Episode Summary:

Get ready to dive into the delightful world of Kintsugi with us! We’re all about taking those cracks and breaks in our lives and turning them into something beautiful, just like the Japanese art of mending pottery with gold. Today, we’re super stoked to introduce our first guided journal, crafted by Taylor, aimed at helping you recognize your worth and embrace your imperfections. We’ll chat about how this journal can guide you through acknowledging your breaks, gathering your pieces, and finding your sparkle—because let’s be real, those scars tell our story and make us stronger! So, grab your favorite cozy spot, and let’s embark on this journey together, turning our breaks into golden opportunities!

Takeaways:

• Understanding Kintsugi teaches us to embrace our cracks and imperfections, leading to personal growth.
• The podcast emphasizes that our breaks in life are not the end, but rather the beginning of a beautiful journey.
• We highlight the importance of honoring our past scars instead of hiding them, making us stronger individuals.
• The journal created in this episode offers practical steps to help you gather your pieces and find your sparkle.

Chapters

00:38

The Concept of Kintsugi: Embracing Our Cracks and Scars

08:07

The Journey of Healing and Self-Discovery

14:28

Processing Emotions: A Journey of Healing

21:18

Understanding Emotional Processing

22:40

Navigating the Journey of Therapy

Hello, friends.

I'm Taylor.

And I'm Brittany.

Together we're two sisters who are here to help you learn some tips and tricks to help navigate this crazy journey called life.

When you combine us as sisters, we like to consider ourselves as quite the dynamic duo.

So join us as we talk about all life has to offer.

All right, friends, so.

So today we're super excited.

We have our first journal that Taylor put together that we're going to present today.

We're super excited about this one.

Yeah, I'm a little nervous about this one, but it's going to be great.

So to start off with the concept, I had lots of people asking and I had like, a friend of mine owns a yoga studio that we pair with a lot.

And she wanted a journal for like a guided journal for self worth and knowing your worth.

I do the teen yoga program with her.

And she was like, you should make a journal.

Yeah.

I was like, okay, I can do that.

So I kind of was like.

And I had a few other people asking stuff.

So I was like, we can put something together.

So the concept I went with is if you look at the COVID we have them here, but you're going to notice that it's called golden and it has these cracks on it.

So I took this from this concept that I love.

So we're going to talk talk about this concept mainly in our podcast today.

It's Kintsugi.

And this is one of the most absolute.

We've talked about it before, we've done podcasts on it and stuff.

But we're going to do it again because this is honestly, I think like one of my life changing concepts that I've ever had introduced to me was this beautiful art form that the Japanese have.

So when pottery breaks or ceramics break, instead of throwing that piece away, instead of super gluing it back together or pretending like it never happened, they gather the pieces up and put it back together.

But they put it back together with a more valuable item than what it was made of, which is gold or platinum or silver.

And they would fix it up or seal up the cracks with the gold.

Usually it's gold.

And highlight how it was injured, but also highlight the journey that it's been on.

And I feel like for all of us, this is the concept of our lives is that we're meant to get broken over and over again.

We're meant to crack.

We're meant to break.

And we will have so many so scars on us.

And that our society and life has taught us that we're supposed to super glue ourselves back together, that we're supposed to hide what's happened or hide our cracks.

And in reality, I think what makes us more, for lack of better word, dis valuable, what makes us more like depth of a person, is to not super glue yourself back together, but to honor and to highlight and to make those stronger.

Because if you think about it, when you're reinforcing with a metal on porcelain, think how much stronger that piece is.

Think how much reinforced it is.

But it's beautif this art form is such a famous art form because of this, right?

So why are we as people being taught to super glue ourselves back together to hide our cracks?

Why aren't we taught to honor, to highlight, to solidify and to move forward?

And I think that's why I wanted this journal to be based around that.

Yeah, I'm having this flashback and we'll have to figure out what podcast it was from before and we can link it in the show notes.

But I remember listening to this podcast one time about this group of people that had started like a rehabilitation center, and it was like dealing with, with like drug addiction and homelessness and people who are in and out and out of prison.

And so they had started this nonprofit organization in this facility where people could go to rehab.

And so this.

There was a story of one of these people who had gone and was ready to change their life.

And so she walked in and the building was perfectly clean and everything looks so great and pristine.

