Deborah Weed: Thank you, Dawn. I'm so excited to be here.

Dawn Damon: Thank you, Deborah.

Hey, bravehearts, I have a beautiful guest for you, as you can see, and I wanna let you know. My guest today is a creative whirlwind. Yes, she is. She's the founder of the Self-Worth Initiative, an organization dedicated to promoting self-esteem and positive mental health, all things that we're about here on The BraveHearted Woman Podcast, and she's also an award-winning author. She's an artist and the founder of. Quills up a movement guiding women to reclaim their power. She is a storytelling genius. Once again, welcome, Debra. We're so glad you're with us today.

Deborah Weed: Thank you so much, Donna. I'm so excited to be here.

Dawn Damon: Well, you know, you and I were talking before we started recording. We have a story to tell, and you have a story to tell that both of us are excited to dive into. You went, Deborah, from being a branding executive to suddenly being three years bedridden with a misdiagnosis. I'm so eager to hear your story. Tell us a little bit about it.

Deborah Weed: Absolutely. When I was a kid, Dawn, and probably like so many of us, I was an all-heart empath. Really, really sensitive. But sensitivity when I was growing up in my day was a negative thing, a weakness.

So I decided very young to try to be anything other than what I was, which meant corporate. Here I come. So I ended up as the director of development for Citibank's 19 branches. And I also worked on a $26 million pavilion with Disney and Universal consultants for Kia Motors and Tejan Korea for Kia Motors.

And what a pavilion is, is it is a small world after all, anything that's inside a ride, what they call a ride show. So I thought I had it made and my esteem. Which I didn't know was different than self-worth at the time was way up there. I had the shoulder pads, I had the heels, I had the outfits. I had everything I thought, but I was out of alignment with my spirit.

Dawn Damon: Hmm, that's such a powerful statement. Out of alignment with your spirit, does that mean out of alignment with your calling and your passion and your purpose? Or what do you mean by that?

Deborah Weed: What I mean specifically by that is, is that I was all heart. And when we're in corporate, a lot of times think about it is very cerebral.

You're in the thinking mode a lot. It's not heart-centered or heart-forward. There's some companies that are, but most of them are, you know, they're gonna drive you and you're gonna be driven. In fact, I didn't smile very much at all. Oh, wow. And so I think that because I was off track, I got the two by four that sometimes we get from spirit. Yes. To kind of realign us. And boy was it rough.

Dawn Damon: Right. I wanna hear about it. You're reminding me of the line in the movie, A League of Their Own, where Tom Hanks goes, There's no crying in baseball. There's no crying in corporate.

Deborah Weed: Exactly. And there's no, and you're supposed to be, you know, really, really. Like I said, not heart-centered. Mm-hmm. Which I was born to be. So what happened to me is, is that I had something and I was misdiagnosed for three long years. Wow. And what it looked like and felt like is, for me, it felt like labor. Every single day, every time I had to go to the bathroom, a little bit of a trigger warning. It just felt like I was gonna explode.

The pain was off the charts, and I was weak beyond belief. So, as any other person would do, I went to the doctors looking for the answers. And the first doctor I saw, Dr. Hirata, an expert and said, Deborah, we think you have Ms. But it's in your brainstem, and they won't know until you die. And I'm like, okay, what can we do about that? Well, nothing. So then I go to the next doctor, and the next doctor says to me, I believe that it's Lou Gehrig's. And you know, from the symptoms that you're explaining and that we won't know until, you know, a little while later. And then I go to the third doctor, because obviously nobody's really helping me. And he says, it's all in my head.

Dawn Damon: Oh, that's helpful.

Deborah Weed: That was helpful, and for so many people who might be, you know, have long COVID or something going on right now, sometimes when you think you have a strong voice, right, you think that you are going to be heard. You think if you're corporate, you're powerful, but your voice is being diminished into nothingness.

