In this episode, Mike tells us about the HMS Terror and its ill-fated expedition into the Northwest passage in the Canadian arctic. He also tells us about ice mummies, and the circumstances behind their creation.

We also talk about future telepathy, the fall of Twitter and capitalism, and everyone's favourite topic – cannibalism.

Here's a rundown of the episode:

00:28 - Hello!

01:01 - Presented Piece - HMS Terror and Ice Mummies

13:34 - Discussion

46:56 - Where You Can Find Us Online

51:29 - Bye

Total Runtime: 52:11

Links:

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Our Links

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Thanks! See you next time - Mike and Zoe.

Hello.

That was a weird Australian.

are you Australian?

Hello?

Oh, hello.

Good.

A Hello

friends.

Not Food

swim away.

His story's a strangeness.

already

already.

It's an episode.

Hold on.

I've already said this.

56.

Yeah.

Now the even numbers are gonna be Mike episodes things up a bit.

Yeah.

Cause we did our Halloween episode where we both presented

a bit and now it's my turn

confused.

Yeah.

Okay.

So yeah, it's you.

Do a thing.

Okay.

John Torrington was born in 1825 and oddly still looks pretty good for his age.

Huh?

In fact, his corpse is a.

Despite being thousands of miles away from Egypt and thousands of years after

the reign of the Pharaohs on May the 19th, 1845, John was a member of the

expedition to discover a way through the Northwest passage in the Canadian

Arctic led by Sir John Franklin.

The passage had already been charted from the east and west, but never entirely.

The expedition was planned to last three years, and the ships were fitted with

steam engines, the first Royal Navy ships to have them along with screw propellers.

Iron plating was fitted for and aft on the holes to help them break through

pack ice and the decks were cross planked to help to distribute impact

This was Franklin's second attempt at the harsh Tundra after a failed attempt

in 1819 where he barely survived.

By eating the bodies of his fallen comrades

somehow undeterred by the possibility of a second course of cannibalism.

So John decided to go back.

Franklin was 59 at the beginning of the second expedition, during

which spoilers all of his crew would be lost to the bitter environment

or his tummy.

I think he was looking for a second course.

A long

Yeah, that's

what exactly

what I was gonna say.

I'm like, he didn't care about the expedition.

He was just hungry.

Sorry.

Actually

little is known about the fate of the men that marched into the White

see,

or indeed the two ships he took.

The HMS Aribus named after the Primal God of Darkness and Son of Chaos.

And wait for it.

The second ship, the HMS Terror which

kind of speaks for itself.

Really

Yeah, I know.

Still so much confidence

Honestly.

Going to the Arctic on ships named Terra and Darkness seems kind of like asking for

trouble, but it makes for a good story.

Yes.

Well it is

Little documentation was ever found about the plight of the ships or its crew.

Probably because nobody really fancied, retracing their steps

into an almost certain death.

At least not for a while.

Anyway, John Torrington might be considered one of the lucky

ones in a grim kind of way.

Before the expedition reached what they assumed to be the mouth of the northwest

passage, John fell ill with pneumonia, which was made much worse by the fact

that their food on the trip came from tinned meat and the tins were in fact

made of lead, which led to lead poisoning.

Oh gosh.

Torrington died before the rest of the expedition vanished, and they inured

John's body into the frigid permafrost nearly five feet down on Beachy Island.

Darlington's body was not discovered until 1984 by investigators looking

into the Franklin Expedition, and he was disinter with the blessing of his family.

Remarkably, John looked eerily similar to the day he had been

laid to rest over a century before.

Oh my God.

His eyes though lifeless retained their milky blue.

His skin was yellowed and bruised, but decomposition had barely touched him.

He looked almost entirely intact, as did fellow Sailor John Hartnell buried

nearby, who still sported a chin full of stubble and long black hair.

Tissue samples were taken, and then both Johns were put back into the

permafrost and remained there to this day.

Really?

Oh my goodness.

The samples helped to confirm lead poisoning and added a few more pieces

to the puzzle On September the 12th, 2016, the Arctic Research Foundation

and announced the discovery of the HMS Terror in none of its Terra Bay off the

southwest coast of King William Island.

Can Sorry, The, the Boat Terra was found in Terra Bay.

Yeah, I,

I

think I remember reading that it was, The Bay was renamed cuz it

was called something else in honor

of

the, Okay.

Cause I was gonna say it's coincidence.

Yeah.

What

What are the odds?

Yeah.

Off the southwest coast of King William Island, it was about 57 miles, 92

kilometers south of where it had been reported abandoned, and 31 miles, 50

kilometers from the wreck of the abus, which had been discovered in 2014.

The ships had been last seen entering Bathin Bay in August, 1845.

A massive search effort was undertaken and during expeditions between 1848 and 1866,

it was discerned that the men were lost, if not the details of their ordeals.

Both ships had become icebound and were summarily abandoned, leaving

their crews to succumb to exposure and starvation while trying to trek

overland to fort resolution an outpost.

600 miles Southwest.

Holy shit

I think the odds were ever not in their favor.

Sadly,

subsequent expeditions confirmed the oral reports of the local Inuits

that some of the crew resorted to cannibalism as evidenced by cut

marks on the skeletal remains of crew found on King William Island.

The British government gave up the shipwrecks to the Canadian government

who designated them as a national historic site of Canada and hid

their exact locations to deter, looting and help preserve them.

In fact, the ship was remarkably intact and evidence of ANCA usage

suggests that possibly some of the crew had tried to reman her and sail.

In 2018, the RES were gifted to the care of the Inuit Heritage Trust,

including all remaining artifacts.

Since then, the rec has been successfully 3D mapped and the

interior searched with ROVs.

