Dawn Damon: Well, my guest today is the visionary behind She Surrenders, a transformative ministry dedicated to guiding women towards faith-based recovery. She's a speaker, a coach, an author, and the author of an award-winning book. Sober Cycle: Pedaling Through Recovery One Day at a Time, and this year she founded the establishment of the Sailor House Recovery, a 30-day inpatient faith-based rehabilitation center for women in Western Michigan. Please welcome Sherry Hoppen.

Hello, Sherry!

Sherry Hoppen: Hi, Dawn. It's great to be here with you. Thanks for that great intro.

Dawn Damon: Absolutely. We're so glad that you're with us because Sherry, you battled addiction for a long time, and we wanna jump into your story, what finally brought you to your knees and really surrender.

Sherry Hoppen: You know, I always say that recovery is a process, but addiction is a process too. And you know what? Looks like the end, you know, for me might not look like the end for someone else, but what brought me to my knees was basically the surrender of basically saying to God, I'm gonna do it your way. Because I had tried so many times to quit drinking, and my life was one big secret. And as a woman of faith. I carried that burden so heavily because I thought, Shouldn't I have known better? Or God? Where were you when I was going down and all the things? I worked in ministry for Pete's sake, my husband was an elder, but I'm drinking in my closet, and I fought just as hard to keep my secret as I did to get out of the addiction. And the two do not go well together.

So when I finally did find myself flat on my face, on my living room floor, and just said, I surrender. God, take it. I did add, I'll do whatever you want. And that was something I had not said before and I had surrendered, but with conditions, just please let no one find out. Or maybe I can just go back to drinking socially. It was so important to me to. Keep the face, you know? Mm-hmm. Not let anybody see what was going on, or not lose any of my lifestyle. But that lifestyle was long gone. I should have known better, but I said that this time, your way, not anything to do with me. And that was the time.

Dawn Damon: That was the moment. Yeah. You've said so much just now that we could unpack, but really, you know, being a woman of faith, I can imagine that that was a very heavy burden to carry. And we do fight for our secrets sometimes because we wanna stay in 'em, but sometimes we, because gosh, if I could just have deliverance from this God with keeping all of the shellac and the veneer in place and all the perfect lifestyle looking there.

Then you wouldn't be sitting here today giving God the glory for what he did and really helping others come out. Your story is now gonna be a redemptive tool in the hands of God to help others get set free. So thanks for your bravery, Sheri. But what's been the most significant change, the positive change, in your life since you've gotten sober? And you know, we're jumping right to the sober part. I imagine that rehab and all that, that was no easy leap just coming from that place to all of a sudden now, hey, I'm clean.

Sherry Hoppen: No, it wasn't. And it's all chronicled in my book, how I got there and how I got out of it. But I didn't go to rehab. It was not an option as far as what, we didn't really find the one.

That would fit anyway. So it was me and God, and I had a supportive husband who thankfully did not give up on me. He was very close. Our marriage was in a very bad place. I didn't have much hope for it, and neither did he. And that was kind of the come-to-Jesus moment as well in that last day of drinking. And I would say. That's probably one of the biggest. There are so many that I could celebrate in recovery, but the biggest one is my marriage.

Dawn Damon: Yeah.

Sherry Hoppen: It's back. I mean, it's not back. It's brand new and he's the best and we're best friends. We are what it should be, and. We've walked through some really hard things together. Not just that, but you know, losing people. We love the hard things with our kids, or you know, grandkids, whatever, and I can't imagine us not being there for each other. And he's so supportive in everything I do, and I try to be for him as well. But that is the biggest gift that came out of this. I had no idea what I was marrying. When I was 18 years old, but I do know that's beautiful.

Dawn Damon: What a great story to hear that, because many women, many men in addiction, they do lose their marriages. They do. And God can still heal, and you can go on to have a beautiful life. But how incredibly wonderful for you that God was able to set you free. Of course, we know he can. That you were willing to take that step. And that he restored and resurrected or made brand new. Mm-hmm. The whole marriage.

Sherry, were there moments when you were socially drinking that, did you knew it was beginning to become a problem? Was it a slow slide or did you know like right away, like this is just all too important for me and. Do you have that addictive personality that they talk about?

Sherry Hoppen: Definitely the addictive personality. I always say, I don't like to do anything unless I can do it. Well, well, I did drink well, you know, so there's that. But I'm really glad that you brought this up because I do get asked that question, and I look back and I can say. A hundred percent. I had no business drinking in the first place. There's a ton of addiction, especially alcoholism, in my family, on both sides. I witnessed it, you know, growing up. I witnessed it today.

Dawn Damon: Mm-hmm.

