We’re diving into the wild world of marriage, where expectations clash with reality like two kids fighting over the last cookie—messy, hilarious, and totally relatable! Our main gig today? We’re exploring how the dream of romantic bliss often gets tangled up with the day-to-day grind of life. Spoiler alert: it’s not all candlelit dinners and slow dances; sometimes it’s about who cleans the kitchen or remembers to wipe down the counters without being reminded! We’ll share our own experiences, the little things that make us feel loved (like surprise snacks or a clean sink), and how navigating those unexpected hiccups can actually bring us closer together. So grab your favorite snack, kick back, and let’s chat about how we can all choose love—even when the laundry is piled high and the kiddos are bouncing off the walls!

Takeaways:

• Marriage is a wild ride where the expectations of romance often clash with the reality of daily chores and responsibilities, but that doesn't make it any less rewarding.
• True love is found in the simple, everyday moments, like cleaning the kitchen together or showing up with your favorite snacks after a long day.
• Navigating marriage requires constant communication and an understanding that both partners come from different backgrounds, leading to unique challenges and disagreements.
• It's essential to recognize that marriage isn't a fairy tale; it's more like a long-term group project that requires teamwork, patience, and sometimes a whole lot of messy moments.
• The idea of 'choosing each other' every day in a marriage is paramount, as it emphasizes commitment and the effort to keep the relationship thriving amidst life's chaos.
• Real marriage involves learning to love your partner through all seasons of life, including the tough times, and recognizing that both partners are constantly evolving.

Foreign.

Hello, friends.

I'm Taylor.

And I'm Brittany.

Together, we're two sisters who are here to help you learn some tips and tricks to help navigate this crazy journey called life.

Hi, friends.

Okay, so we are in our final episode of Expectations versus Reality.

So if you hadn't got the others, what were.

What did we just talk?

We did adulthood, parenthood, and friendships.

That's right.

So now we are talking about marriage.

We come together today for marriage.

Marriage.

So we have both been married.

I've been married a while here on number two.

I'm on my first.

My current husband as one of the.

There's this comedian.

Have you seen him?

Ulysses or whatever.

My current husband.

I love him.

So my current husband, even though he's fabulous.

Okay, so today we're talking about the expectations of marriage and the reality of it.

So, scissor, what's the most unromantic yet deeply loving thing your husband has done this week?

I think I was on the phone with you, and I realized it on Monday, where I came out and he had cleaned the kitchen.

And I was so happy that he had cleaned the kitchen.

His kids had left the night before, and I was so overwhelmed because there was just all this clutter all over the kitchen.

And I was like, oh.

But he cleaned it.

And I felt very seen.

I felt very seen because he was like, I don't want you to feel like you're my kid's maid.

And I was like, I love that.

You're like, I don't want to be their maid.

I love that.

I know stepmoms have a lot of roles, but I don't want to be the maid.

I love that.

Yeah, I was trying to think of mine.

I mean, my husband does things all the time where I'm like, that is definitely not romantic, but it does make me feel extremely loved.

And I feel like this week she's bringing me food.

A Mrs. Doubtfire.

But he kept.

He kept feeding me.

So we had some things happen in our family this week that shifted some of, like, our work schedule.

So I'm working more now and taking on more clients, and he.

He is Mrs. Doubtfire right now.

And he has been so sweet about it, and he's been like, I think, overall, okay, I got.

I got one for, like, my overall most romantic thing my husband has done for me.

That's not romantic.

Loving.

Not romantic, but it's very loving.

Is he has always been number one cheerleader.

He's always like, you can make more money than me.

And I love that.

I want you to.

You are like more talented than me.

Like he's always been my number one.

Like, oh, he is like guy.

Yeah, he's a hype guy.

But he's like the best hype guy for me.

Like I am, I, I walk on water.

Apparently.

I am amazing.

But like even like I'm not even his wife.

I'm just his sister in law.

And I feel like that is such a talent that Matson has where it's just like you can make anybod feel like I am pretty awesome.

Like I'm doing a great job and it's like I could see that.

Who is his wife?

Yeah, it's like he is, he is there.

Like it is.

Yeah.

Let him Judge Judy lately because he, he, he can be a judgy person sometimes.

He's a high perfectionist and a high performer, which I love dearly about him.

But.

So I call him Judge Judy.

