Speaker:
Because they're too shy for OnlyFans, but still
Speaker:
want to make money on the internet.
Speaker:
It's the Ned and Josh podcast.
Speaker:
Thursday's here and so is another edition of
Speaker:
the Ned and Josh podcast.
Speaker:
Obviously, we're doing T-Days as we've been
Speaker:
talking about this week.
Speaker:
It's now T-Days or P-Days.
Speaker:
Yep, T-Days are P-Days.
Speaker:
That's a slogan I think we could put
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on a shirt.
Speaker:
Yeah.
Speaker:
I don't know.
Speaker:
I was looking into getting some shirts done
Speaker:
and like done well, but...
Speaker:
Without asking me, like just getting it happening.
Speaker:
Well, yeah, like every other bit of fucking
Speaker:
merchandise that this podcast has produced, you didn't
Speaker:
ask me.
Speaker:
Well, that's true, I guess.
Speaker:
Yeah, so maybe that'd be great.
Speaker:
I mean, I'd like to see what you
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bring to the table.
Speaker:
But the ones I'm looking at, because I
Speaker:
will not skimp on quality.
Speaker:
No, you are.
Speaker:
This is why I do it, because you
Speaker:
won't get it done.
Speaker:
And I also won't skimp on profit either.
Speaker:
No.
Speaker:
So if I did do this, every shirt's
Speaker:
going to be like $80.
Speaker:
Yeah, and that's absurd.
Speaker:
No one's going to get in on that.
Speaker:
Depends how much you love me.
Speaker:
My mum would buy at least one.
Speaker:
We already put this to the test this
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week by taking away a whole episode a
Speaker:
week.
Speaker:
So let's just...
Speaker:
Less episodes, more merch.
Speaker:
And pay us now.
Speaker:
I've thought of three, I don't like really
Speaker:
this phrase, but hot takes.
Speaker:
Yeah.
Speaker:
That I think specifically are going to piss
Speaker:
you off.
Speaker:
Oh, cool.
Speaker:
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker:
Nice.
Speaker:
Sick.
Speaker:
It's things I believe wholeheartedly, but I think
Speaker:
it's just things that you, I just don't
Speaker:
think will enjoy.
Speaker:
Are you...
Speaker:
Okay, we'll just go for it.
Speaker:
I mean, obviously you've chosen violence today, so
Speaker:
that's fine.
Speaker:
Yes, yes.
Speaker:
It's going to piss me off.
Speaker:
And I've also chosen copyright, because I'm essentially
Speaker:
stealing Annoy Andy.
Speaker:
Oh, yeah, a little bit.
Speaker:
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker:
But it's a little different because it's not
Speaker:
things I do, it's things I believe.
Speaker:
Yeah.
Speaker:
Maybe even worse, to be honest.
Speaker:
First one, get rid of tomato sauce, except
Speaker:
from burgers and sausages.
Speaker:
I think it should be, I think we
Speaker:
should start treating tomato sauce like the magic
Speaker:
ice of barbecue meat.
Speaker:
Like, you never just have magic ice.
Speaker:
What?
Speaker:
What's your problem?
Speaker:
So, hot chips just become...
Speaker:
What?
Speaker:
You can have barbecue sauce, you can have
Speaker:
aioli.
Speaker:
Aioli is infinitely better on chips than tomato
Speaker:
sauce.
Speaker:
Tomato sauce is shit.
Speaker:
It sucks, it's awful, it's really bad.
Speaker:
Yeah?
Speaker:
What?
Speaker:
You are a pathetic...
Speaker:
I had some this week.
Speaker:
A pathetic little man.
Speaker:
Sorry.
Speaker:
Sorry, I'll let you finish.
Speaker:
It was hurtful as it might be.
Speaker:
No, no.
Speaker:
You're entitled to your opinion.
Speaker:
I don't believe you to be someone capable
Speaker:
of joy in the traditional way.
Speaker:
I am, I have a lot of joy.
Speaker:
As a matter of fact, I have aioli
Speaker:
joy, I have chipotle mayo joy, I have
Speaker:
barbecue sauce joy.
Speaker:
I think barbecue sauce has even got a
Speaker:
little something to it.
Speaker:
What's your next thing?
Speaker:
My next thing is I think that we
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should get rid of like 50% of
Speaker:
dog breeds.
Speaker:
We just don't need them.
Speaker:
But you'll be happy to know...
Speaker:
Do you know what the worst part is?
Speaker:
I probably...
Speaker:
I know you're trying to upset me here.
Speaker:
I think the second one's less upsetting than
Speaker:
the first one.
Speaker:
I would extend that out to about 75
Speaker:
% of dog breeds.
Speaker:
Wow.
Speaker:
In my mind, and you'll be happy to
Speaker:
hear this, golden retrievers and labrador...
Speaker:
No, one or the other.
Speaker:
You don't get both.
Speaker:
No.
Speaker:
They're different dogs.
Speaker:
No, they aren't.
Speaker:
They are different dogs.
Speaker:
Yes, they are.
Speaker:
And you get both.
Speaker:
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Speaker:
I don't think...
Speaker:
I think that's absolutely ludicrous.
Speaker:
Anyway, keep going.
Speaker:
Well, no, hang on.
Speaker:
I really wanted to dive in on this
Speaker:
a little bit because I feel like we
Speaker:
need to.
Speaker:
Staffies stay.
Speaker:
Staffies stay.
Speaker:
Rottweilers stay.
Speaker:
Obviously.
Speaker:
Pugs stay.
Speaker:
Yes.
Speaker:
We're talking English Bulldogs stay.
Speaker:
Yeah, they do.
Speaker:
They're hilarious.
Speaker:
English Bulldogs, but no pugs then.
Speaker:
Yep.
Speaker:
You have one or the other.
