Lacey:
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Welcome to No Shame in Our Game where we do self-help together.
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I am Lacey.
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a little frazzled, but here your co-host
along with my fellow co-host Sarah.
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Hi Sarah.
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Sara: Lacey yes A little frazzled is
okay cause we've all got something
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going on It's all okay However you're
showing up this morning I'm a little
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Scattered We can't wait for things
to be perfect people You gotta just
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ahead It's gonna be messy You make the
best of it and you keep on laughing
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Lacey: That's something we're good at.
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We're good at continuing
to giggle and laugh.
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well today I'm excited because I realized
as I was like getting everything ready to
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come up here today, it gives us another
opportunity to talk about practical hug
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and how Practical Hug is gonna work.
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So, one of the big reasons why
Sarah and I have shifted to the term
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practical hug is because we want.
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To give you tools to use in different
parts of your life that support you,
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that's practical, but also a hug.
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'cause it support, see
practical hug, boom.
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It goes together.
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Anyway, so today we're gonna,
last week or last time we talked
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about the joyful support tool.
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So that's one of our tools.
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And today we're gonna talk about another
one of our tools, which is good, better,
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best, if I had to say, is probably the
one I use the most in my day to day life.
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Sara: Yes this is such a funny thing
of these tools are so great and I'm
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so much better at explaining them and
prompting other people to use them I need
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somebody to prompt me to use them cause
good better best is super useful And
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in preparation for this Lacey actually
said to me why don't we talk about good
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better best and you preparing for your
trip And so I've been for the past 24
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hours been good Better besting my trip
in my head and I'm like oh this is
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really helpful I I need to remember all
the time that there are options It's
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not done or not done There's variations
which as I will explain I very much need
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the variations at this moment in my life
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Lacey: I, well, the first thing that
I wanna make sure we talk about is
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good, better, best is for tasks, but
it can also be like for prioritization
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and all these different things.
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But when we look at it based off of tasks.
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One of like the key things that you
need to like think about first is
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a little bit of a mindset shift.
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Okay?
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So we have this term that we use
a lot called the bare minimum,
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and it's got a negative context,
like the bare minimum is bad.
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You shouldn't be doing the bare minimum.
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the bare minimum is done.
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And that's, that's kind of the, the
change in your mental state as you're
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going through these should be, is that
the bare minimum means it means done.
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We're not judging anything.
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It's done.
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And guess what?
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Done equals good.
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Boom.
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That's our foundation.
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Yeah.
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Good equals done.
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And done is good.
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Not done.
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Not good that that, you know, obviously
it's much grayer than that, but that's
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a big shift I think for a lot of
people to the, to have that I, that
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realization of like, oh, maybe the
bare minimum isn't the worst thing.
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Maybe the bare minimum is a foundation.
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Sara: Yes and like you said it is a mind
shift because I think our audience is
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primarily Women who like to take care of
others like to give like to support like
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to show up right But there's this societal
whispering that we've had our whole
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life of yeah you're gonna show up and
you're gonna show up over the top perfect
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Pinterest perfect Martha Stewart Perfect
If you're gonna bring cookies to that
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baked sale they better be organic made
from scratch fresh out of the oven wrapped
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with a perfect bow And it's even though
we're not always showing up like that
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Even if we show up with the good enough
we beat ourselves up So it's not only
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knowing what is the good and the better
and the best version it is also accepting
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good Yeah let's celebrate It's not about
beating yourself up for not doing the
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best the organic from scratch cookies Hey
you showed up with napkins Guess what you
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contributed You get a gold adulting star
Guess what That's awesome There's no full
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stop There's no beating yourself up you
showed up If you had more time energy and
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money perhaps you would've shown up with
a different version for that bake sale I
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could stand on a stage and talk for hours
about this so I'm gonna try really hard
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to bring it down to a 30 minute podcast
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Lacey: I learned this tool at
probably one of the best times of
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my life of when I was chronically
learning to be chronically ill, in
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my new world and that kind of stuff.
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, It's really interesting
because best wasn't possible.
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Like, and, and that's a, that was
a really big mind shift for me of
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like, oh, I can't achieve that.
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That is not something that I
am able to achieve anymore.
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Once I was able to give myself that
permission of like, oh, this doesn't
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really exist, then I got to really
redefine a lot of my life and what,
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what actually needs to happen.
