🎙️ Awakened By Beauty - Music, Nature, & Wonder

A candid conversation with Dr. Larissa Fedoryka-Kuplak

What if beauty isn’t just something we see—but something that changes us?

In this deeply reflective and soul-stirring episode, Michelle sits down with concert cellist Dr. Larissa Kuplak to explore how beauty—especially through music and nature—has the power to awaken our hearts, heal what’s broken, and draw us closer to God.

From the difference between analog and digital sound to the lost art of truly seeing, this conversation invites you to slow down, become childlike again, and rediscover the wonder that makes you feel fully alive.

🎻 A Powerful Invitation

When was the last time you:

• Sat outside and truly noticed a tree?
• Listened to music without multitasking?
• Allowed yourself to be moved… without rushing on to the next thing?

Beauty requires attention. And attention opens the door to transformation.

🌿 Practical Ways to Begin Again:

• Step outside and linger - notice details you’d normally miss
• Listen to a piece of music (start with “The Swan”) without distractions
• Ask your kids (or yourself): “What do you see?”
• Create small moments of beauty in your home
• Let go of perfection - and embrace playful curiosity

💬 Key Takeaways:

We don’t need more noise—we need more wonder.

As Larissa shares, when we open ourselves to beauty, we allow it to:

• soften our hearts
• restore what’s been dulled
• and draw us back to the One who created it all

💛 About Larissa:

Dr. Larissa Fedoryka-Kuplak is a concert cellist who began performing with her family ensemble at venues like the Kennedy Center and Wolf Trap. She holds a Doctorate in Cello Performance from UC Santa Barbara and has performed with orchestras, recorded as a session musician, and toured with artists including Marco Antonio Solis, Gloria Trevi, and Scythian. She now shares her passion for beauty and music through performances and her concert series Painting with Music.

• Email: [email protected]

Resources Mentioned

• Sadie Hoyt's classical music listening guides for families: sadiehoyt.com
• Bach Unaccompanied Cello Suites (as interpreted by Pablo Casals)
• Saint-Saëns: The Swan (performed live by Larissa during the episode)

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131:

analog is a curve.

2

And digital is all ones and zeros,

and they're more like steps.

3

And what's happening is that we

are surrounding ourself by so much

4

digital, with the movies that we

watch, the screens that we look at on

5

our phones and everything, which is

making us less sensitive to the actual

6

curvature of the world around us.

7

when was the last time that.

8

You sat down outside and just stared at

a tree and stared at it long enough that

9

you weren't just like, oh yeah, tree.

10

He's like, no, actually put attention

on it like laying down underneath

11

the tree and just listening

to the rustling of the leaves.

12

We've forgotten how to look.

13

What's really important is that we do have

to become childlike again, and as adults,

14

we don't know how to do that anymore.

15

michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131:

Hi, it's Michelle.

16

Welcome back to the

Living Fearlessly podcast.

17

I am very blessed to have my dear

friend Larissa Kuplak the call.

18

Before we get started, I just wanna make

a quick announcement and that's that from

19

here on out, the podcast, now that we've

launched, and we've got some podcasts

20

out here, we're gonna be going biweekly.

21

So every other week we're gonna

be launching a new podcast and

22

I'll look forward to spending

that time with you because it is

23

such a gift to be able to do that.

24

Moving on though, my friend Larissa

is an extremely talented cello player,

25

and really, she's Doctor Larissa

because she has her doctorate in cello.

26

It's not just in cello.

27

What is your doctorate in

28

Larissa

29

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131:

Cello performance.

30

michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131:

In cello performance?

31

And let me just tell you,

when she plays her cello.

32

I just sit and listen.

33

Can't say I'm jealous because that

wouldn't be right, but I listen to

34

it and my heart wants to play just

like that because it just lifts you

35

to the heights, which is amazing.

36

And then I actually started

learning cello when Larissa was in

37

Northern Virginia before she moved.

38

And I started taking cello lessons

from her and what a gift has been

39

just to even start to hear the

scratching of music through that.

40

But I love, Larissa is from a

large family, a bunch of musicians.

41

What I love about Larissa the most is

in addition to being very talented and

42

a gifted performer, and very deep in

her knowledge of God and of philosophy.

43

She has such a huge heart, and it's

been such a gift to have the opportunity

44

and the invitation to be able to

see bits and pieces of her heart.

45

As you know, the heart of a

woman is absolutely magnificent.

46

And when we're able to unfold

and allow others in, it's a gift.

47

So, Larissa, you've

been such a gift to me.

48

I'm grateful you're on here.

49

I can't wait to have this conversation

and talk about music and talk

50

about personhood and personalism

and God setting hearts on fire.

51

Could you just give a quick

like a, who you are, what you

52

do, what sets you on fire?

53

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131:

Okay, so I am one of 10.

54

I'm second youngest of 10 kids,

and my mom was a Julliard,

55

graduate in piano performance.

56

And was going down that route of

performance when she met my dad, and I'm

57

really condensing it a lot right now, but

she met my dad and got married and had

58

10 kids, and my dad was a philosopher.

59

So he really understood the

importance of beauty and how it has

60

this deep spiritual aspect to it.

61

And so between the two of them

they really wanted all of us, to

62

be able to play an instrument.

63

So we grew up playing and performing

as a family because for my mom,

64

she was a firm believer that if

God gives you a gift, you're meant

65

to share it with other people.

66

So already at a very young age,

I mean, I was playing at three,

67

my siblings were all performing.

68

So I would jump on and play like

some of the simpler pieces with them.

69

So my awakening into life was,

or consciousness was just being

70

surrounded by music all the time

and sharing it with other people.

71

So life took us everywhere.

72

We moved around a lot.

73

My dad was president of a

couple of different colleges.

74

And then we lived in Austria for high

school, which was really incredible.

75

I mean, that was a huge exposure

to beauty in a very different way.

76

We were always exposed to

beauty within the home.

77

I felt like we lived in a museum almost.

78

My mom worked at the

Metropolitan Museum in New York.

79

And so our house was kind of like that,

just filled with beautiful artwork and

80

furniture and statues and everything.

81

Which is not very typical American.

82

I think you go into American home and

very often it's a little bit more,

83

you know, you'll see pictures of

you, a few paintings and of family

84

members or photographs or whatever.