Sherry Hoppen: And to see that and know that, and knowing, especially what we do now, I was playing Russian roulette every time I put that drink to my mouth. And I could remember someone saying to me when I was much younger, Do you ever worry about becoming an alcoholic? And I said, absolutely not. I'm very aware, and I thought that I was. Mm-hmm. But if you think that you are stronger than a substance that has the record that alcohol does and addiction, um, you can beat addiction in your family. But it starts with not partaking in it.

Yeah, and the other thing I did wrong was drinking alone. I always say to women, you have no reason to drink alone. If you're drinking alone, stop if you know, like give yourself these little tests. But I knew I was in trouble when it was too late. I was blindsided. I drank socially for years, and it was fine until one day I remember asking my husband.

Do you ever think about, like, I can't wait for the weekend, have a drink? And he's like, no. He's like, do you? And I said, well, sometimes I think about, and I kind of made it about like, I can't, like I can't wait to be out by the campfire, and that kind of thing. And yeah, quickly, you know, like level that and mm-hmm. Later on, I thought to myself, I'm thinking about drinking. On the weekend, it's only Tuesday or Wednesday. Well, later on, I was thinking about drinking in the morning. When it was in the evening. And you know, you start breaking your boundaries. And I remember thinking to myself, also, you're going to have to fix this. And this is hiding the drinking, and instead of fixing it, which. It was too late to fix, um, by fixing. I thought I could just cut back, but that never happened, and this went on for years.

Dawn Damon: Mm-hmm. How did that affect your relationship with the Lord? Did you feel like you were being prompted by God to stop, or did you find yourself distancing from deep communion and worship, or, you know, for a while, I would say.

Sherry Hoppen: You know, I look at, there's about 10 years there that from, I think the journey of the addiction starts to finish. You know, the last three being in the ugliness of it. But I would say in the first three quarters of it, I was rebellious, kind of a, you know. I don't have a problem. This is me. I'm handling it.

We're doing life. It's fine. We're raising kids, we're doing the best we can, and we just keep brushing it off. And I don't really have a lot of time to spend in the morning on devotions, and you know, all that kind of stuff. And I go to church and blah, blah, blah, all the things. Mm-hmm. But I will say that those last years, I was still reading my Bible and I was searching, praying, and working so hard to try to figure it out. I knew that God was the way out, and every time I drank, I knew I was turning my back on the plans he had for me, and I hadn't felt that in earlier years, but he was working on me, and he wasn't giving up on me even when I was ready to give up on me. And I would wake up sometimes, and I would say, God, why do you keep saving me? I just don't understand. Because there were days when I could have cared less.

Dawn Damon: Mm-hmm.

Sherry Hoppen: And he kept, he kept raising me back up for some reason. And I did feel his closeness, but there were a lot of times when I felt his disappointment, too. Mm-hmm. And I felt alone, and that was me who walked away, not God.

Dawn Damon: Mm-hmm. Hmm. Wow. So, pedaling your way through recovery. Tell us about your book.

Sherry Hoppen: Well, I don't ever do things traditionally, so I said I worked for a ministry, I worked for a nonprofit, Pro-Life Pregnancy Center here in West Michigan, and they had started a.. What I thought was nuts. A bike ride from kind of across the US each year. This was going to be the second year, and it was to raise money, and it was gonna go from Michigan to Texas. And through a string of events, I was invited to join, and I should not have been invited to join. I was in no shape to do this. I was an overweight, non-athletic in the throes of alcoholism. But living with a false face of, you know, not wanting to do this.

But my husband said to me, You know, you said you were praying for help spiritually, emotionally, and physically. What, what do you think God's trying to tell you? So I was kind of in a really awkward position, and I said yes, and I had 51 days to get ready for this bike ride from Michigan to Texas. Oh my goodness. So I started training, and I trained hard, and I did do it. I left with a horrible hangover. The first three days on that bike were absolute hell. I should not have made it. Yeah, that's where God is. I can tell you that.

Yep. And I did this bike ride from Michigan to Texas. Is the bike ride what got me sober? The book does not end with the end of the bike ride like a Hallmark movie, you know, like, yay, look, I got sober. Right? Not at all.

I had a couple more years to, you know, experience. Yet the bike ride was a big part of it, and there were a few more after that because those bike rides taught me that. I could be my authentic self, and these good Christian people that I was on this ride with, mm-hmm. They just loved me for who I was. They knew nothing about what was going on in me, and I don't think I've ever felt closer to God than I was those summers on my bike. And did the bike save me? No. But the bike was a huge tool that God blessed me with.

