Welcome to another inspiring episode of Late Boomers! We’re your hosts, Cathy Worthington and Merry Elkins, and today, we’re diving into one of the most universal—and challenging experiences: how to rebuild a meaningful life after loss. Whether it’s the loss of a loved one, a career, or a dream, these moments can shake us to our core. But as we discuss with our extraordinary guest, Chanoa Inez, these experiences can also become powerful catalysts for transformation and new purpose.

Chanoa is the author of Dream On and the founder of a unique personal branding program. She joins us to share her moving story of sudden loss, the emotional journey that followed, and the tools that helped her not just survive, but thrive.

Key Takeaways

• Grief affects more than just your emotions; it can impact your health in unexpected ways.
• Joy and happiness are not the same; joy is an energized, authentic state that can’t be faked.
• Healing starts with self-love: treat yourself with the kindness and compassion you offer to friends.
• Meditation and spending time in nature are powerful tools for introspection and renewal.
• Reinvention is possible at any age. Your desires are there for a reason, and it’s never too late to pursue them.
• Baby steps matter. Taking small actions can break through fear and open the door to possibility.
• Cultivating your personal brand begins with your essence and self-understanding, not with external image alone.

Feeling inspired to start your own journey of reinvention? Here’s what you can do next:

• Subscribe to Late Boomers on your favorite podcast platform and YouTube so you never miss an empowering story!
• Check out Chanoa’s website at chanoainez.com and her book Dream On (available on Amazon, Audible, Apple Books, and Kobo).
• Try Chenoa’s exercise: write yourself a love letter and keep it close for those days when confidence feels shaky.
• Remember you can always reinvent, no matter your age or circumstance. Reinvention truly is your birthright!

Thank you for joining us on Late Boomers. If today’s episode moved you, share it with someone you care about. We’ll see you next time with more stories about thriving and dreaming at every stage of life!

— Cathy & Merry

Hello and welcome to Late Boomers, the podcast that celebrates living your best life after 50 and sometimes discovering that your most meaningful chapters are just beginning.

That's right. And we are your hosts. I'm Merry Elkins and Cathy Worthington. And today we're talking about something that so many people face at some point in life, how to rebuild a meaningful life after loss.

Loss comes in many forms. It could be the loss of a partner, a career, a dream, or a chapter of life you thought would last forever.

That is so true. And both Cathy and I know something about that personally. When a big loss happens, there's often a period where you're just simply trying to find your footing again.

Yeah.

But over time, something remarkable can happen. You know, you begin to rebuild and imagine a future again.

That's true. And our guest today has spent years helping people rediscover joy and purpose and identity after life changing loss.

She's the author of Dream on and the founder of a personal branding program that helps people reconnect with their purpose.

Please welcomeChanoa Inez.

Welcome to Late Boomers. We're so glad you're here.

We sure are.

We are sure glad you're here. So, Chanoa, what was life like in the years following your loss? And what were the biggest emotional challenges you faced during that time?

Well, for one, it was. You know, any loss is difficult when you lose someone who's so close to you. But for me, it was, I would say it was extra difficult at time because I didn't have any tools for resilience, the kinds of emotional tools I have now. You know, this is before I ever meditated or did anything like that. So I was in my 20s, actually, and it was a sudden loss. I was living with my boyfriend from Montenegro, and I went on vacation and didn't want to come back. We were living in Miami at the time, so we agreed we'd go the next summer for vacation, but we would essentially move out and have everything set up to try and run our businesses from there. And if we didn't like it, we had that option to return easily or we then, you know, make a life over there.

But unfortunately, less than 24 hours into our move, he passed away. He just, he didn't wake up from his sleep. And it was just so, you know, it was just extra jarring.

Right.

You don't expect that that age. He was older than me, but still young, healthy, very energetic. And, you know, it was a clot. We had no idea he had a clot. And yeah, it was quite jarring especially I think because it was the first time in my life up until then that everything felt perfect. The night before that happened, it felt like suddenly just everything in life was just put into place. So, yeah, as you can expect, it was a pretty dark period followed. And I feel like in many ways I kind of regressed because I kind of just, I didn't really care anymore and it was more like caring about myself, you know.

And I realized, you know, it's so important to obviously honor and, you know, treasure the people we love. But I'd really put myself on the back seat there and I, I wasn't really so good to myself during that period. So I kind of threw myself into the grave.

Yeah. Happens to a lot of people. And many people feel so stuck after a major loss.

Yeah.

So what helped you begin to move forward and imagine a future again?

