Today, we delve into the profound interplay of family, faith, and ministry as we share our personal journey and experiences. We are joined by a very special guest, who happens to be the matriarch of our family, as we explore the dynamics of family life intertwined with our commitment to ministry. This episode highlights how our faith journey has shaped our family values and the challenges we've faced along the way, including the impact of being in ministry and how it influences our relationships. We reflect on the lessons learned, the moments that tested our faith, and the importance of open communication within our family. Together, we hope to provide insights that resonate with anyone navigating the complexities of faith and family life.

Takeaways:

• In this episode, we discuss the importance of family in ministry and how it shapes our faith journey.
• We share personal stories about our marriage, parenting, and the challenges faced while raising children in a church environment.
• The significance of open communication in a family is emphasized as a way to foster love and trust among family members.
• We reflect on how our upbringing and experiences in ministry have influenced our perspectives on faith and relationships.
• The podcast highlights the balance between personal life and ministry, showcasing the challenges and joys that come with it.
• We explore the impact of community and friendships formed through church interactions and how they contribute to spiritual growth.

Links referenced in this episode:

• renewedmind.us

Foreign.

And welcome back to the Renewed Mind Podcast.

I am your host, Dr.

J.

This is my co.

Host, Jody.

And we're so glad that you are back with us today.

We.

We have a special guest.

Yes, we do.

Well, almost two.

Yeah.

Honey.

Honey's hanging around us right now.

And we have my mom.

My mom.

Your wife.

Oh, yeah, I'm sorry.

My wife on the mic.

Hi.

Yeah, yeah, you gotta make sure you.

Hit it like that.

Well, we.

You guys know, we've been just discussing a little bit about our.

Our faith journey, how we.

We got here.

Talked a little bit about my.

My book Authentic Faith and Faith and Obedience and what to do pretty much as a family.

So we figured might as well bring the matriarch, the mama.

The mama bear as our first guest.

It only makes sense, right?

Yeah.

So we wanted to bring our guests.

So this is our very, very, very, very special guest.

Hi.

Welcome.

I didn't pay him to say that.

I'm glad you're here, Mom.

It's.

I think this is going to be good.

So today we're just.

We're talking about family.

Family with ministry.

With ministry and faith.

So.

Yeah, yeah, it's.

It's interesting that this is Mom's first time in our studio.

Very interesting.

Yeah.

Oh, I forget that y' all can't hear me the way I'm hearing y' all.

Right.

Yeah, yeah.

So if I'm not talking.

Hey, that.

That's our other upgrade.

Upgrade coming.

We're going to have some headphones.

Some headphones for everyone.

Yeah.

So, yeah, on the pod.

So y' all have been married for 20.

I was like, let me guess.

How did I forget?

27 years?

27.

A little over 27.

Wow.

This past March was 27.

27.

Gone by so fast.

Yeah, I mean, you know, when we first got married, I had, like, long.

Black hair I could run my fingers through.

Once upon a time.

You were able to do that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So then soon after y' all got married or you were already in ministry?

Yes, I.

I was in ministry.

Know I got saved.

Yeah.

By October of that same year, I.

I was already preaching my first sermon.

And then Mom.

Mom came in a year later.

Yeah.

So at that point in your life when you met dad, like, what was that prior to your life?

Got saved, graduated college and then started attending church that my friend told me about.

Started attending.

So I had been a Christian for four or five years and then met up with dad, God brought us together.

Oh, my goodness.

June.

I'm sorry.

December.

December.

Yes.

1997 was yalls first day.

Well, it was our first, like kind of the contact phone call conversation.

Summertime.

Remember you came over to our church?

Yeah, I went to.

We were doing a youth rally.

I was a youth pastor.

And we're inviting some different churches.

Yeah.

And Mario, our friend, childhood friend, you know, he was my first friend in.

In America.

And I was his first friend when he moved down from Illinois.

Yeah.

Some Chicago area.

So I'd been talking to him about the youth rally and.

And such, and.

And he mentioned, hey, remember Ruby?

She.

She works with youth.

You should invite them.

I said, yeah.

I said, where is she?

So he told me, and we.

We kind of crossed paths.

Yeah.

At that point, but not really.

We didn't really talk much.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Honey agrees.

Honey.

Right.

So.

Yeah.

So then what happened?

What.

What was your side of prior to getting in contact with her?

Well, I.

As I mentioned, I was a youth pastor, and we were.

I was pretty busy, you know, with the youth, and we were making plans to expand there at the church.

So we were constructing and adding some lights and the such, and we were having a prayer meeting, and I was in the sanctuary under some chairs, just praying and seeking God.

And then I feel like God telling me, your ministry is not going to go forward until you get married.

Yeah, I know.

And I was like, what?

Yeah, like, you know, and I was a new Christian.

Yeah.

You know, maybe a little over a year, I think, at that point.

Yeah, a little over a year saved.

And.

And I'm wondering, like, man, what do.

Or almost a year saved.

A little over a year saved.

And I was thinking, where do pastors hang out?

Pick up girls.

Yeah.

Because, you know, that's the only pattern I needed.

So I.

I was praying.

I said, okay, Lord, you.

You got to tell me, like, what do I do?

Like, who.

Who do I marry?