And that's what happened for me to the point where, you know, there were times where I just didn't even know how it was gonna hold on. I really didn't. And then. It was a penny that helped to save my life.

Dawn Damon: Oh, I have to hear the story about that. You know, you talk about your voice being diminished, and that happens to so many of us when we think that, you know, others know more about the situation that we're going through. Plus, our bodies are being plagued with pain, and we're bodies, souls, and spirits. So it affects every part of our being. And suddenly you found yourself just shrinking and being just in this dark place. I wanna hear what happened next.

Deborah Weed: Well, first of all, let me do an exclamation point when you said shrinking. Yes. Because I think that's exactly, that's the word what I use all the time.

Dawn Damon: Is it? Yeah.

Deborah Weed: Drinking. You get into a place where you have felt powerful, but you're looking to humans. To help you navigate life rather than going to the source. I learned the hard way. Again, I was looking to humans to tell me who I was.

Dawn Damon: Oh my goodness.

Deborah Weed: And it got me thinking, wait a minute, if a penny, something that people wouldn't even bend over to pick up unless they're like into lucky pennies, could be worth that much. Because remember, I felt worthless. I felt like I was nothing. And then I hear about something that is kind of worthless.

Hmm. And it set my imagination on fire. And I was like, you know what? I think I'd like to create a storybook for kids and create a musical. And if I ever get out of this situation and find out what's going on for me, I'm going to start the self-worth initiative, change my life radically get back into alignment.

And be motivated to be heart-centered, heart first, and go on to create, you know, musical stories, uh, to really embed the whole idea of self-worth. And I wanna stop here for a second because. Most people think self-esteem and self-worth are the same thing, right? Talk to us about that. Are not, yeah.

Self-esteem is when I do something; if I do something amazing, I was the director of development for Citibank. Ding, ding, ding. Great self-esteem. Working with Disney and Universal consultants. Great self-esteem. But when you're in bed. For three years and you can't do anything. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Where do you get your worth?

Yes. So self-worth is our inherent worth, what we were born with. It's essentially what God has given us.

Dawn Damon: Yes.

Deborah Weed: And we are the ones that absolutely, positively need to claim it. And I didn't know that at the time. That's.

Dawn Damon: So insightful, Deborah, because it's true. I mean, and neither one is wrong, but self-worth at the end of the day will carry you through the storms, through the ups and the downs, because that's our human beingness, not our human doingness, human doing is.

It's okay to have good self-esteem, but if your value is solely on what you do, and now you can't do what you used to do. Right? And so then it was like you, your self-esteem just plummeted. But you found out that you were still worthy and still had purpose and calling, and I wanna hear how you got well, but then you, this was an opportunity for you really to come forth in your true purpose. This creativity was part of your recovery. Yes.

Deborah Weed: Oh, creativity is everything. Because think about it. Most of us, a lot of us have these boulders inside of us. Old pain, regrets, things that are going on. But where does creativity come from? Creativity is inspiration. It drops down.

Yeah, like if I say to you, come up with a story right now, you might be like, I don't know, but you go in the shower and then all of a sudden something drops in. Where did it come from? It's meant to watch away that rock and be expressed. Mm-hmm. You know? So that's what I learned. So, anyway, I ended up with a brilliant doctor who did a blood test. Now get this a simple. Blood test. When he did it, he found out that my iron was between three and six. You're usually supposed to be at a 15. He said, I don't know how you're alive. You should have been dead. Another trigger warning, I'd been, I had been hemorrhaging. But, uh, the gynecologist I had gone to had said, well, that's just perimenopause, nothing to worry about.

Mm-hmm. So what they found out after this is, is that I had a fibroid tumor the size of a grapefruit behind my uterus. So you can imagine what that would feel like when you had to go to the bathroom. It was excruciating. And once they found that I had a hysterectomy and was restored to health and back to the vision that I believe was always meant for me, and throughout my life, I've had two other very questionable health challenges that are all in the very different realm, but I truly believe now. In retrospect, even though, boy, it was a white knuckle ride every which way that everything was meant to come to where I am today and why I'm doing what I'm doing now.

