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These gents have the antidote to 20 minutes
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of boredom.
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Look, no one needs a marathon, right?
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Welcome to the Ned and Josh podcast for
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Thursday.
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Our podcast download numbers didn't really realise what
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we're going to do by eliminating an episode
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every single week.
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We've lost a third of our downloads.
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Well, no, because the same amount of people
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listening, but yes, because they're downloading a lesser
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episode this week.
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So it took me, I'm so stupid.
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It took me a little while in the
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stats to go, Oh my God, what's that?
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Oh no, we've taken one episode away.
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We can't really do this episode.
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Maybe we make a commitment for next episode
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that, yeah, because like obviously we've spoken about
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this at length, that this is going to
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be the plan.
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But if you have someone in your life
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that you're like, I'd love to show this
Speaker:
podcast to you, but it's just, you guys
Speaker:
are so fucking weird and stupid on it.
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Next episode.
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So Tuesday's episode best, we'll be on our
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best behaviour and we'll think about some stuff.
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We'll do a lot of research.
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We'll do like a salesperson episode of the
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show where we put our best foot forward.
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That's what I'm saying.
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Cause like I have a feeling that people
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would like maybe suggest us to their friends,
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but they're like, Oh, I'm just so embarrassed.
Speaker:
What's this going to say about me?
Speaker:
And I kind of already know what's coming
Speaker:
up on today's episode and today's not it.
Speaker:
Today's not the day to turn around.
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But I'm saying the next episode- It
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does sound like a lot of work though.
Speaker:
What to not be morons for an episode.
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Yeah.
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It's denying who we are.
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No, I'm not saying for one episode.
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I'm saying just for one episode.
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Yeah, 20 minutes of that sounds like a
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lot of work.
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That's what I'm saying.
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Now I think about it.
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I don't know if I can convince myself
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that I'm not that stupid.
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There's a song, Ned, that I despise with
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everything in my being like down to my
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bone marrow.
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I hate this song, but I heard it
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the other day and I was like, Oh
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my God, I've been getting the actual context
Speaker:
of this song completely wrong.
Speaker:
Doesn't certainly doesn't make me like it anymore,
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but I just understand part of it that
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I've never really understood before.
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Okay.
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What is it?
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Now it is the Mighty Mighty Boss Tones,
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The Impression that I get.
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Love that song.
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Yeah.
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Big fan.
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I did think you were going to say
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you did.
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Love a bit of Polka.
Speaker:
You mean Scar?
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Like S-K-A?
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What's Polka?
Speaker:
Anyway, have a listen to this.
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If you've forgotten what the song is.
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Yeah, I do love Scar.
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It sounds like this.
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I never had to knock on wood, but
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I know someone who has, which makes me
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wonder if I could.
Speaker:
Okay.
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It's The Impression that he gets.
Speaker:
So give me your breakdown of that, that
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I just played to you.
Speaker:
What does that lyrically mean?
Speaker:
Oh, sorry.
Speaker:
I wasn't even listening.
Speaker:
Sorry.
Speaker:
Play it for me.
Speaker:
Oh, you want to hear it again?
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I never had to knock on wood, but
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I know someone who has, which makes me
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wonder if I could.
Speaker:
I never had to knock on wood, but
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I know someone who has, and it makes
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me think that maybe I should or could.
Speaker:
Okay.
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So yes, you got the lyrics right, but
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what does that mean to you?
Speaker:
What do you take that to mean?
Speaker:
In my mind, I guess it's like I've
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never had bad luck, but I see people
Speaker:
who do have bad luck and so maybe
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I should start knocking on wood.
Speaker:
Yeah, so you get it.
Speaker:
Like I'm not superstitious.
Speaker:
Maybe I should start knocking on wood.
Speaker:
Yeah, you get it.
Speaker:
Is that what it is?
Speaker:
Yeah, that's what it is.
Speaker:
What did you think it was?
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I thought it was about people who do
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woodwork.
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You're a fucking idiot.
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Yep.
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No, I'm 100% serious.
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I'm coming to the table to 100%
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admit that.
Speaker:
I thought for the longest time, it's like,
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I've never had, like he was putting down
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blue collar workers or something.
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There's no way.
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No, I 100% thought that.
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There's sometimes you do.
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I 100% thought that.