A 2007 novel, The Terror by Dan Simmons tells a fictionalized account of the Lost

Expedition where the crew have to not only contend with freezing temperatures, hunger

and illness, but are also being stalked across the ice by a wear polar there

Where polar no a wear

of it Yeah.

The novel was made into a TV series in 2018 featuring Jared

Harris as Captain Crozier.

Yeah.

Jared Harris.

He's the guy from

The Expanse.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And lots of other

And lots of other things.

He's good.

Yes, he's very good.

Yeah.

We should watch it.

Okay.

I want to see a wear bear.

Okay, fine.

, but John Torrington is not the only well preserved body found in the ice.

There's also u.

From the Troian Alps on the Austrian Italian border, found in 1991 by

a German couple and said to be the holy grail of glacial archeology.

When Ursi was discovered, it was not apparent how old he was in part

due to the incredible preservation and also because people weren't

aware that bodies could be so well preserved for such long periods of.

It had been a warm summer and other more recent bodies had

been discovered in the thaw.

Apparently, if you go hiking in the Alps, there is a chance

you'll just stumble over a

Yeah, I've, I've heard

frozen body,

And

you know, bones and

And you don't know how old they are.

So some people are like, Oh, we won't report that because

it's probably been seen before.

Yeah.

And other people are like, Oh my God, oh my God.

Oh no.

That's been there for hundreds of years.

We know about

it.

So

do you know

if you want to get away with murder, kill somebody in the

Alps or a high mountain range?

Yeah.

Leave the body up there.

Maybe put it in mountaineering gear or something and then Yeah, there you go.

There's, there's a, a meme that always makes me laugh when it

pops up in my feed that just.

All the bodies on Mount Everest were once extremely motivated climbers.

So maybe just chill out a bit.

Yes.

Once Uy was properly identified in part due to the copper acts with

him, he was found to be 5,300 years.

moly.

And

his find became a media sensation.

And I

remember

I remember that.

Cuz it was like, Wow.

Yeah, because didn't he still have some of his food in his

stomach and stuff like that?

They

could, Same with John Torrington he did as well.

That's how they found out he had lead poisoning.

Yeah.

Currently 250,000 people visit the museum in Bolzano, where Uy is exhibited every.

several

conditions need to be met For someone to become an ice mummy after death, they have

to be lost, so therefore aren't recovered.

For a proper burial, the person would have to die on non-moving ice,

which allows the ice to preserve the body without crushing it.

And lastly, the body would have to stay on the surface for initial freeze

drying before being encapsulated,

all while not being found by scavengers.

So it's actually quite uncommon.

The most critical aspect is the freeze drying as without this

decomposition would continue under the ice, which has been demonstrated

by the bodies of World War I soldiers from the White War battlefields in.

So these bodies are skeletonized with scattered bones, not ice mummies.

This is due to them having been inside moving glaciers, which

Pulver rises the remains and occasionally exposes them to the.

Archeologist, Conrad Spindler from Innsbrook took charge of the

investigation of Uy, believing that he had fled across the mountains from

the south in late summer or autumn.

Part of the reason they, they thought it was that particular period is due to some

of the flex of grain on his clothing.

And also a, there was some kind of like fruit, like a crab apple, or not

a crab apple, but something like that.

Yeah.

Basically they were like, well, those like ripen at the end of summer, and

the grain suggests kind of harvest

Yeah.

Some of O'S equipment including a backpack, a bow, and a quiver, showed

signs of damage in a violent encounter.

Uy then died in a snow free gully near a pass.

He freeze dried, and then the snow fell and buried the site in its artifacts.

Later, a glacier covered the area and kept Uy hidden and

preserved for thousands of years.

Spiner's interpretation was not unanimously accepted by his

peers, but remains the official account of his story to this day.

Apart from the discovery in 2003 of an arrowhead embedded in his

shoulder, which shifted the cause of death from hypothermia to murder.

Dun Dun.

Along with Uy, there have been other Ice Mummy fines, partly mummified remains

and artifacts were found on a glacier on a mountain in British Columbia in 1999.

The mummified person was called Cue.

Dan Cici.

I have probably butchered that, but I apologize by the local First

Nations people, which translates as the long ago person found.

Radiocarbon dating showed that they died between 1720 and 1850.

Current era.

Also, a large number of permafrost graves belonging to European

explorers and Wailers have been discovered in the Arctic.

Despite not being found in glaciers, the permafrost kept

them in pristine conditions.

Additionally,

people of the PA culture from the Al Mountains of Russia and Mongolia were

buried in wooden chambers that were then covered with large cans of stone.

The Cairns produced a cooling effect leading to permafrost forming

below and preserving the bodies, some of which date back to the

third and fourth centuries bce.

Some of the bodies discovered still had preserved skin

complete with elaborate tattoos.

Children sacrificed by the Aztecs have also been found on high mountain

tops in the Andes, having been freeze dried by the environment.

And Inuit mummies have been discovered in Graves, made in

rock shelters in Greenland.

So it seems if you wish to achieve immortality of a sort, your best bet

is to be freeze dried in permafrost for scientists in the future to puzzle

over you and the strange artifacts you.

Well, Mi seems very interested by that.

Yeah, absolutely.

Um I have a a kind of a

Mm-hmm a kind of a

thought, a kind of a

thought, not kind of a proper thought.

it's just

it's a the starting of a So these people have been pretty much.

Completely, properly preserved.

How are they any different from the people who go into those like cryogenic, Freezy?

Doar.

Okay.

Will they be able to be brought back to life?

When, when like, you know,

when science kind of

science.

Catches up.

Like those people in those pods, I mean, some of those people,

they only freeze their heads.