And she felt so unworthy to be there because she was coming off the streets with a drug addiction.

And.

And she walked in and she was like, I don't belong to be here.

I need to leave.

And so she walks in and this lady greets her who's beautiful.

Everything looks so great about her, right?

But she noticed when she went to extend her arm that she had track marks and cut marks all over her arm.

And in that moment, she was like, this woman has healed.

This woman is beautiful because of her past, and I can become beautiful like she is.

And I feel like that was such a, like a story of Kintsugi down to like, you know, like in our own bodies.

Like, this woman literally had all of these marks on her arm from her past.

And rather than hiding that, that was something that this, she was able to connect with somebody else about to find this beauty and to be like, look what I've overcome and you can too.

And I think that that really made Kintsugi come to life more for me after I heard that story.

Yeah.

Just because I was like, how cool.

Like, to physically have that as well.

We hide our pieces.

We don't need to.

Yeah.

I think that's the thing, like, that I've loved about being a therapist, that I love about my job is I see everybody's worst parts.

Like, everything that people want to hide the most from society, everything that people want to pretend, like, doesn't exist.

And that's where I think it's been.

The absolute coolest part of my job is I.

I get to still love this person.

I still get to be there for them.

I still get to honor them and see the beauty behind them without, like, the facade of.

Well, what's.

You know, their skeletons.

I know they're skeletons.

Yeah.

And they're still.

And you still love them.

Yeah, they're still.

And, like, I think that's the beauty of a therapeutic relationship is, like, you still get to see that somebody will accept you, Somebody will love you no matter what you're giving them.

And I've had a lot of people comment on that, like, how do you still like me?

And I'm like, because that's why we're here.

Yeah.

We're.

To find the good.

To find.

Yeah.

And I think that's what I.

I've always tried to convey to clients, specifically to people in my life.

Like, I want to know what's your story?

Like, what's.

And I want to honor it.

Like, it's.

It.

That's the coolest thing you.

Like, we're here to have a break, and that's what I think.

If we can continue to see those breaks in people, to see those demons people are fighting, then how beautiful of a journey are we actually witnessing, instead of the facade of, like, you know, something that just seems perfect and you don't really know the depth or the sacrifice it took to get that.

I think that's better.

Yeah, I think so, too.

And I think it really.

It brings you together.

Like, your humanity comes together at that point, and by seeing other people's flaws and challenges and what you've overcome, like, it just.

It builds that human connection.

Yeah.

And I think that's super cool.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I really, like.

I really like this concept.

I think that's what makes people feel loved, connected.

Yeah, I think so.

Good job.

Japanese.

Yeah.

I like what you wrote here, too.

It says, this journal is meant to help you identify and honor your breaks, to help you gather your pieces and put them back together.

At the end of this journey through life, we, too, can become something as Beautiful as these works of art and earn your stripes and honor your journey.

And I think that you did such a good job with that here of helping people's, like, to know their worth, to see.

Yeah.

Like, to go through the process and identify those things that are.

Feel like major cracks, and then realize how it has made them a better person.

It's hard.

I think it's really hard.

I think this is one of the hardest concepts, and I think this is one of the biggest messages I want every single person to be able to have access to.

Right.

Whether you're a client, friends, I don't even know you.

Like, this is how I was like, okay, I can give people some way to know that you are still loved, you're still value.

You still have something beautiful inside of you.

And.

And it's not easy, like, finding your worth.

Like, the way you break it down and being able to honor something that you have deemed as unworthy or deemed as something that broke you.

Like, that's a big word.

You know, I have people coming all the time being like, I'm broken.

I'm not worth anything.

And.

And that is such a depth of, like, first off, recognizing that you feel broken, but then, like, being able to acknowledge that that break did happen, did something to you, and then from there, what do you do with it?

Exactly.

That's heavy.

And giving people that space to process, that they even acknowledge there was a break is hard.

And then being able to give people the space to figure out how to put it back together hard, and then being able to honor it hard.

So, like, that's how I kind of thought when I was going to do this.

Like, how are we going to break it down?

And I was like, okay, we are going to break it down in three sections.

The first part is just, let's acknowledge that a break happened.

Honor the break.

You have to do that.

What happened.

Identify, like, the areas of life that you feel like you need healing.

