Alright, folks! Let’s dive into the nitty-gritty of adulthood and all those juicy expectations we had versus the reality that smacked us in the face like a wet sponge! Today, we're chatting about how our teenage dreams of being glamorous adults often turn into slightly messy, hilariously chaotic real lives. I mean, remember when we thought turning 30 meant we’d have it all figured out? Spoiler alert: We don’t! We’re sharing our own personal tales of how we thought our lives would look—spoiler: way more fabulous than they actually are—and laughing our way through the lessons learned along the way. So grab your favorite snack, get comfy, and let’s have a giggle while we unravel the beautiful mess that is adulting!

Takeaways:

• Life isn't all about the polished career and perfect house; sometimes it looks like a dog and a side hustle instead!
• Expectations versus reality is a wild ride; adulthood is often a hot mess that somehow works out in the end.
• As we navigate adulthood, it's crucial to embrace the chaos while still holding onto our dreams and aspirations.
• Don't underestimate the emotional navigation that comes with adulthood; it's not just managing tasks but also feelings and relationships!
• Adulting means dealing with laundry crisis while trying to maintain your sanity and finding joy in the little things along the way.
• Realizing that adulthood is about setting boundaries and making choices that serve your happiness is a game changer for everyone!

Foreign.

I'm not Taylor.

I'm Brittany.

I'm Taylor.

Together we're two sisters who are here to help you learn some tips and tricks to help navigate this crazy journey called life.

Hi, friends.

We are back this week with number two on our mini series.

Yes.

So if you missed.

Last week, we're diving into expectations versus reality.

Last week we talked about parenthood and how we go into that with expectations and then the reality of it.

And then this week we're talking about adulting.

Sounds terrifying.

I know.

I just.

When I was.

Finish the sentence.

When I was 16, I thought being 30 something meant having a blank, but instead I have a blank.

Oh my gosh, Taylor.

Like, I feel like my life doesn't look anything like what I thought my 16 year old self thought it would look like.

Yep.

Okay.

When I was 30, I. Oh, when I was 16.

I'm 30 now.

Right?

37 When I was 16.

Yeah.

Oh, goodness.

I know I'm old.

I turned 38 this year.

Goodness.

Okay.

Yeah, that means you're old too.

No, I'm not.

Yeah, just 32.

Okay.

When I was 16, I thought 30 something meant having a really gorgeous house downtown in Ballard, Seattle, like neighborhood area.

And instead I live in Kennewick, Washington.

Now.

That's a pretty good one.

Oh, when I was 16, I thought being a 30 something meant that I would be a surgeon and married and have babies.

But instead I have a dog that goes to work with me every day.

Honestly, best trade ever.

Like, I think about that all the time.

I feel like your life isn't too crazy different than what we anticipated.

You're a therapist instead of a surgeon.

Yeah, I, I honestly think, I don't know how it happened, but I think my 20s were a hot mess.

My 20s were a hot mess.

And then it ended up working out to be great in my 30s.

Yeah, my, my 30s are wrapping up pretty good.

They're just.

Yeah, I think you did like your 20s.

I think we just swapped like that exploration stage.

And I honestly believe this after working with so many people, there's an exploration stage that has to happen of growth and development where you just kind of have to answer some questions of life, figure out what you're doing.

Right.

And so usually it comes through dating or something.

I don't know.

But mine came through dating.

It was a hot mess.

Hot mess, you know, but like, I ended on an amazing man that led to the stability of my life.

And I picked a really good career too in my 20s.

That helped a lot.

So, like, it kind of started evening out when I picked the career got KOA and then a little bit messy still in dating and then.

And then I moved home and started my practice and found a great man.

So that was good.

And my life has gone more like Casey Musgrave song that like talked about like what was it?

Mercury in retrograde or something where it was like I turned 27.

Everything started to change.

I kind of.

That was where mine kind of hit.

It was after I dance in and it honestly like aligns with the Casey Musgrave song, which is kind of funny.

Yeah, I think that, I think just the exploration.

Mine was asked like during my twenties.

Right.

Yours was during your thirties and like that's fine, it's just different.

But so like you're coming out of it.

Mine looks different.

Yeah.

I, I have the 30 something year old life.