And then he mentioned Ruby.

And that's when I called in December.

I got.

God gave me this number and I called, said, I want to leave a message for Ruby.

And they said, okay.

And then I hung up, you know, and then about 30 minutes later, mom called me.

So then, mom, you get a call.

Know what happened?

Yeah, I called and said, who's this?

And he's like, Jose.

And like, okay.

And then.

Yeah, we just started going from there.

Yeah, I told her, I said, I really have to talk to you, but I'm busy.

And then she Was at school, she was working.

You were.

She was at her lunch break.

Yeah, I was a.

Yeah.

Elementary teacher.

Yeah.

And so then you're probably like, why is this person calling?

Yeah.

Did you, did you remember him?

Yes, because of the previous.

He had attended our church earlier that year.

Yeah.

And with his friend.

And so that's how I remember Jose.

And.

Yeah, that was how it started.

That was the beginning.

And then I thought, well, my friend's getting married, I'm going to invite him to the wedding.

And that's not like me, like to invite a guy out.

I just thought it was from the Lord.

If you're not.

If you're watching it, you'll see what.

He just said right now.

Yeah.

And then so I said, well, I'm going to invite him.

I just felt God leading me to do that.

He said, yes, I'll go with you.

That's crazy.

Yeah.

I had nothing else to do.

Me neither.

My schedule is free.

Then y' all are at the wedding.

And dad, you wanted to tell her what you felt God had told you.

Yes.

Which was God said, you're gonna be my wife.

Right.

Yeah.

But, you know, it didn't happen.

No, I couldn't do it.

Of course.

So then after that you called her, right?

Yeah.

That was a Saturday, So Sunday we didn't speak, we had church.

I was know Sunday is real, real busy for me all the time.

And so I just figured, you know, I got home and I prayed.

I said, lord, if she's not the one, then you get her out of my life.

Cuz I'm not willing to give up my ministry for her or for.

For anyone else, you know, compromise it.

Yeah.

And the following day on Monday, she called.

Oh my gosh.

Yeah.

Yeah, she called.

And again, the Lord was leading me to call.

Yeah, I was just obeying the Lord.

Yeah.

And then we.

We.

I finally built up the courage to.

To tell her.

God said, you're gonna be my wife.

I said, babe, don't.

Don't believe me.

You pray about it.

And then you got the call and then what did you say?

You were in the show or you got out of it.

Yeah.

So he.

When he told me that, I kind of already knew and.

But I was so nervous.

It was out of the ordinary.

It was weird.

You know, I think when God asks you to, like when it's of God, it's usually not how normal things flow.

Like the way you hear society and movies and friends and family, how things normally progress when you meet someone.

Yeah.

This was very out of the ordinary.

And it was God.

So, yeah, he's telling me.

And I prayed and then I was brushing my hair and God told me, just as I made Eve for Adam, I made you for him.

And, yeah, he's going to be your husband.

So I was like, okay.

I was crying and it was one of those moments where, you know, it's God because you just.

I don't know, you just feel it in your heart, your soul, your spirit.

And I was crying because it was God's presence and I was just me and God and I was just brushing my hair.

So I called him and told him.

Yeah.

And without really knowing him.

I mean, we met when we were in elementary school.

We were in fourth grade.

Had the same fourth grade teacher.

After that, we moved to the other side of town.

So we hadn't really talked or had a conversation for so many years.

Yeah.

And then to meet up like that and God saying all this was.

It was interesting.

So, yeah, I love that story.

I love you telling that story.

So, yeah, that's crazy.

So then obviously y' all start dating, right?

Well, I mean, y' all are kind of engaged.

Yeah, we just started going to.

Primarily counseling.

Yeah.

Well, I was in Christmas break in Christmas.

And at that time, the school district that I was working for, they gave us two weeks off.

Yeah.

So during those two weeks I had left, I wasn't engaged, dating someone.

I get back in January, I have a ring on my finger, and my co workers and friends are like, what is going on?

But prior to that, I was nervous about what.

What's my family gonna say?

My parents, my siblings.

But yeah.

Interesting backstory, though.

We don't share this very much, but the teacher, our fourth grade teacher, he.

Everyone loved him.

He was like one of the best teachers.

Mr.

Dave really cared for the students, you could tell.

Yeah, he did so much for us.

Years later, he was at a.

In a river picnicking, I guess, with his family.

It was a Boy Scouts.

A boy.

The Boy Scouts and his brother had fallen in the river.

We've had a lot of rain and.

And a kid was drowning and his brother jumped in to save the kid.

And then Mr.

Taez jumped in to get both of them and.

And they drowned.

He drowned.

A very, very sad story.

But, you know, he was one of those teachers that impacts you in such a way.

I mean, you still remember him through adulthood.

Oh, wow.

Yeah.

So amazing teacher, but yeah.

Yes, he was.

Wait, he's the one who got mom to be my teacher?

He paired us up.

Yeah.

And help told me to help him learn English.

Oh, my God.

Because the.

My other two tutors were being crazy.

They're being crazy.

It was Mario and Tony.

Oh, they're your friends?

Still friends to this day.

They're 45 years.

Yes, that's what it was.

They were teaching me all the bad words.

45 years later, still friends.