Dawn Damon: Wow, what a powerful story. You hear these stories of people sometimes, you know, starting to train and, and you still are battling addiction, but there's also now this fresh call coming into your life as you feel your body getting stronger, you feel your mind getting clearer. You feel like maybe victory is really possible. Freedom is really possible. What would you tell women listening who say, Man, I don't know if freedom is possible for me. Like you're telling my story, I'm hiding, I'm in the bathroom, drinking before I go to bed or whatever.

Sherry Hoppen: First of all, I would just, that's so hard for me to answer because I answer this question a lot, and it's hard to put into words because. In a meeting, I lead a Monday night meeting, and once in a while, I'll ask, What is the number one thing you wish you would've done differently?

Dawn Damon: Mm-hmm.

Sherry Hoppen: When you were trying to get sober. And every single woman will always say, I wish I had listened to the woman who said, You can do this. It's worth it.

Dawn Damon: Mm-hmm.

Sherry Hoppen: You're not as. Bad as you think you are, and someone else is doing the exact same thing. And with God, all things are possible. I hear this all the time. Mm-hmm. And I would hear that too. And I would think to myself, but you have no idea. You have no idea how bad my drinking is. You have no idea how much I've lied. You have no idea how much I have to hide. And I thought there was no one else like me. But there was and there is. And I would say you are not alone. And I would say get a hold of me. Contact me and I'll talk to you. Because there's a community of women out there, and my heart is for the faith-based woman, just because I feel like that's who she wants to talk to.

Absolutely. We fall harder. It's the way it is, but that's what I would say. You're not as special as you think you are. You know, you're uniquely you. Yes. But you can get out of this because, honestly, once you surrender, truly, truly, truly surrender, your life is gonna change in ways you never thought possible.

Dawn Damon: Mm-hmm. That's such great advice and great words. Is that why you started the Sailor House for recovery? Tell us about your ministry.

Sherry Hoppen: Yeah, so that is definitely part of the reason. So rehab wasn't an option. This is 13 years ago that I've, or not 13, 12 years ago that I've been sober and in rehab. There weren't many of 'em, especially, you know, around here, but five years ago, we went through addiction with another member of our family, and we wanted faith-based recovery for her. And we couldn't find it. We could not find it. We would call, and they would say whatever she worships, we're gonna encourage. And that was not enough for us. Mm-hmm. And we also couldn't find that middle lane. There were a lot of openings at, you know, the mission, which are awesome, wonderful resources, but that wasn't right for her. Or there's the $40,000 option for 28 days. Where's the middle lane? Where's the middle lane? And as I say to pastors, often when you look out in your congregation, where are you gonna drop off that woman or that woman or that woman, your daughter? Your wife, your sister, and you know, the average American woman. And that's where Sale House came from. And it's a passion that started with my husband and me, we just would talk about it, like there needs to be something like that, and behold, one day this house just kind of appeared, and I came home. Lo lo and behold Lo.

Yeah. I said, I think I found it. And he is like, Huh, found what? And I said, I think I found our rehab place. And he knew it, too, right away. And two years later, we opened, and here we are. And it's been amazing. It's been one of the hardest things I've ever done. Mm-hmm. But it's also been the most rewarding, and I absolutely love it. What I get to do every day is in so many ways.

Dawn Damon: That's so incredible. I've said those same words as a church planter. I said, it's the hardest thing I've ever done and the most rewarding thing I've ever done because it is transforming lives, changing lives, and that's what you're doing. It's beautiful. So your book is an award-winning book. You have 12 years of being sober. You've learned so much, and you can relate to so many women. How can they get a hold of you if they say, Yes, you are someone I need to speak to.

Sherry Hoppen: I have a website, she surrenders.com. There's a contact button on there, and there are a couple of different resources. There are a couple of different groups you could join.

Dawn Damon: Are those virtual or live?

Sherry Hoppen: One of them is the virtual, and one of them is like a forum, much like Facebook, but it's not Facebook, it's just through the website. Very private. Okay. And so there are two options there. Plus, you can email me. And I'm also @shesurrenderssherry on Instagram and She Surrenders on Facebook. Selah House Recovery is on Facebook and Instagram as well, and you can reach me any of those ways. Okay? I would love to hear from you, and of course, the book it's on Amazon and all the major booksellers.

Dawn Damon: And we will make sure that we have all of those links for you in the show notes. All of you wonderful, bravehearted women listening so that you can definitely find Sherry, or if you know of someone who needs this information. The book is called Sober Cycle: Pedaling Through Recovery One Day at a Time. Get your copy today.

Sherry, thank you so much for being with us. We appreciate it, and for everyone listening. Yes, Dawn Damon, your Braveheart mentor. I'll leave you like I always do. It's time for you, but maybe I won't leave you like I always do. Is it time for you to be honest about yourself, find your brave. Live your freedom!