But the thing when this man gives you a compliment or when he says you're good at something, you, you know it because you know when you're messing up, when you're awesome, like it's, it's just so pure and sincere that, that's the most loving thing my husband does for me is like, I know at the end of the day I'm an amazing mom.

I know I am an amazing therapist and I know that I am an amazing provider for my family.

That's it.

I, I never question that.

No.

And he, he wouldn't tell you it if it wasn't sincere.

Like that is Madison.

Judy would let me know.

Judge Judy would let you know.

And I do love that about him as well.

Yeah.

Who doesn't love that?

I mean it's so funny.

So what did you think marriage is going to be like?

I, I thought marriage would always be a lot of like snuggling and making out and wanting to hang out all the time and like going out on fancy dates and like raising these beautiful family and children and it would all just be so happy and peaceful and.

Yeah.

And.

Yeah.

Die quick.

Car crash.

Does that sound accurate?

Yeah.

I, I love, I love chick flicks.

I, I was a rom com junkie.

I love romance novels.

I loved, I love it all.

I love the cheesy Hallmark.

Give me that like I met this man three days ago when we are now forever soul mates kind of vibe.

Best thing ever, Hallmark Christmas.

I'm there.

So like, yeah, 50 first dates was your favorite for a long time.

It's because it's funny.

And you were like, it is so Funny.

No, actually, Adam Sandler is like a romantic guy.

Not super sweet.

I just like that the guy got beat by a bat and it was funny.

Yeah, I think that movie's just funny.

I think Adam Sandler's funny, but not like.

Like, which Madsen would throw up if I said this, but I love, like, Letters to Julia or like, you always have.

I know.

I love those kind.

Like, those kind, like proposal or.

I don't know.

I'm trying to think off the top of my head, but those kind.

And I. I always thought, like, how sweet of this person.

Like, really is dedicated, this person, and adores them.

And, like, I'm trying to think other things.

I don't know.

I Like they would always have some conflict in the movie, though.

So this is the one thing I could say is I did expect there to be, like, a conflict.

You're dating or potential breakup.

Right.

But you don't, like, expect that.

There's not really, like, something big necessarily.

It's all the dumb, small things, like, wipe down the dang counter.

Matson.

Matson, did you hear that?

Wipe down the counter.

Wipe the counter down.

But it's those little things that drive you crazy.

And it's like, at the core, it's like, I know we're super good together.

And then there's the.

Yeah, the other things.

Like, it's funny because this man, when they say love and hate are two close emotions, they really are.

Like, there is some times where I'm like, you infuriate me to the nth degree, and yet I adore you.

Like, love this man so much, and yet he is the one person that could probably really tick me off in two seconds and really just know how to, like, get to me.

And he knows that.

Oh, he knows that.

Oh, he knows that.

I mean, I. I have a husband that will do that, though.

So, like, I think expectation versus reality on that is.

I don't know, it's a little bit of a weird one for me because I feel like I wasn't totally naive on relationships, especially to the.

More I was a, like, therapist because I had.

I was like a marriage counselor too, and stuff.

So I feel like I wasn't totally naive, but I feel like you don't know what your fights are going to be over or how stupid things are going to be sometimes.

And some of the things that really set you off sometimes, like, I. I remember around Christmas, like, it was one of those where I was, like, freaking out about who was decorating the Christmas tree, and it turned.

We were Fighting over Christmas tree.

And that was like, fighting over.

Well, and I think it was like a bigger thing for, like, for me.

I was like, no, like, this is my house and I want to, like, set the traditions and I want to do all this.

Right.

And his was like, well, no, my kids decorate the Christmas tree.

And so, like, I think sometimes we get stuck in these ruts on things which are just kind of.

They're kind of dumb some way they come out.

But, like.

Yeah, I don't think I expected, though.

I thought that I could avoid it.

I think is more the thing.

Like, I. I knew that this is the reality of it, but I didn't.

I didn't think how much, like, life changes, like, having kids and stuff was going to change some of our dynamics and turn from, like, you know, we.

We are a very good couple and we are very, like, good at being a couple couple.

And then when we had kids, especially my daughter, who has a chronic illness, then that was like, we turned more into roommates and we turned more into, like, yeah, like, task delegation.

And like, I was so flooded with trying to take care of her in the house and the kids and everything, it turned a lot more into, like, ships passing in the night.