Right.

The second part of the journal is going to be the Gather the pieces.

How do you pull things back together and find the support that you need?

And the last part is find or sparkle with gold.

And that's where you give it the value.

You give it the meaning.

You make it be a part of you earning your stripe and a part of your beauty instead of part of your shame.

And I think that is the.

That's my favorite part of the work when I work with clients is when we start to see the sparkle come out.

We start to see the value.

We start to see the Gold.

And it's like, see, you do have.

Yeah.

More to you.

Yeah.

And realizing that it's kind of like you've been beat up and you've been put in this, like, little rock shaker, you know, for so long, but now here is the beauty that comes out at the end of it.

Yeah.

Like, which there always can be if you honor it correctly.

Right.

And I think that's the hard part is everybody thinks, well, my break is too much.

My.

My wound, my whatever is just too much.

And it's like they're.

If it's treated the way that it could be treated, then it can always be loved.

It can always be honored in the way that it needs to be honored.

We just have to find how to do that.

Yeah.

And it's going to be unique for everybody.

And I think it's so empowering, too.

I know I've talked about this before, the Adlerism.

Yeah.

How I've been so, like.

No, Adlerian.

Adlerian.

Yeah.

What did I say?

Adler.

Whatever.

You had it close enough.

It was good.

But, like, the Adlerian concept of, like, being in control of your own life and choosing to find joy because that's something that you can do.

I think that.

So sometimes we get so stuck in the rut of, like, honoring the break that then we don't see past that.

Like, how many people can we think of in life that, like, they just see the broken and then they get stuck in this, like, trauma cycle or they get stuck in this victim cycle or this mindset of, like, I'm broken, therefore, that's the end.

Like, you know, or this is the card that was dealt to me and I can't fit.

There's nothing I can do about it.

Yeah.

Like.

And I get it, like, life is so hard and it really sucks sometimes.

But to have these things where you can pick up the pieces and then at the end that you can feel whole and even better than you were because of them.

So empowering.

Instead of letting that just, like, soak in and just, like, define you.

Yeah.

I think that's the part is it can define you.

How you choose to have it defined you.

And that.

That can be really hard for some people to hear, especially if their break is extreme or.

Or really damaging.

And it.

It.

You have to figure out how to present it in the correct way for each person's wound.

But.

Yeah.

But at the end of the day, that.

That is how your perspective determines the damage that it does.

And that's the thing.

There was a.

If you read the Body keeps a score.

There were studies that showed people who developed PTSD versus didn't develop ptsd.

And it can be similar situations of life threatening situations or other things like that was determined by how much control they felt like they had and how they perceived the situation based off their own interactions with like their perception of can I react, can I do something with it?

And I think that's a lot of the times the similar thing for our own interpretations of our break or how life hits us.

We're all going to get hits.

We're all going to take something in our life and it's not.

Nobody has a perfect life guarantee.

Oh yeah, nobody does.

Yeah.

And it's all about like, how are you perceiving your life and what do you choose to do with that perception then?

And how do you choose to allow it to determine your then progression?

And that's what I think we do have the ability to control.

We cannot control how we break.

We can't control where we take it.

Exactly.

Another one that had been really like impactful to me that kind of had like learned like helped me with this art of like trying to like figure out your journey.

Right.

And like editing your sparkle was Edith Ager.

And we, I've talked about her before too.

I know with this.

But for.

If you haven't read the choice, like that was such a good book where she was a Holocaust survivor.

And rather than having that define her, she was able to move forward and help other people and like find beauty and love and grace and all of these other components of her life.

And it was more than just I was a victim look at these horrible things.

And all my loved ones died.

Like we would all just, we would all say you're easily justified.

Like if you have to be bitter.

For the rest of your life, do it.

But she honored the break.

She gathered the pieces and then she found her sparkle.

And not only did she find her sparkle, but she made it her life's mission to help other people heal and find theirs and all their traumatic circumstances as well.

That's how she made her sparkle happen.

And it's like everybody's going to have their own different journey to make their gold solidify, to make their goals stay.

And that's where I think for her, like she felt more healed by doing that.

And I love that for her.

But everyone's going to have their own solution for how they do that.

Yeah.

And it's, it's pretty to see how everyone comes up with their own solution for it.

