When Your Mother Creates Conflict in Public: Why It's Different and What to Do

In this episode, I address the heartbreaking reality of mothers who create conflict, criticism, or drama in front of others—turning what should be joyful celebrations into displays of their need for attention and control. I open with a devastating wedding story where a mother made her living daughter's special day about herself by constantly bringing up her deceased daughter, exposing how public conflict carries shame, embarrassment, and exposure that private conflict doesn't. I break down four common scenarios: centering herself at your celebrations, criticizing you in front of your partner or friends, sharing your private information without permission, and undermining you in front of your children. The most important strategy when public conflict happens? Don't engage. I explain why silence is actually your power, how staying calm removes her fuel, and when you should simply leave. I also address the aftermath—dealing with witnesses, setting boundaries around social media (just block her), and accepting that repeated public humiliation fast-tracks estrangement. Your wellbeing matters more than keeping the peace or making others comfortable, and you don't have to keep showing up to places where you're being mistreated.

With this episode you'll be able to:

1. Understand why public conflict is more damaging than private conflict—it exposes your pain and dysfunction for others to witness
2. Recognize the four common scenarios: hijacking celebrations, criticizing in front of others, sharing private info, and undermining your parenting
3. Practice the most powerful strategy when conflict happens: don't engage, stay silent, and remove yourself if possible
4. Reassert your authority with your children when your mother undermines you by taking them aside and calmly reaffirming your rules
5. Set social media boundaries by blocking your mother if she violates your privacy or airs grievances online
6. Accept that repeated public humiliation ruins trust and safety, and you have valid options including limiting contact or not attending events

Don't forget you can submit your questions about mother-daughter relationships for me to answer in upcoming episodes!

<<Check out the Break the Cycle workbook for boundary scripts and healing strategies.>>

Mentioned resources:

1. Break the Cycle: Healing Painful Mother-Daughter Dynamics workbook
2. Available at breakthecycle.brittneymscott.com ($37, instant download)

Connect with Brittney:

1. Instagram: @theBrittneyScott
2. Website: www.brittneymscott.com
3. Consultation to work with Brittney
4. Free Resources

Help me reach more mothers and daughters by following the show & leaving a rating or review on Apple & Spotify!

Keyword tags: Public conflict, mother-daughter conflict, public humiliation, boundary violations, don't engage strategy, family gatherings, celebration hijacking, undermining parenting, social media boundaries, estrangement fast-track, protecting yourself, family event anxiety, public criticism, anticipatory anxiety, witnessing dysfunction

Welcome to the

Mother-Daughter Relationship.

2

Show the podcast for mothers and

daughters who want to build stronger

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bonds, deepen their understanding

and transform their relationships.

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I'm your host, Brittany

Scott, licensed therapist and

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mother-daughter relationship coach.

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After years of working

with hundreds of daughters.

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And mothers.

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I've developed strategies that

help break generational patterns,

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heal wounds, and create the loving

relationships you've always wanted.

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Each week I'll be sharing insights from

real clients, expert interviews and

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practical tools you can use immediately

to improve your mother-daughter dynamic.

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Whether you're struggling with

communication breakdowns, navigating

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major life transitions, or simply

wanna take your already good

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relationship to the next level.

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The show is for you.

16

And yes, the transformation I guide

my clients through can be yours too.

17

I'll share more about

how you can work with me.

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It's time to experience the

relationship you both deserve.

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Are you ready?

20

Let's dive in.

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Hi, welcome back to the

Mother-Daughter Relationship Show.

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I'm your host, Brittany Scott,

a licensed therapist and

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mother-daughter relationship coach.

24

Before we dive into today's

episode, I wanna share something

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really exciting with you.

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I just launched my first digital

product and I'm really proud of it.

27

It is called Break the Cycle Healing

Painful Mother-Daughter Dynamics,

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and it's a comprehensive therapeutic

workbook I created specifically for women

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navigating complicated relationships

with their mothers or daughters.

