Amanda Paolicelli:
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What's up, radiant icons and welcome back to Dare To Be
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Iconic, the podcast made for icons
who are daring to be themselves.
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I'm your host, Amanda Paolicelli,
and for today's tea time sesh, we
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are spilling the tea on why you are
exactly where you are meant to be
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because you are not late radiant icon.
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No, no, no, no.
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You are becoming today's Tea Time sesh
is all about that pressure of falling
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behind, whether that's in love, in
success, career, healing, whatever it
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is, we are diving into that pressure.
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We are dissecting it, and we are learning
how to trust that our timing is divine.
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It is not delayed.
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But before we get into all of that piping
hot tea, make sure to connect with me
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on socials on Instagram and TikTok.
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It's @amandapaolicelli_ and
@daretobeiconic_ And if you're
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on LinkedIn, radiant icons.
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You already know what I'm gonna say
because I love me some LinkedIn, make
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sure to connect with me on there.
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It's Amanda Paolicelli.
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All of my socials will be
linked in the show notes below.
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And also radiant icons.
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While you're in the show notes
connecting with me on socials, make
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sure to check out our two years,
one Iconic celebration order form.
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As you know, Dare To Be Iconic, just
celebrated it's second birthday, and as we
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go into year three, we need to celebrate.
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So we're celebrating all month long
here at Dare To Be Iconic 'cause you
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know, we love an iconic celebration
and while we are having an exclusive
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sale that you could only findat Dare
To Be Iconic, and all the information
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regarding that exclusive sale, which
is a merch piece of your choosing
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from the Radiant Reign Collection and
our breakup journal, they are paired
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together for an exclusive bundle price.
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You can find all that information
in the show notes below for our
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Two Years, One Iconic celebration.
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Now that we have done our housekeeping
here at Dare To Be Iconic,
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let's get to the tea, shall we?
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Let's spill some piping hot tea on
why you are exactly where you are
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meant to be, because you are not late.
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You are what you are
becoming radiant icon.
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So are you ready for your tea time
sesh because it's starting now.
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So I'm gonna shake things up a
little bit for this tea time sesh.
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I mean, why not?
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It's a new season, it's a new
energy and well, it's just iconic.
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But anyway, as we dive into this
tea time sesh, right, and dissect
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that feeling of falling behind
in whatever area of life it is.
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I challenge you to think of this prompt.
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When was the last time you
told yourself you were behind?
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And what did you feel like
you should have already done?
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And when I think of this prompt,
radiant icons, I think of a couple
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months ago, actually, not even a couple
months ago, a month ago, exactly, on a
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random Wednesday night getting drinks,
one of my really good girlfriends.
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And that was the last time I
told myself that I was behind.
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Now what did I feel like I
should have already done by then?
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Well.
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It's not gonna be a shocker here that I'm
gonna say this, but, oh well, here we go.
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Here goes nothing.
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I feel like I'm behind in
love, the honest truth.
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I'm 26 years old, I'll be 27 on December
19th of this year, and I've never been
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in love and I think, or I feel like I
should have already done that already.
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I should have already been in love by now.
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I feel behind in the love department.
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For me, that's a big insecurity that I
am battling and that I am dealing with
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'cause I look around even when I was
in my previous relationship, right?
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I would look around at all my girlfriends
and they would have experiences
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in dating or in love in general.
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And I don't have that.
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When I was dating my past partner, right?
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Everything was very new for me.
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There were a lot of new
feelings coming up, and there
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were a lot of new experiences.
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Everything was just new, right?
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Because I was so inexperienced
in the dating department.
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And when I came out of that relationship,
heartbreak was the only thing that was
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familiar to me if I'm being honest.
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Because if there's one thing that
I know I can confidently do in
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life is turn my pain into power.
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And heartbreak was a comfortable feeling
for me, if I'm being honest, because
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I've already dealt with that before.
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I already knew what to expect,
but this other feeling outside of
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heartbreak, this this feeling of
just looking around and being like,
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oh my God, did I miss my moment?
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Did I miss my moment to fall in love
because I was too scared to do it
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after the letter in the box right?
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I was too scared to put myself out
there romantically and get hurt again.
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That's why I waited three years.
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And then when I finally did
it and I was like, you know
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what, I'm just gonna go for it.