You know, like I Love the individuality at this stage.

And I think that's what it's my favorite stages, when they're sparkling, is because you really get to see people's personalities come alive.

You get to see why this world is so cool, because everybody comes up with their own thing.

And I'm like, I would have never thought of that.

You know, Like, I would have thought of this other thing.

And people are like, creating dog shelters.

Or, like, whatever, you know, like, whatever it is solutions that.

I'm like, okay, this is your passion now.

Or, like, you know, art or, like, cooking or whatever.

And I'm like, that is what gives us edification.

This is where you find your sparkle.

Go get it, girl.

Or.

Yeah.

Guy or person or whatever, you know, like, how cool is that?

Super cool.

And it's just so empowering to realize that we have this within us.

Yeah, it takes some work.

It is hard to get through the rut, but, like, processing there.

I love the way you've broken this down in this journal.

Like, it really will help, like, break it down to process through what you're feeling and to end up with this positive outlook.

Yeah.

It's supposed to be very step by step.

And, like, this is a thing.

So when people are in therapy, they're like, there is no plan.

They just come in, they think, and they're just kind of like, you know.

And I'm like, no, there is actually, like, a treatment plan in our heads.

Like, we're trained to go in and have, like, a.

This is a presenting problem.

This is the treatment modality that we're using, and this is how we're gonna, like, try and get there.

And each session, we're trying to connect back to that in our own heads.

But we don't necessarily tell you guys what we're doing.

But this journal is that same way.

Like, you can actually see how we're kind of trained to think, like, of it has.

So each chapter is broken down, right.

With questions that will relate back to that original question.

Like, so the honor, the break.

All those questions are going to be acknowledging, like, the feelings and the break that you had, which is not a fun chapter.

No.

And it is pulling out hard questions, like, what emotions do I often suppress or avoid feeling?

Are there any unresolved conflicts or grudges I'm holding on to?

Did I experience moments where I felt unseen, unheard, unworthy, or not important?

Why?

Describing how you dealt with it.

But, like, there's all of these questions that are just really.

Yeah.

Introspective and not Fun.

Not fun, but.

But at the same time, so healing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I think that's where it's.

It's really interesting.

Like, you're gonna see this one.

I struggle with this one all the time.

I'm doing better, actually.

But what do my internal thoughts sound like?

Are they positive, negative, or mix of both.

And why?

Like, really processing through that?

Like, what's causing this?

Where is it stemming from?

You know, what's interesting is I really thought about that one after watching Inside out too.

Oh.

Where they blended the emotions and the little thing.

And I'm like, yeah.

So many people don't realize you can have three or five different emotions in one situation.

They think it has to be categorized.

Oh, definitely not into good or bad.

Or like, you know, into zones kind of thing.

And people don't realize it's so dichotomous.

Like an experience, a situation.

Especially, like, significant ones in our lives are going to be very messy with a ton of different emotions.

So the more that you can recognize those ones that you're like, this is.

And I think this is the thing too.

People think their breaks are often like a significant situation.

And it's more like life happening over time, too.

Other things.

So the questions aren't specific about, like, this situation.

What do you think it's meant to get you to think?

Really?

How have I developed and shaped with all of these hits happening to me over time?

Yeah, I really like that.

Like, and.

And she's got a good emotional at the front, too.

That really helps identify.

One thing I've worked on with my kids and Anson especially, is we've been working on better working through our emotions.

Right.

And what we're feeling.

So I'll often have him tell me three things he's feeling at that moment instead of just the one.

Like, I'm angry.

You would always be there.

Tell me three.

Like, and usually it's like I'm anxious, angry and upset or whatever it is.

Right.

And it's like, okay, like, let's talk about it.

Or, you know, Adeline on certain things, like, will I feel happy and nervous and excited.

And it's like, those.

That's fair.

You can have.

Both things can be true at the same time.

And taking the time to acknowledge that.

Yeah.

I think it's interesting too.

Whenever I have people, the emotion wheel that's typical is like, there's that the base emotion, and then it goes out in triangles, and then they're connected to each other, like kind of an avenues.

But I've had A lot of clients get stuck on, well, I'm not like this specific emotion.

So then I can't go out to the other two kind of thing.

Oh, yeah.