And that's where I think it's interesting at times is like, you think you're going to be good and know how to handle it and, like, know these are like warning signs and try and compensate.

But when you're actually in the reality of it and like, trying to juggle all of it, it's.

It's impossible not to get some of these cliche reality things that happen.

Totally.

Yeah.

And I've had that same thing too, where I'm like, I second marriage.

I know what to do.

But then, like, you don't know how to, like, what life's gonna throw you with exes and step kids and like, all these different things.

It's.

Yeah.

I think sometimes though, it's.

It's just a part of it.

Like, I think it's sometimes a necessary sacrifice to grow because, like, I look back at that time with Ray and like, the chronic illness and all this stuff, and I'm like, I don't know what I would have done different.

I don't.

I didn't have.

And he didn't have capacity for more than what we were providing for each other.

And I think that also it's not so much about the downfalls that we have, it's more about recognizing them and the choices that we make to then go forward and say Like, I know this is a season.

I know that this is repairable and can we keep going forward with it instead?

And I think that's where marriage realities get chunky.

And, like, people don't push through it or stick it out because they don't know how to say, like, I see this as a season.

I see this as a moment, and I see this as this necessary sacrifice to build us closer.

Yeah.

And I think also with that, like, different chapters of your marriage and of your life, like, you have to learn the skill set to kind of get to the end of the chapter and go to the next one.

And so, like, if you get so hung up on the things that you don't know or the things that are so frustrating, you, like, with the chronic illness with Ray, like, you guys didn't even know what was going on with Rey.

Like, you didn't know how to help her because you didn't even know what her little body was going through.

And so it was just, like, you still had to have that education component where it was like, how can I learn what to do next?

And then.

And then when you got that, then it made it easier to, like, go back to those skills, to, like, connect with Madsen.

And I think it's, like, in a lot of things in relationship, but I think.

I think that's a very interesting thing is, like, you have to figure out how to deal with the presenting thing together and take it on as a team, so then you can go back to the original formation of your relationship.

I did see this quote, though, one time, and I really liked it where it was.

Like, I once asked my grandfather how he kept his marriage for, like, 45 years or something like that, and he said, I didn't marry or I didn't love the same woman I married.

I learned to relove her every year or every season that she changed.

And I thought that was so cool because, like, I'm not married to the same man I was.

I'm just not.

Like, he's totally different.

And we can.

All my family says that.

All his family says that, friends, like, he has grown so much, but I love that man, too.

Like, I love the man I married.

I love the man that I married now.

And I think that's what we have to realize is, like, each season brings something, and you have to reform that marriage and reform that relationship, and that's just the reality that we don't see.

You see the falling in love part.

You don't see the maintaining part.

You don't see the re.

Choosing this partner part, you don't see the work to go and fix a repair thing that really sucked part in.

All these rom coms, the hard.

The hard parts.

Because in the rom com, it's usually only one time.

And then they go back and show the, like, good.

And it's all the same as before.

And, like, I'm sorry.

There's some things, like, it will never be the same with me and my husband.

There are some, like, arguments we've had or some, like, issues you had.

It will never be the same.

But I also like, now getting over it and working through it.

I don't want it to be the same because I like him more because we learned to.

I learned to say, like, you hurt me and I still like you and I'm still choosing you.

Right.

And I think that's crazy.

And I still love you.

Like, yeah.

That's where the depth is, though, right?

It's like, you're crazy and I still love you.

You're.

There's an issue.

And I still love you.

I'm still choosing to be here and be present.

I think that's what's really cool about marriage is just how much you're choosing to be in it.

Yeah.

And it is a choice.

Like, you.

Like, I had seen something recently too, where it's like, people always say not to talk about divorce, but to know.

Like, in reality, divorce is always on the table.

Like, and not to be negative on that, but at the same time, it's like, you have to choose to stay in a marriage.

It can't just be like, well, we got married, therefore, it's.

It's done deal.

Like, yeah.

I think people.

Slider.

Feel stuck instead of feeling empowered.

So I get what you're saying where it's.

It's more of a. I'm empowered because I could always choose the other way out, but I'm still choosing to be here.

Instead of saying, like, no, I'm here because I have to be here kind of vibe.

Yeah, it's.

It's very different when you say I'm.

I'm here because I'm loyal, and I.

Choose it not because I want to be here.

I want to fight this fight with you.

I told my husband the minute that I stopped fighting is a minute that, you know that there's something wrong.