Speaker:
French Bulldogs.
Speaker:
We get English Bulldogs and French Bulldogs?
Speaker:
Yes.
Speaker:
Yes.
Speaker:
Okay.
Speaker:
What about obviously the like Beethoven dogs?
Speaker:
Like...
Speaker:
St. Bernard's.
Speaker:
St. Bernard's.
Speaker:
Of course.
Speaker:
They stay.
Speaker:
I'll be honest.
Speaker:
A lot of the dog breeds that are
Speaker:
staying are big dog breeds.
Speaker:
Big dog.
Speaker:
Well, no, that makes all the sense in
Speaker:
the world.
Speaker:
That makes all the sense in the world.
Speaker:
Staffies about as small as it gets.
Speaker:
Are you ever into Jack Russells?
Speaker:
No Jack Russells.
Speaker:
No Jack Russells.
Speaker:
And only because I don't want to ever
Speaker:
think about My Dog Skip again.
Speaker:
That movie made me cry so much when
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I was a kid.
Speaker:
Jack Russells are mean as well though.
Speaker:
Are they?
Speaker:
Yes.
Speaker:
In my experience, very bitey dogs.
Speaker:
I don't want to generalise.
Speaker:
I've never experienced that, but yeah.
Speaker:
All right.
Speaker:
The last one is that I don't think,
Speaker:
I think everyone should be allowed to own
Speaker:
a maximum of two hats.
Speaker:
Well, that really stuffs me up.
Speaker:
Yeah.
Speaker:
Because I have like a lot of hats.
Speaker:
That's what I mean.
Speaker:
Yeah.
Speaker:
I understand.
Speaker:
I understand.
Speaker:
I'll be honest.
Speaker:
I only really had two and I came
Speaker:
up with that last one on the fly
Speaker:
as I'm sure a lot of people would
Speaker:
be able to hear.
Speaker:
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker:
But I actually think that I, in terms
Speaker:
of my opinions, Tomato Sauce, absolutely number one.
Speaker:
What about, can I, the Tomato Sauce one,
Speaker:
the Tomato Sauce one is literally...
Speaker:
I sort of have back-ended this entire
Speaker:
segment around that one opinion.
Speaker:
It's offensive to me on a level that
Speaker:
I...
Speaker:
You don't think you could just figure it
Speaker:
out with Barbecue Sauce?
Speaker:
You are so...
Speaker:
I don't know why you're asking me to.
Speaker:
I don't know why you would put me
Speaker:
in that world where I have to.
Speaker:
I just don't think Tomato Sauce actually brings
Speaker:
anything to the world.
Speaker:
I've heard this before.
Speaker:
From who?
Speaker:
This isn't the first time I've heard this.
Speaker:
A guy named Gavin tried to tell me
Speaker:
this once.
Speaker:
Gavin?
Speaker:
He was like, it ruins the flavour of
Speaker:
what you're eating.
Speaker:
Wait, is this Gavin we worked with?
Speaker:
No, it wasn't Gavin we worked with.
Speaker:
It was Gavin I worked with.
Speaker:
You'd never met Gavin, but Gavin was like,
Speaker:
it just tastes...
Speaker:
Has anyone met Gavin since he said this
Speaker:
to you?
Speaker:
Let's just say he's watched his words a
Speaker:
lot since then.
Speaker:
Because that is wild shit to me.
Speaker:
I don't...
Speaker:
Tomato Sauce is a gift.
Speaker:
You were like, Gavin, you know the body
Speaker:
is made up of 70% Tomato Sauce?
Speaker:
Well, mine is.
Speaker:
No, no, no, that's blood.
Speaker:
Well, let's find out.
Speaker:
Let's find out, huh, mate?
Speaker:
Get me that meat pie.
Speaker:
I have one of those stories that's annoying
Speaker:
because I don't have a current update on
Speaker:
this guy.
Speaker:
But I only just saw it on the
Speaker:
internet the other day.
Speaker:
And it's frustrating because this person might be
Speaker:
my favourite person in the history of the
Speaker:
world.
Speaker:
Okay.
Speaker:
And I don't know where he is now,
Speaker:
what he's doing.
Speaker:
He's a history man.
Speaker:
I think he's going to become one of
Speaker:
your favourite people in the world, too.
Speaker:
Because he's kind of like Airline Batman.
Speaker:
Like, he's gone out and tried to right
Speaker:
some wrongs in the airline, in the aviation
Speaker:
industry.
Speaker:
This is a good start.
Speaker:
I was going to say, don't speak for
Speaker:
me, but you've accurately picked that this might
Speaker:
be something that's up my alley.
Speaker:
2013, there's a man in China.
Speaker:
13 years ago, sure.
Speaker:
And what he did was he bought a
Speaker:
fully refundable first-class ticket.
Speaker:
So, that means that you've got the ability
Speaker:
to call up, change your flight, no fees,
Speaker:
whatever.
Speaker:
Yeah, nice.
Speaker:
You pay a tonne to be able to
Speaker:
do that, but he did it.
Speaker:
And what he did was, along with that,
Speaker:
also get access to that airline's first-class
Speaker:
lounge.
Speaker:
And he ended up going there 300 separate
Speaker:
times to eat food.
Speaker:
But what he would do is literally cancel
Speaker:
and change the flight to, like, another day
Speaker:
every time after he went in.
Speaker:
So, he'd eat the food, cancel the flight,
Speaker:
change it to another day.
Speaker:
It took 300 goes at this before the
Speaker:
airline actually realised what he was doing.
Speaker:
Got it.
Speaker:
You're playing with fire as well a little
Speaker:
bit, because you've got to keep it-
Speaker:
Obviously, you've got to have a flight that's
Speaker:
booked for that day, I would imagine.
Speaker:
Yes, you do.
