Feeling like a fraud can quietly shape the way we learn. Imposter syndrome can make language practice feel heavier, more personal, and more threatening than it really is. In this episode, Walter talks with executive coach Tara Halliday about the hidden patterns of self doubt, perfectionism, and comparison that affect so many learners. How can we tell the difference between normal lack of confidence and imposter syndrome? Why does comparison make learning harder? What helps us feel calmer, safer, and more capable while building a new skill? These are some of the questions we explore in episode #112 of “Poder aprender.”

One of the key ideas in this conversation is that imposter syndrome is not the same as simply lacking confidence. Tara explains that it often shows up as the secret feeling of being a fraud, not belonging, or fearing that others will find out we are not good enough. In language learning, this can appear through self criticism, comparison, and the pressure to do everything right from the start.

We also explore the role of support in reducing the weight of imposter syndrome. Tara explains that it tends to be triggered when high challenge meets low support. Instead of removing the challenge, we can make learning easier by adding support from teachers, peers, and helpful communities. Bringing these struggles into the open also weakens the shame that keeps them alive.

Another important point is the difference between low self esteem and imposter syndrome. Low self esteem tends to affect many areas of life, while imposter syndrome can be surprisingly selective. A person may feel capable and confident in most situations, yet feel exposed and inadequate in one specific language or skill. That distinction can help learners understand what is really happening inside them.

Finally, the episode looks at how to loosen the grip of perfectionism and self judgment. Tara explains that imposter syndrome grows when we attach our worth to our performance, so mistakes start to feel personal. Learning becomes easier when we separate who we are from what we do, calm the nervous system, and allow ourselves to experiment more freely. Relaxation does not reduce ambition. It creates better conditions for growth.

These are the topics of episode #112:

1. What Imposter Syndrome Actually Is
2. Comparison Talent and the Right Kind of Perspective
3. Low Self-Esteem Identity and Language-Specific Triggers
4. Separating Self-Worth from Performance
5. How to Eliminate Imposter Syndrome at the Root

¡Sigan aprendiendo y acuérdense de practicar bien!

---------------------------------------------------------------

Tara Halliday: http://completesuccess.co.uk

---------------------------------------------------------------

Sitio web: https://poderaprender.com

Instagram: https://instagram.com/poder.aprender

YouTube: https://youtube.com/@poder-aprender

---------------------------------------------------------------

Sitio personal: https://walterfreiberg.com

Today I'm having a conversation with Tara Halliday.

2

Tara is an executive coach with over 25 years of experience and in recognized specialist

in imposter syndrome.

3

She's the author of two

4

Amazon number one best sellers, "Outsmart Imposter Syndrome" and "Unmasking: the Coach's

Guide to Imposter Syndrome".

5

Tara created the inner success program,an eight week one-to-one coaching journey designed

specifically for executives to eliminate imposter syndrome at its root, restoring calm,

6

clarity and confidence.

7

Welcome Clara to "Poder aprender".

8

I'm delighted to be here, Walter.

9

Thank you for having me.

10

What is the difference between lacking confidence in a new skill, like learning a language

and

11

truly experiencing imposter syndrome?

12

That's a brilliant question, Walter, because you can have imposter syndrome and be

learning a new language, and you can be learning a language and not have imposter

13

syndrome.

14

So where would you separate them out?

15

So when you're learning a language, imposter syndrome will show up in several ways.

16

So imposter syndrome is the secret feeling of being a fraud, of being not quite good

enough, and feeling that you'll be found out, feel like you don't belong.

17

And it affects over 70 % of people.

18

So if you're learning a language, if you're building skills, likely you're one of the

people with imposter syndrome.

19

It's not a personality trait, it's not a flaw or anything like that.

20

And we'll get into more of what it is in a bit.

21

But how it'll show up is fundamentally self doubt.

22

And it's self doubt in terms of, say you're learning a language and you're three weeks in.

