Artwork for podcast Poder aprender
#111 - David Prosper: Living by Design, Clarity Cycles, and Purposeful Leadership
Episode 1112nd February 2026 • Poder aprender • Walter Freiberg
00:00:00 00:40:38

Share Episode

Shownotes

Living a successful life does not always mean living a clear one. Many high achievers move fast, accomplish goals, and still feel disconnected or overwhelmed. Clarity is not something we stumble upon by accident, but something we can intentionally design. How can we tell if we are living on autopilot instead of by design? What keeps intelligent and successful people stuck in cycles of confusion or burnout? How can clarity become a practical tool for better decisions and a more aligned life? These are some of the questions we explore with our guest David Prosper in episode #111 of “Poder aprender.”

In this conversation, David Prosper introduces the idea of living by design instead of default. He explains how feeling constantly overwhelmed, saying “I have to” instead of “I choose to,” and consuming instead of creating are common signs of an autopilot life. Clarity begins when we become aware of these patterns and start making conscious choices.

David also shares his Clarity Cycle framework, which describes four stages people move through: wanderer, seeker, architect, and flow master. Each stage reflects a different relationship with purpose, information, and action. Understanding where we are in this cycle helps us take the next right step instead of trying to have everything figured out.

Another key theme of the episode is subtraction. Clarity isn often comes from removing commitments, beliefs, and relationships that no longer align with our values. David connects clarity with decluttering, both mentally and emotionally, and highlights the importance of learning to say a responsible no in order to say yes to what truly matters.

Finally, we explore practical tools for grounding, decision making, and long term growth. From meditation and community to courage, curiosity, and self trust, this episode offers concrete ways to move from indecision to alignment. The focus is not on finding perfect answers, but on building the confidence to take action and design a life that reflects who we are becoming.

These are the topics of episode #111:

  1. From Autopilot to Awareness
  2. Clarity Through Subtraction
  3. The Clarity Cycle
  4. Courage, Fear, and Decision Making
  5. Tools for Sustainable Clarity and Growth

¡Sigan aprendiendo y acuérdense de practicar bien!

---------------------------------------------------------------

David Prosper: https://davidbprosper.com

DP Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theclarityguy_

---------------------------------------------------------------

Sitio web: https://poderaprender.com

Instagram: https://instagram.com/poder.aprender

YouTube: https://youtube.com/@poder-aprender

---------------------------------------------------------------

Sitio personal: https://walterfreiberg.com

Transcripts

Speaker:

Today's guest is David Prosper, the clarity architect, leadership coach, and author of

Finding Clarity, Your Guide to Peace, Purpose, and Prosperity.

2

:

And David, after years of chasing success, but still feeling stuck, he realized that what

most high achievers are missing is an ambition.

3

:

It's clarity.

4

:

Now,

5

:

through his clarity catalyst solutions framework, he helps leaders move from burnout to

alignment, from autopilot to purpose.

6

:

In this conversation, you'll learn how to escape the default mode, design a life that

reflects your values, and take courageous steps toward peace, purpose, and performance.

7

:

Welcome, David, to "Poder aprender".

8

:

Awesome.

9

:

Thank you so much, Walter, for having me.

10

:

I'm excited to be here and connect with you on these conversations about clarity and all

things that you're doing as well.

11

:

David, you talk about living by design and not by default.

12

:

And in your experience, in your coaching and conversations with people, what are the

biggest signs that someone is living on autopilot and how can they learn to spot that

13

:

themselves?

14

:

That's a great question.

15

:

I would say the biggest signs when people are living on default is feeling overwhelmed.

16

:

So that internal, like I feel overwhelmed and oftentimes because we've been taught to

consume.

17

:

So when we're living in default, we're consumers.

18

:

When we're living in design, we're creators.

19

:

So creators are looking for the next big thing or how can they facilitate a collaboration

connecting with the right people?

20

:

But

21

:

the consumers are just like, what can I take?

22

:

And it's like getting free samples at the mall or anywhere.

23

:

It's like, hey, it's free.

24

:

I just want to take.

25

:

And we start noticing the default life of I'm doing things that I don't want to do because

I have to do it.

26

:

There's things that we get to do and there's things that we have to do.

27

:

But if someone's constantly like, I have to do this, I have to go this place or place,

they're often living in default.

28

:

I love that distinction, consuming versus creating.