And he's always, you know, like that.

Like, when I fight, it shows I love.

When I fight, it shows I'm invested.

When I fight, it shows that I actually care enough to have an opinion, to tell you, like, I don't like what happened, so you want me to keep fighting you kind of thing.

And it's true.

I think every marriage, like, you should still fight.

I agree with that.

And even, like, for a second marriage, too.

Yeah.

Like, and I was like, I refuse to be seen as a checkbox.

Like, yes, we got married.

But, like, I want you to show me that you're choosing me instead of just like a check that box wife done.

You know, like, yeah, I don't.

I don't want to be that.

Well, you don't want to be taken for granted either.

Right.

Like, and that's something, like, even in our, like, you know, hard time with Ray and stuff, it was interesting because I was like, we're not.

We're not taking each other for granted.

We realize what's happening, but we are intentionally choosing.

This is the phase that we have to be in right now to survive.

Right.

Like, so it's.

And I think that's the key part is, like, do you still acknowledge your partner?

Do you still care about your partner?

Do you still put effort to.

Like, even if you are in this, like, weird zone, do you still take the time to be like, you matter and I see you.

Yes.

And instead of just going in those weird zones and just checking out, because that's where it really turns into the roommate.

And like, as recently, that's where it.

Turns into, like, you're.

You're in a corporation together.

It's not just a roommate.

It's like a.

You're in a business transaction of managing these kids now instead of.

And I see that happen so much in marriages, which I think is fascinating, is they.

They go from we are absolute intimate partners to now we are corporate partners.

So different, if you think about it, like, the roles and all that stuff.

And it's.

It's a very easy slide down.

And it all starts with, are you a checkbox or not?

Yes.

Yeah.

And do you.

Do you matter enough to your spouse to, like, have them pay attention to what you're feeling too, is another thing.

Like, it's.

Instead of just like, hey, I say these things and then it doesn't actually matter.

Like, yeah, that's hard.

That turns into corporate.

Because it was.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I was talking to a friend recently, and she was talking about how hard it is for her that she'd opened up to her husband about some things.

And.

And she's like, and it's really hard for me because, you know, I'm trying to connect with you, but you're always on Your phone.

And so she's like, put the phone down.

And so that's a struggle for them.

Right.

Because she's like.

He says, he acknowledges this, but then he doesn't put the phone down.

And so it's like, how do you.

Like, that doesn't show that you're like actually invested because you have to show that you matter instead of just being, you know, checking the box and oh, I listened to you or oh, we went to therapy.

But it's like make the changes.

Do the things.

Have the discussions.

Yeah.

Even though we suck sometimes.

You know what's interesting too is I, I always thought that we'd be on the same page about things or like have like similar opinions in general.

And I was like, oh, you know.

Yeah, like, yeah, like just.

Or the support person I married.

And me and Matson come from different backgrounds and we come.

We're similar enough.

Like, we're same like SES and schools and things like that.

Like social economic status and things like that and education wise and stuff like that.

But just like him as you know, we're minority, we're.

We're half Mexican and he's white as can be.

So like it's the ginge.

So it's, it's been really interesting like some of that too at times of where having to navigate the reality of it versus what I thought it would be.

I thought like my partner would just kind of align with what I think and, and we wouldn't really disagree on like major things at times.

And there have been.

You've seen us go at it, you know, like where it's.

We.

We disalign and that' an adjustment for reality of like it's okay that we can, we can agree to disagree.

And that saying is great and all, but when it's in a marriage, it's fascinating because you really have a hard time with that.

Well, and it can even be in small things too.

Just to the reminder of like you and your spouse do come from different backgrounds.

Like every.

Everybody who was raised in different homes.

Like, because James and I.

Same thing too.

A lot of the things align the same.

Right.

And so it's like.

But there are things like last night we were kind of laughing because I had sent out a gift to my family from Christmas vacation and so.

Oh ye.

Yeah.

I was like laughing and thought it was like the funniest thing in the world.

And he had never even seen cousin Eddie.

He didn't even know who cousin Eddie was.

And so I was like, oh.

Like.

And so I said Something I was like, yeah, like, I forgot that you wouldn't know the reference.

Right.

Is what I told him.

And.

And so I was like, that was my dad, one of my dad's favorite movies for years.

And so he was like, this is another way.

You know, this is a small thing.