85

But our house was just like a huge

collection from all over the world.

86

And then so when we went to lived in

Austria, we were surrounded by that

87

European aesthetic that my parents

brought 'cause they're both from

88

Ukraine and so it was really neat to

understand yourself in a little bit of

89

a better, a little bit better of like,

oh, this is kind of where we come from.

90

Even though it was Western Europe,

it wasn't Eastern Europe, it

91

was still a little bit closer

to, oh, this is who we are.

92

And then went to college.

93

I was debating whether I wanted to

go to music school or not and decided

94

to go down the medicine route.

95

So, got an undergraduate in biology,

but at the very end of that degree,

96

a friend of mine reached out who was

in music school and she was like.

97

Larissa, what are you doing?

98

You know that music is a huge part of

your life and you can't get rid of it, and

99

you should really pursue cello instead.

100

And I thought about it and I was thinking,

you know, that, so playing at the age of

101

three, that it was really, such a huge

part of who I was that I couldn't imagine

102

not having it in my life, not playing it.

103

I feel like a part of

me would not be alive.

104

Which is also a dangerous thing.

105

I can talk about it later, but just

how very often we start identifying

106

ourselves with our product.

107

What, like things that we produce or like

I'm an actor or I'm a cellist, or I, you

108

know, we start melding the two, which can

be a different, because ultimately we're

109

a child of God who happens to play cello

or I'm a daughter of God and I think that.

110

When we focus too much on what we do,

then we lose touch with the relationship

111

that we have with God the father.

112

And then we start thinking,

well, I need to perform well.

113

I need to get a job in music.

114

I need to win competitions

and all these other things.

115

And when I don't, then

God doesn't love me.

116

But I think it's also important to know

who you are and where you come from.

117

And I think that what I was really

experiencing probably was that beauty

118

was such a huge part of my life and

I identified it at, with my cello.

119

But God speaks to us in different

ways and this is how he did

120

get me into the cello world.

121

So I went back to get another

undergraduate in music and

122

then moved to California.

123

'cause I was thinking, okay, I don't

need more than just an undergraduate.

124

But, um, worked with inner city kids

there for two years, which was really

125

incredible because I was seeing firsthand

the power of music in somebody's life.

126

I think growing up with it, I

didn't realize its effect on me.

127

It was just part of daily life.

128

And so to work with these kids who come

from poor families and don't have much

129

going on in their life, and then handing

them instruments and teaching them how to

130

play and just seeing the transformation

in their personalities or the joy that

131

it was bringing them and everything.

132

It just really, I think,

enforced even more.

133

I think that was the beginning

step of realizing, oh wow, beauty

134

has an effect on us, on a deeper

level than we even realize.

135

We think of it on a sensual level,

like, oh, that's pretty, or This tastes

136

good, or that sounds nice, or whatever.

137

It's like superficial without

realizing, oh my gosh, no.

138

It's actually penetrating us on a much

deeper level and it's transformative.

139

So after two years of working with

inner city kids, I ended up going to uc,

140

Santa Barbara, and getting a master's

and a doctorate in cello performance.

141

And then moving back to the East

coast where I didn't have any

142

connections and I think a big thing

that I realized in undergrad is

143

that things aren't handed to you.

144

That you have to create

your own opportunities.

145

And I think very often we think,

oh, I have to go to the best school.

146

If I didn't go to the best school,

then I'm not gonna produce anything.

147

Well, and realizing that that has

nothing to do with it, really.

148

It's you are only gonna get as much

outta something as you put in, as opposed

149

to, I'm gonna give as much as I get.

150

So then when moved to Virginia and didn't

have any connections, and I was like,

151

well, I'm not gonna wait to play cello.

152

I'm not gonna wait to win an audition

with an orchestra or anything.

153

I'm just gonna create

my own concert series.

154

So I found a pianist and we started

doing house concerts in people's

155

backyards, in their living rooms.

156

And the whole point of it for me was

music was always about connection and

157

building a relationship, and sometimes

being on stage that creates this void

158

and between you and the audience.

159

And that for me is very scary.

160

I just feel like I'm floating and the

floor has been taken out from under me.

161

I wanted people to be able to

enter into the music the way I did.

162

And I realized that most people don't

know how to listen to classical music.

163

michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131:

Right.

164

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131:

And unfortunately, , I always found

165

it very ironic that so much of art

was preserved by the Catholic Church

166

in the early stages of Christianity,

of Western civilization, I guess, and

167

that it's something that we have lost

a sense of in the Catholic church.

168

And there's a revival of it,

and I think it's really great.

169

But,

170

michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131:

you a real quick question?

171

Do you think that's just in

the Catholic church or in the,

172

even the world as a whole?

173

Because I

174

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131:

oh yeah.

175

michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131:

everywhere you go anymore, unless

176

you go somewhere that's ancient or a

couple hundred years old, it's hard

177

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131:

Yeah.

178

michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131:

that beauty.

179

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131:

It's definitely lost everywhere the

180

Catholic church was very influential

throughout history and it was kind

181

of the way the Catholic church went,

that society kind of went in that way.

182

And partially because we had

monasteries that preserved everything.

183

The Catholic church preserved beauty

and culture and then the secular

184

world, whatever they had, didn't last

through generation and generation.

185

And it was typically more base.

186

So it's not that everybody had a sense of

beauty in the old days and now we don't.

187

It was like, actually no, there was

always this base underlying of just this

188

insensitivity to beauty in the world.

189

I feel like what's ended up

happening is that it's kind of made

190

its way into the spiritual realm.

191

So, over time we've allowed the

culture of the world to seep into

192

the church in the arts at least.

193

And now there's this like, big divide.

194

It's, to me, it's really interesting

because you can be very spiritual, you

195

can pray a lot you can go to mass, you

can, well, you know, whatever it is,

196

have a relationship with God, but then

turn around and watch the movies that are

197

coming out and listen to the music that's

out there and dance the way everyone

198

else is dance, like on the outside, you

kind of look like the rest of the world.

199

And I feel like art has always been

a projection of the internal in the

200

sense of what we see outside, we take

in and then we try to represent it.

201

But what has happened over time is

that our senses have become dull to

202

the world around us because the music

that we hear it's all cotton candy.