So Mr.

Day is.

Remove them and.

And put a mom there.

Oh, my goodness.

So, hey, thanks.

More.

Thanks, Tony.

Yeah, thanks, guys.

Oh, my gosh.

Yeah.

So you're obviously English as your second language.

It was.

You're mostly speaking Spanish.

So it's crazy that it connects from all the.

When y' all were kids to in your late 20s.

Yeah.

You know, when God has a.

A purpose and a plan always comes to pass.

It's pretty amazing because y' all at that point had lived such different lives.

Yeah.

Like, most of your life.

You're Catholic, right?

Yes, Catholic.

And then went to college, and he's in the Navy while you're in college.

Well, yeah.

Living two different lives.

He was on the other side of the world at that time.

Yeah.

I'm over here.

Yeah, it's.

And God just kind of brought you all together.

Yes.

So it's amazing.

Yeah.

So then y' all got married in March, so.

March 14th.

March 14th.

So to sum it up, that's Yalls story.

Yeah.

As.

As you guys call it.

The origin story.

Yeah, that's Yalls origin story.

And then.

So mom get married to dad, and Dad's serving in the church.

And at this point, what are you doing in the church?

I'm a youth pastor, so.

Yeah, you're.

So she married me while.

While I'm a youth pastor already.

Yes.

So you get married into that.

So what was that like?

I liked it.

It was.

I love that age group because I was working at my church with that age group.

Okay.

I was a youth assistant.

I wasn't a youth pastor.

I was just helping out and.

But the church was nice.

I really liked the church.

I like the people, the pastor there, the environment.

It was a different.

It was.

I liked it.

It was nice.

Yeah.

So that was, I guess, before you experienced many different things and situations in ministry.

That was the earlier part of it.

You had no idea what you were getting into.

No.

As his wife.

And obviously, you probably didn't know what you were getting into in ministry either.

Absolutely nothing.

Yeah.

I had no clue.

I didn't even know how to be a Christian.

Right.

Yeah, exactly.

Like, y' all are both just kind of figuring it out.

We're figuring out as Christians, we, of course, both our parents have been married.

We both come from.

Our parents are still together and married.

His parents are still to get married.

You know, so that was kind of our pattern.

Like, okay, just married.

And then I had siblings that have been married a while.

Yeah.

But not as, like, a Christian role model type of marriage.

We didn't have that.

Yeah, right.

Yeah.

We're learning as we go.

That's crazy.

So having to juggle all of those things, and then, of course, just getting to know each other.

Y' all just got married.

But not only that, Joe, There was turmoil in the church, so three things.

Turmoil in the church, getting married, and then learning to be a youth pastor's wife.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And that's.

That's the reality of it.

You know, sometimes there's lows in the church or highs that you experience.

So marrying into that must been just a whole interesting experience.

It's been a roller coaster of a journey.

Yeah.

Up and down mountains and valleys.

And, you know, we'll probably do our own podcast, like, behind the Pulpit type.

Oh, yeah.

There's a lot of things that I wish I had learned or heard.

Pastor's Wife, maybe that would help me, but I like to help others in their walk and maybe just help someone do it.

It's not easy.

See?

So.

So you guys are.

Are getting to watch Birth of a new podcast.

We don't even know what it's called yet, but.

Oh, my God.

Behind the Pulpit sounds pretty good.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But, yeah, so that's pretty much.

That's the genesis in the beginning.

That's your origin.

Yeah.

And then you get pregnant a bunch of times.

I am.

Well, I had a miscarriage first.

Yeah.

Right.

1999.

We're going to my school to feed some orphans.

And then on.

I miscarried.

Didn't know I was pregnant.

Kind of knew.

No, it was like a one month, two months.

But, yeah, miscarried on the way, and then that was challenging.

And so on the way back, we're just.

Well, we.

We did what we did over there in Mexico.

We fed the orphans and spent time with them, played with them.

Yeah.

Came back and then quit my teaching job.

And as soon as I quit, maybe a month later, conceived with our first one.

Yeah.

25 years ago.

And so at that point, it was three years after y' all got married.

Yes.

Just about yesterday.

Just about.

Yeah.

Two got pregnant.

Yeah.

Two years.

Two years.

I can see with Judah.

Yeah.

Judah was born November, and then our third anniversary was March.

Yeah.

Wow.

And then 14 months later.

Me, 14 months later.

Jer.

And then 18.

18 months.

So every 14 months, I was giving birth.

Oh, my goodness.

We're March 98.

Judah K.

And then after that, and then 20 months apart.

Number three.

Number four.

And.

But you know what?

I wouldn't change a thing.

It was just God's plan.

How did you guys enjoy that?

Like, the.

Like, being close in age?

Oh, I love.

I love it.

And I loved it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You still do.

Yes.

I actually.

I just saw an Instagram video, and it was.

It was of two, like, little girls, and they were like, this is the greatest gift my parents could have ever given me.

Just like having siblings by your side.

Yeah.

And so growing up with that, it was so fun.

Our house was always loud because there was four of us all around the same age.

Like, there's always something to do, something happening.

Yes.

And so I can't imagine, obviously, my life any other way.

But, yeah, I love that y' all had us close in age and that there's so many of us.