And it happens regularly on the emotion wheel.

So the emotional I put in the book and we can even show it to you, but it's very much like where there's the main word that you would know, which is like fearful, surprised, happy, whatever.

And then from there, there's a bunch of options that are related to it in there.

So it's not like fed to you like a normal emotion wheel.

I designed it where it.

It's more like any of those related to that sounds similar.

And I like that.

And then it's.

So then it's not as streamlined because a lot of my clients get hung up on that.

Yeah.

And as Anson's been like just taking it to like a rudimentary phase.

Right.

To like a nine year old now, like the way their brain works.

Because I think it's important to remember that sometimes, like, sometimes we have to start earlier on in our emotional progress.

Right.

But like, he would get so frustrated on this too.

He's like, well, I'm not angry right now and I'm not sad.

But so now we worked on a lot of times he's feeling overwhelmed or disappointed.

And it's really helped to like break the wheel down more like this.

So this is great.

Yeah.

And then the other side is a list of emotions, so you can see that they're connected to each other.

So we try to do resources for you guys.

So the list of emotions is meant to just be ideas of words that you can use too.

A problem a lot of the times is that we're recognizing the facts, we're not recognizing the emotions.

So if we can get down to what am I feeling, why am I feeling it, what do I need that's going to address a lot of the stuff that caused the breaks and how you reacted more than the actual details.

People get so stuck on details of facts that are just details and facts.

They don't mean anything more than that.

You know, so trying to get actually like, what's my emotional reaction?

Why is that significant?

Why is that still standing out to me and how am I still reacting from it?

Is the goal of this so that, like the main goal of the journal is just to guide you along of just recognizing how you're feeling, how you're developing and where you want to be?

Yeah, I love this.

And.

And it really helps.

Just, it makes sense like the, like the flow of it's really good.

And just the process, like, it's our natural healing process.

Because when I showed this to our dad, he's like, well, what do you do with this?

Like, how do you.

How do you use this?

And my mom gave that same thing.

Or our mom.

Sorry.

Yeah, we share a mother.

We're well, sorry.

Sorry.

Our mom.

I'm sorry.

Yeah, we are scissors.

But it was so funny because dad was just like, what.

What do you actually do with this?

Mom's like, read the directions, John.

It's not that hard.

There's a lot of space to write here.

It's a journal.

So then she was like, laughing.

She's like, john, that's a point.

I think that's the perfect example, though.

Like, so our dad is not one that typically sits down and deals with his emotions.

He's very much a.

This happened in my life.

And he gets so stuck on, like, the details.

The details.

You know, like, oh, I have less sales on the books at the end of February than I, you know, this year than I did at the end of February last year.

And you'll just stay so stuck in the.

In.

In that and hyper fixate on the facts on the scenario, the.

Yeah.

The details.

And then he doesn't dive into, like, what are you feeling?

Why are you feeling this way?

What is like.

And so how helpful would this be, like, if we were to pretend to be dad?

To be like, okay, you know, I don't have as much on the books this February as I did last February.

All right, what am I feeling right now?

Well, I'm feeling.

Whatever.

Anxious, exposed, and I don't know, whatever.

Annoyed, right?

Like, angry.

I'm angry, but it's like, what?

I think processing through these things is so helpful because having this, like, someone to hold your hand, especially, like, I mean, Tay and I are pretty good.

I mean, obviously Taylor, she's a therapist, but I do a pretty good job at, like, trying to identify emotions, realizing why I'm feeling it.

I'm not as good at sharing that with others, but I do it for myself.

But like, someone like our dad, who is.

Doesn't even take the time to do it, like, this is so great.

It was hilarious.

Yeah.

She was so funny.

What do you.

And I'm not surprised.

What do you do?

I'm not surprised.

My mom was so.

Or our mom was so funny.

Just read the directions, like, asking it, like, on this page, when do I feel most vulnerable?

Why then I don't make money.

Like, I mean, I'm just Using that, like, our dad is so much more than this.

But I'm just trying to like, simplify it.

Yeah.

It was just funny, but it's like.

Why make it sister?

Yeah.

Getting to the deepest.

And I think this is the thing.

And it's meant the questions get more uncomfortable as you develop into it, which is the point.

Point.

Right.