23

and you're comparing yourself to other people and you think, I'll never get there.

24

I'm stuck, you know, there's so much better than I am.

25

So that comparison will drag you down.

26

Who am I to, who do I think I can learn another language?

27

Who am I to do that?

28

Yes.

29

Or I'll never get there.

30

So it creates a lot of self doubt.

31

I was a lot of self criticism.

32

Particularly,

33

one of the symptoms of imposter syndrome is perfectionism.

34

So if you're perfectionist, then you want to do everything right first time.

35

And so being a learner in any area at all, it's really uncomfortable because it doesn't

feel like you don't have the feeling like, I'm just learning.

36

So it's okay to make mistakes.

37

It's I'm, I must be good at this right away and mistakes are bad.

38

And so that can put this whole load of pressure onto you.

39

And so that's really where it'll come out most in terms of your language learning and your

skills learning.

40

It makes a lot of sense and I appreciate that.

41

You say that we can learn still with when we're lacking in confidence.

42

Otherwise it would be so hard to make progress.

43

Yeah, and one of the things that's really important is...

44

to believe that you'll be able to do it.

45

So this is part of confidence is to believe that yes, you will be able to do it if you

persevere.

46

And also if you have the right support, know, there's, people feel alone with imposter

syndrome.

47

They feel so isolated.

48

They feel like they're the only one who's struggling.

49

And then they beat themselves up for struggling because, I'm not good enough because I'm

struggling.

50

Nobody else seems to be struggling.

51

Even if you go to a language class, you might look around and think,

52

Everybody else is doing so much better than me.

53

All of those kind of comparisons, these sneaky things creep in.

54

So any support that you can get is really, really valuable.

55

So that support in terms of teachers, in terms of peers and colleagues who are learning at

the same time as you, it's podcasts like this.

56

Anywhere you can find it, it's gonna be helpful.

57

So what you're saying, what I hear you saying is that keeping it inside, invisible makes

it easier to, and it's giving its sustenance.

58

And when we are bringing that outside, when we put it to the light, it's more challenging.

59

and it's harder to exist.

60

Yes, would say that's definitely.

61

So em imposter syndrome gets triggered where you've got a combination of high challenge

and low support.

62

So the more support you give, we don't want to take the challenge down.

63

We don't say, I won't bother learning a language, right?

64

We don't want to take challenge down, but the more support we give, the easier it's going

to be.

65

And the more support we have, the more we stop blaming ourselves.

66

Now, one of the things about imposter syndrome is people think that it's them that's

67

something wrong with them, it's personality flaw or weakness or something like that.

68

And so they don't talk about it.

69

You're right, people keep it a secret because they're embarrassed about it.

70

And when you keep it a secret, that perpetuates this feeling that you're not quite good

enough, that everybody else is doing so much better than you, or you should be further

71

along, that whole I should be this, that and the other is really the

72

There's something I see in the community of language learners and other skills as well is

that

73

people start thinking that they are not talented when something feels challenging, when

something feels hard.

74

They started learning something and they said at a certain point, maybe I'm not talented.

75

And how can we tell when that belief is a symptom of imposter syndrome?

76

Yeah, well, that's actually the root cause of imposter syndrome.

77

So if you think of imposter syndrome, this self doubt, these behaviors like comparison and

perfectionism, the stress that goes with them, that's all the symptoms of imposter

78

syndrome.

79

The root cause of imposter syndrome is when what we do means something about who we are.

80

We've put together, imposter syndrome is where we put together who we are and what we do.

81

So if we do something good.

82

We are good, right?

83

If we succeed, we're good.

84

If we do something bad, we are bad.

85

So you can see it's a very dangerous space to be thinking about because if you make

mistakes, then you think, oh, it must be me.

86

It must be a lack of talent.

87

And there are a number of studies, because I enjoy learning languages and there have been

a number of...