Speaker:
And you have to keep such a close
Speaker:
eye on it that you're like, all right,
Speaker:
cancel it now.
Speaker:
Yeah, you've got to cancel it at the
Speaker:
exact right time.
Speaker:
Because if you accidentally end up in the
Speaker:
boarding area, you're going to be without your
Speaker:
ability.
Speaker:
Can't enjoy your meal too much.
Speaker:
Yep.
Speaker:
Because if you get caught up in the
Speaker:
carbonara they're serving- It's got to be
Speaker:
a night-time flight, you've got to go
Speaker:
in in the morning.
Speaker:
Like, that's really the way you've got to
Speaker:
do it.
Speaker:
Also, this guy obviously doesn't have a lot
Speaker:
on.
Speaker:
He's just got all day to go and
Speaker:
hang out and have free food.
Speaker:
So, 300 times before the airline caught on,
Speaker:
and then at the end of it, this
Speaker:
is the best part, he got caught.
Speaker:
And he was like, okay, and then just
Speaker:
got a full refund for his ticket, because
Speaker:
it was fully refundable.
Speaker:
Yeah, of course.
Speaker:
So, at the end of it, what he
Speaker:
did was one last score, one last meal,
Speaker:
and went, ooh, the walls are closing in
Speaker:
here.
Speaker:
And then just cancelled the ticket and got
Speaker:
his money back.
Speaker:
So, he essentially ate 300 first class lounge
Speaker:
meals for free.
Speaker:
He kind of, I watched it the other
Speaker:
day, so sorry if this is too obscure,
Speaker:
but it's front of mind for me.
Speaker:
But he really did Danny Ocean them.
Speaker:
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker:
Like, he didn't just come for the money,
Speaker:
he also came for Julia Roberts.
Speaker:
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker:
He's like, I'm not leaving unless Andy Garcia
Speaker:
is broke and single.
Speaker:
That's what I want to do to these
Speaker:
airlines.
Speaker:
With this airline, I want them to feel
Speaker:
stupid for having a first class lounge.
Speaker:
Exactly right.
Speaker:
That's what I want to point out to
Speaker:
them.
Speaker:
I like it when someone wins like this,
Speaker:
where there's like, you've won, and then you've
Speaker:
won again, and you are the little guy.
Speaker:
Because usually this only happens for like mega
Speaker:
corporations.
Speaker:
Unfortunately, I don't know any more about this
Speaker:
guy.
Speaker:
He could be dead.
Speaker:
He's disappeared.
Speaker:
I don't have any idea what's going on
Speaker:
in this guy's life now.
Speaker:
All I will say is, there goes my
Speaker:
hero.
Speaker:
It is a shame.
Speaker:
He's fat as fuck.
Speaker:
Washington DC.
Speaker:
Is that where the White House is?
Speaker:
Yep.
Speaker:
Very, very important to keep a lot of
Speaker:
security, a lot of eyes around to see
Speaker:
what's going on.
Speaker:
Yeah, they do.
Speaker:
They do say that.
Speaker:
There was a- I could see a
Speaker:
reason for- Not so much.
Speaker:
No, I'm kidding.
Speaker:
I want to get that into the country
Speaker:
eventually.
Speaker:
I have a feeling that's over for at
Speaker:
least the next two years.
Speaker:
No, no, no, that was a joke.
Speaker:
That was a joke.
Speaker:
No, but DC traffic was shut down for
Speaker:
nearly two hours because of a mysterious object
Speaker:
that was left in the middle of the
Speaker:
road.
Speaker:
This happens in Canberra all the time.
Speaker:
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker:
Like the bomb squad was called.
Speaker:
Yes.
Speaker:
They very much thought- They have to
Speaker:
take it seriously.
Speaker:
And what was inside is very bomb-esque,
Speaker:
so I don't also blame them that much
Speaker:
for being like- What was it?
Speaker:
It was a sex toy.
Speaker:
Oh, okay.
Speaker:
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker:
When I saw this, I was like, really?
Speaker:
Because I- How is that bomb-esque
Speaker:
might I ask?
Speaker:
Well, that's what I was going to ask
Speaker:
you.
Speaker:
What kind of sex toy do you think
Speaker:
it was?
Speaker:
To be bomb-esque?
Speaker:
Yeah.
Speaker:
What do you think?
Speaker:
I don't know how across sex toys you
Speaker:
are.
Speaker:
No, well, this is what I was going
Speaker:
to say.
Speaker:
I think wires and anything electrical that would
Speaker:
look like a bomb for the safety of
Speaker:
anyone using one of them needs to be
Speaker:
inside the device.
Speaker:
Yeah, you don't want to see external wires.
Speaker:
I was going to say, if you're using
Speaker:
one of those and there's external wires-
Speaker:
It's probably not great.
Speaker:
Don't put it anywhere near you is what
Speaker:
I'm saying.
Speaker:
Look, I would agree.
Speaker:
However, you're not thinking of a huge market
Speaker:
that- It's not always electronic, but there
Speaker:
are some things that- It's a very
Speaker:
intricate piece of hardware that requires a lot
Speaker:
of- Don't act like you're above me
Speaker:
in this whole- Well, how would I
Speaker:
be above you?
Speaker:
You wouldn't know this little boy.
Speaker:
Just explain.
Speaker:
You're the one with the news story in
Speaker:
front of you.
Speaker:
Of the two of us, you would absolutely
Speaker:
use this more than I would.
Speaker:
It's the Peak Performer.
Speaker:
So, it's spelled P-E-R-F-O
Speaker:
-R-M-A.
Speaker:
Performer.
Speaker:
The Peak Performer Curve Infrared Automatic LCD Penis
Speaker:
Pump.
Speaker:
Which looks like this.
Speaker:
It does look- It's bomb-y.