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Over the years in my practice,

I kept hearing many of the

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same things from clients.

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I love my mom, but.

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Being around her drains me.

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I feel guilty every time I set a boundary.

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I'm terrified.

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I'm going to do the same thing to

my daughter that my mom did to me.

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And I realized there wasn't a

simple resource out there that

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addressed the unique complexities

of mother-daughter relationships in

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a trauma-informed, practical way.

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So I created one break.

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The cycle is a six part journey

that takes you from understanding

42

why these relationships can be hard

or difficult, all the way through

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creating sustainable transformations.

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It includes fillable worksheets,

assessment tools, how to see

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what behaviors may have been

passed down in your family.

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Boundary setting scripts and strategies

that work, whether your mother

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participates in the healing process

or not, it's fully interactive.

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There's journaling prompts.

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There's things for you to think about

and there's like dropdown lists and

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things for you to kind of fill in and

fill out to address your own wounds

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and your own healing and have a place

to store all the information you can

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grab the Break the Cycle workbook at.

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Break the cycle dot

Brittany and scott.com.

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I'll leave the link in the show

notes, of course, and it's $37.

55

It's an instant download, but also you

will get access to an online portal

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so you can see some videos from me

that I have created and left for you.

57

But if you just wanna take the

book and go, you absolutely can.

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You will get the links to download it.

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But you can start healing

within like five minutes.

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So I'm really excited.

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Just wanted to share what I created

and let you know that it is available

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if it's something that interests you.

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Alright, let's dive into today's episode.

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I saw a story on social media recently

that absolutely broke my heart.

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A daughter was getting married

and it should have been the

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happiest day of her life.

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Well, one of them, we have many of them,

but one of the happiest days of her life,

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a day where she's celebrated, surrounded

by love and starting a new chapter.

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But her mother couldn't let

her have that at the wedding.

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Her mother was bringing up her

other daughter who had died.

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She needed everyone to recognize

her grief, to acknowledge her loss,

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to send her her pain, basically on

her living daughter's wedding day,

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instead of celebrating her daughter

who was standing right there, getting

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married, trying to have her moment.

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Her mother made it about herself.

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I can't imagine how painful

that must have been for her

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daughter to have that one day.

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That should have been all about

her, turned into a stage for her.

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Mother's need for attention and control,

this is what we're talking about today.

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Mother-daughter, conflict in public in

front of others because public conflict

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hits differently than private conflict.

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It's not just about what was said or

done, it's about who witnessed it.

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It's about shame, embarrassment,

and exposure for daughters, it often

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confirms that their mother will

prioritize her own needs over her

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daughters, even in the moment that

should have belonged to the daughter.

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Today we're gonna talk about the

different ways public conflict shows

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up, why it's so damaging, what to do

in the moment, when it's happening, and

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how to protect yourself moving forward.

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This episode is primarily for daughters,

but if you're a mother listening and

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you recognize yourself in some of

these patterns, I want you to stay.

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There's healing here for you too.

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So let's dive in.

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Let's talk about why conflict in front

of others is so much more damaging

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than conflict behind closed doors.

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When your mother criticizes you, dismisses

you, or violates your boundaries.

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In private, it hurts of,

you know, of course it does.

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But when she does it in front of other

people, it exposes you and your pain.

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It puts your pain, the dysfunction,

and your family wounds on

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display for others to see.

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And for daughters who have spent years

trying to manage their mother's behavior,

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trying to keep the peace, maybe trying to

make everything look okay on the outside.

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Public conflict, shatters that

illusion, everyone sees it.

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Now, the family members who always

said, your mom is so great, or you

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only get one mom like they see this.

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The friends who don't fully understand

why you keep your distance or.

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Fully understand the dynamics of

your relationship with your mom.

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They witness it.

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Your partner who may finally get to

see what you've been trying to explain

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for so long, they get to witness it.

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Public conflict can also

carry a deep sense of shame.

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Not shame about you or what you

did as a daughter, but shame

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about what's being done to you.

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Shame about being treated this

way in front of other people.