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I'm just gonna put my heart on the line
and then have it blow up in my face.
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I was like, oh wow.
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I really am behind in this department
'cause I don't know what to expect.
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I don't know what to do when these things
come up, and I know a lot of people say,
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oh, relationships are so unique and you
have to figure them out and this and that.
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Like everyone's different.
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I get that.
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I understand that.
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However, that doesn't negate
the feeling that I still feel
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like I'm falling behind in love.
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I am 26 years old and
I've never been in love.
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I've never had a happy, truly happy
experience with this concept of love.
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All I've ever had is pain.
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All I've ever had is brokenness.
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All I've ever had is just shit.
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If I'm being honest, I have been
so unlucky in romantic love.
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I am so lucky in platonic love
and familial love and like maybe
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that's enough, but part of me
still thinks like, damn, Amanda,
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you really don't know what
the hell you're doing.
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You, you really are behind in this,
this concept of what love is and
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how to experience it and all these
other things that are mixed up in it.
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And so when I think back of
that prompt, radiant icons.
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For me, that's what I struggle with.
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For me, that's what I think
of, oh, I should have already
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been in love by now, right?
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I should have already had those
experiences, but I don't, and then I go
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deeper into the, oh, well, shit, did I
miss my moment because I was too scared?
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I was too scared to get hurt again.
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I closed myself off to the
possibility of falling in love.
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That's why I waited three years
and didn't do anything about it.
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And then for this breakup to
happen, I just feel like an
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idiot and it puts me back to that
place of, holy shit, I really.
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I really am just behind.
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I look around at everyone, whether
it's on social media or one of my,
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you know, not even one of my, a lot
of my friends are in happy, healthy
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relationships, and I keep thinking,
huh, when is it gonna be my turn?
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When is it gonna be my turn?
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Because I have the career.
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I have the career that I want.
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I have the success that
I've only dreamed of, right?
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It's my reality now.
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But love.
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For me, that's the pressure where
I feel like, oh my God, I am behind
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and I have to remind myself that
everyone's timeline is different.
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We could be on the same chapter, right?
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We can both be on chapter 26 of our lives,
but my chapter 26 and your chapter 26
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are going to look completely different
because we both are on completely
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different paths on where we are supposed
to be at to become the versions of
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ourselves that we are meant to be.
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And so when I think of, oh, I should
have been there already, or, oh, I should
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have done that, or, oh, I should have
done, like, all those little things that
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love to tell me that, oh, you, you just
aren't, you just, you're just not there.
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You're just not there, Amanda, when all
those voices come flooding in, right?
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I have to remind myself that
all of our timelines are going
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to look completely different.
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And every detour in life is leading us
to exactly where we are meant to be.
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And sometimes, yeah, it does feel like,
oh, I'm a little bit late to the party.
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Why I did.
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No one tell me It's started at
nine o'clock and I'm here at 11.
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Right?
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Why do I feel like I'm late?
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But the truth is.
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You're not, you are not late.
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You just aren't supposed to be
experiencing that emotion, that
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feeling, or that experience, right?
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That adventure at that point in your life.
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For me, in chapter 26 of my life, I
was not meant to be in a relationship.
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I mean, clearly, right?
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Because it ended.
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And I also think this, when
things are not meant to be in your
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life and you're in them, right?
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So case in point, my prior relationship,
I thought, oh, this is the perfect time
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for me to be in a relationship, right?
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And I tried my all and well
things didn't work out.
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I mean, we all know they
didn't work out, right?
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I mean, we have a whole
new era because of it.
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But that was the universe telling me
that this relationship is not where
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you're supposed to be in your life.
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It's not supposed to be
in your path right now.
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So we're gonna create a detour, right?
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We're gonna have you break up.
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We're gonna have that relationship
no longer exists so that you can get
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back on the path of where you were
supposed to be so you can become the
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Amanda that you are supposed to become.
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The universe is going to figure out ways
to literally break, take away, rip away
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from you, however you wanna phrase it.
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What is not supposed to be in your path
or in your life for that specific chapter?
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That's why you're gonna feel friction
and you're gonna feel resistance
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when it doesn't feel right,
because it's not meant for you.
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And that's also a tough pill to
swallow because like, damn, I
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thought it was the right thing.
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Right?