88

you know, studies and there are, you know, software apps, all sorts of things like that,

that I've proved that actually, if you have a learning pattern or learning method that

89

works for you, because not everything works for everyone, if you have one that works for

you, you will succeed in it.

90

The brain is, you know, if you can speak your own language, you can speak another one.

91

You just need the right pathway through.

92

So, and there are some people who are amazingly talented and, you know, there's a guy on

YouTube I've been watching recently and he learned Chinese in a year and he goes around

93

the world and he learns all these languages and then he speaks to, you know, the Cherokee

in their own language and he goes to Africa and speaks Soheili and he's absolutely

94

amazing, incredible, mesmerizing to watch.

95

But if you're comparing yourself to someone like that, it's never going to be helpful.

96

It's never going to support you or encourage you to learn.

97

So yes, there are amazingly talented people, but I think everyone can learn with the right

tools and approach.

98

Yeah.

99

And something that I've talked about in this podcast is the relationship we have with

those who are ahead and with those who we see as more talented or more gifted.

100

And this is something that I...

101

shared about early on.

102

And the way I see it, we can take that as a threat.

103

We can feel intimidated by them or we can feel inspired by them can say, look what it's

possible.

104

Look, this guy was learning and who dares to do that.

105

I know who you're talking about.

106

And I've seen like his most recent videos.

107

He now is trying...

108

to interact and to communicate with animals.

109

So he's learning animal languages now.

110

He's taking it like one more step.

111

And yeah, and that's super inspiring, like at so many levels.

112

So I think that we can use those such examples in a way that...

113

inspire us and that empower us.

114

It's a choice, I believe.

115

100%.

116

So there is, so the brain, cause I do a lot of work with, know, how the brain works.

117

This is the thing I geek out on, right?

118

So comparing comparison, right?

119

It's a, it's a typical habit of imposter syndrome.

120

Now the way comparison works in imposter syndrome is you compare yourself to someone else.

121

They look brilliant, like they're having no problems at all.

122

They're fantastic.

123

They're succeeding and, and, and we attribute

124

talent to them, right?

125

This is who we are and what we do.

126

We're mixing that up again.

127

And then we compare.

128

And when we compare, we look for the differences, right?

129

Now your brain is designed to spot differences in your environment so it can spot dangers.

130

Like if you're driving down a road through the field of cows and then suddenly there's a

bright purple cow at the end, your brain is going to go, what's that?

131

Right?

132

It zooms in on anything that's different.

133

Because that's how it looks out for danger.

134

So you can't just stop yourself comparing.

135

But what you can do is when you notice that you're looking at these differences, flip it

around and start to look for similarities.

136

How am I the same as that person?

137

What experiences do I have?

138

You know, what values do we have in common?

139

You know, even what food is doing that we like, right?

140

Anything.

141

The more you feel similar to that person, the more you'll feel better because you'll feel

142

You're like them, you won't feel so isolated.

143

And then the differences don't seem as important.

144

So you'll feel more like you belong.

145

And so that that judgment, that self judgment from the differences will go down.

146

So that's a very good way to then view someone.

147

And then you can say, OK, well, I am

148

they have been learning for 10 years and I've been learning for 10 days.

149

So, you maybe I'll cut myself some slack there.

150

You know, you start to bring in the perspective because it's no longer making you feel bad

about yourself.

151

And then when you have that perspective, you can say, yeah, but that's really

inspirational.

152

Right.

153

So that's how you can flip from it making feel bad to it being really inspirational.

154

And it's still comparing.

155

Yeah, that's brilliant.

156

I love that.

157

Start looking for similarities.

158

I might be different to this person, this and that, and I'm similar in this other ways.

159

And that's amazing.

160

In terms of comparisons, something that I've heard about, like when we're comparing

ourselves with another language learner, I heard somebody say that if you want to compare

161

to a person who's learning a language, don't do it with an adult who is speaking right

now, who's fluent in that language.

162

If you want to compare, maybe compare to a baby who's learning your target language.