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And then I was listening to it the
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other day in the car and it's like,
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have you ever been close to tragedy or
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close to folks who have?
Speaker:
And that's like how it starts.
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And then the chorus goes into, well, I've
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never had to, comma, knock on wood.
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As in like, hopefully that doesn't happen to
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me.
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Like I always assumed it was just never,
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I've never had to knock on wood.
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I've never done a hard day's work.
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I don't know.
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I've never had to find a stud in
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the wall.
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How is it that you sometimes like, and
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I will fully admit this, you completely snooker
Speaker:
me intelligence wise.
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Intelligence wise?
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Yeah, that's what I said.
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Like that?
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Yeah.
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Like what I just did.
Speaker:
Also, by the way, that's not being fucking
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smart.
Speaker:
That's just knowing how to say intelligence.
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But sometimes I am completely outplayed and outsmarted
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and I outfoxed.
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100%.
Speaker:
And then also sometimes you have the intelligence
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of a gnat.
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Yeah.
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This is the dumbest thing I know whilst
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consistently making me sound like a moron.
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And that's why I'm so much fun.
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It's like, you never know what you're going
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to get.
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You never know what you're going to get.
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I don't.
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I really do not.
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And maybe, maybe if we're on a deserted
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Island one day, I'll be elected leader and
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we'll go, yeah, he's smart.
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And then you'll go, no, actually, I'll have
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a psychotic break.
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What have we done?
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Because I'll be gaslighted to think that you
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are smart.
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No guys, you have to listen to me.
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Listen to this mighty, mighty Bostone story that
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I've got.
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He strikes gold once in a million years.
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You cannot take his word for it.
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I think it's a pretty great idea that
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I've had.
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Yeah.
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I mean, I'm going to need to hear
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it at all.
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It's a business idea and it's working out.
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Yep.
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Okay.
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Uh, what would I call it?
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I'll tell you the idea and then we
Speaker:
can figure out a name afterwards.
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Okay.
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Yep.
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I'm good at that.
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Like all good plans.
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What I essentially want to do is people
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come to me who hate going to the
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gym, but want to work out.
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Yep.
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AKA me.
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Yes.
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I speak for my people.
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So you want to work out.
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I like working out.
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I don't like going to the gym.
Speaker:
You want to have the rocking set up.
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Yep.
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Yep.
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Cool.
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I want to be jacked.
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I want to be muscly.
Speaker:
But you don't really like the gym vibe.
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You haven't been watching Lanterns, which is very
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disappointing to me and the show about Green
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Lantern.
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And I'll be the first to admit, I
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could not care less about Green Lantern.
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It's the best show I've seen all year
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by a country mile.
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Interesting.
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Yeah.
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Okay.
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That said, Aaron Pierre, holy shit.
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Is he in good nick?
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Maybe the best nick.
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Oh, let me give a Google.
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His shoulders are as big as my head.
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Yeah.
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And he quite often, especially in the last
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episode, he keeps putting into this, spoiler alert,
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maybe I shouldn't say this, he keeps sleeping
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with someone and they keep putting him in
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tank tops.
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And I'm getting a hell of a lot
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out of that.
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Yeah, right.
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I'm like, wow.
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He looks like an NFL player.
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He probably should be.
Speaker:
He's British though.
Speaker:
It's very confusing.
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Yeah.
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He has a sensational shoulder set up there.
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It's insane.
Speaker:
Shoulder and arms.
Speaker:
He is Jon Stewart.
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Working overtime.
Speaker:
He's a very, very cool dude, but I
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don't like going to the gym because I
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don't like doing, I just, the way my
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brain works, I don't like lifting stuff.
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Yeah.
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You don't like it.
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I don't like it.
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You actually don't like it.
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I don't like doing it.
Speaker:
You want the results, but you don't like
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it.
Speaker:
But I do like doing stuff.
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Like, if I had to just go out
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and do a bunch of stuff and I
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ended up doing the same as a workout.
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What are we saying?
Speaker:
So you essentially, if someone could give you
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an adult PE class, you would be stoked,
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but if you were having to actually go
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to the gym on your own, you're not
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stoked.
Speaker:
So I collect people like this who just
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can't seem to manage to get their heads
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around it.
Speaker:
Then the second part of this plan, I
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post on like an air tasker or what
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are they called?
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Task rabbit.