I thought I would have.

Yeah.

20.

Yeah.

If you asked me 20s, I would have been like.

And my 20s were not what my 16 year old self thought I was going to have either.

I mean.

Yeah, my 20s were not what I.

Thought being married with two kids was not what I thought I was going.

To be married with two kids instead of lonely as heck and dealing with grad school and getting torn down and trying to date.

Yeah.

And I thought I'd be working at Apple.

It's okay.

Different.

Different things.

Right.

But like we both didn't meet our expectations there as an adult.

But it is interesting.

Like I think that growth has to come somewhere.

So.

Yeah.

But thinking that making it like meant pristine.

Like what did you think making it.

Meant when I was 16?

Yeah.

As a 16 or just growing up or like general expectations, like what are your thoughts about making it as an adult?

Oh my gosh.

So different than now.

When I was 16, I definitely was like, I need to have a polished career.

I need to be like whether it was a doctor, I think I talked about an attorney or working at Apple or I needed to have like this really like professional polished career.

And then I wanted the like one or two kids in the perfect little house downtown Seattle with the picket fence and you know, going out to brunch on the weekends and all that jazz.

I thought it just meant being wise.

Like I, I always looked at, I looked at our parents and I always.

And I still this.

I know everybody who laughs like about the mom jokes, but like, you know, you're 30 something you call your mom because she's a real adult in the situation and it call my mom.

And I'm like, mom, what do I.

What Do I do like, we were toilet trained to banks, right?

So I'm like, mom, what do I do?

Mom, what do I do?

And she always had the answer.

She always, she always does.

That's what I think, being adult.

And she's so freaking smart.

So, so I'm like, that's being an adult.

Yeah.

I call my mom for everything.

I mean, our mom, but like, everything.

I'm a genius.

That's a blue fell off my shirt.

What do I do?

Or my dog just, you know, ate his own barf.

Or, I mean, anything.

I call mom for everyone laughing because.

I'm like, some of the questions I've asked that poor woman.

And sometimes I dabble, answer the phone, he's like, mom, hotline, how can I help you?

Yeah.

And it's always like, I need my mom.

Hi, guys.

I remember I got pregnant with my second.

My mom knew before my husband knew because I was for like six months postpartum with Banks.

And I was like, mom, Mom, I can't take.

And he was like, doing a groomsman like, picture thing for this wedding that we were at in New York.

And she was watching my son.

And I call her, like, sobbing, like, mom, what am I gonna do?

And she told me, just laughing because she knows everything.

She knows everything.

So that's, that's my expectation is thinking that you make it when you can be the hotline for everybody.

But I don't want to be the hotline for everybody because I don't feel like I know everything.

I don't think you'll ever call me.

For stuff like that.

Yeah, like, I, I don't.

That's, that's when, if, when mom dies at the ripe age of 120, I will be like, mom, you know, up in the ancestor worlds and be like,.

Mom, come back down.

Help me.

We're going to need to, like, figure out some way to communicate with the spirit world.

Like, exactly.

I'm going to be like Ouija board.

I don't know what.

Whatever we can do, mama bear.

Like, answer free.

Manifest as a manta ray.

Something like, great, Gladly.

Oh, my gosh.

Yeah.

I am a sometime adult.

Like, you know, like, our brother will call me sometimes, but then often he'll call her mom right afterwards.

He may be like, I'm ready to give you this advice.

So it's like I'm in like the tryout phase.

I mean, people pay for my advice, so I guess.

But I, I, I, and I, I do feel like, I don't know, I just, I feel like it's also growing to thing too, because like, your kids give you so much trust and you also grow.

Cause I was thinking about it the other day, I'm like, I'm such a new mommy and I'm learning so much with my 2 year old and 1 year old.

Right.

But by the time they're 16, 18, I hope I know a little bit more and can have them like call the mom hotline and I can figure it out or not.

Or I'll go to the grandma, Grandma, what do we do?

Mom?

I don't know what I'm doing.

I feel like that's, to me, that's my expectation of making it.

Yeah.

Okay.

And I was talking to a friend recently, just this lady that goes to church with us, and she has nine kids.

Okay.

And she's a super boy.

Yeah.

It's not a blended family.