29

:

It's so easy to be a consumer when we think in terms of social media or entertainment,

even though it's equally easy or we have access to so many outlets, YouTube, social media,

30

:

we prefer to consume instead of create.

31

:

Yeah, it's an epidemic and I believe it feels good in the moment.

32

:

It's equivalent to like when we're eating and it tastes good and the food is good and we

just want more, we want more.

33

:

We know that if we eat too much, we're gonna feel like heavy, but it tastes good.

34

:

So we just want that next, we want that other spoon.

35

:

And I believe once we start moving to a life of design where we're thinking about what

we're doing, we're...

36

:

we're being present in what we're doing versus just living in autopilot, then it's just

like, okay, like, what can I remove from my plate of life and what do I want more of in my

37

:

life?

38

:

That's a great analogy in terms of feeding the way that we are feeding ourselves with.

39

:

content or things that are not so nutritious for our body and for our minds.

40

:

What stops successful people and smart people from finding clarity?

41

:

And how can we start unlearning those patterns that are getting in the way?

42

:

That's such a great question.

43

:

What stops successful with people from clarity and the unlearning?

44

:

It's the stories that we tell ourselves.

45

:

We have adapted because we've been nurtured and programmed in a way of FOMO, fear of

missing out.

46

:

So if we don't take, take seize of it now, if you don't take it now, then we're going to

miss out on our opportunity and everything is limited time only, limited time only.

47

:

And I've learned that everyone's urgency is not our emergency.

48

:

So if we're to gain clarity, we have to learn how to subtract some things.

49

:

And that's literally reprogramming.

50

:

Programming our human behavior.

51

:

So I know like a lot of your talks are around like learning and skill building.

52

:

I believe saying a responsible no is a skill set that we have to develop.

53

:

And I remember one of my mentors taught me that.

54

:

He's saying like, are you practicing a responsible no?

55

:

I was like, what do you mean by that?

56

:

He was like, are you saying no to the wrong thing so you can say yes to the right things?

57

:

And if we're to get clarity, it's like doing a cleaning of our home.

58

:

have to remove some things in order to either find some things or to bring something new

and oftentimes it's a little bit hard because we have that emotional tie to

59

:

oh what things could have been or what things should be versus being present what things

are.

60

:

And if we're going to step into clarity, we have to release some of the things in the

past.

61

:

And that's the past stories that got us to the level of success that we're in.

62

:

It's the past traumas that we need to heal.

63

:

And then we also have to let go of what things could have been with that past so we can

step into the right now.

64

:

it's cleaning the clutter, subtracting things in our lives.

65

:

So we start relearning living a life of minimalists.

66

:

And I'm a minimalist.

67

:

I love like less is more from Charmin, the commercial, less is more.

68

:

And it's such a powerful thing when we are grateful for the things that we have versus

like we're so surrounded by a lot of things that takes up space,

69

:

both physically, emotionally, and mentally.

70

:

And that's what the things in our life do.

71

:

It's like, is this enriching my life or depleting my life?

72

:

And if it's depleting my life, I have to lovingly extend that and remove access, whether

that's relationships.

73

:

If it's enriching my life, I want more of that because that's where I'm becoming more

alive.

74

:

That's wonderful.

75

:

Yeah.

76

:

And I love that how you connect clarity with cleaning and uncluttering.

77

:

And that's such a great way of saying that.

78

:

And even when we, our vision is unclear or it's like we have like dust in our eyes is that

we're not, there are things that can be clearer or that we can, can be

79

:

cleaner in terms of we're not seeing properly and there's things that are getting in the

way and we're not seeing clearly.

80

:

Mm-hmm.

81

:

uh

82

:

Speaking about clarity, you work with something called the clarity cycle.

83

:

And I'm curious about what that is and how you use that and what are the possibilities

with a clarity cycle.

84

:

it's a great question.

85

:

It's equivalent to the seasons of life.

86

:

There's summer, winter, fall, spring.

87

:

And these seasons typically tell someone how to prepare and navigate.

88

:

So the clarity cycle isn't a confinement.

89

:

It's what state are you currently in?

90

:

So the first the first step of the cycle is the wanderer.

91

:

This is the person who's going through life in a fog.

92

:

It was just like things don't feel right, but I know I should be doing something a little

different and I just don't know quite what is it.

93

:

So they're driving in a fog.

94

:

And when we're driving in an actual fog, like

95

:

where eyes are squinting, we're driving a little bit slower, we're more tense and we're

more reactive.