Dawn Damon: It's so beautiful that we can find that we've landed right smack dab in the middle of our purpose. God's will for our life, our God dream through adversity. Like you said in your bio, not despite the setbacks, but because of them, you found purpose, and you lived a chapter of your life or a couple of chapters using gifts. You certainly are brilliant enough to be, you know, the CEO or all the things that you did, but like you said, you were not in alignment.

So I'm gonna shift gears just for a moment because absolutely there are some things I wanna talk about. You are the author of a book called If Only. You also are the head of a movement, and you talk about the porcupine's quills. I wanna hear about that and the musical paisley. So all of these things, how can you share with us those and what they mean?

Deborah Weed: Yes, if only it were actually a fable for adults. I'm gonna be honest, I have struggled with faith. I have struggled with faith because many times it was as if only I was healthy. I mean, like that little kid in me is like, God, I just wanted to do good. How could you put me on the sidelines? So many times, what's going on?

Yeah. I don't get it. Mm-hmm. So to handle that angst in myself, I came up with a story of a snowflake who needs to take her leap of faith. But when she takes her leaf of faith, she goes along with faith. So that faith is answering a lot of her questions as she falls. And the first line, one of the first lines, is only when you're falling that you can be lifted.

Mm. And that's kind of the premise of this story is like this little snowflake saying to the birds, Why don't I have wings? Why can't I fly where I want to? And faith gives her the answer. Mm-hmm. And then she lands on a tree, and she's like, Why can't I have roots? So that I can stay grounded, faith gives me the answer.

So as she goes through hi her journey, I am sure everybody knows where snowflakes end up. There's always an answer with faith, giving her something. So it was my human angst. And my wish, and knowing that we're combined in this story, and I'm very, very proud of it. In fact, so many people will read it and say, You brought me to tears, and I'm like, Yes.

Dawn Damon: Yeah. I can feel that right now. Just listening to you. I'm thinking, I definitely wanna read that. What a brilliant concept. And pulling the heartstrings at the same time. Beautiful. Thank you. I'm also really intrigued by the porcupine quills. Up we go. That's the name of the movie. Go. What is that? Go?

Deborah Weed: Yes. So one of the other stories that I did was called Paisley's Last Quill, and essentially did this in the beginning for little girls, but I always dreamed of doing like a Broadway musical. So what it's about is a little porcupine who dreams of being a fashion designer. But in the animal fashion world, she needs to give away her quills or her protection to pin up the couture designs of Zanna, a very over-the-top couture diva of the fashion forest. And what I was trying to get across was the whole idea that, especially for little girls, we give away our power because quills are meant to protect us. And yet we're the ones that give it away for love, for belonging, for so many to, you know, fit in, to think that we're good enough.

And in this story, she gives away all her quills, but one, and it's what she does with the last quill that makes a difference. This was a five-star book. The mothers loved it, and they came back to me and said, Hey, that's great that you did it for our kids, but what about us? We give away our quilts, we give away our power.

What do you have? And so after another five year stretch of a lot of things that happened to me personally, after COVID, I decided, you know what? I'm going for it. I'm going for Paisley the musical. I love Wicked. I love The Lion King. I love the messages. Why not take that story that I so love, that's already proven with all five stars, and go for it? And that's where you find me now.

Dawn Damon: So tell me about the musical. Is it ready to go? Can we see it? What happens next?

Deborah Weed: Great question. So usually what happens in this instance is, is that you need $14 to $40 million to produce. What I'm thinking of, and I don't have that kind of money, but I'm all heart, and what I learned from the Disney and Universal people is, is that if everybody's going left.

You go, right? Oh, so way back in the day with hair, they actually started with the album first, with, you know, where's the Sunshine? And you know Aquarius. Yes. And from that, everything was launched, and I think that's so brilliant and doable. Like, beyond doable. So I've gathered an amazing team. We're creating the music now.