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That's why I made the decision
to have him be my boyfriend.
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That's why I made the decision to be in
that relationship with him, because I
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thought for myself that was the right
thing to do for this chapter of my life.
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But the universe had other plans
for me and said, hell no, girl
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we're getting you out of it.
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And that's why we broke up.
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I mean, there was a lot of other
reasons why we broke up, as we all
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know from the previous episodes.
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But that was the universe telling me
that this relationship is not meant to be
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in my path or in my life, especially in
this chapter, in this chapter of my life.
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I had to take the detour of going on
that relationship and get broken up
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with to then become this Amanda that
is free, that is liberated, that is
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empowered, that is finding joy and
giving herself permission to live.
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Because I would've never gotten to
this amanda, that you are hearing
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right now or for if you're on YouTube.
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Hello.
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Hi.
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How are you?
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That you and the Amanda that you are
seeing right here on your screen.
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That Amanda would not be existent if
I didn't go into that relationship
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and have that detour happen to realign
me to where I'm supposed to go.
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And that's the exact same
thing I'm gonna tell you guys.
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Even when we feel behind, even when we
feel like, oh, we missed our moment,
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and even when we're in the things that
we think are right, the universe knows
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exactly where we are meant to be.
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And if it is not meant for you, it's
gonna make sure you are not in it.
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Right?
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And then going back to the, oh, I feel
like I should be X, y, and z, la la, la.
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I challenge you to do this when you
are feeling behind radiant icons.
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Because I have started doing it
and it has been so beneficial.
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I challenge you to think of this.
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How can you hold gratitude for the
season of life that you are in, even
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if it's not the one you imagined?
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I never thought at 26 years old, I
would've gotten into my first relationship
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after being single for so long, and then
for it to only end within a three month
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period, and then after that have this
rebirth of who I am now, I would've never
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imagined that the version of Amanda that
I am today would've happened because I was
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in a relationship and got broken up with.
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I would've never imagined that.
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If you would've told me January of
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2025
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you're gonna get into a relationship
and it's only gonna last three months
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and you're gonna break up, and then
you're gonna create a whole new era.
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I would've been like, huh?
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I would've been like, what?
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I've been like, please
don't give that to me.
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I said, universe, do not give that to me.
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Give that to someone else.
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Right.
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I, I would've said that.
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But, but I need to learn how
to accept the gratitude for the
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season that I'm in right now.
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And the truth is, I am in the
heartbreak, rebuilding myself
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stage or season of my life.
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I need to hold gratitude for that
and understand that falling in love,
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or even the idea of being in love
with someone else, that romantic
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love is not meant for me right now.
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Because I'm supposed to be on this
path of truly learning who Amanda is
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in this new era of freedom, in this
new era where she's giving herself
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permission to live her life, I cannot
do thatwith someone attached to me.
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Right?
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I can't do that with a partner.
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I, I just can't, I don't
think that's in my DNA.
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I think I have to be
independent right now.
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I have to learn or enjoy, right?
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How to be in my own presence again.
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Going back to the season three premiere
radiant icons, just last week Solo, Not
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Lonely: How To Be Your Own Best Friend.
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I have to learn how to be my own
best friend in this stage of life
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because I've never done that before.
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That is the season that I'm in, and
that is the gratitude that I'm holding.
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I am learning and enjoying
how to be in my own presence.
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I'm learning how solitude truly
can be empowering, and I'm
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learning that love right now.
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Romantic love is just not in the
cards for me and that is okay.
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Maybe I'm meant to just talk to a couple
of guys, have a little roster of fans
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and just learn what I do and don't
like, because before my ex-boyfriend.
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I never dated.
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I didn't know what the hell I wanted,
you know, and I, I talked to him.
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I thought, oh, he's a great guy,
like this and that, blah, blah, blah.
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And then we got into a relationship.
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Maybe, maybe I'm in this stage of my
life, the season of my life, to now
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do what I didn't do before I went
into that relationship and truly learn
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what I want and what I need, because
I just went through that, right?
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I just went through a relationship where I
learned a lot about myself and thank you.
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Good riddance are outta my life.
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But now.
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Now I can take that and build
on this list while I get to know
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other people, while also getting
to know myself and my independence.