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I also realized I, as a recovering
pre perfectionist, was always
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operating at best at a minimum.
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And that is just one, not
realistic at all for me anyway,
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but wasn't realistic for me before.
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It doesn't always have to be that way.
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, I got permission from the world
because my body stopped working.
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So you don't have to go through that.
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I'm giving you permission now to,
to not always have to be best to
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recognize what is done and what is good.
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yeah.
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Sara: and a couple of interesting things
from that is you could also then adjust
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what best looks like now with chronic
illness there could be a best from pre
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chronic illness that isn't even on the
spectrum anymore Like that just it's not
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even an you know so you new best could
look totally different When you said
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recovering perfectionist that was always
your line And I'm always like yeah I'm
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not a perfectionist I'm fine But recently
I had a very self-awareness conversation
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with my sister Where we were talking
about how I got to this position where
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I've been incapacitated on the couch
debilitating back pain And she was like
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what could you simplify And I was like
what do you mean life is pretty basic
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And she's you do complicate you do overly
complicate a few things in your life and
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I never really saw it as Perfectionism
So I guess we get to be aware that we
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can hide that word in different places
I was always thinking yeah but it's the
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most logical thing to do or it's the
most like I had different words I was
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using when in reality I was just masking
that I was trying to always do Secretly
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the backdoor best perfectionist version
but calling it something else I'm like
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this one just makes the most sense to
do it this way To go to five different
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grocery stores to get the most cost
effective soup and cereal And in reality
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I was draining my resource Becks when I
could have just done good enough which
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is to just go onto one grocery store
website and just get everything for
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pickup from one plate Oh we're having
some real time self discovery here people
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Lacey: Yeah, I mean, I, if I am the
poster child for anything, it's,
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it's, grocery delivery at this point.
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Our grocery has like a, a membership
plan that you can pay like 60 bucks
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a year and get free grocery delivery.
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It has changed our lives because
it can come no matter what.
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And it can mean that we can
meal plan however we need.
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We're not like calculating a whole
bunch of stuff along with it.
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And by eliminate, this is an
interesting one, by eliminating that
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best, we have gotten better with
our like food and and meal prep.
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So they're all interconnected
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Sara: It
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Lacey: that's more resource
buckets, which we'll talk about
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at some point in the future.
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Sara: No this is that's like
such a great insight Good better
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besting in one area can help you
good better best in another area
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Lacey: we really need to actually
explain what we're talking about.
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We, we've kind of alluded to it,
but just to be very clear, good,
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better, best is taking a few minutes.
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To really think about what
needs to be accomplished, like
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what will accomplish this goal.
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So my favorite example is a breakfast.
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'cause I think everyone
can kind of relate to that.
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What do you need at breakfast?
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You need to be able to be satiated enough
to go to throughout your day, right?
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To get to the next meal,
that kind of thing.
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so what society might tell us is
breakfast is the most important meal
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of the day, don't you know, and you
gotta have so much protein and make
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sure you get those veggies in as well.
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Whole grains don't, don't come in
there with this, like non whole
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grains stuff, wipe bread or like all
these different messages, right, that
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are like, okay, this is the perfect
breakfast to do what you need to do.
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So that's best.
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Right.
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It exists.
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It's there.
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It's the best breakfast that you
could have to optimize your day.
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But in reality, if you just need
a protein bar, boom, accomplished,
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you've met the goal, you know, you,
you don't need some elaborate, you
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know, avocado toast with, you know,
fresh eggs and no you protein bar.
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Boom.
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That's good.
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You've met the goal done and then
better is somewhere between the two.
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Maybe it's some overnight oats with,
do you put overnight oatmeal and over?
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I don't, I I'm oat milk.
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I'm not a, I'm not an alternate milk gal.
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We just do regular milk.
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I get really confused by all those,
you know, with some berries and
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then, you know, you throw hard boiled
eggs in and there's your pro like.
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You've kind of created a menu.
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A menu?
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Sara: I'm sorry Did you just put
hard-boiled eggs inside Overnight oats
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Lacey: No, no, no.
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As a like side.
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So like you, when you're looking
at your breakfast plate, you've
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got overnight oats, you've got
hardboiled eggs, you got berries.
