sentence guardrail, and I want you to expound on it and instruct us on that.

These are organic guardrails for your spiritual growth.

Number one, organic is not spontaneous.

Mm-hmm.

Do you want me to go in between them?

I, I do.

Go in between

Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, that's, being that slow and smooth, smooth is fast.

Having that understanding of how you need to operate.

It, it's not spontaneous, like you said.

It's not just a flash in the pan.

It's a thought-out process.

It's a heart posture that you live out of and a, uh, operating model that you use every day.

Second, number two, organic is not private.

Yeah.

We could, I mean- All day … are we starting a new podcast here?

All

day, yeah.

It's like, okay.

Um, yeah, humility.

Yeah.

I mean, uh, you gotta be open.

You gotta be willing to hear that you were wrong, gotta be willing to take advice.

I'm gonna keep it there.

I could go on that one all day.

I, I think private also means not in solitude

Well, let's leave it there.

Number three, organic is not feeling driven

Yeah, that's a tough one, right?

I mean, every day we wanna operate out of our feelings.

This person hurt me, this person screwed me over, this person, you know, didn't say- God, God

didn't answer my

prayer like I asked him to Yeah.

I didn't, I didn't, I didn't hear from him today and that,

understanding that Feelings, somebody once wise to me said, you know, "Don't make a long-term decision over a short-term problem."

Mm.

That's where I'll end that one with.

Yep.

So, so feeling like God's ignoring you is not really-

Yeah

… Barry Edgemon: yeah, that's foolishness- Yeah

'cause He, He can't.

Number four, organic is not formless.

Unpack that for me.

Organic is not formless means that it's not happy-go-lucky, bounce around, a do it today, not tomorrow-

Yeah

… Barry Edgemon: but I'm consistent.

Yeah.

So organic is not formless, it's consistent.

Talk about that.

Yeah, I mean, consistency is king, right?

I mean, I, I, I, I feel like I keep saying this, but I once heard from another person that, you know, the hardest thing to fake in life is to be a Christian.

And, and I think that's it, because if it, if it's not in the heart, and if it's not an operating system, you're, you're gonna stumble, you're gonna fall.

I mean, you're gonna stumble and fall all the time, but it's, if you're faking it, you're gonna get found out, you know?

And understanding that it's not always unicorns and rainbows, it's- Mm

you know, it's daily actions, daily bread like we spoke of.

It's pruning that's needed.

You know, it's, it's, it's finding the beauty in hardship, understanding that, you know, righteousness is on the other side.

Number five, this will be easy for you.

Number five, and it ties somewhat to number two, but number five is organic is not a solo sport.

Yeah.

Community of faith.

Yeah.

Men discuss what's going on.

Find your cadre.

Find your cadre.

Find your men.

Open up.

All right, so wrap us up, shut us down.

Give us a couple of words of wisdom to move forward to the guy who's starting the journey, trying to, to start this, this spiritual transformation journey.

I'm brand new to this, at least the part of developing my spirituality through reading, praying, journaling, and discussing it with other men.

I'm, I'm in that process, starting fresh.

What are a couple words of wisdom, nuggets you could give?

Yeah.

Find your starting line.

Oh, it's golden.

Golden.

Yep.

Nobody starts a marathon in the middle.

Find your starting line.

Understand where you're at.

Be willing to walk up to that starting line.

You know, find His Word, like you said, whether it's the Bible app, paperback version.

Find His Word that speaks to you.

Find your time to

Be quiet, be humbled, and find your men that are willing to help you along the entire journey Golden, hit on this a bit, 'cause we've got a couple of minutes left

Talk about the stress and the pressure of feeling like you've gotta do the same thing every day at a certain time- Yeah … a certain way, because we're all, all of us are in different seasons of life, and even in our own seasons, we have conflicts or offsets.

Talk about that.

Yeah.

The perfective form- performance piece of that.

Yeah, it, it shouldn't be work, it should be worship.

It, it's- Good … it's, you know, I used to preach stand on my mountain, morning routine.

I, I brought this up at Bullets and Barbecue, and-

Mm-hmm

… Joel McKeefry: I love that Mark had that recording of it, 'cause that, that, that's where that passion was really driving in, of I have to's versus I get to's.

I've heard many a smart man talk about that point, so I won't go too far on that.

But it's-

Have that routine, yes, but don't make that routine the death of you.

You know?

Make sure that you're doing the actions in which you're reading.

Make sure you're sitting quiet in His Word.

Make sure that you're dedicating time to your growth, to your growth as a man, your growth with Christ, your growth in the Word, to the understanding, and from that point forward, life doesn't necessarily become easier, but your relationship with Christ becomes stronger.

So trust

The Spirit of God in our heart

Mm-hmm

… Barry Edgemon: trust the words that He inspired and ensured was written properly

Yep

Trust his teaching as you respond and ask him to help you know.

Yes.

And then ask him to stay in step with where he's leading you.

Yeah.

We could have gone a couple hours on some of these sidetracks, but maybe for another time.

Yep.

Thanks, man.

Thank you.

Good again.

A good, a good, a great one.

So guys, this is Barry and Joel with Father Seekers, and this is the podcast Teach Me to Father.

Y- you heard Joel talk about the school platform, skool.com/fatherseekers.

It's a free community.

There's content there.

There's guys just like Joel who are there, who are in it, creating conversation, and there are courses on there too that are free, and some that you can purchase.

Join at skool.com/fatherseekers.

This is Barry Edgemon with Father Seekers, and my co-host Joel McKefrey, and this is the podcast Teach Me to Father