And then we homeschooled y' all.

Yeah.

So then we were homeschooled until I was 11.

So we were just always spending time with each other, making videos with each other, like, reenacting movies.

Like, we were just constantly.

A lot of time with your cousins, too.

Birthday parties.

Oh, yeah.

That was a big part of our child.

So growing up with each other and then growing up with our cousins.

Same age.

Yeah, all the same.

How many first cousins are.

20.

Something on our side.

With the same mom's side?

No, but the ones we hang hung out with.

That are your age.

Yeah.

Yeah, that are my age.

So then on Mom's side, there's 20 more.

25.

Yeah.

But there was, like, 15 of y' all that are around the same age.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So, like, my generation, Gen Z, I guess there was a bunch of us.

So y' all Oz and siblings.

Because actually, again, fun fact you had growing up, it was.

It was you and seven other siblings.

You and seven other siblings.

So it's crazy.

Yeah.

However, on my side, my siblings were older, so they're out of the house.

It was just me and my little sister, Brenda.

Yeah.

So it felt like it was just two of us in the house.

Yeah.

And on your side, it was different.

Yeah.

On my side, I'm part of the older group.

Yeah.

So it's interesting because you're part of the older batch, and you're you.

And I'm seven of eight.

You're the baby.

Yes.

So they're the spoiled ones.

Yes, spoiled according to our older siblings.

And if you're an older sibling, you understand that.

Exactly what that means.

Yeah.

But, yeah, so I loved it.

It was just.

I just have good memories growing up, and you always took us to, like, Six Flags and stuff.

And it's an interesting dynamic because it.

During this whole time we're homeschooling, you guys, we're still, you know, we started a church.

Yeah.

And then there's birthday parties, and your cousins.

Your cousins all go to school.

And, you know, your cousins don't necessarily all go to church.

So how was that for you guys.

Being, I guess, different, quote, unquote.

Yeah.

So obviously for me, it was more of a desire that I had because I saw them going to school and stuff.

But.

Yeah, so it was just different in that way, like hearing them talk about it and stuff.

And.

Yeah.

And so how.

You were 11 when you went to school for the first time?

Yeah, we talked about it last week.

Yeah.

So, yeah, 11 years old.

And then I told him.

I talked with dad about it, and then we started going to school, which is crazy to think about, but.

Yeah.

So cousins always grew up in school, and then they didn't really go to church as much.

So we ended up creating, like, we had our own church family and church friends.

Yeah.

That we grew up with.

Yes.

And so we would have birthday parties, us four, and everyone would show up the church.

It was Yalls families.

And so there was just a lot of people.

We had a lot of different groups, you know, in our church.

A lot of people, I think, in church did have a hand, like, in raising us also.

Right.

Those people that were there for us.

Yes.

And so.

Yeah.

And I remember, like, being at church and some of the cousins would go, and in my mind, I was like, whoa, this is crazy, because it's like two worlds colliding.

Yep.

But, yeah, and just like, obviously y' all were dealing with ministry and the adult things of ministry, but for us, we were just always having a good time.

Yeah, it was always fun.

Yeah.

We were just playing around constantly.

It was just fun church.

We had our church conferences.

You guys were there, you know, playing afterwards, we had to talk to the pastors and their wives and.

And that was the thing.

Post church or post service, post conference, fellowship happened.

Always.

Yeah.

And so we always knew.

It took.

In my mind, it took forever.

I don't know how long, but all I knew.

All the adults are talking, so we all just play.

We play until you're done.

And you Say, okay, we're leaving, and we're not actually leaving for the best.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So it was.

Oh, go ahead.

Yeah, it was amazing.

I would, I wouldn't change a thing.

Yeah.

You know, I was thinking maybe if we had more money, but, you know, I wouldn't change a thing.

Yeah, I, I think it was, it was wonderful seeing y' all grow up and interact with not just your church friends, but then your family, your cousins.

And then when y' all developed school friends.

Oh, my gosh.

Yeah.

That's what I love.

Then they started coming over it.

Our house.

It seemed to always be like the, the hub for everybody.

The neighborhood home, where they spending the night.

Birthday party.

Yeah.

Yes, I remember.

So, yeah, when we were younger, it was our church friends and our cousins.

And then we get into school and more high school people are just always coming over to the house.

So.

Yeah, y' all, y' all, y' all had our doors open always for everyone.

Yeah.

Our door was not locked.

It was not like, remember Byron?

Byron would leave and come back.

Yes.

And I appreciate that so much about y' all as our parents, because a lot of friends or anyone I knew, their house maybe wasn't like that just because, you know, the parents didn't want a bunch of kids running around in their house.

And y' all always said yes.

Like, y' all never said no.

I'm, I'm not kidding.

I don't remember a moment y' all ever said no to having people over.

Yeah.

So I was always appreciated.

Yeah.

It's the Christian thing to do, I guess, to love everyone.

And a lot of those kids, they just, they felt, I, I think they felt God's presence there, God's love.

And they loved you guys and love spending time there, you know?

Yeah, I, I, I, I will say that's true.

Because a lot of friends and cousins, too, they always say, like, it feels different here at Yalls house.