It's.

She has nine kids.

And so I was somehow she's like, yeah, like, people always like, how do you.

How did you do this?

And she's like, well, it's not like I woke up one morning and just had all nine kids.

She's like, it's not like all of a sudden it was just like, bam, nine kids.

And so she was like, I learned, I grew.

I went from one kid to two kid to three, you know, and so she's like, and I got to know each of those children so then I can know what they need.

And so I think that's such a good reminder though, for adulthood.

It's not like all of a sudden we have to know everything.

Just because I'm turning 38 this year.

And like James and I were talking yesterday and why, we're like, why does it feel so much older than saying we're 34 and 35 or we're 35 and 36.

Right.

Like still learning things in the early 30s.

Like, yeah, I still feel like I'm more relatable to the 20 year olds and the 30 year olds right now.

Like the upper 30 year olds or 40 year olds.

Yeah.

And like, because of the stage of life I'm in.

I was joking with another friend too the other day.

Like, her husband was getting colonoscopy and then she was like, I'm due for my mammogram.

And I'm like, we are at this point in life now where instead of taking food to friends when they're having babies, it's like, oh, how'd your boob squish go?

Here's a quiche.

Along with the baby.

I'm not taking a baby casserole.

I'm taking Here's a boob squish quiche.

Like, and I think that's one of those things that it's just the reality and just kind of accepting.

Like, I've kind of had a hard time with it sometimes, right?

Where I'm like, I'm entering that next phase of life.

My daughter's going to high school.

Like, that puts me in a whole new category.

I. I have a son in elementary school, but, like, he's gonna be a fifth grader.

It's.

It's different.

You're kind of out of the, like, baby stage.

Like mine.

I'm.

I'm in the thick of the baby stage.

It's really weird.

But.

When we were talking about it too, I was thinking about, like, the expectation that I had on myself too, of adulthood, of being able to manage all the roles, like the different roles I have of like, being a wife and being a mother and then being a business owner and being a therapist and then, you know, volunteer opportunities or things like that.

Like, I expected myself to handle all of it without any burnout and that expectation is dumb.

Or like managing all the house stuff too, on top of it.

Like, you don't realize how much of a mental load and stressor that is of managing your whole family and the household and everything else on top of it until you're asked to do it and you're put in that spot to do it.

Which is fascinating because you hear that and you're like, it shouldn't be that big of a deal.

Right?

Right.

You're just getting groceries or you're just whatever.

It's hard.

It's hard.

Okay.

The reality of it, this is hard.

Yes, yes.

And to know, like, as a type, a type person where I'm like, I can do all the things.

I'm smart, I can do this.

I put in the work.

Of course it's going to happen.

But it's like there's so much more to it.

That's just the reality of being an adult.

Like, yeah, it's not going to be.

You're navigating not just tasks, you're navigating emotions along with it and you're navigating different people along with it.

And I think that's a part that like, you underestimate when you enter adulthood.

Yeah.

The never ending.

I was talking to my husband about this the other day.

It just feels like a never ending to do list.

Or like, I was trying to squeeze in workout yesterday and my washer the little drain hose did.

Came out of its spot and leaked all over, like, a whole load for a washer, all over a laundry room floor and went into the carpet a little bit, too, you know, so it's stuff like that where it's like, not only do you have normal tasks, then you have crisis tasks.

You.

Yeah, it just has to happen.

So then you have to.

Top of everything.

Yeah, yeah.

And then you have to swap something out because you can't handle everything else.

You know, it's just.

That's adulthood.

Yeah, that's adulthood.

And I think part of adulthood is learning how to kind of do it with grace at the same time.

Like, are we gonna let these things bog us down?

Are we gonna let them, like, turn us into these negative, grouchy people?

Because it's like, my laundry did this.

It's hard.

It's hard.

It's like, how do we still show up to be the person that we want to be?

And sometimes.

Sorry.

Yeah.

Oh, no, go ahead.

I. I think, too, like, the thing that I noticed, and as the longer we've been an adult, the less we dream, the less we get excited about the dumb things.

Right.

And I talk to a wide range of people and different ages, and it always seems like at some point, people lose that little spark of, like, potential, and they think that they've kind of started living their story out.