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Shame about not knowing how to stop it.

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Shame about your relationship

being this broken.

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When conflict happens in public, you

can't just process it and move on.

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You have to manage other

people's reactions too.

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You have to see the

look on people's faces.

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You have to field the,

are you okay questions.

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you have to deal with people

who wanna mediate or take sides,

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or even pretend they didn't see

it and looked the other way.

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Public conflict can also include an

element of control, when a mother

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creates conflict in front of others,

she's often doing it because she knows

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you are less likely to set a boundary or

call her out when there's an audience.

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When public conflict becomes

a pattern, trust erodes.

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You stop feeling safer around your

mother, especially in public settings.

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You start avoiding gatherings.

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You make excuses not to come to

family events because you're terrified

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of what she might say or do, or

you just don't wanna deal with it.

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You might develop anticipatory anxiety.

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Even before an event happens, you're

already anxious, already bracing yourself

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for conflict, already planning your

escape routes, and the relationship

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fundamentally changes when someone

repeatedly humiliates you in front of

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others, it's hard to maintain closeness.

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It's hard to trust them and it's

hard to be around them at all.

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Let me normalize something for you.

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Let me normalize a few things for you

actually, if you feel anxious before

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family gatherings because you're

anticipating conflict with your mother.

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That's normal.

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That's a normal response.

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That anxiety is your body remembering what

happened before and trying to protect you.

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If you feel embarrassed or ashamed

after public conflict, that's

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also a normal response too,

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and if you're starting to

wonder whether attending family

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events is even worth it anymore.

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That's also a completely

reasonable response to being

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repeatedly publicly humiliated.

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Your feelings are valid.

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The fear is real, and your mom's behavior,

that's not normal and that's not okay.

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I.

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Now let's talk about the specific

ways public conflict shows up in

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mother-daughter relationships.

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I'm gonna walk you through four

common scenarios and I want you to

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see if you recognize your mother

or yourself in any of these.

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Scenario one.

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We started with the wedding

story, but this pattern shows

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up in all kinds of celebrations.

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Your graduation, your promotion, your

baby shower, your birthday moments.

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That should be about you.

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But your mother finds a

way to center herself.

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Maybe she dominates the conversations

with stories about herself.

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Maybe she brings up her own struggles

or tragedies to shift focus.

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Maybe she criticizes something about

the event in front of everyone.

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Your dress, your choice of venue, how

you're doing things, et cetera, et cetera.

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Maybe she creates drama that

requires everyone's attention.

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The common thread here is that on a

day that should celebrate you, she

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needs to be the center of attention.

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These are milestone moments,

and that makes these scenarios

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particularly painful.

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You only get one shot at a wedding day.

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You know, nobody redoes a wedding day.

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That's impossible.

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They're expensive.

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You graduate one time.

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There's one ceremony.

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You have one first baby shower

for that first baby that comes.

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It happens once.

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And instead of these memories

being about joy and celebration,

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they're marked by your mother's

need for control and attention and.

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Scenario two, criticizing you in

front of your partner or friends.

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And this one is incredibly

common and also deeply damaging.

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Your mother criticizes your

parenting in front of your partner.

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She makes comments about your

weight or your appearance or your

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choices in front of your friends.

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She tells embarrassing stories about

you that you've asked her not to share.

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She contradicts you or corrects

you in front of people trying

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to treat you like a child.

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This undermines you.

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It can signal to people in your

life that you're not capable, not

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worthy of respect, not an adult

who makes good decisions and that.

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Maybe your mom knows best.

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On the flip side, this puts

your partner or friends in an

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incredibly awkward position.

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Do they defend you?

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Do they stay quiet?

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Do they laugh it off?

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Do they pretend they didn't

hear it or notice it?

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What are they supposed

to do in this situation?

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I hope they protect you or stand

up for you or defend you, but

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really the situation is awkward.

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Some people won't know

what to do with that.

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For daughters, it can be humiliating.

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You're trying to be

seen as a capable adult.