Yes.

And they seem to think that they'll be able, So why not old?

What's his face from the mountain top or ugma flip with lead

Yeah.

Well I think if you've suffered lead poisoning the

body basically can't recover.

So.

Well how do you in the, in the

Well, in the

the future, in the future, anything is possible

In the future, possibly.

Who knows?

I mean, that would be an incredible thing, wouldn't it?

If you could bring back Zy

from Yeah that's what I

5,000 years ago now and however long in the future it takes

to be able to do it, and then they just kind of rehydrate him and

and He's

like, Ah.

Yeah.

he's, Oh, someone just fired hour at me.

me.

Yeah.

He, he's like, he was dead like 8,000 years ago.

And then of course nobody would understand him.

Probably

Probably True.

is

No, no, Because in the future they'll just be a, they'll, everyone

will have a translator in their we won't communicate with words.

And thoughts will be, you know, universal.

Yeah.

Okay.

I don't know.

I'm making all this up, but surely that's

Yeah, yeah.

I can tell, isn't it?

Is that how the future starts?

Is it So we're avoiding Blade Runner and we're going straight to Rehydrating

What No, the thing is, no.

What I mean

and future

armors, head in jars kind of thing.

the future starts, like any kind of progress starts with a thought or an idea.

So how do you know that hundreds of years from now they'll be like, re

they'll be listening to our podcast.

In their mind, Doar

in their mind.

Do you know what, she hit the nail of the head right there.

Absolutely.

Yes.

I mean, honestly, if you think this podcast is gonna be around,

then

Agnes Nut has got nothing on me.

Agnes, you'll have to remind me.

So wasn't she?

The the witch that prophesized everything.

Good

Oh, I dunno.

I can't.

can't remember what,

I can't remember.

Good os I've never read it and I've only seen it once.

Oh, so I just know that the series two's coming out

out It is.

It is.

And I'm quite

and I found that out because of Neil Gaman on Masteron, cuz I've moved

from Twitter cuz it's a dumpster fire

but I'm like

Have the band not got anything to say about that?

I don't believe so, cuz the band aren't an.

True.

It's a completely different thing.

I'm sorry, but if they suddenly made an app called Metallica, I'm pretty sure.

Yeah.

They'd be like

are famously litigious anyway and have even sued their own fans, which

I

right.

I'm so disappointed in you guys.

but, Alright.

How to make friends and influence

Yeah.

You've just derailed my train of thought.

Now I had something to say and now it's

Was it about Twitter or

Master

Yes, it was about Twitter.

So , so have you seen what's been going on since Elon Musk took over?

Just, no, this is just kind of, we're just riffing anyway, but

this is just current affairs.

Okay.

So Elon Musk bought Twitter for 44 billion, right?

Yeah.

And.

One of his amazing ideas for making the company make money was to make

people buy their verified check marks.

So if you are a celebrity and you are on Twitter, you can get a little check

mark that says, Yes, this is that person.

Okay.

Like little

tick Yeah, that's right to say.

Yeah, this is definitely them.

You are absolutely interacting with whoever.

So

Elon Musk goes, Right, we're gonna make people pay for those.

Stephen King went on Twitter and basically said, I beg your pardon.

You should be paying me

like I'm helping to promote your company and brand.

And by being here, you know, people will come onto Twitter to talk to me.

Yeah.

And he's not wrong.

And he said that $20 a month, no chance.

If they, if they institute that as an actual thing, I'll be gone.

Like Enron was his quote, So Elon Musk tweeted him back directly

and went, Well, we've gotta try and make this thing make money.

How about $8 a And somebody else commented on that

saying,

Twitter is the only place on the planet where you can see

a man worth like 780 billion.

Argue with a man worth 290 million or whatever.

They're both worth over $20 a month, which is hilarious.

Since then, it has gone bad shit.

So basically I, Elon Musk said, right, anybody can buy a blue check mark now.

So now you have an account called Jesus Christ, which is verifi.

Excellent.

Not sure how that would work, but Okay.

Worse than that, there have been a lot of people, cuz the other thing

was he said if you have a parody account that doesn't have parody in

the name, you're gonna get banned.

Right.

Because we don't want people impersonating companies

or

whatever.

So Jesus Christ is okay though.

He's obviously real,

apparently.

So he said, Right, if you don't have parody in the

name, you're gonna get banned.

But he removed the, the, the ability for people to change their names.

So how does that work if you haven't already got parody in your name and you

need it, but you can't change your name?

So the, I believe music artist, cuz I'm not young and I don't

know this stuff anymore.

Don't doja cat.

Is a thing apparently Person, Sorry, I didn't mean Thing is a person that

is an entertainer of some sorts.

Doja Cat went on and went, I can't change my name.

Please help Elon Musk.

And Elon Musk tweeted her back and went, Okay, you should be

able to change your name now.

So she changed her name to Elon Musk and put that picture of him

with the really bad, like hairline, and went Thank you Does she

she get a tick too?

Well,

She's already got a tick cuz she's verified.

But the, the best thing is there's a lot of people have been going on impersonating

companies buying a blue check mark.

So you've got things.

Official Coca-Cola Twitter account apparently saying if

this gets a thousand retweets, we'll put cocaine back into Coke.

Oh my goodness.

somebody impersonated the Tesla car company and.

I'm gonna avoid one of the things they said, cuz it's really not

cool, but it's, it was, Yeah.

Anyway, but they, they basically said we're shipping loads of Teslas

over to Iraq because we are the best moving explosives in the

industry.

Cuz obviously loads of Tesla cars exploded at one point.

Oh gosh

There was somebody put a tweet from Lockheed Martin, the

aerospace and defense contractor.