And I know it's God's love and like, the peace that's in the house because a lot of them, you know, maybe their homes are more broken or chaotic, and our family is chaotic, but I guess in a different way.

And so, yeah, I knew a lot of our friends saw that and they saw how y' all interacted too, as, like mom and dad.

So that was something different for them too.

True.

And thought of that.

Yeah.

Maybe it's something they would want in their life, their future.

Yeah.

Well, you know, one of the things that I've always said at church, I said, you have to live your Life.

Right.

You know, like the Bible says, live such good lives that when people talk about you, they'll be ashamed.

And I think, you know, adding to that, I would say you may be the only Bible people ever read.

Yeah.

Your lifestyle, what you do.

So it's not a matter of just preaching a good message or teaching a good principle.

It's actually living it.

Yeah.

You know, so in the midst of all of that, you know, we have marriage going on, ministry going on, children going on school events, like a ton of them for you guys.

Yeah.

You know, and.

And all this continues to.

To build and to, you know, each one offers a different aspect of a challenge.

Yeah.

Opportunity to grow.

Yeah.

And, you know, for example, our house ministry.

We weren't rich.

Yeah.

You know, so there was struggles, financial struggles within the house, but then there's financial struggles within the church.

Yeah.

And then there's financial obligations for you guys.

For school.

For school.

Just a ton of stuff.

Band fees, orchestra fees, trips.

But not only that, family.

Our parents started to get sick and.

Yeah, my mom needed heart surgery.

And, you know, I was thinking about why.

Why we never moved.

And I was.

I told dad, I said, maybe it was because grandma, you know, she got sick and then she needed stints in her heart.

And so I wanted to be here.

So something always came up.

Yeah.

And then your dad, you know, just.

I wanted.

We wanted to be here for our parents.

So in essence, it was never really a good time to move.

But, yeah, life just hits you.

But in the midst of all of those challenges, we still have to live.

We still have to live our life.

It's felt like I cannot sacrifice my family for the sake of minutes.

Yeah.

Because I have seen it, you know, many.

We've talked in other episodes about children that grew up in ministry and how they rebel and.

And there's good reason for it.

Know, you.

You grew up in it.

There's people leaving, people, you know, the struggles, financial struggles and stuff like that.

And maybe mom and dad change in the midst of that.

Question is h.

How did you see, like, mom and dad?

Why.

Why wouldn't you guys, like, rebel?

Cuz you guys saw all the challenges.

And how many Christmases did we spend in January, you know, because of.

So, you know, what did you.

What did y' all see that.

That's always been a question.

That's.

That I've wanted to ask of why I didn't rebel.

Yeah.

Like, what did you guys see in mom and me through ministry?

Like, you know, you're hearing mom and dad teach and preach about how to live a life.

Yeah.

And then behind the pulpit, you know, maybe those things don't correspond or.

How did you guys see us?

Yeah, a lot of time we just saw y' all, I guess the financial struggle is a lot.

And like you said, certain Christmases, we didn't actually get on Christmas.

And because y' all were.

Y' all were doing yalls best to be able to, you know, get gifts for cousins or your siblings or whatever it was.

And so a lot of the time with us, you know, it ended up being, for example, Christmas, having to get our gifts later on with your student loans.

And so, yeah, we saw a lot of those struggles, you know, preaching and preaching faith and things like that at home.

You know, y' all are trying to live it out, but it was obviously really challenging having to be there in all those different aspects of yalls lives.

So, yeah, we saw a lot of that.

And.

But I will say, like, what y' all did preach and live out at the church, it.

It translated back at home, you know, so the way y' all were acting, being very loving and kind to others is the exact same way y' all were with us.

Y' all always had a very, I guess, open heart, like, for us.

Y' all always made sure, like, y' all can always talk to us.

That's what y' all would always say to us.

I can always talk.

I never want to, like, make it seem like you can't talk to me about something.

So y' all always emphasize that, too, and.

Yeah, yeah.

I think it's for families, you know, especially if you're in ministry, it's very important to.

To always set your family time aside.

We.

We talked about last week about studying and, you know, how I would go at night to study, but mom was doing the same thing.

Yeah.

So, mom, you were obviously our mom, so you were doing, like, all.

Everything, like.

So how was that?

You know, trying to.

Going through the masters.

Yeah, going through the masters when you.

Were little, I remember, you know, of course, you're physically tired.

I was in my 30s when you guys are little.

I wasn't in my 20s, but yeah.

Yeah.

I just always had something to do.

I never had time to stop and, like, feel sorry for myself.

Always praying and going to church, praying God would give me strength, and he did.

And having peace and joy and just continuing on.

Then when I started my master's, you guys were a little older, but still young, so I would have to study at night, do my homework at night, you know, after y' all were in bed and.

But I enjoyed my graduate studies, you know, more than my bachelor's, so, yeah, I.

I really enjoyed it.

So I look forward to studying and doing my homework at night.

And dad helped me out, you know, with a few things, too, like, I guess, like how to study or just different ways to approach it, and.

Yeah, so I enjoyed it.

He encouraged me to get my master's.

Just do it, you know, Time's gonna go by.

What's it gonna hurt?

It's true.

So I did got my master's, and when I crossed the stage, it was.

It was an awesome feeling.

It was cold that day.

Yeah.