Speaker:
The ones where you just essentially go and
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do chores for people.
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I get a job.
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I send my militia of very odd people
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who don't like going to the gym to
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the house.
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They do the chore.
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They get a workout.
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I get paid.
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I get two streams of income.
Speaker:
Oh, interesting.
Speaker:
Because the person who needs a job done,
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like just say, I need someone to come
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and help me move all the stuff out
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of my garage.
Speaker:
I'll send four people down to you.
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They go down.
Speaker:
I get paid by the person who needs
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stuff out of their garage.
Speaker:
And the people also pay me because I've
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sorted out their workout.
Speaker:
I maybe probably even go down and supervise.
Speaker:
Makes sense to me.
Speaker:
So you're a pimp for workers.
Speaker:
It's what I'm sort of getting from this.
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I'm pimping manual labour.
Speaker:
You have a stable of people who move
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boxes.
Speaker:
Yeah.
Speaker:
Okay.
Speaker:
All right then.
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Yeah.
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I forgot to mention that my name in
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all of this is Daddy Cool.
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Daddy Ned.
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Sweet Daddy Broom.
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You are an idiot.
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I will start wearing a lot of purple.
Speaker:
Yeah, and I'm looking forward to it.
Speaker:
And cheetah prints.
Speaker:
I'm not going to lie.
Speaker:
Got a question.
Speaker:
And I think this is pretty much a
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yes or no.
Speaker:
So we probably have to go into a
Speaker:
bit of depth here to make it interesting.
Speaker:
But I do think it's something that people
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either don't know about or don't do as
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often as they could be doing.
Speaker:
And that is getting a very, very thin
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bit of plastic or maybe even a toothpick
Speaker:
and just going to tap on your phone's
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charging port.
Speaker:
Oh yeah, it's great.
Speaker:
Getting all the fluff out of there.
Speaker:
Do we consider that to be gross or
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very satisfying?
Speaker:
Or is it both?
Speaker:
Well, yeah, because there's definitely multiple things that
Speaker:
fall into both columns.
Speaker:
Like Dr. Pimple Popper.
Speaker:
I quite frankly find her abhorred.
Speaker:
But I know a lot of people, despite
Speaker:
how gross it is, find it very satisfying
Speaker:
to watch a pimple get popped.
Speaker:
Yeah, that's fucked.
Speaker:
Anybody who actually enjoys that, don't listen to
Speaker:
this podcast anymore.
Speaker:
Well, you're allowed to, but just never, ever,
Speaker:
ever.
Speaker:
Don't speak to me about it.
Speaker:
And also, by the way, if you do
Speaker:
it even as a joke and I live
Speaker:
by the sword, I'll die by the sword.
Speaker:
On my personal Facebook page, if someone posts
Speaker:
or reshares or on my Instagram, if anyone
Speaker:
posts- Yes, I agree.
Speaker:
We have the same rule for this.
Speaker:
Immediate unfollow.
Speaker:
As a matter of fact, probably you're getting
Speaker:
a ban.
Speaker:
And I will extend that to the pod
Speaker:
powers.
Speaker:
If you think, oh, this will be funny,
Speaker:
we'll fucking stir up the boys.
Speaker:
I'll post some pimple popping shit.
Speaker:
You will be banned from the pod powers.
Speaker:
I don't think we can actually threaten that.
Speaker:
I'm running a martial law in the pod
Speaker:
powers right now.
Speaker:
No, well, it's not up to us.
Speaker:
Michael's the lord pod power now.
Speaker:
He's actually in charge.
Speaker:
Can people post pimple?
Speaker:
How do you feel?
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I'll allow it to annoy Ned.
Speaker:
Allow it to annoy Ned.
Speaker:
Lucky I never check it, because- God
Speaker:
damn it.
Speaker:
My life just got worse.
Speaker:
Anyway- Now I have a reason not
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to.
Speaker:
I think- But yes, I think it
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is.
Speaker:
I don't think it's that gross, because it's
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your pocket fluff.
Speaker:
Is that gross?
Speaker:
So it's not the same as picking lint
Speaker:
out of your belly button?
Speaker:
No.
Speaker:
Or toe jam.
Speaker:
Hell no.
Speaker:
Yeah, okay.
Speaker:
But it's all technically kind of similar stuff.
Speaker:
It's getting gunk out of something.