96

:

And then the way to get out of that wanderer cycle is to start asking those deep

questions.

97

:

Who do I wanna become?

98

:

Who am I becoming?

99

:

Is this life

100

:

enriching or depleting and is this an alignment and those questions I believe the right

questions leads us to the right destination versus the wrong questions and then the second

101

:

step of the cycle they move into the seeker the seeker are people who are listening to

podcasts just like this, Walter

102

:

they're reading books, they're consuming content like we talked about earlier that's

enriching.

103

:

They're just like, okay, I'm going to the seminars, I'm going to the networking events,

I'm going to all these things, so I want all this information.

104

:

And it's beautiful, but oftentimes the seeker is so overwhelmed with information analysis

by paralysis.

105

:

Like there's so many e-courses to take, there's so many podcasts to listen to.

106

:

And the next step from the seeker is to start saying, okay, what resonates

107

:

with me and what doesn't resonate with me?

108

:

And then taking what resonates to the next step which is the architect and the architect

isn't like okay I've consumed these content I've done these things how do I want to build

109

:

the lifestyle, the world my ecosystem

110

:

that's the truest to me that I feel grounded in the values of love, service, generosity,

connection, kindness.

111

:

And the architects start designing their lifestyle on how they interact with others, the

work that they choose.

112

:

And then once they are in that designing mode, they move into the last step of the cycle,

which is the flow master.

113

:

And a flow master is the individual who's so aligned and so grounded in conviction they're

that person who just, don't flinch when life reacts to them.

114

:

they're so attuned and that sense of peace.

115

:

And then the Flowmaster reaches out and grabs the wanderer and walks him through the

journey.

116

:

So the cycle is just to identify where are we in this season and what steps we need to

take in order to move from a life of default to a life of design.

117

:

That's such a great framework and I can relate as you were sharing like the different

moments in this cycle.

118

:

And I have a question about like when we feel, when we are going from this state of

119

:

discovering all the possibilities.

120

:

Like we go to the networking events and we start reading books, listen to podcasts.

121

:

And we see there are so many options.

122

:

And at one moment we say, okay, I need to choose one.

123

:

I cannot do everything at once.

124

:

And how can we deal with this feeling of, I might be missing out or what if this is not

the right one?

125

:

What would be your advice?

126

:

Yeah, the fear of missing out FOMO.

127

:

I remember working with uh a teenager who we went into Walmart and I had him the goal was

for him to purchase a car a little car, toy car and He's in the aisle of Walmart and he

128

:

sees all of the cars and he's like there's so many I was like, okay pick your your top

three.

129

:

And then we got it down to three.

130

:

And then he was like, but I can't decide on the one.

131

:

I was like, which one do you least like?

132

:

I was like, well, I don't like that one.

133

:

And then it was two.

134

:

And he was like, but I just want them both.

135

:

I'm like, which one do you least like?

136

:

It was like, well, I like them both.

137

:

I'm like, OK.

138

:

Now I'm going flip a coin, an imaginary coin.

139

:

And if it lands on head, you choose the red one.

140

:

If it lands on blue, you choose the red one, the blue one, the red or blue.

141

:

I flip an imaginary coin.

142

:

I was like, which one?

143

:

And it was like blue.

144

:

I was like, that's your answer.

145

:

So sometimes when we're in a space of there's so much information, there's so much

resource, there's so much option, I would encourage people to start processing and

146

:

filtering

147

:

which one least resonates with me or which one I like the least.

148

:

And once we can do the process of elimination there, now we narrow down to three to five

things that we can do.

149

:

And then the next question was like, which one am I being pulled to the most?

150

:

Not which one is the right one or the wrong one.

151

:

Where am I getting pulled to the most?

152

:

And then based off that, our intuition is usually leading us in the right direction.

153

:

And then the next step would be a moment of surrender.

154

:

If I'm making the right decision, then all things will work out for me.

155

:

If I'm making the wrong decision, I am open to change.

156

:

And now that allows us to feel that courage and that encouragement to say, I'm gonna lean

in this direction and if I need to make it a pivot, I can be adaptable and I can adjust to

157

:

make another decision.

158

:

Indecision is a formative decision and then what happens is that compound effect happens.

159

:

It affects our, our, our, uh,

160

:

our confidence when we can't make a decision, then we're no longer confident in ourselves,

then we no longer trust ourselves to make a decision.

