Amanda Paolicelli:
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Well, what's up, radiant icons and welcome back to Dare
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To Be Iconic, the podcast made for
icons who are daring to be themselves.
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I'm your host, Amanda Paolicelli,
and for today's tea Time sesh, we are
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spilling the tea on how to protect
your peace without feeling selfish.
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Because in 2026, it is your year to
protect your peace unapologetically.
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And I know that we are
all on the same page.
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radiant icons, because I did a little
Instagram poll, I did a little Instagram
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poll late last year asking what you want
to step into as we enter the new year
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and the number one response was that you
are in your protecting your peace era.
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And you know what?
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I couldn't agree with it more because
as you know, brilliant icons, I
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love choosing an intention or a
word of the year that will guide me.
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And my word of the year
for:
2026
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And there is such freedom in
choosing to protect your peace.
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So I have cultivated your ultimate
guide on how to protect your peace
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in 2026 without feeling selfish.
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And that is the key phrase here without
feeling selfish because a lot of times
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when we haven't built up that muscle,
right, of choosing to protect our peace
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and choosing ourselves, basically, it
can feel a little selfish because we
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are not used to putting ourselves first.
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Well, that is going to change in
:
2026
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right now with your ultimate guide on
protecting your peace 'Cause you know
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we're gonna do it together because
I don't do anything by, well, I do.
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I do do things by myself.
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That's why we did solo dates, but you
know what I'm saying, radiance icons.
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Before we dive into all of that,
make sure to connect with me on
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socials on Instagram and TikTok.
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It's @amandapaolicelli_
and @daretobeiconic_.
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And if you're on LinkedIn Radiance
icons, make sure to check me out
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on there and connect with me.
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It's Amanda Pelli.
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All of my socials are linked in the show
notes below, along with our exclusive
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Sexy 27 sale that you cannot find
anywhere else except that link in the
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show notes, that Sexy 27 sale includes
one piece of your choosing from the
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Radiant Reign Merch collection, and one
copy of our healing journal Break Up With
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The Past, Fall In Love With The Future.
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So make sure to connect with me on
socials and secure your exclusive deal
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today by checking out the show notes.
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Are you ready?
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radiant icons Because your
tea time sesh is starting now.
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Now I know a new year calls for new
standards, radiant icons, but if there
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is one thing that I can promise to
consistently deliver, no matter what
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year we are in or what era we are
in, is that I will always be spilling
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the piping hot tea and sharing my hot
takes right here on this very podcast.
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And well, my hot take when it
comes to protecting your peace
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is that peace is not negotiable.
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And anyone who tells you that it is,
well, that is clearly on them because
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they are not choosing themselves.
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A lot of people think that
choosing yourself is a selfish act.
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In fact, it's the exact
opposite, radiant ty cones.
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Choosing yourself is one of
the most powerful acts that
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you can do for yourself.
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It is so powerful to make that
commitment and to honor it consistently.
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There is so much power in knowing
what you do and do not tolerate.
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There is so much power in claiming
your boundaries publicly, and
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there is so much power in making
the decision to choose your peace.
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No matter what it looks like,
there is so much power in it.
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And for today's tea time sesh,
I am so excited to dive into the
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very iconic and the ultimate guide
to protecting your peace in:
2026
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So let's get to it, radiant icons.
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Step one is to stop tolerating what no
longer serves you in:
2026
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We are running a strict program
when it comes to protecting
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our peace, and that starts with
this step in particular, right?
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Every time we tolerate a behavior, a
habit, a situation that we know no longer
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serves us, it is a form of disrespect.
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It is a form of disrespect to that honor,
to that commitment of choosing ourselves.
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And you know what?
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I am guilty of this.
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I am guilty of this so much, especially
in the relationship category of my
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life, whether it's platonic or romantic.
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I am so guilty of tolerating
behaviors that I know don't feed soul
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or don't protect my peace, right?
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I have this tendency to give
people the benefit of the doubt.
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I have this tendency to be lenient.
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I have this tendency to
be considerate of others.
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And while I was thinking on this here
and this step in particular, I kept
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asking myself, why am I so considerate of
others and their behaviors and situations
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and things like that when I'm not even
being considered on the other end?
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Why am I doing that?
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Why am I actively choosing to
disrespect myself when I know I am
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not being considered on the other end?
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Why am I doing that to myself?
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So in this New Year, radiant
icons, I have decided to honor
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the commitment of choosing myself
and finally stop tolerating the
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things that no longer serve me.
