Dawn Damon: Hi, Bravehearts, so glad to be with you again today. Well, we have a story for you today. My guest is an entrepreneur and event organizer, certified trainer, and nutritional coach with a deep passion for faith transformation and personal growth. You know, she fits right in here at the Brave Hearted Woman. She's the author of the powerful memoir, Outside God’s Umbrella: A Journey from Darkness to Divine Light. Welcome, Kelly Jansens Mensch.

Hey, Kelly!

Kelly Jansens Mensch: Hello. Thank you so much for having me on Dawn. I'm excited. I'm excited to share.

Dawn Damon: Absolutely. And I love what you said in the beginning. You love sharing your story because you get to testify to God's goodness and his deliverance, but you do have an amazing story. Tell us how the scroll started it all.

Kelly Jansens Mensch: Yes. Social media. So it's been a few years, but yeah, I was doing my business, traveling a lot, and I would use Twitter at that time. Now it's x as kind of a filler, kind of outta boredom in a little bit of connection, you know, because I just wasn't really home a lot. And so yeah, I started using that as, yeah, just kind of a filler in connection, but a connection with the wrong person, and just led down a dark tunnel.

Dawn Damon: So, you went down a very dark tunnel, it sounds like. And so you met someone online, and you started dating that individual. Is that what happened?

Kelly Jansens Mensch: Just a conversation, not dating per se. And it was just, you know, the casual. You know, out on the platform where everyone can see it. You know, he liked everything. I liked. Oh, you like this? You like dogs. Oh, you like, and it's like, oh my goodness, this person has so much in common with me. And then the conversation went into the messaging, you know, the private messaging. And we were talking in the messenger for, I don't know, maybe three months or so, and then he had suggested, Oh gosh, we should really meet up.

Dawn Damon: Ah, and so then did you finally meet up in person?

Kelly Jansens Mensch: I did, okay. And again, I wasn't looking for anything romantic. I was just, you know, maybe a friend to have dinner with. Just a connection. And again, we had so much in common, it seemed like, and after meeting up with him, it just, yeah, spiraled down a wrong path. And yeah, like they say, there, you know, 30 seconds, something can change, your life can change. Well, mine did, and it ended up where a person had died that evening, and I just woke up in a nightmare, and I was the prime suspect of this death. And yeah, you have to read my book for more information, but, and how it went, but just not in a million years did I think that I would be in trouble if a person had died. You know, I was just. Looking to have a conversation and dinner, and it just went really south, really fast.

Dawn Damon: Oh my goodness. Such intrigue. And so just a follow-up question for that. The person that you met online, is this the person who then died that night, or not?

Kelly Jansens Mensch: No, he did not. We had both of our cars, um, at this meetup spot. And so I don't know if I was driving my car home or not from our meetup, but it's totally wiped from my mind. I don't know what happened, but he was there. I was there, and then there was a person who was on the street, and it was a dark, rainy night, and my car was on the scene, and I clipped on my, you know. I killed this person, and you'll have to learn more about that. I don't really wanna get into that right now, but sure.

Dawn Damon: Yeah. Wow. So you know what an incredible story is, and again, we look forward to reading your book, but did you find any red flags along the way? I mean, one of the things that you say is that. You wanna help women who might be just brushing off red flags, what advice would you give someone who's doing that?

Kelly Jansens Mensch: Listen to that inner spirit, what we would call the Holy Spirit. And at that time, I would say that, well, I believed in God, in Jesus, and I was religious, but I wasn't really walking under God's umbrella. I did not have that true relationship with um God. And so I did have a, a tiny gut check. When he met me at a park, his picture that he sent to me online did not match when he got out of the truck. I'm like, wait a minute. He looks a lot older, you know, we exchanged pictures. We never talked on the phone, which was another red flag. We should have talked on the phone. So I had that gut check, and there were some other things, you know, he was a little goofy. We were playing fetch with my dog, and at that time, I should have just said, Okay, hey, great to meet you. I'm gonna go home now. But he had suggested that we go across the street and get snacks, beverages, or whatever, and I was being nice. I thought, okay, you know, this can't hurt. But that gut check that I had initially, I should have gone with it and, mm-hmm. There's, you know, you can be a nice person, but you know, don't do it to do it to a default. So yeah, red flags, and we do that. Yeah.