Speaker:
It is literally bits of skin cells and
Speaker:
bits of clothing and bits of- But
Speaker:
I think it's more fluff.
Speaker:
I think it's HR fluff and stuff, to
Speaker:
be honest.
Speaker:
Do you know what shocked me?
Speaker:
What?
Speaker:
Because I actually was like, I want to
Speaker:
open a business where I do this, because
Speaker:
I get so much satisfaction.
Speaker:
It's great.
Speaker:
It's almost like it's erotic without it being
Speaker:
erotic.
Speaker:
There's nothing sexual about it.
Speaker:
There's nothing sexual about it.
Speaker:
But it's very erotic.
Speaker:
But I almost am as excited.
Speaker:
Yeah, right.
Speaker:
I get so excited to do this.
Speaker:
Exactly the same.
Speaker:
So I'm offering everybody in the house de
Speaker:
-fluffing is what I call it.
Speaker:
I'm like, does anyone want to de-fluffing?
Speaker:
And Carrie finally gave in and was like,
Speaker:
yes, okay, do my phone.
Speaker:
And every single time I do it to
Speaker:
her phone, I forget she doesn't have any
Speaker:
fluff because her phone's always in her handbag.
Speaker:
Yeah.
Speaker:
It's a really- It's a compacted fluff.
Speaker:
It's a pocket phone.
Speaker:
Not even a dude thing, but you have
Speaker:
to keep your phone in your pocket.
Speaker:
If you're a poor ant wearer.
Speaker:
Yeah, you have to do it for de
Speaker:
-fluffing to work.
Speaker:
Yep.
Speaker:
No, I completely agree.
Speaker:
I get it out a lot.
Speaker:
And sometimes like back in the day, people
Speaker:
weren't really aware of this.
Speaker:
Back in the day, I mean like five
Speaker:
years ago.
Speaker:
But you would just think that your charger
Speaker:
was cooked.
Speaker:
Yeah.
Speaker:
And I remember the first time I did
Speaker:
it, so much fluff came out.
Speaker:
And it was like what you just said.
Speaker:
It's like- And that first time you
Speaker:
put your charger back in, it's like it
Speaker:
could take my full body weight.
Speaker:
Exactly.
Speaker:
I can do pull-ups off my phone.
Speaker:
It's like, oh my God, this charger has
Speaker:
never been more in this phone.
Speaker:
This connection is so tight.
Speaker:
Maybe it is sexual.
Speaker:
I don't know.
Speaker:
It sounded a lot sexual.
Speaker:
There is a man in Texas, East Texas.
Speaker:
Yep.
Speaker:
By the name of Weldon Bowen.
Speaker:
I have to say, it is so hard
Speaker:
for me not to do the same joke
Speaker:
every single time you do that.
Speaker:
Why?
Speaker:
Because you start a lot of stories on
Speaker:
a podcast like that.
Speaker:
Well, like this.
Speaker:
Start it again.
Speaker:
There's a man from Texas.
Speaker:
There's heaps of them.
Speaker:
Yeah.
Speaker:
I always want to do that joke, and
Speaker:
I have to stop myself.
Speaker:
Well, you could have done it this time.
Speaker:
Because A, it's not funny.
Speaker:
And B, it proves to people listening how
Speaker:
often you start stories like that.
Speaker:
Okay.
Speaker:
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker:
But you could have done it for this
Speaker:
one.
Speaker:
It actually would have worked very well.
Speaker:
Because Weldon Bowen is turning 100 years old.
Speaker:
Good on him.
Speaker:
And he's decided- His name's Weldon.
Speaker:
Weldon.
Speaker:
That is a 100-year-old name if
Speaker:
I've ever heard one.
Speaker:
You don't meet a lot of Weldons anymore.
Speaker:
Good on him.
Speaker:
You might meet some Bowens, but never a
Speaker:
Weldon.
Speaker:
Julie Bowen.
Speaker:
Exactly right.
Speaker:
Mm-hmm.
Speaker:
I would hope to meet Julie Bowen.
Speaker:
Fucks.
Speaker:
Anyway, he's a proud- They've unfortunately used
Speaker:
AI to make his 100th birthday flyer or
Speaker:
whatever.
Speaker:
Oh, that's gross.
Speaker:
Yeah.
Speaker:
He's in a retirement home.