203

Like you eat enough sugar, you're

not gonna be able to recognize a

204

really good steak when you eat it.

205

And that's what's happening is

that we are inundated through our

206

senses with so much cotton candy.

207

michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131:

Mm-hmm.

208

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131:

That we miss the world out there

209

and then we're not able to produce.

210

And right now, I'm just saying

like a really big blanket.

211

It's not true across the board.

212

There's a lot of really great artists.

213

There's a beautiful music that's

being played or written or whatever.

214

But I just feel like as a whole, that's

kind of the way society is shifting.

215

And I feel like as a Catholic, part of the

richness of our spirituality is the arts.

216

And I really want to show people, at least

in the world of classical music, how to

217

listen to music in a way to show them

that this is actually really incredible.

218

And it's not that difficult to understand.

219

It is a language, but you get a

few basics and it slowly begins to

220

work on your soul in a deep level.

221

Because beauty has the ability

to do that, to penetrate you.

222

At the core of your being.

223

And because classical music

does not have words to it, I

224

feel like it's more powerful.

225

It takes out the words and it's

hitting your heart in places that words

226

couldn't describe or words wouldn't be

able to explain, if that makes sense.

227

It kind of bypasses the intellect

and goes to the spirit, the heart.

228

michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131: I

always like to think of music and I'm not

229

a surfer, however, I have seen surfers,

but I like to think of music almost like

230

a surfer on the ocean, riding the waves.

231

And

232

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131:

Yeah.

233

Yeah.

234

michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131:

beautiful, like when, when, and this

235

can be with song, with singing, it

can be with what you're listening to,

236

but it's like you hear about people

who catch the perfect wave, you

237

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131:

Yeah.

238

michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131: Or

even like skiing down a hill and it's just

239

these perfect lines and the best ski ever.

240

And sometimes it's one of those

black diamonds where it's really

241

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131:

Yeah.

242

michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131:

Outside of this world, it's like that.

243

And it can give you the same thrill.

244

Leave you with that same awe

when riding the perfect wave.

245

And again, I'm going by what I've heard

from my daughter-in-law and other people

246

who surf, but watching people just

imagine like, how awesome it feels.

247

It's like your body is in sync with the

music and it's able to touch at that

248

deeper level and draw us to something.

249

I remember taking a theology

class and they were talking

250

about the existence of God.

251

I just remember like the fact that

beauty lives your heart to God.

252

It's like when we lived in

Naples, Florida, I loved it.

253

We loved the ocean.

254

We're right by it, but.

255

One of the things coming, living,

growing up in the country that was

256

really hard is everything was put by man,

the palm trees, the roads, everything

257

that was beautiful, even though God

is part of that palm tree, and I mean,

258

as the wouldn't be there without him.

259

It was not like, grew

up the way God intended.

260

And then we went on a vacation up north,

and especially in the fall, and you

261

see the leaves and the colors and you

see the mountains and you just wanna

262

go into a whole course of how great

that art, because you're like, wow.

263

Right.

264

And you look at creation

and aspects of it.

265

And I love how you're able

to help through your music to

266

bring that same sense of awe.

267

Like when I watch you playing,

sometimes your fingers bouncing around

268

and I'm like, oh my gosh, yes, it's

talent, but the music that comes

269

forth can't help but just lift you.

270

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131:

Yeah.

271

Going uh, back to that idea of the

surfing is that doing things that

272

are dangerous like that, or skiing,

something that, like if you know you do

273

something wrong, you can fall the wrong

way and break your arm or whatever,

274

you have to put all your attention

on the thing that's in front of you.

275

And when you put your attention

on something outside of you, it

276

draws you outside of yourself.

277

And I think that's what people, when

they talk about like catching the

278

perfect wave or whatever, it's almost

like you've become one with the

279

thing outside of you and then you're

just, you're moving along with it.

280

We're constantly in control of everything

that we're doing at every single moment,

281

whether we like it or not, and we're

always thinking about something and

282

every once in a while I don't know if

you've ever felt this, but having a

283

conversation with somebody and then

noticing that you get completely

284

pulled outta yourself 'cause you're

paying attention to what they're doing.

285

And then sorry, Johnny just

walked in and it's scary.

286

Suddenly, you feel like you're

free falling and then you freak out

287

and you just let go and allow this

person to direct where you're going.

288

And then I find myself pulling

myself back in and being like,

289

no, I gotta be in control.

290

I'm thinking about what I'm gonna

say next and all these other things.

291

But when you fully put your attention on

somebody else, you lose a sense of self.

292

michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131:

Yeah.

293

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131:

And, and that's why ugliness has the same

294

power to work in your life as beauty does.

295

And that's why it's incredibly

important that we don't lose

296

ourselves to the wrong thing.

297

That we don't give a hundred percent

of our attention to something that can

298

actually start distorting our soul.

299

I have thinking more about this because

as Johnny runs all these, ultra marathons

300

and everything, and washing documentaries

on people, it's really amazing that

301

some of these people that might not have

God in their life or they're searching,

302

they feel so in touch with a higher

being when they're out there running.

303

And again, because it's one of

these things, you are out in nature.

304

You're paying atten, you have to pay

attention to where you're running

305

you know, unless you're on a road.

306

But usually if you're running through

the mountains, you don't want to

307

step on a rock and trip or anything.

308

And so , they're out in nature,

like you were saying, God created

309

this, their beauty and they have a

sense that there's something greater

310

out there than just themselves.

311

Which kind of leads into a little bit,

I was talking to my brother-in-law, Jake

312

Schmidtke about, he's a videographer,

and I finally got a record player

313

and I was really excited about it.

314

And so we started talking about analog

and digital and he was explaining a little

315

bit the difference between the two to me.

316

And he was saying that analog is a curve.

317

And digital is all ones and zeros,

and they're more like steps.

318

Tiny steps that can give you

the impression of a curve,

319

but they're still steps.

320

And that's why when you listen to records,

you feel more like, oh my gosh, this, the

321

orchestra's right here in front of me.

322

Because it's using that natural sound

when we encounter the world around us.

323

It is all curves.

324

And then when we encounter

something that is more manmade

325

or digital, then it's fabricated.