163

So you can take that as your measure stick.

164

Okay, so I'm learning, starting to learn Chinese now.

165

Okay.

166

Let's compare.

167

I will compare starting now with a baby who's starting to learn Chinese right now.

168

I'm not going to compare it with a 20 year old, with a 30 year old or a 40 year old.

169

That's not a fair comparison.

170

that is so true and you know that before a baby starts to say even one word they've been

exposed to language and listening to language this whole time.

171

I spent six months in Germany and I've been learning German through the years but what I

found was that when I was in Germany then driving along I was tuned into the German radio.

172

You know, on the TV there was German programs that I was watching.

173

I walked down the street and I snippets of the German language and that immersion really

made a difference in my comprehension and my ability to recall words because the patterns

174

of the language get repeated over and over and over and that's how a baby learns through

these repeated patterns.

175

So I think you're absolutely right that comparison to how

176

our brains learn a language is brilliant.

177

I love what you say.

178

And so we should take, or we could take even some, the baby even has some advantage

because he's been in the womb for several months and he got this, time listening to the

179

language.

180

When babies are learning to talk, the parents repeat things over and over and over.

181

Even it's mama, papa, right, the very first thing, right, it is over and over and over.

182

So that's the repetition that helps build the structure.

183

whilst I'm a big fan of grammar for your traditional way of learning a language.

184

There's also the biological way of learning a language through immersion and repetition

that is powerful as well.

185

Yeah, there's both.

186

And when we started this conversation, we talked about confidence and imposter syndrome.

187

And I'm curious about like, what are the difference between self-esteem when we're talking

about a person with low self-esteem and imposter syndrome?

188

Is that the same or is there any connection?

189

And what are the implications for us as learners?

190

Yeah, so if you have low self-esteem, then you know, it's getting towards, you know, kind

of like a psychological diagnosis.

191

You might go and see a therapist to help with low self-esteem.

192

Low self-esteem will show up in all areas of your life, right?

193

So whether it's work, relationships, home life, learning language, it will show up

everywhere.

194

Imposter syndrome can show up in a very specific area.

195

So for example with the leaders that I work with for example, very talented, very

successful people and they might be great in five different areas that they're dealing

196

with every day but there's one that maybe they aren't and that's where their imposter

syndrome is showing up.

197

So imposter syndrome can be quite selective.

198

So it could be that your imposter syndrome is showing up around learning a language.

199

And you don't see it elsewhere in your life.

200

You feel very confident and capable the rest of your life.

201

Somebody asks you question in that language and you have to reply.

202

And suddenly you're feeling on the spot.

203

So it may be showing up there.

204

Who am I to think I can communicate with someone in another language?

205

That's the internal imposter syndrome dialogue.

206

So you can see the difference is very, very broad there.

207

And there's something in what you said that in that selectivity and that is selective.

208

And I'm thinking of people, persons who speak several languages and they might see this

imposter syndrome playing out in one of them.

209

Maybe there are few languages that they feel comfortable and they are very confident.

210

And then there are those who they feel like a fraud, this is not like who they really are

or that there's something missing.

211

Yeah, and you can see it back to the root cause.

212

It's where they've tied their worth and who they are with what they do and specifically

whether or not they do well in this language.

213

Now, you know, as a language learning expert yourself, you'll know there are different

kinds of languages.

214

So, for example, you know, you might find Italian and Spanish and Portuguese really easy

to learn, but German just foxes you.

215

Well, they're very different

216

basis in terms of the language.

217

And so that's one reason you might be finding German harder to learn.

218

It's not because suddenly you've stopped being a good learner or something like that.

219

But again, if you notice it, it's going to be you'll be making some meaning about it.

220

What does not being as far along as you want to be mean about you?

221

What do you making it mean about you?

222

And when we change what it means about us, then we can relax.

223

And for language learning, I particularly speaking language, because understanding is

easier than speaking it.