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You are a capable adult.

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You're trying to make your own

life decisions, and your mother is

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actively working to undermine that

image in front of other people whose

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opinions probably matter most to you.

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Scenario three, sharing

your private information.

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The scenario is about boundary violations.

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You tell your mother

something in confidence.

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Maybe you're struggling financially,

maybe you're having relationship problems.

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Maybe you're dealing with health issues,

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and then she shares it.

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With the whole family without

your permission or with all of her

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friends, without your permission.

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Or maybe you didn't even tell her.

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She just knows things about your

life and decides everyone knows.

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Should know it too.

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Did you hear that my daughter is

having trouble getting pregnant?

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Oh, my daughter and her

husband are in counseling.

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My daughter got fired from her job.

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Can you believe it?

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Like these are your private struggles,

your private life, and they become

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public knowledge because your mother

couldn't keep your confidence.

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Sometimes mothers do this out of concern.

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They're worried about you and they're

looking for support or advice from others.

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Like, they go to their friends

and they wanna share because they

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want support from somebody else.

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And I get it.

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I, I get it, kind of, but it doesn't

really matter why she does it.

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The impact is the same.

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Your privacy is violated,

your trust is broken.

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And now you're dealing with other

people knowing things about you

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that you didn't choose to share.

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So whether she was seeking support

or not, whether I understand it

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or not, it doesn't really change

the impact that it has on you.

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And it doesn't change the fact

that this isn't okay if you

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don't want this stuff shared.

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If you didn't give her the permission,

then she doesn't get to share this

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with everyone else, except you probably

have a mother who does it anyway.

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And this damages the relationship.

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You can't trust her.

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And so you stop sharing

information with her.

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And also you ask other people to stop

sharing information with her, and that

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can be really difficult to manage.

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Scenario four, undermining you in front

of your children, and this one might be

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the most painful because it doesn't just

affect you, it also affects your kids.

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You set a rule for your children and your

mother contradicts it in front of them.

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Oh, one more cookie won't hurt.

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You don't have to listen

to your mom about that.

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Your mom is just being too

strict or she criticizes your

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parenting in front of your kids.

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I never would've let

you talk to me that way.

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You're just spoiling them.

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When you were little, I

did things differently.

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It's like, okay, mom.

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Got it.

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But what this does is undermine

your authority as a parent.

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It tells your children that your

rules don't matter, that your mother

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knows better than you, that they can

go to grandma and get around your

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boundaries and get what they want.

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And it puts you in this

impossible position.

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Do you confront your mother

in front of your kids?

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Do you engage in this and start an

argument and maybe let it escalate?

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Do you let it go and just

address it later in private?

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Do you enforce your rule and look like

the bad guy in front of your kids?

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Which one feels better also,

maybe you do all three, but on

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different occasions, I don't know.

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I do hope that you enforce your rule

and just be the bad guy for your

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kids, even if they don't like it.

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I mean, that would be my hope.

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But managing these things can be really

hard and also really frustrating.

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All of these scenarios

have two things in common.

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They're about power and control.

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Your mother is asserting her dominance,

her importance, her right to be

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centered at your expense, and she's

doing it in front of others because

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the audience gives her more power and

makes it harder for you to push back.

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I.

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So why, why, why would a mother do this?

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Usually it comes down to two

things, control or attention.

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Some mothers need to maintain

control over their daughters even

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when their daughters are adults.

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Public conflict is a way to of

reasserting that control of reminding

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you that she still has power over you.

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Other mothers need attention.

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Constant validation,

constant focus on them.

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And when something threatens to

take that attention away, like your

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wedding, your success, your life,

your new baby, you get the idea.

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They create conflict to redirect,

focus back to themselves.

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And sometimes it's both.

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They want control and attention.

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Most of the time though,

it's not about you.

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It's about her, her unmet needs,

her insecurities, her inability

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to let you be separate from her.

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But even though it's about her, you

are the one dealing with all of the

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consequences and that it's not fair.