326

And what's happening is that we

are surrounding ourself by so much

327

digital, with the movies that we

watch, the screens that we look at on

328

our phones and everything, which is

making us less sensitive to the actual

329

curvature of the world around us.

330

michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131:

my gosh, that is so profound.

331

I have a record player upstairs

and a set of records, and I haven't

332

listened to them that much because

I can just put Spotify on and you've

333

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131:

Yeah.

334

michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131:

made me be like, oh my, need to put

335

the records on and start playing them.

336

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131:

Well, also I found when I had a

337

record player, once I would put a

record on and try to do something

338

like wash dishes, and I just couldn't,

and I didn't know what it was.

339

And I realized you didn't put

records on in the background.

340

You put a record on you and you sat

down and you listened to it because when

341

we encounter something beautiful, it's

almost like we have to give it attention.

342

We have to sit down and listen to it

because it's so profound in and of itself

343

that to go and do something when beauty

is present would just feel off or wrong.

344

You know what I mean?

345

michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131:

Yeah, no, that's really interesting

346

because, I know there are studies

out there that are all about the

347

importance of not just being present,

but how taking time for wonder.

348

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131:

Yeah.

349

michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131:

How it's really important for rest

350

to be able to just take a moment

and not just be present, but

351

to allow yourself be captivated

352

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131: Yes.

353

Yeah.

354

michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131:

And we don't do that.

355

As a society, we are so

356

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131: Yes.

357

michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131:

Constantly the digital world, from the

358

demands of what everyone else is doing.

359

So what we have to do, parts where we're

busier than we've ever been before,

360

and the idea of sitting down just to

listen to something seems like, I can

361

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131:

Yeah.

362

michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131:

that for a lot of listeners

363

and a lot of people, it's like,

I don't have time for that.

364

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131:

But what I notice is that I don't

365

sit down and listen to Spotify.

366

It doesn't move me in the same way.

367

I don't feel like I need to.

368

And I think that it's just this

natural, like this is fake, so to speak.

369

It's all ones and zeros.

370

I don't feel moved to sit down

and give it my whole attention.

371

And I think that's the thing is when

we encounter beauty, and by encounter,

372

I don't mean just see it, but actually

put our attention on it and turn into

373

a receptive mode, is that when we

become receptive to beauty, we open

374

up and then now it has the ability to

come inside and, pull us out with it

375

michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131:

Mm-hmm.

376

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131: God.

377

And so then we're moved.

378

And so many people are like, oh,

I'm moved by beauty, and, or I

379

am, oh, that doesn't move me.

380

It's like, well, did you

allow yourself to be moved?

381

Did you open yourself up to be moved?

382

But that is a learned thing.

383

And what we're doing so often

now is through Instagram

384

and all these other things.

385

We're teaching ourselves how not to

be open because it's not something

386

that we need to be open to.

387

michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131:

Well, and it's

388

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131:

Like digital world.

389

michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131:

a lack of vulnerability too, isn't it?

390

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131: I,

391

michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131:

When you think about it, like what you're

392

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131:

yeah,

393

michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131:

reminds me of, because I

394

mentioned the how great thou art.

395

Well, I grew up in North Texas,

396

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131:

yeah.

397

michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131:

we grew up with fall was frost happens,

398

leaves go from brown to brown, or

green to brown or, and that was it.

399

You know,

400

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131:

Yeah.

401

michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131:

and I'll never forget when I was

402

like 16, 17, I must've been 16 and

maybe a little younger, and we drove

403

up to Pennsylvania where my aunt

lived and it was in the fall and

404

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131:

Yeah.

405

michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131:

seen fall before, especially

406

outside of a movie.

407

Like I've seen it in movies, I'd

408

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131:

Yeah.

409

michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131:

Fall before.

410

And we had drove through the night.

411

So by the time we're through the night

and the sun's up and the Golden Sun's

412

coming out and it's flickering off.

413

The autumn leaves.

414

We were so moved that, and I have nine

sisters, I can't remember how many of

415

us were in the van, but we all burst

into harmony with how great that art.

416

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131:

No way.

417

Oh my gosh.

418

michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131:

it was like the beauty, like

419

I just, you just explained it.

420

It drew us

421

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131:

yeah,

422

michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131:

ourselves to a Wow.

423

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131:

Yeah.

424

And I think that's the thing is that.

425

You surprise yourself when you

allow yourself to be moved by beauty

426

because it calls forth like a natural

response of glorifying or whatever,

427

depending, again if you have an ax

murderer who's desensitizes him to

428

self to that, that's not gonna happen.

429

But um, but I think that's where

these bursts of creativity happen.

430

It's the spirit of like, coming

through, you know, whatever.

431

They had the muses back in

the old days, and that was it.

432

They were like, they came from

outside of you and they would

433

just wait for the muse to come.

434

And then when the muse came, they

knew they had to do it right there

435

and then, because that was inspiration

in that moment, and it was gone.

436

And once it went, it was gone.

437

michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131:

Yeah.

438

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131:

That was their belief.

439

And, so by being open, you're moved.

440

I don't know if you've ever

created anything like this or these

441

moments of doing something and

then thinking, oh, that wasn't me.

442

Like I know I produce that,

but that totally wasn't me.

443

And I think it's like, well, yeah,

it was, it was a spirit using you and

444

your personality and everything to

produce something, but it's so amazing

445

to experience yourself in that way of

just I didn't know I had this in me

446

. michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131:

Larissa, I would love for you to share

447

some ways that for people like I grew

up, I knew some beauty in that sense

448

and I saw a different kind of beauty,

who wasn't exposed to the arts for

449

those of us who have had, I had six

kids, and so a lot of my life, like

450

it was always go, go, go, go, go.

451

And if you'd asked me to sit down

and listen to a classical record,

452

I would've been like, I love you.

453

I don't got time for that.

454

And I wouldn't have seen the value

455

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131:

Yeah.

456

michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131:

the exposure that I had at

457

university and throughout my life.

458

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131:

Yeah.

459

michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131:

What would you say to someone

460

who hasn't had that exposure,

who maybe can see, okay, this

461

looks like it might be important.

462

What are some tips or some words of wisdom

that you can share that can help someone

463

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131:

Yeah.