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Sara: was like I don't know what you do
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Lacey: No,
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Sara: but I'm not okay with that
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Lacey: Although I have seen something
about savory overnight oats, I've never
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tried or experimented with it, but yeah.
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So it, but what it is, is you
have created a menu of options for
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yourself to create, to finish a task.
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Sara: Menu of options I love that
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Lacey: everyone accomplishes the goal.
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Everyone's good.
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You got a little more time,
you got a little more energy.
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Boom, better if you are killing it at
life today, you have the all the time
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in the world to make that breakfast.
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Best you get those macros, fiber stuff in.
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Otherwise your protein bar's
just fine and it's good.
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Good.
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You accomplished it.
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That's good.
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Better, best.
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Sara: we're leaving on a trip and I'm
comfortable sharing this cause this
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podcast won't come out until after the
trip Hello future Sarah So we're gonna
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be going on a trip and as I alluded to
with the five different grocery stores
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and the best price right Like I have a
very particular pre-trip planning I like
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my house to be clean I want the trash
emptied I want all the dishes done I want
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the whole house the back I want everything
so clean that when I come home it feels
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good And realistically we have a dog
sitter who comes and stays at our house
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So there is a kindness involved in that
So there's the pre like getting the house
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ready then there's also the packing and
making sure that I have all the stuff The
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actual getting to the trip So there's two
parts that I'm good better besting but
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with the getting the house ready I already
know I told myself this morning best isn't
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happening Like I I got to just erase I
got to just cross that off So I'm really
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focusing on good enough I'm like okay the
dogs sitter needs clean sheets to sleep on
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I'm assigning cleaning the bathroom she's
gonna be using to my kiddo So I'm like
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okay clean sheets clean bathroom Okay So
actually I think if I stopped there I'd be
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okay It's it makes me a little itchy but
I'm like you know what that's where I am
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And that's what it needs to be from that
If we can get the whole house vacuumed I
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can get someone to take out the trash and
then ideally not me but somebody in my
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house would do the dishes before we leave
so that all the dishes are clean yeah So
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in between having the house immaculate
and just having the sheets clean and the
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bathroom clean there's some wiggle room
but I'm going to be okay And guess what
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My dog's gonna be okay And my dog sitter's
gonna be okay just good enough happens
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Lacey: Also, first of all,
don't say just good enough.
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Good is good.
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Stop qualifying it, miss,
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Sara: Thank
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Lacey: and it's not,
it's not gonna be okay.
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It's gonna be good.
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Everyone's getting what they need.
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You know, I, I, I don't know if
you need a compliment from your dog
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sitter on how well your house is kept.
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I'm gonna say no.
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You know, so I just, I think,
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Sara: Wait hold
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Lacey: good it.
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Sara: I need a compliment from everyone
I am So my my human design I am so
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compliment hungry It's also my Enneagram
design I am yes So that is something We
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are talking from the trenches of life
from we are in the messy middles with
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you people So I am real time discovering
as much as I say like your house is not
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a reflection of you It's totally okay
We all need to open our doors Like I
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need to actually embody that Okay This
is okay We're doing some deep work here
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Lacey: Love it.
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Love everything about it.
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Absolutely.
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Sara: I feel like because I've
said this on the podcast like I
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get to hold myself true to this Now
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Lacey: Well, I mean I look forward
to future Sarah hearing it too.
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'cause I, if I had to guess,
she's gonna need to hear it too.
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Sara: if you just there it's okay
No matter what your house looks
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like when you leave it's okay
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Lacey: Girl.
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You're doing great.
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Way to go.
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Sara: so that's the one That's the one
Good better best And then my other good
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better best is I've really and again I'm
so thankful Lacey prompted me to use this
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tool Again this is I'm helping myself but
I'm doing it with Lacey She prompted me
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She reminded me and I'm like okay what
is the bare minimum I need to pack what
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is what could I absolutely be Would it be
unrealistic to have to buy down there so
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my prescription medications which let's be
honest I have a whole Ziploc bag full of
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those now So my prescription medications
a number one I have to have it would be a
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lot easier if I bring my own swimsuit with
me so I don't have to go swimsuit shopping
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Lacey: Yeah.
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Sara: then some basic clothes So
if my good I have a lot of dreams
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of other things to bring but if
it doesn't happen best is there's
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some games I wanna bring to play
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So yeah I'll be okay I'm gonna
be it's gonna be okay if I
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Lacey: It's gonna be more than, okay,
Sarah, you're gonna have a lovely time.