Yeah, thankfully. I say thankfully now. I started having a lot of health challenges and I didn't know that they were related to grief. And the good news about that is I. Nothing would work, nothing conventional. So that's what got me into, you know, meditation, yoga. I was just trying everything and anything to try and bring back the vitality. So I suddenly had quite a few food allergies that I'd never had before.

Food sensitivities? Yes. It was, you know, it was pretty jarring. It's just like one thing after the other. I, I would get sick often for a while when I would never get sick at all. And you know, basically things that would happen that wouldn't maybe so be so difficult for somebody else, they lasted much longer for me. Like I had salmonella poisoning and I ended up being in hospital for a week with an irregular heartbeat. And it was like, okay. After I came out of the hospital then I was.

Had even more food related issues. So many different things I couldn't eat. Yeah. So it was limiting and I tried everything that I went on a vegan diet and then that would be complicated because I couldn't. I suddenly was allergic to all these different types of nuts and soy. So you go to a vegan restaurant, it's basically all nonsense. Soy.

Yeah. So what was the step that helped you to move forward? How did you recognize this?

And yeah, I didn't know it was grief related because I thought at that time I just assumed whatever current stressors I had in my life were, must have been, you know, contributing to it because I knew it was stress related to some degree because it just didn't make sense to me. Why would all these things just come out of nowhere? But all these things, I really prized that I, I did all this. Different acts, meditation and other modalities because they helped me. They basically helped me survive. But I was wondering, like, why nothing was completely changing the picture. And that didn't really start to change until I moved to Los Angeles. When I moved to Los Angeles, I, you know, the new scenery, I kind of shook up my environment and I started to see that I was. I had a victim mindset and that I had it for a long time.

So that I was like, I was seeing my role in this whole.

Well, loss changes your mindset too, right?

And that loss and how sudden it was, it just kind of cemented that victim mindset for me because that's just like, well, why did this happen to me? Why did this happen to us? So moving here changed it. And then it, you know, it took a few years as these things go, and I started realizing, you know, I was missing that self love piece number one, because I said I did love myself, but I was surrounding myself with people who, you know, it wasn't loving to myself to have these people be the closest people to me in my life. And once I realized that, things started changing very quickly. And then I committed to changing as if it was a full time job. So on top of my business, I would spend, you know, three, four hours a day in meditation. There was a little bit of a year of that. It was just like, it just felt like I have to figure this out. And I, I did reverse all of the health issues, except, you know, the tree nuts are lighter now.

I can have one or two here and there, but I'm sure that will go away too. So it's just, it's dramatic to see how much I change. Even looking pictures, pictures of myself in Montenegro, you know, in my late 20s, and I, I look younger now than I look then. I was just carrying all this grief and I, you know, it's a thing that happens to a lot of people after they've gone through something difficult. It's so easy to get stuck in that in between phase where you feel like, okay, I'm on solid footing, but no, you're actually kind of stuck in limbo. And then you start to dream smaller because you don't want to lose. And that's what, that's what happened to me. That was my experience.

And it took me, you know, a long time. And when I realized it, it's an everyday thing.

Isn't really is.

But when I realized it was so jarring because I realized, wow, I just walked out of that cloud of grief. And then my next thought was, I have to write a book, because it doesn't have to take anybody that long. I just couldn't see it.

So, Chanoa, you talk about prioritizing joy over happiness. What does that mean? And why do you emphasize joy instead of happiness?

Yeah, you know, I still use the word happiness, but to me, they're two very different things. Because for much of that time, you know, after the initial period of grief, if you ask me if I was happy, I said I would tell you I'm happy, and I thought I was happy. But I think happy is a very logical answer. And we can kind of talk ourselves into believing that we're happy, whereas joy, it's. It's energized. It's an energized form of happiness. You can't fool yourself into thinking you're feeling joy when you're not.

That's true.

That's interesting distinction. And how can someone begin to reconnect with joy when they're still grieving or feeling uncertain about their future?

Well, definitely not in the early days. Um, but after that initial period, I think it, you know, it helps to spend time in nature. It really helps to start treating yourself like a friend, getting really vigilant about the thoughts you're allowing yourself to have about yourself. You know, that internal dialogue, or if it would be completely inappropriate, you know, for Merry to say to Cathy and vice versa, then that cannot be a thought you're having toward directing towards yourself. Right? Yeah, but I think nature really helped. And, you know, it's debatable whether I should have stayed in Europe. I stayed in Europe all those years after he passed. And some people were like, go.