161

:

So it's the back to what you're talking about earlier.

162

:

It's the skill building of building confidence and confidence is making a decision,

trusting yourself and then doing the same thing over and over and over.

163

:

OK, I trust myself to make this decision is equivalent to a bird.

164

:

They're not afraid of the branch breaking,

165

:

because they're confident in their ability to fly.

166

:

And I would say the same thing for us is we shouldn't be afraid of making the wrong

decision.

167

:

We should be afraid of making no decision.

168

:

I appreciate what you say about there's no right or wrong choice here.

169

:

And when you were telling this, when this kid, where this person landed to that narrow it

down to two options, it's like, well, there's no wrong choice here.

170

:

There's like, can be either of those.

171

:

When you narrow it down sufficiently, it's like, you can go with, they're fine.

172

:

Yeah, it's literally and the beauty about life is I believe like the myth of wrong clarity

is that we have to have it all figured out and and we're not God to figure everything out.

173

:

I believe clarity is the next right step and I believe also that life is a teacher.

174

:

If it's not the greatest experience, it's gonna teach us something.

175

:

If it's a great experience, it's gonna teach.

176

:

So either way we learn and I believe if we can find the pain in the lesson, then that's

purposeful.

177

:

It's not wasted.

178

:

Yeah.

179

:

Talking about tools, you also developed this clarity archetype quiz.

180

:

And tell us more, can you tell us more about how knowing our archetype help us?

181

:

How can we learn?

182

:

How can we grow or lead better?

183

:

Yeah, so the the archetype quiz is going back to the cycle like what is your state

currently and whether you're a wanderer a seeker an architect or flow master and then the

184

:

quiz allows individuals to It gets real detailed.

185

:

So when somebody completes its quiz, it shows you how you interact with people.

186

:

So usually wanderers their relationships are very passive.

187

:

So they're like, you know, should we go out somewhere?

188

:

I don't

189

:

know maybe what's your thoughts?

190

:

Is very passive, and then the Seeker's like my goodness there's a movie that come out like

we need to go like they're that energy, and then the architects like so I created an

191

:

itinerary for everyone to come on this this trip and there's just like the real detail

person, and the flow master is like you know what let's just kind of glow with go with the

192

:

flow and let's let's have a plan but be open to all

193

:

So it shows us how we interact with others and how we continue to level up because again a

cycle It's it's not a stationary place like you don't get to a place like the flow master

194

:

because different seasons allows us to start at the beginning of...

195

:

when we start a new job when we get in a relationship when when life when we go through a

life transition, we start as a wanderer a death of a loved one and then we constantly go

196

:

through those cycles.

197

:

But the goal is to know where you're at and know the steps

198

:

to get to where you want to be to live a life of design.

199

:

Hmm.

200

:

That's beautiful.

201

:

Thank you for sharing that.

202

:

am thinking about finding more clarity.

203

:

Let's say that someone is feeling quite stuck.

204

:

And what would be the first step you would recommend?

205

:

Is it about reflection?

206

:

Is it about thinking or is it about taking action?

207

:

Would you recommend something else?

208

:

Yeah, that's such a powerful question.

209

:

And it's a real question, right?

210

:

Oftentimes as speakers and motivational people, we can get to the mountaintop and we can

forget what it was like when we were in that confused, chaotic, unclear space.

211

:

So that individuals who feel stuck, I would first say, I see you, I hear you and I've been

there.

212

:

And all the feelings that you're feeling, they're all valid.

213

:

I just want to validate that.

214

:

And the next step I would encourage that individual would be find a meditation that allows

you to first get grounded before we can open up our minds to the paradigms of the

215

:

possibilities.

216

:

We first have to get grounded and we have to move out of that survival brain to our

prefrontal cortex.

217

:

So I would encourage meditation of just groundedness and just, okay.

218

:

I am here, I am present, I love me, like first grounded.

219

:

And then the next step would be who in my world, in the spaces and places that I'm in,

that I admire their characteristics and their confidence, not just arrogant, because

220

:

people can be boisterous, but that quiet, authentic confidence and confidence in

221

:

we can understand those individuals because they easily get compliments without needing

just like, look at me, look at me.

222

:

So like finding people who resemble or emulate or radiate clarity in their lives.

223

:

then just so

224

:

put ourselves around them.

225

:

If we don't know where we're going, be around people who at least know where they're

going.