464

Yeah.

465

I think that,

466

it can be sometimes overwhelming and

daunting to start with something that

467

you are not familiar with at all.

468

Like, I never really grew up

listening to classical music and

469

now trying to listen to a whole

bunch of classical music or artwork.

470

I wouldn't say starting with that, but I

think that, going out into nature, I think

471

that taking time, because that's something

that we can all do and we know how to do.

472

But when was the last time that.

473

You sat down outside and just stared at

a tree and stared at it long enough that

474

you weren't just like, oh yeah, tree.

475

He's like, no, actually put attention

on it and then start looking at the

476

bark and the leaves and the wind

blowing through the leaves, or like

477

laying down underneath the tree

and just listening to the rustling

478

of the leaves and stuff like that.

479

We just need to learn how to be

still and how to look at something.

480

We've forgotten how to look.

481

And the great thing is that

you can do that with your kids.

482

You can sit down underneath

the tree with all of your kids.

483

You're just kind of like,

I can't, because, you know,

484

I'm so busy with the kids.

485

It's like, well then

just do it with the kids.

486

Go outside into the

park and play with them.

487

Lay down in the grass and look at the

grass, the leaves, the little blades.

488

And what do you notice?

489

And you can even just ask your kids that,

that question like, okay, we're gonna

490

sit here and we're gonna look at the

tree, and everybody's gonna say three

491

things that they notice about the tree.

492

And because I think also what's

really important is that we do

493

have to become childlike again,

and we have to start looking at

494

things through the eyes of child.

495

And as adults, we don't

know how to do that anymore.

496

And so asking your kids, what do you see

is your beginning, it's almost like you're

497

using them to learn how to be a kid again.

498

Not just kind of like, oh,

I just want you to share.

499

I'm like, bonding moments.

500

And you just share.

501

It's like, no, ask them what they

see and then see with their heart

502

michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131:

Right.

503

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131:

And what, whatever it is.

504

You could even do it at home or

looking at a painting but I think

505

the important thing to remember is

that we don't have to do anything for

506

God to love us, for God to move us.

507

We don't have to do anything.

508

For beauty to affect us.

509

So this is something that this

past year has become kind of

510

a motto or a theme for me.

511

It's live with reckless abandonment,

512

michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131:

I love that.

513

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131:

which for me, in the best sense

514

because there's so many things in

my life that I didn't do because I

515

didn't think I would be good at it.

516

I was afraid that I was gonna

fail, and this year I just realized

517

everything that I pick up as

I'm doing it, I'm, critiquing.

518

To the point, like, if you have somebody

over your shoulder and I've noticed this

519

myself, like little kids doing something

and they're not doing it correctly,

520

and then you go over their shoulder and

you're just like, I just wanna help you.

521

Like, no.

522

Like, that's not, you know,

a dog doesn't look like that,

523

that looks more like a pig.

524

You wanna do this for a dog, and

then suddenly they just put their pen

525

down and they walk out of the room.

526

It's like, that is what I have been doing

my whole life is, well that didn't sound,

527

I mean, you, you needs to be sharper.

528

It needs to be flatter.

529

The vibratos not wide enough, da da da.

530

To the point where you're like, I don't

even wanna touch this instrument anymore.

531

Like, you're sucking the

joy out of it for me.

532

And so I just said, no, for

the next year, I am going to do

533

things as a 4-year-old would do.

534

Him a 4-year-old sits down, draws and

doesn't look twice at their painting and

535

just gets up and leaves and so we moved

into our apartment here and I was like,

536

I wanna paint the walls in the house.

537

And it was just this kind of like.

538

Just do it.

539

And if it turns out badly, then

we can just paint it wine again.

540

Like this whole idea of it's

like nothing is really permanent.

541

I was even telling my sister the other

day, well, at least you're just painting.

542

You're not getting a tattoo in your arm.

543

I was like, leave it a tattoo.

544

You can, you can get rid of a

tattoo, like very few things unless

545

it's morally harming your soul.

546

And even then you go to

confession and it's wiped away.

547

So that idea of going after something as a

child and along with that whole, like live

548

with reckless abandonment, sometimes we

take in so much information that we're not

549

able to live with reckless abandonment.

550

'cause you just know too

much and it prevents you from

551

going out and doing anything.

552

And of just realizing that when we

give ourselves over to something

553

else or someone else, it's

really hard to know who you are.

554

And in my life it's played out

by like, how long do I make this

555

chicken like calling my sisters.

556

What's the setting again?

557

How do you make this recipe?

558

Should I do this?

559

What?

560

Like if I'm painting the house, do

you think I should, you know, just

561

constantly being number nine of 10.

562

Your older siblings always had something

to give, like advice to give and

563

so that you learn as a little kid.

564

I don't know what I'm supposed to do.

565

I need to ask my older sibling.

566

michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131:

as a middle child, number six

567

out of 10, I totally relate.

568

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131:

Yeah.

569

And I've talked to other friends

who are number two of 10 or two,

570

and they're just saying like, oh,

my younger siblings have such a hard

571

time making decisions about that.

572

I was like, and they're really

confident and they're just bold

573

and they go for everything.

574

It's like, yeah, because you had all

this, these thoughts and opinions

575

coming from up top that you just

never learned to trust yourself

576

michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131:

Yeah.

577

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131:

And realizing that, okay, I need to stop

578

hearing other people's thoughts on things.

579

I need to spend time with God,

580

michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131:

Yeah.

581

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131: and

I know that I will come to know myself

582

because what I was doing is with all these

self-help books, I was avoiding myself.

583

It was an excuse to avoid myself.

584

And to not go into either the pain

that I was feeling or the sorrow

585

or whatever it was, or afraid

to find out who I really was.

586

And when you sit in front of God, I

don't know what to talk to him about.

587

But I know that every day, sitting

in front of the blessed of Sacrament,

588

my friend told me once, father

Bjorn Lumber, we were in Europe

589

together, it was in college.

590

And he was stopping at

every single church.

591

And at every church he would stop

and pray for like 10 minutes.

592

After a while, I was like, father,

like we don't have to stop at

593

every single church to pray.

594

Like, you know, we're kind of going

to see, you know, if we prayed once,

595

like God hears this or whatever,

and he's like, no, the blessed

596

sacrament's, kind of like the sun.