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You're gonna have what you need, you know?
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It's good.
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Sara: So I made the Valentine's scones
If anybody follows me on threads I made
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Valentine's scones and my dad was a
little jealous because he hasn't had
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one in a long time And so I was thinking
about freezing one and wrapping it
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and then bringing it down to give to
him 'cause that would be really sweet
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But it's okay if that doesn't happen
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Lacey: sorry, Sarah's dad, if it didn't
happen that I think you'll understand.
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Sara: Yeah Yes Everyone understands
I'm coming from a deficit so
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Lacey: Yeah,
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Sara: I think everyone was nervous
I wasn't gonna physically be able
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to make it so I think as long as
I'm physically there that's good
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Lacey: yeah.
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Good.
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See already good.
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Better bested it there already naturally.
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Sara: Yeah I need to use these
tools that I talk about all the time
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I actually have to use the tools
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Lacey: I don't wanna transition.
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Is that, is that how you've
been using the tool or,
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Sara: Yep
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Lacey: oh, okay.
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Sara: I've been using it and I feel
it's been really helpful And now
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00:16:16
I would love to hear your thoughts
282
:
00:16:17
, Lacey: I use good, better, best
literally every day, when I'm
283
:
00:16:20
thinking about my day and what needs
to get done in my prioritization.
284
:
00:16:24
So I use it kind of as a
prioritization tool, where I say, okay.
285
:
00:16:28
Good.
286
:
00:16:28
What do I need to get done today?
287
:
00:16:30
What absolutely needs to happen?
288
:
00:16:32
For example, our newsletter
needs to go out today.
289
:
00:16:35
That's my good for today.
290
:
00:16:36
If the newsletter gets
done, we have nailed it.
291
:
00:16:39
The day is success.
292
:
00:16:41
Boom.
293
:
00:16:42
And then from there I
add on additional things.
294
:
00:16:46
I would like to get our
taxes started today.
295
:
00:16:48
That might be a best,
let's be honest, but still.
296
:
00:16:50
You know, that's still a good thing.
297
:
00:16:52
So it's, it's still, you know,
still if it doesn't get done,
298
:
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it's still a successful day.
299
:
00:16:58
I think especially if you're,
a recovering to do, I know
300
:
00:17:02
Sarah loves a to-do list too.
301
:
00:17:04
I love.
302
:
00:17:04
I love that like crossing
off check mark moment.
303
:
00:17:09
And so if you're a person who also
likes that, this is a way to not feel
304
:
00:17:15
guilty editing down your to-do list.
305
:
00:17:18
'cause the stuff's still there.
306
:
00:17:20
It could still get done, but it's
not a failure if it doesn't get done.
307
:
00:17:24
Sara: It's so funny that you said that
because my to-do list is sitting right
308
:
00:17:27
here and Oh baby Baby is it long But
what's great about this one is it has
309
:
00:17:33
up top top three priorities And you
know what I'm gonna do I'm just gonna
310
:
00:17:36
write what are the three what are the
three that have to get done today That
311
:
00:17:41
would jam me up if they didn't I'm
still learning and growing Oh my gosh
312
:
00:17:46
this is actually uncomfortable for me
313
:
00:17:48
Lacey: I mean, I think I'm just always
used to being a very loud mess, so
314
:
00:17:52
it's not uncomfortable, and I do
always assume you have everything
315
:
00:17:57
together, so you know it is what it is.
316
:
00:18:00
Sara: I've got some opportunity for growth
which is great And honestly being injured
317
:
00:18:05
has really Given me that I don't wanna
say forced because I could go right back
318
:
00:18:09
into my other habits but it's really
given me an opportunity to look at how
319
:
00:18:13
to use our tools which is great because
I'm taking this storytelling class So
320
:
00:18:17
I'm gonna figure out a way to convey all
this to our audience these are the tools
321
:
00:18:22
that I could be using to avoid getting
to this place that I found myself in
322
:
00:18:28
Lacey: Well, and I think, I think
it also points to something else
323
:
00:18:30
that we believe in is we believe
in self-help has always made Sarah
324
:
00:18:35
and I feel a little icky, because
325
:
00:18:38
Sara: wait hold on You say icky I feel
a little bit different about self-help
326
:
00:18:43
Lacey: okay.