Go back to the States. And I think one of the things that helped me was that I was surrounded by nature all the time. So, you know, I spent so many times on hikes and long walks and going to the beach. And in a way, it is difficult because you're the. There's not a lot to block out that pain you're feeling, and that can feel really intense. But at the same time, there's, you know, this kind of reset energy that helps you reset and get a bit more introspective.

Well, let's talk about your book. Dream on. What inspired you to write it, and who did you most think? Who would you think it would help the most?

Was certainly people who are grieving from a loss, but the loss doesn't necessarily have to be a person. You know, I have a friend who's in tech sales, and unfortunately, he was laid off three times last year. And, you know, it's just like, yeah, any situation where there's this dream you have, there's something that's so important to you, and then you have this rug pulled from beneath you. So that kind of loss or upheaval can come in many different forms. But, you know, I would say the primary person it's for is a person who's at risk of getting stuck in that. That phase of grieving or that phase of, like, you know, what if my friend had been laid off so many times? What if he then decided he was going to do something else that he doesn't love? Um, just not to have that disappointment again, you know? So that's really my biggest concern is like, to make sure that people don't get stuck in that kind of limbo that I got, that I found myself in.

And don't get. Don't give up on what they really are aiming for. That's really important. Right. To keep that going. Could you share maybe an exercise from your book that listeners could try to help them reconnect with their dreams?

Yeah, I mean, I. I touched on one earlier about treating yourself like a friend, but I'll give a different one. You know, let's see. Writing yourself a love letter. Oh, yes.

Interesting.

Yeah, we, you know, we often are at least people who are very romantic. We often talk about how we wish someone would write us a song or love letter. But write one to yourself and don't hold back and keep that close so you can, you know, when your confidence is feeling shaky or when you just feel like, you know, you don't have the kind of. Maybe the support or validation that, you know, you shouldn't be seeking outside of you, but you really feel like you need that comfort, you go back to that letter to remind yourself of who you are and to remind yourself that you're always loved.

Yeah, that's wonderfully true. That's a really good idea, huh?

That's a great idea. I haven't really heard it put that way before because we work with a lot of. We talk to a lot of people and interview people that are telling people how to reconnect with joy. And. And I haven't heard that solution. Thank you for that. Thank you.

Sure. That changed it for me. I was one of the people waiting for the ultimate love letter.

Nice.

So, Chanoa, when people experience a life transition, and like we said before, Cathy and I have both gone through this, but they often feel like they've lost their identity. How can someone begin discovering who they are?

Yeah, I mean, it takes time. But I'm thinking in an example, so we'll talk about the loss of a loved one. So identity. A lot of times our identities are wrapped up in that relationship. So while we're in that relationship, we don't really necessarily always see ourselves as individuals. So I think it's really. Silence is a great tool. And I don't even just mean like doing meditation.

I don't count meditate meditation time as my silent time, but time that you're not, you know, listening to anything or interacting with anyone else to just sit with your thoughts and. And see what comes up. And in the beginning it can be really intimidating because if you're grieving, you know, you're. There's probably aren't going to be very enjoyable thoughts. But as you give it time and you keep coming back to it, you start having these more of these like little realizations about, you know, well, what do I really want or you know, what is missing that I haven't been attending to. And I think it's. It's just really easy to get disconnected from that between grief and then, you know, maybe having a full schedule, always being surrounded by family and friends. But we really have to cultivate that relationship with ourselves.

Like without that base, you know, we can't reach any of our other aims in life. So.

So do you have a special way of meditating at all?

Oh, for meditation. You know, sometimes I just do an unguided. But my favorite meditations are Dr. Joe Dispenza meditations. And I found I meditated for a decade before I tried his. And once I tried his.

Can you say the name again? I didn't catch the name.

Dr. Joe Dispenza.

Oh, Dispenza.

Yeah. Once I tried his. I didn't go back to other forms because, you know, he and his team and now they work also with the scientists at UC San Diego, they've done a lot of research. So, you know, at some of the retreats I've been to for retreats now and did one study that sometimes they have like heart monitors or brain scans. So they've really gotten it down to a science of which sounds and which moments, which pauses and delays and things like that and sound what they do to us internally in terms of the speed with which they change our brain waves and. And things like that. Other.

So are his meditations guided meditation or they put or Are you listening to something with those sounds?

They're guided. They're guided. And they have music. Sometimes they're singing. There's a sound healer. The sound healing mostly with her voice. MALE ON. She's on some of the tracks.

So it. It depends. But I like them even though, you know, I was doing unguided for an hour before I ever tried his. But these, I just. I can go much further into, you know, the nothingness. So I. I just find it more worth my time.