597

If you sit in front of it for 10

minutes every day, you're gonna get a

598

suntan and your soul will be affected.

599

Your soul will get a suntan.

600

And so beauty's the same way.

601

For these people who were

like, I don't know what to do.

602

I don't know.

603

It's like we know who

the greats are in music.

604

You could just even type if you

need to, you Google it, but you

605

got Mozart, you got Beethoven,

you got Hayden, you have Brahms.

606

The romantics are easier to listen to when

it's kind of like, you don't like steak.

607

So dad gives you ketchup

to eat your steak.

608

And over time you start eliminating

the ketchup, and then you begin

609

to taste the flavor of the steak.

610

And at first it's well done.

611

And then you're like, well, maybe just

medium now, I'd like a medium rare.

612

So for you, if listening to romantic

classical music, which is like

613

Tchaikovsky and Brahms and Schumann and

Schubert, and people like that ak, then

614

that's great and you listen to that.

615

But maybe every once

in a while, throw in b.

616

Or Mozart or and eventually your taste

buds start getting more sophisticated.

617

But the same thing with art.

618

I mean, Rembrandt and Picasso, oh,

well, I guess Picasso's a little

619

bit different, but we have all

these great artists that we know.

620

So maybe you print that something out

for your kids and you put it in their

621

classroom or in their bedroom and be

like, we're gonna talk about this painting

622

michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131: So

623

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131:

and Yeah.

624

michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131:

I am a, Langley, Shania

625

Twain, that dates me.

626

I know there's newer artists out there,

but what if you're like a country music

627

or an indie or jazz and that's your jam?

628

Like how

629

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131:

Yeah.

630

michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131:

where do you recommend starting.

631

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131:

Well, I would say again, you have

632

to go with what speaks to you.

633

And I could recommend something

but be like, actually I love Bach.

634

Like you could be all about country music

and then realize Bach is where I wanna be.

635

It's like, wow, that's amazing.

636

'cause that's not where people

usually gravitate to when they

637

don't know classical music at all.

638

So I feel like iTunes is great with

this because, and maybe Spotify does

639

this, but you put in a classical

piece that you might like, and then it

640

just starts pulling up other, and you

listen and you start making a playlist.

641

But I feel like in the mornings

when you wake up, putting on

642

Mozart's piano concertos as you're

having your coffee, as the house

643

is waking up, or you can do piano.

644

Piano is just a little bit

lighter for a lot of people.

645

So you could do Beethoven piano concertos,

or Melanie was listening to my sister,

646

Melanie to, Mozart's clarinet Concerto.

647

And I think more than which

artist do you start with, it's

648

how are you starting your day?

649

And I think that what will end up

happening is that you're watering the

650

soil so that it becomes fertile and it's

receptive and what's incredible about

651

classical music, I think is a lot of music

especially baroque music and it starts

652

getting a little bit different as you go

through the eras, is that it was written

653

knowing that God gave them this gift.

654

So it was giving back.

655

And even if a lot of these composers who

might not have led very moral lives, they

656

knew that they were not living moral lives

or they knew that there was a God outside

657

of themselves and they understood beauty.

658

They were surrounded by it,

and then they understood it

659

michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131:

Mm-hmm.

660

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131:

we're giving it back to God.

661

So when we are listening to that music,

it's affecting us on a spiritual level.

662

michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131:

Yeah.

663

I think it's really interesting.

664

You're like, what do you wake up to,

because Okay, I am, anybody knows me.

665

I'm big country.

666

Big country.

667

I like all kinds of music.

668

But the interesting thing is

is I wake up every morning to,

669

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131:

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

670

Vivaldi.

671

michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131:

With all these four seasons

672

makes my heart happy.

673

I'm like, if I

674

have to wake up in the

morning, I need it to be

675

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131:

yeah.

676

Well, and that's the thing too, is that

I wouldn't have said Vivaldi, partly

677

because I listened to it so much in the

past that now, like I'm into other stuff.

678

But that's the thing you find out about

yourself, you're like, I need happy.

679

Or you could be like, I

just need a slow beginning.

680

And it's more like a clarinets

tree, whatever, you know over time.

681

But I think that start with somebody and

682

Give it a month.

683

Actually there's a

really great, Sadie Hoyt.

684

H-O-Y-T-E, or no, just T-H-O-Y-T-I

think Sadie hoyt do.com.

685

She has these amazing listening guides

for families, and she'll even do like, you

686

know, maze the month of these composers.

687

And then she'll talk about the different

composers and a piece by them, or she's

688

done a whole curriculum, Renaissance,

baroque classical, I think, already.

689

And the book that comes along with it has

these beautiful pictures and paintings and

690

depictions that go along because she also

understands the importance of like, it's

691

not, you need to have beautiful visuals

when with this beautiful music thing.

692

And so so for people who don't know,

or maybe more curious, I think she

693

would be a great resource where you're

like, I don't even know where to begin.

694

Like what?

695

She's like, okay, just sign up for

her thing for the month and listen

696

to the five composers that are there

and then start building a plate.

697

michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131:

So why don't you share real quick

698

maybe pick a popular piece that

people can pick up and listen to.

699

And I'll put the link in the show notes

so people, if they wanna go back and try

700

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131:

yeah.

701

michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131:

on their own.

702

But why don't you talk through real

703

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131:

Sure.

704

michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131:

What that might look like.

705

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131:

I would say, first of all with my

706

house concert series, I typically talk

about each piece beforehand as if it's

707

called painting with music because I

just, for me, music was always visual.

708

I would listen to music and a whole

story would kind of appear before me.

709

And so I'm sharing my experience

of, if you know how to listen

710

to music, this is how a story

forms for you and you can see it.

711

I found it's been really helpful

to people in today's day and

712

age, because we are so visual.

713

We don't know how to connect with things

unless they're visual most of the time.

714

And so that has been helpful, but

I would like to say that that's not

715

how music was initially written.

716

It wasn't with this whole idea,

like a composer didn't sit down and

717

have like, I have this story in my

mind, and this is like musically

718

what that story would look like.

719

I mean, it was just pure music and people

understood the form, the structure of

720

music, and they knew how to enter into it.