But he's like, my dad didn't even hardly watch tv, and your dad's over there in his favorite movies, Christmas Vacation.

And I was like, yep.

But, like, it just the way that we process things sometimes where I'm like, this is so funny.

And I'm, like, dying and texting to my siblings and my parents, and I'm like, funniest thing I've seen.

Blah, blah, right?

And, like.

And for him, it totally falls flat.

And so I think that just.

That's a micro example.

But like, you'd said for other, bigger things, too.

Like, that comes into things for, like, finances and religious beliefs and, like, how education and how parenting happens.

Like, you're going to disagree with your spouse.

It's just.

That's just the reality.

Even though the expectation is we came from the same backgrounds, we went to the same schools, we were, like, were raised in the same social classes, there will be differences because, you know, one parent watched Christmas vacation and another had never seen it.

Like, that's just gonna be.

It is what it is.

I also think, though, that's, like, what makes us a better couple, because we do have some key differences.

But we've learned instead of going against them, we'll go and be curious with each other.

And that's something that I think is interesting that a lot of couples are scared to do, is actually just explore the others.

It doesn't really change our minds.

Usually.

Usually we're both pretty stuck in what we're stuck in because we're both pretty stubborn.

But at least we gave each other respect and we gave each other space and the honor to, like, say what they're thinking.

But it is difficult.

Different at times.

And then other times you're wrong.

Or like, I think it's like, not to belittle the other partner.

Or, like, I struggle with that sometimes.

Or, like, ignore their feelings.

Right?

Like, the friend that was, like, had talked to her husband without the cell phone.

Like, just find a way to validate, find a way to listen.

Like, we're, you know, validation goes a long ways in a marriage to just be like, oh, I can really see those are for you today, or whatever.

Like, it.

You don't have to agree.

You're not always going to agree.

But it's like, how can you just take that for a second and not just be like, actually you're feeling.

Doesn't actually matter, because nothing will piss your spouse off more than that.

Like, it's so frustrating.

I think the other reality, too, I wasn't quite prepped for was the mental load.

Like, we've talked about this before, but I wasn't fully prepped for just how much it naturally falls in certain areas or certain things, and how you have to have constant conversations about this with your partner.

I think that was a bit of a surprise to me.

On, like, you think you divvy up the roles, and then you're like, hey, wait, Like.

Like, I remember one day being like, how come I'm still the one doing all of this kitchen stuff, even though we both work?

Yeah, right.

It just happens sometimes.

I didn't mean to.

And I was like, I know, but, like, we made this agreement.

Did we change the agreement?

And he was like, no, it's like, okay.

Like, but it's just interesting that how much you have to check in with each other.

Or he'll be like, hey, Tay, like, are you covering that now or am I covering that now?

And it's like, oh, yeah.

Like, it's just.

It's an area that you don't think you're gonna have to talk about a lot, but you do.

You do.

Like, even the example that I said earlier about the way my husband showed me that he loved me, right?

That was super sincere.

Like, cleaning the counter off.

Like, in my mind, I was like, hey, that was your kids.

That was your kids mess.

Like, why is it still here?

Right?

And that's where I saw it.

And it was just, like, it naturally would have fallen on me had he not seen that and, like, cleaned it up.

Like, it just.

I would have been the one home.

I would have been the one to put away the puzzle and the snacks and, you know, whoever socks are on the counter.

Like, it's just.

That's just life.

But partnership is.

Is wild.

Yeah.

And all the things that could potentially come with it, especially, you know, it is.

And it can be really good.

Like, I think it's just.

I mean, it's like friendship, like we talked about before, but, like, kind of setting those realistic expectations and being like, what do I actually want from this?

Like, it's not always going to be, like, in Enchanted or something.

Right?

Isn't that the one where she was, like, getting swept up charming and, like, there's songs and there's music and the birds and like, that doesn't happen.

It's not gonna work.

But it's.

I think it's funny because I have a lot of people who think, like, marriage is going to fix all their problems, right?

Like, this person's finally fully committed to me and like, and they go into it thinking that.

And I'm like, that is the dumbest thing.

Marriage is one of the hardest things you will do because you are going into, I tell, I tell my clients this.

You're going into a permanent school project.

Like group school project, right?

Yes.

So, you know, like when you get assigned a group project and you're like, oh, I'm with my friend or whatever and it goes terrible, or you're like having to figure out like, who's doing this work.