226

:

And eventually, like my grandfather would say, tell me who your friends are, I'll tell you

where your future goes.

227

:

And that's a lesson that I stuck with forever.

228

:

was just like surround yourself with

229

:

people who emulate and radiate clarity or certainty or confidence.

230

:

And then eventually it's going to start rubbing off.

231

:

And then you take your next steps of exploring yourself, exploring what's in alignment,

and then start designing a life of, okay, what are my values?

232

:

Who am I becoming?

233

:

Who am I serving?

234

:

What, what lights me up?

235

:

And

236

:

we can start exploring that, before we can explore that, we have to get grounded.

237

:

Such a powerful thing that the way where we put ourselves and the importance of the

context, those we're spending time with and people who are influencing us.

238

:

Yeah.

239

:

And you mentioned meditation as a tool and something that helps us get more grounded.

240

:

And when you're working with high achievers and people who might be confusing sometimes,

or they might be tempted to push through productivity and try to be as productive as

241

:

possible.

242

:

I imagine that meditation or might be one of the things that you...

243

:

recommend to people to slow down.

244

:

What are other tools that you offer the clients, the people you support to slow down and

connect with what really matters to them?

245

:

Yeah, so one of the things that I love working with clients and a number of them started

implementing this and start seeing like the transformation in their lives is a C5 model.

246

:

And if we can look through the lens through the C5 model, what happens is we start making

better decisions and better decisions lead us to better outcomes, better outcome leads us

247

:

to a life that's more in alignment.

248

:

So the first C in the C5 model is capacity.

249

:

So the question is,

250

:

Am I growing my capacity?

251

:

Am I growing my ability to hold the responsibilities that I've been given?

252

:

Am I stretching or am I just being uh comfortable?

253

:

And then the second C is, is competency.

254

:

Another skill development is like, am I growing in my skill set to get the job done?

255

:

So as a leader, one of the biggest things that I have to think about is the people that I

serve.

256

:

So if I'm serving them and my goal is to level them up, I have to be better in my

communication.

257

:

I have to be better in my conflict resolution.

258

:

I got to be better in my vision casting.

259

:

I got to be better in my, my operational skill set, my technical skills, as well as my, my

soft skills.

260

:

So it's the

261

:

competency of things and then the third C is courage.

262

:

Am I doing things outside of my comfort zone that's going to stretch me and expand me and

John Maxwell talks about the leadership lid so the people around me will grow and expand

263

:

as much as I grow and expand.

264

:

But if I'm not growing in my courage, isn't forcing me to outside of my comfort zone, I'm

eventually, I'm gonna be complacent and then eventually I'm gonna expire.

265

:

So courage is not the absence of fear, but the presence of faith.

266

:

And then we move into the fourth seed, which is connection.

267

:

Connection is who are the people in my life that that helps me move forward towards the

vision the values and the vehicles that I want to use.

268

:

Who are connectors?

269

:

Are these connections and relationships moving me forward or are they keeping me in a

cage?

270

:

And then the last C of the C5 model is curiosity.

271

:

Am I adopting and practicing the mindset of a learner?

272

:

Like what can this teach me or am I adopting

273

:

the mindset as an expert.

274

:

Like I've arrived and I know it all.

275

:

I have 27 million years of experience.

276

:

Ask me I'm the Oracle, right?

277

:

So it's like keeping up because

278

:

curiosity keeps us open, keeps us adaptable, keeps us agile, and then it keeps us evolving

because I believe we can only do one or two things, expire or evolve.

279

:

And if we practice the C5 models of building our capacity, building our competency,

stretching in our courage, finding the right connections and being curious, I believe that

280

:

framework and tool that my clients have used, they've seen great transformation in their

lives.

281

:

And more importantly, they've seen the transformation

282

:

in the lives of those around them.

283

:

I see this like super applicable to learning and skill building in general and in life.

284

:

It's wonderful.

285

:

I love this.

286

:

And I really like what you say about courage and for leaders, what it means.

287

:

And what I heard is that if I'm not an inspiring leader, if I'm not embodying courage, I'm

not being a role model for that, for

288

:

the people in my team.

289

:

That might be a problem, right?

290

:

and could you give us some examples of what does it look like courage and learning or

decision making in life in general?

291

:

What are some examples that you could share with us?