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That's infuriating.

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I, so what do you actually do when

public conflict is happening right now?

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When your mother's creating a scene,

violating your boundaries, or criticizing

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you in front of others, the single most

important strategy is don't engage.

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I know every instinct in your body

wants to probably defend yourself,

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explain yourself or shut her down.

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But engaging almost always makes it worse.

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When you respond, you

give her what she wants.

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Your attention, your reaction,

the conflict continuing.

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So what does not engaging

actually look like?

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Don't respond to her.

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Don't defend yourself.

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Don't argue with her.

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Don't try to correct her or explain

your side when it comes to her.

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Just really don't say anything.

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And I know this might feel

impossible because you want to say

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something or you want to stop her.

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Or even the scenario I gave

in the beginning where.

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You don't want to maybe look weak or,

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or like you can't defend yourself

and so you don't say anything.

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And that gives her more

validation that maybe she's right.

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Like all of this can be so

difficult and the emotions that

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come with it can be really hard.

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But when you engage it just, I'm willing

to bet things continue to escalate.

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If you stay silent, it may feel like she

wins, but silence is actually your power.

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It takes away any fuel, anything you

add to it's fuel for her to keep going.

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If you remove that and remove any

responses, you take more power back.

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If you feel like you have to say

something, maybe because other people are

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watching and waiting for you to respond,

I want you to keep it simple and firm.

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This is not appropriate right now,

and I will not engage with you.

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That's it.

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You're not explaining, you're not

justifying, you're not inviting.

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Further conversation.

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You're stating a boundary and

walking away from the conflict,

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and I will not engage with you.

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You are removing yourself from this.

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She can talk to herself.

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Also, I want you to maybe talk

to other people and not her.

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If you're at a gathering and

you can redirect your attention

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to other people, do that.

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Turn to someone else and

start a conversation.

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Move to a different room.

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Physically distance

yourself from your mother.

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This does two things.

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It remove you from the conflict and

it signals to others that you're

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not participating in whatever

drama she's trying to create.

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If you can leave, I'd recommend leaving.

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If the situation allows

for it, don't stay in it.

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Go if you can.

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You don't owe anyone an explanation.

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You don't have to stay somewhere

you're being disrespected or

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humiliated, excuse yourself.

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Go to the bathroom, step outside,

or just leave the event entirely.

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Your wellbeing is so much more important

than keeping the peace or making

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other people comfortable around you.

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Now if the conflict involves your

children, if your mother is undermining

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you in front of them or contradicting

your rules, you have to address it

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directly with your kids, even if you

don't address it with her in the moment.

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Take your children aside, away

from your mother and talk to them.

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It can sound like, I know Grandma

said you could have another cookie,

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but I'm your mom and I set the rules.

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The answer is still no or.

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Sometimes grandma and I disagree

about things, but I make the decisions

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about what's best for you , reassure

them that you are the parent.

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You set the rules, and those rules are

there to protect them and keep them safe.

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You're not asking them to take sides.

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You are not bad mouthing

their grandmother.

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You're just calmly reasserting

your authority and helping them

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understand that what Grandma says

doesn't override what you say.

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All of this is harder when you're

already anxious, already activated

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already in fight or flight mode.

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So if you can take a moment to regulate

yourself before you respond, take a

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deep breath, ground yourself and remind

yourself, this is about her, not me.

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I don't have to engage.

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I can leave.

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Sometimes just giving yourself

that five second pause can help you

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respond from a place of calm instead

of reacting from panic or anger.

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What if she escalates?

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Maybe you're thinking, okay, Brittany,

I hear you, but what if I don't engage?

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And she still escalates.

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What if she gets louder, more

dramatic, more insistent?

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I want you to let her, I

know it's uncomfortable.

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I know you want to stop it,

but her escalation is not

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your responsibility to manage.

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If she escalates and makes a bigger

scene that reflects on her, not you,

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other people will see that, and sometimes

people need to see it to understand

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what you've been dealing with all along.

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Your job is not to control her.