Speaker:
It looks like a pipe bomb.
Speaker:
A lot of machinery to this.
Speaker:
I'm not putting anything anywhere near that, to
Speaker:
be honest.
Speaker:
That's scary.
Speaker:
If you're in the bomb squad, how long
Speaker:
- Obviously, they were shut down for two
Speaker:
hours.
Speaker:
Okay, you show up on site.
Speaker:
You're the first guy there.
Speaker:
You're the hurt locker for right now.
Speaker:
Yes.
Speaker:
How quickly are you like- It's a
Speaker:
penis pump.
Speaker:
I think that's a penis pump.
Speaker:
Can you show me it again?
Speaker:
Okay, yeah.
Speaker:
Just let me have a look again.
Speaker:
Peak Performer Curve Infrared Automatic LCD Penis Pump.
Speaker:
In blue and black.
Speaker:
Yeah.
Speaker:
That wouldn't cross my mind first.
Speaker:
What I would think is it's like a
Speaker:
neutral bullet or something.
Speaker:
It's like one of those things you make
Speaker:
smoothies in.
Speaker:
I wouldn't think that's a bomb.
Speaker:
What's the big empty chamber in the middle
Speaker:
for?
Speaker:
Well, we know now.
Speaker:
If it was a bomb, what would that
Speaker:
be for?
Speaker:
Maybe it fills up with liquid.
Speaker:
Yeah, maybe.
Speaker:
Maybe it fills up with nitrous.
Speaker:
I don't know.
Speaker:
You've got to look at it from their
Speaker:
point of view.
Speaker:
What's the point of that?
Speaker:
Let's say you pull up on the scene
Speaker:
as this bomb expert, and you know immediately
Speaker:
that in this world- That's unfortunate.
Speaker:
We'll do a bit of role-playing.
Speaker:
Okay, all right.
Speaker:
I've seen the thing that I use all
Speaker:
the time.
Speaker:
You've got five of these at home.
Speaker:
Why would you need five?
Speaker:
When you're charging one of them, there's not
Speaker:
a second of your day where you're not
Speaker:
being pumped in milk, I suppose.
Speaker:
Okay, I'm part of Metro WDC.
Speaker:
I'm a part of the police.
Speaker:
You've shown up, and you instantly know what
Speaker:
it is.
Speaker:
How do you- This is an acting
Speaker:
exercise.
Speaker:
You have to break the news to me
Speaker:
in a way that doesn't make me think
Speaker:
that you use this a lot.
Speaker:
Clear the way, clear the way.
Speaker:
Bomb expert Josh is here.
Speaker:
Thank God that you're here, sir.
Speaker:
Okay, let me just take a quick look
Speaker:
at this.
Speaker:
It's in the box.
Speaker:
In fact, let me just use this.
Speaker:
I've got a prop here.
Speaker:
We've established a perimeter.
Speaker:
We just need you to defuse or figure
Speaker:
out what the hell this is.
Speaker:
Let me just take a look at it
Speaker:
first.
Speaker:
Stay back, stay back.
Speaker:
Fucking stay back.
Speaker:
I won't say it again.
Speaker:
I'll start shooting people.
Speaker:
Stay back.
Speaker:
You're really in character.
Speaker:
I know, right?
Speaker:
Okay, what do you think?
Speaker:
This is your speciality.
Speaker:
Well, I don't think.
Speaker:
I know.
Speaker:
Oh my goodness, okay.
Speaker:
This is the kind of guy we need.
Speaker:
This isn't a bomb.
Speaker:
Well, we've shut down traffic, sir.
Speaker:
Yeah, this isn't a bomb.
Speaker:
I know that for sure.
Speaker:
I know you were deployed overseas for five
Speaker:
years, but how certain are you?
Speaker:
I'm 100% certain.
Speaker:
Well, then what is it?
Speaker:
Why does it look so bomb-less?
Speaker:
Well, I've got five.
Speaker:
I'm 500% certain.
Speaker:
Really?
Speaker:
Yeah, it's not a bomb.
Speaker:
Well, what the hell is it then, sir?
Speaker:
Beats me.
Speaker:
It beats.
Speaker:
Well, you seem very.
Speaker:
Beats me.
Speaker:
Yeah, but you seem super certain.
Speaker:
Quite literally.
Speaker:
This specifically beats me.
Speaker:
That's very good.
Speaker:
Sir, I.
Speaker:
But if I had to fathom a guess.
Speaker:
Sure.
Speaker:
I'd say it's a torch of some kind.
Speaker:
You'd say it's a light?
Speaker:
I'd say it's a light of some kind.
Speaker:
Yeah.
Speaker:
It's looking.
Speaker:
Just the biggest torch you've ever seen.
Speaker:
Obviously, I don't understand bombs, sir, but why
Speaker:
is there such a big cylindrical part of
Speaker:
it that's empty?
Speaker:
Yeah, well, because.
Speaker:
What fills that, sir?
Speaker:
What fills that?
Speaker:
What the hell is going on?
Speaker:
Sir, I think my wife has suggested I
Speaker:
buy this bomb.
Speaker:
That makes a lot of sense.
Speaker:
Sir, I think my wife's tennis trailer has
Speaker:
this bomb.
Speaker:
It doesn't need it from what I understand.
Speaker:
This must be tennis equipment.
Speaker:
Yeah.
Speaker:
Ned, we're best friends.
Speaker:
We are.
Speaker:
It's true.
Speaker:
It's important for best friends that drink.
Speaker:
Yep.
Speaker:
To have similar drinks, I think.
Speaker:
Yeah.
Speaker:
There was a while there, about this time
Speaker:
last year, where you went through what can
Speaker:
only be termed as a psychotic episode.
Speaker:
I don't think so.