In Virginia.

So under my gown, I had to wear jackets.

I looked really big under my gown, but it was cold.

I didn't care.

But seeing my husband and my children in the audience made it worth it.

Like, it was just y' all being there made it, you know, I loved that y' all were able to experience that.

Yeah.

And it was a big accomplishment for me.

And then.

Yeah, just going through that.

It was.

And then you had.

It was right around the time you guys entered school.

Yes.

I was about to sit here when.

We came back from that trip.

That trip.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Entered school.

And that was another big adventure, I remember.

And that was fun.

I just looked back, and it was a lot.

We were busy, but it was fun because you guys were having fun.

I enjoyed it.

I remember every school year because all four of us were enrolled at once.

You would on the first day of school, okay, hand me all those papers.

And you would have, like, a mini stack of papers where you just had to sign.

We were just signing.

Yeah.

Because y' all had.

From different teachers.

You signed the boys, I signed the.

Girls, and I said, leave it on my desk, and, okay, what supplies do you need?

So I had to be very organized.

During, like, our teenage years.

And so, like you said, dad, like, you all were emphasizing, you know, we need to live.

Right.

But obviously we're growing up.

And so how is that?

Because there was a difference in your parenting, dad versus mom's parenting.

So how is it different?

How's it different?

Yeah.

Yeah.

So I.

I mean, I guess the way y' all interacted with.

With us, so Yalls parenting stay the same, I guess.

But maybe the way y' all did.

Communicated.

Communicated.

Yes.

And so, dad, with me, again, this goes back to being one of the older ones.

The younger ones are spoiled.

So I was kind of like the guinea pig in a lot of Ways for, like, high school events and stuff.

So asking you for things, I remember, was a little bit more of a challenge because you were, like.

It was very strict.

You were figuring it out, too.

Yeah.

You were figuring out the balance of, like, living right versus, like, okay, what can she do?

She can be responsible, doing.

But, yeah, it was always very.

You.

Intimidating.

Yeah, it was intimidating.

And so with mom in that regard, Mom, I could always go to her and tell her.

I remember, Mom.

Remember in high school, I was always like, dad is not letting me go to this.

Like, I would.

I would rant to you, basically, or vent to you.

Yeah.

And so that was.

The difference is you.

You were very understanding, trying to, you know, like, just let me go hang out with my friends and stuff.

And so that was.

And at least for high school things, but for things with, I don't know, like, arguments and stuff.

Me and you, mom, we would.

We would argue.

We had a few arguments.

Yes.

Whereas me and dad, it was.

It was different.

We had conversation.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Sometimes.

Yeah.

Or maybe we just didn't.

I don't know.

Me and mom just butted head more at times.

Well, they say the ones who you're similar with in personality, but heads with.

Yes.

So same with dads, you know.

Yes, exactly.

You see it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So me and mom, we're very similar.

I get a lot of my things from mom, and so.

Yeah, those are just some of the ways that y' all would parent us.

Yeah.

But, yeah, it was a.

You know, you feel like with your mom, you can always go to her and talk about it.

Yeah.

I think it's.

It was a measure of fear with dad.

You guys were afraid to go to him sometimes, and I was a buffer.

Like, it was easier to talk.

It was the same dynamic, was.

I mean.

No, you weren't mean.

Yeah.

But you were the father figure.

You were the.

It was just naturally more intimidating, and mom has the more nurturing vibe.

That was the same with my parents.

Yeah.

I think with your parents, you talk to your mom a lot more than your dad.

But in yalls parenting, neither of y' all were me.

It was just different.

It was.

Yeah.

Y' all had yalls differences, so that's my experience, obviously, my siblings.

How is it having a dad as a pastor?

Oh, yeah, That's a whole other aspect.

Yeah.

Imagine.

Yeah.

I never had to go through that.

Yes.

You know, it was especially, you know.

High school with your friend.

Yeah.

A lot of.

Anytime I told anyone, they were always like, what?

Your dad's a pastor?

Like, okay.

And I would always feel, like, embarrassed about it, to be honest, being transparent.

But, you know, in high school, you're embarrassed.

You're embarrassed of everything in high school.

Like, yeah.

As a teenager, especially your parents, Right.

Yes.

And maybe sometimes family, siblings.

It's like, anything can be embarrassing in high school.

So that was.

That was my experience in high school with that.

But they always thought you were, like, really cool, and I.

It seemed like they always just kind of wanted to ask you questions and things like that.

So, yeah, that was a whole different aspect.

And because they knew I was a pastor's kid, it was always kind of like a little joke, you know, Like, I always behaved and, like, things like that.

You're the good one.

Yes.

And I, to this day, I never have cussed.

That's just not something that was a struggle of mine.

And a lot of my friends did, and so they would, you know, poke fun and stuff.

But, yeah, I remember having a ton of conversations with.

With the.

All friends.

Yeah.

Just different things.

It not only, like, personal stuff, like, you know, what do I do about this or the other, but.

But just in general, like, education, like, what do I do about my future?

I'm thinking of this.

I'm thinking of the other.

You know, I.

This happened with mom.

This happened with that.

Right.

It was all kinds of things like that.

And then mom, the difference with you is that you knew a lot of them.

You knew a lot of their names.

