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Police My Words?
Episode 11927th August 2024 • Why Does My Partner • Rebecca Wong, Juliane Taylor Shore, Vickey Easa
00:00:00 00:22:21

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As we reach the end of our season 7 deep dive into communication, it’s no surprise that so many of the same themes have kept showing up in our conversations, and that so often, what they’re about is owning our unmet needs. So it feels right that we should land here, with an episode that unpacks just that, and once again invites us to let go of the strategies we think we need to get what we want, and to get more in touch with the real needs we may be trying to express.

Thanks as always, dear listeners, for sticking with us for yet another season! We’ll be back soon with another miniseries, but in the meantime, we’d love for you to stay in touch! Write in, send us your questions, leave a review, and join us for a workshop!

And as always, love each other the best you can.

Quotes:

when we only have one way to meet a need, that is a recipe for fear

My needs are okay, even though they will not always be met.

“The pain sucks, but the fact that the pain is here is okay. It can be welcomed.”

Jules’ book is out now! Get Setting Boundaries that Stick: How Neurobiology Can Help You Rewire Your Brain to Feel Safe, Connected, and Empowered wherever books are sold.

Share your questions with us at whydoesmypartner.com/contact

Dive in deeper with us at our upcoming workshops.

Learn more at whydoesmypartner.com/events

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119. Police My Words?
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118. Insist That We Should Both Agree on Their Version of What Happened?
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117. Make Plans Without Asking Me First?
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116. Avoid Conflict?
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115. Criticize My Parenting?
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114. Feel Offended When I Don't Listen to Their Advice?
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113. Ask Questions About Me?
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112. Try to Give Me a Script to Follow When We're in a Fight?
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111. Beat themselves up when I tell them I have an issue with their behavior?
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106. Why Doesn't My Partner Take Care of Me When I'm Upset?
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105. Why Does My Partner Want Me to Tell Him How to Change?
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104. Why Does My Partner Interrupt Me?
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103. My partner broke trust. So why do they say that they don't trust me?
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102. Give Me Anxiety
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101. Threaten to Leave When We Argue?
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100. Stay Upset When I Try to Repair?
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99. Neurodiverse Relationships
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98. Why does my husband not see things in our house that are askew?
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97. Isn't it fair to ask our partner not to scoff at us?
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96. [BONUS] Is there something wrong with me for not wanting physical contact?
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95. [BONUS] Push Me Until I Lose It?
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94. [BONUS] Why do I feel so bad when my partner gets disappointed or mad at me?
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93. [BONUS] Respect My Boundaries
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91. Never Want to Celebrate Holidays or Major Milestones
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90. Feel Okay With Getting Close When She's Leaving in Six Months
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89. Have Trouble With My Feelings
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88. Accuse Me of Invalidating His Feelings
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87. Let Go of Focusing on the Relationship When Things in Their Life Get Stressful
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86. Why Does Everything My Partner Does Irritate Me?
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85. Want to Hurt Me
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84. Expect Fairness
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83. Want to Get Back Together After Breaking Up With Me
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82. Use Sex as a Weapon
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81. bonus Why Am I the Only One Who Raises the Red Flag and Has to Say This Marriage Is Not Going Well?
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80. bonus Want Me to Just Get Over the Hurt
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79. bonus Bring Up Safe Topics to Solve a Problem When There Are Hidden Issues Not Being Discussed
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78. bonus Feel Most Comfortable Connecting on a Surface Level
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77. Become More Needy the Healthier I Get and the More I Try to Establish Healthy Boundaries
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76. Need Sex to Feel Connected While I Need to Feel Connected to Have Sex
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75. Tell Me What Upsets Them
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74. Have a Secret World and Not Let Me In
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73. Always Have to Get Their Way
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72. Why Do I Take Care of My Partner When They Apologize To Me?
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71. Complain When I Play Golf
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70. Interracial Relationships
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69. Get Defensive and Justify a Friendship
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68. Have No Interest In Being More Relational
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66. bonus Look Outside for Things to Make Them Feel Good About Themself
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64. Mood Influence My Mood So Much
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63. Say I'm Therapizing Them
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62. Set Me Up To React
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61. Interpret Disagreement As Criticism
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60. Want to Open Our Relationship
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59. Do Things They Know Will Hurt Me
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58. Act Like Their Mother/Father
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57. Treat Me Like Their Father/Mother
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56. See How Much I Do for Them
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55. Make Me Feel Worthless
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54. Say They Are Focusing On Their ‘Stuff’ But…
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53. Why Do I Have So Many Expectations of My Partner?
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52. Still Fight With Their Ex
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51. Pick Their Parents Over Me
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50. Not Validate What I'm Feeling When I'm Upset
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49. Hate Every Way I'm Different From Them
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48. Not Want to Work on Our Relationship
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47. Why Can’t I Decide To Stay Or Go?
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37. Not Try to Understand When I'm Upset
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36. Not Tell Me When They're Upset
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35. Love Seem Conditional
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33. Think I’m Useless, No Good, Unhealthy When We Fight
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30. Cut Me Off
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29. Refuse To Apologize
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28. Not See They Are Being Hypocritical
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27. Need To Fix Me
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26. Not Comfort Me
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25. Not Accept What They Did Was Wrong
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24. Expect Sex In The Morning
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23. Not Understand The Trauma
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22. Accuse Me Of Cheating
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21. Marry Me
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