327
:
00:18:43
I'm sorry.
328
:
00:18:44
Sara: So you give yours
and then I'll give mine
329
:
00:18:46
Lacey: I think a lot of self-help has
this message that you are broken and
330
:
00:18:51
this one particular thing will fix you.
331
:
00:18:55
And then this puts you into this
mindset that you are a project
332
:
00:18:58
that always needs to be done.
333
:
00:19:00
And I think.
334
:
00:19:02
That's not feasible, like there's
no, there's no like prize,
335
:
00:19:07
there's no end line or finish.
336
:
00:19:10
You're always gonna be, you
know, working on yourself.
337
:
00:19:14
And so I almost just good, better,
best in myself in that second of like,
338
:
00:19:18
oh, if good is, you know, working on
myself a little bit better, is working
339
:
00:19:23
on myself a little bit more Best.
340
:
00:19:26
There really isn't a best.
341
:
00:19:27
I mean, there is a best,
but it's still not done.
342
:
00:19:29
It's still not completed.
343
:
00:19:30
We are not a project to be completed.
344
:
00:19:33
And, because of that, I think having
this mindset and hearing us, you know,
345
:
00:19:38
try to figure stuff out over and over
again is really important because,
346
:
00:19:43
when you have someone who's like a.
347
:
00:19:45
Self-help guru on a stage.
348
:
00:19:47
They're like, you wanna be like me?
349
:
00:19:49
I have reached the pinnacle.
350
:
00:19:50
I am.
351
:
00:19:51
All these things.
352
:
00:19:53
It makes you think that if you
don't get to there, then you failed.
353
:
00:19:56
And that's not, that's not it.
354
:
00:19:59
That's not a thing.
355
:
00:20:00
Sara: I do Yes So a lot of what you said
I resonate with I do wanna just draw
356
:
00:20:06
a couple of differences of what we're
357
:
00:20:08
Lacey: Yeah.
358
:
00:20:08
Sara: table which is good It's good
that we're bringing different points
359
:
00:20:11
of view So first of all let's just say
if you found me in a bookstore you'd
360
:
00:20:14
always find me in the self-help section
I have read I don't even know how many
361
:
00:20:19
self-help books in my life A lot I've
been reading self-help books since I
362
:
00:20:22
was in my teens and I've learned a lot
I call it like the self-help smoothie
363
:
00:20:28
Like I take a little bit from this a
little bit from this and a lot of it is
364
:
00:20:31
also philosophy and mindset So it's not
365
:
00:20:34
Lacey: Yeah.
366
:
00:20:34
Sara: self-help but I agree with you that
there is this unspoken if you do this
367
:
00:20:40
everything will be great and I agree with
you There is no finished project That's
368
:
00:20:46
something that to keep remembering too is
it is an every day what does today look
369
:
00:20:53
like How am I feeling today What is my
goal for today it's not this end goal And
370
:
00:20:58
for me the other thing I really struggled
with self-help and the distinction we're
371
:
00:21:01
drawing with practical hug is that alone
that doing it in a silo I read the book
372
:
00:21:07
I have these great ahas I'm sitting by
myself I'm doing this tool by myself And
373
:
00:21:12
there wasn't that common language with
a lot of other people Sometimes there is
374
:
00:21:17
But I like that we're building practical
hug with the intention of you're not
375
:
00:21:22
doing this alone is my deep seated like
I've always want a little community
376
:
00:21:29
with me everywhere I go so I It is It's
yeah it's scratching all those itches
377
:
00:21:34
which I love having the common language
of the self of the tools self-help What
378
:
00:21:40
we need a different term What's another
379
:
00:21:43
Lacey: Self-improvement, personal growth.
380
:
00:21:45
Sara: Making things less shitty
381
:
00:21:47
Lacey: I am a very future oriented person.
382
:
00:21:50
I, I struggle.
383
:
00:21:52
I'm so fu I have this, I am so future
oriented that when I'm reading books
384
:
00:21:57
or watching something that has a
flashback, I get frustrated because
385
:
00:22:01
I'm like, don't take me backwards.
386
:
00:22:03
Like I am like, okay, we got it.
387
:
00:22:04
We got the message.
388
:
00:22:05
I don't need to hear anymore.
389
:
00:22:07
Let's move forward.