Yeah.

Except obviously it wasn't Lockheed Martin, but it had a little verified

tick and said we're basically gonna not make weapons anymore.

Kind of Tony Stark style.

Yeah.

And the stock market responded by taking a chunk off their share value.

Worse than that was another company called Eli Lilly that

makes insulin amongst other things.

Yeah.

And obviously Bernie Sanders tweeted something recently that

said it's disgusting that their profiteering off what is an

essential medicine for some people.

And it has gone up by like 270% or something re in since

whenever

Somebody made an Eli Lilly account with a verified check mark and said

basically, insulin is now gonna be free.

30 billion came off their company's share value.

Somebody spent $8 for a verified tick and wiped $30 billion off their

company's share.

So now, could those companies actually sue Elon Musk?

Because he's not, He's got rid of all of his security people,

hasn't he like doing all the

kind of, Yeah.

and say, You have allowed this slander to

happen.

Yeah This,

this is on

This is hilarious because it's basically we're watching the fall of

capitalism in real time on a, a website that's just going absolutely insane.

So, yeah.

So I have moved over to Macon, which is a, a Twitter kind of alternative.

Which is much nicer and has a lot fewer trolls and has things like

you can put content warnings on your stuff and people will put content

warnings on for all sorts of things.

Like if they talk about religion, if they talk about politics, if they post pictures

of their cat, You know, anything that might trigger somebody, you generally

go, Right, I'm gonna put it under a content warning, and then people can

choose whether to look at it or not.

Nice.

So you don't get that kind of anxiety doom scrolling thing

where you just see loads of stuff

like me and

everything's

warning contains feet.

Exactly.

Or like you could just search for all the potato

could just Yeah.

But Master Don is kind of weird in a, in a way cause it's all decentralized,

so there isn't one company behind it.

Yeah.

People set up their own servers and their own instances and

then they all link together.

Now the other thing they can do is the admin of a server can look at

another server, another instance, and go, Actually they're talking.

Stuff that we really don't wanna engage with.

Like, I don't know, they just seem to be a bunch of Nazis or whatever.

Yeah.

And they can just sabotage with that server.

So if you find servers that are full of people being horrid and offensive,

eventually they can't talk to anybody but

themselves Amazing.

Cause they just remove all the links and go, Right.

We're not, we're not talking to those guys.

So they just become isolated and in, you know, insular.

So it's an interesting.

Yes.

I'm not sure how, what it has to do with frozen people, but No.

You know,

all

good

can we talk more about frozen people?

I'll go on then.

Well, you brought it up.

That is true.

indeed.

Yeah.

Um Not sure I wanna say now I've lost my train of thought cuz about that.

What were you gonna say about frozen

I dunno that's what I mean.

I'm trying to think of it.

Cause like it was there.

I was trying to hold it in my brain while you were doing your

thing and now it's just, I looked at and it flew out the window.

So yeah, back to the expedition of terror.

Have they plotted?

Cause you said they found like other bodies and such with like marks So

have they plotted and figured out like, you know, the journey of the

boat ended up there and then like the people, cuz you said they were going

like 600 miles south or whatever.

Well, they were trying to track over land to, to reach

the nearest

then have they actually

found

Remains of all the people they were expecting to find or

No, no, no.

They're lost in the tundra

So how do we know if they didn't?

What if they did

Well, if they'd have made it, we'd have known cuz they'd have

reached civilization and somebody would've been there to tell the story.

The fact that nobody knows what happens to them means they were lost

Okay.

What if they ended up.

What if they fell over?

Yeah.

Knocked their head

All of them in

No, no, just the, the one, one that was left.

Okay.

Fell over, knocked their head, forgot who they were and what they were doing

and they were found by some Inuits and

Could be, who knows.

But there are no Inuit stories about white Europeans turning up

and going, Can I live in your place?

It's cold.

It would be cold as well.

Yeah.

Like, yeah, that's, It's like this guy going in for a second time.

I

feel

like.

Are you a glu for punishment?

I

think he obviously was

was a glutton for long Big He was like Right then, lads, I know

you're all a bit larger than the last group He was like, holding auditions.

You're too skinny.

Off you go.

You'll never survive.

You need a good.

Layer of, of fat and muscle to survive the, and his air going,

No, that's really disrespectful.

I shouldn't have said that.

Cause do

I think enough time has passed.

I think it's, it's not a kind of too soon thing on

Where did he end up?

Do we know where

he actually No, he wasn't

No.

So the, the captain was, was not found either

eaten by the wear bear.

Maybe.

So it's literally the only people that were found from it were the

people that kind of died before.

The expedition really kicked off, or I think they said there was a couple of

others that were buried on King William

Island.

honestly, though the, the things that we did as people Yeah.

Back in the day to discover and explore, like those boats you

Exploration was hugely dangerous.

It's madness cuz like you see the videos now of like the big old ships going

through the ice and they're all properly like, you know, modified, et cetera.

And you've got helicopters going over 'em to make sure they're okay.

And you can see 'em like cutting like up into the ice and then

the weight brings 'em down.

It smashes and all the ice goes.

Yeah And like does that kind of crazy thing That

like But these these these ships were absolutely the height

of technology for their time.

They had, they had reinforced holes.

Yeah.

The decks were cross planked to

help

Well, yeah, exactly.

I mean that's amazing.

But they have have seen

engines and screw propellers and they still

got icebound Oh

my God.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So it's I know, and, and literally just to kind of map an area Yeah.

Really just to say, Yeah,

Even if the Even if it was successful, they would've

been gone for so long.