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Maybe that's what I hold gratitude for and
maybe that's the realization I'm having
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right here, right now on this mic yapping
to you all about my life, maybe that's it.
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And I think it is.
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And so I challenge you when you
have this this overwhelming feeling
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that you are behind in life, and
that, oh, maybe I missed my moment.
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There is no such thing as feeling
as if you missed your moment,
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because every moment in your life
is detailed perfectly to you on the
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timeline that you are meant to be on.
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There is no such thing as falling behind
because you are never falling behind
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on the path that is meant for you.
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You are never late to
the party of your life.
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You just aren't.
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Okay?
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You're the party point blank period.
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So I challenge you radiant icons to think
of the gratitude in these in-between
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stages of life that are messy, that are
weird, and you know what or necessary,
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because it's the in-between, in the
becoming stages of who we are meant
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to be that are the most powerful.
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So lean into it and be grateful.
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Find what you are grateful for in
the season of your life, even if
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it is not one that you imagined.
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And I also wanna mention radiant icons
that becoming isn't perfect, right?
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Becoming isn't glamorous.
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In fact, it's the exact opposite.
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It's messy and it's chaos, and
it's those often unseen moments.
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You are actively figuring out
who you are meant to become.
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And that shit isn't pretty.
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That shit honestly is mostly dark and
heavy and emotional, and there's gonna
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be tears and you know, there's gonna be
times where you choose to start again.
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And there's gonna be times where,
you know what, maybe it is happy.
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Maybe there are some
rainbow and sunshines.
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But you know what?
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It's not always like that.
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It's really not.
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In this stage of becoming, for me
personally, I can tell you firsthand
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I have cried so much, and I know it
probably doesn't seem like it when I'm
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on this podcast yapping about my life
or maybe through my social content.
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And you know, I take great pride in
finding a silver lining and a lesson
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in every every aspect of my life.
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I take immense pride in that.
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And you know, the way I've been
able to work on my mindset to think
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in a positive manner, however.
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I have been struggling.
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I am very, very hurt, but I know
I have to feel every emotion,
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especially the not so pretty ones.
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I have to allow myself to feel it in
order to become who I am meant to be, and
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well, if I just have to cry every single
day like I have been, well then so be it.
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That's what I have to do.
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That's what I have to do in order to
become the Amanda, that I am meant to
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become radiant icons, and I don't want
you to feel like that's like wrong or
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like shameful or embarrassing because
honestly, for a while, while I've been
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figuring out you know, this, this new era
of my life, there have been times where
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I feel embarrassed and I feel shameful
for these feelings of falling behind and
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maybe not, you know, living up to these
certain timelines or milestones that
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society has set upon us, especially women.
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'cause you know, women,
we always, you know.
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They always want us to have babies and
get married early on, and especially
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if you're in a Hispanic household,
then you know what I'm talking about.
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Okay.
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You, you already know I'm
half Cuban, half Italian.
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You already know that my mom
wants me to have babies and get
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married, and she wanted me to have
that like, like three years ago.
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Three years ago, radiant icons.
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I mean, she's still, she's still asking.
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But anyway, the point is, right, it's,
it's those, those pressures right
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to adhere to the timelines and the
societal pressures that are put upon us,
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especially as women like and sometimes.
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They're just not meant for you.
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And I just don't think that, not as, I
don't think I know that I'm not meant
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to get married anytime soon, and I'm
not meant to have children anytime soon.
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I don't even know if I want children.
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And you know what?
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That's okay, but society's gonna
tell me no, that's not okay.
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You should be a mom.
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I don't think so.
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I don't think that's meant for me
in my path, at least right now.
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I don't think it's meant for me.
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Right?
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And that's okay.
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It's okay to not know.
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It's okay to be emotional.
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It's okay to experience these emotions
of shame and embarrassment and like,
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oh my God, like just being lost.
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Like, it's okay.
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This process of becoming is messy.
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It's not glamorous and it's okay.
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And I challenge you to remind
yourself of this when you're in
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the thick of this becoming right,
I challenge you to remember that
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you are not late radiant icon.
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You are layered and you
still are unfolding.
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All right, radiant icons I told you I
was shaking things up here today on Dare
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To Be Iconic for our Tea Times sesh and
instead of doing our beloved hotline,
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don't worry, you'll be here next week.