224

But speaking a language, we really have to be free to make mistakes, to muddle our way

through, to put words in the wrong order, to use the wrong tense, to...

225

especially if you know quite a few languages.

226

You start speaking in another language when you're...

227

Or can't find a word.

228

I have this with a German and Spanish actually.

229

I'm talking in German and I can't find a word but I know it in Spanish.

230

It might creep in.

231

So there's uh a degree of relaxedness that really helps your learning language.

232

And if you're perfectionist and rigid about it and if you're worried about making mistakes

233

then that's going to impact you.

234

It's going to make you tense.

235

That's going to make you, that's going to trigger you.

236

And what's really interesting is so imposter syndrome can trigger the nervous system and

being put on the spot, learning a language can trigger your nervous system.

237

And what I mean by that is that when your brain detects what it considers to be a threat,

it goes into this

238

excited nervous system state, agitated nervous system state.

239

It causes you to fight, so it's fight, flight, which is running away, and freeze, where

you just stop and your brain goes blank and you can't think of anything.

240

So these, these are states of the nervous system that are designed in your biology,

evolutionary biology, designed to try and protect you from a threat.

241

So, you know, if, you know, there's a tiger in the room,

242

you know, you might want to fight it to throw things at it, hit it with a stick to make it

go away.

243

Or you might run away yourself or you might freeze and hope that it doesn't notice you

because maybe it thinks you're dead.

244

Yeah.

245

So that's what happens when we get too stressed and that's your body performing normally.

246

Now they've done studies of what happens to the brain when you're in that state and

247

your blood flow goes to your arms and legs to fight or run away.

248

It gets taken from your prefrontal cortex, which is the thinking and strategic planning

part of the brain, the logical part of your brain.

249

And you literally don't have as much blood flow.

250

You literally don't have the oxygen and the nutrients to work as well.

251

So your intelligence, your IQ goes down by 13 points.

252

Your creativity goes down by 50 points.

253

You get reactive.

254

You get emotionally active.

255

You get stressed.

256

So that's not the state at which you're comfortable experimenting, right?

257

Which you don't mind making mistakes.

258

This is a tense where the brain's saying, if you say a wrong word to that French person,

then that French person is gonna hate you forever or chase after you with a stick.

259

It's what your brain's telling you.

260

It perceives it as a threat.

261

So if you notice yourself being triggered like this, then calm down as much as you can,

right?

262

And don't worry about your body doing just what it's supposed to do.

263

It's just not appropriate to do it when you're trying to speak a new language.

264

Yeah, so the more you calm you can get, the more...

265

relaxed you are about making mistakes, the easier it's going to be and of course the

faster you're going to learn.

266

And as I'm sure you that you say to everybody who's learning a language, when you try to

speak somebody else's language, vast majority of people really appreciate the effort that

267

you're making.

268

Yeah, as the saying goes that it goes to their heart.

269

I don't know whose phrase is that.

270

I think that...

271

Yeah.

272

There's a famous quote about like when you're speaking in this language, it goes to their

mind.

273

I don't know if it's like this, but when they speak in their native language or their

language, they go directly to their heart.

274

You know, that is so interesting.

275

So I work with people all around the world, our sessions we work with are in English.

276

And if we're talking about emotional things, what I've noticed that people whose first

language isn't English will talk about emotional things, but they feel quite detached,

277

right?

278

So they're not really feeling it.

279

So what I do is I ask them to express it in their own language.

280

and it's our emotions are attached to our own language.

281

Because we can translate a word like shame, Schade in German, right?

282

I know that intellectually that's the word in German, but the English version for me,

because English is my first language, has that emotion to it.

283

And so I think that's exactly what you're saying.

284

So certainly, you know, people will express their emotions.

285

in their own language far more easily than they do in a second language.

286

And that's a good transition to my next question.

287

And that's how does our cultural or educational background shape the way that imposter

syndrome shows up in our learning process?