Like, they knew you very well because, you know, a carpool, like, you would.

You would see our friends more than.

Yeah.

I would also share, you know, oh, my friend this.

So I would, like.

I would really make an effort to remember their names because I wanted them to feel like I.

No, I wanted them to feel like they were special or like, yeah, wow, she remembered my name, like, you know.

Yes.

So, yeah, I just think it's.

I try and put myself in their shoes.

Yes.

I remembered a couple of them.

Yeah.

And so the joke is that maybe.

One or two or three.

Yeah.

Dad doesn't.

You saw them fairly often, but the names, you just don't remember.

No, I just said Jody's friend or Judah's friend.

We thought it was neat because we grew up in church.

That was our life.

When yalls friends would call us Ms.

Rodriguez or Mr.

Rodriguez, I'm like, oh, that's different.

Yeah.

But the cuter one for me was Jody's mom, Jody's dad.

Like, that was so cute to me, you know, because at church, we're like, pastor or, you know, Mrs.

Ruby, whatever.

They would call me a pastora.

And so it was different.

I liked it.

It was.

It's a whole other world.

Two different worlds.

Two different worlds.

So that's what it kind of felt like being at church on Sundays.

And then when we were younger, obviously Wednesdays are Thursdays.

And then having.

And then we go to school.

Like living in two different worlds.

It's crazy.

Yeah.

You know, the.

I think, you know, in my mind, I was thinking, and if we send them to school, they're going to have such a hard time because I'm a product of, you know, the public school and.

Right.

And.

And more.

So I'm a product of the inner city school.

Yeah.

Which is quite a bit different.

Right.

You know, and I remember having Christian acquaintances in school and what a hard time I gave them.

Me.

Right.

Oh, so you thought we kind of had like a target on.

Yes.

You know, so it was refreshing for me to see kids that aren't necessarily in church, but they're not like ugly kids, like bad kids.

Yes.

I was going to say a lot of them weren't in church, but they were the kindest people, you know, just very welcoming, very outgoing.

Yeah.

It was a nice neighborhood.

Yes.

And very open, you know, to.

To discussions.

Just, you know, we.

We just talked it.

And it was bad in a sense, because I didn't realize how many broken families were out there.

And most of your friends.

All of them had broken families.

Yeah, a lot of them.

So it doesn't really matter.

The economic.

If you're in a poor neighborhood or rich, problems are still the same.

Yeah.

Different neighborhoods.

Yeah.

It goes across all different kinds of economic statuses.

And I was going to say a lot of them are.

Yeah.

A lot of their parents are divorced and things like that.

So that must have been different for y' all because we kind of.

I mean, y' all have seen a lot in the church, but we had people we would see regularly on Sundays, so being exposed to a whole other side of things.

Right.

And y' all have heard stories from us about different friends and things they've gone through.

It's horrible.

I mean, it's heartbreaking.

Yeah.

And.

But, you know, I think this is probably a good.

It was for us anyways.

We.

We made it into a good opportunity to share Jesus in a non.

Practical.

I guess.

Yeah.

You know what?

I would.

It kind of makes me think of that we were kind of in our little bubble of church and family, and so this was all of us, all six of us, our way of stepping out into the world.

You know what I mean?

Like, we were.

I feel like we're under, like, a little shield or something.

And then going to public school, you're just exposed.

Yeah.

So.

Yeah.

But I feel like we.

We talked about, like, what if they get enticed or they do things they're not supposed to.

But we knew that y' all had a good foundation.

We.

You had a firm foundation.

Yeah.

Not just with homeschooling, but with God.

You know, y' all had the Bible foundation, and we were secure that God was going to watch over y' all.

And we wanted an open.

We wanted open lines of communication.

Yeah.

Like, if there was ever anything that you guys did wrong.

Yeah.

I.

You know, I kind of tried to bend over backwards saying, you know, just.

I don't care.

Just call me.

Yeah.

You know, I don't want you to make a bad thing worse.

Yeah.

And even if we did, because, of course, like, we make mistakes.

So in high school, when that would happen or whatever it was now, you know, we always come back to God.

You know, even if we're.

We have strayed, we always end up back, you know, but because of that solid foundation that we had just growing up and then making our own decisions there.

And another thing, too, is y' all were both subs.

I was wondering if she was gonna bring that up.

Y' all were both substitute teachers.

And for me.

For me, I had a big problem with it.

Yes.

I did not like it.

Again, because in high school, everything embarrasses you, and so I would say.

I don't.

Yeah.

She would walk like, no, no.

Because.

Yes.

If you had been in high school.

Anyone has been in high school.

You understand?

Yeah.

And so y' all were.

Y' all decided to become substitutes.

So why, like, why did y' all.

Well, I started in 20.

But I was in elementary school because I was an elementary teacher.

So I was just doing elementary, sometimes middle school.

And then dad decided to sub a year or two later, and he was at the high school.

He's like, you should try it.

You'll like it.

I'm like, no, high school.

That's not my thing.

And then the lady in charge of subs was wonderful.

And shout out Ms.

Martha.

Yeah.

She was great.

So it was easy to go to work.

And I.

We just were trying to buy a house, like, okay.

I'll just say, because we need to work.

The biggest.