Well, I think the, the three years they said that, the, the initial thing,

now the, one of the weird things was I was reading a little bit more about it

and, and it'll be in one of the links that I post as the research links, but they

were saying that they had so much coal on board for the steam engine and blah, blah.

But like, it wasn't anywhere near three months worth.

It was like three years worth.

It was more like three months worth of coal.

And I'm like, What happens when the coal runs

out?

What do you

the Furniture?

Yeah.

You clothes, What happens?

I mean, you know, it's, there's only

so

but this is another

in there that's gonna be any use

days.

Like if I said, Oh, I'm, I'm going down to London, I'll be back tomorrow.

Yeah.

Because I can get, or I could be back tonight because, or you know, cuz it only

takes

from

you know And, and then if I wasn't back tomorrow, you'd go, Oh,

I'm a bit worried Zoe, he's not back.

Or if I wasn't back when I say, because I can get there and back in such a short

time because travel has progressed.

Yeah.

Like back in the day I'm going to London, it's gonna take.

You know, three weeks round trip.

Yeah.

Then it's like, oh, she's not back in three weeks.

Yeah.

Well, you know, a lot can

happen in three weeks and

way to contact her either.

Cause you haven't got a phone.

Exactly.

But you know, if people are going, Oh, well, they'll be back in three

three Yeah.

Oh, hold on.

It's been three years.

They're not back.

And then you realize that actually two and a half years ago they all died and

it's like, it's not like you can help

'em Yeah.

Yeah It's

like oh

that went

bad It's this whole kind of, it's a really fine line between Bravery Madness.

Yeah.

And, and obsession.

And you know, you gotta think a lot of it was in a weird way,

the search for mortality because

Oh, yeah,

absolutely.

They were looking to make their name.

We were the people that

and I mean, what they have.

Well yeah.

But for the wrong reason

I say, but weirdly, it's, it's the guy that, you know, you'd think

if it had been successful, it'd been like, Oh yeah, they did this.

Oh yeah, he died on the way.

Whereas now it's like, Oh my goodness, he's immortalized.

Yeah, he's the amazing

one.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So it's weird to think about,

Because I'm, I'm have a kind of a weird obsession with like the whole

process mummification all of that anyway, cuz, you know, being obsessed

with Egyptians from a very early age and also from a very early age, knowing

that I didn't want to be cremated and that I wanted to be buried, even though

I get really, really bad claustrophobia.

But you you're not gonna get

claustrophobia.

Okay.

So get this.

Okay.

I, I know, I know.

But listen, I get really, really bad claustrophobia.

I hate small spaces, but I'm also obsessed with fire and a bit of apy maniac,

but I would rather be buried in the ground in one, like altogether, right?

Than be cremated.

So it's kind of like this weird crossover

crossover Mm.

Like the whole mummification thing.

Yeah.

I'm not quite overly keen on the whole removing the insides and the

brain through the nose, et cetera.

Yeah.

But the whole kind of weird process that they have, the e empowering

process is really intriguing.

And just the respect they show they're dead as well.

And as much as you say, Oh, well, don't know.

But we don't know because

Okay.

Yeah Yeah.

You know I like that whole journey that the Egyptians have.

I mean, if you want me to pull your brain out, who

No, no.

I just said I didn't, I didn't want you to do that.

And what I was gonna say, what makes you think I'm gonna die

die I,

It's, it's extremely unlikely.

I just meant in the, in the, in the strange, you

know,

the

strange

Universe but yeah, I kind of almost like the idea of being freeze

idea Yeah It's

kind

but maybe not.

Not like the whole scientific way.

But that whole kind of, maybe.

I feel like it's a bit Skyrim.

Just take me up to the top of a really cold mountain.

Pile a few stones

Yeah.

I'm, I'm not gonna do that.

I probably couldn't do that now.

I'm not gonna do that.

By the time we're older.

I'm not gonna hike up a mountain for you.

I'm

I mean, we live in the fences.

It's as flat as you get round it.

Yeah.

And we never get snow.

No.

Yeah.

Yeah Um

I'll stick you in the

fridge.

I was gonna say buy a really big chest freezer and put me in like a storage

thingy.

And I'll write a little note first saying it's okay.

I said you could do this , just put it on, pin it to my chest like you do with like

little kids when you like, wanna give a note to the teacher, pin it to the chest.

It's okay.

I said it was alright.

Yeah.

it's either that or one of those weird bags under a tree.

Yeah.

I'm quite up for the bag under

I dunno if anywhere around here

Quite expensive apparently.

I don't care.

I'll be dead.

You can pay for it, ? No, I'll um you can pay for it in advance

Canton.

Wow, Great.

Good.

Yeah,

you can pay for your funeral in

advance.

that massive, extra money that I've got at the

This is the thing though.

I find it quite like, like it's unfair that when you die, everyone

else has to pay for your funeral.

Well, the, the idea being is that you, you know, you have either

life insurance or something Yeah.

That would help with that, or you've put enough money aside.

My grandparents have had their, like, they've had their plot and their

funeral paid for, for literally years.

Yeah, years.

Like since I was a little girl, I can remember mum going, Oh yeah, they've

already picked out their plots in the cemetery and, and paid for it.

So,

Yeah but like when my stepdad and mum died, it, it came out

of whatever they had in savings.

So it ended up that the inheritance was an awful lot smaller

maybe we would've hoped for.

But, you know, I wasn't really hoping for much of anything.

So what I did get was a bonus.

there we go.

You know?

But yeah, there was, what was it I was watching the other day that was,

Basic, the, the basis of civilization is how we treat our dead.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What was that one?

Were you watching that with

me?

No but I've heard it

many many times before.