That sounds very interesting. I'd like to try that. Are.

Yeah.

Are they. Are they available on his website or where do you get them?

They are. Yes.

The website is just his name.

Oh, just his name. Okay.

I'm gonna look him up. A good tip now. Ch. Cheno, would you say you're living the life of your dreams now? And if so, what did it take to get there?

I am. And I. I was sure to ask myself that question when I was writing the book. And now I'm even. You know, I feel like my yes is just even bigger since that time. So I'll just. Yeah, that. That feels really meaningful.

And I didn't catch the other half of your question.

What did it take to get to that where you felt like you. You are living the life of your dreams?

Yeah. I mean, I sit here smiling and very grateful and, you know, just want to tell your listeners that it's not like this entire journey of self evolution, like it's always, you know, rainbows and butterflies and laughing. It did take a lot of effort to get here, a lot of time of looking in the mirror and seeing, you know, yes. Recognizing things in my life and other people's contributions, but focusing, bringing back to me, like, everything is a choice and allowing myself to feel uncomfortable without shaming or blaming myself. You know, why did you take that many years to heal from grieving? You know, why did you make these decisions? None of that. Getting rid of that. And I have to tell you that, yes, that's, you know, quote, unquote work, but the payoff is so much bigger that it's really hard for me to look at it like that.

Yeah. And Shenoah, how did your book dream on inspire you to. To develop a personal branding program?

Yeah. When I finished writing my manuscript, I was thinking about how, you know, we keep hearing about the importance of having a personal brand. And that's true, but a lot of times the focus is on the external considerations. You know, social media templates with the websites look like, you know, what are we wearing? And While those things have value, most importantly, my definition of a personal brand is the essence of who you are and how that essence is perceived. So if people, people are, you know, running a business. If someone's running a business and they're worried about those external considerations, but they don't have the confidence to show up more. So, you know, people, you know, prospects have no idea who they are and they're kind of fading back into the background or they don't have good boundaries with clients. You know, they don't have their purpose connected to their business.

So they're just getting burned out and they don't really know why. They're showing up every day to work and things are overwhelming. So I take them through this journey that's, you could describe it as personal transformation meets personal branding. And then yes, we get into messaging and positioning, but most importantly, we start with the person because that's, you know, we don't really do business, as they say with other businesses. It's the people behind those businesses. So people can't relate, people can't resonate if you're hiding or if you're unable to connect with yourself.

That's true. Yeah.

Yeah, that's a really good idea. I like that essence part. And when you say you are the secret to your success, what does that mean in practical terms?

Yeah, and that's what I mean. That's what I mean also just about that, you know, a person who really has the power to attract so many opportunities and it doesn't have to just be from a client, it could be making new friends, you know, and then those friends are like, oh, you know, my friend has this business. They're, you know, your lifelong cheerleaders. There's so many different people in your lives who can become, who can kind of advocate for you and sing your praises. So the more a person is really comfortable in their skin and they are operating from their truth, not emulating the person in their space who's very successful and kind of putting that costume on to go do that because they think that's going to win for them, that can get them some short term wins, but it's not going to create this long term brand that really resonates. So that's really what it's about. It's not about even my idea of what, you know, their personal brand should be. No, it's more like I'm a mirror and I'm helping them get rid of whatever's in their way so they can become more of who they are and become more Comfortable sharing different aspects of themselves which know it doesn't have to be.

You can still be a private person and still be public for your business and still share enough of yourself that people can connect with you on a deeper level.

That takes a lot of courage. And many of our listeners are reinventing themselves later in life. So what advice would you give to someone who wants to start something new but feels like maybe it's too late, no one's interested. What. What would you give? What kind of advice would you give?

Well, first I'll say if you have a desire to start something else, that's for a reason. And it's. It's never too late. You know, there's a problem in the beginning of my book called reinvention is your birthright. And I. I really believe in that. I. I just.

I say just go for it. You know, even on this meditation retreats, I've met a couple, they're in their 90s, and they are at this meditation retreat which is focused on personal transformation. And I just like, I'm team. Whatever their team is, I'm on that team that I really think as long as we're here, we have the right and the ability to reach for something else. You don't need anyone else's permission.

Yeah, I love that. I saw a man on TV they were talking about today who took up part pottery, like, you know, with the pottery wheel and a pottery class when he was 94. And now 10 years later, he's doing it still with the class.

He's 104 now.

He has a decade of experience in something he only just started in his 90s.

I love that.

Gorgeous.

Amazing. And it might be a contributor to his age. Why he's one of four, I really think, you know, kept him younger.