Why am I doing all the work work.

What's happening?

You're trying to communicate to people and you're trying to get all this crap done.

You're trying to get an A plus.

That is what marriage is, is you.

Are going to a permanent, permanent.

Even if you think divorce is the out, it's not because it's permanent.

You're still in a group project.

You still think people always have a mark on your life.

Whether you have kids or not, they have a mark on your life and something.

And that's where it's like relationships especially, it's such a committed one.

And marriage or just a long term commitment, like, it's a mark on your life.

So forever, like, especially.

Yeah, yeah.

Because I'd even had a girlfriend recently that had taught.

She was like, if I get divorced, it's going to fix all these things.

And I had to look at it like, no.

I was like, it just changes the problems.

And so it's like, as you're, as you're going into these things, like marriage, like, there will be challenges.

That is going to be realistic.

Like, the, the answer is not always going to be like, oh, I got divorced, it's gonna be all better.

Or, oh, if I, you know, like, if I just set my boundaries with him one time and then we're gonna have this one big fight and it's all gonna be fine.

Like, no, it's not.

It's not realistic.

I can't tell you how many times we fought over, like, dude, tell him.

Like, you're taking up all your nights with all your hobbies.

I can't, I can't even list the amount of times we have fought over that.

Yeah.

But hey, at least I'm fighting for it.

But that's, that's the thing I think that people forget is group projects are messy.

They take a lot of communication, and they take a lot of.

Of cooperation and compromise, and that's what marriage is.

So I, you know.

Sorry.

It's amazing, though.

I do love marriage, guys.

I do.

But I think that's the reality that people.

I don't believe.

On the negative note, like, and we both have great husbands, and it's.

We have fabulous husbands.

Yeah.

And, like, the reality of it is it we have fabulous husbands, and they're wonderful men, and it still takes work.

And it doesn't always look like the.

I. I tell everybody.

I. I have an amazing husband who I know dearly loves me and my kids, great provider for our family, great, hands down, tries super hard to do all the things.

He's still a turd sometimes.

So it's.

It's just this balance of.

You're still in a group project with someone, and it's still hard, but it's amazing.

So if you pick well, it will be easier than if you pick crappy, because it's hard enough with a great person.

My husband's favorite thing to tell me right now is he's like, you know how you can tell that I love you?

And I was like, how?

And he's like, because you're driving me absolutely crazy right now, and I still want to be here sitting by you, and I still love you.

And I was like, I do that all the time.

Yeah.

My husband's just like, you're annoying the crap out of me, and I still take it.

Yes.

Yeah.

And that's.

Right.

And he'll just verbalize it now where he's like, that's how you know I love you is I still want to be here.

And I was like, that's great.

It's.

It's the group project with the kid with the runny nose.

Sometimes, you know, like, it's.

Yeah.

It's so funny.

Before we go, funny question, who is your ideal romantic story or partner?

Like, characters?

Oh, like, as a kid.

Yeah.

Well, I'm thinking of ones that, like, aren't super healthy to think we're like, what was it?

That's what I was like, what was it?

I would love that marriage, like, relationship.

Well, I just remember thinking, like, heath ledger and 10 things I hate about you was, like, the hottest relationship I'd ever seen in my entire life.

Funny.

Like, but that's like, that's so funny.

I could see that one being the.

One you liked, but I'm like, that's not even that's not even a thing, you know, like, don't.

Yeah, don't.

Well, now you know, because you're in a marriage, which is funny, but as a teenager and stuff, you're probably like, oh, my goodness, that's so romantic and so sweet, so dreamy.

I like Aladdin and Jasmine.

You did?

You always loved Aladdin and Jasmine.

Well, you know what's funny is my daughter is obsessed.

She goes around the house singing A Whole New World.

And she goes and carries around her demon.

She called her diamond.

And she asked for it almost daily to watch Aladdin Jasmine.

But I love the story of like, oh, my goodness, she loves him for who he is.

And he, you know, like, he didn't care so much about being princess.

He just liked her.

And like, I thought that was so sweet.

And my marriage is nothing like that.

But I think the other one, like, remember my favorite chick flick was Always Ever After?

Oh, yeah, Drew Barrymore.

And why?

I don't.

I don't know.

Like, it's like he picked her up from these, like, hard times and it's like I didn't even have an oppressed childhood.