Dawn Damon: Yeah. We do that as women sometimes. Not all women, I don't want to generalize, but oftentimes, you know, we, because of our nurturing sense about us, so we don't wanna hurt someone's feelings. We wanna be nice, we want to believe the best. And, you know, someone can look really spiritual online, can't they? But it could be really far from God. What did you discover about that?

Kelly Jansens Mensch: Just yeah, to a lot of red flags, you know, went through this journey, which included being incarcerated, just looking back and, you know, don't trust people so willingly, you know, everybody's putting their best foot forward, right? So we don't see all the bee reels of, you know, of who they really are. We're always wanting to put our best foot forward and look great. And, you know, a court, you know, like the picture he gave me, an old photo of himself, you know? Mm-hmm. And somebody who's too eager to really wanna rush a friendship or relationship. You know, there's nothing wrong with just really talking and getting to know somebody. And in person, you know, it's nice that we at least have a video. You know, yes, I didn't have that option back then, or if I did. I didn't know about it. But something like this and just really getting to know them and, you know, maybe doing a little background check, you know, if you're gonna be, you know, and there's always to do that. And just, yeah, the transparency again, just really having a strong gut check, you know?

And now that I do have a relationship with God, I check, he's my gut check, you know, before, you know, even getting on this podcast today, you know, I counsel with him and, you know, just let his words, you know, work through me. Let God tell his story through me of how he used me. So. Yeah, that's all I have to say about that.

Dawn Damon: Yeah. Well, so, so insightful, and you know, today we know more about the dangers of social media. It can seem so innocent at first, and you're so right. We can make ourselves look like anything online. We can be whatever. We can live in a fantasy world. People live in a fantasy world. They can present themselves as something that they're not. So today we know much more about the danger, but there may still be people and women who are listening to this, who might not know what you just said is so important to verify, trust, and find ways to make sure, because that innocent-looking person could be a danger. It could be a doorway to your life. Spiraling outta control. Yes?

Kelly Jansens Mensch: Hmm. Yes, for sure. Yeah. And I know that my story is pretty extreme, but it only takes a little inch of that door to open, and you just don't know where it's gonna go. You know, you really have to be certain in your spirit that it's the right thing, and tell people where you're going. Hey, I met this person. You know, have a good, you know, crew around you. Strong people who are just like, Hmm. You know, maybe that was said, are you sure you wanna do that? You know, or let me go with you. You know, so yeah. A lot of lessons here. Learned, but this happened many years ago, I know that, yeah. People don't take this online stuff, you know, at face value, just really human interactions, the best interaction, and, you know, face-to-face. And also just really knowing in your spirit, you know, if something's off. Yes. Just knowing that at that time I was a little lonely, right? Mm-hmm. And we all looked for human connection, and so that was kind of my way to fill that loneliness was being online. You know, seeking a relationship or not a relationship, but friendships, sure, that way. And again, I wasn't looking for anything romantic. That was not my. A reason to meet this person, you know?

Dawn Damon: But that's really great. I'm glad you said that because I think loneliness clearly makes us vulnerable, and when we're lonely or in that position where we feel a little isolated, it feels so fun to meet a new friend or to fill that void, and so great words of wisdom there. But eventually, you hit rock bottom. I mean, this had to have brought you to rock bottom. How did God start to rebuild your life? Where did you go from there? I guess when you're at the bottom, you can cry out to God.

Kelly Jansens Mensch: Right. You can only look up. Oh yeah. Yeah. And he, God is so good. You know, he just brought people into my life to protect me. I mean, I was going somewhere that I'd never thought in a million years I would go. You know, an entrepreneur got rocking businesses going, got great friendships, and a great, great family. I had a lot going for me. I was scared. I was scared, very scared. But then he would put people in my life. And throughout my book, too, it was kind of like God connecting these people from my past that just kind of stepped up, like these angels that would step up at that time to guide me through this process. And I had to go forward. I mean, I had two choices, right? Either. You know, stay down in the valley and cry and have a lot of pity, or run away. But, I'm like, Nope, I gotta do this. I gotta go forward.

So I felt him just pulling me along, and more and more I was then trusting the father, trusting him, you know, that he was leading me to the right place. And, you know, for my good at the time, I was just like, you know, yeah. I mean, there was one moment where I was just like, you know, would it be better if, if I was the one that got killed, like. And obviously, there's this whole other family and this person that's no longer here, and I think about them all the time. But you have to move forward.

Dawn Damon: Yes.