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And that is what I challenge
you with because we cannot be
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actively disrespecting ourselves.
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We need to stop giving away our
energy to situations, to people,
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to habits that no longer serve us
on the path that we are going on.
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So when it comes to this step,
radiant icons, I challenge you to
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write down three things that you'll
no longer accept in this new year.
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That could be habits, that could be
situations, that could be behaviors.
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I'm gonna give you my three things just
to get your mind going on, what you
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can write, because honestly, this one,
out of all three steps, this one was
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the hardest for me because I, I would
like to think I am not disrespecting
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myself, but the matter of the fact is
by me accepting these behaviors, I am
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disrespecting myself and abandoning
that commitment of choosing myself.
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And in 2026, I want to get centered again.
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I want to get realigned with my
purpose right in, in that commitment.
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So, the first thing that I am no
longer accepting this year is that
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I will no longer be the friend
who always reaches out first.
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And here's why.
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I am so done being the glue.
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I am so tired of being the person who
checks in on everyone and orchestrates
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the plans and remembers the details,
and holds the relationships together.
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It should not be all on me.
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Relationships are a two way street.
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It should be reciprocal.
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It really should.
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And I realized while I was looking back
on last year, right, on:
2025
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a lot of instances in my life where I was
overextending myself or I was bending over
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backwards to keep relationships going when
they really should have been just cut.
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Like, yeah, like I should have
just been done with it, right?
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And I want others to give me the
same consideration that I give them.
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There is nothing bad in wanting that,
and I think I had a really hard time
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with vocalizing that is something that
I want because I thought it was selfish.
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But again, like I said, choosing yourself
and stating what you want is not selfish.
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You should be in relationships no matter
what type of relationship it is that
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gives you your needs and wants, right?
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Of course, there is compromise
in relationships, but you cannot
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be the one overexerting yourself.
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You cannot be the one overextending
yourself because it gets to a point where
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you are so burnt out that you forget
about yourself, and I cannot do that.
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I will not let you do that if you are
also someone that does that same thing.
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We cannot be doing that to ourselves,
especially in this new year where
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we are protecting our peace.
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I am making that intentional choice
this year to be cognizant of who I
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decide to be in relationships with.
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Are they actively pouring back
into me or am I always the one.
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Orchestrating everything
right and reaching out.
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Because I've had this happen in the past.
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I've decided, you know what,
I'm gonna stop always contacting
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first and see what happens.
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And that person has never reached out
because it was on me to always be the one
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to exert myself to get the things going.
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It's because I was always thinking of
them and they weren't thinking of me.
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I'm not doing that anymore.
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Absolutely not.
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I am protecting my peace in 2026, and that
is a behavior that I am not tolerating.
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And the second thing, I am no
longer tolerating this year.
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Radiance icons is actually a habit.
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I am no longer coping with
stress and anxiety by biting
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the shit out of my cuticles.
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I know this is not a secret.
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I know everyone knows
that I struggle with this.
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When I am anxious, when I am
stressed, when I am overwhelmed,
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I destroy my cuticles.
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That is just a thing I have done
since I was little buddy, Amanda, and
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I know that is no longer serving me.
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In fact, I know that has not
served me for a long ass time.
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I know there are better ways to
cope with all of those feelings.
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It is bad for my nervous system, it is
bad for my mental health, and it is bad
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for my body to be doing that to myself.
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This habit is me taking my
anxiety out on myself, and I
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know I deserve better than that.
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I know that I have tools in my
toolkit from therapy that I can
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utilize to my advantage so I can stop
tolerating this behavior within myself.
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We are finding healthier ways to
release my stress and release my
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anxiety, and we are channeling that
anxious energy that that overwhelming
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energy that I have into something that
actually heals me instead of hurts me.
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last thing that I am no longer
tolerating this year is that I am
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no longer tolerating misalignment
between words and actions.
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Am so done with giving
benefit of the doubt.
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Alignment does matter,
consistency does matter.
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Follow through does matter.
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If you say one thing and you do another,
how can I, how can I keep on being
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considerate of that behavior when
you're not being considerate of me?
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Why are you gonna tell me one thing
and do something completely different,
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whether it's behind my back or to my face?
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You are actively disrespecting
me by doing that.
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I am done.
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I am done ignoring this in
my relationships in my life.
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When someone shows you who they are the
first time, you need to believe them.
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You need to stop giving them
the benefit of the doubt.