288

What's most interesting about this is that they've done studies all over the world and the

way that it shows up is exactly the same.

289

Imposes it's, it's, so there, there are, there are the patterns, there's three types of

symptoms.

290

There's the thoughts, which is feeling ashamed, self-critical, being like you just got

lucky that you don't belong here or they don't, you don't deserve to be here or you don't

291

belong.

292

So those are the thoughts.

293

And then there's the stress of it, the fight, flight and freeze that I was talking about

that can lead to anxiety and overwhelm.

294

And there's a whole bunch of compensating behaviors, stress behaviors that we do like

comparing, like perfectionism, but it can include procrastination, avoiding opportunities,

295

not speaking up enough, thinking that if you get one more qualification, that will solve

everything.

296

And it doesn't just...

297

pushing through, over-preparing, all these different kind of symptoms.

298

And regardless of, you know, your culture growing up, you're going to be experiencing that

cycle.

299

That unique profile will be unique to you, but there's no real correlation to culture, and

there's no correlation to personality, because they searched all personality tests.

300

You know, maybe there's a personality

301

profile of imposter syndrome.

302

Well, there isn't because it's not about your personality.

303

You mentioned something before about this relationship and between our actions and how we

see ourselves, our identity.

304

And that made me think of the importance of making mistakes to learn.

305

And sometimes when we fail, we feel like a failure.

306

And I wonder what other...

307

other ways of using identity or identifying ourselves, taking an identity that are more

conducive and more helpful to our learning process.

308

So that's the fundamental and this is actually how I eliminate imposter syndrome for

people.

309

Taking them through learning how to separate their worth as a person from their actions.

310

And it's a very simple concept but we are surrounded in all societies across the globe by

this belief.

311

It's like a mass hallucination if you like, that our worth as a person depends on what we

do.

312

So the more you can focus on separating that out for yourself, just in your thinking, then

that will dial down the imposter syndrome, thoughts and behaviours.

313

So that's a real way through.

314

And that applies to...

315

languages, right?

316

Learning languages.

317

The more you're free to just play, experiment, try things out, ready to get things wrong.

318

So these are different actions, right?

319

But the more you're relaxed, the less you're making it mean anything about you.

320

Okay?

321

I've been stuck on these verb conjugations and I just, you know, for the last three weeks

and then...

322

the imposter syndrome part, how stupid am I?

323

Who am I to think that I, I to think I can master this?

324

And the playful bit is, well, I wonder if there's a song I can sing to help me learn it,

because songs are very powerful way to, to, to learn and integrate languages.

325

By the way, just like kids do, they're always singing language songs.

326

Yeah.

327

So, so the, the more, the more that you're able to separate out your actions from your

worth, then the more

328

the easier it's going to be to relax and in that integrate because when if you're tense as

I said when you're triggered your brain's not learning if you're stressed your brain isn't

329

learning when you're relaxed that's when your brain can learn

330

If you're tense, you're not gonna learn that verb tense.

331

Like no words.

332

Yeah.

333

That's very helpful, so thank you for that.

334

That makes me think also that sometimes the learners, some of the identities we take, we

take a lot of pride in that.

335

Like, every time, or many times where I hear people calling themselves perfectionists, it

has some like an overtone, something that it's something that they feel proud about.

336

Is that something, is it just me or is that something going on around that?

337

What's been your experience?

338

It's very, very common, right?

339

People who are perfectionist believe that that's what makes them good, right?

340

Now, the thing is perfectionism is a symptom of imposter syndrome.

341

And perfectionism isn't the same as having high standards, right?

342

Perfectionism is the need to be perfect, right?

343

High standards is just high standards.

344

But if you need to be...

345

everything to be perfect to be perfect, then you're stressed about things being perfect.

346

So, then, but you think because you're reaching for high standards with your

perfectionism, that the perfectionism makes you successful and you'd be proud of it

347

because obviously I do quality work.