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This week I decided to bring back one of
the favorites 'cause you guys ate this up
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especially if you were in my Daring To Be
Confident Masterclass, then you already
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know what I'm talking about most likely.
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It is a guided meditation
because I am a firm believer that
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visualization and manifestation are
some of the most powerful tools.
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And while you're in this.
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Stage of becoming and letting
go of that pressure or that
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feeling of falling behind.
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You need to learn how to trust your voice.
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And the best way to do
that is to visualize it.
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You need to visualize
how to trust your voice.
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So get comfy.
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Close your eyes.
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If you are driving and walking,
do not close your eyes.
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Just get comfy.
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Get into the mood.
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'cause we're doing a guided
meditation in three, two.
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One.
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Take a deep breath in.
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Feel yourself soften into the
truth that you are not behind.
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Picture your journey as a timeline, but
instead of a straight line, it's a spiral.
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You keep returning to lessons,
but each time at a higher level,
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say to yourself, I am not late.
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I am becoming.
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Every pause is preparation.
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I am exactly where I am meant to be.
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Inhale, faith, exhale, comparison.
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Let your heart whisper: my
timing is my protection.
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When you're ready, come
back to this moment.
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Grounded.
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Grateful.
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Becoming.
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Okay, radiant icons.
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I'm gonna let you in on a little secret.
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As you know, we are in our radiant
reign era and for me in this era, I have
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been finding little things that make me
feel powerful, that make me feel sexy,
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that make me feel unapologetically me.
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And one of those is my
iconic signature scent.
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I have crafted mine with Oakcha,
I do sinful layered with that girl
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vanilla, and it is delectable.
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It is sinful and it is sexy if I
say so myself . Every spritz just
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feels like confidence bottled up.
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It is my reminder that I am evolving
for myself, not anyone's dusty ass son.
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And you can have that too, radiant icons.
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Make sure to build your own
fragrance through Oakcha.
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Use the discount code linked in the show
notes below to save yourself some cash,
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because icons do not follow trends.
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We set the standard.
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All right, radiant icons.
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That is your tea time session for today.
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If you enjoy today's episode, make
sure to subscribe, to leave a rating, a
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:
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review, to tell your friends about us,
to tell everyone and anyone, because
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:
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you know, we love more radiant icons
and now we're iconic community of ours.
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I will never get tired of
saying that Radiance icons.
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But anyway, let's chat about next week's
tea time sesh, because I know I am excited
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and I know my interns are excited, which
means you all my lovely, lovely, lovely
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radiant icons will also be excited.
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So, as I mentioned, um, maybe a
little bit earlier on in today's tea
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time sesh that I may have a little
roster of fans who just like, love
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and adore me, you know, when they.
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All these men are just in love with me.
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They're like, oh, you so obsessed with me.
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:
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That's the truth.
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Because as soon as I became single, I
had men flying out the woodwork telling
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me they loved me and well, that's
what we're chatting about next week.
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We are spilling the tea on dating
dilemmas and why I am so over crushing
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on potential because Kesha, she loves
to fall in love with a red flag.
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And you know what?
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I love crushing over potential and
I think that's my personal red flag.
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So next week is gonna be a fun one.
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I'll talk to you guys next next week then.
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I can't wait.
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I truly can't wait.
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Y'all, it's gonna be so good.
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You guys are gonna be fed and well
welcome to my life Alright radiant icons.
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I'll chat with y'all next week.
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Remember, dare to be iconic.
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:
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Bye.
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:
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Welcome to the Fashionably Single podcast,
where single life meets real talk, hosted
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by Hannah This guy is sitting next to
me, and this is like a no-shoe kind of
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:
00:25:27
house, so we have to take our shoes off.
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:
00:25:29
We were playing cards, drinking,
and then all of a sudden he
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00:25:32
starts rubbing his foot on my leg.
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:
00:25:35
and her co-host, Jessica.
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:
00:25:36
So he leaves me at the table, he gets
his shoes, he goes back to his car.
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:
00:25:40
I'm thinking he's
dipping out on this date.
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:
00:25:41
I just told him I don't want to marry
him, and I won't let him kill me, so Two
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00:25:46
millennials in Austin, Texas navigating
dating, independence, and becoming your
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:
00:25:50
best self with confidence and style