721

And so for those people who are just

kind of like, oh, I never see a story.

722

That's totally fine.

723

You don't have to see a story.

724

There's lots of ways of encountering

music, but for somebody who is visual or

725

this might help until he gets to the point

where he can just listen to the music

726

music or any art form really is a

reflection of the world outside of us.

727

And when you, again, if think along

those lines of analog or everything

728

having a shape or a curve to it and

it's all, this beautiful, even like

729

jagged has like lines and stuff like

that, there, they're nothing is steps.

730

It's all kind of curves.

731

Music will have the same thing.

732

So realizing that when you listen

to piece of music, you're gonna

733

be listening to the contours.

734

We talk about the contours all the time.

735

Is the music rising?

736

Is it going down and how is it rising?

737

It's breathing, it's alive.

738

It's, you can almost hear like

the ocean or see like the swell

739

and then it coming down again.

740

And so that could be just one

thing that you're listening to.

741

You're listening, how

is this being shaped?

742

Also very often you will have multiple,

instruments playing at the same time.

743

And when it's multiple

instruments and there are

744

conversations that are happening.

745

So even though both are playing,

you'll never have two people

746

talking at the same time.

747

So you wanna listen and

say, well, who's talking?

748

And who's the supporting role here?

749

You know, very often pianos will just have

this dump bump, bump, bump, bump, bump.

750

So they're supporting, but their support

is very critical to how these lines

751

and the contours are gonna happen.

752

Is it a long flowing, like for

the swan for instance, you have.

753

The piano, and initially it's the

harp, but it's this da, it's not like

754

you can already hear the difference.

755

And that creates a different

feeling inside of you.

756

Just this or, you know, this long flowy.

757

So listening to the piano, to the

accompaniment, what it's doing, and

758

then how the melody is soaring over it.

759

So when I talk about this piece in

my painting with music concert, I'll

760

explained that the piano is the water

and how the water moves affects how I

761

float as the swan on top of the water.

762

So I always have to be listening

to what the piano is doing in the

763

same way as the audience has to

listen to what the piano's doing.

764

And because it's not going

765

like right away.

766

There you in my mind is, oh,

that's ocean, this huge waves.

767

But because it's just this little

going up and little going down,

768

you have a sense of, oh, it's

probably a lake, something smaller.

769

And the piece being called the

swan, it's going to be about a

770

swan and the melody is the animal.

771

So I'm going to be the swan and you'll

hear, I start here in the beginning,

772

and then again, you wanna be listening

to the contours of the music.

773

So that was just kind of going

from up all the way down.

774

And then you hear me rising

higher than where I started

775

because it goes up and

it kind of stops there.

776

You have this feeling of maybe

the neck being stretched up

777

of the swan or these arms.

778

It's just stretching.

779

It's opening itself up, to the wind,

but it's not taking off anywhere yet.

780

And then in the middle section,

you always wanna be listening

781

to contrast in the beginning is

gonna have one kind of feel to it.

782

The middle section is going to be

the, not the complete opposite, but

783

it'll be a little bit different.

784

And then you always go back not always.

785

Very often you will go back to hearing

the beginning section towards the end.

786

So it's like a bookend.

787

To both sections, but this middle section,

788

the fact that it's up here in this higher

register, you're gonna feel it differently

789

in a different place inside of your body.

790

I almost feel it like this aura

of light that's just moving

791

around inside of your body.

792

And you're gonna feel it in

different parts of you because

793

sound has resonance and,

794

michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131:

It's pulling my heart.

795

It is

796

pulling my heart.

797

Like

798

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131:

yeah,

799

michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131:

like, my

800

heart's just kind of like

moving towards the microphone

801

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131:

yeah.

802

michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131:

or the screen.

803

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131:

you have this higher register also, which

804

just kinda has that feeling of like,

yeah, coming, you wanna come out, you

805

wanna like stand up and go towards it.

806

And it moves more than in the beginning.

807

And so there's more motion in the swan.

808

And then you're gonna hear the beginning

part again as a bookend is the end.

809

So it's kind of.

810

Swans settling down and for the evening

or whatever, and then moving on.

811

And That's the big thing is

that sound waves are vibrations.

812

Our whole body has vibrations

and different parts of our

813

bodies vibrate differently.

814

And, I don't know if you're

familiar with tuning forks.

815

People will sometimes heal, different

parts of your body with a tuning fork

816

because, they know a healthy liver

vibrates at a certain frequency, A

817

gallbladder does blah, blah blah.

818

So if your liver is not healthy,

the vibration will be off.

819

And what they'll sometimes do is

they'll take the frequency of the

820

liver in a tuning fork and they'll

hit the tuning fork and they'll bring

821

it close to the liver so that the

liver starts feeling that vibration

822

and it starts vibrating again at the

healthy and it cleans up the liver.

823

And I feel like with music,

824

beautiful music God is inside

of that and there's a certain

825

vibration and it's gonna come in.

826

And if our hearts are still, or we're

broken or whatever, either be like

827

from trauma or pain or, feelings of

abandonment basically everything that

828

everybody experiences and you listen

to the, to beautiful music, it's gonna

829

start moving your heart to vibrate

again, to feel at the correct vibrations.

830

And it's actually healing.

831

It can heal parts of you.

832

michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131:

do you think it matters if

833

you listen on Spotify or on a

record like the analog or the

834

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131:

I don't think so.

835

I anything is better.

836

Like steak with ketchup is better

than nothing at all kind of thing.

837

I think that live music

is always the best.

838

'cause you actually feel the vibrations

in my house, concerts, I'm so close

839

that people have been like, oh,

I can feel the vibrations of the

840

string, the instrument come out.

841

So you're gonna feel that more in a live.

842

The nex is an analog.

843

The nex is a digital.

844

So it's not just about the vibrations,

but the pitches will create that

845

you're listening to create a

certain vibration within you.

846

So again, God will use any medium to heal,

but very often it can be a form of prayer,

847

of approaching God with a beautiful

piece of music and saying, heal my heart.

848

I don't know what's going on.

849

I'm in a lot of pain.

850

I don't know where this pain comes

from or why it's there and you don't

851

need to know why, but by listening

to this beautiful music, I want to

852

you God, and I'm allowing

you to, to heal my heart.