348

You're completely ignoring the fact that people can have high standards and be relaxed

about it.

349

There's something I've heard in people's saying when they, the way that they talk about

their...

350

perfectionist tendencies is that I had this impression that people want to say, if I stop

being like this, I'm going to lose my drive or I'm going to lose my intensity or like, I'm

351

going to stop having goals.

352

I won't have any goals at all.

353

Like it's perfectionism or nothing.

354

And it's hard to convey that idea of high standards or excellence,

355

striving for excellence versus being a perfectionist.

356

Yeah, absolutely.

357

And this is why it's so sad.

358

find imposter syndrome really sad because it's not anything wrong with the person, but

it's a perspective that it's painful perspective that they really don't need.

359

They absolutely don't need it.

360

So what I find when I'm working with

361

clients and we get rid of because we do we eliminate imposter syndrome.

362

It goes away And I find they don't lose their drive.

363

They don't lose their ambition.

364

In fact, it changes they it actually ramps them up So so when you're a perfectionist,

right?

365

Yes, you're doing high quality work, but you're terrified of making a mistake and what

that means is that

366

that the distraction of it will slow you down.

367

It will allow, you know, you're actually more likely to make mistakes.

368

You have to work even harder.

369

So it is going to be exhausting to do.

370

But also the more you try, you think that that causes your success.

371

And so you can't let it go.

372

So you think that the drive to be perfect is caused your success.

373

When you let go of the perfectionism, that need, you're relaxed about it, you become open

to making mistakes, but open to new opportunities.

374

And suddenly things that you would have said as a perfectionist with imposter syndrome, I

don't think I could do that.

375

You can absolutely do.

376

So I have people who come to me who are in a very senior role, but...

377

overwhelmed with what they're doing, and so, so stressed.

378

They finish the programme and they're far more relaxed, but they don't want to sit around

on a beach, right?

379

It doesn't make you lazy.

380

It instead makes you go, well, I wonder what would happen if I did this, right?

381

They become explorers, adventurers, experimenters, and they actually...

382

and they actually have ambition further than they thought they could ever do because if

they didn't get there, it wouldn't be so devastating to them, right?

383

Because they're free to reach for it and they don't have to worry about what it means

about them if they don't get it because it doesn't mean anything.

384

it's a, yeah, it actually, perfectionism holds you back far more than you can imagine.

385

That's so fascinating.

386

It sounds like they are relaxing into action instead of coming from this place of...

387

are different ways of taking action.

388

It be from place of anxiety and stress.

389

and agitation or relaxation being totally at ease with that.

390

ah

391

talking about.

392

What we're talking about is accepting ourselves.

393

Accepting ourselves as worthy, accepting ourselves, whatever we do.

394

And that gives you the freedom then.

395

And because you've got all of the stress fallen away, you are physically more relaxed,

right?

396

You're more calm, but you also sleep better.

397

You're more focused.

398

You can be more productive.

399

And the world starts getting quite exciting, right?

400

Well, I can go off and do this.

401

And here's an opportunity that maybe I would not have taken before because maybe if I got

it wrong, how terrible would things be?

402

Here's an opportunity.

403

I wonder what would happen.

404

I can take that.

405

So people are energized with this freedom.

406

And that's been my experience.

407

They're energized.

408

Their ambition is expanded.

409

They see more possibilities for themselves.

410

And they have a lot more fun as well.

411

That's so great.

412

My last question is about eliminating imposter syndrome.

413

So we talked about separating the identity from the actions, like what we're making it

mean when we make mistakes.

414

And what else

415

would it be helpful for language learner and skill builder who is looking to eliminate

this at the root?

416

Yeah, well to eliminate it at the root, because this belief that our worth depends on what

we do, our worth is conditional, it's unconscious.

417

Right?

418

So what it is and the way it's showing up is there's a part of your brain, the fear center

in your brain, the amygdala, is always scanning around looking out for danger.