390
:
00:22:08
Sara: I love that our differences
compliment one another
391
:
00:22:11
Lacey: yeah.
392
:
00:22:11
Sara: absolutely cracks me up
beyond belief I love flashbacks
393
:
00:22:15
Lacey: Oh my.
394
:
00:22:16
Sara: the more context the better
395
:
00:22:18
Lacey: I have enough information.
396
:
00:22:19
Move on.
397
:
00:22:19
What's happening?
398
:
00:22:21
Anyway, but because I've always
been so future oriented, I've always
399
:
00:22:25
been focusing on that next thing to
get right, reaching that next goal,
400
:
00:22:30
that next peak, that next thing.
401
:
00:22:32
And as we're talking right now,
I'm realizing, oh, I have been
402
:
00:22:36
creating those artificial end goals.
403
:
00:22:40
And then I get to the end goal
and I'm like, well, now what?
404
:
00:22:42
So if I can.
405
:
00:22:43
I don't wanna say repair,
if I can really look at it.
406
:
00:22:46
I, I actually have, I have
been getting a lot better.
407
:
00:22:49
I still don't like flashbacks by the way.
408
:
00:22:51
I just want that to be very clear.
409
:
00:22:53
This is why I can't do a
second chance romance trope.
410
:
00:22:55
'cause I'm like, yeah, we know you
guys didn't succeed the first time.
411
:
00:22:58
Move along.
412
:
00:23:00
Sara: Noted
413
:
00:23:01
Lacey: Same with friends, still lovers.
414
:
00:23:02
I'm like, yeah, okay.
415
:
00:23:03
You guys have been friends.
416
:
00:23:04
It hasn't happened because
of this, this, and this.
417
:
00:23:06
Got it.
418
:
00:23:07
Move along.
419
:
00:23:08
read a lot of romance
if, if you're new here.
420
:
00:23:10
I have gotten a lot better about being
okay in the present and not focusing
421
:
00:23:16
on getting to a specific future.
422
:
00:23:20
Like, when I was advising students as an
academic advisor, they used to, I would
423
:
00:23:24
talk to 'em about their major, right?
424
:
00:23:26
And they're always worried about.
425
:
00:23:28
Picking the wrong major and I was too.
426
:
00:23:31
but I kind of had this realization and
so this is what I told them of like,
427
:
00:23:35
you are not picking a destination.
428
:
00:23:37
You are picking a pathway.
429
:
00:23:39
And if the path needs
to to move, that's fine.
430
:
00:23:44
As long as you are moving
forward, you are making progress.
431
:
00:23:48
You know, it may wind more than you want
it to, but you're just picking a pathway.
432
:
00:23:53
You're moving forward, you're
doing what you can to reach towards
433
:
00:23:58
a future, not a specific end.
434
:
00:24:02
And, and that, you know, there are
things you can do on the path, right?
435
:
00:24:05
To make you more successful in their case.
436
:
00:24:08
And an internship or a research
opportunity joining this club,
437
:
00:24:12
you're, you're making your path more.
438
:
00:24:15
Get more opportunities, you
know, widen for the future.
439
:
00:24:18
But that doesn't mean that you
need to choose path A or path B.
440
:
00:24:22
There are very rarely splits in your
path that you have to pick one or the
441
:
00:24:26
other, and one is right and one is wrong.
442
:
00:24:28
Sara: I really love this conversation
How it's unfold how it's like how I'm
443
:
00:24:33
seeing this now the tools that we're
doing I hadn't thought about it that way
444
:
00:24:38
Like you were talking about you didn't
the self-help part of if you do this
445
:
00:24:43
you will then be like me at this place
of perfection that's the destination
446
:
00:24:47
Okay If only I do these 10 steps then
I will be like this guru on the stage
447
:
00:24:53
That is where I'm going think what's
great and now I'm just like really seeing
448
:
00:24:58
it is the tools that we are sharing is
today How can you be more comfortable
449
:
00:25:05
today Like it's not about and I didn't
realize that until now It is just how
450
:
00:25:12
you feeling today What do you want to be
more comfortable today right let's look
451
:
00:25:16
at this tool Not as in a there will be a
day where you no longer need these tools
452
:
00:25:22
Lacey: Yeah.