Speaker:
Where you decided that you didn't want to
Speaker:
drink beer anymore.
Speaker:
I was over beer.
Speaker:
No, no.
Speaker:
I listened to Canadian Club a little too
Speaker:
much, and I was over beer.
Speaker:
You really went for it, and it caused...
Speaker:
Well, it didn't cause a rift, obviously.
Speaker:
We're friends.
Speaker:
But it was a problem.
Speaker:
I was drinking ginger beers.
Speaker:
This has caused problems.
Speaker:
I was drinking ginger beers.
Speaker:
I was drinking a lot of hard solos.
Speaker:
I was having, obviously, my favourite tequila and
Speaker:
soda.
Speaker:
But, yeah, I was really just like, you
Speaker:
know what?
Speaker:
I'm sick of having to placate beer.
Speaker:
Yeah.
Speaker:
I hate it.
Speaker:
And we eventually got you back.
Speaker:
I'm back.
Speaker:
I actually love it again.
Speaker:
Which is great, because it's just cheaper.
Speaker:
It's easier for rounds, all that sort of
Speaker:
stuff.
Speaker:
I do think that I'm the one now
Speaker:
pissing in the bath water, as it were.
Speaker:
Yuck.
Speaker:
But how so?
Speaker:
Because I have started changing up the beers
Speaker:
that I enjoy.
Speaker:
I've gone to- What's your beer of
Speaker:
choice?
Speaker:
Well, no, it's not my beer of choice.
Speaker:
Don't get me wrong.
Speaker:
It's just something I'm doing at the moment.
Speaker:
But what is your beer of choice?
Speaker:
I'm, at the moment, having Pass Blue Ribbon.
Speaker:
Yeah, PBR.
Speaker:
Yeah.
Speaker:
Now, what's happening with that, the reason is
Speaker:
because it's incredibly cheap.
Speaker:
It is 1.8 drinks per can.
Speaker:
They're big cans.
Speaker:
Tall boys.
Speaker:
And the cans are like monster cans.
Speaker:
Yeah, they're tall boys.
Speaker:
So, I actually- There's a lot to
Speaker:
like logistically about the PBR.
Speaker:
Sure.
Speaker:
Okay, yeah.
Speaker:
It's beer.
Speaker:
The best way to describe how it tastes
Speaker:
is just- Beerish.
Speaker:
If you were like beer, that.
Speaker:
That's what it tastes like.
Speaker:
It's pretty far away from a craft beer,
Speaker:
though, I'll say.
Speaker:
It's not a craft beer.
Speaker:
You're not getting an XBA, IPA twang to
Speaker:
it.
Speaker:
It's very watery.
Speaker:
Nothing fancy.
Speaker:
And I am yet to have a hangover
Speaker:
from PBR.
Speaker:
So, this is where I'm at.
Speaker:
You seemingly do not- I don't care.
Speaker:
I don't really- Go in for it.
Speaker:
Nah, and it's funny because I've gone completely
Speaker:
the other way.
Speaker:
Obviously, as a proud Longstonian, I'll always drink
Speaker:
James Bogues.
Speaker:
Yep.
Speaker:
Even though they don't even operate there anymore.
Speaker:
But I still- Disgraceful.
Speaker:
I'm dug in now.
Speaker:
So, I do enjoy a draft.
Speaker:
But I do go in for like a
Speaker:
tasty beer.
Speaker:
Yeah.
Speaker:
Whereas you don't like- As much as
Speaker:
you have stuck with the beer brand throughout
Speaker:
all of this, you don't really like the
Speaker:
taste of beer, I don't think.
Speaker:
I don't mind the taste of beer.
Speaker:
I enjoy like a Friday afternoon beer.
Speaker:
That's pretty great.
Speaker:
But the more they're like, oh, we've put
Speaker:
some honeydew and some lavender-infused Vegemite crumbs.
Speaker:
You have no idea.
Speaker:
I'm like, this is shit.
Speaker:
Lavender-infused Vegemite crumbs.
Speaker:
This is shithouse.
Speaker:
Like, just make beer.
Speaker:
Like, I just want to taste beer.
Speaker:
But everyone's made beer.
Speaker:
That's what I'm saying.
Speaker:
It's like they're bored now.
Speaker:
And you have like your raspberry sours and
Speaker:
a lemon twang is more- No.
Speaker:
Than like a Vegemite crumb.
Speaker:
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker:
Whatever the fuck that is.
Speaker:
Yeah, no, that's disgusting.
Speaker:
But, yes.
Speaker:
Okay.
Speaker:
I just like- Am I stuffing the
Speaker:
friendship up now by going in this direction?
Speaker:
Well, because also- Because we can't split
Speaker:
a slab.
Speaker:
We can't get a 10-pack and-
Speaker:
PBR's not that accessible either.
Speaker:
Like, you can't like get it.
Speaker:
I like to stick- I like to
Speaker:
make a choice of a beer and then
Speaker:
stick to it all day.
Speaker:
Yeah, okay.
Speaker:
That's how I think I avoid a hangover.
Speaker:
And PBR is sold almost nowhere except at
Speaker:
bottlers.
Speaker:
Yeah.
Speaker:
Which is not great.
Speaker:
Which is hard to find on tap.
Speaker:
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker:
Can we lock in Carlton Dry then as
Speaker:
our beer?
Speaker:
I don't know.
Speaker:
Because you don't.
Speaker:
You seem to struggle with that.
Speaker:
But that's my pub beer of choice.
Speaker:
So, can't we just- Lower carbs, mate.
Speaker:
Lower carbs.
Speaker:
I don't care about that though.
Speaker:
A horsey giddy up.
Speaker:
Like, what are we doing?
Speaker:
I don't care.
Speaker:
Well, by that logic, we should be drinking
Speaker:
twoies.