And I think that's a crappy reality of adulthood.

That doesn't have to actually be the reality.

People just kind of make it their reality.

I agree with that.

And it's been interesting, too, because, you know, going into a new marriage in my mid-30s where I was like, okay, now we need to dream again.

Like, we have to rebuild this foundation.

But it's like, we've had to learn these skills because we still have all this crap of adulthood, right?

And then it's like, all these expectations are there, plus there's six kids between the two of us.

Like, it's definitely adulting.

Right?

But it's like, how do we not let go of that?

How do we not lose that sense of dreaming, even as adults?

I think you have to make it a priority, you know, like, me and my husband are coming out of our 20s, and we're in our lower 30s.

And I think that's the thing that we've really tried to prioritize is continuing to have a lot of dreams and continue to have these things.

Like, I had one on the other day, you know, like, I want a house in Hawaii.

Like, it's my like, add on.

I was like, gives me something to dream about, whether or not it happens.

Fine.

And his is like, bill retired in North Carolina and like, great.

Like, whether or not they're come to fruition, at least it's something that we can like both be excited about or look forward to or things or like, trips that we've added to our list.

Like, I think that we're still in that younger side of adulthood that we haven't quite lost that, but I think you have to intentionally build it in.

Totally.

Yeah.

And I'm in this like, weird in between where it's like, let's bring it back.

Because it's like, you know, kids going to high school and all this, like, how do we not lose that?

But yeah, it's.

It's a weird in between.

Okay.

Did you picture the.

Your sister being the adult that she is now and why.

In the mommy regard?

Yes.

I never picked.

I always pictured myself being the business owner, not you.

Like.

Yeah, I never pictured.

We've talked about this so many times.

Oh, yeah.

We giggle at it all the time.

Yeah.

And so sometimes I'm like, oh, I'm so jealous she got that.

So funny.

Because I'm over me.

Like, how did this happen?

I don't know.

I don't know.

Great job.

Like, and you're helping other people on their adult journeys and I think it's beautiful.

Like, yeah, we did something different.

I. I think for you it's been interesting because you have different phases of your adulthood because you've gone through, you know, like the divorce and it's like a re.

Thing of you.

The.

It's hard because like the hippie side of you where you were like that, like crazy colorful mama, like that part I always saw potential for.

As my dress that I'm wearing today.

And it's fabulous.

But that's so.

I'm like trying to think, like, because the different versions of you, I could see all of them.

I don't think I saw you not having a career the way you don't like, like that.

I think that was probably really good for you.

Yeah.

But like growing up, I don't think I would have pictured you being like a stay at home mom and trying to shove some work in on the side.

I. I would have thought it was.

Opposite, you know, because I work part time.

Like, that's.

Yeah, Yeah.

I thought it would have been a full time and you have like a nanny and you have like, you're traveling all over for work or something.

Like, if you were to Ask me what adult I would have thought you would be.

I thought you would have been, like, a corporate mama.

That's.

That's because that's what you and I both pictured.

Yeah.

And I thought you would have a nanny, and I thought you would have had, like, a, you know, crazy travel schedule, and you'd be like, I can shove you in here.

And instead it's been, like, opposite, where it's like, sis, can you hang out?

Like, sure.

Like, okay.

Like, you know, that kind of stuff.

I think it was better for.

And it's fascinating because I was talking to my husband about it because my identity is very different than what I thought it'd be too.

And, like, I think it was better for our journey.

I definitely think it was better for us.

I think it was better for me to be.

Own a company and, like, help people and all that stuff.

And, like, my son has learned so much from it, and my daughter will, too.

Like, he prioritizes helping people because mommy does.

You know, like, yeah, that's been really good, but I don't know if I would have picked it, so.

Yeah, it's just interesting pictures either, but I think it's good because you were there for your kids and created a solid, stable background for them, you know, Like.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like, I don't.

I don't have regrets on it, but it's definitely different than what I anticipated life would be, and that's just the reality.

Yeah.

Like, and I try to tell all my teens that, like, what you picture probably won't come to fruition, but I almost see it as, like, a gift.

Like, it's gonna be better for you in some way, and be open to how you can make it be better for you.

Yeah.