292

:

Yeah, let's say like courage looks like doing something scary and scary isn't jumping out

of a plane, granted I did that and that's amazing but it isn't that courage is having that

293

:

difficult conversation, courage is advocating for your needs, courage is

294

:

is speaking up when others shy away.

295

:

So one of the things in psychology is the bystander effect.

296

:

When someone sees something going on, they don't say anything because somebody else will

say something.

297

:

And something that I've always gotten in trouble for to this very day, and I'm okay with

it, is I speak up when other people aren't speaking up.

298

:

It's a mindset and a heart set of

299

:

just I'm a leader and sometimes that means making things uncomfortable to get the right

thing.

300

:

So courage is going against the current and going against the grain.

301

:

You're willing to put yourself in that uncomfortable situation.

302

:

And you mentioned something about faith.

303

:

And when we were talking about courage and fear.

304

:

So this is not about not feeling fear or not having any fear.

305

:

Could you tell us more about that and the place of faith and how this all this plays out?

306

:

Yeah, and I'm an amateur boxer right now.

307

:

And one of the things as a fighter is we all feel fear.

308

:

Like it's a very real thing.

309

:

It's a very, it's a protective thing.

310

:

It keeps us safe.

311

:

But courage is saying, I feel the fear, but I'm not letting the fear control me.

312

:

And a lot of us, we, are so paralyzed to the fear and like, I don't want to do it.

313

:

And it's just like, I

314

:

And that's courage.

315

:

It's feeling the fear and doing it anyway.

316

:

So when I step into the ring with a lot of good fighters, even sparring partners, I'm

like, man, this guy's tough.

317

:

But I'm going to show up anyways because that's the only way I level up.

318

:

I don't back down from a fight.

319

:

And that's caused me to level up.

320

:

And it's just like, I feel it every single day.

321

:

I think about getting knocked out.

322

:

I think about losing.

323

:

But I'm like, OK.

324

:

But if I focus on my training, going back to my

325

:

competency, then when fear show up and my body feels it, my muscle remembers it.

326

:

So that's what separates athletes from like the ordinary folks who don't play a sport,

professional athletes.

327

:

Most athletes or most people do things so they get it right.

328

:

Athletes do things so they never get it wrong.

329

:

And if we can adopt that mindset when we feel fear, we still do it anyways because we've

been training so long for it.

330

:

So you feel the fear and do it anyway.

331

:

That's so good for, I'm thinking of people learning languages and when they have that,

fear of speaking with natives and practicing conversation.

332

:

That's another type of difficult conversation when you are like vulnerable in that you are

learning the language and you know that you're making mistakes.

333

:

That would be like another type of difficult conversation, right?

334

:

Yes.

335

:

Um

336

:

Can you tell me more about myths that you see around clarity or success that people have

in your coaching practice?

337

:

And how do these myths or limiting beliefs are holding people back from real growth?

338

:

Yeah, that's a great question.

339

:

I think that the biggest myth, again, is going to speak to how we essentially have to have

it all figured out.

340

:

And the biggest misconception I think about for success is that

341

:

we tend to focus on the outward success versus the internal success.

342

:

And oftentimes, we are externally successful, but we're internally unsuccessful.

343

:

So we might be winning in life in different areas on the outside, but we're actually

passing away on the inside.

344

:

So one of the things that I struggled with earlier on in my career is that I was

succeeding on the outside, but my marriage at the time was failing.

345

:

You often think, okay, success from the external eyes is the only thing that matters, but

I believe true success is living a life of fulfillment.

346

:

And fulfillment is, do I feel satisfied?

347

:

Do I enjoy what I'm doing with who I'm doing?

348

:

And then the biggest myth around clarity is that we have to have it all figured out.

349

:

And I've had this challenge with a lot of my clients and they're just like, why, I just

don't know my vision.

350

:

You don't have to know your vision yet, but you have to take the next step.

351

:

It's literally like going on a road trip with a car, when we're going on a road, we can

only see driving at night to the 400, maybe 600 feet ahead of us, but that's all we can

352

:

see.

353

:

And as we continue to drive, we have the destination in our GPS because we believe that

we're going to get there.

354

:

So we keep on going, but most of us are just like, I have to have, I have to see the

directions I have to see,

355

:

the destination, I gotta feel it's just like no just take your next right step.

356

:

So I would say those are the two biggest hurdles to overcome and when I start getting my

clients to start adopting this mindset, every day make progress, every day find clarity

357

:

and marry the process because the outcome is inevitable.