Speaker:
Oh, no.
Speaker:
That's a deer.
Speaker:
Never mind.
Speaker:
It is a deer.
Speaker:
Yeah.
Speaker:
But there's also so many horses on so
Speaker:
many different beers.
Speaker:
It does seem like they go- Like
Speaker:
the Carlton ones.
Speaker:
Yeah.
Speaker:
Yeah.
Speaker:
And all the draft.
Speaker:
The James Boat draft.
Speaker:
Whee.
Speaker:
Yeah.
Speaker:
Whee.
Speaker:
Whee.
Speaker:
I just think we have to stick to
Speaker:
one that we can get together.
Speaker:
Because the other night, we had a real
Speaker:
issue where we ended up nearly getting three
Speaker:
separate beers between you, me, and Michael.
Speaker:
And that's too much to remember.
Speaker:
It's too much to purchase.
Speaker:
It doesn't make it cheaper for anyone.
Speaker:
Do you remember when you could get a
Speaker:
Corona for $10?
Speaker:
Like in like 2014?
Speaker:
Nah.
Speaker:
What?
Speaker:
I actually don't remember that.
Speaker:
I don't think you've ever been a Corona
Speaker:
boy.
Speaker:
I was a Corona boy for a while.
Speaker:
Obviously not.
Speaker:
But I will say, I'll be honest, I
Speaker:
pretended to like Corona.
Speaker:
What?
Speaker:
That's the only beer I've ever pretended to
Speaker:
like.
Speaker:
What?
Speaker:
I love Corona.
Speaker:
Nah, I wasn't a big fan of Corona.
Speaker:
If you and I, if you would love
Speaker:
to get into a Pacifico, you and I
Speaker:
are going to be- Do you want
Speaker:
to turn this into a beer podcast?
Speaker:
No, because at the end of the day,
Speaker:
I also don't like beer that much.
Speaker:
Yeah, so you're going back.
Speaker:
Turncoat.
Speaker:
This is disgraceful.
Speaker:
It's acceptable to me, but I don't like
Speaker:
it enough to make a podcast out of
Speaker:
it.
Speaker:
I've heard enough.
Speaker:
I've heard enough.
Speaker:
You're pathetic.
Speaker:
How am I?
Speaker:
All right.
Speaker:
Whatever.
Speaker:
My dad and I didn't see eye to
Speaker:
eye on a lot of stuff as a
Speaker:
kid, but one of the good things that
Speaker:
he always used to say to me was
Speaker:
like, he's like, I don't care what you
Speaker:
do for work as long as you're happy.
Speaker:
Yeah.
Speaker:
And I, as an adult, realised that's impossible.
Speaker:
The way that you would reword that, I
Speaker:
guess it's also you're softening it for a
Speaker:
kid, but the way I would reword that
Speaker:
in today's day and age is get a
Speaker:
job that you can stand.
Speaker:
Yes.
Speaker:
Get a job that excites you in some
Speaker:
way.
Speaker:
I think it's probably around 5% of
Speaker:
the working population love their job.
Speaker:
Yeah.
Speaker:
And I think the rest, there's like probably
Speaker:
40% of people who are like, eh,
Speaker:
it's not bad.
Speaker:
50% hate it.
Speaker:
Everybody's got something about their job they don't
Speaker:
love, even if they love their job.
Speaker:
Like you hear actors and you want to
Speaker:
clobber them to death when you hear this,
Speaker:
but they're like, oh, having to go on
Speaker:
the media tours where I sell the movie.
Speaker:
And I've got to get up at 4
Speaker:
a.m. for a month.
Speaker:
But still, objectively, you'd say that's something they
Speaker:
don't enjoy about their job.
Speaker:
You can find things to complain about.
Speaker:
But my dad used to say, he's like,
Speaker:
I don't care if you fill in holes
Speaker:
in the road, as long as you enjoy
Speaker:
it.
Speaker:
Yeah.
Speaker:
That's sort of similar to what my dad
Speaker:
used to say, but he actually put it
Speaker:
in a different way.
Speaker:
He was like, I don't care what you
Speaker:
do for a living as long as you
Speaker:
choose it.
Speaker:
Yeah.
Speaker:
Okay.
Speaker:
Nice.
Speaker:
As long as it's not something you feel
Speaker:
you have to do just to make money.
Speaker:
I think you and my, both of our
Speaker:
dads were of that ilk.
Speaker:
Yes.
Speaker:
Just like my dad did not pay attention
Speaker:
at school.
Speaker:
And then, so when he got to the
Speaker:
end of it, they were like, well.
Speaker:
Here are your options.
Speaker:
You're a carpenter now.
Speaker:
Sorry, but that's all we need really.
Speaker:
But yes, he always used to be like,
Speaker:
I had a friend named Tony who was
Speaker:
really into cars and he knew he wanted
Speaker:
to be a mechanic.
Speaker:
Yeah.
Speaker:
My dad was like, that's fantastic that Tony
Speaker:
knows that and wants that because he just
Speaker:
can go out and do that.
Speaker:
He's got direction in his life.
Speaker:
I think that's what my dad wanted.
Speaker:
I think my dad could not have raised
Speaker:
me in any other time period than the
Speaker:
one he did because if I had to
Speaker:
pitch to my dad that I can and
Speaker:
would love it if I was an official
Speaker:
Twitch streamer.
Speaker:
Yeah.
Speaker:
That just played video games all day and
Speaker:
I could make $50,000 a month from
Speaker:
that.
Speaker:
Yes.
Speaker:
It would be very hard for him to
Speaker:
place because his other rule was also get
Speaker:
out of the house.
Speaker:
Yes.
Speaker:
No more playing video games all day.