Speaker:
I'm surprised it's 100, but they said, I'm
Speaker:
a proud United States Marine veteran- Good
Speaker:
on him.
Speaker:
...
Speaker:
who served during World War II.
Speaker:
That's impressive.
Speaker:
Very, very, very impressive.
Speaker:
And Weldon was like, Oh, well, I don't
Speaker:
know.
Speaker:
Maybe it was the staff who decided this.
Speaker:
I was going to say, Weldon's not-
Speaker:
I don't think Weldon's- Weldon's not making
Speaker:
an AI poster for himself.
Speaker:
No.
Speaker:
Not meaning to be ageist here, but there
Speaker:
is absolutely no way.
Speaker:
Yeah, no.
Speaker:
Weldon was around before computers.
Speaker:
Yeah, that's- I was going to say
Speaker:
cars, but- He was around before computers.
Speaker:
Yeah, he was around before computers.
Speaker:
He doesn't need to know what AI is.
Speaker:
Leave him out of it.
Speaker:
But they were asking for 100 birthday cards
Speaker:
for 100 years.
Speaker:
So he can go through and be like,
Speaker:
Oh, that's lovely.
Speaker:
Yeah, that is lovely.
Speaker:
Great.
Speaker:
Oh, hell yeah.
Speaker:
This is sick.
Speaker:
Or whatever Bart Weldon sounds like.
Speaker:
Presumably, strangers probably would have had to send
Speaker:
- Yeah, of course.
Speaker:
Would have got to a point where strangers
Speaker:
were sending them.
Speaker:
That's why they were sending out flyers.
Speaker:
And they were like, Hey, if you can
Speaker:
do it, please do it.
Speaker:
Give him some reading.
Speaker:
Give him some love.
Speaker:
That's lovely.
Speaker:
And say, holy shit, you're 100.
Speaker:
Far out, mate.
Speaker:
It's amazing.
Speaker:
Look good on you, I guess.
Speaker:
He's gotten 4,000 birthday cards.
Speaker:
Yeah, love that.
Speaker:
Yeah, great.
Speaker:
I don't.
Speaker:
And quite frankly, I'm having a look at
Speaker:
Bowen.
Speaker:
Or Weldon, sorry.
Speaker:
I don't know.
Speaker:
I don't know enough to know him.
Speaker:
I'm calling him by his last name, Weldon.
Speaker:
I don't think Weldon would have loved it
Speaker:
either.
Speaker:
You think he thinks it's a lot of
Speaker:
admin now?
Speaker:
I think it's too much fucking work.
Speaker:
Yeah.
Speaker:
He will die before he reads all these
Speaker:
cards.
Speaker:
Well, statistically.
Speaker:
This is Weldon.
Speaker:
Weldon looks 100.
Speaker:
God, Weldon looks 200.
Speaker:
He's an old man.
Speaker:
He's an old man.
Speaker:
Well, he literally is.
Speaker:
He's 100.
Speaker:
And I, look, again, Weldon, really appreciate your
Speaker:
service.
Speaker:
At the same time, you look old as
Speaker:
shit.
Speaker:
I reckon we should absolutely have gotten 100
Speaker:
celebrities.
Speaker:
Yeah, that's what I think as well.
Speaker:
I think in America- 4,000 nobodies,
Speaker:
who cares?
Speaker:
So the queen used to send out letters,
Speaker:
didn't she, when people turned 100?
Speaker:
Yep, sure did.
Speaker:
You'd get a letter from the queen if
Speaker:
you were in a commonwealth.
Speaker:
She doesn't do it for everyone.
Speaker:
You have to be- She's not fucking
Speaker:
Santa Claus.
Speaker:
Yeah, but this is what I'm saying.
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Who in America does that?
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Does the president send a- Not the
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current one.
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He's lazy as shit.
Speaker:
Honestly, it would have been Betty White.
Speaker:
Betty White would have been impossible to cover
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anymore.
Speaker:
Maybe we make it, because Obama was such
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a young president, maybe we make it his
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job.
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For the next 50 years until he's gone,
Speaker:
he has to send everybody who turns 100
Speaker:
a letter saying, It was the president.
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Congratulations.
Speaker:
Yeah, but, again, and I don't want to
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guess more than I already have about Weldon's
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life.
Speaker:
Maybe it should be someone else.