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Your job is just to protect yourself.

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Okay?

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Before you go to a family gathering where

you anticipate conflict, pick someone

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who can step in if things get bad.

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Maybe it's your partner, maybe it's

a sibling, maybe it's a trusted

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friend who's attending with you.

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Tell them ahead of time, if my mom starts

creating conflict, can you help redirect?

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Can you step in so I don't have to engage?

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You don't have to handle this alone,

and you don't have to be the one

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to manage your mother's behavior.

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Having someone else who can intervene.

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Someone who can change a subject, move

your mother to a different conversation,

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or even directly tell her to stop,

take some of the burden off of you

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in the moment of public conflict.

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Your goal is simply don't engage, protect

yourself and remove yourself if needed.

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You're not responsible for managing

her emotions, her behavior,

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or other people's comfort.

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You're only responsible for

yourself and and if applicable,

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how does that word sound?

404

So weird.

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Applicable.

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I think, um, if it applies, you're also

responsible for protecting your children.

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Okay.

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So the public conflict happened.

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You got through it.

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Maybe you engaged and it escalated, or

you didn't engage and it still escalated.

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I don't know, maybe you left.

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Maybe you just survived it.

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Now what, let's talk about the

aftermath of public conflict and

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how to navigate what comes next.

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You might feel embarrassed, ashamed,

angry, sad, or even confused

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about why this keeps happening.

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All those feelings are valid, but the

behavior you experienced was abnormal.

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Your mother creating public conflict,

violating your boundaries, undermining

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you in front of others, that's

not normal or acceptable behavior.

420

Your feelings of embarrassment or shame

are normal responses to abnormal behavior.

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You didn't do anything wrong.

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You don't need to be ashamed

because your emotional response

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to it makes complete sense.

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So give yourself permission to

feel whatever you might be feeling

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without any judgment or criticism.

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Now, one of the most annoying

parts of public conflict is dealing

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with people who witnessed it.

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You might have family members reaching

out to ask if you're okay or trying

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to explain your mother's behavior,

or worse, trying to get you to

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understand where she's coming from.

431

You don't owe any of these

people, an explanation or a

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conversation about what happened.

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If you feel close to any of them

who witnessed it and you want to

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talk about it with them, do that.

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Sometimes it helps the process with

people who saw it and can validate

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your experience, but if you don't feel

safe or comfortable talking about it

437

with certain people, you don't have to.

438

You can say, I appreciate your concern,

but I don't wanna discuss it right now.

439

But sometimes people who witnessed

it finally understand what you've

440

been experiencing all along.

441

Maybe you've tried to explain to

your partner or your friends what

442

your relationship with your mother is

like, and they didn't quite get it.

443

They thought you were exaggerating

or being too sensitive, or they

444

just couldn't imagine what a

relationship like this would look like.

445

But now they saw it and

suddenly they understand.

446

That can be validating, but it can

also be bittersweet because you

447

shouldn't have to be humiliated in

public for people to believe you.

448

Either way.

449

If people who witnessed the

conflict are now offering support

450

or understand something they didn't

before, that's okay to accept.

451

You don't have to say, I told

you so just let them see you now.

452

Okay.

453

Let's switch gears and talk about a

specific type of public conflict that is

454

becoming increasingly common social media.

455

If your mother posts about you

without permission, shares, private

456

information online, or airs grievances

about your relationship publicly.

457

Here's my very simple advice, block

her if your mother is violating your

458

privacy and boundaries on social media.

459

Trying to engage with her about it or get

her to stop is a losing battle because you

460

can't control other people's behaviors.

461

You can't control what she

posts, but you can control.

462

If you see it, just block her.

463

Don't engage with the post.

464

Don't try to defend

yourself in the comments.

465

Don't ask her to take

things down publicly.

466

Maybe you can send a text or something

or call her or ask her in person or

467

remove it, but I wouldn't comment that.

468

Just remove yourself

from that space entirely.