Speaker:
I think the problem that you're describing is
Speaker:
exactly what I'm having at the moment because
Speaker:
my youngest stepson, because I'm obviously, I do
Speaker:
lots of stuff with video and audio and
Speaker:
all that.
Speaker:
Like it's been tasked to me, like Carrie,
Speaker:
my partner, said he wants to make a
Speaker:
YouTube channel.
Speaker:
I know.
Speaker:
And we very quickly said we'll keep it
Speaker:
in the family.
Speaker:
Sure.
Speaker:
Like it'll be a private YouTube channel.
Speaker:
Because he's got cousins overseas and that and
Speaker:
they can watch his videos.
Speaker:
Yeah, cute vlogs.
Speaker:
It's a lot of fucking work for me.
Speaker:
We're talking about literally making me an editor
Speaker:
for a YouTube channel that's not even going
Speaker:
to make money.
Speaker:
A YouTube channel that will at most get
Speaker:
like 30 views per video.
Speaker:
Well, I already do that with ours, but
Speaker:
I don't have a second.
Speaker:
The ceiling's endless on this one.
Speaker:
But no, the thing with his is I
Speaker:
just, you kind of sit there and go,
Speaker:
well, do we keep it private?
Speaker:
Yeah.
Speaker:
This kid could be great.
Speaker:
This kid could be great.
Speaker:
And we could be making millions of dollars
Speaker:
Macaulay Culkin style as his parents.
Speaker:
Yeah, you don't want to hold him back.
Speaker:
It's hard now.
Speaker:
Like it's hard not to say that that's
Speaker:
a legitimate thing you could do if you
Speaker:
were good enough.
Speaker:
And it's also kind of hard as well,
Speaker:
because I know you've told this story before
Speaker:
where your sister was like a very much
Speaker:
into singing.
Speaker:
And then your parents had to be like,
Speaker:
you, I don't know if she was considering
Speaker:
going on Australian Idol back when judges were
Speaker:
really mean.
Speaker:
Yeah.
Speaker:
So it was like, how good is she?
Speaker:
They're going to be very mean to you
Speaker:
potentially.
Speaker:
Like, I don't know.
Speaker:
A lot of the streamers that I watch,
Speaker:
like on reels or whatever that I see
Speaker:
highlights for, I'm like, well, I don't get
Speaker:
this at all.
Speaker:
No.
Speaker:
They also have a million followers.
Speaker:
I watched the boys literally watch some of
Speaker:
these streamers.
Speaker:
And I think to myself, I'm like, this
Speaker:
is the first time I've truly been an
Speaker:
old man.
Speaker:
Yeah.
Speaker:
Like this is hot garbage.
Speaker:
And I just don't get it.
Speaker:
But you look at the numbers and you're
Speaker:
like, well, I'm the one who doesn't get
Speaker:
it.
Speaker:
It's not that this isn't something that you
Speaker:
don't get.
Speaker:
Like, I don't get it.
Speaker:
You can objectively say that someone is not
Speaker:
a singer you enjoy, but to be like,
Speaker:
oh, this person has no value at all.
Speaker:
But they're like, welcome back to MaxStreams.
Speaker:
And it's just a kid playing Minecraft for
Speaker:
10 hours.
Speaker:
I'm like, this sucks.
Speaker:
This is awful.
Speaker:
But you're also a millionaire.
Speaker:
So am I the idiot?
Speaker:
So your dad would have a real hard
Speaker:
time trying to get you to not be
Speaker:
a Twitch streamer.
Speaker:
I was thinking this the other day, but
Speaker:
it was more about OnlyFans.
Speaker:
So I was like, if that existed the
Speaker:
way it does now, when I was like
Speaker:
18.
Speaker:
Yeah.
Speaker:
Why not?
Speaker:
Who knows what might have happened.
Speaker:
Really?
Speaker:
I could tell you what would have happened.
Speaker:
You would have been very visible and very
Speaker:
broke still.
Speaker:
Maybe this is a life hack.
Speaker:
Yeah.
Speaker:
Maybe everyone's already doing it.
Speaker:
I'm just like late to the party.
Speaker:
Maybe this is also being 31 and finding
Speaker:
that the things that excite my brain.
Speaker:
You're 31.
Speaker:
Yeah.
Speaker:
I thought you were 32.
Speaker:
I'm turning 32.
Speaker:
Yeah.
Speaker:
But I'm 31.
Speaker:
You are 31 currently.
Speaker:
I'm still 31.
Speaker:
I'm actually kind of excited to turn 32.
Speaker:
32 is a cool age.
Speaker:
It is a cool age.
Speaker:
So it's 33.
Speaker:
34 is pretty good.
Speaker:
35 sucks.
Speaker:
Can vouch.
Speaker:
You are 35.
Speaker:
I am 35.
Speaker:
It's the first one that's not at all
Speaker:
appealing to me.
Speaker:
It's the first one I'm like, oh my
Speaker:
God.
Speaker:
Oh no.
Speaker:
I'm in my mid 30s.
Speaker:
Oh Jesus.
Speaker:
What the fuck is going on?
Speaker:
When does this end?
Speaker:
Oh no.
Speaker:
Oh no.
Speaker:
This is awful.
Speaker:
Yeah.
Speaker:
No, I did something that it's just, that's
Speaker:
it.
Speaker:
As you grow up, it's not like, oh,
Speaker:
I don't need to do, wherever I can
Speaker:
find dopamine is where I will take it.
Speaker:
Sure.
Speaker:
And the way I'm finding dopamine lately is
Speaker:
just doing a complete undie and sock restock.
Speaker:
Oh yeah.
Speaker:
Just like, you know what?
Speaker:
Done.
Speaker:
That being said, I'm not buying really fancy
Speaker:
undies.
Speaker:
They're still from like your Kmart.
Speaker:
So your big W's and targets.
Speaker:
We've been through this before though.