Like, I mean, the first chapter sucks because it's breaks, but at the same time, like, it's going to continue to develop to get more and more vulnerable as you get farther in, which is good.

Yeah.

And then.

And then it shifts because then you start putting the pieces together.

Right.

Like.

Like, here's one in the second part.

Like, gather the pieces.

So it's like, do you feel like you're living a quality life or that you were merely surviving?

Why?

What would you want to maintain or change?

So think after realizing kind of, this is where I'm at emotionally.

This is where I'm struggling, then this is great to be like, okay, now I kind of know where my.

Where my faults are or where I need to like, piece things together.

You can't piece things together if you don't realize there's a problem.

Which a lot of people get stuck on that too.

Just ignoring that there's a problem.

Yep.

So this is great.

Like, I.

I hope that people are like, realize like, what a great resources can be.

I think it's cool that.

I mean, it just takes a lot of.

Of questions I've heard people either ask me or questions that I see a lot that need to come up in therapy and they're kind of put all in one spot.

So if you are dabbling in some of this journey or in therapy or just want to kind of develop and progress yourself, like, this is definitely very much like things I literally work on with people in therapy or things questions I literally ask.

And it's.

It's how as a therapist, I think and would progress people in a session and so.

Or like their sessions with me.

So it's.

It's pretty much like, I'm not saying this is replacement for therapy at all.

I'm saying this is like a.

But imagine doing this in tandem too, though.

Like, if I, before a therapy session, if I were able to sit down and like, have been working on this, like, yeah, like yesterday I had a therapy session.

I go every other week.

It's just a standard thing in my life.

Right.

Like, not for any particular reason.

It's just that's what I do.

And so it was like, I was like, I don't know what I'm going to talk about today.

Like, I don't really have anything.

Like, I'm feeling okay.

Right.

So in that moment, like, this would be a perfect time to be like, hey, like, I've been processing through kind of some of these deeper set emotions.

Like, can you help me navigate these?

Or if you're having a really hard time.

Like, there have been times in therapy where I can't wait to see my therapist.

Right.

Because I've had so much going on that I have to, like, I'm like counting down the days and the hours until I get to meet with the therapist because.

To process through it.

But if you already have, like, done some of that leg work to really identify, like, this is what I'm feeling.

This is what I'm.

I'm really struggling here.

Like, can you please help me?

Good bang for your buck.

Yeah.

It just helps you get more progress, honestly, at the end of the day.

So.

Yeah.

Well, thank you for creating this, Tay.

Like, yeah, this is awesome.

Yeah.

This one.

It was.

I mean, you're always nervous to create stuff, I think.

But my goal is to always provide resources.

So we did it.

So we did it.

So how can people order one of these if they want one?

We're going to post them on our website and they'll be sold through our website.

Okay.

So Uhana Counseling.

U h, A N e.

Counseling.

Yeah.

They'll be sold through there.

Yeah.

And we'll have a link on our Instagram as well.

So if you're following us on Instagram at Uhani Counseling, we'll link it there.

How much are you selling for on the website?

25.

Perfect.

So the price is just because it was created with therapy techniques and I.

Think it's totally fair.

Yeah.

I was like, it's.

Honestly, it's just.

Yeah.

So people have questions or anything like that.

This year we are also doing a few other things for products we're going to try and release.

KOA has a line coming out that I'm excited about because I'm obsessed with my dog.

Yep.

And it's his birthday this week.

What a shock.

So KOA has a KOA Loves, Give Loves line coming out.

He's gonna have stickers and shirts, everything like that.

So it's.

And Give Loves stuff.

So his therapy command is give loves and he is gonna just give loves more to the world, but cutest little doodle ever.

Love it.

And.

Yeah.

So we have a few things coming out this year.

We're trying to continue to re release resources I think we may do a second journal for confidence and self worth.

Yeah, we've got some ideas kicking around.

Tay's been busy, so we're trying to just always find ways to help you guys.

So if you guys have questions or ideas or other resources that you'd be interested in, please let us know.

Because we want to provide what people need, but I am all about providing things that help people, so.

Yeah, absolutely.

That's our whole purpose here, right?

Yeah, we try.

All right, well, thank you, friends.

Hopefully this was helpful.

And don't forget to check out our Instagram so you can find more information about the journal.

Bye.