453
:
00:25:22
Sara: and don't think I really
understood that until just now
454
:
00:25:26
That's awesome It's been a monumental
455
:
00:25:29
podcast.
456
:
00:25:30
Lacey: growing, always learning.
457
:
00:25:31
And I will say that is something that I
can always latch onto is gimme something
458
:
00:25:36
to learn, gimme something to, grow.
459
:
00:25:38
Like those are, I love the
experience of learning and so that
460
:
00:25:42
has been something that does make
progress a little easier for me.
461
:
00:25:47
I mean, as Sarah knows, I get
excited about something and it's
462
:
00:25:50
like I will figure everything
out about it and then, you know.
463
:
00:25:54
Switch gears, but.
464
:
00:25:55
Sara: And for me talking about the how
to use these tools and it's the journey
465
:
00:26:00
not the destination which I know that
saying is very cliche but I used to beat
466
:
00:26:04
myself up when I used to read all those
self-help books by myself And I would
467
:
00:26:08
get I'd read them I'd have an aha moment
and then six months later I would a day
468
:
00:26:13
later let's be honest I'd be back in pain
Emotional pain And then I would get a
469
:
00:26:18
reminder about whatever that was and I'd
be like I already read this Why do I have
470
:
00:26:23
to read this again Why am I not doing
this I always felt like no I read it once
471
:
00:26:28
I should know it I should be doing it
I should be embodying it after this one
472
:
00:26:33
reading of this book But like we're saying
here it's just it's doing it over and over
473
:
00:26:38
learning to use it in different ways That
is the distinction Our tool is about tools
474
:
00:26:44
Lacey: But I think the other part of it
is it's very easy when you get into those
475
:
00:26:48
spaces that you stay stagnant, right?
476
:
00:26:52
So we're not saying use the tools
to just, you know, put a bandaid
477
:
00:26:57
on it or that kind of stuff.
478
:
00:26:58
Yes, it might put a bandaid on it,
but it's also this element of forward.
479
:
00:27:03
Momentum just doing something,
anything to not feel stuck.
480
:
00:27:09
'cause not everyone is like
me who's like, excuse me, what
481
:
00:27:12
do you mean there's a problem?
482
:
00:27:13
I'm gonna fix a problem.
483
:
00:27:14
Why would we sit here in the problem?
484
:
00:27:15
And I may or may not live
with people like that.
485
:
00:27:18
And it's really changed my
mindset of like, oh, not
486
:
00:27:22
everyone's like there's a problem.
487
:
00:27:23
I'm gonna fix it and then move along.
488
:
00:27:25
And so this this element of.
489
:
00:27:28
Still forward momentum while, you
know, taking what you need in the
490
:
00:27:32
moment, that's what it's all about.
491
:
00:27:34
Sara: Which is why I love the Joyful
Support Tool because I was easily stuck
492
:
00:27:41
in the story and the discomfort What I
love what I say to people and what I love
493
:
00:27:46
about the Joyful Support tool is it gives
you momentum right you don't get stuck
494
:
00:27:50
in the uncomfortable story You don't get
overwhelmed by just trying to do toxic
495
:
00:27:55
positivity to will yourself someplace
It's like a little bit of story a little
496
:
00:27:59
bit of joy and then the step is your
momentum So it's acknowledge movement
497
:
00:28:04
And same with good better best cause if
best feels undoable in this moment then
498
:
00:28:10
You might feel stuck to do anything.
499
:
00:28:11
But if you can find the better the
good or the better version that might
500
:
00:28:16
give you momentum and who knows If
you start with the good you might
501
:
00:28:21
get momentum to check some off The
better or not it doesn't matter We
502
:
00:28:25
appreciate you We adore you either way
503
:
00:28:28
Lacey: Good is done.
504
:
00:28:29
Way to go.
505
:
00:28:30
Did I make that like a little audio clip
that we just start sticking in places.
506
:
00:28:35
Good is done.
507
:
00:28:35
Way to go.
508
:
00:28:36
Sara: that's a button that you get
to hit in your house when you do
509
:
00:28:38
something it's just yep I microwaved
the chicken nuggets and the peas and
510
:
00:28:44
you hit the button Good enough is done
511
:
00:28:46
Lacey: I heard, protein.
512
:
00:28:48
I heard a carb, I heard
some vegetables in there.
513
:
00:28:53
That's a balanced meal.