And apparently he's the only male in the class and all the people in the class are half his age.

Well, I'm sure he liked that too.

Yeah, it's young women. He's probably inspired by the women too, and they're inspired by him. It just sounds great. And I think that speaks to all of us feeling it might be too late to start something. I love your tagline that you said, reinvention is your birthright. Do you have that in the book? Because you have a part on reinvention in the book.

Yeah, I believe it's in the intro. I wrote a poem actually about that. Before we get into the background of what happened when bodo passed away. That's really meaningful phrase for me. And I feel like I've lived several lives in my short life. But, you know, if, if I hadn't, you know, just looking at the other side of that, if I hadn't decided that I have the ability to start again like my life, I would still be, you know, somewhere living a much smaller life, and I would be suffering. So, you know, this life is a gift. I really think, like, what can we make of it? Is that what you want to do? You're not happy doing that anymore? Why not just, just go for it? It's really.

Just go.

What are some small steps that people could take today to begin creating a life that feels more aligned with who they truly are?

Oh, that's a great question. I would, I would say start focusing on the things that are really meaningful to you, but also, you know, that can get kind of blurry. Like some people say, oh, well, my hobbyist, you can't, you can't monetize that. If I want to change a career, for example, but just kind of look for the patterns of what are the things that you've enjoyed in business all these years? Like, what are those like? Or, you know, as an employee, what are those commonalities that you've seen over, across time? And then even though you. It's important not to rely on other people's opinions. I have found a lot of clues for myself, and I encourage my clients to look at the clues they find in what other people say about them. You know, are there common themes about what your friends say they value about you, you know, your neighbors or your clients? If you look through your testimonials, are there themes about the way you impact others? And then you'd be surprised how much material you can find there to kind of start connecting the dots.

Did you ask them? Should you ask the people around you?

You can. For clients, I don't usually recommend it, but it just depends what kind of business you're in. Like, whether that would be appropriate or not. But there was just so much material there.

I took a class once where everybody in the class had to write something about everybody else in class. And so what we had on, they put on the wall these long sheets of white paper, and then every person had to put a comment about that person on that person's piece of paper. And it was astounding what other people say about you because, I mean, you could have self doubt, you could feel that, oh, nobody loves me, and here come these wonderful reviews of who you are. And it's really quite surprising. So sometimes it might be good to ask other People.

That's beautiful.

Yeah. And on that note, how do you help people move past fear and self doubt, especially if they're stepping into a new chapter, which is a blank piece of paper to them?

Yeah. I'd say first start practicing letting go of control. That's a big hurdle for a lot of people, and control is often intertwined with fear. So just realizing, you know, yes, there's a lot of uncertainties, yes, there's the unknown, but that's where beautiful surprises come from too. You can't control every element of this process, but you're gonna have to start, like, taking those steps and letting go of the wall. If you, you know, if you really do want that life that you're saying that you are putting on this pedestal, you're gonna have to make your way there. So that, that's a big one. Fear.

Fear is connected to every hurdle and every area of my program. If I change, just keep, you know, whittling down to the core and asking questions, it all comes back to fear. So one is also taking action and not waiting too long. Like, I know people who've wanted to move or move to another country or start traveling more, and they just sat with that question for years and didn't hear it. And the longer they have not, the less likely it is that they'll ever do it because it turned into this thing that's so much bigger than it actually is. So just even taking baby steps to see, okay, what can I do that's outside of my comfort zone today, no matter how small it is? And then, okay, that felt good. You know, my heart was beating, but I survived. And then keep pushing that, and then it just becomes.

Everything just becomes a lot easier.

Oh, I love those ideas. If listeners could take away just one message from your work and your book. Dream on. What would you want them most to remember?

No matter what happens, you can come back from anything and you can dream again.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah. Chanoa, this is a lot of food for thought. Thank you so much. It's been such an inspiring conversation. So. So thank you for sharing your wisdom with us today. Yeah.

Thank you very much. And if listeners would like to learn more about your work, where can they find you?

They can find them that on my website, chenoainez.com and spell it, spell it. C H-A N O A I N E Z dot com. My book is available on Amazon, Audible, Apple Books, and Kobo.

That book is called Dream On.

Yes. And we've been talking. Go ahead, Cathy, go ahead. Well, thank you again, we've been talking with Shanoa Inez, author of Dream On.

Oh, yes. And if you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe to Late Boomers wherever you get your podcasts and on YouTube. Yeah. And thanks for listening, and we'll see you next time on Late Boomers.