I have no idea.

Did you just want to become a princess?

I mean, who doesn't?

I mean, I did like the Will and Kate story.

Prince William and, and Princess Kate.

I don't like the actual real life story.

Like Diana.

Like, you know, like the whole like UK.

I loved that, like 15 years old.

I was eating that up.

That marriage.

Oh, my goodness.

Yeah.

I thought that was just so romantic and so dreamy that he married.

And I was like, I want to marry a prince.

Hello, hello, hello, guys.

I married a prince.

That's a ginger redhead, red redheaded out.

The like, servants without the servants.

Yeah, yeah.

Without any status at all.

It's so funny though, looking back at like what you thought was romantic versus now, what's romantic like or like even like romantic actions?

I feel like now being in a marriage for as long as I am, romantic actions really are like, my husband is my cheerleader, like, giving me food versus when I first was like, oh, I'd be going to like this fancy dinner, like planning this big event or like going on this huge hike or like, you know, like all these, like, big events that we would do.

And now I'm like, no, it's.

You bring me food.

Yeah, you bring me food and you.

Do the dishes, you feed me and you tell me I'm pretty when I'm scary looking.

But cleaning up, otherwise it doesn't count.

Oh, yeah.

You got to Clean it up, otherwise it doesn't.

You put the kids to bed.

Like, so romantic.

So another one that really was like, baby, baby was.

He set up the irrigation drip for the plants that I planted and I was like, oh, oh.

Matson one time got me a weighted vest because he knew I wanted one and he randomly got it from Costco and he never randomly gets stuff, guys.

He.

He.

Stick to the list.

That sticks to the list.

And he came home, hey, look what I found for you.

I was like, what'd you find?

And he, he like pulled out look at.

And he was like so excited.

And he puts it on me.

And I was like, oh my goodness, this man really loves me.

Right?

And it's not even the big.

Like there was one time James picked me up from the airport, I think after Christmas, remember?

Because I like with custody exchanges and stuff.

And I'd flown home and he showed up with my favorite chocolates and like daisies.

And I was like, who are you, romantic?

Daisy?

When we were dating, I remember he brought me a bag of chocolate covered macadamia nuts that he put it in like his Walmart order.

It cost him what, $4?

And I was like, oh my gosh, I feel so seen.

Like nothing had felt sexier in my entire life than the guy that shows up with the Walmart macadamia nuts.

Right?

Because I'm like, oh, hello.

See, this is, this is a funny thing though.

Is it really?

Reality just changes when you realize, like, what true love is.

True love isn't all these like big sweeping gestures.

And I think that's what like TV has shown us or like all these romance things, like throughout time, like we, we highlight all these big things.

But real, real love, real romance, real relationships are.

They're choosing you every day.

They're sitting by you when you drive them nuts.

They're getting you like, things you need.

They're taking care of the kitchen.

They're taking like that is real.

A real relationship and a real romance.

And like people forget that that's truly real love instead of.

Yeah.

All these sweeping hotel room all the time.

Yeah, that's.

It's.

It's things like this which is.

Yeah.

Fascinating.

Yeah.

But that's how you build a life together.

Like, life is made up of the small moments instead of, you know, with the messy bit.

Yeah, it's.

It's the messy bits that are just beautiful where they support you and, and are there to, to be there at your good and bad.

Yeah.

And choose you.

Like that's, that's a.

It's a big thing.

Like.

Yeah, yeah.

Not just a checkbox, but like choosing you makes a difference.

Anyways, so for marriage, it's, it's a bit of an interesting one because it's definitely messier than what you think it is, but it's worth it.

Yes, it is.

Highly recommend it.

So fun.

I did it twice.

I'm not happy to.

Oh, Brittany.

All right,.

So if you're interested and you have a list all the series, we have one on marriage.

We have one on friendship, parenting and adulthood.

So if you want to check those out, check those out.

We're going to do our next series, I think after the month of July.

So check out for our next miniseries, follow us on Instagram if you guys are more interested for like day to day tips.

We're posting stuff all the time now.

I am getting more regular people be excited.

So follow us on Instagram.

No, it's not even that anymore.

It's Taylor Heiner therapy on Instagram and we're on YouTube and Matson posts stuff everywhere.

So I don't know where everything is, but.

Yeah.

Yes.

But thank you.

All right, friends.

Thanks.

Bye.