Speaker:
Like it's sometimes they are the most comfortable
Speaker:
undies.
Speaker:
It's perfect.
Speaker:
Yeah.
Speaker:
It's great.
Speaker:
And it's more so than it's comfortable.
Speaker:
It's affordable.
Speaker:
Yes.
Speaker:
That's all I really care about.
Speaker:
But just having a brand new set and
Speaker:
throwing, how satisfying it is to throw out
Speaker:
socks that I've had to like bear with
Speaker:
because the elastic band is like down by
Speaker:
my ankle.
Speaker:
There's no grip to it at all.
Speaker:
I almost get those like bloody old school
Speaker:
1920s, like the suspenders for your socks.
Speaker:
Exactly.
Speaker:
Yeah.
Speaker:
I need to like stirrups for my socks
Speaker:
or I have garter belts.
Speaker:
I just think that everyone should do this
Speaker:
probably once a month.
Speaker:
And I get that that's probably a bit
Speaker:
wasteful.
Speaker:
Once a month.
Speaker:
But it's so good.
Speaker:
And I'm living in absolute, I'm looking forward
Speaker:
to putting on undies.
Speaker:
Yeah.
Speaker:
Right.
Speaker:
That's usually just something I have to do.
Speaker:
Yeah.
Speaker:
It's something I just, it's not really, it's
Speaker:
not, there's no wiggle room.
Speaker:
Well, actually there's actually a lot more wiggle
Speaker:
room if I don't put them on.
Speaker:
Justin Timberlake used to apparently do this.
Speaker:
This was something that I remember seeing about
Speaker:
him that he would literally just throw undies
Speaker:
away.
Speaker:
Justin Bieber does this.
Speaker:
He did said it in an interview.
Speaker:
Who's Justin Bieber?
Speaker:
Justin Bieber.
Speaker:
Who is Justin Bieber?
Speaker:
He's Justin Bieber, but South African.
Speaker:
Yeah.
Speaker:
Okay.
Speaker:
I like to give myself some new Kelvins
Speaker:
every single time.
Speaker:
Hell the bloody hell are you?
Speaker:
I like to make sure that I have
Speaker:
a lot of room for my nutsack.
Speaker:
But he throws out a pair of-
Speaker:
That's South African family who are probably going
Speaker:
to be upset about that.
Speaker:
They'll love that anyway.
Speaker:
That's why I backed out.
Speaker:
Yeah, I graciously backed out of it.
Speaker:
He apparently wears like his pairs of Kelvins
Speaker:
and he's sponsored by Kelvins.
Speaker:
Yeah, that makes sense.
Speaker:
Wears them once and throws them out.
Speaker:
The resale value of those has got to
Speaker:
be huge.
Speaker:
I don't believe that for a second though.
Speaker:
What do you mean?
Speaker:
I don't believe he does.
Speaker:
What part of him makes you think that's
Speaker:
not true?
Speaker:
He's not wasteful?
Speaker:
I just don't think you'd build a mansion
Speaker:
like that and not have a laundry.
Speaker:
Like you would.
Speaker:
I don't think it's the fact, I think
Speaker:
he washes other clothes.
Speaker:
I think for his undies, he just, he
Speaker:
said that he's like, I love it.
Speaker:
I don't think he washes anything.
Speaker:
I would say he has a staff that
Speaker:
take care of the laundry for him.
Speaker:
Yeah, okay.
Speaker:
Yeah, I don't think he would be doing
Speaker:
that himself.
Speaker:
But I think it's more of a choice.
Speaker:
I think he's saying, yeah, look, I've got
Speaker:
great jumpers.
Speaker:
I got great jeans.
Speaker:
The staff can handle those, but I want
Speaker:
a new pair of Kelvin every day.
Speaker:
And as a brand ambassador, I'm allowed to.
Speaker:
I've worn new Kelvins straight out of the
Speaker:
box before.
Speaker:
They're starchy.
Speaker:
They're like kind of- Yeah, the ones
Speaker:
you're getting.
Speaker:
They're like sandpapery.
Speaker:
I don't think you'd want to wash them
Speaker:
before you wore them.
Speaker:
Calvin Klein pay Justin Bieber to wear his,
Speaker:
because they're Kelvins, and they think it's phenomenal.
Speaker:
I honestly think they would pay you to
Speaker:
not.
Speaker:
That's how far away you and Justin Bieber
Speaker:
are.
Speaker:
So when you're like, well, they're a bit
Speaker:
starchy.
Speaker:
It's like, yeah, because you are getting the
Speaker:
bottom of the line Kelvins, and he's getting
Speaker:
them hot off the press.
Speaker:
They might be delivered to him by Mr.
Speaker:
Calvin or Mr. Klein even.
Speaker:
I was getting holes in my Calvin Kleins.
Speaker:
There you go.
Speaker:
Way too early.
Speaker:
I was like, well, these are meant to
Speaker:
be high quality.
Speaker:
And he was farting the back of me.
Speaker:
Chat GPT'd it.
Speaker:
And it literally said what you just said.
Speaker:
You're blowing the back of me.
Speaker:
The ones I buy are shitty.
Speaker:
Because I know you're going to an office.
Speaker:
I know you're going to a place that
Speaker:
sells them very discounted.
Speaker:
I've decided I'm not going to say the
Speaker:
brand name.
Speaker:
Apparently they actually have different tiers of how
Speaker:
good the Kelvins are.
Speaker:
There's a reason they're so discounted, and it's
Speaker:
because that's what you're buying.
Speaker:
So what you just said is 100%
Speaker:
correct.
Speaker:
Well, that was the Ned and Josh podcast.
Speaker:
Don't forget to follow them on socials.
Speaker:
God knows their TikTok needs some love.
Speaker:
At Ned and Josh.