We have five songs that're gonna come out on an album coming up really soon, right around the corner. We're gonna get that out there, get the excitement going, and then from there, make things happen. Because look at it this way, let's just say that we sell the album to a million people. What kind of monies and, and the cost is gonna be according to what anybody wants to pay for.

If somebody wants to pay a penny, great. If somebody wants to pay a hundred thousand dollars, great, great. But let's say that that really starts to happen, we will be able to move forward because a lot of times in musicals, it takes like 5, 7, 10 years to workshop, put it together. I'm a grandma, Dawn. I don't have time for that. I'm ready to jump in and make a difference now. So that's the way that we're moving forward. And I said, It's amazing.

Dawn Damon: That’s incredible. And I just wish you all the very best because that musical needs to be available. We need to see that. And so you've birthed it, you've given it your all, and you know, now it's gonna grab wings.

I like the bird, not the snowflake. It's gonna fly. It's gonna soar, it's gonna go, you know, I just. Totally believe that. So, you know, as our time is, um, coming to a close, Debra, so great to speak with you. You're encouraging us, you know, as you just said a moment ago, and these are my words, not yours, but you know, we're not spring chickens here. We are in the best last potential third of our lives. Can we really reinvent at this age? Can we really overcome the grief, the trauma, the loss, and go on to have a significant. Last third of life. What say you?

Deborah Weed: I say absolutely because if you use the trauma and everything that's happened for you and you realize, let me put it a different, a very important way, what's the difference between failure and regret?

Failure. If you try something, let's say, and you're planting a seed, you might get your hands dirty. It might feel like you're learning, and oh my gosh, there are setbacks. But you might get a surprise flower. Yeah. But if you have regret, you never plant that seed. And so nothing ever has the potential to grow.

And if God is the water. Yes, and we're not. We just step out of the way and see what happens. So to answer your question, I encourage everybody to take my hand. Take your hand, jump into life, give it a try, because we're never too old. We're never too damaged. We're never too anything to try again.

Dawn Damon: Yeah, so well said.

So beautifully said. I joined those sentiments so much. I believe that as well. When a second half of life just happened to me, we have those choices. Am I gonna be courageous? Am I gonna lay here in the fetal position? Am I gonna quit or am I gonna allow that creative download to saturate my life and believe that God's got more and better and richer for me, even if it is a flower? You know. It's enough. If whatever it is, it's enough. Debra, where can people find you? Do you offer a course or a coaching? Is it your book? Is it? How do we support you?

Deborah Weed: You would support me by going to Paisley's Fashion Forest, and if you're a singer, dancer, creative investor, producer, or even no matter what age you're any age, please DM me, contact me, because I'm gonna be keeping my eyes open for the next Idina Menzel. For the next, those people who really shine, and I don't care how many influencers you have, it could be two, but if you've got it, contact me.

As far as my books, that's really where, you know, I can offer inspiration now. And if you look at my IG Instagram, it's @deborah.weed. And I look forward to getting to know everybody. But thank you so much, Dawn. This has been amazing.

Dawn Damon: Thank you. And you are just an absolutely beautiful soul. You are a bravehearted woman, and we thank you for bringing your story to us. And we'll have all of your links and things available in the show notes.

So, hey, Bravehearts. This has been amazing, right? I know that you've enjoyed this, and maybe you're ready to reignite your confidence. Maybe you are ready to awaken your courage and step into your next and find that God-given clarity without second-guessing, without shrinking, and without wondering. If it's too late, well, check me out too. I have a transformational course that will change your life. Visit me at the brave hearted woman.com/brave hearted transformation for the woman who knows she's meant for more. This is your moment to rise in confidence. Dawn Damon, your Braveheart mentor leaving you as I always do. It's time for you to find your brave and live your dreams.