Speaker:
I'm not saying- So you reckon he
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voted Trump?
Speaker:
Well, it's- Let's not be sure.
Speaker:
Let's not be 100% sure.
Speaker:
Let's say, I don't know if he did.
Speaker:
I wouldn't be surprised at all if he
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did though.
Speaker:
It wouldn't shock me.
Speaker:
It has to be someone who's universal.
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It needs to be like Keanu Reeves or
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Tom Hanks or someone.
Speaker:
He doesn't know who those people are.
Speaker:
They were born two minutes ago as far
Speaker:
as he's concerned.
Speaker:
No, but praise Saving Private Ryan.
Speaker:
He probably watched that and was like, No,
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no.
Speaker:
It needs to be- We need to
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pretend John Wayne's still alive and can send
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a message.
Speaker:
Weldon, guess who's back from the dead?
Speaker:
It's Johnny Cash.
Speaker:
He sent you a message, buddy.
Speaker:
A lot of things you learn in school
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and people are like, Oh, I've never used
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that once in my life.
Speaker:
And you're sort of like, yeah, okay.
Speaker:
I've never used the Pythagoras theorem.
Speaker:
No, no, no.
Speaker:
And I can be pretty sure that everyone
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I was in math class with, none of
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them have used it either.
Speaker:
But at the end of the day, as
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I say to my step-sons, it's about
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giving you a buffet of knowledge.
Speaker:
So you can sort of go, oh, that
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interests me.
Speaker:
Oh, that doesn't.
Speaker:
Because some kids are going to be right
Speaker:
into math.
Speaker:
So some kids are going to be right
Speaker:
into science.
Speaker:
You get exposed to everything to see what
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ticks your boxes.
Speaker:
Do you follow anyone that you went to
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school with on Instagram or Facebook?
Speaker:
Yeah, lots of them.
Speaker:
What's the most impressive thing that you've seen
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come from your school?
Speaker:
It's not actually someone I went to school
Speaker:
with.
Speaker:
It's someone who worked in the radio station.
Speaker:
That's not what I was talking about.
Speaker:
They used to hand out cans of Coke
Speaker:
and chip packets and now runs a Fortune
Speaker:
500 AI company.
Speaker:
And he's at the absolute cutting edge of
Speaker:
AI models and different mathematical architecture.
Speaker:
I see him on LinkedIn.
Speaker:
I'm like, holy shit.
Speaker:
You actually are probably already a millionaire.
Speaker:
Yeah, that sucks.
Speaker:
And like literally four years ago, you used
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to come with me to OB's and hand
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out chips.
Speaker:
This is very strange.
Speaker:
Look how far you've come.
Speaker:
Give me a job.
Speaker:
Yes, please.
Speaker:
Give me some money.
Speaker:
No, I just see sometimes from my school,
Speaker:
there's a guy who's a lawyer in Melbourne.
Speaker:
Very exciting.
Speaker:
That is very exciting.
Speaker:
Especially if you're from Tasmania.
Speaker:
He made it out.
Speaker:
And then there's a girl over the water.
Speaker:
She's a dentist.
Speaker:
Yeah, great.
Speaker:
And they're the two I can think of.
Speaker:
Everyone else is a no-hopper like me.
Speaker:
Everyone else is bumming around like the pinball
Speaker:
machine.
Speaker:
We'll just knock it around until we go
Speaker:
down.
Speaker:
But at the end of the day, you
Speaker:
go, look, yes, not everything in school is
Speaker:
going to be applicable.
Speaker:
Don't worry about it.
Speaker:
You'll find what works for you.
Speaker:
As you should.
Speaker:
Or you won't.
Speaker:
It doesn't matter.
Speaker:
Either way.
Speaker:
Or you'll get left behind.
Speaker:
I saw a YouTube video yesterday that had
Speaker:
me pretty pissed off, though, because it reminded
Speaker:
me of something I learned quite extensively in
Speaker:
school.
Speaker:
Okay.
Speaker:
And that was how paper was made.
Speaker:
Yeah, okay.
Speaker:
We spent a lot of time, and I
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don't know if this was a common Australian
Speaker:
curriculum thing in primary school, but in art,
Speaker:
we spent a lot of time with like
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- Did you make paper?
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We made paper.
Speaker:
I made paper as well.
Speaker:
Yeah, so that is a thing.