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And I know I have said this
on the podcast multiple times.
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I know I have, and I don't know why I
keep tolerating it, but this year in
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2026, I'm holding myself accountable and
I'm saying it right here on this podcast.
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I am not tolerating this behavior.
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I am not tolerating this.
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You say one thing to me
and then you do another.
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I don't care if you stabbed me
in the front or in the back.
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If it does not align it, if is not
consistent, if there is not follow
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through, I am not dealing with it.
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I am not giving you grace.
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I'm not giving you benefit of the doubt.
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Because when, when have others done the
same for me and I know people are like,
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oh, that's kind of a little bit selfish.
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No, it's not.
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Choosing yourself, like I said in
the beginning is never selfish.
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It is powerful.
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It is powerful to know that you
are not going to tolerate behavior
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that is not serving you on the
path that you are going down.
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In 2026, I am on this path of freedom.
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I am being free in my voice, in my
choices, in my body, and being free from
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the expectations that are set upon me.
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There is some type of expectation
that I have, you know, set upon
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myself of, oh, I need to give
people grace, and I need to be this.
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But if they keep on disrespecting
you, why are you gonna keep
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on giving that person grace?
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You can't.
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They're actively choosing
to disrespect you.
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So why am I gonna tolerate it?
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Yeah.
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We're running a strict program
here in:
2026
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choose myself and protect my peace.
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I deserve better than no follow through.
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I do.
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And you do.
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too radiant icons.
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So those are my three things that I am
no longer tolerating in the new year.
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Let's get to step two.
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Step two, audit your energy
and remove what drains you.
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Now this step ties so beautifully to
step one, and it's because some of the
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things that you realize in your life
that you are no longer tolerating.
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Also most likely are the things that
are draining your energy and you are
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going to remove it from your life.
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So step two is a little one, two for you.
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'cause you know I love a little one, two.
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But what I'm saying, reading into
icons is for me in particular, right?
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When I go back to what I
mentioned in step one, right?
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Those three things that I'm no longer
tolerating in my life, I think of
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how do they drain my energy, right?
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And why do I want to remove them?
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And I think of the first point and third
point I made of those behaviors that
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I'm not tolerating right, whether it's
me doing a behavior or it's someone
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else doing a behavior towards me.
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Those are two things,
particularly one and three, right?
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So one and three, just to quick recap.
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The first one was I'm no longer being
the friend who always reaches out first.
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And the third one is, I will
no longer accept misalignment
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between words and actions.
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Those two things in particular
I know drain my energy.
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The more I pour back into someone that's
not pouring into me, drains my energy,
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and by me allowing someone to be so
inconsistent with their words and actions
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and keeping them in my life, not only
doesn't serve me, but it drains my energy
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because it causes me so much confusion.
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It causes me so much stress.
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I mean, there is one example in particular
from last year that I can think of, right?
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And that was draining my energy.
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I was not myself.
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And so when it comes to auditing your
energy and removing what drains you
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for this particular step, I encourage
you radiant icons to start small.
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I know it's very exciting at the new year
to do everything and anything at once,
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but you're going to get overwhelmed.
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And that's going to not only create
this anxiety feeling, but it can also
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be debilitating in a sense, right?
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Because it's like, oh my gosh,
there's so much I wanna do.
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I don't know where to start.
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So start small.
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Choose one thing that you know,
and maybe it's a behavior you
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mentioned in step one, right?
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Something you're no longer tolerating.
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'cause you're like, you know what?
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This is something that I'm no longer
tolerating that I know drains my
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energy, so I'm going to remove it.
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Point blank.
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You did step one and two together.
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I love that for you, right?
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When you start small, you pick one
thing, it allows you to open your
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perspective of seeing what are the other
things in your life that drain your
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energy or that no longer serve you.
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It creates momentum, radiant
icons, and that is what you want.
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You want to gradually
build yourself up to it.
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So you can know what your boundaries.
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I mean, that's what we're
doing here basically.
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We are figuring out our boundaries and we
are publicly declaring them for ourselves.
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We are actively protecting
our peace by doing that.
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So the action step, or what I'm going
to challenge you with radiant icons is
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I want you to pick one person, habit, or
situation to remove or limit immediately.
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Now, what I'm going to do is,
there is a certain friendship in
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my life that I decided late last
year, like very late last year,
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that I am not bringing into 2026.
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That person, that friendship
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has been a rollercoaster.