358

:

Once I start getting them in the process and the practices of taking that next right step

359

:

then they stop trying to attach themselves emotionally to an outcome.

360

:

And the thing about success is if we attach ourself, our identity and our worth to an

outcome, if we don't achieve that outcome, now we feel worthless.

361

:

But if we attach ourselves to the process, then whatever outcome comes, then our worth

comes from what we do, not what we gain.

362

:

And as a learner, when I used to teach in education a couple of years ago, one of the

things I would often praise my, had pre-K all the way to 12th grade, I would praise the

363

:

kids not on what they achieve.

364

:

Like if they got an A on an assignment, that's cool, good job.

365

:

But I was more celebratory on like, what did you do to get that?

366

:

And I was I did this.

367

:

And I was like, yo, like that's amazing.

368

:

And praising the process.

369

:

Now they can take that process and apply it to anything else.

370

:

But that outcome, that A can't follow you at a job.

371

:

That A can't follow you in your marriage.

372

:

So it's like, we often praise outcomes, but it's the process that actually gets us there.

373

:

That's much more useful and much more helpful to focus more on that process and the

benefits of staying there, doing that work, being detached from the outcome.

374

:

That's wonderful.

375

:

And you know that you use, you have, we have talked about the clarity cycle and in terms

of personal development practices, like journaling, or we talked about meditation.

376

:

What are the practices that tend to accelerate transformation the most for your clients in

your experience?

377

:

Community.

378

:

One thing I've learned is no matter how much motivational tapes you listen to, no matter

how many books you read, no matter how much you journal, if the environment in which

379

:

you're in is not conducive and expansive, we fall default to our environment.

380

:

if I love therapy and I went to therapy to deal with my trauma,

381

:

but my healing didn't start, like it wasn't in therapy.

382

:

It was a start, and it started in therapy, but my true healing and transformation happened

when I started to surround myself with people who inspire me, who challenge me.

383

:

So like being in that, it's like being on a sports team, and I make a lot of sports

references because I played college football.

384

:

And the teams that I played on where we won a lot is because a lot of the people around us

had that winning mindset.

385

:

And I played Pop Warner football when I was a kid and we would lose a lot because a lot of

the people around me had losing mindset.

386

:

So no matter how much I wanted to win, if the people around me wanted to lose, that we

tend to fall default to the community.

387

:

So true and lasting transformation.

388

:

It happens in community.

389

:

And one of the questions that I always ask my clients when they're like, I'm doing all the

right things.

390

:

I'm doing this.

391

:

I'm doing that.

392

:

I say, all right, who's the people in your community?

393

:

They're like, oh, And if that, if they're not getting encouraged at home or the spaces

that they're in, eventually that...

394

:

where negativity wears and tears any positive person.

395

:

Yeah.

396

:

Yeah.

397

:

And what about the people who are listening to us right now and they know that they are

not, might not be in the, surrounded by the right people or the people who can't propel

398

:

them towards their desired future.

399

:

And I've heard of people and I've met people who said, I don't know where my community is

or I don't know where or how to find these people.

400

:

What do you say

401

:

to such persons when they are clueless and they don't know even where to start, even

though they know that they are not surrounded by the people they want to be surrounded

402

:

with.

403

:

Now, I would say become the magnet, not the hustler.

404

:

And what I mean by that, and I've heard a number of people say this, it's like, where do I

look?

405

:

Where do I look?

406

:

It starts with you.

407

:

It starts with you.

408

:

And when I say magnet is create, create a lighthouse where people are naturally magnetized

to, attracted to.

409

:

So for example, doing a podcast.

410

:

So I would assume you get to meet Walter, you get to meet amazing human beings by just

having a conversation with them who I would presume to say that they share the same

411

:

mindset as you of growth, of possibility, of learning, of skill building.

412

:

So you're creating your community, whether it's...

413

:

digitally or virtually and then through these little moments and then sometimes it's

locally like you're creating a you're using a platform to call the right people versus

414

:

sitting idle and like where where are the people the only people coming to knock at your

door at a Jehovah Witness and just like some sales guy, but everybody else they're not

415

:

gonna come in and how do they know and that's why a lot of businesses do all this

marketing

416

:

is because, we have to tell you what we do.

417

:

And if we're just waiting for someone to say, hey, I wanna be in your circle, then we're

gonna be very disappointed.