469

And if other people see and send, send

you screenshots or tell you what she's

470

posting, you can ask 'em to stop.

471

Tell 'em you appreciate them looking

out for you, but you'd rather not

472

know you blocked her so you don't

have to see or engage on those posts.

473

It's healthier for you to not see it.

474

It's just gonna frustrate you

and it's gonna bring up lots

475

of emotions and probably anger.

476

Also, just block her.

477

You don't have to have her on your social

media and you don't need to see her.

478

Repeated public conflict ruins

trust and safety in a relationship.

479

When your mother repeatedly humiliates

you, violates your boundaries or

480

undermines you in front of others,

something fundamental inside of you

481

breaks you stop feeling safe with

her, especially in public settings.

482

And once safety is gone, it's

really hard to maintain closeness.

483

You might start making decisions

about how much contact you want

484

to have with her, whether you

want to attend family gatherings.

485

Whether the relationship is worth the

cost of your mental health and peace.

486

If you're at the point where you're

considering not attending family

487

events anymore, or limiting contact

with your mother, whatever choice

488

you decide on because it's the right

choice for you is a valid choice.

489

You can make that decision at any time.

490

There's no right time to set

those kind of boundaries.

491

If you feel unsafe or

uncomfortable, you have options.

492

Don't go to the gathering.

493

Go with someone you feel safe

with, someone who will support you.

494

Set a time limit.

495

Go but only stay for

an hour and then leave.

496

Only attend certain

events and skip others.

497

There's no rule that says you

have to keep showing up to places

498

where you're being mistreated.

499

Behavior like this will likely

fast track estrangement.

500

And while no therapist or coach or anyone

out there that is working with moms and

501

daughters no one in this space should be.

502

Helping a daughter choose estrangement

or helping estrangement to happen,

503

that decision is solely on the daughter

and solely on the person who has

504

to be a part of this relationship.

505

It's not for me or anyone else

to suggest, and I never would.

506

But if estrangement makes sense for

you, if it's what you need and you know

507

that you need it, make the decision.

508

You get to protect yourself and you

should protect yourself, and you

509

shouldn't put her comfort above yours.

510

If you're uncomfortable, if you

feel unsafe, if you can't trust this

511

relationship to protect you, then

don't be a part of the relationship.

512

You have decisions and you can

decide what that looks like.

513

You get to decide how much you

tolerate and what you can't.

514

You get to decide where you show up and

where you don't because it's not worth

515

the anxiety that it's going to create.

516

It's not worth your mental health

being shot and you having to to work

517

through everything that came up and

all of the emotions and your body

518

feeling dysregulated like you're

left to do with that all by yourself.

519

You don't have to do that

if you don't want to.

520

You get to decide how much

contact feels healthy for you.

521

And prioritizing your wellbeing

over other people's expectations.

522

You don't have to justify your decisions.

523

You get to just make them.

524

I also know that none of

these decisions are easy.

525

I just want to remind you that

choices are there now, the emotions

526

and how you carry out these choices

and what all of that looks like.

527

It's really dependent on who you are.

528

And what your relationship dynamics are

with your mother, but the choice of what

529

you need is a choice that you get to make.

530

As we wrap up today's episode, I wanna

leave you with a few final thoughts.

531

Public conflict with your mother,

like being criticized in front

532

of your partner, being undermined

in front of your children, having

533

your celebration turn into drama.

534

None of that is normal or acceptable.

535

If this is happening to you,

you're probably not overreacting.

536

You're not being too sensitive,

and also you're not alone.

537

This is a real pattern that causes

real harm and your decision to protect

538

yourself is valid and a choice that you

get to make at any time that you need to.

539

You don't owe your mother access to

you in spaces where she repeatedly

540

disrespects you or hurts you.

541

You don't have to keep attending

family gatherings where you feel

542

anxious, unsafe, or humiliated.

543

You don't have to sacrifice your peace

to keep other people comfortable.

544

If you're feeling anxious

before events, dreading family

545

gatherings, already planning your

escape routes, that's your body.