It's

like, but there was, there was basically a guy that was saying like, you know,

that that's the beginning of civilization is when we started to bury our dead.

Yeah.

That's kind of where it all stems from, is, is.

Honor our ancestors and things

Yeah.

But then you've got places like body farms, which are like intrigue me as

well.

They're

Oh, that's what I was gonna say.

You don't fancy beam one of those freeze drive bodies that work where they take

'em all apart and like you show the nervous system and they have 'em all in

What you mean

glass boxes

the body exhibition?

Yeah.

I don't think I'd like people

No,

with your As on

display

and

Yeah.

I dunno because like, cuz I went round the body exhibition Yeah.

Back in the day

and it

can't remember if I did or not.

I think I have.

it was amazing.

It was so, so interesting.

Yeah.

But the whole time it was so, it's kind of almost on a par with the the monks, the.

Cappuccino Monk people.

The cappuccino.

Oh my God.

Yeah.

monks that are really

into

coffee.

The

coffee monks.

Yeah.

Capuchin

Yes, I know, I know.

I dunno why I put the

o

on and I, I still dunno why they were called Capuchin

there's a Capuchin monkey.

Well, the only thing I can think of is I think capuchin monkeys have

like a black bit that goes around

their head and then it's face, so it looks like they're wearing a, a cow or hood or

or so Anyway,

you know how when we went round there, I, we kind of, the whole thing was like, I

I found

this, This was in Rome, by the

way,

Yeah.

So there's this, We did the episode on it, didn't we?

In

Minnesota Oh yeah.

yeah But a lot of people won't have

heard

Oh yeah.

So

don't subscribe to our Paton.

If you do want to, I have a suggestion for you,

Hmm.

So basically, yeah, it's this it's a vault and it is home to literally

hundreds,

Hundreds, maybe thousands, I think in the

end I I don't remember Of, of

skeletons?

Yeah.

That were they were bought there, weren't they?

Because they were dug up from somewhere else.

somewhere else Right

And and they decorated the walls with them.

Yeah.

And things like hip bones were placed in like almost flor.

patterns and things.

and like all the bones, basically they've decorated the whole place

with, with skulls and all the, all the different bones of the body,

but as patterns and it's almost like a kaleidoscope in some things.

So you, it's, it's really beautiful, but it's.

You kind of on this kind of seesaw of going, Wow, it's really pretty.

Oh my God.

It's all bones.

It's really, really pretty.

There are at least 200 skulls just there.

It's really, Wow.

That's a like really delicate.

Oh my goodness.

That it just goes to show the resilience of art because humans can

make art out of anything, including other

Yeah.

So,

What was the point of that

again?

I

don't know.

You started

it.

Yeah, but what did I start

with?

You're talking about the cap Monks.

Yeah, but why I, I started

talking about, oh my god,

Body

Ex exhibition

That was it.

Yes.

So, so the body exhibition was very much like that.

It was like, oh, that, that there is so pretty.

Cuz it was the nervous system and it's all like all these and it's

like, wow, that's so intricate.

That's.

That used to be someone's

Yeah that's basically in me right

now.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And it's like, but it, no, it wasn't that it's in me right now cuz that

I could understand and go Yes.

But it used to be in another person that was walking around that probably

didn't realize it was gonna end up in an exhibition that thousands

there was actually a whole section exhibition that was children as

well, but that was like a an extra bit that they warned you and said.

It had a triggered

Yeah

and at the time I, I did, I went round it and it was intriguing but also

but all Yeah.

I will say for our listeners, if you do follow any of the links that I will put

as research links in this episode, be prepared to see some freeze stride bodies

including that of children and yeah,

so

if that's not your thing, avoid

Yes.

But yes, it is.

It's this kind of big reminder that the body is an amazing thing.

And it's really resilient as well, and stronger than we realize,

and

yeah Well there's there's

don't there used to be an advert on TV where they were talking about

bits about the body, and I can't, it must have been like a healthcare

beeper or something like that.

And it was saying at one point, The human body can withstand impacts that would dent

plate steel, and they showed like rugby players tackling each other at that point.

But that's partly because it's softer and it can absorb the impact better.

But yeah, the human body can do incredible things, absolutely incredible things.

It never ceases to amaze me the things that people will do in the name of, you

know, art and gymnastics and dance and sport, martial arts and all sorts of

So here's a question.

If you were frozen Yes.

And they were able to bring you

back Yeah.

What would be the first thing you'd want to ask?

Or say?

What year is it?

But how would you say it?

What year is

it?

you're gonna go?

What year is it?

What year?

? No.

Probably not.

No.

Isn't that from Jumanji though?

When Robin Williams does it, what year is it?

What?

from back to the Future, isn't

Oh, okay.

Well, it's probably both,

Probably.

There's quite a few films that it could be from.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Not, not like

Welcome to The World of Tomorrow

Yeah,

Yeah.

And then just start singing The Future Armor theme song.

Okay

Yes what, what would you say then, what would be the first

I dunno that was, I

when being revived?

A thousand years into the future?

Our potatoes still a thing.

Yeah.

Probably

be

Yeah.

Can and

chips,

I'd be like, you know, have, have we finally had disclosure about aliens?

Well, Pete, did we figure out if Bigfoot was real?

All these kind of things.

Whatever happened to the crew of the Mary Celeste?

Do we figure that one out?

You know,

I thought we

shot jfk?

Cuz by that time the files should have been released in theory.

Although they probably won't be, They'll just block that

stuff forever Yeah

the name of National

Security and then and then lose it, and then it'll be destroyed in a

a

because I sometimes think about the stuff I've seen in my life and it's

been a hell of a time to be alive.

Cuz we've seen things like the fall of the Berlin Wall.