853

So, again, one of those things like, well,

how do I know what beautiful music is?

854

Well, because we know that

Bach wrote beautiful music

855

like Bach above everybody else.

856

If you wanna listen to the Bach cello

suites, he's got six cello suites.

857

Just have that listen to one

suite every morning, or a

858

movement of a suite as a prayer.

859

And, in even Casals, who found this

Bach unaccompanied suites, he said

860

every morning he would start with a box.

861

Sweet.

862

And he said that for him was his

encounter with God, his prayer.

863

So we know that these,

pieces are spiritual.

864

Right?

865

And if they've withstood the test

of time, usually it's because

866

they have something to them.

867

Side note, just literature.

868

Another really great one.

869

My mom was really big.

870

We were never allowed to Sweet

Valley High, nothing like that.

871

Those were just not that.

872

Again, that's cotton candy.

873

We only read the grates, but.

874

We know who the greats are 'cause

they, withstood the test of

875

time, Dickens Austin, you start

reading those more and your body

876

will start vibrating to a certain

frequency, the frequency of beauty.

877

And then you'll start

understanding music more.

878

And then you'll start art more.

879

And poetry like all these things, they

all live in the same vat of beauty.

880

So if you expose yourself to beautiful

literature, naturally it'll start

881

spilling over into the other art forms.

882

So anyways, that being said,

I'll play now the swan for you

883

so if you wanna hear me live,

then you'll have to have me

884

come to your school or your,

885

your home.

886

michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131:

Tell us about what, you do,

887

how people can reach you.

888

And by the way, she has a painting

with music program that Larissa will

889

take into, whether it's a conference

and you wanna have something of beauty

890

that you're sharing at a conference.

891

It's been as played as entertainment

or part of a dinner program for

892

large organizations who want

something that's a little different.

893

And it's a really wonderful way to help

learn about music, help teach, not just,

894

adults like me you, but also children

about the beauty of listening to music.

895

So, Larissa, why don't you share

a little bit more and then any

896

parting thoughts you might have.

897

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131: I

started doing it in people's backyards

898

and their homes, but I've progressed

into doing it at schools, assemblies.

899

I've done a bunch of

schools across America.

900

The Valor School was down in Texas.

901

They had me come out for a week and

I went to all five of their schools

902

and did assemblies in all of their

schools, which is really incredible.

903

I've played in theaters and

conferences, things like that.

904

So it really works for

any kind of setting.

905

If you just want to have a little

bit of education on classical

906

music, I can make it work.

907

People can email me, which

is l [email protected]

908

Parting thoughts?

909

My biggest parting thought would be to

slow down in whatever capacity you're

910

able to, not to judge yourself and just be

like, oh, I'm not sitting down listening

911

to Symphony, I'm not looking at art books.

912

I'm not, whatever it is that draws you.

913

Maybe if you don't know, then your

heart just needs a little jumpstart.

914

And the best way to do that is to put

yourself out in nature and just sit and

915

allow yourself to be moved by beauty.

916

We're surrounded by it constantly.

917

And if you have to go outside to find

it then, maybe just intentionally think

918

about what little beautiful things

can I put in my house that move me?

919

Surround yourself by things that move you.

920

And then just see where it takes

you because it's a relationship

921

with God, and God speaks to each

one of us in a very different way.

922

So it's gonna look

different for each person.

923

And think of it as just this self,

discovery, a deeper way of getting

924

to know yourself through beauty.

925

michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131:

And I like how you said that this

926

year, you're putting yourself in that

place of a 4-year-old when you're.

927

working on stuff instead of being super

critical and hypercritical of yourself

928

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131:

Yeah.

929

michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131:

things just to really enter in

930

as a child and the Lord says, let

the little children come unto me.

931

And

932

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131:

Yeah.

933

michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131:

I love how within all of that, it's

934

the wonder we have that as kids and

it's just stepping back into that.

935

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131:

Yeah.

936

Finding that I know what I was like

when I was four, and I'm very different

937

than what I am now, but some things need

to change, but it's a side of me that

938

I miss, and it was just this playful

curiosity that I had as a child that

939

I don't now because I'm too critical.

940

And so it's like, all right,

I need to be playfully curious

941

about the world around me.

942

michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131:

that to be playfully curious.

943

Well, first of all, thank you,

Larissa, for joining us on the

944

podcast and for sharing your heart.

945

I can't wait to see you, the next

time or hop on another virtual

946

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131:

Yeah.

947

michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131:

at some point.

948

Uh, I finally picked my cello back up.

949

My arms started hurting

really, really quickly.

950

I'm like, shoot, man, I gotta

get back to daily practice.

951

But I'm grateful for you and for

your heart and sharing about music

952

and classical music, especially

when there's such a big group of us

953

who didn't have that same exposure.

954

And to have an understanding of that and

how it can help us dive back into wonder.

955

and just want to encourage you,

I'm gonna put the links of the

956

resources and things that Larissa

has talked about into the show notes.

957

So if you're like, oh

shoot, where was that?

958

Just go look quickly at the show notes

on your podcast platform that you use and

959

you should be able to grab it real quick.

960

I wanna encourage you to listen to

the swan with the piano and dive in.

961

That might be a great first practice

of the active listening to classical

962

music and allow that playful curiosity.

963

To enter in.

964

I think all the walls we build over the

years, not enoughs, can't get it right.

965

Critical.

966

Like you said, Larissa, the

voices of criticism stop us

967

from being playfully curious.

968

In my last podcast, Catherine

Sigma Wadsworth mentioned every

969

day she tries to find delight.

970

I feel like these are little

messages coming together, being

971

playfully curious, finding delight.

972

God wants us to be joyful.

973

The enemy steals that from us with

the constant go, go, go, things

974

coming at us, just the battles

975

that we fight, interiorly and

Just trying to survive life.

976

squadcaster-81i1_1_04-21-2026_094131:

Yeah.

977

michelle-hillaert_1_04-21-2026_114131:

and, God says, be a child.

978

Be play curious, find delight and let your

light shine as you do that, like becoming

979

that person that God created you to be and

allowing him to shine through on others.

980

Yeah, so let your little light shine

and then as always, listen to the

981

music, be playfully curious, and my

friends continue to live fearlessly.