Speaker:
And I loved making paper.
Speaker:
I did love making paper, and I thought
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that was going to be a much bigger
Speaker:
part of my life than it has been.
Speaker:
When you do something in school and you're
Speaker:
a kid, you just assume, oh, this is
Speaker:
building box stuff.
Speaker:
Like, I'm going to need to know this.
Speaker:
Yep.
Speaker:
And I haven't once made paper.
Speaker:
No, no, no, no.
Speaker:
Why would you?
Speaker:
Paper is so available.
Speaker:
Yes.
Speaker:
They make it so easy.
Speaker:
I steal paper.
Speaker:
I don't think I've ever bought paper.
Speaker:
No, I've never bought paper in my life.
Speaker:
As a matter of fact, I've stolen full
Speaker:
slabs from work before.
Speaker:
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker:
Not this current workplace, but once in a
Speaker:
while.
Speaker:
No, sure, neither.
Speaker:
Yeah, definitely not.
Speaker:
But yeah, exactly.
Speaker:
It's a real shame, and I've thought that
Speaker:
many times while I was at school, because
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I was a really bad student.
Speaker:
Yeah, me too.
Speaker:
I was really dumb, but I also didn't
Speaker:
want to try and get better either.
Speaker:
No.
Speaker:
And- I liked being dumb.
Speaker:
Instead of keeping my stupidity to myself, I'd
Speaker:
try to infect others with it.
Speaker:
Me too.
Speaker:
And I was like, as long as we
Speaker:
all fail, this is great for me.
Speaker:
Yeah.
Speaker:
But any time that something would land for
Speaker:
me and I'd get good at it, I'd
Speaker:
always in the back of my mind, I'm
Speaker:
like, I really hope that this is a
Speaker:
big part of my life.
Speaker:
It's not going to be.
Speaker:
And it never was.
Speaker:
No, no, no, no.
Speaker:
Like finding out the area of a surface,
Speaker:
I was really good at that.
Speaker:
Were you good at that, Will?
Speaker:
I was really good at that.
Speaker:
Could have been a part of your life.
Speaker:
Never did it again.
Speaker:
If you'd been like a land surveyor or
Speaker:
something like that?
Speaker:
Yeah, but I don't know anything else about
Speaker:
land surveying.
Speaker:
I guess that's it.
Speaker:
Measuring is probably the last thing that they
Speaker:
need people for.
Speaker:
This is the thing the computers do on
Speaker:
their own now.
Speaker:
I have a distinct memory of my math
Speaker:
teacher.
Speaker:
His name was Mr. Chemanski.
Speaker:
I remember being so excited to tell him
Speaker:
I got figuring out what the cubic area
Speaker:
of something was and being so excited to
Speaker:
tell him.
Speaker:
And his face was like, it could not
Speaker:
be a stronger look of like, oh, you
Speaker:
are a fucking idiot, dude.
Speaker:
How excited you are about like, we have
Speaker:
50 other things just this year that you're
Speaker:
going to have to pick up as well.
Speaker:
Like, this is the entry level.
Speaker:
And I remember being so disheartened of like,
Speaker:
I think maybe that was the turning point
Speaker:
where I was like, I'm not going to
Speaker:
try in school.
Speaker:
My cousin Nick is genuinely like a genius.
Speaker:
And he like worked for analytical firms and
Speaker:
like he's smart cookie.
Speaker:
And when I was a kid, when I
Speaker:
was a kid, he said to me, and
Speaker:
this is how smart he is, I've forgotten
Speaker:
it.
Speaker:
He was like, when you go back to
Speaker:
science, because I was telling you, I sucked
Speaker:
at science.
Speaker:
He was like, just say that osmosis is
Speaker:
the diffusion of water between a semi permeable
Speaker:
membrane.
Speaker:
Or something like that.
Speaker:
Like something like that.
Speaker:
The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.
Speaker:
You need one more sentence and then you
Speaker:
can.
Speaker:
I went back to my science teacher and
Speaker:
said that to him.
Speaker:
And he's like, huh, explain that.
Speaker:
What an arsehole.
Speaker:
As a matter of fact, spell it.
Speaker:
Well, that was the Ned and Josh podcast.
Speaker:
Don't forget to follow them on socials.
Speaker:
God knows their TikTok needs some love.
Speaker:
At Ned and Josh.