Kelly Jansens Mensch: And you have to move forward, and you know, God works everything out for our good. Right. Something's so tragic and bad that I thought my life was over. I'm like, Oh, I'm gonna lose everything. And, I did. I kind of got stripped right down and then had to figure out, Okay, who am I now? You know, where is my identity found? And to me, that's Christ. It's Christ, you know, to make me. No. You know, okay, this is who I was back then. This is me, the stripped-down process, and this is me now, and that's why I'm telling my story, because I know God wants someone out there to hear this. Mm-hmm. And really, I'm not proud of this. You know, I could've just pushed this aside, and it would be just like, Okay. People forget. Forget about this, but I just felt that God wanted me to tell this story for someone, or someone's, you know? There's just, there's just many lessons. Many lessons.

Dawn Damon: Yes. Well, thank you for being brave and telling your story, because you're right. It is gonna help someone. I do actually know of another woman who also struck a pedestrian and lost their life. The amount of guilt and shame that. You're tempted to carry, and the enemy wants to keep on you, and you lose your voice for a while, and you are incarcerated. I don't know how long that was, but I can imagine stripped down to everything.

But when you say that you lost your identity, and who am I really? Now, do you have the same testimony that a lot of us have, where we say, you know, I thought I had a good life and I would never go through this again, but how God has rebuilt that identity. Makes it, can we even say worth it? Or at least his restoration is so good. It's hard to grieve that we went through that.

Kelly Jansens Mensch: Absolutely. Yeah. I mean, it's made me stronger, and I mean, there were a lot of things about the person that I was, so caught up in what people thought of me, you know?

Dawn Damon: Like there, and went that.

Kelly Jansens Mensch: Yeah. Well, well, yeah, there that went and people pleaser, you know, and, and again, that's nice, I mean, you know, I'm still some of that, but I've learned to be stronger. I've learned to draw boundaries. It's not all about Kelly. It's not all about like Kelly's this. She's great. I was identifying with all those things that the world gives us, and I'll tell you, it is like a hundred percent better to identify with Christ and the rewards that he gives you.

You know, the things that you can't buy, the things the places. You get that through Christ, you know, the peace and the forgiveness, the freedom. I'm free from all that stuff. I'm free, I'm stripped down and, you know, he's rebuilding me. He's still, he's gonna be working on me until the day I die, you know? And it's a process. And I am not perfect. I'm not perfect. And I'm God, guys can be working on me every day, every day.

Dawn Damon: Yeah. Amen. It is a process, and that's an important word for us all to remember, that it's not an overnight thing. It is a daily and consistent working of God's grace and us being willing to take those brave steps, be disciplined, listen, and pay attention to God's voice and his direction in our lives. And at some point, God directed you. I believe the Holy Spirit began to stir in you to write this book outside God's umbrella, a journey from Darkness to Divine Light. Tell us what the writing process is like for you.

Kelly Jansens Mensch: Ooh.

Dawn Damon: Yeah.

Kelly Jansens Mensch: I bet. Well, I'm not a writer. I actually was at a conference for fitness. You know, I'm a fitness coach and a nutritional coach, and there was a gentleman there, uh, for self-publishing. And again, it was like a divine meetup. He had not happened to have any appointments at that time. His schedule was filled, and I walked by, you know, we were from the same hometown, and I'm in a different state, and I said, Hey, I wanted to say hi. And he is like, Well, come on, sit down. I'm like, oh, you know, I thought you were busy. No, you'll sit down. And then he says, Are you gonna write a book? I'm like. No, I just wanted to say hi, you know, be friendly, and he is like, well, he goes, I'm sure you have some stories. I'm like, Oh yeah, I have a few stories. And he goes, and it just came, that spirit rose in me. He goes, Can you tell me one? I said, Sure, I'll tell you one. And in a nutshell, I told him what had happened to me and he is mouth dropped. And he is like, you gotta tell that. And I'm like, why would I tell that? He goes, What if you could help people? And it was like this light went off 'cause I had no inkling to write a book. Again, I am not a writer, and here I am. I went to a fitness concert, or a conference, but I walked out with a publishing contract. So that's how that all came about. But that was a God thing. This happened to me years ago. Years ago, and I'm just like, that's done. I'm moving forward. And so definitely a God thing, you know? I mean, there, it's not a coincidence. This guy was from the same town, hometown as me, in a different state. I'm at a totally different like, you know, fitness writing. No. That was God. Just like, okay, here you go, Kelly. Keep on moving.