418

:

I would encourage people, if they don't wanna do a podcast, that's probably a lot.

419

:

Talk about the things that you care about on social media.

420

:

Like within reason, like, and that's the beauty of diversity.

421

:

There's people who share strong opinions that I don't share.

422

:

Hey, there's a group for you.

423

:

There's a group of people that resonate with.

424

:

So it's talking about and sharing the things that you share, that you care about.

425

:

And then the right people are gonna be attracted to it.

426

:

And then you strike up conversations and that's how you start.

427

:

But inaction is not gonna lead to anything.

428

:

But if you take action, use the platforms and the resources you have.

429

:

you'll start attracting those people and don't think you have to have a mass following.

430

:

It's just like, if you have 10 followers, you can find at least two people who think the

way you think and then you can connect with them.

431

:

I want to stress what you say about not waiting and getting in action.

432

:

So this is also connected to what you mentioned at the beginning in terms of consuming

versus producing.

433

:

And what I hear what you're saying is about contribution, contributing to others.

434

:

And that can be enough.

435

:

There are options.

436

:

You can go create your podcast or YouTube channel,

437

:

or you can share a comment on something or you can post something.

438

:

And that difference between, I'm just watching someone's video or reading a post or am I

willing to post something myself?

439

:

Or am I willing to comment when somebody creates something?

440

:

Am I starting a conversation?

441

:

Am I engaging with others or just like passively consuming and

442

:

using what others are doing?

443

:

And that sounds like, sounds like a great first step in putting things into motion and

connecting with others.

444

:

Yeah, in theory and in practicality, it's real simple, but I think the missing piece is

courage.

445

:

People are afraid of being rejected, and I think that's what keeps people in that limited

mindset.

446

:

And I would challenge people to really consider, are you more afraid of rejection or

regret?

447

:

And if you're afraid of regret, you're going to be rejected a lot.

448

:

But if you're afraid of rejection, you're going to regret a lot.

449

:

if whatever you decide, those two things are going to happen.

450

:

For me personally, I'm afraid of regret.

451

:

So I get rejected a lot more times than I get received.

452

:

But at the end of the day, I've taken more swings at the bat than I have not.

453

:

So,

454

:

I would challenge people to like, what really drives you, regret or rejection?

455

:

If rejection drives you, you're gonna regret a lot more at the end of your life, but if

regret drives you, you're gonna be rejected, and that's part of the process.

456

:

David, we are coming towards the end of this conversation and I wanted to ask you, is

there anything that you'd like to share that I haven't asked you so far, that you'd like

457

:

to mention?

458

:

Yeah, I have a book called Finding Clarity and this book Finding Clarity, goes through the

clarity cycle, the C5 model, and so many more frameworks.

459

:

And clarity is not just the what to do, it's the how to do it.

460

:

And oftentimes we get told...

461

:

what to do and we're just like, okay, I'm motivated, but how do I use this?

462

:

It's very practical.

463

:

It's very, it's very conversational.

464

:

And if you're on a journey of leveling up and tired of living on default and just like,

you know what this, this isn't my best.

465

:

This book is for you.

466

:

Or if you're in a position of transition, whatever life transition that you're in, this

book is for you.

467

:

So you can visit that on davidbprosper.com And there's so many more bonuses that I

468

:

have if you visit the site.

469

:

Excellent.

470

:

Thank you for that.

471

:

And so people can find more about you on your website that you just shared.

472

:

And would you like to share more about how can people connect with you or the type of work

that you do?

473

:

Yeah, 100%.

474

:

So I'm on all social media platforms, but I live on Instagram at I am prosper one

underscore.

475

:

I am prosper one underscore.

476

:

Connect with me there.

477

:

I would love to have a conversation with you and to hear your story because I believe I'm

just a clarity architect, a clarity guy coming alongside of individuals like yourselves.

478

:

So let's connect.

479

:

Let's see how we can collaborate.

480

:

And I would love to connect you on Instagram,

481

:

there or you can go on my site davidbprosper.com those are the two places I respond and

I'm there frequently so I'd love to connect.

482

:

Awesome.

483

:

Thank you, David, for your presence here today.

484

:

It was wonderful learning with you and learning more about finding how can we get more

clarity in our lives, in our learning, and in general.

485

:

It was wonderful.

486

:

Thank you for having me.

487

:

I'm excited to be here.

Chapters

Video

More from YouTube