514
:
00:28:55
Sara: I think the bottom line is
stick with us people gonna cheer you
515
:
00:28:59
Lacey: I.
516
:
00:29:00
Sara: No matter what If you're
listening to this that means
517
:
00:29:03
you're breathing Good job Breathing
Good job Lungs You're awesome
518
:
00:29:06
Lacey: Absolutely.
519
:
00:29:07
Sara: You pushed play That's great
you're killing it You're nailing it
520
:
00:29:11
Lacey: Absolutely.
521
:
00:29:13
Sara: Yeah Go for
522
:
00:29:13
Lacey: seeing my face is
just a joy in, in general.
523
:
00:29:16
You're welcome.
524
:
00:29:18
Sara: You are what was it A res
a renaissance Perfect Renaissance
525
:
00:29:22
Lacey: yes.
526
:
00:29:22
Sara: What was the thing
527
:
00:29:24
Lacey: Renaissance Masters
would be clamoring to, paint me.
528
:
00:29:27
We should, wrap it up
with our gratitude today.
529
:
00:29:31
Do you wanna go first?
530
:
00:29:32
Sara: Curling I am thankful for Olympic
curling It has kept me company on the
531
:
00:29:37
couch I have learned about curling
and let me tell you people it is not
532
:
00:29:42
to be underestimated It is chess with
strategy with the science and physics
533
:
00:29:49
of understanding ice and friction
coefficients And it is when there's a
534
:
00:29:54
team when you've got two or four people
it is about teamwork and communication
535
:
00:29:59
Curling might be the ultimate sport just
most importantly I'm thankful for curling
536
:
00:30:04
for keeping me company on the couch
537
:
00:30:07
Lacey: Do you have opinions about
the curling scandal and the,
538
:
00:30:10
the finger touch on the stone?
539
:
00:30:13
Sara: I do not know about the curling
scandal but I saw there was a podcast
540
:
00:30:18
in my queue that alluded to something
541
:
00:30:21
Lacey: Okay.
542
:
00:30:21
I won't spoil it for you then.
543
:
00:30:23
Okay, this is very specific.
544
:
00:30:25
I am thankful and grateful for
the iPad's ability to kind of
545
:
00:30:30
shut your kids' stuff down.
546
:
00:30:32
To make them do stuff.
547
:
00:30:34
we got to a place this weekend
where mom had her mom, me had
548
:
00:30:39
her, this house is a mess.
549
:
00:30:41
It's gross.
550
:
00:30:42
I don't like being here
and I'm here all the time.
551
:
00:30:44
So you guys need to figure this out.
552
:
00:30:46
No screens until things get done.
553
:
00:30:49
and then I, I mean, I tried to make
it fun and I like said, okay, if you
554
:
00:30:53
clean this room, you've unlocked this.
555
:
00:30:55
If you've cleaned this
room, you've unlocked this.
556
:
00:30:58
And.
557
:
00:30:58
Did it work?
558
:
00:30:59
Yes.
559
:
00:31:00
Was it torture for everyone?
560
:
00:31:02
Absolutely.
561
:
00:31:04
It was awful, but it got done.
562
:
00:31:06
My house feels better.
563
:
00:31:08
And now I get to point to you.
564
:
00:31:10
Remember how awful that
one day was, Isaac?
565
:
00:31:12
Multiple times.
566
:
00:31:12
This is the worst day ever.
567
:
00:31:14
And I'm like, bro, look at your life.
568
:
00:31:15
Look at your choices.
569
:
00:31:17
You're, you're the one stuffing
wrappers from your snacks underneath
570
:
00:31:21
the family room, coffee table.
571
:
00:31:24
I'm not doing that.
572
:
00:31:25
You are.
573
:
00:31:26
So, yeah, you made this day.
574
:
00:31:28
I'm sorry, I'm just, I'm just
the one saying that today's,
575
:
00:31:33
the day it was coming.
576
:
00:31:33
but because I was able to like turn the
iPads on and off remotely, it was a very
577
:
00:31:41
powerful tool and I'm thankful for it.
578
:
00:31:44
Sara: Beautiful
579
:
00:31:45
Lacey: Mm-hmm.
580
:
00:31:45
Sara: it and iPads
581
:
00:31:48
Lacey: thank you Sarah.
582
:
00:31:49
Sara: Thank you Lacey