I think the biggest motivation wasn't so much that you guys.

We're in School.

It was that we.

We needed another source of.

Of income, and the schedule was great because y' all still needed a ride home.

You still, you know, they worked out great for someone to be home when y' all got home from school.

You know, things like that.

I.

I was about to say it makes so much sense because y' all just take us to school with y' all and then we leave together.

So having as many kids as y' all did, it was just.

It kind of made sense.

Yeah, it worked out.

Yeah.

I just had to bring that up because now we're both here and we're talking about.

But, you know, their friends seem to like the fact that we were there more than our own kids.

Yes.

Yeah.

Because they're our friends, right?

Like, they're gonna, like, laugh about it or whatever.

We're not their parent.

Yeah, exactly.

Oh, but we took everybody, like, we need it, right?

Remember the van?

Gracie, Alexa, Byron, Jonah.

I remember the first day of my junior year of high school.

Judah was old enough to drive.

Yeah.

It was the first year that he drove.

Yeah.

You.

You took a picture of us in the living room at our house.

Because this was all our neighborhood friends.

Yes.

And so we.

They all came over for, like, breakfast, and then we just.

We all drove to school together.

It was crazy.

Yes.

I had, like, nine kids, I think, at the.

At the house, something like that.

We did.

Yeah.

Yeah, we.

We had late night, and then we were making breakfast for y' all every first day of the year.

So.

Yes, it was, you know, it.

But again, you know, it gave us an opportunity to.

To share Jesus with people without.

You.

Know, shoving the Bible down her throat.

Yeah.

You know, it was more of a life lifestyle type of evangelism, I guess.

Yeah, that's exactly what it was.

And that's a lot of evangelism should be.

Is like your life and how you're living it.

And so I believe a lot of our friends saw how y' all were and saw how all of us as a family was and really got to maybe feel Jesus or see Jesus through our lives.

Yeah.

I remember some of them saying, even your adult friends here recently, last few years, where they either didn't want to get married or they didn't want to have children.

Yeah, they didn't want a big family.

And then being around us, oh, maybe having a big family in church is cool.

And.

Yeah, so we.

That's our prayer, is that we impacted positively some people on this earth.

I really hope we did, you know, because that.

That was such a Big part of all of our lives.

It was there in high school.

So those four, seven high school years.

Yeah.

Were.

Were pretty amazing.

You know, the.

I think it allowed our family as a whole to grow.

Yeah.

Grow.

Not.

Not just a collective, but individually, spiritually.

Yes.

Our walk really improved and enhanced, and then it continued into right after high school, because then you went to work at Starbucks and.

Yeah, and I was like, you know, Starbucks, you know, I.

I didn't think that you should be working there.

And you know what's funny is I never knew that Starbucks had a sort of reputation, I guess.

Yeah.

I didn't know that when I applied.

I had no idea.

So thinking back now, I'm like, oh, it's so interesting.

Your first job was Cane.

Yeah.

To Starbucks.

So just even that, like, we had a lot of firsts with you guys.

Your first jobs.

Driving.

Driving.

Yeah.

Just different things.

A lot of firsts.

And going on your trip, the orchestra to Disney World.

It was just a lot of first that.

You just really have to, like, trust.

God to take care of him and I think to help y' all grow, too, like, in that way, like us going to Disney World and things like that.

More independence, I guess.

But again, yeah.

All these ways to be able to share Jesus through what we're doing and.

Because when you started Starbucks, then you made new friends.

Yeah.

That weren't necessarily, like, high school friends.

Yeah.

You know, these were different.

Different people.

And shout out to all of them.

I love all of them.

Me and Ange.

Shout out to Ange.

But then they found out that you were a pastor.

Yeah, but I was gonna say me and.

And we still see.

Hang out with some of them to this day.

But.

Yeah.

So one day they found out that I was a pastor's kid, and, oh, from that moment, it was, like, over.

It was, like, constant jokes, you know, just completely different environment.

But they all knew.

They're like, oh, makes sense.

Like, you're so nice, and you never get impatient with customers, which is not true.

Keep it inside.

Right.

But they knew that the way I.

I guess walked and the way I acted, you know.

Yeah, it was a difference, but.

And, you know, your witness to them was able to bring a couple of them to.

To faith.

Yeah.

You know, that.

That.

Zilla, we love you.

But.

Yeah.

So it's amazing, you know, just the.

How if you.

If you are intentional in your walk with God every day, you really don't need to be throwing scripture at people.

Yeah.

You know, you can just love people into the kingdom.

We mentioned in One of our other podcasts that How Love Covers a Multitude of Sins.

Yeah.

And I believe that's happened, you know, with people at Starbucks, but anyone that I've met and seen them go to church or get more in their faith.

It's the love.

It's love.

Exactly.

I even got a message from one of my friends, and I.

It's the one where I went to her graduation recently, and she's getting closer to God, and she texted me in August, and she was like, you're the only person I know that is, like, in church and is, like, really reads her Bible.

So she messaged me, you know, and so it's.

It's little moments like that.

Exactly.

I.

I wasn't shoving scripture down her throat, like, our whole friendship, but she knew I was a Christian, and it was until that moment where she felt convicted and, okay, I'm going to talk.