Mm-hmm.

You know, we've seen the death of Royals.

We've seen recently we've seen the death of the Queen who ruled for.

80 billion years, I think.

Yeah.

Since the Paleo Zoic,

Betty White.

Betty White, as we've probably mentioned on this podcast before, was born

before the invention of sliced bread.

So sliced bread is the best thing since Betty White.

Yeah.

Yeah.

All the golden girls are reunited now.

Bernard Cribbins.

Yeah.

Just the other day.

Kevin Conroy died, who was the voice of Batman in the animated series and things

like that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But, but some of the amazing things we've seen, like the rise of the

internet, you know, the internet wasn't a thing when I was a kid.

Mobile phones

iPads mobile Whole like just, Yeah.

Some of the stuff that we have now that we use on

a day to day basis and think

the ability to to make a podcast and send it all around the

world.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Never really imagined I'd be doing my own weird little radio show when I was a kid.

and people actually listen,

Yeah.

And they

I

well Good grief.

What is wrong with you people?

? Zoe: feel I feel

like we should just end it there.

What's wrong with you?

People We're going

That's it.

Yeah.

You can't possibly be entertained by this.

It's Right.

They're sleep now.

but yeah.

Some, some of the world events that we've seen and stuff, you know, in

our lifetime have been incredible.

And the, the massive acceleration of technology.

And then again, I'll say it for the people at the.

The US government have turned around and said, UFOs are real,

which absolutely blows my mind.

Still

it is mad, isn't it?

But, And no one seems to be too bothered.

They're still

bothered about

it and then it was just like, Oh, by the way, you know, here's

the, here's other things in the news, and we just kind of glossed

over it, and I'm like, No, hang on.

, that's huge.

huge.

Elon Musk is a lizard person who the aliens don't like and

he knows they're after him, so that's why he is trying to escape.

You heard it here first, folks.

Elon, please don't sue us.

We haven't got literally got nothing, so just don't bother.

You can have our DVD collection

if you

like.

We don't which is, you know, I mean it's carefully curated.

There's a few bomb notes in there, but other than that, it's pretty good.

bomb notes.

Yeah.

I dunno, there's definitely a few iffy movies in there,

but Are they the, It's so badest

There's only literally like a handful of movies that are so bad.

They're good.

And most of them are just so bad.

They're bad.

Like, for example, Ghost Rider

which we d

own,

but we recently watched for a m.

Which is on

page but that No, that's not so bad.

It's good.

That's a So bad is just terrible.

That's so bad.

It made me physically ill.

Did you see the post I put up about watching Sharknato?

Yes, I did see that.

No, I've already seen Sharknato.

It

You have not,

not Yes,

I have.

it together?

Yes.

Yes.

I thought I watched

it on

my

own Cause there's an amazing bit where they're like waiting through

a car park or something like that in ankle deep water and then all of a

sudden you see a fin come along and

you Hang on a

minute.

That must be a flat shark . One of

those really weird

a wng.

It's a type of shark that you get in Australia and it's like

a, almost like a flatfish.

like a stingray.

No, more like a, a Dover soul or something like that.

But it's, it's not, it's a shark.

Both it's eyes are

kind of on the top, but they're not, they don't look like a dova, so it

looks like a Picasso version of a

fish.

They

does it have like a

that the Picasso Fish

mouth.

No, I mean they're not big.

They're like two, three feet long or something, and I think they're

bottom feeders, if I remember right.

But yeah, Wgan, nobody has ever heard of the Wgan apart from me

People in Australia.

Is he lying?

can

I'm

up

look it up now.

No, not right now.

You can go into Wikipedia and go Wgan and I'll

attempt the spelling for you,

Okay, fine, fine.

Let's do it.

Okay.

Let's do

Live Googling.

That's just what the internet radio show needs.

can cut this bit out if you want to

go.

Oh might, well, probably won't.

Warburg.

Go.

W O B E G O N G, I think.

But I

I Oh,

Ah, see.

Oh, they do?

Yeah.

Boong is the common name given to 12 species of carpet sharks.

Carpet sharks?

Hang on.

Do we need to check our rug for sharks?

What's

going on?

Don't, because floor sharks are a

a thing.

They're not

fan Oh my gosh.

The nightmares I had as a kid.

Oh my gosh.

this before.

What

Can you see that

It's It's like

a big smiley face.

He's just happy.

Maybe we'll put the Wang on Instagram.

Make him

face.

These are amazing.

That

one.

or her or it, whatever.

Gosh.

Their mouths are full of teeth.

Well,

that

Well, most sharks are, That can't be a surprise.

Look like a, A shy style.

Kind of like circular thing.

Well that's a cookie cutter shark generally, isn't it?

Cuz they literally just cut circular pieces of flesh outta

things

I know what a cookie cutter I

watched OCTs, I knew that was coming.

I found them Yeah.

And cuz, oh, they do always look like they're smiling.

Oh.

Such happy little

bits.

They're like the quacker of the ocean.

Yeah, actually they are.

And there is a picture, you've got all the pictures of like actual them and then

it's the picture of them in the aughts

Yeah, I was gonna say our adult role probably know about

the Wgan, cuz she watched a

I dunno if they had wba gongs, They had the, the huma hum a no no.

There's a bit in the middle.

I always forget.

Hum.

Was it like

No, no.

A

A a?

Yeah.

Oh yeah.

That was a mouthful.

That one it right.

Yeah.

Yes Yeah, it looks like they're wearing someone else's false

Yeah.

Have you seen the pictures online where people have put human teeth in

Sharp They're just

amazing.

Okay,

we feel like we are totally off topic now, so we should stop, how

of that's kind of what we do

If you wanna stop, we'll stop

Is it lunchtime?