Dawn Damon: Yep. It's so cool how God orchestrates everything and those divine surprises. I mean, you can't say that wasn't God. You run into this person. You walk out with a contract. Incredibly cool. That's what life is like when you live under the umbrella of God.

Kelly Jansens Mensch: Amen.

Dawn Damon: The title of your book is Outside God’s Umbrella: A Journey from Darkness to Divine Light. How would you describe now the difference between outside the umbrella and under the umbrella?

Kelly Jansens Mensch: Oh, it's just, it's again, having that peace and that security, you know, knowing that you're not truly alone, like God is right there with you. I just felt so alone before, again, lonely. I was looking for some kind of connection, and I had it all. I mean, I had a very great career, friends, you know, and I'm traveling all over the place. Things were, you know, worldly; they were good, but inside I was dying. But God can give you, you know, that freedom, that security, and instead of going to social media, I go to God, I go to God now and in prayer and have that daily connection with him. He has opened up so many doors, you know, and his ways are higher, right?

And they're not like how you think things are gonna happen, and it's, you know, you could be at the grocery store and there's a connection or something and you're like, what? You know, like, but a heightened awareness of the Holy Spirit. Like, just working, like, okay, this is your next step. This person here, this person's gonna get you over here. And I do, I feel, and you know, does that mean that? You know, uh, bad things don't happen to good people. They do. They do. And it's, it's who you go through the fire with. And who is with you? I am under the Almighty's umbrella. I'm walking under his umbrella now. And before I was outside, I was outside that. And again, without God in my life, I can't do life alone, 'cause that proved to not be the wrong track. I need God.

Dawn Damon: Yeah. Amen.

The book is called Outside God’s Umbrella: A Journey from Darkness to Divine Light. Kelly, where can they find your book? 'Cause we all wanna read it.

Kelly Jansens Mensch: It's on Amazon, so. Yep. Check it out. This is what it looks like. So cool. Little cover there. It's a very short read, but yeah. Amazon. Just go look it up. Underneath my name or Outside God's umbrella. Yeah. Provide, share it. I think it's a good book for everyone, not just women. I mean, these things happen to men, too, you know? Or say college-age kids or you're, you know, at a party or in an establishment where there's drinks and it's just good. You know? So social media. Be aware of who you hang out with, where you're at, and just, yeah, loneliness and dating, there are a lot of categories that this book hits, and I just want to make sure that it helps someone. And that's why I wrote it. You know, you don't get rich being an author. It's about, it's more of a, a, a mission for me to, it's a ministry to get, yeah. Get this out and just help someone or someone's.

Dawn Damon: Yes. Thank you for sharing that, and thank you for that point that this isn't just a women's issue. It's a men's issue too because life happens to both of us, and it's important that we remember, 'cause as a survivor of abuse, we think of women being abused, but men are abused, sexually abused, and wounded as well. So thank you for that point.

Hey, what would you say to the bravehearted woman in this case, who is listening and who might feel like what they've gone through? It's just too much, and they can't recover.

Kelly Jansens Mensch: You can recover. I was at that point where I mentioned earlier, where it's just like, you know, Why am I still here? You know, like, what do I have to look forward to? What, you know, I, I was so, yeah. Full of shame and guilt, and just like, I don't know what's next. There is a next. There is a what's next if you're walking under God's umbrella because he will just, he will just lift you up. He will fill you full of peace and freedom. And we were all chosen. We're all chosen. We all have a path, and God designed you for a very special reason.

Yeah, there is hope. So, keep on walking forward under God's umbrella.

Dawn Damon: Amen. Thank you for being with us, Kelly. We so appreciate you, and we're so thankful for God's redemptive process in your life.

Hey, Bravehearts, if you're struggling with identity and you'd like to grow in that, you'd like to expand your identity and really. Truly dive into who God says you are. Take The 7-Day Identity Challenge for Midlife Women of Faith. You can find that at my website, braveheartedwoman.com. And also, you can find more about Kelly at KJ-FITT.com or goblackdoggo.com.

Kelly Jansens Mensch: That's my website. So goblackdoggo.com, that's my event website, but I have, uh, a page for my authorship and where to get the book, et cetera. Otherwise, you can find me on most socials under @KellyJansens or @KellyJansensMensch.

Dawn Damon: And we'll have all those links for you in our show notes, so make sure you click on those. Wonderful to be with you and all of you, Bravehearts. I'm gonna leave you like I always do. Is this your moment to find your brave and live your dreams!