And we're not saying, don't manifest things like, don't.

Don't put in work.

Oh, no, please do.

Yeah.

Put the work and try and try and get exactly what you want, but at the same time, be open to, like, a new door opening.

Yeah.

Because it works.

Like, I have no regrets about, you know, being the mommy I am to my kids and.

And doing, you know, my adult life just is so different than what I pictured.

And.

And that's okay.

Like, I'm at.

I'm at peace with that.

Like, it's not.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Most of.

Yeah, it's very different, but it's.

It's just interesting.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

Adulthood is a weird one, guys.

It is.

It is weird, but I think it's just, like, take a minute and just kind of feel it out like, what, what are you feeling?

And like, where.

You know, we do this with our kids all the time.

Like Adeline, as she was transitioning to high school, I had been like, I want you to like, go through the different, like, sections of your life.

I'm like, where are your holes?

Like, let's take an assessment.

You know, like, where, where are you feeling that you're lacking?

Where do you feel like you're excelling at?

What do you think that you need more energy towards?

Or, you know, and I think as adults we lose that sometimes.

And so it's like, where can we find more peace in our reality of our adulthood?

And like, what do we need to change?

And I think that now is probably a good time to do that, because why not?

You're thinking about it.

As an adult.

What's one thing that you love about your freedom that your teenage self wouldn't have appreciated?

Wouldn't have appreciated?

I don't know on that.

I don't know how to answer that one.

I think it's an interesting one because it's like, wouldn't have appreciated as a teen because you think of all the freedoms that kids want.

You know, like, you can buy your own things, go wherever you want, be with whoever you want, hang out, whatever.

And that was a weird one for me too.

But when I was thinking about it was like adult freedom.

I really appreciate the fact that I get to learn how to claim my boundaries instead of being told that these boundaries are good for me, like in the way of I actually get to create and set my own jurisdictions of my life and I get to have complete ownership of that.

Nobody else is forcing me to, you know, like when I say no to, no to hanging out with somebody or no to, you know, like, I can't do this or whatever.

It's, it's all because it's driven by my self desire or what I know is good for me.

And that freedom to say yes or no has been really empowering as a, an adult to kind of shape the life that I want.

So that's an interesting freedom that's always been in a good way.

Yeah.

And I think another, like, I was talking to my therapist the other day and she brought up this interesting idea, like with all these different shifts in my life, she's like, you're moving to a new teepee.

Like, I think I told you this analogy.

And where she was like, you have this old TP that's like full of all these expectations and like full of all of these, like, cultural Things or whatever it might be.

And, like, now you're moving to a new one and only taking with you the things that you want and that you see value in.

But, like, you get stuck in the middle.

And so I think that there's.

I think there's a lot of freedom in that where it's like, I can actually choose the life that I want.

Kind of like what you said with, like, the boundaries, but, like, we get to pick what.

We get to pick those things that matter to us.

We get to pick all of those.

Where we put our energy.

What do we say yes to?

Where, you know, what traditions do we carry on?

What do we not?

Like, there.

There's a lot of peace in that.

And.

And I don't think my teenage self would have appreciated that just because it would have been like, you do this because you're told to do it, like.

Or it was so black and white on things.

Like, there's a right and a wrong.

Or, like, you're, like, societal expectations or people pleaser, you know?

Like, I think as an adult, you really start to learn.

Like.

Like, once I had kids, it was very much a. I don't care what other people want.

I'm an adult and, like, take it or leave it.

I'm in charge of my kids, and I'm not going to, like, care if I offend you or not.

And that was a really interesting freedom of, like, they matter more than you.

So, like, I don't care if you've.

Done way better than that than I have.

Yeah, it's.

It's because I'm very black and white on that one of, like, if it doesn't benefit my kids and I'm not going to sacrifice them for that.

Yeah.

I just won't do it.

Yeah.

But I have that freedom as an adult to say, no.

No.

Like, that boundary, which I think is a good one.

Yeah, it is a good one.

All right, my friends, our next one is on marriage expectations versus reality.

Um, we will do that one, and it'll be released.

Anything else, Brit?

No, we're just.

Thanks for listening and, yeah, take some time to think about feeling good in your reality, so.

All right.

Thank you, Sam.