I'm hungry but

last time we didn't do any of the way you can find us.

No nothing.

No So I think we ought do just a quick roundup now.

now Oh absolutely.

Yeah.

I'm not gonna say just stop, but I think last time, cuz that

was a terrible laugh by the way.

Me and

recorded for eternity.

It's cuz we both,

have it as my ring tone.

Could you imagine if it's just me and you'll be like, I'm ignoring that.

And it'll just be me laughing and laughing and

and laughing.

and I'll record that one.

Okay.

So thanks for making it to the

end.

Yeah.

Again, yeah, if you

have,

let us know if you'd like to be freeze dried.

I mean, we can't help you, but just let us know

Actually, to be fair, how people like preferences for

death, not preferences for death.

Where would you like to die?

No.

What,

I always think of the guy in in pitch black, where basically he's gonna

get completely eaten by the, the creatures and he's just like, I was supposed to

die in France, like, Oh, bless you.

had you Oh, you had you organized that?

Yeah, he was, he had plans.

He was gonna retire to France drink wine and.

Not necessarily like immediately.

but you know, the wine wasn't that bad.

Yeah.

Yeah let's just, go the thing.

okay.

So you can find us on Instagram, instagram.com/stories of strangeness.

You can find us on Facebook at facebook.com/stories of strangeness.

There's a group in a page if you wanna talk to us in the group.

That'd be great.

To us on Instagram as well.

Send us

pictures.

Yeah.

Alert us to interesting stuffs.

We probably aren't gonna be on Twitter anymore cuz I'm abandoning that cuz it's

I think we abandoned that a long time ago.

Yeah.

If you would like I dunno why I speak so slowly when I'm trying If you would

like to support us, we have a couple of different ways you can do that.

Yep.

If you would like extra content for your dollar or pound or

whatever You right?

I dunno.

Yeah.

We have a Yeah, we do.

I've

completely forgotten the

word Yeah, I could see Paton

like left your brain three

pounds a month or the equivalent in your local currency?

Yes.

You get an extra episode of us talking more random stuff.

Yeah.

You can look at Time lapse videos.

Oh, she

there she, got there second

time

ever.

in two years.

time lapse videos.

There's outtakes.

Oh my

god.

Lots of

outtakes Yeah

So embarrassing.

and our Minnesotas range from things like.

Kind of similar topics to personal experiences of places we've

been or something like that.

We've done a couple of movie watch along commentaries for awful terrible movies.

Actually, what was the first one?

The

first one was right

awful How dare you.

It's showing its age

now,

it is But anyway

And there are a couple of free Minnesotas, so if you

wanna kind of test the waters.

There's one on Irwin Saunder's, Pixie Hunter of YouTube, and I can't

remember what the other one is.

It might

to go find out won't they Yeah.

Also, we have a red bubble account, which we haven't updated in a little while.

Yeah.

But you can, well, I mean, our logo hasn't changed.

You can buy our random logo on random

things,

and there's that load of other stuff on there as well

that we've randomly drawn.

I don't have said word random, hundreds of times.

Random, round random.

, you can buy our logo.

And other stuff on

stuff.

Yeah Other

illustrations.

What we'd done did

so if you go to Red Bubble and search for

Mike,

all one word and you should find us.

We also have a coffee account, so if you'd rather not sign up to

Pat for a subscription kind of deal, but think, Hey, you know what, I'd

like to keep them making stuff.

You can throw us a little bit of change on coffee.

and basically I think the money that we're getting.

We're hoping to put towards

a road trip,

Well, a road trip and yeah, we just wanna get out there and do

something that's not in the living room.

Yeah,

So we also need ideas of where to go on our road trip.

Yeah.

Oh, I've got a few already.

But yeah,

I mean, I've got that map that you got me,

that's all the

which has, which has

road trips

on it

it as

well

So

Yeah, we could

can do

that.

Yeah.

Cool

One day.

Yeah

Out there.

I'm gonna have to look into how much a remote recording device would be.

be.

Yeah, that's what I was talking about.

The money's going towards a remote

what I was yeah And fuel.

And fuel and a car.

Yeah, we'll har

her

I know.

I know.

Anyway.

Or we could take the train and then we can record on the train as we're going.

But you know, there'll always be somebody

like

next to you in the seat that just decides to have a full like volume

phone conversation or like kids on iPads, that absolutely screaming

volume that I have to deal with on my commute most days and things like that.

Yeah, maybe train isn't the best idea unless we go first.

We can annoy everybody in first

class

I think they're getting

rid of first class is normally empty.

Yeah.

And I think they're getting rid

rid of it.

Yeah.

Cuz it's normally empty.

Cuz no bugger wants to pay for it

Cause

you can afford to do that, why don't you drive or

But the thing is, like, it used to be like

your own personal submarine.

occasionally used to get first class tickets when I went from Bath home.

So the, the bit from Bath to London, because it was like an hour

and on how many stops there were.

I'd go first class cuz you got a cup of tea and a sandwich and

some biscuits and it'd be nice and

I'm gonna cut all this out, by the way.

Yeah.

But

if you bought in advance, it'd cost me nine pound.

Right.

Like for a first class ticket and it's like nine pound for a sandwich

and all of that and stuff as well.

Yeah.

And then other days if I got like a normal one, it'd cost me like 40 odd

quid and I'd end up sitting on the floor.

Actually, what I might do is just fade the volume down as you keep

talking

have a blah, blah, blah.

saying we should go and then going, Hang on.

I've got four minutes worth of stuff to say about first class on

trains.

Yeah.

Yeah,

That's it.

We're going now.

Bye

bye.