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It has been disappointing, it has
been hurtful, it has been painful.
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It's been a lot of things like there
were some really good moments and
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there were some really, really hurtful
moments, and I don't want that confusion
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and inconsistency in my life anymore.
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I was also the friend who would
always reach out to that person.
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Then they would respond back when
they needed me back in their life.
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So that is the one person, the one thing
that I have decided I'm not bringing into
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this new year, and it's been very peaceful
so far because I've, I've stuck to it.
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Okay, radiant icons.
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I'm gonna let you in on a little secret.
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As you know, we are in our radiance
rain era and for me in this era, I have
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been finding little things that make me
feel powerful, that make me feel sexy,
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that make me feel unapologetically me.
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And one of those is my
iconic signature scent.
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I have crafted mine with Oakcha.
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I do sinful layered with That
Girl Vanilla and it is delectable.
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It is sinful and it is
sexy if I say so myself.
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Every spritz just feels
like confidence bottled up.
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It is my reminder that I am evolving
for myself, not anyone's dusty ass son.
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And you can have that too.
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Radiant icons.
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Make sure to build your own fragrance
through Oakcha, use the discount
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code linked in the show notes
below to save yourself some cash.
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Because icons do not follow trends.
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We set the standard.
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Amanda Paolicelli: Now,
let's get to step three.
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Step three is building
a daily peace ritual.
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You cannot be iconic if
you are drained, okay?
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You cannot be iconic if you are drained.
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And that's why building a peace
ritual is something you need to do.
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So you avoid burning yourself out and
you are actively protecting your peace.
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And that starts with habit building.
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Habits anchor your identity, right?
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And even these small rituals that you
create that become habits, reinforce
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your standards, it reinforces the way
that you see yourself, the way that you
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choose to honor yourself, and honoring
that choice to protect your peace.
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And so when it comes to
this daily peace ritual.
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I encourage you to add one daily
ritual that reinforces your peace.
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That could be a morning meditation,
that could be journaling, that
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can be a phone free evening, or
an intentional skincare routine.
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Now I know I say a lot of times
on this podcast that when it comes
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to creating a routine, I always
wanna journal and I always wanna
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do that gua sha And you know what?
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I never do it.
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I never intentionally make the time
to unwind at the end of the night.
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I usually just work, work, work, work,
work, work, work until I fall asleep.
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I don't give myself that time to
unwind and protect my peace and
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honor myself before I go to bed.
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I'm just always working.
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I need to stop doing that in 2026.
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I really, I really, really need to.
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It is not healthy to not have that time
for yourself at the end of the night.
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So my daily peace ritual is this.
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I am going to do that gua
sha three times a week.
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I'm doing it.
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I am doing it radiant icons And then
after that I'm going to pull out my
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breakup journal, breakup with the past,
fall in love with the future and I'm
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gonna do some pages in that journal.
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All right, radiant icons.
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That is your tea Time sesh for today.
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If you enjoy today's episode, make
sure to subscribe to leave a rating, a
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review, to tell your friends about us,
to tell everyone and anyone, because
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you know we love what More Radiant
icons in our iconic community of ours.
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And speaking about our iconic community
radiant icons, I challenge you to take
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this guide and share one boundary or
standard that you are claiming this week
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publicly to your social media and tag
Dare to Be Iconic and myself, whether
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it's on Instagram, TikTok, Substack.
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Commenting on the podcast, like
leaving a testimonial, whatever it is.
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I want you to share your boundary or
standard with me that you are claiming
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this week that was inspired by this
very guide of protecting your piece.
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And as you are going through this
guide, radiant Icons, just remember
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that this is about claiming your
energy, not controlling anyone else's.
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I am so excited to hear about the
boundary setting and standards that
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we are setting for ourselves in 2026.
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So let's chitchat about next
week real quick, next week, we
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are taking it a step further.
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We are exploring or diving deep into
freedom and sexy and what freedom and
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sexy really mean in 2026, I am sharing a
simple, actionable framework for designing
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a life that actually does serve you.
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You guys, I am so excited for
next week's tea time sesh.
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Like just look at us.
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We are protecting our peace.
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We are choosing to build for ourselves.
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We are rewriting our narrative.
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We are healing out loud like we
are doing all the things and we're
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daring to be iconic together.
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Like, damn, that's so iconic of us.
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I love it and I love you guys and
I'll chat with y'all next week.
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Remember radiant icons, dare to be iconic.
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Bye.