546

Remembering what happened before

and trying to protect you.

547

Listen to what your body is telling you.

548

There's lots of information there.

549

You deserve to have your

celebrations be about you.

550

You deserve to have your boundaries

respected and you deserve

551

to be treated with dignity.

552

Especially in front of other people, and

if your mother can't give you that, it's

553

okay to create distance if you need.

554

It's also okay to create boundaries

that are gonna keep you safe.

555

It's okay to just step back a little bit.

556

There's many lanes here and how

things look and what you need

557

and how you protect yourself.

558

It's okay for you to choose yourself.

559

Now if today's episode resonated with

you and maybe you're realizing you need

560

support in navigating this relationship,

I wanna remind you that break the cycle,

561

the workbook is created specifically

for daughters who are dealing with

562

complicated mother-daughter dynamics.

563

It includes boundary setting scripts

for situations exactly like the

564

ones we talked about today, how

to handle public conflict, how

565

to set boundaries before events.

566

How to protect yourself when

your mother won't change.

567

How to actually build out a boundary

that supports a need that you're

568

trying to get met, like it's going

to teach you all of these things.

569

It also walks you through understanding

your relationship patterns, healing

570

attachment wounds, managing relationship

anxiety, and breaking generational cycles.

571

The part that I love about this

book that I created is that.

572

You can do this if your mom is willing

to heal with you, and if your mom

573

cannot be a part of that with you,

she doesn't have to be a part of it.

574

For this to work.

575

Your healing doesn't

depend on her changing.

576

It doesn't depend on her apology, and it

doesn't depend on her acknowledgement.

577

It depends on you deciding that

you're not gonna send her other

578

people's comfort anymore and

you're going to heal for yourself.

579

So if you're interested in the workbook

and this episode resonated with you,

580

I wanna remind you that the link is in

the show notes and you can go and see

581

if this is the right purchase for you.

582

It's an instant digital download, and I'm

offering a five day money back guarantee.

583

So if it's not what you need, just email

me and I'll refund you immediately.

584

Your healing doesn't have

to wait for her to change.

585

I want you to know that

it can start today.

586

Okay.

587

That's what all of this is for.

588

I do my best to make sure that every

episode leaves you with something you

589

can take away, leaves you with a new

way to phrase things, leaves you with

590

validation of knowing that you're not

overreacting and you're not being too

591

sensitive, that these are abnormal

behaviors and that you're responding

592

to them in a very normal way and

leaves you with things that you can do

593

differently, things that you can change,

and ways that you can protect yourself.

594

And if your mother can't do that, like

you're allowed to do that for yourself,

595

and you're allowed to create spaces and

boundaries and situations that protect

596

you and only you if that's what you need.

597

So thanks for being here.

598

Thanks for being a listener

and going on this ride with me.

599

I really enjoy making these

episodes for you and being able

600

to bring you this kind of healing.

601

Even just listening through your

phone and just listening to the audio,

602

my, my goal is that you walk away

with something from every episode.

603

So I hope that this

episode did that for you.

604

Thank you for being here and

being a listener, and that's

605

all I got for you today.

606

I will catch you in the next one.

607

That's all for today's episode of the

Mother-Daughter Relationship Show.

608

Thanks so much for

spending this time with me.

609

I hope you picked up some valuable

insights that you can start using right

610

away in your own relationship to create

deeper connection and understanding.

611

If something from today's

episode resonated with you,

612

don't keep it to yourself.

613

Share it with the mother or daughter in

your life who needs to hear this message.

614

And while you're at it, please

consider leaving a rating.

615

And review so we can reach more

families and transform the way mothers

616

and daughters relate to each other.

617

For those ready to take the next

step, you can visit my website to

618

learn more about my private coaching

programs and my program designed

619

specifically for mother-daughter pairs.

620

Whether you're dealing with communication

challenges, life transitions, or

621

just wanna strengthen an already

good relationship, I'm here to help.

622

Thank you so much for listening.

623

I'll see you in the next one.