419

And so it's identified the challenges to your identity, the challenges to your worth as a

threat.

420

To eliminate the root cause of imposter syndrome, there's a very specific process that we

go through to change the way that the amygdala in the brain perceives the world around

421

you.

422

And that's a very systematic step-by-step process with a very intricate neuroscience

basis.

423

So...

424

It's not something, it's not a mindset thing.

425

It's not a reframing that, you know, how you look at things.

426

So to eliminate imposter syndrome takes this work, right?

427

And that's, that's the work that I do.

428

to dial it down There's several things you can do.

429

The very first thing I would suggest you do is to get calm and start noticing when you're

tense.

430

Do you go into a fight or flight or freeze?

431

Yeah.

432

Start noticing when you're tense.

433

And get calm as fast as you can because that will put you back into the learning state

rather than the stress state.

434

If you're trying to learn things when you're stressed, mean, really don't bother, go and

have a cup of tea or go for a walk because it's not going to go in.

435

So I think that's probably the most powerful thing you can do to set you on this path to

feel more like you belong,

436

more like you're not an imposter.

437

Wonderful.

438

Can you tell us more about what does your process look like to eliminate imposter syndrome

at the root cause?

439

Or when people, where can people learn more about that?

440

Where do you, which spaces do you develop that?

441

Yeah, well, you know, it's really interesting.

442

So my work is one to one.

443

The process, as I mentioned, starts with getting calm.

444

So it's a three, three step process.

445

First, we get calm.

446

Then we clear the belief in the amygdala.

447

So that's a very, this is a step by step thing that we do.

448

It's very personal.

449

So although the process is very systematic,

450

how you do it is, it's based on your experiences.

451

So you bring your experiences to it and then put it through this systematic process and

that changes the way the brain perceives, it sees it as no longer a threat.

452

So that's the clearing.

453

And then we create, create success and create the new belief about your worth being

conditional.

454

And so that's a three-step process that I take people through.

455

It's a 90-day process and...

456

You can find it on my website, it's completesuccess.co.uk.

457

I've also written the whole of the process with all of the neuroscience in it, in my book,

"Outsmart Impostor Syndrome".

458

And you can get that wherever books are sold.

459

Wonderful.

460

Thank you.

461

And is there anything else you'd like to share with my audience that I haven't asked you

today?

462

Yeah, just one thing.

463

um If you think you have imposter syndrome, but you're not sure, the very first thing to

do is to check.

464

And there is a quiz, you can put the link in the show notes.

465

Check out the quiz.

466

And if you're fed up of overworking, over judging yourself, beating yourself up, fed up

with your perfectionism, whatever is exhausting you, take the quiz.

467

And if you get over 50%, that's imposter syndrome.

468

If you get over 62%, then imposter syndrome is having a significant effect on your life.

469

And so it's worth looking for solutions, looking for other ways.

470

There's my way and there's other ways that people can...

471

There are coaches that work with just dialing down the symptoms.

472

So you don't have to jump into a 90-day one-to-one program to get rid of it.

473

But there are other things that you can do.

474

Thank you.

475

So there's your website.

476

Are you present on social or other places where people can get in contact with you?

477

Yeah, so because my clients are, you know, corporate clients, executives and leaders,

because they're very concerned about getting rid of imposter syndrome.

478

I'm in mostly on LinkedIn.

479

So my profile on LinkedIn is Tara-Haliday-PhD.

480

And I'm posting there several times a week.

481

You can, you know, connect with me.

482

You can send me a message, ask me questions, anything you like.

483

Excellent.

484

It's been wonderful having you today, Tara.

485

I learned a lot.

486

on imposter syndrome, I think that's uh such an important topic and so present in our

lives and our everyday lives as a language learner, as skill builders.

487

And that's something that I also see as a coach on daily basis, very, very regularly.

488

So thank you so much for being here, for sharing your wisdom and experience with us.

489

It's absolute pleasure.

490

Thank you very much.